Author's note : Hello ! This chapter took some time to arrive, but here it is. I think this fanfiction is almost finished. Anyway, I'm still french so if you find any mistake, feel free to tell me. I hope you'll enjoy reading this new chapter of Magda and Bailik's life in space !
Bailik was back home, but things were not what they used to be. Magda had never seen Bailik like that, so desperate, beaten, broken. During this war, he had received his faire share of bruises, cuts and burns, and of course Magda was horrified to see him so wounded. But the wounds were nothing compared to the nightmares… He had seen horrible things, done things beyond even her imagination, and these things were haunting him… He would wake up with a start in the middle of the night, sweating, panting. He never wanted to talk about it. He even refused that Magda tried to comfort him. He said that all he needed at times like that was to be left alone, but Magda could see that it was not the entire truth. Saying these things aloud would just be worse, and he didn't want to burden Magda with them.
Magda tried her best to help him, but she didn't know what to do. All she could do was being there when he needed her, be joyous when he was, and try to soothe him when he became gloomy.
Bailik had lived through many battles. It was never easy, but so far he had managed to keep his mind in one piece. What was different this time was Mihail's death... A soldier's life usually ended badly. Bailik had seen many a casualty, even among people he considered like friends. But Mihail was more than that... A father and a brother at the same time, a mentor and a guide. He had been there since the beginning, always so caring, always watching after him. Always together, they had saved each other countless times…
There was a funeral, of course. The regiment was gathered to honour the dead one last time. Bailik joined the other soldiers, in stoic rows of full dress uniforms, while Magda had to stay behind with the other civilians. The ceremony was very solemn, conducted by priests and overseen by commissars. The priests' sermon was the only sound breaking a heavy, mournful silence. Magda couldn't help but let the tears flow while looking at Bailik's back, stiff and resigned among the row of other soldiers.
When it was over and the soldiers had begun to scatter, Magda went to see Bailik. A few other soldiers were still there too, needing some time to bid their farewell to their loved ones in a more private way. Magda gently put a hand on her husband's arm, the fine fabric of his full dress uniform soft under her touch.
"He died to save me…" Bailik said, unable to hide his emotion. "On the last day… Just before we got back to the shuttles, he… He pushed me and took the bullets in my place…"
He was not crying. He was stating the facts with a coldness in the voice. Magda froze, speechless. Bailik never told her anything about the war, it was the first time. She felt her heart miss a beat. If Mihail hadn't been there, Bailik would have…
"At least he won't have to fight anymore..." Bailik added. Magda nodded and put her head on his arm.
"Yes… He's with the Emperor now," she said, a sob in the throat. There was nothing else she could say.
The bodies of the dead were gathered by some navy workers and put in mortuary bags. Bailik grabbed Magda and took her in his arms, to hide her field of view.
"You might not want to see this," he said. "No graves for mere soldiers… They'll just be wandering in space forever…"
Without ceremony, the navy workers put the mortuary bags together in an airlock. This was not part of the ceremony and the priests were nowhere to be seen, but the soldiers still present could not hide their pain. Some made the aquilla sign or whispered a prayer when the navy workers activated the airlock. There was a pneumatic sound as the air and everything in the airlock was ejected into space, where the soldiers who had given their life for the Emperor and the Imperium would endlessy float.
With that, it was done. The soldiers still present left the bridge and went back to their occupation. Bailik took a deep breath, then managed to smile.
"It's over, I can finally move on," he said. "I have to, anyway. That's how we live, we lose people but we move on and fight another day... But for now, I'm glad to be home."
The guards would not be deployed again for some weeks, the time for the spaceship to reach its next destination. Bailik and Magda could finally be together again, and the young woman was very happy to have him back.
As time passed, Bailik was less gloomy and recovered his taste for life. He was now a father, and had to learn everything. At the beginning he was clumsy, not really knowing how to handle Pierre, but with the help of Magda, and sometimes Agnes, he got better at it. At first the toddler was scared of this man that he didn't know, but they soon became inseparable. Magda loved seeing her husband bonding with their son. She loved seeing the two of them playing and laughing. Bailik really needed it, after all that had happened. Pierre also needed this time with his father, and he was all smiles and joy.
Bailik had to do training and other military duties, but when he was home and Magda was working, he learned to take care of Pierre on his own. Magda would come back and see Bailik watching Pierre sleep, gently stroking his hair.
"I already fed and bathed him", he whispered, to not wake the toddler.
"Oh, you're getting good at this !" Magda said, whispering too. "I'm really glad that you two get along well."
"I wish I could have been here when he was born. I'm so sorry to have let you alone… It must have been hard…"
Magda made a grimace and came closer, putting a hand on his arm.
"You don't have to be sorry, I knew that it could happen when I agreed to come here with you. And I had help from Agnes and sister Clarice."
"It's a good thing they were here. But still, I wish I could have been here. I've missed so many things."
"You're here now, it's all that matters," she said. "And I have taken a lot of pictures !"
She went to one of their few pieces of furniture and took a box where she had put all the pictures she had taken when Bailik wasn't there. They sat together on the bed and spend a lot of time watching them. Bailik was happy to see everything he had missed. To see how small Pierre was when he was born, to see him grow between each black and white picture.
"You know, I'm really proud of you," he said, making her blush. "I know I put you in a difficult situation, away from your family, pregnant and alone in a spaceship… Every day on this damned planet I've prayed for you… And, thank the Emperor, you've done better than I could hope ! You even have a great job !"
"Yes, I'm so grateful to sister Clarice for this job," she said. "It's much better than my old job in the kitchen ! And I had more time to make everything alright for when you'd come back !"
Bailik smiled and kissed her on the forehead. For more than a year and a half, Magda had thought about him everyday, tried to make their small cabin agreeable for when he'd be back, and raised their child without losing hope that he'd come back. He was so glad to have found what was so rare amongst the guards, a family to love, to fight for, and to stay alive for.
Magda's work at the schola was very hard these days. Her pupils were the sons and daughters of spacefarers similar to herself. Munitorum workers, menials, scribes, low adepts, and of course, imperial guards. Some kids weren't as lucky as Pierre, and hadn't seen their parents come back from war…
It was a hardship that Magda, sister Clarice and miss Schreiber had to face together. They were doing their best to help these children, because no one else would. They were alone now, useless to the Munitorum and the Navy, probably destined to be abandoned in an orphanage on the next civilised planet that the ship would come across. Or maybe, if there was no orphanage near enough, these kids would become slaves, working in the engine rooms with the scum and mutants of the lowest decks…
Sister Clarice would not accept that.
"I declare that it is my sacred duty as a sister hospitaller to see that no such fate befall the children of the glorious soldiers who had given their very lives in service to the God-Emperor, for He would not suffer the children of His mighty warriors to be taken away from His sight and throwed to the mutants, impure and witches !" she paused to take a breath. "The Emperor protects everyone ! I would not be worthy of the sacred gown I am wearing and of the holy oaths I swore if I didn't take this matter in my hands. I'll make sure to find a new family for every one of these kids, among the workers of this bridge. They'll still be able to attend the schola, and they'll turn into devoted, faithful and loyal servants of the Emperor !"
Magda couldn't help but clap her hands, moved by sister Clarice's speech. The young sister took her role of helping the poor and sick very seriously. Magda was sure that Clarice would keep her word and do her best to help these kids.
During the following weeks, sometimes sister Clarice would announce the good news. She had found some people to adopt the kids. Some workers such as Agnes or Magda, or even some adepts. Every time this happened, the pupils and teachers would pray and thank the Emperor for His benevolence.
One day, when Magda got home from work, Bailik was already there, alone, waiting for her with a seductive smile.
"Where is Pierre ?" Magda asked, worried.
"Agnes took him for the night," Bailik answered, "so that we can be just the two of us."
Reassured about her son, Magda glady went in her husband's arms. How long has it been since the last time ? Even when Bailik had came back, they couldn't really do anything because of Pierre… Their cabin was too small…
She had missed Bailik so much, in more ways than she had thought. They really needed this time together, and so they proceeded to make up for lost time. Magda still loved very much her husband. After all this time, she still felt that they fitted together perfectly, as if they were cut for each other.
Bailik had gained his fair share of new scars in this war. Magda spent some time tracing them with her fingers, but did not ask anything. She could see how they were more recent than the old ones, from their color and the sensation under her finger. She could even see which ones he had received at the beginning of the war, and those he had got more recently, before he came back.
For the first time since Bailik's return, she wondered if he thought that she had changed a lot. She was so young when they married… She still was, but maybe the pregnancy had altered her more than she realised. She thought she had also kind of matured. She wasn't the silly girl Bailik had met anymore. She was a mother now, and she also worked with a lot of kids, she felt more adult now.
"You look thoughtful. You're ok ?" Bailik asked, the first one to break the comfortable silence between them after the embrace.
"Hum… yes," she said. "I'm just wondering if you find me changed…"
Bailik moved on his side, to face her. He stroke her cheek.
"You're as pretty as ever," he said, making her smile. "But... I feel like I can't really call you 'girlie' anymore… You look too old…"
The shocked face of Magda made him laugh. She straightened up and attacked him with a pillow, falsely offended. He fought back and had no difficulty to win this fight, which turned into cuddles, tickles and laughs.
"Stop ! I surrender !" she begged, laughing and struggling.
"What ? Already tired ? You really are getting old !"
He kissed her on the nose, then fell back in the bed. Magda shook her head in annoyance, but still came to rest in his arms. He sighed, amused.
"Don't ever tell your sister that I said you looked old," he said. "She'd sign my death warrant…"
"She would kick your ass so hard !" Magda said, giggling. She sighed and became more serious. "I can't tell her, though… I still don't know how to send her my letters…"
She had continued to write to her sister, but it was more out of habit, and the letters turned into some kind of diary… They were all stacked in a box, under the bed. She wanted to tell her so many things… She wanted to show her the pictures of Pierre… She wanted to know if everthing was alright at home, how everyone was going… But there was no way to send these letters. She didn't even know how many light years separated her small agri world and this spaceship…
"I'm sorry for that…" Bailik said, feeling guilty. Magda shook her head.
"Don't be. I knew it'd be hard… I knew it might be impossible."
"Yea…" he said. "That's a soldier's life… Away from everything and everyone…"
He remained silent for a while, resting on his back and looking at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts.
"I hope… I hope Pierre will never be a soldier," he finally said. "I hope we'll be able to offer him a better future, somehow…"
Magda was surprised to hear him speak like this. He had never once spoke against the Guard. He had even said that the Guard was his family, his home. But he was in the best position to know how hard a soldier's life was. How painful.
"I don't know, maybe he can be a scribe or something…" he continued.
"Yes. We'll find something…"
"I feel guilty, you know… It'd be better if you had raised him on your planet… With the sun, and the grass, and your family…"
"Don't say that !" she pouted. "I'm perfectly happy here, with you. And Pierre loves you ! If I'd stayed on my world, he'd have never known you…"
"Hum…" He sighed. "Yea, and I'm glad you came with me. I… I just want him to have a happy life, and a family too."
"As long as we're together, the three of us, we'll be happy," she said. And she meant it. But she knew how Bailik felt… She also didn't want their son to become a soldier. She also wanted him to live a long and happy life, with his loved ones. And she would do everything she could to allow it. She would work hard to earn some money. She would put Pierre at the schola when he was old enough. There was so many things he could do ! Bailik was right, Pierre could become a scribe if he wanted to ! An adept ! Or maybe, as they were on a spaceship, maybe he could become a navy worker. She would make sure that her son could become whoever he wanted !
Some weeks later, Magda was at the schola as usual when she felt sick. Sister Clarice examined her, and her verdict was beyond any doubt.
"You're pregnant again, Magda ! Congratulation !"
This came as a shock to Magda. It took her a moment to process the thought. She was pregnant again ! They were going to have another child ! When she finally realised, she got up and rejoice with sister Clarice.
"Bailik will be so happy !" she said, feeling the tears of joy forming in her eyes. "And Pierre too ! I wonder if it's gonna be a little sister or a little brother… Oh, and we'll need a bigger cabin !"
"This is great news ! Thank the Emperor for such a blessing ! I'm so happy for you !" Sister Clarice's joy was genuine. The two young women had really become friends over the time.
Magda hurried home to announce the good news to her husband, only to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, his face down.
"Bailik… What… What happened ?" she asked, feeling her euphory melt down. Bailik turned toward her, and the pain on his face felt like a stab in her heart.
"We've arrived…" he said, his voice heavy. All the joy Magda was feeling became agony... "I have to go again… I have to leave again…"