Q is for Quiddity

"Whatever makes something the type that it is"

It may only have been early morning, but Tiger was already awake and trying to make her way through the auction house to put the dossier in the dollhouse that her contact bought the day before. Although the people who bought things from the different auctions this week had been told to come pick them up as soon as possible, the warehouse was filled with all sorts of things from the different auctions. There was the furniture from day one, as well as musical instruments, china, toys, and the costumes for today's auction. Tiger was only glad that they had the sense not to stable the cattle from a few days ago here as well.

Still, the costume auction was making things around the warehouse interesting. For one, she had not thought that costumes would be a particular German industry, but the place was filled with racks and racks of them. There was everything from ghosts and werewolves to pirate hats and trick swords. For another thing, it seemed that everyone who was working the auction seemed to be wearing a costume as well, and Tiger soon realized that she would need to put on a costume as well if she wanted any hope of not being caught. Clearly regular clothes would mark someone who was not supposed to be there. The warehouse was not very busy, but it would be best to prevent a problem.

Tiger looked around quickly and grabbed the first costume that looked like it would fit her. It wasn't as ridiculous as some of the costumes in this place, though it did have a bright-purple shirt paired with a furry vest.

As she made her way around the warehouse, she realized that there had to be a system of organization for everything, but she could not figure out what it was, and unfortunately it was a big warehouse. She was strolling through one of the aisles when she heard footsteps approaching her, so she turned around and was surprised to see Schultz approaching. He was also wearing a costume, but he was easy to recognize.

Tiger was about to turn away and continue browsing on her own when an idea struck her. She might recognize Schultz, but he probably did not recognize her, and she knew that the men at Stalag XIII often found him as a good source for information. Maybe she could do the same.

She waved at Schultz, and he approached, seeming nearly as happy as he had yesterday. "Is there something I can do for you, Frauline?" he asked.

"Ja. I am working with the costume auction, but I came yesterday for the toy auction as well. I did not win anything, but I would love to see some of the toys up close so I can think about what to give my little niece for her birthday."

"Ah, a little girl. How old is she?" Schultz asked, completely taken in by her story and clearly eager to tell her about the toys.

"She is eight," Tiger replied, lying to try to steer Schultz to the idea of a dollhouse.

"Come," Schultz motioned for her to follow him, and he started showing her all the toys he thought an eight-year-old girl would be interested in. Tiger was a little annoyed that he did not take her straight to the dollhouse, but she did not ask for it specifically. She did not want to draw any attention to it, just in case the mission was compromised. But at last he made his way over to it, and Tiger was sure it was the right one, not only because it was the only dollhouse present but also because it had a tag on it saying it was bought by buyer number 26, her contact.

But just as the two were coming even with the dollhouse and Tiger was debating with herself whether to try to distract Schultz and put the dossier inside it now or to come back later, she heard a door slam open on the other side of the warehouse. Both she and Schultz turned to see what it was, and both stood stock-still in complete shock.

Coming through the door and making their way straight towards them were Colonel Hogan and Corporal Newkirk, with Hogan dragging Newkirk after him by the arm. Hogan was dressed as a civilian, and Newkirk as a Luftwaffe guard, and Tiger knew there was no chance that Schultz would not recognize them.

"Tiger!" Hogan yelled happily, his voice resounding through the warehouse in a way that made Tiger glad Schultz and she seemed to be the only people in it.

"C-C-Colonel Hogan! Corporal Newkirk! What are you doing here?" Schultz stammered as the two of them came to a stop only a few feet away.

"Tiger, my love, I had to come find you. The stars declared that we were meant to be together, and so we shall not be separate!"

Tiger stared at him in shock for a moment as she processed what he was saying, but just as he moved to come closer to her, she pulled a small gun out of her handbag and aimed it at him. Colonel Hogan would never behave this way, showing absolutely no regard for secrecy or the importance of their work, and that meant that this was not Colonel Hogan. She did not know Corporal Newkirk as well, but he seemed to be just as horrified by Hogan's behavior as she was, so she hoped she could get an explanation from him. Schultz, meanwhile, was watching the whole scene with slack-jawed surprise.

"Who are you?" Tiger asked Hogan. "You may look like someone I know, but he would never act like this."

"Of course he would never act like I do," replied the man who looked like Hogan. "He is too easily distracted by things that do not truly matter, like the war, to put you first. But I am not like him, and I swear I will always give you the attention you deserve."

In the background, Tiger could hear Schultz muttering, "I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know nothing," but she ignored that for the moment.

"What has happened to him?" Tiger asked Newkirk, hoping he would give a more sensible answer than the man who had fallen to his knees while holding out a few flowers that looked suspiciously like the ones she had seen outside the building.

"Well, Ma'am, I'm not sure what to tell you. It isn't the Gov', if that's what you mean, but I'm not sure how to tell you more than that without sounding like I've lost my sanity," Newkirk told her.

"I think you should try," she replied, glad that she was right about this not being Colonel Hogan but wondering more than ever what was actually happening.

"This is Robert the Romantic, as he likes to call himself. Now I don't know how much Schultz here has heard about what's happened at Stalag XIII since he went on leave, but a lot of funny things have happened."

"What are you talking about, Newkirk?" Schultz asked. "You are the people who cause the monkey business at the camp. How could something funny happen that you did not cause?"

"You remember Colonel Crittendon, right?"

"Ja," Schultz agreed, and he seemed to accept that as a reasonable answer to his question. Tiger had heard of Crittendon before, due to all her work with the underground, and from her understanding, he was not the best man to have around if you wanted things to go to plan.

"Let's just say that Colonel Crittendon did something that led to the real Colonel Hogan getting duplicated. This is one of the duplicates."

"How can that happen?" Tiger asked, knowing that it did not really make sense but that it did explain this Hogan's behavior.

"Ma'am, if I knew that, then none of this would have gotten this far," Newkirk replied, and Tiger was left with the dilemma of what to do next.