Happy New Year and thank you for all your reviews and for reading. Love Jules xx

Chapter Nineteen

Bella

The fire burned low but Jasper seemed reluctant to move from his place beside me on the couch to add more logs and that suited me. For the first time in two years, I felt warm, alive, and looking forward to the future. He had gifted me my daughter alive and well and I loved him for that.

I was very aware of his proximity, it felt like a warm blanket wrapped around me and I wondered if this was what Megan felt in his arms. I should have been wondering how she would have looked in Edward's arms but I couldn't imagine her there. He had held her if only for a few minutes when she was at her most vulnerable. When she was in the arms of her father who should have loved her and who should have protected and loved her all her life. Instead, he had discarded her like trash and this strange enigmatic man had taken her up and given her all those things that she needed.

If I closed my eyes I could conjure up the sight of Jasper holding Megan protectively against his chest while Jake slashed at him with razor-sharp claws. As a warrior surely Jasper's first reaction would have been to attack or at least to defend himself but instead he had taken several deep wounds as he kept my baby safe.

Seeing him with Megan I knew it was a tragedy that he would never have children of his own. He was the perfect father. Megan adored him and I wondered if she worried I might take her away from him. It would be like ripping her heart out, his too, they loved each other so much. If only Jasper had been her biological father. I could never give her a father, not Edward. I would rather die myself than allow him to touch her. He had forfeited any claims to her.

Edward had been the love of my life, I would have died for him. I was prepared to when I confronted the Volturi. I thought he would do the same for me and I guess he would have but Edward had one fatal character flaw. He was insanely jealous and possessive. I should have seen it, the way he behaved around Jake, the way he warned me away from Jasper and did all he could to come between Emmett and myself. He wanted me all to himself and I guess if I hadn't become pregnant when I did, I would never have seen it. It would hardly have mattered once I became a vampire and unable to have a child of my own.

Was I glad I learned before it was too late? It was too late I guess but I was glad I learned what kind of man he really was. I could never go back to him and for now, at least I had somewhere to stay, somewhere I felt welcome and safe.

I wondered what Jasper's long term plans were. Dare I ask him?

I turned, startled to find he was studying me in the flickering glow of the fire.

"A penny for your thoughts."

I laughed, "Trust me they aren't worth it."

His own smile at my words made me catch my breath,

"I'm sorry I didn't get more organized for having visitors. Megan takes, took up most of my time."

"I'm sure she does. Did you plan on staying here long? I mean, do you rent this place?"

"No. I bought it. I thought having a secure base would be best. As for how long I honestly don't know. Megan is growing and maturing so fast it's difficult. That was another reason for choosing this place. No near neighbors, but she will need to mix eventually. Go to school and be a normal little girl I guess."

I stared at him noticing something in his tone of voice.

"No. I don't think so. I think you were going to educate her yourself. You just said that because it's what you thought I would expect."

He grinned pushing his untidy hair back from his face.

"You got me there. I thought as Megan's mother that you would expect her to go to school. I mean she does understand that she's different and could fool humans but I always worry she might slip up. She's still a little girl, she deserves to be a child and enjoy it however fast she's growing. But it's not my call any longer. She's your child Bella so you get to decide her future. Just know that you are welcome to stay here as long as you like. Megan regards it as home and right now I think she needs some stability. I mean getting her mommy back was so special but still a shock."

"For me too. Thank you. I'd like to stay a while if that's alright with you. Besides, as you just pointed out, Megan needs stability and you are the only person she knows, the only one she's ever known who loves and looks after her."

He looked a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Look, I never meant for this to work out the way it has. I mean I never gave it any thought when I took her. I guess I assumed it would be short-lived. I thought you'd sail through being a newborn and then I could contact you and we could work something out."

I smiled, "But you'd never give her up to Edward."

"No. I wouldn't. Even now I would beg you to think very hard before telling him. Edward is selfish and jealous. If he knew he had a child he would want her even if he didn't love her."

"I know. It's something I have to think about. How to ensure Edward never gets his hands on Megan and I think I have it…"

We were interrupted at this moment as Megan came running into the room dragging Celeste along in one hand and shouting at the top of her voice that Santa had been here.

"Look, Poppa. Look at all those presents under the tree. Are all they mine? Can I open them? Please, poppa, please."

Then she bounded over and jumped onto my lap.

"Merry Christmas, mommy. I'm sure Santa brought you something too. Would you like to help me open my presents?"

Jasper grinned as I was dragged off the couch and over to the pile of presents under the tree.

"You choose mommy. Which one shall we open first?"

I felt a little self-conscious but Jasper didn't seem to mind. In fact, he grabbed a camera and started taking snaps. Megan had unwrapped a gift which turned out to be a Disney Princess outfit which she insisted on putting on over her PJs and then asked Jasper to dance with her like in Beauty and the Beast.

I grabbed the camera and took some snaps as he whirled her around the floor giggling and beaming as she shouted,

"Look at me mommy, I'm beauty and poppa's the beast."

When she settled down to play with her dollhouse a little later I noticed she was making the dolls dance too.

"Why don't you dance with poppa, mommy? Listen, the music is playing."

The radio was on and they were playing a song she knew but was new to me.

"It's from Beauty and the Beast, one of Megan's favorite movies."

"Oh. Look, Megan, I 'm not a very good dancer."

"That's OK poppa is, he'll show you."

I tried to excuse myself but eventually, I gave in and allowed Jasper to whirl me around the floor and she was right, he was a good dancer, surprisingly so and I found myself relaxing into his arms closing my eyes and pretending I was a princess.

That proved to be a mistake as it rekindled memories of my wedding and I opened my eyes quickly only to see that Jasper had picked up on my discomfort. He let me go standing back.

I was embarrassed and quick to explain why I had felt uncomfortable and he nodded his understanding.

"I'm sorry, I never gave it a thought. It was some wedding. I'm just sorry it didn't work out for you."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you and Alice."

"Don't be. It was always going to happen. Alice and I were headed on different paths."

"I'm sorry I caused you to leave. Edward should never have tried to force you to put pressure on me."

"Edward's a dick, Bella. I always knew that but I guess I hoped that Alice would stand with me, not with Edward. I was wrong. I guess I put too much store by her."

"I guess we were both mistaken then."

Jasper merely nodded and turned back to Megan who was fretting because she couldn't get the lid off the box of paints.

"I wanted to paint a picture of you and mommy dancing."

We glanced at each other both a little uncomfortable but then she laughed,

"Why are you looking at Poppa like that mommy? Don't you like him?"

"Of course I do. Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged, "You just looked awkward. Like I do when I don't want to do something but I don't want to upset someone."

I frowned not sure quite what she meant by that but as she called me to help her set the paper on her new easel so she could paint Jasper disappeared out into the kitchen. Soon the room was filled with the aroma of cooking food.

Once Megan was engrossed in her painting I went to join him only to find him busy preparing a Christmas meal.

"Wow! I didn't know you were a chef too. Is there no end to your talents?"

He glanced over slightly concerned and I realized how my words must have sounded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm just amazed that you seem to be able to turn your hand to anything."

He shrugged.

"I just wanted Megan to have the kind of memories I had and Christmas dinner is one of them. Distant though they might be."

"I'm sorry. Look, Jasper, I'm struggling here while you seem a natural. Please help me out. I don't want to be a spare wheel, I want to be a part of my daughter's life but I'm not sure where I fit in. I'm not sure where I fit in with you either."

"It's hard for both of us. I wanted to do what I thought you would approve of. I looked after Megan because I thought it was the right thing to do and I've come to love her. I mean I know she's not mine. That I have no right to her but I have to tell you that I love that little girl like she was my own."

I nodded, "I know. And she loves you. I just want her to love me too. I know it will take time and thanks again for offering me a place to stay. I really am grateful. I just hope I don't bring trouble to your door. I know if Edward finds out about her then he'll come looking."

"If he turns up here I'm sure we can cope. So long as Megan isn't upset by him."

I nodded looking into his face. He was still smiling but I could see in his eyes the kind of paternal concern that should belong to Megan's father. Edward should have been the one protecting Megan and looking after her, not Jasper but I was strangely pleased with the way it had turned out. It made me even more bitter towards my husband but as there was no way I would ever go back to him I guess that didn't really matter.

Jasper turned back to the stove and Megan called me back to see her painting so there was no further time for conversation. I really wanted to know what Jasper was thinking, what he thought of me coming along and stepping between him and Megan but there would be time to discuss things later.

Megan's painting was actually pretty good, better than I could have done.

"That's you, mommy, in the long pink dress with ribbons and that's poppa dressed like the beast. I've never seen him in a suit, have you?"

I nodded, "Yes, once and he looked very handsome."

Megan beamed, "He is handsome, like the princes in my story books."

She leaned closer so our heads were touching and whispered to me.

"Do you like poppa? He likes you. I can feel it."

I blushed glad she couldn't see my face.

"Of course I like poppa. We've been friends for a long time."

She leaned back and squinted looking into my face as much as to say that's not what I meant then nodded and went back to her painting.

"Can we go outside after lunch, poppa? I want to try my new sledge."

"Sure, but you wrap up warm."

"I will. I'll put on my new boots and gloves. Mommy will you help me make another snowdog. The one poppa and I made is lonely."

"I'd love to."

Sitting there I could see Megan painting, her whole concentration on her work and Jasper moving around the kitchen as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I closed my eyes muttering under my breath, Please don't let Edward find us. I just want this moment to go on forever.