The days after Faith's full confession of her past to Buffy had been tense for a while. Buffy was having difficulty reconciling Faith's past actions with the circumstances that had led her to take such drastic action. Buffy knew on some intellectual level that Faith had suffered in ways that Buffy could never even imagine, and likely never would be able to comprehend. On the other hand, her gut instincts told her that what Faith had done was wrong. Murder was never acceptable, under any circumstances.

It had been one of Willow's regrets that reminded Buffy just how precarious her moral standing was. She had kept Faith's story private, but she had tried to broach the subject of if it was ever okay to kill a human, in any circumstance. Willow had started off with legal examples of self-defense that were justifiable by human law, but when it became clear that Buffy was talking about Faith, Willow confessed to something that took Buffy back.

Willow had set the Buffybot on Faith to keep her from getting in the way of bringing Buffy back to life. That wasn't the worst of it, however. Willow had apparently dressed and made up the robot to look exactly the way Buffy did when she went to Faith's apartment, armed with Faith's knife, with the express intent of killing Faith. And apparently, Faith had shared her memory of the event with Willow and Tara to drive home just how wrong Willow had been.

Willow assured Buffy that she had learned her lesson, and mother of all strangeness, but Willow seemed to think that Faith really had turned herself around. The people she'd hurt, Willow had said, were the only ones who could offer or withhold forgiveness for anything Faith had done to them. The talk had taught Buffy something about Judaism as well. Willow might be a practicing Wiccan now, but some of her childhood lessons stuck with her.

According to Willow, in Jewish law, before you could ask forgiveness from God, you had to ask forgiveness from the human beings you had wronged. Buffy wasn't sure that she had been looking for that answer, or anything like it, but it helped to put things in perspective.

Buffy wasn't God, not even close. And while Faith had wronged her in the past, Buffy had forgiven her. She hadn't expressly told this to Faith, but there it was. As for the people Faith had killed, Buffy imagined that there would come a time when Faith would be able to ask for their forgiveness, but hopefully that day would be a long time in the coming. What was important was perspective. Whatever Faith had done to others, it wasn't Buffy's place to condone or condemn her. And while it was easy to voice that logic aloud, it was harder to put it to practice in her heart.

Another week passed, and Buffy had felt a bit easier as she'd fallen back into a routine. Faith was around, looking after not just Sunnydale, but truly starting to feel like a regular fixture in the household. Buffy wasn't quite sure if she was ready to call Faith 'family' yet, but it felt like that might be the case sometime soon. Both Slayers were helping Willow to get through her personal crisis, one step at a time. Faith had tried to tell Willow that magic in and of itself wasn't bad at all, and what mattered was Willow's intent while using it. Buffy had been so proud of her best friend when she'd insisted that she wasn't ready to use magic yet without being tempted to misuse it, and she insisted on readjusting her lifestyle to one without magic at all.

Tara hadn't been by yet, but Faith kept visiting her to keep her up to date on things. Buffy was more than a little surprised at how fast and how well Faith and Tara had hit it off as friends, and privately, Buffy wondered if there wasn't more going on than just friendship.

Of course, that would almost be a relief if it meant that Buffy could somehow forget what Faith had confessed in song, and it would make Buffy feel cleaner if she could slay with Faith without making out with her when the thrill of the hunt got the better of them. For Buffy, it was purely physical. It was release of a kind she was just beginning to explore with someone who she trusted implicitly not to harm her. And that implicit trust was strange enough on its own, but it was there on a deep enough level that it simply could not be refuted.

And now, all of that had to be put the wayside as Buffy and Faith walked from the Magic Box towards City Hall. Despite her progress, Buffy still didn't Willow alone by herself or with Dawn, so she'd walked them both to the Magic Box where Anya could keep an eye on them. Xander was actually starting to make a decent living as a carpenter, and as a businesswoman, Anya was keen on educating potential customers and keeping them from tampering with the merchandise. It was an unlikely combination that made her a strangely ideal chaperone.

All of that couldn't keep Buffy's discomfort at bay as she went with Faith to meet with the prosecution attorneys. Buffy was far from the biggest fan of law enforcement, and she wasn't the one who had actually been to jail. Faith seemed calm on the outside at least, and while Buffy imagined that she must be screaming on the inside, Faith's quiet confidence made Buffy feel a bit more at ease.

Buffy and Faith had both worn their ordinary street clothes, and Buffy felt immediately self-conscious when she sat down across a table from two men in impeccably-tailored suits. "Thank you for coming, Miss Summers. Miss Lehane."

"Sure thing," Buffy said with an ease she didn't feel. "So, I'm guessing we're here to go over some stuff before the actual trial, make sure we remember everything right, etcetera and so forth, Mister…?"

"Russel. And this is my partner, Mister Lloyd."

Buffy noticed that neither of the lawyers had shared their first names, and she wasn't sure what that said about them, but she nodded and shook their hands all the same. "Mr. Russel. Mr. Lloyd."

"Yes, so that's half the reason you're both here," Russel said as he sat down and took some folders out of a briefcase. "The other half – more than half, really – is about how we're going to convince the jury that either of you are credible witnesses. To be frank, there are more than a few unflattering things in both of your files. Miss Summers, you've been involved with a number of disciplinary incidents during your school years, which is to say nothing of your record, Miss Lehane."

Faith looked ready to attack the men, but Buffy put a hand on her shoulder to ease her sister Slayer. "Sorry, but I'm a bit confused," Buffy said. "Stuff that we did in the past, that's been settled and dealt with legally… What does that have to do with this case?"

"Legally speaking, nothing at all," Mr. Lloyd said. "However, the defense is likely to use your pasts to try to make you out to be unstable and unreliable. All they need is reasonable doubt to get these guys off the hook, and if you're going to testify, then the defense is going to use your past legal troubles to try and make you look like the bad guys, paving the way for the defendants to go free."

Faith finally broke her silence. "But it's not like we were the only ones there. There were plenty of people in the bank that day. The customers, the employees, you gotta tell me we're not the only witnesses, right?"

"No, you're not," Mr. Russel confirmed. "And normally, this case would be open and shut, and the prosecution would have an easy win. To put it quite frankly, you're the biggest risk to this case, and we want to come up with a strategy to make sure that you don't do anything to let these three guys go free."

Now it was Faith's turn to put a hand on Buffy's shoulder to reassure her. "We're the good guys, B. We just gotta make sure that nobody convinces the jury that we're not. We know we're the good guys, so we tell the truth, right?"

"Well, Miss Lehane," Russel said, "it's not just telling the truth, but how you tell the truth. So let's start with the three defendants." The lawyer opened a folder and laid it out in front of Buffy and Faith. There were three mugshots with names attached to them. "Do either of you recognize any of these three men?"

Buffy and Faith each said "Yes" and "No," respectively, at the same time. Faith turned to Buffy. "Well, I guess it's your turn, B. You know these guys?"

"Yes," Buffy said. "I'm pretty sure that at one time or another, I was in the same high school class as each of them."

"Miss Summers, do you have any personal relationships with any of the three defendants? Or have you in the past?"

Buffy shrugged. "I'm not sure I'd call it 'personal,' but I remember experiences with Warren Mears and Jonathan Levinson. This one, Andrew Wells… He looks vaguely familiar, but if I met him, he must not have made a strong impression."

"What can you tell me about your experience with Mr. Mears?" Lloyd asked.

Buffy took a second to steady her breathing. "I didn't really know Warren in high school. I think he only attended for a semester or so. I met him last year, and got a bit mixed up in him breaking up with his ex, I think."

"Mixed up in what way?" Russel asked.

Buffy laughed. "This is gonna sound crazy, but you're going to have to believe me. Warren is, I would have to say, a genius. I'm talking brainpower only, not the morality to use that brainpower well. He made a walking, talking, life-like robot as a girlfriend and, I imagine, a sex toy. He left it at whatever college campus he was at, only it followed him back, looking for him. The robot was built to resemble a girl named April, and she – it! – was slavishly loyal to him. It had been programmed with a ton of misogynistic crap about how to be the perfect girlfriend. I was at a club when the robot appeared and someone said something it didn't like, and it threw him aside like he was nothing before moving on.

"It kept asking for Warren, so I looked him up, found him, and tried to get him to do something about April. When his girlfriend found out about it, she broke up with him, and Warren ordered April to attack me so he could get away from his personal mess. I ended up fine, but April ran out of power soon afterwards, and that was that."

"To be clear, Miss Summers, you're saying that Mr. Mears intentionally used a machine of his own making to attempt to kill you?"

Something about the lawyer's tone of voice convinced Buffy that he was actually on her side, and she suddenly felt a lot better. "I don't' remember if he said 'Kill Buffy' or 'Keep her busy' or 'Attack her' or whatever. I just know that he ordered her to do something to me to keep me from intervening."

"Did Mr. Mears have reason to fear any particular type of intervention?"

And just like that, Buffy's guard was up again. "What do you mean?"

"To be frank, Ms. Summers, you have a record of juvenile delinquency that any decent lawyer could use to-"

"Actually, that part's bogus," Faith said.

"I'm sorry? Could you elaborate, Miss Lehane?"

"Sure thing, Russel. Or is it Lloyd? Mister Russel or Lloyd or whatever! I'm bad with names today. Point is, I worked in City Hall for a while. You have records of that, right?" Faith said.

"We do. You were listed as a 'Personal Aide to Mayor Wilkins.' Does that have any relevance to this case?"

"It does," Faith said.

"It does?!" Buffy asked, her surprise more than audible.

Faith sighed. "The mayor liked things to run smoothly in Sunnydale. He had a certain way of doing things. If he thought there was a problem in his city, he'd try to handle it quietly, without causing too much trouble. I remember he had some conversations with the principal at the high school, and the two of them would discuss Buffy specifically. The principal was an asshole, and for some reason, the mayor listened to him go on and on about how Buffy Summers was trouble. I only saw the guy once or twice, and I can tell you that Snyder was just a mean piece of crap who liked to pick on people. But the Mayor respected him, and so he'd offer his help in doing whatever he could to make Buffy look bad. I'm guessing the Mayor thought he was helping to stop a possible problem in Sunnydale before she got out of school."

Buffy's jaw was hanging agape, and Faith laughed when she turned and saw. "Don't tell me you hadn't figured that out, B? You didn't really think it was just Snyder putting you through all that crap, did you?"

Russel was rapidly writing down notes, and when he stopped, he turned to Faith. "If what you're saying is true, why didn't you speak up or do anything about it, Miss Lehane?"

Faith laughed out loud, and she kept laughing for at least a minute.

"I'm not sure I see the humor, Miss Lehane," Lloyd said.

Faith calmed herself down. "When I first got to Sunnydale, I was living in a dirt cheap motel. It was all I could afford. The mayor gave me a job, gave me a place to stay, he gave me basically everything. You could say he bought my loyalty, and you wouldn't be wrong. But even if I didn't like the guy - and I did like him – and even if I knew for a fact that he was doing something shady (which I wouldn't, since I don't speak legalese), who would I go to? This is a small town and everything leads back to City Hall, and back then, the Mayor was City Hall. And even if he wasn't the law of the town, I still would've kept his secrets."

"That's quite a bit of loyalty for a 'bought' woman, Miss Lehane."

"Well, it was more than that," Faith said. "It started out with me needing a job, him seeing that I needed a better place, and then he came through for me. But then we got to know each other, and he kinda became the dad I never had. And if you believe his will, he saw me as a daughter. He left a lot to me after he died, and I was in a coma at the time. Guy gave me more than almost anyone else in the world."

"'Almost' anyone else?"

Faith nodded. "Buffy here. If money could buy it, Wilkins gave it to me. If money had nothing to with, I owe it all to her."

"But you just said that Mayor Wilkins thought of you as family, and you felt the same. Am I wrong?"

Buffy looked to Faith, wondering what her answer would be.

Faith returned Buffy's gaze. "The mayor gave me a lot, but he also took a lot. I didn't realize how much until Buffy showed me what I'd lost in the process. Money comes and goes. What Buffy's given me, that's forever."

Buffy had to look away. She couldn't let anyone see her face. She was worse than worthless. She was a pitiful creature who had to rely on the basest of impulses to even feel moderately alive. She used Spike and Faith both just to feel something. Using Spike made her feel dirty. Using Faith made her feel worse. Spike might be a soulless demon, and because of that, she could use him and discard him, even if she was lying down in the gutter. But hearing Faith's very soulful adoration of her, and knowing that she was using her… Buffy didn't know how much longer she could take it. Just being in the same room as Faith…

Then the metaphorical truck hit Buffy. For the first time in their relationship, Faith was the pure one. She was the honest one. She was the loyal one. She was everything that Buffy had never thought that Faith could be. And Buffy was becoming everything she once saw in Faith and found disgusting. It wasn't a competition at all. She didn't begrudge Faith at all for being the good one. As the legal chatter went on and on, Buffy only spoke up when directly addressed, and she forgot what she'd said immediately after she said it.

By the time the two slayers left City Hall, the sky was inching closer to sunset, but Buffy only noticed out of habit. She couldn't quite bring herself to care. And damn, but she couldn't deny it anymore. Faith was definitely in love with her. Buffy didn't understand it, and she didn't want to believe it, but after everything she'd experienced since coming out of the ground, it was impossible to deny.

And it made her feel sick. Buffy wasn't worth such love. She kept doing awful things just to feel alive, and she still wasn't convinced that she even was alive.

"What's wrong, B?"

And there was Faith trying to come to the rescue again. She didn't ask 'Is everything okay?' She didn't ask 'Are you all right?' She just knew that something was wrong, and her question cut straight to the heart of the matter. Buffy wanted to lie, to say something to reassure Faith, but decided quickly that she wouldn't. She'd been entirely honest with Faith and no one else, and surprise of all surprises, but Faith had earned her trust.

"I feel dead, Faith," Buffy whispered out as they rounded the corner onto Revello Drive. "And I wanna feel alive, even if that's a lie, and even if I don't deserve it, but I hate feeling dead."

Faith was quiet for a few moments. "I thought you were at peace when-"

"No!" Buffy said, her voice rising sharply. "When I really was dead… I felt warm, a-and soft, and at peace. I felt loved and safe and everything good. Right now, right here… I don't feel anything anymore. And I want to, because if I can't, then what's the point of anything?"

Faith nodded rapidly, and Buffy had no idea what was in her mind. And then she spoke. "Come to bed, Buffy."

Looking up at the sky, Buffy chuckled. "It's a bit early, isn't it?"

"Come to bed with me, Buffy."

That was unexpected, not to mention terrifying. "Faith…" Buffy said, trying to choose her words carefully. "I know how you feel, and I wish I could feel the same way, but I don't. And I don't want to use you after all you've done for me."

Faith sighed. "You've been trying the same thing that I tried for so much of my life. Gratification. Sexual release. That's not what I'm talking about. I want you to let me make love to you, Buffy. You don't have to do anything to me, but let me… I dunno? Try to show you how I feel with my body and not with words and such, right? There's a huge difference, and I don't really know, but I don't think you can fake this kind of thing."

Buffy looked at Faith as if she was some strange alien creature. "Faith, have you ever had a serious relationship? Have you ever made love to anyone before?"

"No," Faith replied. "But someone once made love to me." Faith looked up at Buffy, and her brown eyes were full of terror. "Only he thought that it was you."

And then the pieces fell into place. "When you used us both. You used Riley, and you used my body… And you learned about making love in the process?"

Faith shrugged, but just barely. "The boy really loved you. And I felt that. And it scared the hell out of me. I've done it every which way before, but never with the kind of love that he thought he was showing you. So let me try to make up for that. You don't have to show any feelings that you don't feel, but let me show you, best I can, that you are loved, and that you're worth loving. Let me help you feel alive, Buffy."

Buffy didn't say anything, but just nodded her head in agreement. Without another spoken word, the two Slayers walked back to 1630 Revello Drive, went inside, walked up the stairs to Buffy's bedroom, and then they closed the door behind them.