Wow, it feels like forever since I wrote anything, let alone something Dawsey related. My life has been at warp speed lately, and I finally decided to settle down and do something that use to bring me so much happiness. The truth is, writing Dawsey fanfiction, watching Chicago Fire; it was an escape for me when I was at my lowest. It helped me feel happy when I was deep in depression. It felt good to sit down over the past couple of days and write and watch what was my favorite show with a new happier perspective. I'm doing this because it makes me happy, not because I need to escape my life.

I hope to keep this drive in me and continue to update this, as well as YGIABG... That is if you all will still have me? I'm sure I have lost a lot of readers over this very long hiatus, so please let me know if you are still with me.

I've missed ya'll, and I have missed this couple.

Hermann

The waiting room was deadly silent. The 51 family had been here for well over 24 hours at this point and we were all dead tired. Matt was out of surgery, but had yet to wake up; we'd all rotated in and out of the room over the past 4 hours always ensuring he and Gabby both were not alone. Gabby had yet to see him after wearing herself out to the point of exhaustion. She was finally asleep in her room and no one had the heart to wake her up, even if it was with fairly good news.

The issue was that even though Casey was out of surgery the doctor's message to us was grim.

"These next 48 hours are critical. When and if Matt wakes up, he has a long road ahead of him. He was down for some time; we don't yet know the affects this could have."

We were all still reeling from that message along with Gabby's prognoses. Placenta previa. I hadn't heard those words since Cindy and I's fourth child was born. I knew the implications of this diagnoses better than most, and I knew how scared Dawson must be.

Gabby Dawson was one of the strongest people I knew. She was all sass and smiles. She had a tough exterior, in our line of work you had to, but there was nothing that prepared you for this and I knew even Dawson's tough skin could not push this diagnosis away.

I looked up as Antonio came into the room. He had been circling back and forth between speaking to his superiors about what happened to Casey and moving between Gabby and Matt's room to check on them. I could see how distraught he was. How he was blaming himself for this whole situation, and I knew at this point in time there was not a whole lot I could say to change his mind or make him feel better. I had a feeling he would be carrying this weight until both Gabby and Matt were released from this place.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Sylvie walked in. "Gabby is awake."

Dawson

I wasn't sure how long I slept, but I woke up with only one thing on my mind.

Matt.

Was he awake? Was he alive?

I had fallen asleep after talking with Kelly and last I had known Matt was still in surgery fighting for his life.

My mind was everywhere right now. Between Matt being in surgery and finding out about my condition I was barely holding on. Everything that could possibly be going wrong in our lives seemed to be doing so. I was trying to stay hopeful, to be positive, but life was hitting me and hitting me hard and there was only so much positivity I could get from all of this.

Severide walked back into the room with Antonio trailing behind him, both men pulling me from my thoughts.

"How's Matt?" I question immediately.

Antonio bobs his head, "Out of surgery. He's alive."

I take no comfort knowing his words were chosen carefully. He's alive. Not. He's okay, he's awake.

"I want to see him." I say immediately, practically throwing the blankets off of me. Severide steps forwards immediately pausing me.

"Gabs hold on. Let me get your doctor, we will get you to him, just take a breath."

"Kelly I want to see him." I say firmly meeting his eyes.

Kelly stops, looking down at me and shakes his head. I knew what he was saying without saying it. Matt was in bad shape, something I may not want to see. My eyes water immediately. "Please."

Kelly deflates and finally nods his head before covering me back up. "Let me at least go get the doctor first?"

I nod and watch as Kelly leaves the room, leaving Antonio and I alone for the first time.

"Gabby..."

"Don't." I cut him off before he can even begin. My anger at this whole situation hitting its high as I wait to see Matt. "Please tell me how you thought getting Casey tied up in this was a good idea? How you thought getting your pregnant sisters fiancé tied up with police business at a strip club non-the-less was a good idea?" I force out, my anger radiating through my words.

"Are you two back together?" Antonio asks shocked, and it's only then I realize my slip of tongue. Fiancé. Matt was not my fiancé, Matt was not my boyfriend, Matt was nothing more than the father of this baby. That realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I force myself to shake it off as I look at Antonio with fire in my eyes.

"No." I say quietly, "You and I both know either way, that is beside the point."

Antonio shakes his head. "It wasn't planned Gabby it just happened. We had been looking into this club for a while for human trafficking. It just so happened Matt picked up a job there doing an expansion for them." Antonio sighs, and I listen intently, for the first time seeing how this is weighing on him. "Matt turned the expansion down originally; he didn't want to work there. And I fought it with Voight, I really did, but it got to a point where I was faced with a choice, either I could bring this to Casey or Voight would... and we both know if Voight did Casey would have told him where to shove it... threats would have been made and it would have gotten messy."

Antonio pauses finally meeting my eyes, "So I did it, I brought this to Casey and convinced him it would be nothing more than taking the expansion job and wearing a wire, but it turned in to more... quickly."

Antonio comes to sit in the chair by my bed and I can't help but look away from his pleading eyes. "Gabs you got to know, Matt fought me tooth and nail on this. And when it started to look bad, he told me he wanted out." I finally look at Antonio, tears welling in both of our eyes. "All he cared about at the end of the day was getting back to you and to Jesse and making sure you were safe from all of it. Gabs I am so, so sorry. I never thought this would happen. I never thought..." Antonio chokes on his words finally letting the emotions of the day get to him. I reach over, squeezing his hand and struggle to slow down my own tears.

"Antonio I can't..." I stop as Kelly walks into the room, the doctor trailing behind. I let go of Antonio and hastily wipe away my tears, taking a much-needed deep breath.

"I can come back." Dr. Jenson says softly, not wanting to intrude.

"No please," I couldn't wait any longer to go see Matt, Antonio and this conversation could wait. "I need to see Matt... please." I say softly, I'm pretty sure at this point I would have signed any paper I had to to get out of the bed and see Casey.

Dr. Jenson smiles softly and walks out of the room confusing me, but she is back in the doorway a second later, rolling a wheel chair in front of her. "I've got a few rules." She interjects first. Normally I would fight like hell about having to ride in a wheel chair, but I had no fight in me. All I needed was to see Matt, alive.

"One, you will ride in this wheelchair, no ifs-ands-or-buts about it. Two, you have an hour, then I want you back in this bed on bed rest the rest of the night. You have an evaluation tomorrow and I need you healed, rested, and at your best so we can get you home. And lastly, I need you to breathe..." She trails off and I give her a questioning look. "Gabby you need to keep your heart rate and blood pressure down. You and I both know neither of those things getting high are good for your condition. I need you to press the call button if you are getting even slightly overwhelmed... I know that everything going on here today is not easy, and I don't expect you to be cool as a cucumber right now... but I need you to do your best. You got me?"

I nod slowly, taking a deep breath. Trying to prepare myself for the worst. I knew everything the doctor had said was true. I needed to do everything in my power to keep Jesse safe. "I got it." I respond.

The entire trip to Matt's room I was preparing myself. Trying to sike myself up. I had seen gunshot victims more times than I could count while I was PIC, I had even seen Matt at his worst in the hospital after his brain injury on the job when he had saved that baby... but this, nothing prepared me for this.

The audible gasp that slipped from my lips as we entered Matt's room was enough to bring Kelly to a stop as he pushed my chair. My trembling hand came to cover my mouth, and I forced myself to take deep breaths.

"Gabby?" I heard Kelly question. I shook my head, placing my hands on the wheels of the chair.

"Give me a minute please." I say softly, pushing myself towards Casey's bed, not bothering to turn to see if Kelly has left.

My hands immediately reach out to run a hand through Matt's blonde hair and I feel the tears already wetting my cheeks, but I don't bother pushing them away. The only thing I can focus on is Matt's pale face, the tube coming out of his mouth and the steady beeping of the machines surrounding him. Multiple IV's the breathing tube that was partially breathing for him, by the numbers on the machine it looked like it was doing the majority of the work. I wish I didn't know what that meant. I wish more than anything I didn't know how to read all these stupid machines. The machine that was doing nearly eighty percent of the breathing for him, the machine that was practically pumping his heart for him. Matt was basically on life support at this point.

I didn't bother stopping the sob that left my mouth. "God, Matt... this isn't how this is supposed to be." I feel Jesse kick for the first time since I woke up and I can't help but release a watery chuckle. "This kid, I swear. He's already a daddy's boy, Matt."

I sniffle, trying my best to breathe through the tears, I had to keep calm, I had to breathe. "We are here Matt, me and Jesse, and all of 51. We are here and we need you to fight, fight like hell to come back to us. Jesse needs you; Jesse needs his daddy." I cry, squeezing his hand, if only he could feel us here and know, know that we weren't going anywhere. "Things are uh, things are complicated right now Matt. So, I need you to pull through this. I need you... Please."

Severide

Seventy-two hours. It had been seventy-two hours since I stepped out this door. How had seventy-two hours away from the apartment changed so much?

I watch as Dawson walks in looking around the apartment, lost. The same look she has had since I rolled her out of Casey's room after her first visit with him. She was released from the hospital, but Matt still had not woken up. It took the entire 51 army just to convince Gabby to actually go home and leave Matt at the hospital. I had a feeling part of her determination to stay with him was partly not wanting to come back to their apartment without them. By the look on her face I understood why.

She looked devastated. Walking through those doors without Matt. I watched as she ran a hand over her stomach, doing her best to keep her composure. "Can I get you something to eat?" I ask softly.

Dawson shakes her head, "I'm going to go shower, wash the hospital off me." She says, walking back to her and Casey's room, not bothering to turn back.

It's over an hour later that Dawson finally makes her way back into the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. I go to the fridge, passing her a water bottle. She takes it gratefully taking few sips then stops running her hands through her damp curls.

"I ordered pizza, should be here in thirty."

"Tomorrow I'm going to head out, run to the baby store, finally get a crib and some furniture picked out." Dawson says, her voice void of any emotion. "I need to get a changing table too, pick up some bottles and onesies. I really need to get on top of all this." She looks around the apartment, "Should I have someone come baby proof? This place I'm sure needs it."

"Dawson... you're on bed rest, you can't go out shopping right now. Besides, don't stress all this, we will get it done." I say, more so trying to avoid Dawson going out shopping; she still didn't know about all the handmade baby furniture Matt and I had moved into the baby room right before last shift. That felt like another lifetime ago right now.

"We who, Kelly?!" She yells and I hear the catch in her voice. "Matt's in the ICU and the doctors can't give me an answer on when or even if he is going to wake up! What the hell am I supposed to do? Wait around until Matt wakes up? Then what?" She cries.

My heart breaks for her, I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. Dawson gets up, moving into the living room and distancing herself. "Kelly, I need to start taking steps to get ready for this baby. Besides, it's not like Matt was jumping to get out with me to get stuff for the baby room anyways..." She sighs.

God dammit, I really didn't want to tell her, but... "Gabby that wasn't it... Matt wanted to he just..." I trail off.

"He just what Kelly? He just avoided any and every responsibility that had to do with getting ready for Jesse? He just..."

I had to stop her, before she said more things she would regret out of anger and being hurt. "He made homemade baby furniture Dawson! Everything, crib, rocking chair, table, dresser... he made it all, and he wanted it to be a surprise for you. That, that is why he has been avoiding going shopping. He didn't want to blow his surprise."

Tears slip from Dawson's eyes and I watch as she deflates. Slowing setting herself down on the couch and taking a deep ragged breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you. Casey swore me to secrecy."

It's silent for a few moments before Dawson speaks so lowly, I could barely hear her. "Is it done?"

I nod in reply, "Where is it?"

I sigh, stuck between lying to her so the furniture would stay a secret for Casey to reveal and also telling her the truth, knowing she could use any positivity right now. Before I can even respond I see her eyes light up more than I have seen them for days. "It's here... isn't it?" Her voice is quite and hopeful, I can't help but crack a smile.

"It is, Case finished it right before the last shift. We snuck it all in and locked up Jesse's room while you were out with Brett for lunch. He uh, he wanted to reveal it to you after we got home from shift." I say solemnly.

Gabby nods, tears in her eyes again as she bites her lip. "I want to see it." She whispers. Getting up and moving towards the bedroom.

I'm after her quickly, cutting her off. "Woah, woah, woah, Dawson come on. It's supposed to be a surprise."

Dawson pouts, "Come on, Kel." She sighs, looking up at me with those same damn lost eyes she walked into the apartment with.

I sigh, "When," I say with no uncertainty, "Casey is awake and finds out, I had nothing, nothing, to do with this... You went into the room on your own... got it?"

Gabby nods quickly, the light returning to her eyes as I walk to the kitchen and pull the key out of the drawer before leading her to the baby room.

I take a deep breath, unlock the door and step out of the way, letting Dawson make the first move. I watch her mule it over a second before grabbing the door knob and slowly pushing the door open.

I take a step back, letting her walk around the room and take it all in. Casey did some damn fine work. The walls had been painted a light blue and a Casey had hung a cream, blue, and red firetruck wallpaper boarder around the top of the walls. The rocking chair, as well as the rest of the furniture was beautifully crafted and stained a dark mahogany color. The crib was placed in the corner of the room and had white bedding with red fire trucks on it. Casey had gone the extra mile after I had helped set the furniture up and had gotten fire truck bookends and set up all the books, he had picked up in between on the dresser. He had gotten baskets and had them filled with diapers, and everything needed for a changing table.

I stand behind Dawson as her shoulder shake, she was crying. I hear her take an exceptionally ragged breath and hear her breathes get quicker. I'm rushing in ushering her to the rocking chair. "Okay Dawson, breathe, just breathe."

Dawson struggles for a minute more, her tears and breath coming too quick. "Kelly, he has to wake up, he has to, I can't, I can't do this without him... I need..."

"Okay, okay, breathe, Gabby, breathe." I force her to calm down and match my breaths and it's only a few moments more before I have her calmed enough.

I squeeze her shoulder and meet her eyes.

"Casey is going to wake up Dawson. He loves you and Jesse far too much not to. You just have to believe."

Hermann

It has been a long seventy-two hours. Chief and I had just switched off of Casey duty and I found myself again sending up a prayer while I sat at Casey's bed side.

I'd lost track of how many times I'd sat here and sent up a prayer. I had barely had 12 hours off before I was back at Casey's side. With Kelly forcing Gabby to go home and rest I knew she would only do so with someone standing watch by Casey's side and I had promised her I would stay and call if I had an update.

This entire situation was taking a toll on the whole house. No one could breathe a sigh of relief until Casey was awake and out of woods. In fact, I wasn't sure if we would be breathing a sigh of relief until Casey was home, safe and sound, as well as baby Jesse and Dawson. News of her condition had given us all something new to stress about and I wasn't sure we would stop worrying about our girl for a long while.

I was deep in thought when beeping pulled me back into the hospital room. Matt's machines were going off like crazy, before I could comprehend what was happening, I was being pushed from the room as nurses and doctors all swarmed Matt.

My heart rate dropped as I watched them work on Casey.

I closed my eyes, sending up another prayer.

Casey

My head hurt, my chest hurt, my limbs felt like they weighed a million pounds.

There was so many noises going on around me, I could barely make out any of them. The beeping stopped. The voices were coming closer. I could hear them clearer. My eyes flickered. What the hell was going on?

My mind was racing. The last thing I remember was walking into the club to meet Nesbitt, we had talked, arguing, fighting, and then the shots, the pain in my chest.

Was I shot?

I was shot.

Gabby.

Jesse.

Where was I? I went back to the noises. Forcing my eyes to open, dear God they felt so heavy.

How long had I been out?

Finally, finally they were open. It's too bright.

Fuck is it too bright in here.

"Welcome back, Mr. Casey."

My eyes finally focused on the voice.

"You have quite a few people waiting to see you awake Mr. Casey. How you feeling?"

My throat hurt, I tried to talk, but all I could manage was coughing. "Get him some water." I hear the doctor. "We just took your breathing tube out, you were waking up and fighting the intubation, your throat will be sore for a while from that. Let's try again, how you feeling?"

I tried clearing my throat, forcing words out, completely ignoring the doctor's question. "Gabby. Where's Gabby?"

I see the doctor smirk. Nodding at someone in the room. I hear the door open.

"Well, well, well. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Hermann. "Welcome back Lieutenant."

I open my mouth to speak and Hermann is beating me too it. "Yeah, yeah, I called Dawson. She is on her way." He smiles then, resting a hand on my shoulder. "God, am I glad to see you awake."

I smile lightly. "Thanks Hermann."

The room starts to clear out at that point. The doctor stays for a little while longer explaining my current condition. Two bullets. One hit the lung, the other grazed my heart. Lucky to be alive.

How the hell had I let this happen... How did I get so tangled up in this? How was Dawson dealing with all of this? Was she okay? Could she ever forgive me for putting her through this hell?

I feel like I've been waiting forever to see Dawson when I finally hear the door open, I am about to tell Hermann as much.

"Matt..."

Had she gotten more beautiful over the past few days I was out? I was sure she had.

Please review and let me know if there is still interest in this story.