She brushed a hand over the young boy's forehead, relieved he had finally drifted to sleep. She expected it would be restless, but it was better than nothing. She took a moment to glance over to the other child in the bedroom, her own child, barely visible in the glow of the night light, before she cautiously stepped out of the room, not willing to wake either of them. The sight of the boy's tear-stained eyes was going to haunt her for the rest of her life, even if sleep did temporarily change the image.

She'd been fighting her own tears for hours now, her chest tight, nausea overpowering her. She'd gotten up early the day before, and now, in the early morning hours, she was beginning to regret that choice. She'd, of course, had no way of knowing what would happen, but now her body was starting to fight against the sleep deprivation, screaming at her to at least try and get some form of rest. She couldn't try though, even if she wanted to, and despite her doubts that she'd be able to settle enough for sleep. That option had been snatched from her hours before.

She slowly made her way down the stairs, pausing briefly at the bottom to wipe away the stray tear that had managed to fall. She had to be strong. It was required of her right now.

She blinked away the rest of the tears, stepping into the living room and frowning deeply at the sight in front of her. The little girl still sat upright on the couch, staring at nothingness, still in the same position she had been in twenty minutes before. The only light was coming from a small lamp, the girl had objected when she'd tried to turn on any others, a feral scream that was unlike anything she had heard coming from the child before.

"Maddie, honey." She moved forward, sitting down next to her. "Why don't you try and get some sleep?"

"Alex is dead" The eight year old stated, only turning to her after speaking. "Isn't he?" A brief pause. "And my mom, she's dead too."

She bit her lip. She'd chosen not to inform the children of their losses. They'd suffered enough that day, and she wasn't sure it was her place to confirm it to them. When John had called her, told her what had happened, she had rushed to the hospital, at first she'd assumed that he needed some support himself, but he'd been quick to tell her that Madison and Matthew and been hysterical, but that the doctors were happy for them to leave – and he didn't want them in a hospital where the next bad news could always be moments away.

"A nurse said the woman and the baby died." Maddie continued, and she made a mental note to follow up on that – they shouldn't have been saying such things near the surviving children. "Will Ella and Chloe die too?"

Maddie didn't, she noted, question whether her father would also die. It was the only indication she had been given so far that the little girl believed what had happened was intentional. That the events of the day hadn't been the tragic accident that was being reported on the news.

"It was my fault."

"No." She denied. "No sweetie, none of this is your fault."

"I was being loud yesterday." Maddie decided to explain herself. "Daddy said if I didn't shut up he'd take what I love away from me. I tried really hard to be quiet but I was loud again before school. It was my fault."

"Maddie..." She was almost at a loss for words. She'd always thought the man was a piece of work, but she'd never thought he'd use threats like that with his children. She moved off the couch, crouching in front of the eight year old and placing a hand on each of her shoulders, ensuring she was being listened to. "This was not your fault, okay. You did nothing wrong."

-Ghosts-

"Nat!"

She paused at the door to the doctor's lounge, turning around just before entering the room. Connor made his way over to her, masterfully dodging the chaos of the ED. The day had barely begun and their colleagues were already dealing with the fallout of two vehicle collisions. Natalie found it a little ironic that her late arrival at work, and she assumed Connor's too, was the result of incidents that had brought patients to their door.

"Everything okay?" Connor was smiling, and from the looks on the faces of the others that had seen him, she could tell that wasn't something they had expected to see.

"I took your advice."

"Advice?"

"Last month." He shrugged. "You told me I should ask Upton to get a message to Ava for me. I was expecting a no, but she agreed."

"Oh." She didn't want to admit that her recollections of that conversation were vague at best. "That's good?"

"Yeah." He moved past her and into the lounge, so she followed, making her way to her own locker. "It took a bit of convincing, but she agreed in the end and I dropped it off with her last week."

Natalie nodded, deciding not to ask what it was that he had dropped off. It probably wasn't any of her business anyway.

He continued, seemingly not noticing her mild confusion. "If she sent it on time, it should get there today, so I'm hoping I'll hear from her soon."

"And if you don't?" Natalie queried. "Weren't you fighting?"

"Not exactly." He reminded her. "Not when she left."

"I hope you hear from her, then."

"It's the first step in getting things back to normal." He paused, remembering the issues that Natalie was having herself. "For me, anyway."

A silence fell over them as they prepared to get to work, allowing for the chaos of the ED to drift into the room and remind them of the exhausting day ahead of them, only for it to break some minutes later when Connor spoke up again.

"I spoke to Maggie, too." He decided to mention. "You were right, Ava did email her. She wouldn't tell me what about, but I think it's another good sign. She's not cutting us off, so she must want to come back."

Natalie nodded once again, not really remembering what it was that he was talking about. She assumed it must be something she had said, but it definitely wasn't anything she recalled. She was finding it easier to play along nowadays though, easier to pretend she remembered. Especially with Connor, he'd been so distracted that he didn't notice as much as he usually would have.

She'd been expecting to be recovering faster than she was. It was frustrating her that she was still having issues with her memory at all. The stress of the abduction hadn't helped, she knew that, but she had also hoped that the more detail she forgot from those days, the faster she would recover. It wasn't realistic, but she'd wanted it.

She blinked sharply and realised Connor was watching her, as if he was expecting a response to what he had said. So she figured something out. "You don't think she's cut you out?"

He smile faltered, and she instantly regretted her suggestion.

"I don't know." He admitted. "I guess we'll see."

"What if she doesn't contact you? Then you won't see."

"I guess if she never comes back I have to accept it."

"Yeah."

"You think she won't?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sure she's planning to. Why else would she be emailing Goodwin?"

"I don't know."

"If she doesn't come back..."

"Are you okay?"

He seemed a little dazed, as if he hadn't considered the possibility of her not returning before, and Natalie was really beginning to wish she hadn't said anything, that she hadn't taken away the hope he seemed to have been clinging on to. It wasn't as if she even knew anything.

The door opened, and Natalie gave up waiting for an answer to her question, instead turning to find Maggie, a look of frustration gracing her features. "I need you two out here, what's taking so long?"

Natalie turned back to Connor, confirming he was still somewhat deep in thought before turning back to the nurse. "I think I broke him?"

Maggie's expression changed in an instant, the frustration becoming mild amusement. "Not often that he's speechless. What did you do?"

"I said that Ava might not come back."

Maggie let out a laugh. "You know, she's not even here and he's more obsessed with her than ever." She moved forward, her action assuring Natalie she could handle it as the doctor left the lounge.

"Connor." Maggie stood directly in front of him, satisfied when he focused on her. "She's coming back. Wait it out by working."

He nodded, but it seemed to take a few seconds for her words to register with him. "She's coming back? Did she say that?"

"She did." Maggie confirmed. "The news report last night did, too. Did you not see the trial date? She can't testify if she isn't here."

"Trial date?"

Maggie sighed. "The sooner she's back the better. You must thrive on the competition because I don't even know what I'm looking at right now."

-Ghosts-

Ava let out a laugh as she walked into the living room, shaking her head at the sight of the banner above the fireplace, the cake on the coffee table. It had been so long that she'd almost forgotten.

"What's this?"

Chloe spun around, turning away from the window. "Happy Birthday!" She sprinted forward, and Ava accepted the hug.

"This wasn't necessary."

"Yes it was." Chloe insisted, breaking the hug. "We haven't been able to do this in years."

"Where are the others?"

Chloe smiled secretively. "Picking up your present."

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"Yes we did." Chloe grinned knowingly. "It's gonna be great."

"And it takes all three of them to get it?"

Chloe laughed. "Not exactly. Matty wanted to go, and Alex was being clingy this morning."

"Is he okay?"

Chloe shrugged. "Probably."

"Probably?"

"Didn't seem sick or anything."

"You're sure?"

"He's fine." Chloe insisted, sitting and pulling her sister down beside her. "You need to relax and enjoy your time off work."

"I'm a surgeon, Chlo, we're always working, even when we're not on the clock."

"Sounds boring."

"It's not to me."

Chloe paused, falling silent for a moment, as if she was considering her next words carefully. "Do you think Ella finished med school too?"

"I guess so." Ava answered. She'd asked herself the same question over the past years. "At least I hope so."

"Do you ever wonder why you both ended up in med school and Matty and I didn't?"

"Not really." Ava admitted. "I always knew I wanted to help people, and Ella was always driven, it just kind of fit." She sighed. "It was something mom always talked about, too. She was joking, but we always heard."

"So you're a surgeon because of mom?"

Ava shook her head, trying to find the words to explain the complicated situation. She'd never really thought much about it before. "I love my job. There's nothing I'd rather be doing. I'd be lying if I said mom wasn't the reason I looked into it in the first place, but she's not why I stuck with it. She'd never have wanted any of us in a job we hated."

"That makes sense."

"I think if you'd heard the way mom talked about it, you'd have wanted to go to med school too."

"I thought about it." Chloe admitted. "But with everything that happened it seemed unattainable."

Ava nodded, wishing she had more understanding that she did. Despite how open Chloe had been, she'd never really know what her sister had gone through over the past few years. "If you wanted to, you still could."

"Nah." Chloe shrugged. "Not my thing. I think I only thought about it because I hoped it'd mean bumping into you somewhere."

"You need to figure things out for yourself."

"Yeah." Chloe agreed. "It hasn't exactly been easy." She paused. "Not that it was for you."

"None of us have had it easy."

Chloe sighed, before forcing a smile. "Anyway, it's your birthday, we can talk about this another time."

Ava frowned, knowing that was unlikely. As open as Chloe had been, she'd been shying away from any real depth. She'd focused on the good and acted like there had been no bad, but Ava knew better. She knew her sister. There was something more going on.

"You know," Ava tried. "We haven't talked about Blake yet."

"We don't need to."

"Chlo." Ava raised an eyebrow. "The guy killed someone out of loyalty to you. We can't not talk about that."

"You won't like what I have to say."

Ava felt her heart drop, fear rising in her. "Try me."

"Why bring it up?"

"Chloe..."

Chloe let out a groan of frustration. "He was all I had." Her irritation was obvious in her tone, and Ava was initially taken aback by it. "And he would have done anything for me. I didn't even have to ask."

Ava was about to continue the conversation when she heard the front door open, and she instinctively stood up, moving towards the entrance to the living room to look towards it. She couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face at the sight in front of her, and she darted forward, accepting her second hug of the day.

"Hailey!"

"Happy birthday!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Then it wouldn't have been a surprise."

The two women pulled back, taking each other in for the first time in months.

"I really didn't need a surprise."

Hailey laughed, before glancing around the entryway of the house. "This is pretty nice."

Ava nodded. "It's not home, though."

They both turned to the door as John stepped in, carrying what Ava could only assume was her friend's luggage. He dropped it by the door, smiling at his niece. "Happy birthday, mouse."

"I'm hearing that a lot."

"And you're going to keep hearing it." His smile didn't falter. "We have big plans for today."

"I'm not really a go big kind of person." She gestured towards Hailey. "This is enough."

"Sorry," He shrugged. "Morgan family movie day is not optional. Chloe wants to watch The Wizard of Oz."

"I didn't see Chloe as someone that watches musicals." Hailey mused, shooting Ava a questioning look.

"It was Eve's favourite." John explained. "Used to watch it with the kids all the time. After she died I continued the tradition. Wanted them to have something to connect to their mom with."

Ava smiled at the memory. It saddened her that Matty and Chloe were both too young to have many memories of those movie days with their mother, the ones that had always started in Oz. As much as she liked them having the connection, it wasn't the same as remembering like she got to.

"She loved the music." She gave a soft smile. "She was always singing."

"You were always making her sing." John reminded her. "Some days it seemed to be all you ever wanted."

"It was." Ava paused. "Some days it still is." They fell silent, and she immediately decided the silence needed to be broken. "Where are Matty and AJ?"

John sighed, shaking his head in amusement. "Your nephew has decided he's not getting out of the car. He's a stubborn kid."

Ava nodded, turning to Hailey. "Tell me you're staying."

"Just for a couple of days." Hailey smiled. "I don't think Voight would have agreed to the time off for any reason other than you."

Ava let out a laugh of disbelief. "I barely even know the guy."

"I think he knows all he needs to about you." The detective shrugged. "After everything that happened."

Ava moved forward, grasping Hailey's luggage before her uncle could stop her, sure to use her right arm to avoid being lectured by everyone. "If AJ's playing up, we should have a bit of time."

She gestured for Hailey to follow her up the stairs, but didn't turn to face her again until she had placed Hailey's luggage down at the foot of her bed, at which point her friend had closed the door behind them.

"First things first." Hailey started. "Your uncle calls you 'mouse'?"

Ava nodded. "Since I was little, why?"

"You know Jay has a friend that goes by mouse?"

"What?"

"It's the weirdest coincidence."

"I've kind of started to expect coincidences." Ava shrugged. "My scrub nurse at Med, her name's Beth, same as my aunt. Then there's the whole Eve/Ava thing. Ethan was the name of my neighbour in New York. One of the firefighters that I've seen at the hospital a few times is called Matt. There's been so many connections to my old life over the years that I expect them."

"That's strange."

"It's almost like fate didn't want me to forget."

"Makes sense." Hailey decided. "There's something else."

Ava looked at her friend curiously, and Hailey moved forward, rummaging through one of her bags for something before standing up and facing her friend.

"I figured it'd be best if I gave you this when we were alone."

Ava frowned, taking the item from Hailey's hand and shooting her a questioning gaze, not understanding why it would be such a secret. "A birthday card?"

"You should open it." Hailey sighed. "I considered not giving it to you but it's not my decision to make."

Ava's frown deepened, and she flipped over the item in her hand, looking at the front of the envelope. Her breath caught in her throat. She knew that handwriting, it'd be impossible for her not to. In the past she'd spent hours going over surgical notes written in that handwriting.

Connor.

She looked up again to see the detective biting her lip. "Did you want me to leave you for a bit?"

Ava shook her head. She had to admit that she wasn't really sure what she wanted. She hadn't expected him to even know when her real birthday was, let alone thought he would go to the effort to get something to her. Whatever this was.

What did it even mean? Why would he send it? Sure, they'd been getting on, but that didn't really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. It didn't change what had happened between them, all the hurt and pain that would always be there.

She remained focused on the familiar writing, tracing the letters with her eyes. She hadn't seen it in a while, and some strange part of her, she realised, had missed it. It was never something that would be easy to explain.

"When did he give you this?"

"Um.." Hailey started. "Last week. He wanted me to tell you he understands. Didn't elaborate on that."

Ava nodded, looking up from the envelope once again and meeting her friends eyes, about to question her further.

On seeing Hailey's face, she pushed all thoughts of the card and it's sender from her mind, realising that something else was bothering her friend.

"What is it?"

Hailey sighed, sitting down on the bed. "I can't go into it too much." She glanced up. "But you told me that Dalton went after your family over some borrowed money?"

Ava nodded. "Yes. Uncle John thought he needed to be open about it."

"Right."

"What is it?"

Hailey frowned, and Ava could tell she really didn't want to say what she knew had to come next.

"I don't even know how to say this."

"Getting it over with is usually the best way."

"There was no borrowed money. He's lying to you."