The wedding of Joffery and Margaery was as spectacular an affair as was to be expected. It was a royal wedding and thus made the ceremony between Sansa and Tyrion pale in comparison.
Sansa was dressed by Shae that morning. The Stark girl had noticed that Shae had been a bit more...touchy with her as the days wore on. However this was a bit less...subtle than that.
"Shae...are you...?" Sansa said.
"You've finally noticed. I've been trying to get your attention." Shae said.
"Why did you not just simply tell me that you...of your intentions towards me." Sansa asked.
"You've been hanging out far too much with Lord Tyrion, your turning into a boy. Women should be a little more insightful than that. You should have known I wanted you from the moment I saw you with our soon to be queen." Shae said, whispering in Sansa's ear. Sansa shuddered.
"After the wedding, you can rely on me to ease your worries. Handmaidens often are taken on for that responsibility, and I am more than willing." Shae said, and she planted a few kisses on Sansa's long neck.
"I...I.." Sansa said.
"It's ok if this is a little sudden. I can wait, just know that my legs will always be open for you my lady." Shae said. Then she put on the finishing touches.
"There. You look beautiful. Every eye will be on you." Shae said. Then she curtsied and walked out of the door to give Sansa a few minutes alone.
Sansa stared in the mirror. She didn't know what to think about this turn of events. Her heart raced and she felt strongly aroused, that was for certain. Otherwise her mind felt like a whirlwind.
"You still humoring the Stark Girl?" Bron said, fiddling with his dagger as Tyrion got himself presentable. He had fallen asleep pouring over Littlefinger's books. The man was crafty, but it was clear he had left the kingdom in quite a lot of debt. Tyrion was going to have to do something about that nuisance of a man sooner or later.
"Humoring? I have no idea what you mean." Tyrion said.
"You're letting her think she has some possibility of a happy ending. Where she can bed with girls from now until the end of time and never have to get a cock stuck in her. World doesn't work that way." Bronn said.
"How would you feel if you had to get a cock stuck in you?" Tyrion said.
"Not very good, but it's better than death, and I'd rather do it somewhat willing then have a dwarf insert it in me by force." Bronn said.
"I'm not going to rape her." Tyrion said.
"I know that. But you also can't delay for too much longer. If neither you nor Sansa are any use to your father then the both of you will be killed. Maybe by way of a convenient accident. There's no kinslaying then to sully your fathers hands." Bronn said.
"Just you let me worry about that. All you have to do is use your sword how I tell you, and you'll keep getting paid." Tyrion said.
"Aye then." Bronn said and the two made their way out of Tyrion's master of coin quarters.
Tyrion headed back to his quarters, having Bron remain outside with Sansa's handmaidens. It felt strange not to acknowledge Shae. One of the petty indignities of his life. Not a terrible tragedy, but a kernel of pain that stuck in his throat and cause him discomfort.
No matter, wine would help. And the wedding of his awful nephew would have plenty of wine.
"Sansa, are you ready?" Tyrion said.
"Yes. I'll be right out." Sansa said.
She emerged from her room, her dress once again white and silver to indicate her Stark Heritage, her claim to Winterfell.
But Tyrion cared little of her claim to Winterfell. He had other things on his mind.
"Lady Sansa, you are a vision." Tyrion said.
"Thank you Lord Tyrion. You look handsome as well." Sansa said.
"You flatter me. There's no reason to do so. I'm your lord husband. I should think you could be honest with me in all things." Tyrion said.
"I am being honest. You cut a figure my lord, even being a dwarf." Sansa said. She was being sincere in her compliment, Tyrion could tell. He could also tell she meant nothing romantic about it. His feelings were entirely mixed about this.
"Thank you." Tyrion said. He could only accept the compliment with as much grace as he could.
Tyrion and Sansa left for the wedding, their retinue consisting of Bronn and Sansa's handmaidens following behind. Sansa and Tyrion both felt off about Shae's presence, but for different reasons.
Joffery's wedding was a considerable step up from Sansa and Tyrion's. However, it wasn't as grand of an affair as Sansa would have imagined the wedding of a king would be. No doubt that was because of the costs of war. Even the Lannisters, it seemed, would need to tighten their belts after a war with four other claimants. The dancing bear, for instance, was old and quite unimpressive, staggering about almost clumsily to minstrels pipping.
Joffery sat at the place of honor at the dais, with Margaery at his side. He looked quite bored but a wicked smile crossed his lips when he saw Sansa and Tyrion approaching. Sansa withheld a shudder. She could only imagine what cruelties were running through his twisted skill.
But when Sansa's eyes strayed to Margaery, she was giving her a friendly, reassuring smile. It emboldened her. Whatever this day would bring, Sansa could brave it. It was Margaery that was getting married to the monster, and she could brave it.
Oberyn Martell was in attendance, him and his as far away from the Tyrells as possible. The Dornish and the Reacherman having a long and storied rivalry. And yet, Sansa and Tyrion now stood together after terrible Lannister and Stark war. Perhaps there would even be a future where those rivals were reconciled. Sansa hoped so.
Sansa sensed many eyes on her. Jealous eyes, lustful eyes, eyes full of hatred or calculation. She'd been under considerable scrutiny since she arrived at court. However, this was once again making her nervous. She didn't want to be the source of much attention, not today.
"Don't mind them my lady. They'll have other things to worry about soon, I suspect." Tyrion whispered. Sansa nodded slightly, to show her understanding.
Tyrion and Sansa made it to their seats unhindered. And indeed Tyrion's words were proven right. Once she did sit down, she was mostly ignored. She did, however, take note of several sly glances Margaery shot her. Sansa couldn't help to smile to herself for just a moment. Margaery really was taken with her. It made her heart flutter and excited her.
If her plan worked out today, Sansa would be able to have Margaery.
Sansa had to avoid staring at Margaery, however, as well as some of the other female beauties in attendance. Including Leonette Tyrell, who was married to Garlan, one of Margaery's brothers. She had taught Sansa how to play the high harp. Sansa always had an admiration for Leonette, but it was not until she had realized her attraction to women that she had realized how deep that admiration went. Leonette had such long pretty fingers, excellent at playing such elegant instrument as the high harp. Now Sansa wanted her fingers to be put to a different use.
Sansa snapped out of her daydream. Thankfully not much had happened. Mostly Tyrion was fixated on securing himself some wine. That was one of his foremost weaknesses, Sansa reckoned, she'd have to keep an eye on that. Make sure he kept it under control. His other weakness, women, she couldn't stand to be as judgemental, as she shared it. And unfortunately, if she was caught it would be much more of a liability to her then it would be for Tyrion.
Still, that wasn't an excuse. She'd have to be careful about that vice as well. Securing Margaery, might just help with that.
"Keep your composure and your head down, and we should both make it through this wedding unscathed." Tyrion said.
"Yes. I understand." Sansa said.
Shortly after that, Cersei Lannister sashayed her way over to where her brother and his wife were seated.
"Welcome to the royal wedding Lady Sansa, Tyrion. You look radiant as ever." Cersei said. She was playing the high queen now. It had been ages til Sansa learned that was all an act.
"Why thank you, dear sister, you're looking lovely as well." Tyrion said.
"I wasn't referring to you brother. I was referring to your lady wife." Cersei said.
Those compliments would have gone down better with a younger more naive Sansa. She remembered how she would blush and spend much the day thinking about Cersei's compliments. It was so obvious why now. One of the most beautiful women in Westeros was paying her compliments.
She was more mature now. And while Cersei was still beautiful, Sansa had seen her true face. Still, a bird had to sing her songs.
"Thank you so much Lady Cersei." Sansa said, allowing her head to fall as if she was embarrassed by the compliment.
"Still bashful I see. Your husband doesn't pay you such compliments in bed?" Cersei said.
"Please sister. You are causing her discomfort. Let's move onto a safer topic." Tyrion said.
"He does compliment me well, in bed as in elsewhere." Sansa said.
"I...see. Well then, I just wanted to pay you my compliments. And to inform you that if you disrupt my son's wedding there is not a force on earth that will stop me from exacting my revenge upon you." Cersei said. Then she walked away.
"Sorry about my bitch of a sister. I don't know where she gets it from considering how charming the rest of us are." Tyrion said and took a sip of wine.
"Don't be. She has a fantastic arse so I have two reasons to be grateful when she walks away." Sansa said.
"Ha. That's good. I'm glad I can be a corrupting influence on you. I feel it adds to the strength of our marriage." Tyrion said.
"I feel the same." Sansa said.
With that, the festivities began in earnest. Music, an unimpressive old dancing bear, jugglers and knife throwers. It climaxed though with the arrival of the dwarves.
Sansa could see Tyrion's entire body tense up in anger. The dwarves were to reenact the war of the Five Kings, which was all but over, at least in the minds of Joffery and most of the population of King's Landing, in truth Stannis yet lived and the Greyjoys had yet to bend the knee. The fact that all this happened while people still fought and died in a war, while people suffered the effects of the war, it seemed obscene to Sansa.
There was no balance to this song.
But her husband was next to her. Tyrion Lannister. Looking like he had just been struck across the face. Indeed that is what had happened. This was a blow, an attack by Joffery onto Tyrion. It had all his markings. A cruel little prank to toy with Tyrion's emotions. Make him look like a fool.
Tyrion didn't choose to be born a dwarf. No one did. And yet dwarves were expected to dress in motley and caper for the amusement of others. Tyrion was shunned, by society and by his family. And, while he had his bitter feelings, it had made him on the whole more kind. More understanding.
Sansa hadn't chosen her lusts either. What would they do to her if they found out? There were rumors about Loras, she had learned, but that wasn't proof. If they proved it, beyond the shadow of a doubt...she knew it wouldn't be good, but what was the penalty?
Tyrion would know, or have a book. Later she'd have to ask him.
"It'll be fine. Keep your composure and keep your head down. We can get through this." Sansa said. Tyrion gave Sansa a grin but his eyes were still angry.
"I thank you, my lady, for helping to better me in all things." Tyrion said, but his eyes darted over to Joffery, who was laughing. Gods, she couldn't believe she had a crush on him. Tyrion wanted to go over there and slap Joffrey, Sansa knew that. She felt that herself. But that was not laying low.
"Tyrion, stay here with me, alright? You don't need to do anything. It's what he wants." Sansa said in a whisper.
"Don't you know Sansa. Joffery gets everything he wants." Tyrion said. But he didn't move, except to grab his cup.
Shortly thereafter it was time for the Pidgeon pie. Joffery headed with Margaery to cut it, he looked in an oddly ill mood, perhaps because the dwarves had failed to get his desired reaction from Tyrion.
A server brought out the pie and gave portions to Sansa and Tyrion. He covered it with lemon cream. Neither Sansa nor Tyrion were particularly hungry. Joffery had cut the pie with Margaery. Ilyn Payne had been there with his new great sword. It reminded Sansa of Ice, her father's sword and this spectacle seemed so obscene that Sansa would rather vomit than to take one bite.
Tyrion was still greatly upset himself. So he didn't touch the pie either.
Joffery made his way over to where his Uncle was sitting, his goblet in his hand, Margaery following after him. Joff took his goblet and poured the wine directly on Tyrion's head.
"Look what you've made me do Uncle. I've spilled all over the place cause of you." Joffery said, letting his chalice fall to the ground.
"Pick it up, and refill it." Joffery said. Tyrion bent over to get it and Joffery kicked it a little further. Shaking, Tyrion grabbed the chalice, filled it up and began to hand it over to Joff. Joff yanked the goblet from Tyrion's hands and drank long and deep.
"My lord, we should return to our places. Lord Buckler wants to toast us." Margaery said.
"My uncle hasn't eaten his pigeon pie." Joffery said, holding his cup one-handed as he jammed his fingers in Tyrion's pie.
"It's ill luck not to eat the pie." Joffery said as he filled his mouth with hot spiced pidgeon.
"See it's good." Joffery coughed. Sansa very much wished that he would choke. Die with pidgeon caught in his throat. An inglorious and painful death for all the suffering he caused.
But she didn't think this thought for long, because very soon a scream rang through the air. A female scream.
It was Cersei who was clutching onto her father's body, screaming.
"Assains! Someone killed my father! Someone killed Lord Tywin!" Cersei yelled.
The rest was chaos.