Chapter Seventeen: Another Scar

"Do you think you are strong enough now, sorceress?"

The pain burned through her veins, making her gag as the taste of blood filled her mouth.

The wound on her chest bled slowly, her skin burned and ruined. Her heartbeat slowed as she felt the darkness creep over her, edging her vision.

Some part of her mind thrashed against the inevitability of it all, screaming in defiance, crying for Merlin. She wanted to alive, it was her destiny to see what Merlin and Arthur and the others were safe- it was not supposed to end like this.

Then Kilgharrah was there, looking down at her.

"The future has many paths, but even some paths we cannot evade," he told her. "You cannot evade this, Iris."

"P-please," she stammered, trying not to scream again.

But the dragon faded into nothingness, and the darkness came for her all the same.

Iris opened her eyes, sweat beading her brow.

"Iris."

Looking to her left, Iris saw that Gaius was offering her a steaming cup of tea, which smelled strongly of herbs and honey.

"This will help," he told her.

When she sat up, she gasped as the healed wound on her side burned. "I thought I healed it," she hissed.

"The knife that Agravaine used was cursed, and you are still feeling its effects," the physician said. "You must rest, and allow your magic to strengthen."

Iris drank deeply, sighing when the pain eased slightly. "What of Arthur and Gwen?"

"I am to call for them when you have made a full recovery."

Iris looked around, sensing Morgana and Mordred in Merlin's room. "Where's Gwaine and Merlin?"

"Gwaine is giving his report to Arthur, and Merlin is tending to Gwen and the medicinal deliveries."

When Iris lowered her gaze, Gaius studied the dark circles under her eyes, and the sickly pallor of her skin.

"Are you still having nightmares?"

The sorceress nodded.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Iris nearly flinched at the memory of a silver dagger flying through the air, then embedding itself in Agravaine's heart.

"I..." Iris' eyes filled with tears. She looked at her hands, which were clean but were covered in abrasions from the journey into the cave.

"Whatever happened, Iris, you must not blame yourself. Because of you the Druid boy and your brother are alive."

"I killed him," Iris whispered, curling into herself. "I thought he was unconscious, but he went after Gwaine and I..."

Her gaze drifted to her dagger, which was sheathed as it sat on the nearby table. Someone had cleaned the blood from it.

When she looked at Gaius again, the fear in her expression nearly pained him. "Gaius, what's going to happen to me?"

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Gwaine sat across from Arthur and Gwen, fists clenched on his lap.

Arthur looked just as tense, apart from the tired lines that bracketed his mouth.

Gwen looked at both of the men and gathered herself, knowing she would have to be strong. "Thank you for your report, Sir Gwaine. You may go."

The knight stood and nodded at them both, before swiftly departing from the hall. Gwen watched him go, knowing he would be heading to the physician's quarters to check on his sister and the others.

Arthur exhaled deeply, rubbing his eyes. "You should go check on them. I know you're worried."

Gwen smiled, taking one of his hands into hers. "We should go check on them together."

"Guinevere... what am I supposed to do?"

So unaccustomed to her new role as Queen, Gwen took a moment to think. "I think you should listen to their stories. Your lord uncle was never an ally to the court unless it suited him."

Arthur shot her a look. "Are you implying my uncle had nefarious plans against Camelot?"

Gwen gave him a patient look in return. "All I am saying is, Arthur, that there is more than one side to this story."

"How am I supposed to trust what is right? How am I supposed to know which is truth and fable? Iris has gotten herself into... difficult situations before."

"What does your heart tell you?" Gwen asked gently.

Arthur gave another weary sigh. "I... I don't know. Iris has been nothing but a friend to you since she arrived."

"And to you," Gwen reminded him, squeezing his hand.

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"How am I supposed to hide our upmost secret?" Iris asked Gaius, pacing the length of room, his elixir making the pain in her side a distant thing in her mind.

"I cannot lie to him," Iris barreled on, even as Gaius sat there patiently. "But I must lie about this one thing, otherwise..."

A knock came from the door, which then swung open to reveal Gwaine.

Iris' expression nearly crumpled at the strained look in her brother's eyes. "What news?" she asked, wishing her voice would not tremble.

Gwaine moved across the room to gather her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. "Nothing yet."

Iris gripped his shirtfront tightly, tears welling in her eyes again. "I'm frightened, Gwaine."

The knight pulled her back so he could look her in the eye. "You have nothing to fear, sister."

"I killed his uncle! How am I supposed to explain what happened, without telling him about magic? And the boy, he's a Druid! Arthur's father saw to the eradication of his people!"

Gwaine was at a loss for words, so he held her tightly, allowing her to sob into his chest. He met Gaius' gaze, and the older man shook his head sadly.

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Morgana woke to find Mordred perched at Merlin's desk, peering out the small window that sat above it that looked down at the square.

She could hear voices in the next room- the subdued tones of Gaius and Gwaine, and an anxious Iris.

She is afraid.

Morgana looked at the boy, who had spoken in her mind. "Afraid?" she repeated.

She killed that man, and now she must report to the king.

Morgana stood, her hands clasping together. "I must talk to Arthur," she said, before hesitating.

What could she say to Arthur to make him understand?

Walking from the room, Morgana saw her friend pacing a hole into the floor, her magical aura flared. When the red-haired sorceress spotted her friend, she stopped.

"The Druid boy?" Iris asked, looking over Morgana's shoulder.

Quietly, Mordred crept from the room, watching the others with wide eyes.

Iris nearly shuddered at his gaze, the image of him in a dark crown burning through her mind.

"We could hide his mark," Morgana said immediately. "Use a glamour."

"No," Iris said, clenching her fists, trying to ground herself. "No. I will... figure out what to say to Arthur."

"Iris..." Gwaine warned, looking at her sharply.

She shook her head. "No, Gwaine. This was my doing, and I will be the one to fix it."

"Wait until Merlin returns-,"

Iris interrupted him. "I will fix this," she said, as if she had not heard him. "Let me clean myself up."

Morgana pulled Mordred aside as Iris strode into Merlin's room, closing the door behind her.

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Arthur and Gwen were still sitting in the great hall when its doors opened once more.

Gwen stood quickly, rushing to embrace Iris as she walked inside.

Arthur stood as well, but did not move at first, eyeing her quietly.

Iris wore the blue dress that Gwen had given her when she had first arrived to Camelot. Her hair was pulled away from her face, spilling down her back. The only thing she wore on her person was her ring.

"How are you feeling?" Gwen asked her, guiding her friend to he seat across from Arthur.

"Fine," Iris said quietly. "Gaius gave me an elixir for the pain."

Gwen returned to Arthur's side, sitting down and folding her hands in front of her. "Well, we are glad you are doing better."

Iris turned her gaze to Arthur, her blueish eyes calm. "Sir Gwaine informed me that he gave you his report."

"Indeed," Arthur stated, his expression giving nothing away.

"How fairs the boy?" Gwen asked.

"He's all right," Iris said. "He was just cold and starved while he was in the cave where we found him."

Arthur and Gwen exchanged a glance.

"Iris," Arthur began slowly. "What happened after you left Camelot?"

"As you know, my lord, Lord Agravaine went missing after the attack on the castle." Iris thought about that day, and how much time had passed since then. "Rumor were spread saying he was hiding deep within the wood, then later in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. I... overheard some townsfolk say they spotted him on a dark horse just a few days before, and he had a small boy with him."

"So you decided to track him down, all because of a rumor," Arthur said in a flat tone.

Iris shook her head. "No, my king. I went into the woods with Merlin the other day to get away. I wanted to see the White Mountains and to find the rare herbs that grew at the lake near the foothills. When we came back, I... found signs of a horse having passed into the Valley. I thought if it were Agravaine, perhaps he had gotten lost. So I went off on my own after that, and Gwaine followed me, even when I told him not to.

In the Valley, we found a horse tied to a tree outside of a deep cave. Inside, Agravaine was holding a boy hostage. When we went to help, he attacked us. He lunged for Gwaine and the boy and I..."

Arthur leaned back in his seat. "I see."

Iris struggled to maintain eye contact, her teeth clenched together against the bile rising in her throat. She had been careful to match her side of the story to Gwaine's.

"I don't understand why my uncle would be in the Valley of the Fallen Kings," Arthur sighed, and Iris nearly slumped in her seat.

"After that man Smythe attacked us, and the other men at the castle, perhaps he thought it best to disappear," Gwen said.

Iris closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she could tell them it was all Agravaine, he was the mastermind behind it all. And now, with her latest vision, a terrible feeling told her that death did not spell the end for the dark lord.

"He was acting strangely before all of that," Arthur noted, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "I know he did not always get along with my father, but..."

Arthur looked at Iris again. "Is there anything else you could tell us, Iris?"

"Yes," Iris said quietly. "The boy that Agravaine had taken... he is a Druid boy, my lord."

Shock flashed across Arthur's expression, followed by confusion. "Why would my uncle kidnap a Druid?"

"I am not sure, my lord, but Gwaine and I found a dark book of spells and an enchanted blade within the cave," Iris said. Her hand covered the healed wound on her side.

The king did not miss her movement. "Is that what he attacked you with?"

Iris nodded. "The wound itself has healed, but the effects will last a while longer... Gaius said his elixir will help with the pain until I can... my body can heal itself."

"Magic and Druids," Arthur muttered, leaning back. "What was Agravaine thinking? After all that my father did?"

Iris looked down at his words, trying to ignore the pain in her heart at their implications. Another scar, she thought to herself.

"Iris, I must ask that you not put yourself into danger again," Arthur stated. "I know you are rather... fearless, but you are a serving girl, not a knight."

"What Arthur means to say, Iris, is that you have put yourself in harm's way before, to protect those you care about," Gwen interjected. "And if something were to happen to you, we would not be able to forgive ourselves."

Iris forced a smile as Arthur nodded in agreement.

When she left the royal couple in the hall, she knew that even if she were to obey their wishes, the fates had other plans for her destiny.

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Merlin found her later, standing along the wall that overlooked the town square, then the nearby woods.

The moon was peering out from behind the clouds, bathing her in moonlight.

"Iris," he said, moving to her side.

She looked at him, her eyes dark. "I had to do it," she whispered. "I had to lie to them."

"This isn't the first lie they've been told," Merlin reminded her gently, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"It's getting harder, Merlin," Iris said. "Gwen is like a sister to me, and Arthur..."

"I know," he sighed, stroking her hair soothingly.

"How did you do it, once you became friends? How did you look him in the eye and lie to him every day?"

Merlin looked away. "One day at a time," he said softly. "Because it's for the best."

"Do you think we will ever be able to tell them the truth?"

The sorcerer was quiet for a long time, his expression contemplative. "I do not know what the future holds for us," he finally said. "Perhaps one day, when Albion comes to be, then we can live freely. Right now, there is too much fear surrounding magic to be reasoned with."

Iris sighed, leaning against Merlin, wrapping her arms around his waist. She breathed in his scent, allowing it to calm her troubled thoughts.

"I wish it all were over," she confessed. "The future battle, the war against magic, all of it."

"It is, for now."

Iris squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the images of a crowned Mordred, with eyes that were not his own...

"For now," she agreed softly.

But not forever.

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Author's Note: Quick update in time (soft of) for the holidays!

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