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Chapter 18

Several months later

"...I swear to God the RA jumped straight up and ran a mile. This guy was screaming and yelling about the halls being haunted and that everyone needed to evacuate. This grown ass man actually thought that- we were pretty sure he wet himself. Meanwhile, we were still both hiding behind the cleaner's cart..."

Everyone listened as Rhodey and Tony recalled a story from their MIT days. They were all laughing, even the normally uptight Steve was chuckling at the idea of a normally sensible college student think their halls were haunted.

Emily was seated between his legs, drink in hand. His chin rested on the top of her head, one of his hands linking with her free one.

They were doing well, very well in fact. The gossip didn't die down at work for weeks, but that was to be expected- they were the Brangelina of SHIELD. Tony, however, seemed the most excited to have Steve with be with someone. He'd liked Emily from their first meeting and thought she was the perfect one to bring the shy blond out of his shell. Steve had gotten very tired of his constant prodding, especially because he liked to keep things private.

Agent Coulson had kept good on his word about being protective of Emily. Emily had invited them both to dinner; cheerily oblivious of the fact her uncle was clearly testing Steve. The dinner had gone well though, as Coulson shook Steve's hand at it to indicate that he approved.

For some reason, Steve felt relieved.

He'd met Claire was well, Emily's best friend. They were polar opposites in so many ways, as Claire was a lot more introverted and less excitable than Emily was. Still, he liked and respected her. It took a lot of guts for her to turn to do a business course instead of college and then open a store in her early 20s. Steve got why Claire and Emily clicked, they just seemed like platonic soulmates. They finished each other's sentences without a thought.

Steve still had a lot to get used to. Sleeping in bed with Emily felt strange, even though he'd done it before when they'd been on missions. He'd never slept with a woman so close to him but he found that he enjoyed it. Emily had cuddled right up to him on the first night and though he felt strange to putting his arms around her, he immediately felt at peace as she lay against his chest.

It was still fairly innocent, at least on Steve's end.

Rhodey and Tony finished the story, making everyone laugh. They gathered in small groups to chat more, with the host of the party finding himself with Steve and Emily.

"How are you two lovebirds?" Tony asked, shifting onto the cushion.

"We're good," Emily smiled, Steve nodding in agreement.

"Ah, the start of a relationship when you're young, there's nothing else."

"I wasn't aware you had relationships Tony, only sex," Emily deadpanned.

"There have been girls I've slept with more than once, dear young thing, I just didn't do commitment until I met Pep. Even I found love and that is a strange thing to say. If you'd told me that ten years ago, I would have thought you were drunker than me on an average night. Besides, you act like sex is a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with enjoying physical passion, it feels damn good."

"I never said sex was a bad thing, you know I don't believe that," Emily put her hands in the air, "I just thought you weren't the relationship type."

"Well you know what they say, teamwork makes the dream work."

Steve shifted uncomfortably, Emily eyeing him.

They'd not go to that part of the relationship yet. Emily had tested the waters with touching, but Steve had given no indication of wanting to take things further. He hadn't explicitly said no, but he hadn't said yes either. Steve was also a little more conservative about talking about such matters; he always pursed his lips when Tony talked about his past debauchery. As far as Steve was concerned, relationships were between the couple that were involved and no one else.

Emily knew the 40s were a lot less liberal about sex and other things, but it wasn't like everyone was totally celibate. Steve had been in the army, the guys must have talked about sex, especially when they had their pin up girls. It wasn't like Steve was raised in a convent; he'd lived in working class Brooklyn all his life. When society wasn't involved, people must have played.

It didn't go unnoticed by Emily that Steve seemed withdrawn for the rest of the night. The rest of the group chalked it down to Steve being an introvert, but Emily knew her boyfriend. The comment had upset him.

She finally had a chance to talk to him when they were alone, driving home.

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"You know what."

Steve clenched his jaw as he gripped the steering wheel.

"Steve, we've been together for several months. Look, I get that you come from a different time where people didn't talk openly about these things, but people were still having sex in relationships. If you want to wait, then I don't mind. I am happy to wait until you are comfortable because I know that sex is a very intimate thing and people wait until they give it up. We're together for a reason and whilst it's nice kissing and holding hands, I would actually like to sleep with you. If you can just communicate to me how long it'll be, I'll shut up. It's not like I'll break up with you if we don't have sex, I'm not an asshole."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Steve, honey, I get that your first time is a scary thought but relationships are about intimacy. Sex is as intimate as you can get, at least physically. What Tony said freaked you out, I get it, but I'm not doing to break up with you if we don't have sex right now. Just talk to me."

"I come from a different time, Emily. Ok so people had sex back in the 40s and it wasn't all innocent. I was in the army, I saw guys coming back with prostitutes all of the time. Still, I was raised Catholic and believe me, girls weren't lining up to be with me. I want to wait; I believe that sex is between two people who are truly committed. Em, I never thought I'd find anyone in the 21st century but I met you. I wouldn't have taken that chance if I didn't 100% know that I had fallen deeply for you. Can we just forget it for now?"

"I don't want to badger you, but we need to be honest with one another if this is going to work. You don't have to give me a specific date and time, but I'd like to talk about where you're comfortable. Just at least let me know where you stand with touching certain parts etc, I'd like to know what you are happy to do and what you won't. If you don't absolutely ok it, I won't try."

Steve didn't reply.

Emily leaned her head back against the seat rest, pursing her lips. She had no idea where to go with this. She'd told herself that she'd wait until the time was right; she'd known he wasn't the type of guy who would have sex straight away. Emily wasn't shy about sex, but she also wasn't the type to jump into it straight away. She'd had a couple of one night stands, but not many. When it came to sex, Emily was pretty confident.

Steve wasn't and she was fine with that. She just wanted communication instead of a total shutdown. Maybe Emily was being too unfair on Steve, she had friends who'd wanted to wait, but there was only so much physical intimacy they could get from holding hands and kisses.

She just wanted to be with him, that was all. She wanted the physical passions; he was a work of art after all. In equal measures, she wanted to talk about her emotions and laugh with him. Intimacy wasn't just sex or emotion, it was both.

They didn't talk for the rest of the journey home. When they arrived in the parking lot, Emily decided to take her leave.

"You don't have to walk me to my door; I'll be fine from here. Thanks for driving me; I'll see you at work."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Knowing Steve wouldn't budge, Emily let him. Even though she insisted that she was a grown woman with a gun in a safe apartment complex, Steve always walked her to the door when he brought her home. Steve knew Emily was capable, of course, but he thought it was good manners and he wanted her to be safe nonetheless. Besides, Emily liked the feel of his bicep when they walked arm in arm.

They walked in silence to the door.

"We can't end the night like this."

Steve nodded in agreement.

"Well last time we weren't speaking, well when you weren't speaking to me, it was because you liked me and couldn't cope with telling me. When you told me you liked me, I told you it back. Somehow, I don't think that's going to happen again but the truth remains the same. Look, I don't want you to think I'm mad at you because you won't have sex with me. I don't want to be that person, you know? I won't ever get angry at you. All I want is communication."

"I understand," Steve laced their fingers together, "I just...I just don't know how I feel about it yet. We owe each other communication, that's all. I'm not sure Emily, I'm really not. I don't want to make things difficult for you."

"You're not Steve; I don't want you to think that."

"It's only fair that you are with someone who wants the same things as you."

Emily's face fell.

"Don't you dare break up with me."

"I'm not, don't worry," he assured Emily, who looked to be on the verge of tears at the thought, "But my point stands, we both have needs and wants and deserve to be with those who want the same things from a relationship. When I am ready, I'll tell you. I can't promise you that I know how long it's going to be, there's no way it's definitive. I want you to know that right now. It may not be the answer you want, but it's the only honest and fair answer I can give."

"Then I'll wait," Emily promised.

"Emily, you don't have to lie. It's ok if you're upset."

"Sex isn't the most important thing here, being with you is. Yes, I want to have sex with you and I wish that it would have happened already, but I want you more than that. I don't want to ever hurt you and most of all, I want you to be comfortable. Everyone deserves to be comfortable like this. I'd not have wanted my first time to be when my heart wasn't truly in it. I don't cheapen sex but I don't put every value on it. I enjoy it, but my first time was special to me and I am pleased to have good memories of it. I will wait as long as you want."

Steve smiled.

"Then we're good. Right now, we're good and I'm still with the best girl there is."

"Oh you smoothie," Emily wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck, "We'll take it one day at a time and just see where it takes us. Right now, I can just satisfy myself with kisses."

"That I can do," Steve pecked her nose.

"Oh you'll have to give me more than that."

"Yes ma'am," he grinned, and with that, they began to passionately kiss.

LIGHT ME UP-

Days later

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Steve sat reading as his stereo played softly in the background. He was working his way through books, TV, movies and music, starting with the major ones that everyone knew. Book wise, most suggested he look at high school reading lists before going onto stuff that looked appealing. Right now, he was reading 'Catch-22' by Joseph Heller.

He thought about what Emily had said to him, in fact, he couldn't stop thinking about it or her.

Steve was still waiting, that's what he told himself. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about the idea. Emily was gorgeous and he was physically attracted to her, he couldn't deny that. Her legs went on for miles, her hips were slender and her butt was perky. When Steve looked at her, he couldn't pull his eyes away. There was no problem with attraction, that was covered.

When Steve had thought about sex before, it scared him. No one had wanted him back then and he couldn't imagine it now. Years of Catholic Mass and tradition had taught him to wait. He watched his men bring back prostitutes in France and didn't care, as he did not believe in judging others for their life choices. What Steve wanted was to be intimate with someone he truly cared about, someone he imagined spending his life with. He was being picky about it, but it was his decision and he thought it fair.

That was when it hit him.

He did want to.

It wasn't a result of Emily saying she wanted sex, not at all. Steve had been scared to be intimate and he wasn't suddenly free of that, but it was about physical and emotional relations. He'd taught himself to stay back and that led into his shyness about intimacy. Sex still carried the weight it did in the 40s, even if birth control and other things decreased some of the risks. He was scared for his first time because it was his first time, not because it was sex.

Steve knew that it was Emily he wanted to be with. That was important to him- he may be ready for sex, but only if it was someone he truly wanted to be with. He thought he'd marry Peggy after the war and she would be his first, but that wasn't destined to be.

Emily, though, he had Emily. He adored her beyond measure and if they were to be together, then he felt ok with it being her. Beautiful, sweet Emily.

Then it occurred to him why he was ready to be with Emily. This had to be it.

He couldn't hide it though. Slamming his book shut, he shut off the stereo and ran to get his things. Tying his shoes and pulling on his jacket, he rushed out of his apartment and downstairs. He expected the neighbours would wonder why he was being so darn loud. Right now, however, he didn't care.

Hopping on his motorcycle, he sped through the city lights to get to Emily. When he arrived at her door, he took a deep breath and knocked.

On the other side, Emily was doing a Sudoku puzzle to keep her mind in shape. When she heard the knock, she rose from her comfy position lying on the couch and went bolt upright. She frowned- she wasn't expecting anybody at this time. Maybe it was her neighbour or one of her friends popping over for late night visit.

She didn't expect to see Steve on the other end of the peephole when she looked through it. Shrugging to herself, she opened it.

"Hi," she greeted with a smile, "Come on in."

Steve shuffled in, Emily locking the door behind him. Once he was in, she leaned up to give him a kiss. Though their conversation had been awkward before, they both got over it- it was just a slightly painful learning curve and they were still happy as can be.

"Hello beautiful, I hope I'm not intruding."

"I was just doing some mental exercises. What can I do for you darling?"

Steve looked her straight in the eye.

"I want to be with you."

Emily immediately understood.

"Steve, I don't want you doing this simply because of what I said last week. I can wait so much longer than this, I'm happy to do it when you're happy to do it. Don't rush it handsome, it's ok."

"No, I want to do this. I'm sure."

"Are you?"

"I want to do it because I love you."

Emily's mouth dropped open. Steve felt a huge weight off of his shoulders once he'd said it. He loved her, it was true. He loved her with all his heart and wanted to be with her. This was the woman who he wanted to be intimate with, the one stood in front of him. She had his heart and he was fine with that, because he loved her. He was ready to be physically intimate with her and had absolutely zero doubt about it.

"I love you," he managed to find his voice again; "I really, really love you. I'm not doing this because of any pressure. I'm doing it because I feel comfortable with you. You said everyone's first time should be special and I know that it will be, because it's with you. So yeah, I love you."

A huge smile broke out on Emily's face, dispelling Steve's fears about being too forward.

"I love you too," she told him, looking on the verge of joyous tears, "I love you."

Both beamed before Steve swept Emily up into his arms, passionately kissing her. It was more intimate than their usual kisses, both putting their lust and love into it. They both finally said it and it felt great. Steve's hands rubbed Emily's back, whilst her fingers ran through his hair.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes," he told her back, kissing her again, "Do you have protection?"

"Condoms in my side drawer, yeah, and I've both my birth control. We're prepared. Let's do this."

"Let's do this."

In one fell swoop, he picked Emily up. She let out a surprised noise but continued kissing him as he carried her into the bedroom, her legs hooked around his waist. Steve kicked the door close behind him as they started.

Hi all, hope you enjoyed this!

Next Time: It's a three year time jump to the future, where Steve and Emily are still a happy couple, living together and as serious as they can get. One mission, however, opens a dangerous box that will threaten everything around them.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think! Thanks again and I'll see you next time xxx