A/N:A Christmas Day, over time, becomes less about store bought presents, and more about life's unexpected gifts.
DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler
December 25th, year one
"Thank you," Olivia whispered as she pulled her coat on and reached for the doorknob. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Elliot screwed up his face at her. "You're...you're leaving?" He slapped a hand over hers, keeping her from turning the knob.
Olivia sighed, dragged her free hand through her hair, and said, "It was sweet of you to invite me, but maybe you should have cleared it with your wife."
"What…" he turned back to look into the living room, his wife, Kathy, was on the couch with his kids surrounding the tree. "What did she say to you?"
"Nothing, I can just tell she…" she was stopped by the severe look on his face and intense fire in his eyes. The blaze that was making things in her life far more complicated than they needed to be. She let out another breath and said, "She said... that you haven't known me long enough to spend Christmas with me, and, uh, it should just be family." She looked down at her black snow boots and tried to smile. "I know you were trying to be nice, make me feel welcome, but…"
"Stay, she's just…" he took a harsh breath. "She is incredibly insecure." He sent a glare in Kathy's direction. "And rude." His eyes traveled back to Olivia. "Stay," he said softly, his one hand still stopping her from leaving, the other gently sliding up her other arm.
She shivered at his touch, closed her eyes, and shook her head. "I should...go see my mother." She pulled his hand off of hers, threw open the door, and left the house, running out into the snow.
Elliot watched her leave, his heart jackhammering in his chest. He swore to himself he'd wait until the kids went to sleep to talk to Kathy. He didn't want them seeing or hearing them fight.
December 25th, year two
Olivia smiled as her taxi pulled up to the blue house. "Wait here," she said to the driver, "I won't be long." She opened the door, slid out of her seat, and wrapped her hands around six large gift bags. She walked up to the door, intending to knock, but it swung open before she could.
"Hey!" Elliot chirped brightly, running down the path to her. "What is...what's all this?" he chuckled, taking the bags from her.
"Gifts," she shrugged. "For you and the kids. Um, something for Kathy." She swatted the hair out of her eyes with her gloved hand and said, "Not that she's gonna like anything I give her."
He laughed and kissed her forehead. "You didn't have to do all this," he told her. "But, um, you do have your fair share of gifts under the tree, so," he winked at her.
"You didn't need to get me anything," she said as she tilted her head. "Bring them to work with you, I'll open them in the morning. You, uh...tell the kids I love them, okay?"
His eyes widened as he realized she was walking away. "You're not staying?"
She shot him a crooked look and laughed. "Of course, I'm not." She shook her head and said, "You know why I can't. I'll be at my mom's. See you…"
"Liv!" He called to her before she reached the taxi, and when she turned around he gave her a desperate shrug, stretching out his arms and making the bags of gifts sway in the winter wind. "Come on," he pleaded softly.
"I'm not gonna make Christmas awkward," she said, biting her lip. "Besides, I should...I should be with my mom." Her lips curled into an apologetic half-smile, her eyes telling him that she'd love to stay with him. "Merry Christmas, El," she said, her voice breaking. She got into the cab before he could see her cry.
"Shit," she hissed to herself as the taxi started to pull away from the curb. She'd realized just how much trouble she was in, and how deeply she had fallen in love with her partner.
December 25th, year three
"You don't have an excuse this year," Elliot said with a smug grin. He folded his arms and winked at Olivia.
She chuckled and let one arm fold over her waist as the other dragged through her wavy hair. "You really invited my mother here for Christmas," she whispered, looking deeply into his eyes. "What did Kathy have to…"
"Kathy didn't know until she got here," he told her, smirking. "See, she always says Christmas is about family, and you…" he dropped his hands to her shoulders and held her gaze. "You are my family. You and your mom." He leaned into her and kissed her cheek, and whispered, "You're staying this time, and I really don't give a fuck if Kathy likes it or not. As of this morning, it's not really her business who comes into this house anymore, anyway."
Olivia laughed and shook her head at him. "You are a stubborn son of a bitch," she told him.
"I am," he said to her, sliding a hand down her arm until his fingers wrapped around hers. "When it comes to getting what I want, I am incredibly fucking stubborn." He shot her a smoky look and dropped her hand, hoping she understood what he was trying to tell her.
She swallowed hard and folded her arms. "Look, what happened last night…"
"Changed everything," he scratched out, and the. He cleared his throat. "Why...why do you think I needed you here with me today? I didn't want you out of my sight, because I know if you're alone long enough, you'll overthink it, stop it...regret it...run." He lowered his brows slightly and his eyes darkened. "I'm not letting that fucking happen. Not when...this morning, I, uh...got what I wanted for Christmas." He gulped, his nerves getting the best of him. "What I think we both wanted."
"What are you…" he stopped, squinting at him, realizing the deeper meaning behind his words.
He kissed her cheek again, and moved fast towards the kitchen to finish making dinner, knowing she was watching him and trying to stop shaking.
December 25th, year four
Olivia handed Lizzie another beautifully wrapped present, smiling wildly. She watched as the seven-year-old tore off the paper, revealing a thick book.
The girl ran her fingers over the gold embossed leather cover. "The original Grimm fairy tales," she breathed, her eyes wide and her face bright. She looked up at Olivia and said, "Thank you!"
Olivia kissed the girl's forehead. "You're very welcome, sweetheart." She turned to Dickie and tapped on a big box beside him. "Your turn, spud!" she chuckled as she ruffled his hair.
Elliot, sitting beside Olivia with his left arm looped around her, watched his son open his gift with a warm smile on his face. He laughed when the young boy screamed in excitement as he unwrapped his new pinball machine. His fingers twirled in the curls of Olivia's hair, and he leaned over and kissed her temple as his eyes slid shut. "Merry Christmas, baby," he whispered into her ear.
She turned to look at him, the reflection of the tree and lights in his eyes, and she dropped her head forward to his. "Merry Christmas," she returned. She heard her mother talking to his, their happy voices carrying in from the kitchen where they were cooking and baking like oldest friends, and she very softly said, "I don't think I've ever been this happy."
"Oh, honey," he chuckled, "You ain't seen nothing yet." He winked, kissed her again, and pulled her closer to him as he turned his attention back to Kathleen and Maureen, opening their gifts.
December 25th, year five
"Honey," Elliot's soft voice broke into her thoughts, tearing her eyes away from the photo in her hands. "Baby, the kids are setting the table, and…"
"I know," she sniffled, her index finger running lightly over her mother's face under the glass. "I miss her," she breathed, trying to stop herself from crying.
Elliot's eyes closed, grieving with her as he kissed her forehead and brushed the back of her head soothingly. "I know, kitten," he whispered back. "I'm so sorry." He looked down at her and tried to smile. "We had a few great years with…"
"Because of you," she interrupted, sniffling again. "If you hadn't been so fucking determined to get me to…" her voice cracked and she shook her head, her lower lip trembling. She breathed deeply and said, "You know she only tried to stay sober for us, for the kids, and she never would have…" she lowered her voice and dropped her eyes, her face tensing with refusal to cry. "Why?" she huffed. "What drove her back to the bottle and why the hell did it have to happen two weeks before Christmas?"
"I don't know, baby," he told her gently. He curled his hand under her chin and brought her face up to meet his. "She loved you so much," he told her on a sigh. "She loved the kids, and she…" he held back a son as he splayed his other hand over her stomach. "She would have really loved this one." He kissed her lips softly and said, "She's our angel now, kitten. She'd want us to go out there and celebrate this little miracle of ours, and she definitely wouldn't want us to think about questions we don't have any answers to. Not today. Not on Christmas."
Olivia inhales sharply, letting her breath out on a quiver and she nodded. "You're right. You're...absolutely right." She kissed him and as her hand dragged down his face she squinted. "Do you think…" she paused and bit her lip. "Do you think we should...I mean, obviously I have to tell Cragen I'm pregnant, but should we…"
"Baby," he grinned, "When you told me this morning...God, it was the most amazing Christmas present I've ever been given. It's only fair that we give one just as amazing to Cragen, tomorrow morning, isn't it?"
She laughed at the way his eyebrows wagged, and she shook her head at his excitement and genuine happiness. She followed him out of the den and into the dining room, taking time to look at every single face around the table. Elliot's mom, his brothers and sister, their spouses and children, and each of her stepchildren. She took a breath and tried to remember when her entire world shifted, how she'd managed to keep a relationship, engagement, wedding, and now a pregnancy a secret from everyone except her family for so long.
"Mom?" Maureen called, tilting her head at Olivia.
Olivia looked at the eleven year old, smiled, and said, "What pumpkin?"
Maureen beamed brightly at her stepmother and as she sat down at the table she said, "Merry Christmas."
December 25th, year six
Elliot stood by the fireplace, the heat hitting his back, as he stared at Olivia. She was in the middle of the room, wearing a Christmas sweater identical to his and making silly faces at the baby boy in her arms as she danced with him.
"Merry Christmas," a voice from his left said, resting a hand on his shoulder.
Elliot turned at the touch, then smiled. "Same to you, Cap," he said, and then he turned back to see all of his kids now dancing to the loud music, each of them making exaggerated happy faces at the baby. He laughed and absently slapped one hand over his heart.
"You have...an absolutely beautiful family," Cragen told him. "And I'm sorry I've made you feel wrong for it, this past year." He looked from Elliot to Olivia, his lips curving at the sight of her with her son. "You have to understand...it all came as a shock to me, and I had to get used to the idea of the two of you being together at the same moment you tell me she's having a baby."
Elliot's smile faded and he turned slowly toward Cragen again. "Didn't give you the right to treat us like shit for the last eleven months." He crosses his arms and narrowed his eyes. "After her mother died, you were the only parent she had left. She needed you! We all needed you."
Cragen flinched at Elliot's anger. He sighed and nodded. "I know, I realize that, but... I had a lot thrown at me at once and I didn't know how to handle being so excited and happy, pissed off and scared at the same time."
"I get that, believe me," Elliot said to him, "But after you got the hell over it you didn't even…" he took a breath, stopping himself. "Forget it, it's Christmas and this is the one day a year I refuse to be anything but happy."
"Elliot," Cragen prodded softly. He pointed toward Olivia, the baby, and he asked almost timidly, "Introduce me?"
With a somewhat relieved smile, Elliot nodded and led Cragen over to his dancing family.
Cragen waved a finger around and chuckled. "You're all wearing the same sweater, that's…" he looked at Olivia and his smile widened. "That's adorable. Hi, Liv."
"Merry Christmas, Cap," she half-whispered, smiling but sending a worried glance at Elliot. She watched him nod once at her and then looked back toward Cragen. "It's...God, it's good to see you." Her voice wavered with emotion and she shifted the baby in her arms.
"Who is this bouncing baby boy?" Cragen wiggles a finger against the baby's hand, giving him a goofy smile.
Olivia laughed at the display, took a breath, and said, "This is Eli," and then she glanced toward Elliot. "Elliot Benson Stabler."
Elliot moves to her fast, wrapping his arms around her from behind her, and he kissed her cheek. "Our son," he said in a tone that seemed to say he couldn't really believe it, yet. The amazement hanging on those two words rang loudly.
Cragen laughed when Eli wrapped his whole hand around his single large finger. "He's...Jesus, he's absolutely beautiful. He looks just like you, but he has…"
"Elliot's eyes," Olivia grinned and leaned back into her husband.
Cragen cleared his throat and straightened up, but let Eli continue squeezing his finger. "I know I made you feel like you couldn't bring him to the station, but you know...anytime you want to, or need to…" he cleared his throat. "I'm so sorry, I've been so hard on you." He looked up at Elliot. "Both of you."
"Hey," Elliot said, there was a hint of resentment in his eyes. "The last five months at home have been the happiest of my life, so being miserable at work was a lot more tolerable than you think."
"El," Olivia snapped at him, shaking her head. "Not today." She kissed him and then moved Eli to rest on her other arm.
Cragen cleared his throat again. "I know Munch has spent a lot of time with the little guy, and Tucker told me you guys go bowling with him on Sundays?"
Elliot nodded, his lip caught between his teeth. "Speaking of Eddie," he lifted the baby out of Olivia's arms and into his, and he kissed little cheek before saying, "He's here, so I'm gonna take the kids to say hello." He eyed Cragen for a moment, then kissed Olivia, and then led his kids toward the man who'd just walked into the house.
Olivia folded her arms around herself and shrugged. "Sorry about him, he...he knows how to hold a good grudge."
"I'm sorry," Cragen said again. He tilted his head and held out his arms. "I'm so...so sorry." He hugged her and though he didn't expect her to hug him back, he let out a heavy breath when she did. "I missed so much already...because I was angry. I don't want to miss anything else."
Olivia caught Elliot's eyes as she rested her head on Cragen's shoulder and she blew him a kiss and mouthed, "Thank you."
Elliot winked at her and made baby Eli wave to her, and as he watched his wife get lost in a conversation with the man who'd been the only father she'd ever known, he smiled.
"We certainly made sure Mommy had a Merry Christmas," he said out loud, knowing Eli couldn't even understand him. He bounced his son in his arms and started singing along with the song playing in the room. A slow smile spread across his face as he realized exactly how he could make New Year's Eve even merrier.
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE