Chapter fifteen

Seeking answers

Nyx was rushing around the console, she couldn't figure where to start, but she had an idea. She never really travelled much on her own, but she knew she had to leave Torchwood behind for now. She made a promise to Owen, and she couldn't back down.

The TARDIS bumped into something, and with that Nyx flew face first into the console, her head knocked on the monitor, "Frick!" She rubbed her forehead seeing the time and place she was. "Lets see..." She rushed to the doors opening to see she was in both, the TARDIS blending in well with the hospital.

Nyx had never really been to New Earth, but then again she didn't really know what else to do, her eyes going around the place seeing a woman, part humanoid, but the facial details were of a cat. "Good morning." She held her hands together. "I am sister Jatt, how can I help you?"

"I have an inquiry," Nyx rocked on her feet, "See I have a friend, who is kinda dead..." She felt the nun look confused. "I mean he talks and is conscious, but dead."

Sister Jett felt confused, "He's dead?" She questioned the woman, "But he is conscious..." She felt lost. "My dear, the dead can not be conscious." Her voice was soft, but it was hard for her to be sure what she was hearing.

Nyx nodded, "Yes, I thought so too, but the thing is, something happened, and he's consciousness was put back into his corpse after he was killed." She held her hands out, "I heard this hospital could cure the incurable." She waved her hands in front of herself.

Sister Jett was more confused, "Yes we can cure the incurable, but we can not heal death." She sounded sad about it, "As death is final." Her eyes going over Nyx, "I am so sorry." She walked away from Nyx.

"Well that is a crap load of nothing..." She glanced around the hospital, she didn't really think she could find the answer here, but it was worth a try.

Walking out of the hospital she stopped for a second, she see a woman watching her, she was tall and thin with dark hair, but bright blue eyes. "Oh you're prettier than I remember..." She was grinning right at Nyx.

Stopping in her tracks Nyx felt lost, "I'm sorry..." She then froze, "No way!" Her hand covered her mouth. "Really?"

Missy walked over to the girl, "Finally opened the locket," She smiled looking over Nyx, "Like my new form?"

"You're a woman?" Nyx kept studying over her, "I mean," She felt lost. "That is a giant fuck you to the high archer..." She started to walk around taking in all that was Missy.

Missy kept still, "And what shall I call you, or are you still Natalie?" She was trying to keep a cool head. She knew something was off about her.

"Nyx," She replied quickly, "And I am assuming you're not still The Master."

She kept her face forward, she wasn't scared of Nyx, "Missy," She placed a hand to her hip, "Not as poetic as Nyx." She now watched the other woman stop in front of her. "But why on earth are you looking to cure death?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," Nyx crossed her arms, "Plus it's not like you can help me anyway." She went to leave, but stopped feeling Missy holding onto her arm.

"Owen Harper," Her words were a light breeze, but she knew it hit Nyx hard. "Poor things, must be a shame that he's stuck in a dead body." She shrugged, "I mean he's not decomposing, but he can't do anything really."

"Why do you care?" Nyx kept herself calm, but she didn't trust Missy, she could never trust her. "You threatened to kill him once."

"Yes, I did..." She was careful with her words, but then she was still trying to work out how she was trying to be good. "I thought why not give a fellow Time Lady a hand." She kept smiling.

Nyx exhaled, "Well I found no help here." She moved her arm out of Missy's grip, "So if you think you can help me, being that Gallifrey is time locked, and we can't pop into Wilkinson's and buy some new resurrection gauntlets to fix what Jack did."

"Sadly that would not help, and we both know it won't." She tried to think carefully now. "But you know the time line for these poor souls." Her hand went into Nyx's hair, it was shorter, but Missy was now circling her. "You can't change fixed points in time, and you know that."

"I can't change what is, but I can fix what I can." Nyx's eyes kept on Missy as much as she could. "I have to try."

"You know they die, and you know they will suffer. The 456 will make Jack suffer so greatly..." Missy's voice was haunting Nyx down to her very being.

Nyx closed her eyes trying to block it out, "I am not going to sit idly by when I can help." She knew that Missy was making the point she didn't want to accept. "I have to try."

Missy rolled her eyes, "I can't believe I am doing this," She stood in front of Nyx, holding her arms by her side staring into her grey eyes. "Fixed points in time and space can not be changed, you are young and very stupid to think you can do anything to change that."

"I have studied that time line, I have found a way to save Owen, I can find a way to save Ianto, and maybe if I have time for Tosh..." She felt her voice go quiet.

Missy went quiet too, her mind going over things, "Owen Harper, stuck inside a nuclear station, radiation flooding a room he is trapped in."

"I can intercept, get him out before the radiation can get him." Nyx felt smug with herself.

Missy nodded, "Yes, but he's still a walking talking," She laughed, "Dead body." She waved a hand, "And how do you plan to save poor Toshiko?" Her hand on her hip, "She gets very badly shot, dies in a pool of her own blood, talking to Owen."

Nyx held a hand up, "I..."

"They find her body you know, so scared, so fragile..." Missy waved her finger, "You know that you can't change that death." Her voice was trying to push a point into Nyx's mind.

"Shut up!" Nyx started to walk again, she didn't like the facts, but she couldn't bring herself to face facts.

Missy shook her head, "Poor, poor Jack having to hold onto Ianto as a poisonous gas kills Ianto Jones harshly." Her finger pointing around Nyx, "How are you going to save him, and then think Jack has to sacrifice his only grandchild..."

She didn't want to know that people she had grown to care about were going to die, and it wasn't a death she wanted them to have. "Just leave me alone!" Nyx had to get away from her.

Missy now started to catch up with Nyx, "What if, I help you, and you help me." Her voice alluring, and she knew Nyx wouldn't ignore her. "I can help you..."

Nyx stopped her momentum, "How can you help me?"

"I find a way to help you with your Torchwood problem, and you help me with my Doctor problem."

"I am not helping you hurt the Doctor!" Nyx pointed, "So I don't need your help." She started to walk away from Missy, she didn't know why she thought Missy would be changed, she kept moving forward.

Missy smirked, "Oh you silly girl," She didn't stop her now, but then she knew she was going to make The Doctor suffer, she just had to do it without Nyx's help.

Sitting on the floor of the library Nyx was bouncing a small ball against the wall and catching it as it flew back to her hand, she had read through everything she could think to help Owen.

ball wasn't helping her worried mind.

"Oh fucking," She got to her feet walking to the main control room, her hair was messy, and she was wearing a pair of shorts with a vest. She kept trying to think what she could do. "Oh..." She placed her arms onto the control board, she closed her eyes resting her face on the console. "Please help me..." She whispered feeling hopeless now.

Moving quickly from the console Nyx felt a movement, "You never did that before?" She question the TARDIS now starting to move, "I've never spoke to you before now..." Nyx bit the corner of her lip stepping away from the console feeling odd. "Well no harm in trying." She stepped to the console again, her fingers brushing the controls. "Help me find others who was brought back from death." Pointed, "Not Jack, I know his immortal."

Nyx fell feeling the TARDIS taking her someplace, she held on feeling excited not sure what to expect when the TARDIS landed. The door opened for her, and Nyx nodded her head. "Thank you..." She glanced to herself. "I might need to change first." She rushed off to her clothes room.

Pulling a face she glanced, "Can I," She stopped taking a plaid skirt and dark green shirt putting them on. Her hands running into her hair before pulling on her army boots running out of the TARDIS.

Ashildr watched as the TARDIS appeared, she titled her head to see that it wasn't what she thought it would be. She see the door open, and she waited for what seemed like a few minutes before a woman ran out.

"You're not The Doctor." Ashildr spoke softly, "But then you are..." She smirked, "Time Lady." She placed her hand out to touch Nyx's face.

Nyx felt odd, "And you are?" She asked, she glanced over the other woman, she appeared young, but in her eyes was wisdom that only came with being old. "Not Time Lady." She felt stupid.

"No, I am not..." Ashildr smiled to Nyx, her hands folded over her chest making sure she took her all on. "But I have a feeling you have a question for me."

"I'm Nyx by the way," She stepped forward, they were currently in a field, and all the trees were in bloom. "And I am looking for answers to a question."

"And I am Ashildr," She tilted her head, "So ask your question." She leant against one of the trees studying over Nyx's face.

Nyx knew the feeling in her gut, she felt it whenever she was around Jack, "You was brought back from death," She wasn't asking this, "And now you also are immortal." Nyx watched as Ashildr nodded, "How?"

"Yes I died, and The Doctor used Mire medical technology that brought me back." She sighed, "Now I am never going to die." She glanced over Nyx's face. "That makes you grieve."

Nyx exhaled, "It's a long story..."

"I have time," Ashildr held a hand out, "I have a small place we can talk." Her voice was calming, her eyes studying over Nyx carefully. "Don't worry, The Doctor has been and gone, enough to tell me about Jack." Her face broke into a wide grin.

Walking towards a small cottage Nyx could only watch Ashildr opened the door. "I'm guessing you don't get many people like me turn up." Nyx walked in seeing a fireplace, two arm chairs, and an open book on a table.

"Not many people like you," Ashildr sat down, her hand waving to the other chair. "Tell me your tale."

Nyx then went into telling her story, starting from the academy, to being in the war. It was hard to go over her time as Natalie Fisher, and when she finished with Gwen's wedding, she closed her eyes thinking of her life. "And now I am just trying to help."

"Owen Harper seems like quite the man," She brushed her hand to her lip. "Maybe you want to save him, because you have feelings."

Nyx coughed, "Me!" She laughed, "No, not that kind of feeling." Her eyes going around the cottage. "I'm guessing there isn't much you can do to help me." Her hands went to her lap trying to figure where to go next.

"You have such a tragic mission," Ashildr got to her feet, she stood in front of Nyx, "Maybe it's the fact that you don't want to accept that these people are not meant to last." Her fingers traced Nyx's face, then down her neck to her collarbone, "I can help you forget that."

Jumping to her feet Nyx was staring at Ashildr, "That is not what I was looking for." Her hand kept the other woman at arms length. "I'm going to go." She went to walk away feeling her hand being held. "I can't help you..."

"I don't need help," Ashildr kept hold of Nyx's hand, she was trying to keep her still for just enough time to get her face. "I want to remember your face, but I know I'll forget it soon enough."

"Keep a journal," Nyx shrugged, "It won't be perfect, but it will help." She kept still for a moment, her eyes going to both their hands. "I need to go now." Dropping Ashildr's hand.

Ashildr didn't hesitate as she pulled Nyx's face to her own giving her a kiss, they both stood still in the moment. Nyx pulled away slowly. "Did that help you?"

"Something to keep the memory alive," She now let Nyx go. "I hope you find answers." She watched as the other woman walked out the door leaving her behind.

It was starting to feel hopeless, Nyx opened the door to see herself looking out of another field, but there no trees. She knew something must be here to help as she brushed some of her hair back.

River Song loved this field, it was a sunny day that wasn't hot, just warm enough to feel the sun on her skin. Her eyes going over to the oddly shaped tree, with a soft smile she could see the woman standing beside it. "Hello..." She walked closer.

Nyx froze, "Hi." Her hand lifted up to wave, her hair was growing out of the bob she cut in, but she kept her attention on the other woman. "You're not surprised by me."

"I am a little," River wasn't sure what to think, but she knew it wasn't The Doctor. "River Song." She held her hand out for Nyx.

"Nyx," She took River's hand shaking it, "I am on a little bit of a fools errand." She tried to not let herself feel it, but it was now seven months, and she was no closer to finding an answer, jumping back and forward through time.

"Nothing is foolish," River stood beside Nyx now, her eyes looking forward, "But your TARDIS brought you to me for a reason." Her voice was cool in the warm air, and River wasn't too scared when it came to talking about what she had learnt from The Doctor. "But I have a feeling you are looking in all the right places, just not sure where the puzzle pieces fit."

"I thought I could find a way to save him, but I can save him, but he'll forever be a dead man." Nyx turned her head to see the confusion on River's face. "Owen Harper, was shot and killed, but Jack used a resurrection gauntlet to bring him back."

"They only revive a dead Time Lord, so they can start a regeneration cycle." River titled her head, "It's not meant to bring back anything more than two, maybe three minutes."

"But I am thinking with Jack's inability to die, maybe it's too mad to take in, I just wanted to give Owen life." She exhaled the feeling.

River let out a chuckle, "Travelling through time looking for an answer." River nodded, "I think it's never easy to let something go."

"I know," Her eyes moved across the field, "What did you do?"

River smiled, "I was conceived in a TARDIS."

"Oh wow," Nyx laughed, "Just..." She then tried to keep a straight face, "But I am trying to find people who cheated death."

River thought, "I didn't cheat death my dear," She took a deep breathe, "I gave up my regenerations to save The Doctor from death," She could tell Nyx was paying close attention. "I feel you're not willing to do that?"

"No," Nyx sighed, "I've never had the pleasure of regeneration yet." Her hand placed to her chest, "Still just the one heart." Her eyes going to River, "I guess you're not going to be able to help me." She closed her eyes trying to imagine this ever getting better.

River placed a hand to Nyx's shoulder, "This may sound scary, but maybe you should just accept the fact that there is nothing you can do."

"Someone told me I couldn't take out a fleet of Daleks with just one weapon, and I did it." Nyx stood to her full height, "I will find an answer!" She nodded going towards the tree that was her TARDIS. "Where are you off to next?"

River laughed, "I have an expedition of the Library." She could see Nyx standing in her TARDIS now. "You could come along, I can call you my personal assistant."

Nyx shrugged, "As fun as that sounds, I really need to find what I can to save Owen, Ianto and Tosh..."

"Fixed points in time can't be changed..." River spoke seriously for once.

Nyx rolled her eyes, "I am getting a little tired of hearing that." She closed the door with a loud snap.

River stood back watching the TARDIS vanish, and she sighed.

Laying on the floor of the main control room Nyx focused on the ceiling, her hands stretching out to see if she could touch it, but she knew she couldn't. Her mind was going blank, and she felt hopeless at this point. Her whole point of going around time and space was to find a way.

If Nyx heard 'Fixed point in time' one more time she was going to kill the person who said it to her, she was done with playing by the rules, she couldn't sit back and just let the cruelty of the world take her friends.

Rolling on her stomach now Nyx rested her head in her arms, she closed her eyes trying to push away the fact that she did care, she fell through the memories of Natalie Fisher's life, and she loved them all. The carefree life, the life that didn't involve pain. Nyx envied the life that wasn't even real, she could feel everything as if she felt it, because it was better than being herself.

War was not a thing Nyx wanted to think about, she wouldn't know if she was having a nightmare, or if the world she lived in now was the dream. Her head snapped up hearing something at the door, her hand grabbing a tool from her TARDIS maintenance kit.

The Eleventh Doctor knocked first, then opened the door to see Nyx lying on the floor, her hand snapped into her tool box before pointing a screwdriver at him. "I come in peace!" He held his hands up.

"How do you know?" Nyx got to her feet now, she couldn't understand what was going on. "I mean..."

"I have to admit I don't understand it," He walked closer to her, "But I'd never forget you..." He pointed out, "You changed your hair."

Nyx laughed, "I changed my name," She sighed, she didn't know the why and the how, but she was happy to see his face. "Nyx..."

"Goddess of Darkness and daughter of chaos..." Eleven tilted his head, "Kind of poetic, in a dark way." He reached out touching her cheek, he glanced over her in a pair of plaid pyjamas. "But I can't miss the trail you've been leaving through time, and space." He pointed to her face, "You're trying to find something."

"I just want them to be okay." Nyx felt herself getting chocked up, "They are good people, and I know fixed point in time." She wanted to cry, but couldn't show him her fear.

The Doctor smiled, he brushed a tear from her cheek, "I was meant to die," He pointed out, "And it was a fixed point in time." He waved over himself, "But I know that fixed point in time, it's a bit of a struggle." He clapped, "So I thought I would give you some loop holes." He pointed to Nyx's face. "First off Tosh, sadly we can't change her fate," He then rushed around Nyx's console, "Model ten five forty?" He pointed.

"Yea," She felt lost, "What are you doing?"

The Doctor was looking excited as he rushed about, "Owen Harper, sad story, but then in the nuclear plant, well there is no body found." He walked around the console. "No body..."

"Are you saying that there is a way to give Owen life again?" Nyx was stepping close to the Doctor.

The Doctor stopped moving, "Nyx, you understand Owen," He see her eyes, "You've fallen in love with him?" He stepped closer to her brushing a hand against her cheek holding her face. "Don't be ashamed to love." He stepped back from her.

"How can I love him, he's a idiot, he is mean, he can be so dumb..." Nyx shook her head, "I just want to fix what Jack did, but I don't want him to be gone."

The Doctor laughed again, "That my dear is love." He took the time to type something into the controls, "You have it, and you shouldn't be scared." He then pulled a lever, "What I am about to show you, will not be misused." He was serious now. "Because I am sure I will regret this later."