The details come out.
DISCLAIMER:I only own my OC's every other character is owned by Disney, Lucas and everyone else who has ever written anything for Star Wars. This is for entertainment only. My own and anyone who cares to read it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ana had risen early as normal, fed the Nuna, returned to make a Caf and finally sat at the table to savour it; the first Caf of the day always tasted the best.
Today was going to be better, she had finally sorted her head out and made her decision.
Taking another long drink she savoured the Caf and stretched her legs out underneath the table.
Her foot touched something on the floor; pushing it out from under the table with her toe, she saw it was one of her Diaries.
Stang!
What was it doing here? It had been packed away.
"Rex!" She shouted and bent to pick up the datapad; it was the last one she did.
Rex came out of the bedroom rushing, half washed, wiping his face with a towel, "You ok, that sounded urgent. Is there….." his voice trailed off, as he saw what she was holding.
"Did you read them?"
"Yes."
"You shouldn't have, they're personal."
"I….." he began.
"They're mine and they're personal." She interrupted, her face was flushed.
"You've said that already."
"You shouldn't have read them, they're mine."
"You've said that as well."
"I should have burnt them, I only kept them for my doctor and me, it was to help."
"What Doctor?"
"Some things are so personal that…"
"Is it any different to you stalking me on the Holonet?
She opened her mouth and closed it quickly.
"Those didn't tell me what he did to you, would you have?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I can't even admit to myself, what he did to me."
"Why not?"
"Why couldn't you tell me what happened in the War."
He opened his mouth and closed it now.
Ana shook her head as she left the room
.
Rex went out to the orchard, it was a fresh and pleasant day for a change, he had promised to prune some of the fruit trees; Ana had shown him what to do. It promoted new growth, apparently. He had started but was distracted with what had just happened between them; she had left him with no further explanation.
What Raif had done, it preyed on his mind. He cannot imagine doing anything like that to someone you loved. He would never….
"Osi'kyr!" The saw slipped and cut his hand, he wasn't concentrating, he was thinking so much about what he had been told, what he had seen and overheard.
Raif had said he was clean.
'Not had any spice in months.'
'was holding down a job now.'
'realised what he had done.'
'Could she forgive him?'
'He missed her.'
In his mind he saw Raif's hand cover hers, as his often did. She had looked at Raif but she didn't say no.
Ana didn't refuse him.
"You've cut yourself." He heard her voice, breaking into those uncomfortable thoughts, as he came back to the present, "Let me clean it and dress it. How on Seelos did you manage that?"
"Huh?"
"How did you manage to cut yourself?"
"Are you going back to him?" The cut didn't matter, he'd had worse.
She didn't look up from treating his hand, the antiseptic stung and he normally joked about not having any painkillers but not this time.
"Of course not." She kept dabbing. "Why would you think that?" And put on one of the small home made Bacta patches on it. She was calm now.
He had more questions.
"Ana, you can shoot and you can defend yourself, your father taught you how. Why didn't you defend yourself against Raif?" He had to ask, had to know.
She stood there silent just looking at him, then slumped and she opened up. "It started soon after we married. Previously, he'd been perfect. He began controlling everything, what we ate, what I wore. If I disagreed….the rows were ...and then the small beatings happened. They would come out of the blue. He always said he was sorry; he cried even, begged me to forgive him and I did. Always."
She stood, still like a statue.
"Eventually, I told Jed, he didn't believe me, then I started to fight back and he would beat me more and then he started threatening my family. I cut myself off from them."
she continued to look down.
"i thought if I didn't have anything to do with them he would leave them alone."
Ana never looked at him through the whole of this, it was as if she was ashamed.
"After a while… my confidence….was so eroded that I couldn't make a decision of my own, not even what to wear, not without him. He controlled me ... completely. I thought everything was my fault because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, clever enough or cooked well enough. I couldn't even clean the house well enough. His affair with Nerra, I knew about and tolerated."
"Bastard." Muttered Rex, he knew what the control was like, his childhood came back to him.
"It was Tula who finally found out when she saw the bruises; she had decided to visit when he wasn't there but even then it wasn't until Jed actually broke into the house during a fight and stopped him..."
She didn't say how badly she was injured and that it took her at least 6 weeks to recuperate; she missed out that part.
"My Father was mortified that he hadn't found out sooner; he blamed himself. I think that's what killed him."
Rex thought at that point she was on the verge of tears but she recovered herself and continued:
"Rex, I thought I had found someone who I could spend the rest of my life with, raise a family with but you know what he said to me once: 'You better get pregnant this time, I need the money from the Empire. I've signed up with them. They pay an allowance for every child we have.' That's all he wanted."
The orchard was eerily silent when she stopped speaking, until Rex put his arms around her shoulders and held her.
It must have been several minutes before he finally spoke; she meant a great deal to him, more than any other woman ever had except, perhaps, Ahsoka, and it had never been like that with her. He knew there had been rumours, but they had not been lovers. She had had a crush on him at one point, he had realised, but it had never crossed his mind to take advantage of that.
"I just saw how he was talking to you, trying to persuade you."
"Rex, he means nothing to me now. He'll never change."
"But since then …..I thought he had succeeded…."
"I'm sorry, I just needed to be alone to think, to consider everything, to make sure ….about you...and you are just too distracting. You wonderful man."
Her decision had been that her past life was just that...past.
She planted a kiss on his cheek and walked off, looking over her shoulder, she smiled, as she left the orchard. He didn't need any further prompt, he knew that look.
Rex grinned and set off after her; he reached her just outside the orchard and was greeted with a searing kiss after she pulled his head down to hers and she wrapped her arms around him as far as they could go.
He wasn't going to refuse, he didn't think that this happened to many men, who looked like he did.
"So what have I done to deserve this?" He asked smiling.
"Nothing, just for being you. For being there."
"You make me feel young again."
She giggled. Then went silent and serious.
"A cred for them?" He asked.
"Nothing." She kissed him again, he looked around; they were isolated, it was a warm day, he pulled her down onto the warm grass, she giggled again. "Rex?" He soon stopped her giggling.
.
As she lay in his arms, she knew this was on of those perfect moments; the ones you wish could last forever but wouldn't. She knew at some time he would have to go and find his brothers, or they would come here. She'd been thinking about that a lot recently; the reasons he didn't go after them was that he didn't know exactly where they were and he couldn't trust the speeder on any long journeys. He said. She wasn't complaining, she liked having him here. She wanted him to stay. Permanently.
"There's plenty of room here, room for both you and your brothers." She said, tentatively. She had thought it all through.
"Hmm?" He replied.
"The house could be extended, more bedrooms and bathrooms, or even totally separate living space." She stroked his beard, as she was talking "or the workshop could be converted."
"Hmm," He replied and kissed her palm. "I like just the two of us."
"You would." She laughed, she did too but knew from what he said, what he was he wouldn't abandon his brothers.
They lay for a while soaking up the sun and each other, until the sun started to go down; Rex got up and pulled her up to him, "Better get those Roba fed again or they'll be trying to escape." They laughed as they walked back to the house; Rex veered off to the Roba pen to feed them. He reminded himself of Cut Lawquayne now; he had found himself a woman, with a farm. Those cute kids would be adults now or near enough; he hoped that time had been kind to them and that Cut and Suu were still ok. He smiled to himself. "Deserters eh." He said to no one in particular. He sorted the Roba; they always came to the fence now, to greet him, as they knew he would be feeding them. He filled the trough and left them to it; still pondering how Ana had managed to run all this by herself and headed back to the house, back to the woman who was waiting for him.
He finally realised it made all the difference having a woman love you, waiting for you.