If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention.

November 1, 2019

4:15 a.m.

The echo of police sirens greeted Nathan as he continued his journey homeward, and he dutifully pulled aside as a tight formation of cruisers sped past. He guessed that they were en route to the Sarasaland Royal Palace, as they'd no doubt received news of Princess Daisy's tragic fate. Whether or not they'd be of any real help at this point was debatable.

BooGene cackled in his ear.

Nathan cursed and brought his bike to a halt. "Don't startle me like that!" he hissed.

"Apologies," said BooGene. "Just wondering if you want to know how your main is doing."

"Right now, I gotta keep my eyes on the road," said Nathan, resuming his trek, "and frankly, part of me doesn't want to know anymore. Last I checked, it didn't look good."

"Not for you," said Booverly, "but absolutely stellar for our King—who's also going to be your King very soon."

"That's right," laughed BooGene. "After he's done with Luigi, our King's coming for the entire Mushroom Kingdom, and then for Sarasaland, and then—the whole world! Whereupon he'll be known as—Emperor Boo."

"Overlord Boo is more fitting," Nathan said bitterly.

"Fear not," said BooGene. "You'll get used to him eventually."

Nathan flinched in disgust as BooGene licked up the side of his face.

"Whether Luigi wins or loses," said Nathan. "Your King will never be my King."

Nathan arrived at his house, parked his bike and cautiously entered.

There were signs of a brief struggle in the living room, and Nathan deduced that the Boos had dragged Toad into the bathroom before ending his game. Hesitating for a moment, he ventured toward the bathroom and saw the Mushroom Retainer, limp on the floor, Vicky's hair straightener still in his mouth. Sadly, Nathan moved to pull out the hair straightener but then paused, knowing that doing so would get his fingerprints on it and make him look like he was the culprit. He bowed his head, crossed himself and said a short prayer over Toad's body before returning to his living room.

There, Nathan booted up his laptop and signed back into his Spotify account. More messages from various Boos popped up, and Nathan ignored them. He opened Messenger, selected his conversation with Luigi and typed, When you get out of this, I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Then, he put on some music, went into the kitchen and fixed a snack. He ate while seated before the laptop, staring at the screen, waiting for something. Anything.

Nathan finished the snack and downed a glass of water. He logged onto YouTube and found some funny videos to watch, hoping to give his racing mind something to feed on.

But it was no good. It was impossible for those videos to entertain Nathan, with both Luigi's and Peach's fates still up in the air. The hoping and waiting was driving him mad. Perhaps it had driven him mad already.

The minutes dragged by. An unnerving chill crept into the room. There was complete silence save for Boos cackling—and not just BooGene and Booverly. More Boos had entered Nathan's house, watching him wait. Watching him slowly lose it. He could feel their breath against the back of his neck; he could feel their tongues brushing against his skin. A plethora of Boos were now gathered around him, savoring every moment of despair and desperation.

Nathan exited YouTube and leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair and staring at the ceiling.

He heard a notification chime. The moment was broken.

Nathan pulled up the Messenger chat window, and almost everything in his body froze when he saw the cryptic message.

You are too late.

What are you talking about?

I think you know, Nathan. Did you actually believe that he'd be a match for me?

Nathan felt his intestines twist.

The Boos cackled.

Must be a real bummer, knowing that your last interaction was acrimonious.

"No—please…"

That the last thing you ever said to him was that you wished you mained someone other than him.

"You sick [bleep]. You're lying," growled Nathan. "Luigi's not dead. You're lying!"

Am I? 3:D

The "incoming video call" jingle sounded. Feeling nauseous and shaking in every limb, Nathan clicked "Answer".

King Boo leered at him then, an expression of morbid satisfaction and accomplishment on his features.

"Hello, Nathan," he sneered. "Expecting someone else?"

"What have you done?" Nathan asked in a gasping voice.

"The one thing I'd wanted to do for the past eighteen years," King Boo replied.

Nathan was sweating now.

"It was neither quick nor painless," King Boo went on. "I wanted him to know his time was up. I wanted to see his eyes as he came to the realization that he failed. And I did. It was delicious." He laughed, and his brethren laughed with him.

"Oh—I guess you'll want to see him now and say your final goodbyes." He chuckled. "How inconsiderate of me." He floated over to another part of the rooftop and swiveled the camera around.

And Nathan screamed.

There lay Luigi, sprawled on the ground, glassy eyes wide open, blood streaming out of his likewise-open mouth. More blood poured out of the numerous deep gashes in his body and pooled beneath him. What looked like a spear—or a sword—was impaled through his navel, pinning him to the rooftop like King Boo's version of a prized butterfly.

"If it makes it any better—he fought me tooth-and-nail the whole way," King Boo said in a faux-comforting tone. "Getting him to stay down was a difficult task—yet here I am, victorious."

"Oh, my God," rasped Nathan. "Oh, my God. I…" He turned away and threw up into a trash bin.

He breathed raggedly. "I'm s-sorry, Luigi. I'm so sorry—I'm so sorry!" He retched again, and then he exploded in regretful sobs.

King Boo sighed. "If you and your friends had played by the rules—then he'd still be here," he said. "But such is life. Now—the time has come for me to take my place as supreme ruler of all that crawls upon the earth and swims in the sea!" He cackled.

Nathan stared at him, tears flooding his face. "Why are you doing this?" he asked in a tiny voice. "Why?"

"Why not?" grinned King Boo.

The camera lingered a while over Luigi's impaled and bloodied form before the call ended.

Nathan slumped backward, utterly defeated. The worst had come to pass—the entire world was now at King Boo's mercy.

An incoming Skype call brought him out of his funk.

Nathan accepted the call, causing Skype to automatically open.

The video feed showed a room bathed in bright pink light. A woman lay in a king bed, partially covered by a sheet, her face masked by messy golden hair.

Was this the same woman from that video?

The top left of Nathan's screen displayed a poll: Should Nathan live? As the voting commenced, a timer counted down from three and a half minutes.

And then Nathan began to laugh.

He laughed and he laughed, finding some twisted humor over the fact that these adorable, black-hearted ghosts were now deciding whether he should live or die. He laughed at the fact that all of his efforts ultimately amounted to nothing. He laughed because—he was at his wit's end.

The woman in the video feed slowly sat up in the bed, holding the bedsheet over her body. A pink sheer nightie hung over the foot of the bed, and the woman reached over and grabbed it. She pulled on the nightie and cautiously slid out of bed before turning toward the camera and pushing her hair out of her face.

It was Princess Peach!

Nathan's laughter quieted as he and Peach locked eyes. And then Peach stepped daintily toward the room's computer, smoothing the back of her nightie before taking a seat.

"Hello?" she softy asked, her dulcet voice a bit raspy. "Can you hear me?"

Nathan wiped his tears. "Yes, Your Grace."

Peach smiled sadly. "You must be Nathan."

"I am."

"Luigi told me about you," said Peach. "He's—he's coming, right?"

Nathan nodded vigorously. "I just checked up on him. He says he's minutes away. But—he needs to free Mario first. You know what they say—bros before, well, you know."

"Oh, Nathan," sighed Peach. "I know you didn't sign on for this."

"Neither did you," said Nathan, "but everything's gonna be okay. Luigi's gonna come with his vacuum, and he's gonna lay the smackdown on King Boo and make everything all right."

"Tell him—I'm in Hellen's room," said Peach. "King Boo let her have me all to herself after a while. But not before he…" She stopped and cleared her throat. "What he did to you—it wasn't fair. You shouldn't have to suffer because of some petty grudge."

"Try telling him that," Nathan said bitterly.

"I guess I should've suspected something, too," Peach told him. "When we first arrived, the hotel staff was behaving quite—strangely."

"Don't blame yourself," said Nathan. "Hellen broke King Boo out a year ago without anyone knowing."

Peach's veneer cracked just a little bit, but she pulled herself together in seconds.

"Luigi—had to retreat at first," said Nathan, "because he didn't have a weapon. But now he's coming, okay? He's coming. And he'll be there. Just you wait and see. You'll see. He promised."

As Nathan and Peach spoke, the number of votes on the poll continued to climb.

"Nathan," Peach said after a while. "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything, Your Grace," replied Nathan.

"Two years ago—Mario asked me a very important question, do you remember?"

"Yes," said Nathan.

"Unfortunately, he asked that question in the wrong place at the wrong time. But now…" Peach paused, and there was a slight crack in her voice which she quickly shoved away. "…now, I've had time to think, and—now, I finally have an answer to that question. And the answer is—yes."

"Your Grace…" Nathan began.

"Just—tell Mario, okay? Tell him I said 'yes'. Tell him that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him. Tell him that we can make it work, one way or another."

"I will," Nathan slowly replied. "I swear to you, I will. He'll be so overjoyed that you've accepted his proposal. Can you see him, Your Grace? Can you see him, smiling and jumping for joy and saying, 'Wah-hoo!'? Because you've made him the happiest plumber on Earth."

Peach giggled, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"I'm gonna be with him soon," she said happily.

"Yes, you are, Your Grace," said Nathan. "Yes, you are."

"Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you were lying about Luigi earlier." Nathan's heart dropped at Peach's words. "I know you were just trying to make me feel better. But I know the truth. Luigi—he didn't make it, did he?"

"No," Nathan replied. "He fought his hardest, though."

"I know. And Mario—did they…?"

"I wish I could lie to you, Your Grace."

"No matter," Peach said soothingly. "I'll see him again soon enough."

"Oh, Princess—I tried to help him. My friends tried to help him…"

"You did everything you could."

"But it wasn't enough," sniffled Nathan. "We let him down. We let you down, we let Mario down, we let Professor Gadd down, we let your Toad retainers down…" He couldn't stop his sudden tears.

"Hey," said Peach. "Hey, Nathan."

Nathan composed himself and studied her, sitting straight and dignified in her chair.

"It's okay," she told him. "It's okay—it's okay. Listen—some…"

The call hung up before Peach could finish.

Nathan sat there in silence, unmoving, unfeeling—uncaring.

The final seconds of the poll ticked away.

The results were tallied.

Only 3% of the Boos thought that Nathan should be spared. BooGene and Booverly were probably among them.

I guess I kinda grew on them tonight.

Nathan chose that thought as his final thought, laughing once more as the Boos descended upon him.

…

In every last room and suite of the Last Resort and from the video feeds of Nathan and his foolish friends, multitudes of Boos materialized, floating before the camera and waving hello.

King Boo waved back.

A night of fun had sadly come to an end. But it worked in favor of the Master of Illusions. All of his foes had been eliminated in one fell swoop, and the morale of anyone else who dared oppose him was irrevocably broken. From here, conquest of the world—and maybe the universe—would be a cinch.

The very thought of it made him throw back his head and laugh.

Hellen stood next to him, once again attired in an elegant gown, her hair in an updo. "Well done," she said admiringly. "Very well done."

King Boo turned to look at her. "I wouldn't have done it without you," he cooed. "I wish we'd met sooner."

"So do I," said Hellen.

"But I'm so glad we met all the same," said King Boo. "Thanks to you, I have everything I've ever wanted. Well—almost everything."

Hellen gasped as King Boo knelt before her and pulled out a ring with a small gem on top.

"I never thought I'd have a fan club president," he said, "least of all—a fan club. But you've taken me places I've never been before. Together, we can bring enemies old and new to their knees. Hellen Gravely—will you be my Queen?"

Hellen teared up. "Yes!" she trilled happily. "Yes! A billion yesses!"

King Boo slid the ring onto Hellen's finger, and she jumped into his arms, their mouths colliding in a sultry kiss.

Finally, the engaged couple broke the kiss, gazing happily at the thousands upon thousands of Luigi fans and Luigi mains, hopelessly immobilized in their artistic prisons.

"Good game, everybody," smirked King Boo. He and his fiancée then turned toward the ones reading these very words. "Would you like to play sometime?"

And they both cackled.

Good Night!

Thank you for reading. Happy Holidays!