WoodenOwl31: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter :)I apologize for any emotional distress lol.

The weeks went by again, and Emily did her best to not think about Lee or her father or anything that made her sad. It was the end of summer now, and on one particular evening, Miranda gave Andrea permission to deliver the Book.

"I've done something right," Andy said, excited. "She even called me Andrea!"

"Are you done?" Emily asked.

"Yes."

"All right. So the deal with the Book is this," Emily started, and she went through the entire process from start to finish, making sure Andy knew how important it was that she doesn't speak to anyone.

"I can do this," Andy said when she was finished.

"You better," Emily warned. When she left to go home, she looked back to see Andy sitting at her desk waiting for the Book to be ready to be delivered. Something told her that things were going to go wrong, but she ignored her gut and went home anyway. When she opened the apartment door and found Shadow standing there waiting, she didn't immediately tell the dog to go away. She had figured out that Shadow was missing Lee, that he was depressed. Just like she was.

One day you'll love that dog as much as I do.

Emily swallowed, remembering his words to her. For the first time ever, she bent to intentionally pet Shadow's head.

"I miss him too," she whispered. She didn't flinch when Shadow licked her hand. Then she stopped, ignored the hunger in her stomach, and went to her room to sleep.

...

"I can push you out," Barney commented. Lee turned to look at him.

"What?"

"We're flying over New York. I can just shove you out the door, and you can go find her."

"Stop it."

Barney gave his friend a meaningful look, but Lee ignored him. He wasn't giving up his job. He couldn't. He owed his parents. His life was spared, so he figured saving others' lives would somehow give him redemption for failing his parents.

"This mission is gonna be a bit longer than the others," Barney commented.

"Why?"

"There's someone we have to flush out first before we can get him. It's gonna take some undercover work. We've been looking for this guy for a while now. Tip came in where he might be. You're gonna draw him out by getting into his circles."

"Fine."

Lee had nothing waiting for him at home anyway. Maybe it was for the best he wasn't with Emily anymore. He wouldn't have to miss her the whole time he was gone. The thing was, though, that he missed her anyway.

...

Emily watched Andy come out of Miranda's office the next morning looking as though she had been emotionally and psychologically murdered. Emily could only imagine what Miranda did to her after seeing Andy watching her in her house with her husband the night before. Andy had told Emily of course, but not before the gossip ring had, and Emily had responded by asking Andy why she didn't just climb right into bed with the woman and demand a bedtime story. Honestly, what was wrong with her?! You drop the Book off and leave. Simple. Emily had then ripped into her about endangering the Paris trip. If Emily lost that trip on top of everything else, she would lose her mind. It was all that was keeping her going since Lee.

"I have to get a steak," Andy started. "And a manuscript for an unpublished book."

"And?" Emily asked, bored. This office drama was starting to get old.

"It's impossible."

"Steak is not impossible."

"The manuscript! That's what is impossible. I know the steak isn't," Andy said a bit snappish. She looked at her watch. "Oh, wait, Smith & Wollensky's doesn't open until 11:30. That means the steak is impossible after all."

Emily did her best to ignore the imminent volcano of tears, but she was surprised when none came. She looked at Andy then, thinking that maybe there was more to her than originally thought.

"Okay, I'm going. Wish me luck!" Andy called as she ran off.

"Couldn't if I wanted to," Emily retorted. She had a feeling Paris was going to get cancelled for her by lunchtime, and it greatly pissed her off.

...

"Who's the target?" Lee asked. Barney was looking through the binoculars.

"Jimmy DeMarko."

"What's his story?"

"Arms dealer. He supplies to gangs in the U.S.," Barney answered. "Among others."

"Why the undercover?"

"We need him to sell to us so we know where he hides his product."

"Right."

Lee fiddled with his knife in it's holster. Barney lowered the binoculars.

"How do you feel about the name Ernie Powers?"

"I hate it."

"You're welcome," Barney said, handing Lee his new I.D. to look at. Lee sighed. He didn't like doing undercover work so much. Unfortunately for him, he was the better candidate to do it. He went over his new identity and what he was supposed to do. He did his best to keep Emily out of his mind as much as possible.

...

Emily had just finished talking to Serena about Lee. They talked about him every day. Serena did her best to convince Emily she was making a mistake, but Emily refused to change her mind. After all, Serena didn't know what Lee did for work. She also hadn't told her friend about her weekend visit to Lee either. She knew it would only make Serena try to convince her harder to do something that she really did want to do in her heart of hearts. She just kept denying it for some reason.

"Is she here? Am I fired?!" Andy shrieked as she skidded into the office. Emily jumped to her feet, alarmed.

"I don't normally say this to people who work here," she started. "But you really need to stop and breathe for a minute."

She watched Andy rush in with the steak and set it up on Miranda's desk. Emily had a feeling of what was going to come, but she kept her mouth shut. Having Miranda's attention on Andy was helpful for her right now since she was barely keeping up with her own duties thanks to constantly thinking about Lee. Miranda stormed into her office then. Within moments, Miranda walked back out, giving Emily a look that said wonders. It said that if Andy failed to get the Harry Potter book, then Emily could expect to be demoted. Emily felt a bit afraid then. All her hard work would be for nothing. When Miranda was gone, Emily looked to see Andy defeated in the doorway of Miranda's office.

"You better get going," Emily said. Andy said nothing as she walked past her and out of the office.

...

Two weeks passed. Lee inserted himself into Demarko's circles, and he was going to be making an appearance at an event DeMarko was throwing. For some reason, it made him think of Emily's work party on New Year's. He stared at himself in his suit and tie in the mirror and ached with missing her. He hid his weapons on him and straightened his jacket. Barney was impressed with the progress Lee had already made with DeMarko, and he couldn't let him down. He went down to the street and hailed a cab. He couldn't stop thinking about what Emily was doing right in that moment. He hadn't spoken with Eric since he'd gone undercover. He missed hearing the updates. He hoped she was all right. As he rode in the cab, he kept thinking of their weekend together. He wondered if she thought about it still too.

...

"Oh my God," Emily moaned. She was lying on the couch surrounded by tissues.

"Just call in sick," Eric urged.

"I can't."

"Em, you're hacking and spewing phlegm all over the place. You gotta stay home."

"You don't miss work for Miranda."

"That's ridiculous. Em, call in sick."

"No," she said, struggling to get up. "I have to go. I'll take it easy, I promise."

"Yea right," Eric scoffed. He knew she was lying. She'd work just as hard and get sicker. He bit his tongue, though to avoid pissing her off any further. Emily went to work and suffered through the day. She was dreading the benefit that night. She hadn't told Eric about it because she had been sure he'd lock her in the apartment to prevent her from going.

"Is your cold any better?" Andy asked. Emily looked at her.

"No."

"Are you sure you can't go home?"

"Are you kidding? It's the benefit tonight, which I've been looking forward to for months by the way. I refuse to be sick. I'm going." It was true. She had been looking forward to it for months, but today she was dreading it. She didn't have the energy to go.

"Well, I hope you'll get through it."

"Don't forget drop off Miranda's Fendi bag. You can go home after that," Emily said, ignoring Andy's last comment.

"That's great," Andy smiled. "It's Nate's birthday tonight, and I'm gonna go to the bakery..."

"Uh huh, yea, I'm hearing a whole lot of this," Emily said, pinching her fingers together repeatedly, "when what I really want to hear is this." She pressed her fingers together to indicate no more talking. Her headache was getting bigger, and she didn't want to think of Andy doing something nice for her boyfriend when Emily no longer had a boyfriend to do something nice for. Lee was right. This job was making her mean. She didn't care anymore since he wasn't there to see it.

"Bye then," Andy said, leaving.

"I love this job. Girls kill for this job. I love it, I love it, I love it," Emily said to herself. She was feeling more and more that just maybe she didn't. Miranda came into the office after Andy had left and looked at Emily.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Just a cold," Emily answered, trying to disguise it as best as she could. Miranda gave her a disgusted look.

"You think you're going to be sufficient tonight, do you?" she asked.

"Yes," Emily replied quickly. What was Miranda implying?

"I think not," Miranda said. "Call Andrea. Now."

She went into her office, and Emily growled to herself as she called Andy. Having Miranda not trust her was bad.

"Hello?" Andy said, surprised.

"Get back here. Now," Emily ordered. She tapped her foot impatiently until Andy came through the door again.

"What?"

"Come on," Emily said, going into Miranda's office.

"You both need to be prepped for the guest list before the benefit starts," Miranda said.

"I thought only the first assistant went to the benefit," Andy started.

"Only when the first assistant hasn't decided to become a host of the black plague," Miranda cut her off, giving Emily a look. Emily stood as tall as she could to help her not feel so cut down to the core.

"You'll assist Emily. That's all."

They both left her office, and Andy began to instantly panic. Emily pulled out the binders and dropped them on Andy's desk.

"You better get started," she said.

"Both of them?" Andy asked, startled. "All these people? By tonight?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you think the benefit was only a gathering of five people? Yes, all of those people," Emily snapped. She was already dreading the evening. Andy was going to screw it up so bad she just knew it. Emily would be lucky to see Paris after tonight.

...

Emily had managed to escape the apartment without her brother noticing. She knew he'd never let her leave the house as ill as she was. She had on the dress she'd worn when Lee first kissed her along with the necklace he'd given her to match it because she needed to feel him with her tonight. She waited for Andy outside the building, and she was actually surprised to see Andy looking decent in her dress.

"You actually look chic," Emily said, giving her a compliment. She was feeling a bit unlike her usual bitter self on the cold medication.

"Thanks, Em. You look really great yourself. Have you lost weight?" Andy noted. Emily swelled with pride. She had been working hard. Ever since Lee had left, she gave up on eating.

"Thank you! I have this new diet I'm following for the Paris trip. I don't eat anything unless I feel I'm going to pass out, then I have some cheese," Emily explained. She noticed Andy's concerned expression but dismissed it. The only person who was allowed to worry about her weight and eating was Lee, and he was no longer there to notice.

"It seems to be working," Andy said.

"Well, I just need one more tiny stomach flu to help me reach my goal weight," Emily told her. In all honesty, it wasn't the flu that was doing it for her, but she wasn't about to tell Andy that. Emily had only done it twice really. She didn't have a problem. She didn't. She was fine. Oh God, her head was about to explode. Her headache hadn't left her yet. The evening only got worse as Emily followed Miranda through the crowds. Then disaster struck when Emily couldn't remember a man's name. Andy saved the day, but Emily knew she was going to pay. She just knew it. Her heart sank as Miranda gave her a look, one that Emily could decipher to mean she was going to get some kind of punishment. She wanted to cry. She wanted Lee. God, everything was such a mess.

...

Everything had been going well until it didn't. Lee was drinking his beer and socializing with the other bad guys when he was grabbed. He was far outnumbered, and he failed to escape. He was being held onto by six men when DeMarko walked towards him.

"Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?" he asked.

"I don't know what..." Lee started, but Demarko punched him in the face before he finished.

"Remove him," DeMarko ordered. "I know Barney Ross is behind this, and I will not rest until I find him."

Duh, duh, duhhhhh. Stay tuned!