"Thanks for helping me, Phantom."

Danny turned to look at Harry, frowning slightly. "I mean, of course? Why are you thanking me now, specifically?"

"Well, it's just." Harry shrugged, then sighed, slightly despairingly. "I've still been going to Snape's lessons, because he doesn't know I've been training with you too, and it's… not brilliant. And I realized, if you weren't teaching me the same thing, I don't think I would've ever learned Occlumency."

"Oh." Danny absentmindedly scratched his cheek. "I guess I see your point. He's not a great teacher, at least not towards anyone who isn't in Slytherin."

"How would you know?" Harry narrowed his eyes at Danny, suspicion clear in his voice. "It's not like it matters to you, does it?"

"Uh, I have friends in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw? Duh." Danny rolled his eyes, folding his arms as he lounged in midair. "Also, what do you think I do all day? Of course I'm gonna watch some real magic lessons. Who's gonna stop me? The teachers, the students? Nah."

Harry eyed him for a moment longer, then nodded, dropping it. "I suppose you're right. And you must've picked up on all the bullying somehow."

"Yeah." Danny rolled over, landing on the floor again, soundlessly. "You want to give it another shot, or are you done for the day?"

The other boy groaned, rubbing his eyes. "I think I'm calling quits, sorry. Still got homework to do and I don't want to have to deal with Hermione's nagging if I put it off any longer."

At this, Danny laughed. "That's fine! I've seen the homework planners she sent to the others. Sam says that one of the reasons why she spends so much time in the RoR with me and the others is because Hermione can't find her there."

"That's clever." Harry stretched, his spine popping loudly as he did so. "Well, goodnight, Phantom. See you soon?"

"Yep, of course. Friday, same time, and ask one of the others for me if you need me sooner, yeah?"

"Will do." Harry waved a short goodbye, then wandered out of the room, leaving Danny alone. He waited a beat or two before calling on the Room, its appearance shifting around him.

The walls smoothed out, warm stone turning into shiny steel. Tables turned into the sharp cornered tables one could find in a lab, while bookshelves turned into metal racks which could be used to store both materials and weaponry. And, on the wall furthest from the door, a large metal arch formed, the space behind it hollowing out.

Slowly, Danny walked towards the inactive Portal, fingers brushing over the ON button on the outside.

There was no point. The Room of Requirement was an incredible piece of magic, but it couldn't create a functional portal. The Ghost Zone, and its ectoplasm, was simply not compatible with magic. They canceled each other out.

Still, he couldn't help but try it. He pushed down.

The Portal sparked, briefly, but only once. And, unlike the original Portal, it had lacked the otherworldly buzz of ectoplasm.

Danny sighed, then ducked down next to one of the lab tables. Stashed there was the one invention he'd asked Jazz to send him from home. It was a little inconvenient, the size especially, but unfortunately his parents hadn't done much with portable Portal creators.

Still, the huge thing had been a pain to hide from Harry, especially since the Room had a tendency to suck items to its secondary storage room. And if that happened to Danny's gadget, well. He would likely have needed several ages to find it again.

Luckily, though, it had remained right where it was supposed to be. The large metal gun gleamed in the artificial light, the green elements casting a steady glow. Fully charged and ready for use.

He heaved the enormous bazooka onto his shoulder, loosely holding it with one hand. In the other, he formed a large ball of ice. The bazooka needed to hit a target to form a portal, and Danny quite frankly didn't want to find out what happened if it hit the walls of the enchanted room.

Satisfied that the ice was big enough for him to hit, he chucked it. With both hands on the Fenton Bazooka, he took aim. Then he fired.

With a loud ripping noise, a green tear in reality formed where the ball had previously been. Still holding onto the weapon, Danny dove through the portal, knowing that it wouldn't last long.

The Ghost Zone looked as it always did. Green and dreary.

Still, something in Danny soothed. It was… nice, to see something so familiar. After months and months at Hogwarts, he hadn't realized how homesick he had started to get. And sure, the Zone wasn't home, but… it was close.

That, and the portal had spit him out somewhere fairly close to his parents' actual Portal. Must be some sort of coordinates, he supposed.

Anyway. Focus, Fenton. Do what you have to do, then get back to the school. Time's wasting!

"I still can't believe no one in the Zone could help me," Danny groaned during dinner, making sure to stay vague, just in case anyone overheard. Well, people definitely heard; the Great Hall was packed as always, and Sam and Tucker joined the Slytherin table so often they hardly worked as repellents anymore.

"Well, they were gonna look into it, no?" Sam took a bite of her own dinner, pausing the conversation until she swallowed it again. "You said Dora looked worried, too. It's gotta be important, then, which means that it'll be treated as such. Right?"

"Ugh, probably." He pushed his dinner around on his plate a little. "I'm just worried. He's been getting better, luckily, but it shouldn't be necessary."

"Just be glad you could help," Tucker said, mouth still stuffed full of food. "Imagine how bad things would've been otherwise."

Sam elbowed him, chastising. "Tucker, come on, at least swallow before you speak! And Danny, you've done all you can right now, okay? Worrying about it won't help."

"Yeah, you're right." Danny sighed, and the conversation stilled as they all ate in silence.

"Besides, things have been better, right? After that Quibbler interview?" Mercifully, Tucker had swallowed this time. "Even if Umbridge outlawed it."

"It became such a big deal because she outlawed it, Tuck, and you know that." Sam rolled her eyes but accepted the topic change. "It's a little frustrating to see everyone get swayed so easily, but whatever. I'm okay with it for now, since it's a good thing for once."

"Yeah, glad that it's used for good for once." Danny took another bite or two from his dinner. "D'you guys want to work on homework tonight?"

"Sounds good to me," Tucker agreed, finishing off his own dinner. "These teachers are crazy about that stuff."

"It's honestly a little concerning." Sam scooped up her own last bite. "Seriously, can you imagine dealing with this when you're like, ten? That's gotta mess some people up, right?"

"Probably," Danny agreed, cleaning off his own plate. "I was gonna suggest you talk about it with Hermione, but I'm pretty sure she'll kill you if you dare suggest that homework is bad."

Sam laughed, nodding her agreement. "Yeah, I'm gonna skip on that. Come on, let's go."

He and Tucker nodded, and the three of them headed into the Entrance Hall. Once there, however, they stopped in the massive crowd that had formed.

Danny, spotting Theodore Nott close by, nudged his dormmate. "Hey, what's going on?"

Theodore squinted at Sam and Tucker briefly, but didn't comment. Instead he turned to Danny, shrugging casually. "Professor Umbridge just fired Trelawney, but Dumbledore let her stay. Apparently he's got a new teacher already, so-"

He stopped mid-sentence, and for good reason. The doors had slammed open, thick mist rolling inside. Faintly, a sound like hooves could be heard – or Danny heard it, at least.

While Theodore was distracted, Danny snuck back closer to Sam and Tucker. They had, simultaneously and without words, decided to stick around and watch the happenings.

Then the supposed new teacher entered through the open doors, mist whirling around him, and-

"Holy shit, he's a centaur."

And, well. Sam sure was right about that. The man that had entered through the doors and into the Entrance Hall was certainly a centaur. White-blond hair and sharp blue eyes, human to the hips, with a pale brown horse body from there on.

"Umbridge is gonna find a way to kill him," Tucker whispered, barely audible over the clamoring of the crowd. "Either that, or she'll kill herself, and she's too obsessed with herself to do that."

"Yeah, I mean. Wow." Danny knew he was grinning, but he couldn't quite stamp it down. "How cool is that, though. A real half-breed, just the kind that the Ministry hates the most? I love it."

"Not to stamp down on your fun, Danny, but, uh." Sam glanced around them. "Let's head to the Room first, okay?"

Danny rolled his wand through his fingers, watching everyone else in the room practice. Most could form little more than silver vapor, but some others had managed to form corporeal Patronuses already. Besides Harry's stag, he could also see an otter dart around, and a silver swan soared through the room as well.

Besides him, Sam and Tucker were struggling with getting their Patronuses corporeal. He, himself, was still sorting through his memories to find the best one. One not tainted by his half-ghostness, by his parents' hatred, by…

The letter from Dani came to mind, suddenly. The sheer giddiness he had felt, reading that his parents had felt genuine concern not just for Danny, but for Phantom.

And with this memory in mind, Danny resettled his wand in his hand, waved it, and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

Bright silver flowed from his wand, the occasional green spark quickly stamped down by Danny's focused will. It flowed into the room, drawing Sam's and Tucker's attention, and they both lowered their wands to watch.

Then the mist drew back into itself, thickening into a deep silver ball. A silver ball which then, suddenly, grew legs and a tail and, oh.

A semi-transparent and silver version of Cujo hung in the air in front of Danny. The dog-like Patronus wagged its tail, just as flame-like as the original's was.

"Is that…" Tucker started saying, watching the Patronus.

"Yep," Danny confirmed, knowing that the both of them saw what he saw.

"Do you think he can do the same trick?" Sam asked, an intrigued look on her face. "I didn't know Patronuses could resemble animalistic ghosts. That's pretty interesting. Or do you think it might be because of, y'know?"

"Maybe." Danny shrugged, watching the Cujo Patronus bounce around. "I bet this one does way less damage than the original, though."

Tucker laughed, nodding, and Sam grinned as well. But before either of them could say anything more, Zacharias Smith spotted them, wandering closer.

"Wow, Slytherin, should've known you'd get such a tiny Patronus. Really representative, innit?"

Danny rolled his eyes, turning to face Zacharias as well. "Sorry, what was it that you were trying to say?"

"Gotta use easy words, huh?" Zacharias grinned wide, all teeth and no humor. "It's that small dog syndrome, yeah? A lot of bluster but nothing behind it."

The Cujo Patronus perked its ears, drifting back over. Then it snarled at Zacharias, apparently offended on either its own behalf or Danny's. In doing so, however, it drew the attention of several other members of the DA.

"Just look at it!" Zacharias continued, gesturing at the Patronus. "Not terribly impressive, is it? What Demontor's gonna be scared of-"

He never got to finish the sentence, however, as Danny's Patronus suddenly became twice as big as Zacharias himself. Still semi-transparent and silver, but now with giant drool-covered fangs, it towered over its taunter.

"I don't know," Danny said slowly. "I think he'll do just fine."

In the face of this towering behemoth – and his clear defeat – Zacharias quickly sped off again. Sam and Tucker both nodded appreciatively at the Cujo Patronus, looking him over.

"Looks just like the real deal, man." Tucker reached out a hand towards the spiked collar, then thought better of it and dropped his hand again. "I wonder what Cujo would think of him."

"I don't think I want to know, to be honest." Danny made a face, watching the Patronus shrink back to its original size. "One is enough, thank you."

"What kinda memory did you use, anyway?" Sam leaned on him, a little too casually. "Must've been a pretty powerful one."

"Honestly?" He laughed, sheepishly, as Tucker leaned in closer too. "The one from this Christmas, when I got Dani's letter. Reading about all that stuff… It felt really good, y'know?"

"Ah, that makes sense." Tucker nodded understandingly. "Guess I gotta do some more digging to find a good one myself, too. Can't let you be better at this than me, man."

Danny opened his mouth to quip back, but he heard the door of the Room open and instead whirled around to look. The door closed almost as soon as it had opened, a small house-elf wearing an absurd eight wool hats standing in front of it. Its eyes were wide and it was shaking, like it was terrified. But of what?

More people caught sight of the house-elf, all falling silent to watch as it made its way through the room. It didn't stop until it reached Harry, tugging on his robes.

"Hi, Dobby!" Harry said once he'd spotted the house-elf. "What are you… What's wrong?"

Now that Harry had pointed out the house-elf's existence, everyone in the room fell silent to watch. The few Patronuses that were wandering about faded away, the room becoming marginally darker without their glow.

"Harry Potter, sir…" the elf squeaked, trembling badly. "Harry Potter, sir… Dobby has come to warn you… but the house-elves have been warned not to tell…"

Dobby then, without warning, ran head-first at the wall. Harry lunged to grab him and missed, but fortunately Dobby's pile of hats cushioned him. He simply bounced off of the wall.

"What's happened, Dobby?" Harry asked again, grabbing the house-elf by the arm. He even went so far as to drag the elf away from the wall – and anything else he could've used to hurt himself. Having seen Dobby in action, Danny didn't blame the guy.

"Harry Potter… She- She-"

The house-elf promptly punched himself in the nose with his free hand. In response, Harry grabbed that one too, then continued speaking like nothing strange was happening.

"Who's "she", Dobby?" The elf remained silent, but he must've either mouthed something, or Harry knew who he was referring to, because he asked, horrified, "Umbridge?"

Dobby nodded – or, well, it was a little hard to tell because he also tried bashing his head on Harry's knees – and Harry made a fearful face.

"What about her? Dobby- She hasn't found out about this – about us – about the DA?"

The house-elf didn't answer, too occupied with trying to kick himself. When he fell to the floor, Harry asked, quietly, "Is she coming?"

Dobby howled, startling some of the closer students, and began beating his bare feet against the floor. "Yes, Harry Potter, yes!"

Danny felt his heart sink to his shoes at the admission. Sam and Tucker, on either of his sides, stiffened as well. Without discussion, they started creeping towards the door.

Meanwhile, Harry stood up again, looking at the motionless people around him. Then…

"What are you waiting for?!" he bellowed, throwing a hand in the direction of the door. "Run!"

Team Phantom, having seen this coming, had already made their way to the door. They were among the first out, escaping the inevitable clog, and sped off. Danny relied on his magic sense to know if there were hidden wizards nearby. Thus assured of at least a short moment out of sight, he turned the three of them invisible, and phased them through a wall.

Once in the abandoned classroom he shifted to Phantom, never letting go of Sam and Tucker.

"Did you see the hidden Slytherins?" Tucker asked, his voice a low whisper. "They're gonna check all the convenient hiding spots, I'm sure."

"I'll bring you two straight to your towers, then." Danny lifted up again, his abilities stronger now that he was in ghost form. "And you won't be out of breath since you haven't run, so they have no proof."

Both of them nodded. Danny turned all of them invisible and intangible, and so they all returned to their common rooms, like nothing had ever happened.

Danny paused, cocking his head slightly. Then he nudged Sam and Tucker. "Did you two hear that, just now?"

"Hear what?" Sam shook her head. "Nothing special, so probably not, no."

"The twins said they were planning something to mess with Umbridge." He glanced around, then grouped in closer so they could continue walking without being overheard. "And I think I know just the right person to help them with that."

"You want Phantom to help them?" Tucker frowned. "I don't know man. I thought you wanted him to stay hidden?"

"Yeah, well, it's not like Dumbledore can really do anything right now that he's been fired, can he?" Danny shrugged. "I would be helping, just… not the way he might've had in mind."

"You know what?" Sam looked around, then nodded. "I'm usually not a fan of using your powers for this kind of thing, but for this? Go for it, Danny. Make her pay."

"Guess I'll go search for them after lunch." They stepped into the Hall, and he heaved a sigh. "Better separate for lunch. Wouldn't want to draw unwanted attention, and I'll have to run off afterwards anyway."

"Yeah, alright." Sam split off first, wandering over to the Gryffindor table with an unhappy expression.

"Good luck, man. Don't get killed."

"I'll do my best," Danny assured him with a grin, and Tucker left for his own table too.

As it turned out, however, he hadn't been fast enough. He was still only part-way through lunch when an enormous explosion sounded, the ceiling above them trembling under the force. People several floors higher screamed, and Danny could even faintly hear the sound of their running footsteps.

What on Earth had the twins done?

Several of the students in the Great Hall started yelling and pointing, and Danny followed their hands to see what was happening; outside, visible through the windows, enormous magical fireworks were going crazy. One enormous hot-pink Catherine wheel seemed to be ahead, but more went whizzing after it. As he watched, an enormous green and gold dragon compromised entirely out of sparks followed them, seemingly originating a few floors further up.

He quickly worked his way through the rest of his lunch, then fled the Great Hall. For once, he didn't have to fear standing out; many of the other students were rushing out too, either to go outside and watch the show, or to try and hurry their way around them so they would make it to their classes on time.

Danny simply ducked into a nearby – and blissfully empty – corridor, shifting into his ghost form. He suspected that the twins were hidden somewhere near the origin of the fireworks, and surely that couldn't be too hard to find?

And indeed, they were hidden behind a tapestry on that same floor, quaking with suppressed mirth.

Now, of course, he couldn't let this opportunity slip. So…

"Boys!" he whisper-yelled from right behind them. "What is the meaning of this?!"

Both twins stiffened, then turned around in perfect sync. They took him in, wide-eyed and stammering.

"Phantom!" one yelped, dropping into a whisper almost immediately. "We were just-"

"-welcoming Professor Umbridge as our new Headmaster!" the other finished, lamely.

"Uh huh." Danny quirked an eyebrow, his face smooth and unimpressed. "Interesting way of doing that, guys."

Then he dropped the mask, grinning widely, his aura brightening. "You got room for a ghost in your clever plans?"

The two of them shared a brief glance, then nodded.

"I'm sure we-"

"-could find a spot!"

"Great!" He rubbed his hands together, letting his grin drop into a smirk. "So, how can I help?"

They frowned. "Are you sure you want to help?"

"We thought you were against pranking?"

"Is this about the Peeves thing?" Danny shook his head, then flapped a dismissive hand to drive the point home. "I'm against his harmful pranks. He was endangering the students, and that was a problem. No, no. As the others could tell you, I'm quite fond of pranking myself, even if I don't do it often."

"Why not?" they asked in perfect sync.

He shrugged. "Sam kept getting upset that I was using my powers against people who couldn't defend themselves against it. That, and I was too busy to come up with clever new pranks to pull with my powers."

"And everyone knows you can't repeat the same pranks over and over." The twin nodded as his brother took over.

"As for our plans, well. This was only phase one, right George?"

Following their usual logic of only referring to each other with the wrong name, that meant that the last one that had spoken was George. So the one that spoke up next was…

"Exactly!" Fred said. "They'll get worse as she tries to hex them, too! Will last all day, we're sure."

"Nice," Danny complimented, an excited grin on his face. At least he wouldn't be too bothered by them when he went to bed, a clear advantage of the dungeons. "So, again, how can I help?"

Harry ran down the marble staircase, finding what looked like most of the school assembled in the Entrance Hall. For a moment, it reminded him of the night Trelawney had been fired, but then he noticed that a good number of students were covered in a substance not unlike Stinksap. Also in the ring were teachers and even ghosts. The only ones who appeared to be happy to be present were the members of the Inquisitorial Squad, all looking exceptionally pleased with themselves. Even Peeves hovered above the crowd, watching the same thing as the others.

And in the middle of the circle were Fred and George. Both had the unmistakable look of people who had just been cornered. Yet, for some reason, neither seemed particularly concerned about their predicament.

"So!" Umbridge exclaimed triumphantly, just a few steps in front of Harry. "So, you think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"

"Pretty amusing, yeah." Fred looked up at her without even the slightest sign of fear.

Filch worked his way through the crowd, getting closer to Umbridge, almost crying with happiness. "I've got the form, Headmistress," he said hoarsely, waving the piece of parchment Harry had seen him take just before this. "I've got the form and I've got the whips waiting… Oh, let me do it now…"

"Very good, Argus." Umbridge turned to the twins, gazing down on them. "You two are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."

"You know what?" Fred said, "I think we've outgrown full-time education."

"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," George answered lightly.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?"

"Definitely."

And before anyone could stop them, they raised their wands and said, together: "Accio brooms!"

Harry ducked just in time to dodge the brooms, which then stopped sharply in front of the twins.

Fred swung his leg over his broomstick, grinning at Umbridge. "We won't be seeing you."

"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch." George mounted his own broom, the same impish smile on his face.

Then Fred looked out over the crowd, all silent, all watchful, and raised his voice.

"If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley – Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes! Our new premises!"

"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," George added as he pointed at Umbridge.

"Stop them!" Umbridge shrieked, but it was too late. A transparent green wall formed between the Inquisitorial Squad and their prey, Phantom shimmering into view right behind it. He remained colorless like a Wizarding ghost, except that his eyes sparked bright green. He smirked as well, vibrant eyes locked on Umbridge.

"Sorry, not sorry," he said, sounding entirely unapologetic.

Behind him, both twins kicked off from the floor, shooting a solid fifteen feet into the air. The iron peg that still hung off of George's broom swung precariously.

"Give her hell from us, Peeves, Phantom."

And, against all odds, Peeves listened. He swept his hat off, saluting Fred and George as they sped out through the open front doors. The entire way out, they were followed with a tumultuous applause.

Oh, there was gonna be hell to pay for this, Harry was sure. But for now he would enjoy the moment.

Lotsa stuff happened this chapter! Also, I know that people are probably kinda disappointed that I didn't do Patronuses for Sam and Tucker, but to be honest... I just couldn't think of anything good for them lmao. I knew I wanted Danny to have a Cujo Patronus, but I couldn't think of anything for the other two, so... Plus, Danny had a very handy super powerful memory to go off of, which Sam and Tucker didn't have. Or, well, not to that degree at least.

On a mostly unrelated note, are you interested in seeing how my writing works? I'm gonna be streaming today as I work on Absurdism, my next multi-chapter DP fanfic. And even if you miss it today, you could catch me working on it some later moment, probably! Check out my Tumblr (darks-ink) for more info, since that's where I post about it.

Next week, chapter 19: A Real Hoot