TW: Miscarriage mention, suicide mention, depression, self harm.

A/N: Some one find me a sugar daddy so I can dedicate my life to writing and never take another college course again.

Also, I plan on writing years 3-7. Would y'all prefer if I kept this as one big fic (where I just keep posting to this one) or if I broke it up into several fics by year (Where I mark this as completed at the end of year 3 and continue with year four on a 'new' fic?)

Knock, knock, knock. The study door creaked open and Crewe's head appeared in the room. "Master, Mr. Nott has come to-"

Lucius put the journal he was writing in into one of his desk drawers and set his white peacock quill down. "Let him in you vazey halfwit." The insult lacked its usual venom as he was feeling a bit depressed at how his usually busy days had slowed to a dull.

Crewe bowed his head and opened the door to allow Theodore Nott, Sr. to walk into the room, his Jaxon hat in his hands. "Thank you for having me, Lucius- I hope I am not disturbing you."

Lucius waved a hand, "Please, sit down, the only thing that is disturbing me is all the orders I have to sign off on. Would you like a drink?" Lucius got up and walked over to the globe behind him. He tipped it open to reveal two glasses and a bottle of gin. Lucius preferred Fire Whiskey but knew Nott preferred Gin so he kept a bottle around for his oldest ally. With his back turned he didn't see Nott raise an eyebrow at Lucius's desk that was bare of any orders that he mentioned.

"I'd love one, no ice, no water." Lucius poured two glasses, his having ice, and handed the other without ice to Nott. After he took a sip, Nott spoke again. "So business is good then?" Nott's eyes were as dark as his pupils and his son's were nearly the same, only a shade lighter. Lucius found it interesting how dark they were and questioned if they were natural or not, as he knew the nature of Draco's eyes.

"Of course." It was a lie. Nearly every single business he worked with had pulled out, even ones that had been in his family for generations. The few that didn't, he was hesitant to work with as he was concerned they had intentions to try and black mail him. All of the businesses he had worked with regularly were shady businesses though and it was to be expected for them to withdraw their interest as dark wizards usually went hand in hand as blood purists. Some wizards even considered blood traitors to be beneath muggleborns- Lucius being one of them.

"Mmmm," Knot took another sip of his drink, never breaking eye contact with Lucius. "I've heard differently. You know we have some of the same business' working with us. Some of them have been very vocal on how they feel about the Malfoy name. Others have offered to make better deals with me."

"I see." Lucius took a sip of his drink. He hated how Nott always had to beat around the bush or asked questions he knew the answer to. Lucius had always been a straight forward wizard. "So why ask? Better yet- what do you want, Nott?" Lucius used Theodore's last name as a reminder they were not friends, simply allies.

Nott nodded once and removed a envelope from inside his jacket pocket. It was nearly identical to the black envelopes that the Malfoys used when writing letters except this one had the dark mark in glossy black over the matte envelope. Lucius kept his face still to betray nothing but his stomach flipped and his mark itched. His loyal years of servitude to Voldemort were enjoyed but they came at the cost of fearing for not just his life, but Narcissa's. Even the most loyal were not safe when it came to the Dark Lord. "You didn't have to hand deliver this, you never had before."

Nott's eye twinkled as he spoke. "I wanted to make sure you would accept this time. You hadn't accepted in years and a lot of the inner circle doubts you now more than ever." Nott gave a sympathetic look that pissed Lucius off immediately. "The Quiddittch World Cup Tournament is coming in the summer. I assume you bought tickets?"

Lucius raised a blonde eyebrow. "Yes. A birthday gift for Draco." Lucius made a mental note to pick up another ticket for Hermione at the mention of it.

Nott leaned forward, his excitement becoming more evident on his face. "Then this will be perfect, he can join me, Theo and the rest of the inner circle to remember our Dark Lord. I have invited a few others, some of them possible business partners so you can get some connections back. Prove to them that the Malfoy name is still one of honor. I don't know how you ended up adopting a mudblood but the Lucius and Narcissa I know would have never let such filth be dragged into their home." Nott shook his head in disgust and took another drink. "I respect you enough not to pry. Your business has always been your business and I am sure you have your own plans for her." Nott straightened in his chair, grinning at Lucius. "So what do you say?"

Lucius had been half listening to Nott, a part of him focusing on the wards to locate Narcissa, while another part thought of how the Death Eaters getting together at the Quidditch World Cup would be the perfect opportunity to get rid of Hermione... If his wife allowed it. He had started to grow suspicious after Christmas about his wife's intent with the girl as her fondness for Hermione seemed too genuine to be an act. "I would need to speak to Narcissa before accepting."

Nott gave an unintelligent grunt and Lucius was unsure what it meant. "Of course. I don't know why you let her have so much say, I would have killed Theo's mother sooner if she even tried to have as much say as Narcissa does-" Lucius gave Nott a dark look at the suggestion and Nott put a hand in front of him to stop Lucius. "Your business is your business."

"You should do well to remember that she was ranked above either of us. If the Dark Lord could move past archaic views, so should we." Lucius never treated or saw Narcissa as an inferior but Nott was hard pressed like many men to let his misogynistic views go. Nott was always one to follow the crowd and if Lucius had to bring up other men's views on his wife to make sure Narcissa was shown respect, then he would.

Another grunt and Nott drank the rest of his whiskey. "After you two talk and are ready to accept, you know to open the envelope." Nott stood and Lucius escorted him to the front doors of the manor.

"I look forward to your reply." With a nod, Nott exited the front doors.

Lucius started to walk to the second floor balcony, where he sensed his wife. When he got there, she looked up at him, worry on her face as she held a parchment in her hands. He gave her a quick peck on the lips for comfort. Whatever had her worried had him alarmed as Narcissa did not often let herself become concerned with a lot of things. "What's wrong?"

She handed him the letter she received. It was another one from Draco about Hermione and as he read, the more confused he became. "Why are you so worried? She's unharmed." He knew Narcissa had a soft spot for children, even muggle ones- it was one of the reason she made sure Voldemort favored her over most of his followers, she passed along any duties involving children to others so she did not have to harm them- but he did not see why she was this worried. His earlier doubts came to mind and he studied her as she spoke.

Narcissa blinked, slightly taken aback and looked away, hiding her face from him. "I don't see why she was on the astronomy tower. Even then, the ledge is tall and thick, she had to climb on to it for her to fall."

"You think she tried to kill herself? He said a dementor was present, it was probably just an accident." Lucius pulled a chair over so he could sit in front of Narcissa.

"I do. Even if it was an attempt to get away from the dementor... She's been through a lot and-" Lucius grabbed her hands, even though one of them was still holding the envelope Nott gave him. She removed her hand and saw the glossy emblem that was the dark mark. "What is this, Lucius?" She took it from his hand and made to open it, but he stopped her by placing his hands over hers.

"Nott delivered it. If you open it, it means we have accepted the invitation." She looked at him, her expression even more tense as Lucius spoke. "Nott wants to cause some commotion at the Quidditch World Cup Tournament. He didn't give me many details, other than the inner circle who is not in Azkaban would be involved, and that I may be able to save some business opportunities if we were involved."

Narcissa gave a sharp intake of breath, her mind already processing what he was saying. "We would have to accept it then." Her eyes narrowed at Lucius and leaned back. "Draco will not be involved, I don't care if Nott is having his own son join but both he and Hermione have to be kept safe. She's a muggleborn and they'll come after her."

Lucius was surprised, both at Narcissa's protectiveness of Hermione and the relief that released the vice on his stomach at her demanding Draco kept out of it. A part of him said that a twinge of relief was aimed at Hermione being kept safe but dismissed it entirely. She was entertaining to him at best but entertainment could be found elsewhere. He pursed lips and looked at his wife who was deep in her own thoughts. Lucius thought about all of the agreements that were terminated because of his false blood-traitor status the other wizards had labeled his family with. "What are your intentions with Hermione?"

Narcissa didn't look at him but he saw her breathing still. He's short-sighted, but not an idiot. "I already told you, I would take care of her."

"But you never gave 'take care of her' a definition. When Draco said he admitted that her adoption was forced, it should been a benefit to you from the impression I was initially given. Hearing that she nearly received the dementors kiss at Hogwarts, turning her into a zombie would give her a one way ticket to St. Mungo's. Theodore Nott wants to attack a place she will be present, and you jump to protect her." His voice was calm instead of accusatory as he wanted to talk to his wife rather than argue with her.

Narcissa looked at her husband and swallowed hard. After all the years they had been together it was one of two lies she had told him- the other being about Dr. Augsen being Andromeda- and she was not expecting to admit her true intentions until the end of the school year at worst. She wanted to cry with everything that had happened before it had even reached noon and Narcissa did not cry.

Lucius took the envelope from her hand and pinned it under her plate with Draco's letter. He grabbed her hands again and gripped them, suspecting she may try to run with what he said next. "After... After your last miscarriage-"

Narcissa took a deep breath and tried to pull her hand away but he held on to them. "I told you we don't talk about what Voldemort did!" Her voice came out as a hiss as she struggled.

"And we haven't. Not for fourteen years. But after that had happened, I had asked you if you wanted me to-"

"Murder a pureblood wizard family and take their child?!" Her voice became a roar and she pulled her arms so hard, it hurt. He finally let go of her, knowing she would hurt herself but grabbed the arms of the chair and stood, blocking her from leaving as he leaned over her. If they had a muggle wedding, Narcissa swore she would have divorced him that night when he made the suggestion and they had not talked for months afterwards. Her fury instantly came back to her at the mention of their biggest fight they ever had and Narcissa looked away, mentally damning them being wizards as she was unable to hurt him due to their vows. "Why are you talking about this, Lucius?"

"I was a Death Eater and did not fully understand the gift of a child, Narcissa. Not until Draco. Although, if you were to ask me tonight to get you a child I would do it," She looked at him, eyes wide from what she was hearing. "But only out of obligation to you. I would not enjoy it, I would only be doing it because you had requested it of me. I am a cruel person, Narcissa. That's not a secret," He took a deep breath and gathered his emotions to say what he was going to say next. "but if you asked for me to make an exception for Gr-Hermione, I would. I would treat her as if she was family if that's what you wanted of me."

Narcissa stared at her husband for a few minutes, processing what he said and did not speak until he sat in his chair across from her, allowing her to leave if she wanted to as he said what he wanted to say. "What?" Narcissa considered conjuring revealing water as she did not believe Lucius was the one standing in front of her.

"I would... try." He added. "I can't promise to not to hate everything she represents, her presence has disrupted so much. We are far from being broke but I don't have any business partners anymore and I have obligations as Head of House. I won't sit here and do nothing for the rest of my life."

Narcissa reached over to him and grabbed one of his hands between hers. "I know." She paused for a moment and cleared her throat before continuing. "It is what I want. I do feel bad for her, Lucius, and while I know Fudge is the reason she is here with us, I feel... it may have been fate." She played with his hand nervously as the words sounded weird when she said them as neither of them believed in such superstitions. "Or something. I can't think of a better family to protect her." She added.

Lucius bit his tongue at his thoughts on what his wife said and instead turned their palms upward to show the scars they made on their wedding day as part of their bonding ritual. "You cannot command me, for I am a free person, but I shall serve you in those ways you require. It was over twenty years ago we promised this to each other as you followed me into the Dark Lord's path-"

Narcissa made a sound similar to a soft snort. "More like you followed me."

Lucius shook his head as he closed his hands over the one with the scar. "I started it. It's the biggest regret of my life bringing you into those dark times and I promised myself I would spend the rest of my life making you up for putting you through that." He took a deep breath before continuing. "If this is the family you want to have, let me know so I may start preparing myself for summer. I want to do right by you." Lucius kissed her knuckles and looked into her eyes. She tried to look away to hide the tear that had fell but he wiped it away before she could fully turn away from him. "I know you believe in actions over words so I will serve you in every way to make you happy."

Narcissa nodded and kissed the hand he still had resting on her cheek. Again, she found herself wishing that he would show his more compassionate side to Draco, but knew with the conversations she and Lucius had been having lately, it would come with time. She grabbed the black envelope and ripped it open and it transfigured into a smokey figure of the dark mark before dissipating. He reached for her hand and stood, gently pulling her up to stand. "I suppose we should head to Hogwarts. No one of the Malfoy family should be attacked without us causing some uproar."

Narcissa playfully hit his arm and shook her head before allowing him to guide her into the house to retrieve their robes, after she sent the letter to Andromeda.

Yellow Chrysanthemums, purple Aster's, white Babies Breath, and a Single pink Rose in the middle. This was the bouquet Hermione was carrying as she walked through the cemetery, towards where her parents were buried.

Or at least, where she thought they were buried. The fog was so thick in the cemetery that she couldn't see more than a meter in front of her, which threw her into a panic as she knew she was on a time frame. Hermione didn't know how she knew this or how much time she had, but she knew when her time was up, something bad was going to happen. She started to run across the graves, frantically reading the gravestones as she stepped over them. She was in the wrong year and she took a turn, hoping to get into the more recently deceased row of bodies. I have to find mum and dad. I have to find mum and dad. 1970, 1969- I'm going backwards-

"Hermione!" Her head whipped around, unsure where her father's voice was coming from. "Over here!" she turned again as it sounded as if the voice moved around her.

Hermione took a step forward in the direction she thought she heard her father. She took another and when she continued to hear nothing, she kept walking forward, this time calling out herself. "Dad! Where are you?" The feeling of impending doom got worse and her panic made her take off in a sprint. I have to find them.

"Hermione, please!" This time it was her mother calling out and when Hermione ran faster, she could see lights dancing through the fog in front of her, she sped up, only to feel something grab her ankle, letting her fall to the side, the flowers flying into the mist before her.

There was a growl and she looked back, to see a corpse wearing a trench coat and a black bowler hat had a firm grip on her ankle. She let out a cry as she clawed at the ground, trying to pull herself away but the half decayed hand tightened its grip. It pulled her closer and she did the only thing she could think to do: she pulled a leg back and kicked the head of the corpse as hard as she could-

"SON OF A-"

"Minister, are you all right?!"

Hermione scrambled in bed, pulling her legs up to her chest as pain shot up in the foot she had let fly forward, as she had not fully comprehended that she was no longer dreaming but in bed. She struggled with the covers that were covering her face due to her being tangled in them, before a hand grabbed the white sheets and lifted it from her face.

Hermione went still and blanched seeing Minister Fudge, Dumbledore, Narcissa and Lucius standing around her hospital bed. She looked at Lucius who still had the white blanket in his hand from when he freed her and took it from him, bringing it to her chin. His face was his usual neutral mask but his eyes revealed that he was amused her antics. "What is going on? Why am I in the hospital wing?..." Her voice got smaller as she slowly remembered. The astronomy tower. The dementor. Blacking out. She suddenly felt sick and it must as shown as Dumbledore conjured a bin for her to vomit into.

When she was done, he vanished the liquid, but not the bin, and picked up a small brick of chocolate by the hospital bedside to hand to her. The command to eat was a silent one, and despite her the disgusting taste it created in her mouth, she ate. "We were hoping you could tell us, Miss Granger." Dumbledore looked like he had the day Harry was attacked by dementors when Gryffindor went against Hufflepuff. He knows about the dementor... But how?

Hermione skirted around his silent question and answered with one of her own. "How did I get into the hospital wing?"

"I'm going to get Poppy." Narcissa spoke this time and gave the slightest of nods to Lucius who answered Hermione's question.

"Draco said he saw you collapse and managed to chase off a dementor with flames long enough for him to get you to the hospital wing."

"A third year, chasing off a dementor, ridiculous." Minister Fudge muttered under his breath as he rubbed his hand. Hermione's eyebrows raised as she looked at Fudge and she could feel her upper lip curl up from anger. "That's far too advanced-"

"We've had to do it several times already." Hermione looked at the Minister incredulously, fully awake from the chocolate and not believing that he was dismissing a danger he brought to Hogwarts. Narcissa was already returning with Madam Pomfrey close behind her. "Harry Potter has been attacked twice," She ignored the pang in her chest saying his name, but made emphasis on it knowing his life mattered to Fudge over hers. "I've been attacked twice-"

"Twice?" Madam Pomfrey used Narcissa's interruption to check Hermione's vitals. "Albus, why were Lucius and I not notified the first time she had an encounter with those- those creatures?"

"Professor Lupin-"

"I'm sorry, Lupin?" Lucius was the one to interrupt this time, his amused twinkle gone. "As in Remus Lupin? Former best friend of-"

"The very same." Dumbledore turned to face Lucius, and Hermione squirmed at his serious demeanor.

Lucius scoffed and looked at Narcissa, choosing not to address Dumbledore. "And we wonder why break-ins keep happening, if we could have just sent Draco to Durmstrang-"

Narcissa cut off his rant which he started in French with her own rebuttal. "I was NOT going to send our son so far away. And what about Hermione? She would have come here anyway." She waved her hand as a sign she was done with the conversation and Lucius turned away completely, running a hand over his hair. "Continue, Albus- Please."

Best friend of whom? Hermione listened intensely as Madam Pomfrey back off of her and handed her more chocolate. "Does anything hurt, love?"

Hermione nearly said no, but her attention was brought to her right foot that had a very uncomfortable throb. "My foot, actually." She started to take off her shoe and saw Lucius look at Minister Fudge with a smirk, the amused look in his eye again. She glanced at Fudge who had his lips pressed into a line as he continued to rub his hand. When Hermione took her sock off, there was some bruising where her metatarsal bones were. "Oh!"

"You kicked my hand in your sleep." Fudge said gruffly. He flexed his fingers and he made a sound between a whimper and a grunt when one did not move.

"You had your hand on the railing of the bed, Minister, surely you can't be upset at a child when you were the one to place your hand there." Lucius smirked at Fudge. "She's prone to nightmares, you know." Fudge decided to ignore Lucius although everyone noticed a blush started to creep across his face.

Narcissa walked over to the right side of the bed. "I'll heal her Poppy, you can tend to the Minister." Before Madam Pomfrey could protest, Narcissa had her Hawthorn Wood wand out and pointed it over Hermione's foot. "Reducere tumentes." Hermione watched closely as Narcissa healed her. "Poppy should have a salve for you to put over the bruising." Before Hermione could reply, Narcissa pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear. "Dumbledore does not know you were at the top of the tower, however, Dr. Augsen will be here to visit you later today." Hermione was completely rigid and didn't move, even when Narcissa pulled away.

Hermione felt the tears pooling in her eyes and took another bite of chocolate just so she could focus on something, even though her throat burned. She felt ashamed, anxious, and everything in between. Narcissa stood and put her hand on her shoulder. Hermione couldn't help but compare how Narcissa comforted her to how her mother comforted her. The Malfoy's were reserved in every way and knew that the hug she just received was only done so she could whisper in her ear while her mother would have literally smothered her until Hermione was the one to move away. Narcissa however offered a hand on her shoulder that had a soft grip. A reassurance that she was there but nothing more and the gesture made her ache for her mother's touch.

"Perhaps we should let Hermione rest and take our conversation elsewhere?" Narcissa gave a pat then removed her hand from Hermione's shoulder before joining her husband at the end of the bed.

The adults gathered into a close circle as they walked off, leaving Hermione with Madam Pomfrey who was asking a house elf to bring Hermione lunch. Hermione could faintly hear Dumbledore's voice growing more and more faint. "Minister, the dementors need to be removed. They had been snuck by twice by Black..."

"We should have done more to stop her, Ron."

Hermione was laying in bed, curled into the fetal position and pretending to be asleep. She didn't want to face her best friends yet and hoped that they would leave soon. They had been bickering back and forth for the last thirty minutes about her and it made her heart ache even more. A part of her wanted to drop the act and make up with her friends but she felt deeply wounded by them. Hermione didn't want to face them yet after what she almost did.

"I know, Harry." Ron's voice was sad and full of regret. "I shouldn't of had been so hard on her about Crookshanks."

"What if she would have died? What if the dementor made her feel even worse?" Ron stayed silent this time. "Dumbledore told us to be there for her and we weren't." Dumbledore?

There was silence for a couple more minutes and behind them she could hear footsteps. "Maybe we should wake her?"

"Don't you dare! I think that's enough of you two, she obviously needs her rest!" Madam Pomfrey's voice was at a regular volume but left no room for an argument. Pomfrey was happy to hear Hermione wanted to stay in the hospital wing as most students tried to leave and was more than willing to play along with her fake sleeping, knowing it was a queue that she was not wanting to be bothered.

"What is he doing here?" Ron's voice had taken an angry tone and Hermione remembered how he looked at her when he was shoving the bed sheet in her face.

"I would suggest you buy some glasses, Weasley, but I know you'd have to sell a brother to afford it and no one would want to buy him. I'm bringing Granger books from her classes." When she heard Draco's annoying, drawling voice she nearly opened her eyes as she was hesitant to believe her ears. Why is he here? He shouldn't care if I miss homework. Lucius said that Draco had saved her and she tried to poke holes in the logic for hours but without more information she had nothing to disprove it. The fact that Narcissa knew she was on Astronomy Tower only proved he helped her, although she did not believed he chased off the dementor. He was no where near her from what she remembered on the tower and her blue flames only caused them to scatter from surprise, making them slow their accent to Harry when he fainted.

"That's enough, Mr. Malfoy. Go and take the books to her bedside." Hermione heard footsteps come closer to her and a heavy thud that she assumed was the books being set down. Madam Pomfrey's footsteps, accompanied by Harry and Ron's footsteps, became more and more distant until there was the distant thud of the heavy, wooden door closing behind them. The only sounds that came next was the footsteps of Madam Pomfrey passing by her bed to go to her office.

Half of Hermione's brain said she was alone because it was so quite while the other said that she wasn't as she never heard Draco leave her side. She stayed how she was for a few minutes, trying to keep her breathing as even and as slow as possible. "You can stop pretending, they left." Hermione hesitated opening her eyes but gave in. When she did, she jumped back as his face was so close to hers that his eyes looked like silver and black orbs.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Malfoy!" He threw his head back with laughter at her reaction. She had clutched her chest as a comfort to her racing heart. Hating how he was laughing at her, she grabbed her pillow and hit him with it.

"Hey!" He grabbed the pillow from her and scowled.

"Came to finish the job by heart attack?" Hermione regretted what she said immediately as she knew what she tried to do was not something to make light of.

"You have an odd way of thanking people, Granger." Draco sat in the chair that was farthest from her and put his feet on the one closest to her so he was facing her.

Hermione felt a pang of guilt and looked away. What is wrong with me? "I'm sorry." She glanced at him and resisted the urge to apologize a second time remembering that he didn't like the words.

"Don't worry about it." He waved a hand and looked down at the pillow in his lap. He thought about what he would say if she was awake but he couldn't remember any of it now. He didn't know how to interact with a Gryffindor he was supposed to hate due to her blood status. At least, not when he wasn't trying to bully them or get something from them. Draco thought about leaving, thinking he shouldn't be there but she interrupted his thoughts.

"Did you really- Did you save me from the dementor?"

Draco's gaze met her watery gaze for a moment before dropping his eyes back down to the pillow. Always the forward one. "Yes and no."

"What does that mean? What happened?" Her voice had gotten low again and he took his feet off the other chair and leaned forward so his elbows were resting on his knees.

"I was flying back to the castle after quidditch practice and I... I saw you fell from the Astronomy tower, so I caught you." She was silently crying again and while she cried a lot, he realized he didn't mind it in the same way he did with Pansy. He wanted Hermione to stop, but he wasn't annoyed with her as she had a genuine reason to be a constant mess.

"Why? Why did you bother?" Hermione wiped at her face, knowing she had ugly pink splotches on her pale face but didn't care. "I'm just a mudb-"

"Don't." His tone was serious and when she looked at him, he had an intense stare that crinkled his blonde eyebrows. "I don't-" He breathed deeply through his nose and scratched the back of his neck. It was one thing to think what he was feeling but another thing to say what he was feeling. He wasn't a Gryffindor, he was a Slytherin. They were known for self-preservation in every way. "I didn't want to watch you die." He shrugged as he settled on what he thought was a safe answer. He looked up at her and she looked like she was expecting more of an explanation. "You're a good person... And it's better that you're here, than not." Draco decided that it was all he would give as he wasn't completely comfortable with being so open around her.

When Hermione heard Draco call her a good person she found herself not trusting her ears for a second time since he arrived. Her bully had paid her a compliment and it completely whelmed her as her brain was still saying she belonged in a rubbish bin somewhere. She pulled her knees into her chest and hugged them, resting her nose on her arms. She forced herself to look at him when she spoke again. Hermione knew she wanted to believe what he was saying and she hoped it was the truth. She wanted validation even if the validation came from Draco. "And last year? When the basilisk was terrorizing muggleborns in the castle?"

He looked at her, meeting her gaze. Eye contact is important, Draco. His father's voice whispered in his head. It lets the other party know you're attentive and it makes them trust you, no matter what your intentions may be- always look people in the eye if you want them to hear you. "I said a lot of stupid things, Granger. Things I thought I meant until... Recently."

Hermione felt her lower lip tremble and buried her face in the space between her knees and chest so he didn't see her face. She hated this feeling of being so weak that she sought validation from someone she didn't consider a friend. She hated that she valued it just the same as she was that broken. Hermione bit her lip trying not to make any noise. She knew it was childish but she tried to pretend he wasn't there to save her from some embarrassment at how she was acting.

After a few moments, Hermione heard Draco stand so she looked up, rubbing the tears and snot from her face with a ragged breath. "When mother came by she brought etiquette books. They're not the most entertaining, but they're better than nothing." His hand rubbed the back of his neck again as looked at her face. She couldn't place what he was feeling but it was better than the unreadable mask she often dealt with when they interacted. She nodded her understanding and they both heard the hospital door open, followed by the loud clack of heels. "I'll be heading out." He tossed the pillow on to the bed before turning to exit.

When he placed a hand on the curtain she spoke. "Will you come back?" Hermione wanted to say that she didn't know why she wanted him to come back but she did. She didn't want to feel alone anymore and the thought of having to deal with anyone else at Hogwarts that was her age made her feel tired. Even Lavender who she knew would only want to talk about magazines, divination or horoscopes. There was something about the Draco that allowed her to feel like she didn't have many expectations to live up to and she figured it was due to the fact he had not just seen her at her worst, but acted as if he hadn't. Hermione never saw pity in his eyes when he looked at her and she appreciated that. He nodded once then disappeared behind the curtain at the same time the sound of heels stopped.

There was a pause before Dr. Augsen came in and sat in the chair Draco had his feet on earlier. Her hair was down and her eyes were completely soft, showing more emotion than she ever had before. It was a new-look that would have disarmed Hermione if she did not feel exposed already. "Hullo." Hermione looked into her therapist's eyes and her throat closed up from embarrassment and shame. She's going to want me to drop my classes. "Good afternoon, Dr. Augsen." She didn't want to be sitting in front of Dr. Augsen right now. She thought she should have been dead, which was an alternative she thought she still preferred at the moment.

Dr. Augsen crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap. "Hermione, if there was something I did wrong or did not pick up on, I-I am so sorry." Dr. Augsen's hands were balled into fists and she looked as if she was in pain when she apologized.

"There wasn't-" Hermione shook her head when her body threatened to collapse into sobs. She cleared her throat and looked at her knees. "You didn't ask me how I am doing this time."

The light comment made Dr. Augsen tilt her head to the side. "I'd imagine after an attempt-"

"There was no attempt." Hermione's voice wavered and she gripped the ring on her necklace, digging the spikes in deeper than she had before. "There was no suicide attempt, if that's what everyone thought happened."

"Hermione, you don't have to lie." Dr. Augsen slipped her hands through the railing to place them on to the bed. She leaned to the side so Hermione could see she was trying to lock eyes with her. "I'm here to help you." Hermione looked up at her and her skin screamed as the ring dug deeper than it had ever had before into her flesh. The pain was grounding and she used it to keep her head above the storm inside of her that wanted to drown her in her own tears. "Listen, I think it's about time you dropped your classes, they're not help-"

Hermione let out a frustrated breath. "I'm not lying Doctor! Stop suggesting I stop taking so many subjects! I can't drop anything until I get through the year with an 'O'! I'm not allowed to drop anything!" Hermione hated that she lost the power struggle on staying calm but it was so hard. Everything was so hard and she wished it would either stop or get better.

Dr. Augsen's eyebrows came together. "Why do you feel that dropping the class isn't allowed? You said you would if-"

"Because I was never allowed to quit until I proved I was the best." Hermione's lower lip trembled as she spoke and she let out a dry sob before pressing a palm against her face. "My parents wouldn't allow me to quit unless I was the best. I always had to prove it somehow before they would allow me to withdraw from anything I hated. This is something I need to do." Hermione rubbed her sleeve roughly against her face and looked down at her hands. "I know I promised I would drop the classes if they were the problem, and they're not. The work keeps me busy."

Dr. Augsen was quiet for a moment, mulling over what Hermione said. It was new information she decided not to discuss it further as she needed to address the main concern she had. "Look at me, please." Her voice was soft and Hermione hesitantly looked into her eyes. "What pushed you to go to the top of Astronomy Tower?" Hermione shook her head just to have an excuse to break the intense eye contact before looking back into her therapist's blue eyes. Hermione read once that semi-truths were the best lies and hoped it was true.

"Ron and I had an argument and I wanted to get away from him. I was up there, but I didn't jump. The dementor caused me to faint." Dr. Augsen maintained her intense look and Hermione felt a slight tickle in her brain. It was the oddest sensation but as soon as it came, it was gone. Hermione resisted the urge to shift her weight. She was trying to think of anything else to help her as she played with her ring again but the only other fact about lying she could think of was keeping her answers short- something she was already doing.

Dr. Augsen blinked as it sunk in that Hermione was telling the truth. "Why were you on the ledge?" Dr. Augsen wondered if her magic was failing her as she and Narcissa were convinced Hermione wanted to off herself. Dr. Augsen didn't need to perform legilimens on Hermione to know if she was lying or not and everything Hermione said was true. Some thing still felt off but she she couldn't pin down what.

"The view was really pretty." Dr. Augsen's head tilted again and Hermione thought it was the wrong thing to say. "I'm afraid of heights, looking down clears my head when I'm at a height." Both are truths, but not why I was up there- nor does my head clear in a positive way. Hermione grew more and more nervous as Dr. Augsen continued to stare at her.

Finally Dr. Augsen spoke, with the barest hint of a smile on her lips. "How Gryffindor."

Hermione flashed the hint of one herself but she felt her exhaustion immediately take over again, closely followed by her depression. "I suppose if you believe in that type of thing." Lying had always been exhausting but doing it when she had no energy to spare in the first place left her wanting to sleep for the week. Hermione pulled the covers up to her chin again. "I'm really tired after... after the dementor." Hermione wasn't sure if she was referring to the physical one or the one inside her head. "Would you mind if we talked next session?" Hermione made herself yawn for emphasis and Dr. Augsen stood.

"Of course." Dr. Augsen was confused by her discoveries but felt elated at the news that Hermione did not try to kill herself. She was satisfied for now but would do more probing when they met again on Wednesday. "I'll see you in a few days, Hermione." Hermione nodded as she laid down, and Andromeda couldn't help but noticed how defeated the young girl looked. "I'm happy Draco was there to catch you, you know."

Hermione looked at Dr. Augsen, tears welling in her eyes. "Me, too."

Dr. Augsen knew her magic wasn't failing her then as she felt the familiar tell of heat welling behind her ears when someone lied to her. Baby steps. So long as she didn't try to kill herself... Dr. Augsen moved the curtain to the side and started towards the exit, but not before witnessing the blonde head of her nephew slipping out into the hallway, hoping he hadn't been caught eavesdropping.

MotekElm: Awww, y'all have no clue what it means to me when someone says that my writing made them cry. If only I could put heart emojis lol. We'll see though ;)

InsideTheFridge: Thank you :DDD

Alice Helena: Thank you as always :))) They really did for a moment there but things should be changing. THANK YOU I HATE UPDATING SO SLOWLY ESPECIALLY WHEN I WASN'T TOO FOND OF A CHAPTER. I wasn't kidding about the 30K chapters LOL but I'm happy no one is asking that of me lol.

Guest: AWWWW It's making me tear up when y'all say you cried. Thank you so much.

Aurora301: Thank YOU so much for reading :D I really did a lot of research in what some one is going through when their parents died. I still feel like I'm only hitting the tip of the ice berg with how heavy the topic is but I'm not trying to depress all of my readers lol. I can't wait for when I write year four tbh.

CharmedMistleToe: It was her own thoughts, the dementor slid over after she was on the ledge. And thank you! I had fun writing that :)