AN: I want to dedicate this chapter to my amazing beta, StrangeJenny, who took the time and had the patience to keep up this story. Thank you, sweetie.
Chapter 16
"Clarke?" Anya called. Reliving the events of last night had left her shaking, with her eyes glued to her bloody hands. She noticed how she still had Bellamy's blood everywhere. She wanted to take a shower, to wash it all away. Not only the blood, but the pain and the memories.
She lifted her eyes to the detective and gave her an empty look. "Now you know." A silence filled the room while Anya tried to find the right words, but there was only one thing to say to finally end her suffering.
"He is out of surgery and in recovery. He'll be okay."
Clarke's demeanour changed completely. Her eyes sparkled with hope and an honest smile appeared on her face. "Bellamy's alive?"
Anya smiled back at her. "He is. We also have Finn Collins in custody. He claims Bellamy attacked him for no reason and he acted in self-defence, but with your testimony we have everything we need to charge him with attempted murder and assault. He will go away for a long time. You'll have to go to court, but there is no doubt he will be found guilty." Clarke felt she could cry with happiness. Bellamy was alive and Finn was going to pay for everything he had done to them. "We'll talk again soon, but for now you can go. You're mother is waiting for you."
Clarke got up from her chair and walked to the door, but Anya stopped her before she exited the room. "Clarke." She turned. "Why did you tell me all of that?"
The girl smiled. "I've seen Bellamy being judged enough. I wasn't gonna let you arrest him just because it was easier to blame the poor kid."
"Thank you." Anya gave her a reassuring smile, before Clarke finally left the interrogation room.
Abby was in the waiting room, but she wasn't alone. Jasper, Monty, Harper, Miller and Jackson were also there. She stood there, watching them until Jasper took a step forward.
"I'm sorry, Clarke. For everything I've said and done." He said with tears in his eyes, probably fearing her reaction.
She took a few steps forward and hugged him. "It's okay. It's over now." They stood there, hugging each other for a while.
When they finally separated, Jasper wiped his tears and Clarke smiled at the others.
"Finn is going to be charged. He is not going anywhere soon."
"That's great sweetie." Abby said, giving her daughter a quick hug. "Let's go home."
As Clarke entered the hospital room she took in the scene of Bellamy's sleeping form on the bed, the beeping machines plugged into him and Octavia's tired face.
Clarke had gone home to shower and change, but then refused to get some sleep. She had to see him. Abby had driven her to hospital, explaining how she requested one of her closest friends to do the surgery, because she couldn't. She also explained to her daughter how she had demanded the best room and staff for Bellamy. "It's no special treatment, it's just... He has been through enough. He deserves some piece and quiet." That's why Clarke wasn't surprised to find him in a private room, away from all the commotion.
"Hey." Octavia greeted, smiling. "He's still out from the surgery."
"Yeah, my Mum said that he'll probably sleep for a few more hours."
"Oh, it's okay. He's out of danger and that's all that matters." Octavia held her brother's hand. "How did it go in the police station? It took you a while."
Clarke sighted. "It went fine. Detective Anya says they'll charge Finn for attempted murder and assault."
"Did he-" Octavia didn't manage to get the word out, so just made a movement with her hand.
"No, he didn't have time."
"Are you okay?" Octavia asked, staring at her friend.
Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you think I could have some alone time with him?"
"Oh, sure. I should go home and change. Maybe sleep a little bit." Her friend said, getting up.
"I won't stay long." Clarke warned. Octavia, who was already looking for her purse, turned in confusion. "I- I just needed to see him."
"Clarke, what are you-"
"I'll call Murphy when I'm done. Don't worry." She didn't want to explain. She didn't want to say that she was broken, that she didn't know how to be Bellamy's girlfriend any more. She didn't want to tell her friend how she was done messing up their lives, how she knew she was the reason these things kept happening to them. She just wanted to hold his hand for a few minutes, whisper to him how she would always love him and say goodbye in private.
Octavia hesitated for a second and Clarke ignored her curious stare. "Don't do anything stupid, Clarke." She then left with uncertain steps.
Clarke sat on the chair next to the bed and reluctantly held his hand. It always fascinated her how her hands felt in his: small, paler. When Bellamy held her hand, it seemed nothing in the world could hurt her. And the truth was he did the impossible to make sure that was true. Since day one, Bellamy did his best to protect her from Finn, from Gina, from her mother. He made sure she felt loved and cared for, something that hadn't happened since her father had died.
"Hey." She whispered, knowing he couldn't hear her, but having to say something. "I was talking to the police. Finn was arrested and he'll pay for what he did to you." She started running her thumb against his skin. "I'm so sorry, Bell. I walked into your life like a hurricane and destroyed it. I want to be selfish and keep you all to myself, but I won't. I'm keeping my promise and staying away from you. I'm done messing with your life. I got a letter from Harvard and will be moving there as soon as I can. You won't ever have to see me again." She wiped the tears that were running down her face. "You are the kindest soul I've ever met and you'll get the life you deserve. I'll always be cheering for you. Thank you for everything." She reached forward and placed her lips on his. "I love you." Clarke whispered one last time, before she let go off him and left the hospital room without looking back.
The next weeks resembled the period after her father's death. Clarke locked herself in her room and turned her phone off, refusing to talk to anyone that wasn't her mother. At school, she began hiding herself in the bathrooms between classes or at lunch. Abby always made a face whenever one of her friends came over and she had to tell them that Clarke wasn't up to visitors, but kept doing it as per her daughter's request.
The week after Bellamy was discharged from the hospital was the worst. He kept knocking on her door, screaming for her to open it and begging for them to talk. He would tell her how much he loved her and ask her why was she doing this. Sometimes, she would sit against the door, just listening to his voice, but most of the time, she would just put on her headphones and turn the music as loud as she could. He would also try and sit at the front door, waiting for her to come back from school, but Clarke wouldn't return. She drove around Arkadia without a destination, avoiding returning to her house and confronting her ex-boyfriend.
Eventually, he stopped and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother had told her he had returned to his house, trying to give her some space, but Clarke still had to dodge Octavia. Her friend couldn't just leave as the social services' visits were frequent, but she did spend a lot of her time with her brother. According to Abby, Octavia was furious with Clarke's behaviour and couldn't understand why she had cut all the ties with them.
A knock on her door pulled her away from her thoughts. She had been browsing on her computer, debating if she should just buy plane tickets to New York and stay with her grandparents until college began. School had ended a week ago and Clarke had skipped prom and the graduation ceremony much to Abby's dismay. Jackson has sent her an e-mail claiming he had tried to reach her several times and that was his last resort. He claimed the group had also refused to those things without her and that they all missed prom and graduation too. Clarke cried her eyes out, but didn't reply.
"It's me. I'm alone." Fearing her mother or anyone else would enter her room without permission, Clarke had taken away all keys. So, she got up and unlocked the door, allowing her mother to get in. She was holding a big wrapped box and placed it on the bed. "Are you going travelling?" Abby asked, noticing the tabs on the computer.
"I'm thinking about going to New York and to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa before going to college." Clarke explained, closing the computer.
"You're running away." Abby stated.
"No, I'm going to college and visiting my grandparents."
Abby sighed. "Look, Clarke, I've been very understanding these last few weeks. I know you've gone through a lot and you needed a break, but this is getting ridiculous." Clarke opened her mouth to protest, but her mother lifted her hand, signalling she wasn't finished. "I'm not gonna fight you any more. I'm tired of fighting with you. What I'm going to tell you is that you have a chance. You can wallow in sorrow and lose the man you love or you can face life and own your choices." Her eyes fell on a picture that Clarke had from her father and smiled. "I want you to actually live, Clarke. I tried to control you, make you have my life, but I see how that's not what you were meant for. I want you to live your life, doing what you love, with who you love by your side." She placed a hand on the box. "I got this for you. It's a late graduation gift. When you're ready we'll meet you downstairs."
"What do you mean by we?" But Abby left without another word. Clarke watched the box on the bed, waiting for it to explode or start moving, but eventually sighed and tore the paper off.
It was a brand new camera, much better than the one she normally used, but what is on the bottom of the box is what grabbed her attention. At first it looked like old rags, but after she pulled it out, Clarke realized it was her father's green backpack, the one he used to carry everywhere with his own camera and filming material. She remembered being just a child and thinking her father was the coolest adult whenever he wore it. Clarke wondered what had happened to it after his death and presumed her mother had tossed it out, but apparently Abby had kept a hold on to it all these years.
Grasping the fabric, Clarke wondered how her father would react to her behaviour over the last few weeks. He would have been so disappointed with her cowardice, probably because would've loved Bellamy. He would've told her how the choices we make sometimes take unexpected turns, but we have to be the ones brave enough to make something good out of it. We can't control life, but we can control how we react to it.
She looked around her room. A few months ago it had been decorated with her work – pictures she had taken of landscapes, flowers, animals, strangers, but now it was filled with memories, frames of happiness and love, moments she wanted to remember forever. Why was she running away from this?
Deciding that she was done with hiding and running away, Clarke got up, still holding the backpack, and made her way down the stairs. She was hoping to find her mother on the sofa, but the living room was empty. She noticed the front door was open, and taking a deep breath, Clarke walked out. Nothing in the world prepared her for what she saw.
A gigantic and modern RV was parked in the driveway like it always belonged there. All of her friends, Bellamy and her mother were there.
"She lives!" Murphy, the first one to notice her, said, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. Clarke rolled her eyes as the others turned in her direction. No one dared to make a move, waiting for her to do something, but as it became evident she wouldn't say anything, Bellamy took a step in her direction.
"Hey you." He was thinner than the last time she saw him, but he was still her Bellamy.
"What is this?" She asked in return.
"I sold my house and had a mid-life crisis." Bellamy said with a smile.
"And you bought a trailer?!"
"No, I bought us a trailer." Clarke stared at him in shock. Taking advantage of her surprise, Bellamy took a step forward. "Clarke, all my life I had thousands of responsibilities. My days were planned to the second: taking care of Octavia, taking care of the house, go to school, go to work, but now... Now, I've graduated and my sister has someone wonderful who is willing to take care of her. So, I need a break. I don't want to just jump into college and new obligations. I want to enjoy life for a little while and I don't want to do it alone." He took a deep breath. "Ever since you came into my life, things have been a mess. I actually had one of the worst years of my life, but I had you by my side and that was enough to fight everything. I don't care you told Kane, I don't care about Finn, I don't care about any of that. If I have you, it was all worth it." She opened her mouth to argue, but he was faster. "I love you, more than I thought I could love anyone, and there is no one I would rather have this adventure with."
"I- I have Harvard and-"
"Oh, screw Harvard." Abby exclaimed, surprising all of them. "You've done everything you were expected to do, honey. Why don't you just do something you want to do for a change?" Clarke studied her mother's words while looking around the gang.
"I can't put into words how much you all mean to me." She finally said. "When I went to that stupid party at Roma's, I could never imagine how my life would change. And, even with everything that happened, I would do it all over again. I found the most amazing best friends." Raven and Octavia beamed at her. "I finally felt accepted by someone. I found the family I desperately needed. I even got my self an annoying big brother." Murphy gave her thumbs up, while Monty tried to calm Jasper who had dissolved into tears. "What I did to you guys, it wasn't right, especially after everything you've done for me. I don't think I can ever stop blaming myself for it."
"You want forgiveness? Fine, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven." Bellamy voice had a desperate tone she couldn't shake off and it made her insides stir.
"See? Forgiven. Now, can you please stop pretending you don't want to travel the world with my brother?" Octavia asked, rolling her eyes.
Clarke smirked. "We can't go to Europe in an RV."
Bellamy's frown was quickly replaced with a smile. "We'll sell the RV and buy plane tickets."
She took a step in his direction. "What will we do for a living?"
"You can sell you paintings and I can take off my clothes to a bunch of horny forty years old."
She laughed. Another step. "I'll want to marry you someday."
"We'll do it by the Nile." Another step. "I want kids."
"I'll be a horrible pregnant woman. The hormones will get the best of me." Another step.
"I don't care. I love you." Another step. And another. And another.
"I'll get old and wrinkly."
"I'm looking forward to it."
They finally stood in front of each other, having a staring contest, but with a smile on their faces.
"Do I have time to pack?"
"Ten minutes. Can I kiss you now?"
"Remember the first time I slept at your place? When we talked in the kitchen?" He furrowed his brows, confused at the change in the conversation. "I promised myself I would tell you something someday and I believe I never got the chance." Bellamy waited patiently for her to continue. "You are most extraordinary person I've ever met." With that, she closed the distance between them, grabbing his neck with both hands and bringing his face down, finally pressing their lips together.
If anyone had asked her months ago, what she was expecting to do after graduation, Clarke would've said she would be going to medical school. She would've probably included Finn and Gina in those plans. But now, she didn't have any plans. She was going to get into that RV with the man she loved and wouldn't look back.
Life is funny that way. One day, you are a perfect know-it-all, relying on your mother's decisions for your future and being surrounded by horrible people. And then, one day, you take a wrong turn and find yourself in a different part of town, with the love of your life by your side, an amazing squad cheering you on and following your dreams.
Hey nerds,
Here it is. The final chapter. I still have the epilogue to post, maybe a little before midnight so we can go into 2020 with a bang?
I've been asked about the mature scenes on this fanfiction. The truth is always put my fanfictions as mature because the website demands it as I talk about strong themes as rape, depression, suicide and others. I still don't feel confident enough to write the smut because I actually don't now where to start it. I have some drafts for my new FF and I hope to include more of it for you guys.
Happy New Year everyone.
Love,
Jane