When I woke up for a second I didn't know where I was, my body shot up as I wiped the stray black locks out of my eyes. A groan came from next to me as I began to move around the sheets on the bed, until a pair of hands shot up and wrapped me tighter.
"Please don't leave, just a little longer." Victorya whispered as she brought me closer, she wiped the sweat from my head and lightly kissed it.
I couldn't leave her now, as the night continued on she pressed her head closer to my chest as I saw her body rise and fall after each breath.
She looked so graceful while she slept, I wondered what she was dreaming about for her too be so relaxed. Or maybe she was just calm hearing my heartbeat against my rib cage. Maybe too her that sound would always keep me with her.
She was asleep for the rest of the night, I didn't make any attempts to move her or leave but rather wait for the soft yellow lights of morning to break in from the crack of the window.
I got off the bed carefully, I was trying to be quiet as possible so I wouldn't wake up Victorya as I began to get dressed, I located my pants and shirt as I began to get ready. I was fixing my belt buckle as I heard Victorya softly move the sheets out of her way.
I turned around seeing her wrap the sheets to cover her body as she smiled at me, I turned around so I wouldn't see her as she quickly scooted towards the bathroom.
When I was done I walked to the edge of the bed and began to tie my shoelaces, Victorya walked out of the bathroom and zippered up my jacket.
"You don't have to do that."
"It's fine, I want too Frank." she said as she held my chin
She was something else, the whole scene made her seem like she was my wife tightening up my tie for me. She had something tucked under her shirt that was hidden in her chest, I lightly held it in my hands as I began to observe it.
It was a normal necklace but in the middle of it was the ring I had given her the past night, I stared at it in my open palm. She smiled at me as she lightly kissed my forehead again and began to put on her clothes.
I instantly turned away causing her to do a faint chuckle.
"Why are you turning away, you saw the whole me last night." she smiled at me, that damn smile was able to cause my heart to feel warm
"I know, but it just feels strange you know." I muttered
She picked up her cap and adjusted it on her head, it looked kind of silly how uneven it was due to her long hair.
She opened the door as me and her walked together with both of our hands locked, she told me how it was really early and most of the other members of the 203rd were probably sleeping off a hangover so we didn't have to worry about anybody catching us.
But there was still something bugging me, I looked over towards her smiling face ready to ask the question.
"Victorya last night, did I hurt you?" I asked, it was the only thing I was thinking about while I was up all night.
She stared at me shockingly as the grip on her hand tightened, her eyes narrowed as her voice went stern.
"You could never hurt me Frank, it was a wonderful night that I will never forget." she said as she purposely walked closer to me, I stopped holding her hand as I wrapped both of my arms around her as we began walking to the cafeteria for breakfast.
Right before we entered the door she instantly pushed herself off of me as she began to quickly dust off her uniform, she didn't want Tanya and the other officers too see her with me.
I stuck my hands in my pockets as I began to slouch my shoulders, was this how it was going to be from now on?
Me and her would act like we would not know each other for possibly years, didn't matter how we were engaged and how we did that thing last night.
We were practically strangers to everybody, not lovers or anything more. She probably could smell the depressing aura I was giving off as she quickly pecked me on my cheek and ran her fingers through my hair one last time.
She was truly the sweetest girl I had ever met, as she bolted into the cafeteria I hung around for a while so it wouldn't seem that me and her walked together until I went inside for breakfast.
Just like Victorya said there weren't that many people here, I walked over to the line and got breakfast. Potatoes and eggs, a strange breakfast but regardless it was still good.
I would take occasional glances at the officer's table seeing Victorya,Tanya, and the other officers discuss things. Sometimes I could feel Victorya's eyes on me as I ate my food, when I was done I cleaned off my plate and left the cafeteria in search of anything to do.
All I wanted was to be near her, eat breakfast together like that time she visited me at the hospital, but I knew my place.
I went to the armory and took out my gun and walked over towards the shooting range, I usually didn't practice my shooting but today I just was bored.
I fired off multiple shots until the rattling in my ears began to adjust to the sound of machine gun fire, I was really glad that nobody was around me today.
Cause without Victorya around my side it just felt really hard to do anything, and I was basically planning on doing anything to run into her.
Maybe I act like I was heading her way, but in reality I was just trying to bump into her. Even holding her hand for even just a second would be enough for me.
After each bullet went into a new target dummy I was slowly beginning to forget about Victorya. When I was done with the tenth dummy I stripped the gun of it's part and went to an area where I could peacefully clean the gun.
The 203rd had an area dedicated to repairing, modifying, and cleaning weapons. Command must of had given a lot of money to the unit for the supplies that were here, I began working smelling the strong smell of gun oil wrapped around my gun.
A tool to be used effectively, must be taken care of. Cause without this gun I won't be able to be efficient with my objectives. I began to slowly realize how without Victorya or without human interaction, I began to become this.
A robot that had one goal, a goal to mercilessly kill anybody that opposed the mighty reign of the empire. Once I was willing to do just that, give my soul and body to the empire and let somebody else find my purpose.
War...Death...Killing...Adrenaline, all these things keep me going as I fight, no matter how much I hate fighting that is something that can never be removed. These experiences, no matter how much time passes or the people that have a positive impact on me.
I will never change, there is a beast inside of me, maybe a small part of my soul wants to keep on going, that part of me would rather fight for my life than live it.
In my past life I was damaged, and in this one I might be worse. Before I was always alone...this lack of emotion...has always kept me on my feet...and I knew that no matter the obstacle, or how bad a situation would be that if I was able to numb myself I would be able to succeed.
But now after meeting and being with Victorya, it was like a switch that has been dormant inside of me for years had just been turned on.
Now I was ready to fight for her, because now she was my purpose and I would be damned to lose my purpose. Cause now I was sure, that what I truly hoped for was with her.
Nothing else really happened today, I packed up, eat lunch and dinner without Victorya, read, sketched, and even wrote in the journal. But while I was sketching away I felt a soft pat on me as a strange weight rested on my head.
"What are you doing." I chuckled, Victorya was strangely resting her chin on my head. I tucked the book and pencils away.
"Nothing, but if you want the major isn't going to be sleeping in the bunk today."
"Is that really a question?" I joked as I got up and brought her shoulder close to me as me and her both began to walk through the dimly lit compound, with her it was feeling like home.