***Please Note this chapter contains NSFW content (smut), skip this chapter if that is not your thing, if it is, hope you enjoy :) ***
R2 proved surprisingly adept at translating the Sith map and Rey was able to leave the piloting up to him for the time being. She was exhausted, still feeling the effects of her overexertion. Ben sat quietly next to her, she could feel his eyes on her, "credit for your thoughts?" she asked.
He smiled softly, tilting his head to the side as he considered what to say. He settled upon the truth, "Thinking about that dream we shared on Rakata. The one we were so rudely awoken from."
Rey felt her cheeks flush with color at the thought, deciding to deflect with humor rather than discuss it head on, smirking, "Do you ever think of anything else?"
He leaned closer to her, a playfulness about him, "Rarely."
"Pervert." She said without much conviction, for she had also been thinking about it. What it meant. Did it mean anything? Did they actually do that? Is that what it really would feel like?
Ben could sense that she was just as affected by remembering it as he was, but that she was hesitant, unsure."You don't regret it now, do you?" He asked, suddenly finding himself uncertain if he had gone too far.
"Do you?" She said, turning in her seat to face him fully.
"No," he breathed, "I treasure every moment I've shared with you, every touch is a blessing of the force. I'm sorry that I go straight to… That… Every time I find you in our dreams but I can't help myself. I've thought about it for so long. I don't want to waste a moment." He looked down to his ghostly hands, opening and closing them, "Our dreams are the only time I can touch you, the only time I feel like I get to have you truly to myself."
"I want all of it. I want everything. I want to lose myself in you. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I've never felt like this." She fidgeted with her hands in her lap, "I have seen people do stupid things for love and never understood it. Until now."
He placed a hand over hers, soothing both of their fidgeting, "I'd do all kinds of stupid things for you," another smile, "like follow a Sith map to force knows where with a droid that I swear can sense me." He paused to glance at R2 who did not acknowledge him, "on a hunch that maybe we'll find something that will help us."
She would have flicked him if she could, "Hey, this is not stupid. Only sort of inadvisable."
He laughed lightly, "Only sort of." Ben leaned forward, close enough that if he had been able to he would have kissed her. His gaze drifted over her lips, "Force do I wish I could kiss you right now."
She licked her lips, watching as that movement caused him to shiver and close his eyes while taking in a shaky breath. Rey liked that she affected him like this. Even when he was Kylo Ren, she remembered him looking at her like this, and a secret part of her had liked it then too. She had avoided that part of her, shut it away, afraid that if she gave in she would lose herself. Now here she was willing to do anything to help this man, to be with him. Giving herself to him body and soul.
She asked finally, "Do you, do you feel differently now than you did before? About me?"
He pursed his lips, considering a moment on how he should answer. Once again, the truth was the only choice, "No," he caught her eyes with his, "Rey, even in my darkest moments you were my light. I may have been frustrated, angry, annoyed that you wouldn't love me on my terms, but through it all I loved you. Even as Ren I would have treasured you if you'd have let me. But I wouldn't have deserved you then. I still don't feel like I do now."
"I think," she said quietly, "That I loved you from the moment we touched hands. When I really saw you for you... It haunted me, that year after. Like I was betraying the light by feeling like that. I fought it. I agonised over it alone. Tried so hard to hate you, but I couldn't." she shook her head, "and please stop saying you don't deserve me, I thought we'd covered that. You do."
"All right," he said, lifting his hand to brush over her cheek, "I'll stop saying it."
"Good," Rey yawned, stretching in her seat.
"You should sleep my love," he said tenderly, running his hand over her hair, even though she couldn't feel it the motions soothed him.
"Mmhmm," she said rubbing her eyes and leaning back in her seat, wrapping her arms around herself, "Join me?"
"Of course," he said, moving to sit with her, taking her arms as his and holding her the way he now knew she liked.
It wasn't long before she found herself lulled into a deep sleep by the soft hum of the engines and Ben's comforting presence.
Snoke's throne room, exactly how she remembered it immediately after their battle; fires still burned and debris lay scattered about, the only thing missing from the tableau were the bodies. She was facing the oculus, pointed out at the empty stars beyond; Rey remembered watching Resistance escape pods being mercilessly destroyed one by one from here, helpless to do anything about it. She stood mesmerized by her memories until the sound of leather against leather behind her pulled her attention away. She turned around and her mouth went dry at the sight before her.
Kylo Ren stood there, just as he had that night, a gloved hand extended towards her. It sent a shiver down her spine. Force how she had wanted to take that hand, but when she had looked into his eyes Ben was only a shadow and at the time it just wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for her to forsake her friends, her morals, her choices.
She stood across from him, as beautiful and feral as he remembered. The battle had left him amped up, his emotions running high, his desperation for her to take his hand almost too much to bare. He'd instinctively reached out to her, beckoning, praying for her to give in and join him. When she'd chosen not to his anger had boiled over, he blamed her weakness, her inability to let the past go, but really it was his weakness, his inability to let his past go, that caused her to leave him. He saw it all so clearly now. How could he have been so blind? All he needed to do was bend a little and she would too; that they'd find each other in the middle, not his side or her side, but the middle, where they belonged. He opened and closed his hand, the leather of his glove creaking as he implored once more, "Please."
Her body ached, not just from battle, but to be touched, held. She searched his eyes and this time. This time she saw him. Ben looked back at her now and Kylo was the shadow, still there, as he always would be, but no longer in control. She burst forward past his hand and right into him, pressing herself against his chest, arms wrapping up around his neck, going up on her toes to reach his lips with her own.
He gathered her up in his arms, head dipping down, his lips catching hers in a searing kiss, his tongue seeking out her own. He lifted her slightly off the ground, her legs moving to wrap around his waist. He groaned into her mouth, his hands gripping her thighs to hold her up.
She clung to him, arms tightening around his neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist. When he groaned his hands tightened on her thighs and it pulled a whimper from her. Rey kissed him until she was breathless and had to pull back, pressing her forehead against his as they both caught their breath.
"Show me," she said lustfully, "Show me what Ren would have done if I'd taken his hand."
Ben shuddered with pleasure at the idea, his hands tightening on her thighs again, "What I would have done or what I wanted to do?"
"What you wanted to do," she said against his lips.
His lips devoured hers then and he turned towards the empty throne behind them. He stepped towards it as they kissed, moving to settle her down upon it, kneeling before her between her legs. Once she sat upon the throne his gloved hands moved up to tug off her belt, tossing it aside roughly as he continued to kiss her.
When she was sat upon the throne she moved her hands to cup his face, enjoying the taste of him as he pulled her belt off. She felt him begin to unravel the loose wrapping over her chest, tossing that aside as well; It left her in a black tank top, pants and boots. Rey scooted forward on the throne so that she was pressed up against him, again wrapping her legs around him, grinding against him. Even through all the fabric she could feel how badly he wanted her, he was hard as a rock and it only encouraged her to kiss him harder and tighten her legs around him.
He moaned against her mouth as she pressed and rubbed herself against him. One of his hands moved up to cup the back of her neck, while his other hand moved down to tug at the top of her pants. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck again, lifting herself up slightly so he could yank them down. He pulled his lips away from hers as he settled her back upon the throne, leaning back to pull off her boots and pants; This left just her panties and a tank top now. His breathing was erratic and his eyes had gone dark with lust as he looked down at her.
She had eagerly helped him take off her pants and boots and when he leaned back to look at her she opened her legs and leaned back on the throne, waiting. Trembling with desire.
He ran a gloved hand up the inside of her thigh, his eyes watching her, reveling in the way she reacted to his touch. His fingers slid up and under her panties, pausing for a moment so he could watch her anticipation. When she moaned and shifted her hips invitingly he leaned forwards, one hand braced next to her as he dipped the other into her. One finger slid in first, slowly, she was so wet it met no resistance and he soon added another. Rey keened and writhed under him, her hands clutching at his chest as his gloved fingers moved inside her. He spread them and she whined so beautifully, her breathing picked up and he sensed her quickly approaching a climax. His fingers pumped slowly in and out of her, his thumb joining to slide over her most sensitive spot. Her hips moved against his hand more the closer she got, her hands moving to grip the back of his neck as he leaned down to put his forehead on hers. When he sensed she was right on the precipice, he hooked his fingers inside her and drove her over the edge. She came with a cry and it was a glorious sight, he watched her as she shivered and trembled beneath him, her insides gripping his fingers. It made him throb with need. His whole body wanted to follow her into ecstasy but he didn't want to, not yet.
Just moments after the wave crested on her orgasm she could already feel another rising. She could feel his desire, one of her hands drifting down between them to grip his arousal through the front of his pants. This pulled a strained moan from him and he leaned back slightly as he undid his belt, tossing it and his tunic aside with hers. He shucked off the suspenders beneath and then, suddenly moved to pick her up and spin around. He now sat on the throne, and she straddled his lap. Rey once again slid a hand between them, opening his pants to release him. She took him in hand and stroked him gently. He sucked in a shuddering breath beneath her, his eyes never leaving hers as she moved to position herself above him. His gloved hands tightened on her hips as she slid her panties aside. They both gasped as she slowly moved down onto him, pushing him slowly, inch by inch, deep inside her.
It was divine, he stretched her to the limit, fitting perfectly once she had all of him inside her. Rey sat there a moment, getting used to his size, closing her eyes to enjoy the sensation. When she reopened her eyes he was staring up at her in awe. She leaned forward and captured his lips in a soft kiss as she slowly began moving her hips up and down, letting him guide her with his hands. His breathing changed and she could feel him giving in, letting his body take over. He began bucking up against her, getting rougher the closer he got to completion. His fingers dug into her hips harder, the leather of his gloves creaking as his breathing turned to grunts with each thrust. It felt so good that she too let herself go, riding him to the rhythm of their bodies, pulling back to moan with pleasure as his thrusts hit her in just the right spot.
When their orgasm hit it was like an electric shock, they both came almost violently, bodies shaking, loud cries of passion pulled from their lips. It took them a few moments to come down from their high, both breathing hard, Rey collapsed forward, resting her head on his shoulder, keeping him buried inside her.
It was perfect, she was perfect, he turned his head to capture her lips for a soft kiss, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek. He was about to move out of her but she stopped him, a hand on his arm, pressing him back.
"No… I want to stay like this," she whispered hoarsely.
He smiled tiredly and kissed her again, "All right my love."
They sat like that for a long time, on the throne surrounded by destruction, and neither had ever been happier.