The gate squealed shut as Anna disembarked the RV. The day was late when they returned to Alexandria. She felt heavy. Her eyes trailed over to the wall with its names painted in black.
"Hey."
Anna turned to find Emma standing beside her. Just over Emma's shoulder, she could see Paul speaking with Rick.
"I just wanted to thank you—all of you—for what you did," Emma said.
Anna nodded quietly, unsure of what to say.
"I know it was a lot to ask of you," Emma went on. "It's a lot to ask of anyone. So, thank you."
"We had to," Anna said, perhaps as more of a reassurance to herself than to Emma. She shook her head. "It's late. You and Paul should stay the night, head out in the morning."
"Yeah, Rick said the same," Emma said. "We're going to."
"Emma," Paul called, gesturing for her to join him.
"I'll see you around," Emma assured, heading off.
Anna watched her head down the street with Paul and Rosita until the three disappeared inside an unoccupied house.
Shaking her head, Anna joined Daryl and Jessie as they walked down the street towards their home. The three cleaned themselves and heated up some chili Anna had prepared the night before leaving. They ate in silence, the scraping of their spoons against their bowls the only noise.
"I'm gonna go check on Carol," Daryl informed after he cleared his plate and stood.
"Take her some food," Anna insisted, standing to grab a Tupperware bowl from the cabinet. She dished up what was left of their dinner and passed it to Daryl.
He took the food and left, leaving Jessie and Anna to sit alone at the table.
"You think she's okay?" Jessie asked.
"No."
Anna sat tapping her fingers against the armrests of her chair and staring at the plastic square in the center of the desk. The house had been silent with Jessie and Daryl asleep in their beds for the past five hours. Anna couldn't sleep, though, her mind plagued with thoughts.
"Are you doing okay?" Glenn asked.
"I'm fine."
"I'm just worried about you. You've never been one to… cope very well,"
"You used to write all the time, and that was good, but now—"
"Sometimes writing is the only thing that gets me through the day."
"I'm okay. This is just what I need to do right now."
"I'm sorry, Anna, but what you need to do is face your grief. You're avoiding it."
"I wish I was as strong as you."
"Lindsey wasn't your fault."
Anna winced. With a slow breath, she leaned forward and pulled one of the manilla folders from the short stack. She ran her fingers over the face of the folder before opening it carefully—as if opening it would set off a bomb.
The first thing she saw was a polaroid photo. She touched the photo gently before turning her attention to the words written on the page. She hadn't been able to bring herself to do anything with this particular file since making the CD.
Lindsey Lopez
17 years old
DOB: August 18, 1994
DOD:
Parents: Ana and Gabriel Lopez
The rest was a recounting of Lindsey's story—the time she spent outside the walls with her mother and father, how they found Alexandria, and her time spent within the walls. Anna set the file down and picked up a pen, holding the nib over the page, and glancing at the sticky note on the desk lamp. It read 587.
Anna pressed the pen nib against the page and drew out the numbers 553. Thirty-four entire days had gone by. Had it really been that long?
She wanted to stop there, to close the file and tuck it away—to pretend again. Instead, she flipped through the pages until she found the end of the interview transcript.
Lindsey Lopez; day 553—night. Died saving the life of Jessie Wycoff from a herd of the undead that penetrated the walls of Alexandria as a direct result of the Wolf Invasion. Buried within the walls of Alexandria.
Anna paused. What else was she supposed to say? That Lindsey shouldn't have been the one to save Jessie? That she died terrified and in pain? That if Anna had just been strong enough—maybe Lindsey would still be alive.
Anna let out a long and shuddering breath as she leaned forward and rested her head against her trembling fist as it gripped the pen, the nib pressing hard into page. A sob leaked from her throat.
Anna pushed the chair back and stood. As she left the room, she snatched up the plastic square from the desk and silently slipped out of the house.
Not entirely sure of where she was going, Anna walked down the dark street, following the edge of the sidewalk to the front gates. She could see a figure standing on the platform, holding a rifle, but she couldn't make them out. It didn't matter.
She turned left for the row of bushes and paused at the opening, staring inside the dark graveyard. With one last deep breath, Anna stepped forward until she stood in front of a month-old grave, the name Lindsey carved into the wooden cross.
Anna stood quietly for a long time, just staring at the name.
"I'm sorry," she finally breathed.
It was early; the sun was barely peeking over the tree tops. Anna was the only one on the streets, standing in front of a two-story house painted a light yellow. She looked down at the CD, gleaming in the slowly brightening morning.
She scuffed her heel against the pavement and took a deep breath before starting toward the house. Her heart pounded against her chest as she neared the front door. She paused, still trying to decide if she would be able to face the people on the other side or if she should just leave the disc on the porch. The decision was made for her when the white door slowly opened to reveal a middle-aged man with deep shadows under his eyes.
"Come in," Gabriel said, stepping to the side to allow her entrance.
Anna hesitated a moment, but walked up the steps and through the door.
"Have a seat," he instructed, gesturing to the darkened living room.
Anna did as she was told and sat in an armchair across from the woman—Ana—on the couch, who was wrapped in a grey and black blanket. The two sat in silence, a CD player/radio between them, as Gabriel worked in the kitchen. He soon joined them, a steaming coffee mug in hand.
"Here," he offered, passing the mug to Anna.
She accepted it.
"We've been waiting for you," Ana said, her voice hoarse; Anna was certain she had been crying recently.
"I'm sorry—" Anna said, clearing her throat.
It was quiet for a long time, no one really looking at each other or drinking their coffee. It was like they were frozen—like the whole world had stopped within the confines of the house. The air was heavy and solemn—suffocating.
Anna looked to the CD player/radio on the coffee table. Ana and Gabriel had indeed been waiting for her, and she had left them to stew while she was busy pretending everything was okay.
She let out a low sigh and set her mug on the table beside her before pushing herself to her feet and opening the CD port. Her hands were shaking as she opened the CD case and placed the CD into the player. She shut the little port and hit the play button, then settled back into her armchair.
There was nothing for a moment, and still no one looked at each other. Anna had never been on this side of the door when delivering this kind of CD. She knew what was on it—she had memorized it word for word. But what were Ana and Gabriel going to do once it started?
"My name is Lindsey Lopez," came that familiar voice. "I'm seventeen years old and I like your boots."
Anna felt a small smile creep onto her face, remembering how she'd been sitting in this very armchair during the interview, Lindsey in the middle of the couch while her parents stood in the kitchen preparing lunch.
She heard a slight hiccup and looked up to see a sad smile on Ana's face, her hand gripping Gabriel's as the interview continued.
Emma and Paul stood at the gates, waiting on the car that they would take for their return trip to Hilltop. Anna, Carl, and Rick stood nearby.
"This is good," Paul said, nodding. "What happened the last two days—it wasn't pretty. But now our people can open up trade. We can work together to forge a new future."
"I'm glad we could come to an understanding," Rick said, watching as an old, black Impala pulled up. He turned to Paul and patted him on the shoulder. "We can all finally start to move forward."
"I hope I'll see you around," Emma said, turning to Anna.
"Yeah, maybe we can discuss our opinions on Macbeth," Anna teased.
Movement caught Anna's eye, and she glanced over to see Morgan practicing his movements near the solar panels.
"What is he doing?" Emma asked, nodding towards him.
"He's training—Aikido," Anna explained. "He trained me in it, too."
"I've heard of that," Emma said. "Why aren't you training with him?"
"He—uh…," Anna stammered. "He decided to discontinue my training due to irreconcilable differences."
"What differences were those?"
"On whether or not to kill the Saviors," Anna said with a sigh.
"Oh," Emma said. "It's not like you wanted to do it."
"I didn't have to do it," Anna corrected. "I had a choice."
"What you chose saved lives—brought our communities together," Emma insisted.
Anna looked down at Emma, looking over the woman's smooth, pale face framed by her red hair.
"Every choice we make has a consequence—good or bad," Anna said.
"You're right," Emma agreed. "So, let's enjoy the good while we can."
"Emma," Paul called. "You ready?"
"Yeah," Emma said, stepping away from Anna. "I'll see you around," she said before walking around the car and climbing into the passenger seat.
Anna, Carl, and Rick watched as the gate screeched open and the car pulled forward, heading down the road.
"Hey, Anna," Carl said, pulling her attention to him. "You wanna come over later and play some video games?"
Anna smiled.
"Yeah, that sounds fun," she said. They agreed to a time, then Carl and Rick both headed homes.
She turned back to Morgan to see him still running through the movements. Taking a deep breath, she started towards him. As she approached, he stilled and settled his stick on the ground, stoically leaning against it.
"Morgan," she greeted.
"Anna," he replied, not looking at her.
They stood in silence for a moment.
"I'm not going to apologize for the choice I made," she finally said.
"Is that what you came over here to tell me?" Morgan asked, pressing his lips together.
"Morgan."
He looked at her then, and she could see the disappointment and frustration there.
"You trained me so that I could have a choice. I chose. It may not have been the one you wanted, but I got to choose for myself," she sighed and shook her head. "You gave me that."
"You didn't have to kill them," Morgan insisted.
"I thought about it, Morgan," Anna said. "I didn't just pick what everyone else was doing, or decide on a whim. I hate killing." She took a long breath and exhaled slowly. "It's what needed to be done. They weren't just going to walk away, and we couldn't just lock them up."
"What if we can?" Morgan asked suddenly. "What if we can?"
Anna ran her fingers over the metal bars and looked over the cinder block walls. The cell was almost completely built, save for a few cinder blocks missing at the top.
"You did all of this?" Anna asked. "By yourself? How long?"
"Since we started your trainin'," Morgan said.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She pushed. "I would have helped."
"I'm tellin' you now."
Anna looked over the materials laid off to the side, cement set on a bench, cinderblocks waiting to be placed. Morgan had given Anna a choice by teaching her Aikido and the stick. With this cell, he was giving the rest of Alexandria a choice, too.
"Well, I'm here now," she said.
Without debate, the two set to work. Anna climbed the stool and started laying cement, followed by Morgan placing the cinder blocks and smoothing everything out. It continued like this until there was only one spot left.
Anna set the cement into the final space and stepped aside, allowing Morgan to climb the stool and slide the last cinder block into place. Anna smiled at the work, wiping her hands of the wet cement before it dried too much on her skin.
"Morgan, Anna."
The two turned to see Rick on the other side of the bars.
"Why?" He asked, glancing around at the cell.
Morgan glanced at Anna before looking back to Rick.
"It'll give you some choices next time."