Hey guys. I feel like my writing has become a little dull, and although I have plenty of other chapters ready on my laptop, I'm still a little unsure about them. I don't really plan on abandoning this story or anything, but I'm really insecure about my writing and sometimes feel like it doesn't interest other readers. I'll keep trying though. Here's chapter 18.

Apparently, Dimitri hadn't heard everything Damian had told me. He had heard everything about my vulnerability to the strigoi, and if it was possible, he was even more protective of me now than before. The part that he hadn't caught onto was Nevaeh.

"He had information about her too—important information. She's a lot more valuable than I thought she was."

"Valuable?" he asked. I decided to explain that to him too. He cared about Nevaeh just as much as I did, and the more protection she had, the better. Like me, he was shocked to hear the news. None of us thought she could be shadow-kissed.

"She's like you," Dimitri said when I finished.

"Yes. Dimitri...no one can know about this. Please promise me you'll keep this a secret. For her sake." I leaned over, looking at Nevaeh where she slept. The more I thought about it, the more things started to make sense. Shadow-kissed. I couldn't believe I never figured it out before. This was why we were so attached to each other. We both came back from the dead.

"Like I said before. Your secrets are always safe with me," he promised. My hand found his, and our fingers intertwined.

"It makes sense," I said, speaking my thoughts out loud.

"Hm?"

"That she's shadow-kissed. It's why she's so attached to me. Why I'm so protective of her. There was always this strange connection between us, and now I understand why."

Dimitri considered the thought. "If she really is, then yes, I suppose it does make sense."

I sighed, sitting against my seat as I tried to ignore the slight thirst for blood in my throat.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dimitri asked me. He had his eyes on me now, studying every inch of my face. "You're so pale. And your skin..." His hand reached up, letting the back of his fingers feel my forehead. "So cold."

"I haven't fed in three days," I whispered.

"Three days," Dimitri repeated. "That's a long time. Aren't you thirsty?"

I nodded, pressing a hand to my throat. "I've been thirsty all morning, but I can handle it for now. I think I should just try to sleep."

"Are you sure?" Dimitri asked. Even if I wasn't sure, what could he really do? I needed blood, but it wasn't like we really had any sources here.

"I'm fine, Comrade. I'm tired anyways." That, at least, was true. My sleep schedule had been all over the place lately. I curled closer to the window this time and closed my eyes, trying to block out my instincts.

It didn't really work. I spent at least an hour with my eyes closed, but sleep never came. As much as I tried not to think about my craving for blood, my physical reactions didn't go away.

"Excuse me." I stood up from where I was sitting and very quickly ran to the washroom. After locking the door, I looked at myself in the mirror. The sight before me was terrifying. My skin had gone extremely pale—so pale that anyone who saw me would probably think I had turned into a full-blown strigoi.

I pulled my lips back, noticing the soreness in my gums as my sharp fangs started to come out. My eye colour was slowly turning into a dark shade of red. I wished I had imagined the whole thing, but everything here was real. I was so thirsty, and I still had another three hours to go. Three dangerous hours.

I leaned against the wall with my head in my hands as I tried to make everything go away. I shut my eyes, concentrating as hard as I could.

Remember, Rose, you're in control. You are not a monster.

For a whole ten minutes, I stood there, taking deep breaths. I glanced at myself in the mirror and let out a breath of relief when I saw that my eyes had gone back to normal. My fangs had retracted back into my gums, but my skin remained pale.

When I decided I was ready, I walked out of the small washroom. Dimitri had gotten out of his seat and was now waiting right outside, causing me to nearly run into him. His immediate concern told me he could see my unusually pale skin.

"What's going on?" he asked. I didn't answer at first as he tipped my chin up and looked me over. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so...ghostly."

"I'm low on blood," I told him. "All I can think about is..." I trailed off, my gaze resting on his neck. Without warning, I pressed him up against the wall, leaning against his body. I could literally hear the blood rushing through his veins. It was so strong now—the urge to bite him. Just one bite. That's all I wanted. If I could just—

"Rose!"

I was pulled out of my little trance, now noticing that Dimitri had grabbed both of my wrists in his hands. He was watching me with caution, but I didn't smell any fear on him.

"Oh my god," I said in disbelief. Dimitri sighed and released my hands. I covered my mouth as guilt started to overwhelm me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—I didn't—"

"Relax. You didn't do anything." Dimitri gripped my shoulders as I started hyperventilating.

"I almost did...I could've hurt you. I could've bitten you. Dimitri, I'm dangerous."

"Roza, stop. Stop this. You're just low on blood right now. This isn't your fault, okay?"

My voice sounded pained now. "No...no, you don't understand. I could've bitten you if you didn't stop me. I have to...I have to stay in here. I have to make sure I can't get out." I started to turn towards the washroom again, but Dimitri stopped me before I could even open the door.

"Rose, you're not locking yourself in there. Come with me," he said. When I didn't move, he sighed and grabbed my arm, leading us down the aisle. Luckily, nobody else had seen my little outburst, and most of the other guardians were sleeping. Dimitri led us back to our seats and forced me to sit back down. I began to protest, but only earned myself a warning glare from him.

"Stay there," he ordered. "And don't you dare move." His tone was calm but strict, so I obeyed him. Well, after rolling my eyes at him that is. He wasn't surprised by my attitude in the slightest. My mood was always off when I was low on blood.

I was curious as to what he was doing, but when he came back to our seat with a syringe in his hand, I cringed away. I was still used to needles, but it had been a while since I'd had anything injected into me.

"Oh no. No way, Comrade. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you—" I started to crawl over the back of my seat, but Dimitri was quick to react as he grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me back down. My stubbornness was really starting to get the better of me.

"Don't," he growled. "I'm trying to help you."

"Then you can help me without that thing," I protested, eyeing the syringe dubiously as he took off the cap. He proceeded anyways and gently grabbed my arm, positioning the tip of the needle below my shoulder. In that moment, I immediately regretted wearing a T-shirt.

I shied away again, but this time, it wasn't out of stubbornness or anger. The last time I had anything injected into me, I was a prostitute, and I had been sedated to be used. That obviously wasn't the case here, but it still triggered all those horrible memories.

Dimitri seemed to realize this as well and paused what he was doing. "Roza, look at me," he said softly. I looked up at him, trying to hide my stupid emotions.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

I nodded. "Of course I do."

"Then you know I'm not going to hurt you. Nobody will hurt you. You'll be okay," Dimitri said. I could hear the sincerity in his voice and started to relax.

"Okay," I finally whispered. Dimitri positioned the needle again before inserting it into the skin and pressing the stuff in. Unlike the way my pimps used to sedate me, Dimitri was gentle and clearly knew what he was doing. It still made me wince very slightly, but I stayed still until he was finished.

"Good," Dimitri said before putting the syringe away. He buckled my seat belt before putting the thick blanket back on my torso. I started to feel a little dizzy as he wrapped an arm around me, letting me rest against his chest.

"That sedative wasn't just meant to make my muscles relaxed, was it?" I asked, my words slightly muffled by a yawn. Whatever thirst I had before was now replaced by the major urge to sleep.

"Nope," Dimitri replied. I groaned as my eyelids started to shut.

"Meanie," I mumbled. I heard Dimitri chuckle before he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Sure enough, Dimitri was there when I woke up. I expected myself to wake up in the infirmary, but instead, I found myself in my own bed. I was even more surprised to find Lissa there too. She had been talking to Dimitri, but their conversation was cut short when she saw me roll onto my side.

"And she's finally awake," she said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. The familiar feeling in my throat was still there, but this time, it was much stronger. It almost felt like a burning sensation.

"How do you feel?" Dimitri asked me. I slowly moved into a sitting position, gripping my neck. I couldn't even get words out.

"Here." Lissa reached behind her, revealing a blood bag. Before she could even pass it to me, I snatched it from her hand and tore the tube open. Both of them watched me in astonishment as I started gulping the liquid down.

"Well that was fast," Lissa commented with a slight smile. I sagged against my headboard in relief as the blood already started to make me feel better. I had my eyes closed for the most part, but when I finished drinking the entire thing, I opened my eyes again. Lissa and Dimitri's expressions changed, and I knew in that moment that my eyes must have changed.

"I'm sorry." I immediately turned away, trying to hide my face with my hands. It was stupid, really, because it was almost impossible to hide from these two.

"Hey, don't do that," Lissa chastised, leaning over and tilting my face back towards them.

"Please, you don't want to see this," I whined, still keeping my eyes closed.

"Rose," Dimitri said. "Remember, we love you. We're not going think any differently of you."

"I'm not ready," I said. Would I ever really be ready? I was so insecure about my eyes and didn't want anyone to see them—at least not now.

"Okay. We won't push you," Dimitri said. "But you can't hide this forever."

"I know," I murmured, trying to get myself under control. It was such a strange feeling when my eyes changed colour. I couldn't really describe how it felt, but I always knew when they were changing. In this moment, they were going back to their natural shade of brown. As soon as I was normal again, I looked back to find Lissa handing me another bag.

"How did you get these?" I asked her.

"The receptionist gave them to me. I mean, I'm a moroi, so they have to."

"What about you? You need blood too."

Lissa smiled. "I already fed earlier today. Dimitri took me while you were sleeping."

I nodded, relaxing a little as I sipped on the little tube. Now that I had everything under control, I could drink it normally instead of feasting on it like a hungry cave man.

"I should probably give you two some privacy," Dimitri offered, getting up from Lissa's bed.

"That would be great," Lissa said before I could protest. "Thank you for staying with us though."

"Of course," he said with a small smile. When he saw my pout, he walked over and grabbed my chin between his fingers before giving me a light hearted kiss. I heard Lissa shift uncomfortably where she was sitting and couldn't help but giggle against Dimitri's mouth.

"I'm still here, you know," Lissa said. Dimitri and I pulled away before he left the room.

"Spill," Lissa ordered as soon as the door was shut. I explained everything that happened at the royal court while occasionally sipping on the blood. Her worry was starting to rise, and by the time I was finished, she was almost in disbelief.

"Wait," she said slowly. "This means your life is in danger. You need...you need protection."

"Lissa, I'm fine. I'm the one who does the protecting, remember? I can take care of myself."

"Rose! I'm serious! Whoever knows about what you are will target you!"

"I know," I said in distress. I got out of bed and started pacing, running a hand through my hair. "Honestly, my safety is the least of my concerns right now. What I am worried about is everyone else. If they come here, they could hurt the people I care about. And those girls still stuck in the business—I want to help them. Unfortunately, everyone else that had connections to my abductors are in Washington State—at least that I know of. They could be all over the place for all I know."

"Isn't your dad helping out with that? Finding those girls, I mean."

"Yes, but I want to help. I hate having to sit back and watch everyone else get their hands dirty."

Lissa stepped in front of me, placing her hands on my shoulders. "Why can't you just accept help?"

"I don't want to feel like some baby that needs to be taken care of. I'm perfectly fine." At this point, I was kind of lying to myself. Most of the time, I wasn't fine, and I refused to talk to people about it. Dimitri and Lissa...well, I knew I could be open with them, but even then, I didn't want them to constantly worry about me. I was just going to be a burden to them.

"I don't care how much you try to push your feelings away," Lissa said fiercely. "I get that you want to be strong all the time, and I love you for it, but you're still human."

"Half-human," I corrected, wondering how I even had the audacity to make a smart-ass comment in a moment like this.

"Whatever!" Lissa rasped. "Just know, I'm here for you. You've been through so much—more than you may want to admit to yourself. If you need to cry or rant or whatever, I'm here."

I thought of telling her I was fine again, but shut the thought down and instead threw my arms around her. She hadn't been expecting it at all, but responded in an instant and squeezed me in her arms.

"There we go," Lissa said in relief. I gave her one last long squeeze before pulling back to face her. Lissa grabbed my face and kissed the top of my head. "I just want you to be okay, Rose."

"I am," I stressed. While I wasn't totally sure of myself, I didn't want to discuss my problems any longer. "Why don't we call our friends? We can do something fun."

"I mean, if it helps to get your mind off of things, sure! I'll call Christian." I had no idea what we could really do on campus, but anything to get my mind off of my problems sounded great.

I called Adrian and Eddie, and within just a few minutes, all three boys showed up to our dorm.

"How did you guys all get here?" I asked. "Aren't there matrons?"

"Magic," Adrian said with a wink. I realized his comment was literal, and it didn't take me long to figure out what he meant.

"Did you compel them?" I asked him.

"To hang out with you? Of course," Adrian said shamelessly. "Why don't we play a drinking game? Here's how it goes: take a shot every time you—"

"Absolutely not," Eddie said. "Not to be a buzz kill, but I'd really like to walk out of this academy without a school suspension on my record." Looking at me, he sighed sympathetically. "No offence."

I rolled my eyes. "None taken."

"Well..." Adrian said slowly. "If you've got any ideas, Little Dhampir, please share."

I thought about it, realizing there really wasn't much we could do at the academy. Well, at least without getting in trouble. I had been keeping a good streak so far with following school rules, but I was missing out on the fun.

There were some rooms on campus that were no longer used as classrooms but instead for storage. A lot of students snuck in there to hook up, and some of them even went in to do drugs. Maybe I could even get my moroi friends to practice their magic as a defence weapon. While Lissa and Adrian specialized in spirit, they could still practice with other elements even if it wasn't their best asset. If we could just sneak into one of the abandoned rooms...it'd be perfect. Eddie and I could act as their targets.

"Oh no," Christian groaned. "You have that look on your face again. This can't be good."

"Do I even want to know what you're thinking?" Eddie asked. I stayed silent, still thinking it over. Lissa and Adrian needed to learn to defend themselves. Christian was pretty stable with his fire magic, and I had more than enough confidence that he could take down strigoi. His killings from the major attack a few months back was pure evidence that he was capable of fighting. Lissa and Adrian though...well, spirit magic wasn't going to be of much use in situations like that. I highly doubted any of them would ever have to face strigoi with so many guardians protecting them, but it didn't hurt to learn some basic fighting skills. Plus, I was pretty sure they all agreed that moroi should use magic to their advantage. They could defend themselves against me too. God forbid I ever went out of control and hurt them by accident.

I didn't think twice. "How do you guys feel about learning how to fight?"

What did you think? Please, please leave a review (although if you don't its fine). I still have more chapters already written which I plan on posting. A lot of ideas pop into my head but I'm just a little skeptical right now with my work. Idk, I have a tendency to want to please others so maybe that's why haha. Anyways, I do hope you guys at least somewhat enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!