AUTHOR NOTE – Crossed over with the end of Marvel Civil War (comics version)

Tony Stark AKA Iron Man AKA Director of SHIELD (S.H.I.E.L.D. if you like excessive periods) AKA Tony S of Tony S and the Registrators (the SHIELD Agents, who were forced into the band, were not overly happy about this) needed a break. What was now known as the Superhero Civil War had finally come to an end, and the costs had been excessively high. He had known that the Superhero Registration Act (SHRA) would be unpopular with many of his allies and friends in the community, and he knew that he was going to be sacrificing many of those relationships. But he had taken the reigns of enforcing the law so that he could possibly temper the impulses of the more militantly anti-superhero authorities. He stood by his efforts, and truly believed that he had done the best he could with an awful situation. He just wished that it hadn't cost him so much.

For now, he was dealing with the aftermath. He had taken the role as the Director of SHIELD, to maintain his position of coordinating the efforts to continue enforcing the SHRA to track down the remaining superheroes who had not registered. Captain America was in a cell, awaiting his day in court for his opposition to the SHRA. At least he was finally able to start moving the prisoners from Prison 42 in the Negative Zone back to the Earth in various locations in the 50 states (leaving the prisoners who were actual dangerous supervillains, as opposed to superheroes who simply didn't wish to register).

Tony needed a simple diversion.

At this point, an alert pinged on the SHIELD systems. An unknown kid in his mid-twenties was floating over the skies of New York City, just a leisurely ten-minute flight away. Probably some nobody who just got their powers. With a small smile, he sent a note saying he was taking charge of the situation as his armor assembled around his body. Off he flew to meet the newest superhero.

Doctor Stephen Strange AKA Sorcerer Supreme AKA Doctor S of Doctor S and the Funky Mystics (once he was able to convince his friends to form a band, and possibly learn to play music) was sipping some tea. He had sat out the recent Civil War, save for providing sanctuary to those heroes opposing the registration. It had been rough to sit out the fight, but he felt that his mandate was the protection of the entire dimension, and it was not his place to choose a side in a purely local matter. So, while he didn't feel the same pressures as a certain armored superhero, he was tired and could do with a nice cup of tea.

He smiled as he inhaled the aroma of the wafting steam from the cup. As he brought the rim to his lips for that first sip, the cup slipped from his hands as his mystical senses screamed in confusion. Something insanely powerful had just entered the dimension without warning. His senses didn't tell him that it was a source of good or evil, it was just… confusing.

Stephen sighed and ignored Wolverine as the man strolled in to check on the noise. Touching the Eye of Agamotto that clasped his Cloak of Levitation around his throat he looked down with annoyance at his tea that was now soaking into his rug. Shaking his head, he focused back on the source of immense confusing power.

"Eye of Agamotto" he intoned, "give me sight beyond sight!"

Wolverine snorted. "Isn't that for the Thundercats, bub?"

Stephen huffed in annoyance and ignored the short Canadian with as much dignity as he could muster. Refocusing his magic, he used the Eye to observer the dimensional visitor.

His sight zoomed through space and settled on the back of a young man floating in the air above the streets of New York City. As he looked deeper to take in the man's aura, the man did something that should have been impossible. The young man turned his head and looked directly into Stephen's eyes (despite Stephen not being physically present), smiled, and moved his lips to speak silently. Just then, Stephen saw the man's aura and he gasped.

Back in his room in his New York brownstone, Stephen fell to one knee as his Cloak of Levitation disconnected from the Eye and flew away towards one of the windows in the room.

"Everything OK, Doc?" spoke a concerned Wolverine.

Stephen stood slowly, taking a deep breath. "It's… I don't think the visitor is a danger, but his aura… it's…"

"What?"

"Everyone has an aura. There is an art to reading them, but in general the darker the aura, the darker the soul. Conversely, the lighter the aura, the purer the soul. Of course, someone with a white aura can still be dangerous, but it works as an initial assessment."

"And his aura?"

"Was a winky face emoji."

Wolverine grunted in amusement, his eyes diverting to the wall.

Stephen continued speaking, his forehead furrowing in confusion. "The he mouthed something to me when he saw me. 'Your cloak looks lonely'. I wonder what that meant."

Wolverine pointed to the window. "Probably had something to do with that."

Stephen looked over to the window. The Cloak of Levitation was floating nearby the window, which was not surprising. The curtains in front of the window were now animated with life, which was surprising. The Cloak engaging in what was clearly a heavy make out session with the curtains… that was disturbing.

As the two men watched the magical cloak and window dressings become increasingly passionate, they both started to edge out of the room before they discovered just how far three pieces of cloth could take things.

"So, what are you going to do about all of that, Doc?"

"The only thing I can do."

With that, Stephen opened the liquor cabinet.

Harry Potter AKA Harry Potter AKA Harry Potter (he had just arrived in this universe, so hadn't gotten any nicknames yet) was chilling out max, relaxing all cool. As was normal for him, he had no clue what was going on and liked it that way. All he knew was that he was hovering over a city (he assumed it was Paris disguised as New York City, universes being tricky that way). The sky was blue, the clouds were white, and there was some weird guy staring at him through a magic eye thingy.

Looking back, he stared into the eyes of the man with the kick-ass living cloak and questionable facial hair (it seemed like the sort of thing one would find on the lead singer of a vanity band). Harry then smiled happily and spoke (not knowing the Peeping Steve couldn't hear the words).

"Your cloak looks lonely."

With a flex of magic, Harry ensured the Cloak of Kick-Assery would never be lonely again. At which point, the other man gasped and stopped his spying.

Harry shrugged, laid back, and stared at the clouds as he floated horizontally.

Ten minutes later, a voice interrupted his relaxation.

"Hey, kid! You awake?"

Harry sat up to look at the source. In front of him was a suit of armor, that clearly had a man stuffed inside. The color scheme looked familiar… ah, yes, this was probably a time displaced Gryffindor. It seemed like the most logical conclusion.

"What's up Godric?"

Harry sensed that the man in the suit was frowning, though the armor showed no expression. After a wiggle of Harry's finger, the armor's faceplate's expression began to match the expression of the occupant. Yep, he was frowning. Harry, not wanting to see a frown, inverted himself (head down towards the ground) so he could flip that frown upside down.

Godric's frown changed to an expression of confusion, as he responded. "Iron Man."

Harry flipped over again (head to the sky) and grinned broadly. Not even here an hour, and he had a nickname.

"That works for me, Godric. I am Iron Man!"

"No… I am Iron Man!"

"Well, that's a bit confusing. If we both have the same nickname, that is going to make it very difficult to sort out who gets what if we ever share a fridge and start labeling our food. You need to think these things through Godric."

Godric stared at Harry for several seconds, his face plate taking long slow blinks. After a long sigh, he responded.

"Can you please just follow me down to a SHIELD office to get you processed?"

Harry AKA Iron Man nodded happily and followed Godric AKA Iron Man 2 Electric Boogaloo down to a random building. They then entered a drab interrogation room. Harry took a seat while Godric sat in the other chair, his armor flying off him and going somewhere (Harry hoped it was somewhere fun). Godric, now wearing a nice suit and sporting questionable facial hair (it seemed like the sort of thing one would find on the lead singer of a vanity band that a boss forced their employees to join), pulled out a pile of paper and placed it on the table.

Tony stared at the kid who seemed a bit unhinged, and like he might be swimming in the deep end of the Deadpool.

"OK, kid, other than calling yourself…" Tony sighed before continuing. "… Iron Man. What is your name?"

"Harry Potter"

"OK, Harry, I'm not sure why you don't know this, but I'm Tony Stark. You can call me Tony."

"Is Tony Stark a shortening of Godric Gryffindor?"

"Why would it… how would that even… never mind. Sure! But I prefer Tony."

Harry nodded with a grin. "You got it Tony."

Tony smiled lightly. The kid was annoying, but the positive attitude was infectious. "Great. Now, are you registered in compliance with the SHRA?"

Harry quirked his head like a puppy trying to figure out how bubble wrap works. "The Princess of Power?"

"That's She-Ra, but I was talking about the S.H.R.A. The Superhero Registration Act."

"What is that?"

Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose and began to explain the situation to Harry. He was definitely going to get the kid a psych evaluation before the day was done.

When Tony was done explaining the broad strokes and showing the text of the law, he was pleased to see that the kid was smiling. He really hated having to use force on kids who hadn't done anything wrong except for "having powers". Hopefully, this simple distraction would prove to be pleasant after all.

"So," spoke Harry, practically vibrating. "I sign that form, and I get to become a superhero?"

"Well, once you go through training and getting certified. But, after six months to a year, you'll be able to apply to join a regulated superhero team."

Harry frowned. "I'm not a fan of red tape."

Tony could sympathize, as he certainly wouldn't have wanted to deal with all of that when he was in his mid-20s. Still, he had laws to enforce. "Sorry kid, we all have to follow the rules."

Harry quirked his head again, much like a puppy staring at an unattended steak. "Well, then let's make sure we ALL follow the rules. But first…"

The room filled with a disembodied voice shouting "whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop, nyuk nyuk nyuk", followed by Harry floating at high speeds backwards through the walls of the building and escaping with ease. Tony stared in disbelief at the Harry shaped hole in the wall, looking like the kid was forming his arms into the shape of a Y. As his armor flew onto his body, he looked through the walls, and saw the three remaining holes had the kid forming different letters. M, then C, and finally A.

Shaking his head, he took off to apprehend the kid turned fugitive.

Unknown to Tony, a man had just come into existence. The man was of Jamaican descent, had some short hair with dreads sticking up, had rectangular glasses, wore a green suit with off-yellow shirt, held a clipboard, and had the official credentials of an Agent of SHIELD. He also had the ability to duplicate and teleport himself endlessly, in the pursuit of his one true passion. Bureaucracy!

Stephen Strange rubbed his head, as he felt another surge of insanely powerful magic coming from the newcomer.

Wolverine walked into the sitting room, having just come down from Stephen's room (he had heard a weird sound).

"So," Stephen asked. "Is my Cloak still making out with curtains?"

"Yep, and your sheets have joined in."

"Not my blankets or comforter?"

"The comforter seems content to just watch. The blankets are in your bathroom talking with your towels and bathmat. I think they're trying form a union."

Stephen pulled out a fresh bottle of rum.

Roger Forest, Chief Financial Officer of Stark Enterprises, looked up as a man in a green suit, holding a clipboard, walked into his office.

"Can I help you?"

The man pulled out a SHIELD badge. "Hermes Conrad, Agent of SHIELD. I'm here to deliver some papers to inform you of some changes to your company."

Roger looked at the foot-tall stack of papers that appeared from thin air and then dropped on his desk with a thud.

"And what changes are those?"

Hermes smiled blandly. "Put simply, we realized that Tony Stark is a registered Superhero. Given that his registration was accepted, we examined his power set. While the Iron Man armor is impressive, his real powers are his intellect and wealth. Under the terms of the SHRA, all of Tony Stark's intellectual property, wealth, and money generating ventures are being transferred to the possession of SHIELD. The changes are effective in one week."

Before Roger could respond, the SHIELD agent had already turned around and left the room. Roger reached for his phone.

Tony was pressing his limits chasing after this Harry Potter kid. The kid was insanely fast, zooming around in seemingly random patterns. Luckily, the kid appeared to only be interested in running away and not fighting. It was still frustrating, as the kid maintained a constant distance of one foot from Tony.

A phone call came in from Roger Forest, which Tony sent to voicemail. His CFO could wait.

Tony wondered if there was any method to the random patterns that the Potter kid was making.

Wilson Fisk AKA Kingpin looked up as a man in a green suit, holding a clipboard, walked into his office (bypassing all security).

"You have ten seconds to tell me why I shouldn't make your life a living hell."

The man pulled out a SHIELD badge. "Hermes Conrad, Agent of SHIELD. I'm here to deliver some papers to inform you of some changes to both your company and your personal situation."

Kingpin ignored the thud of papers, as he stared at the SHIELD agent. "What changes?"

Hermes smiled blandly. "Put simply, extreme wealth is now deemed a superpower. Under the terms of the SHRA, all your personal wealth, and money generating ventures are being transferred to the possession of SHIELD. You also need to register as a superhero where you will have to follow SHIELD orders in how you use your superpower, put in other words, we'll decide how you spend your money. The changes are effective in one week. If you fail to register, you will be sent to Prison 42."

The SHIELD agent had turned around and left the room. Kingpin reached for his phone to first call his lawyers, and then the many politicians who had accepted his sizable donations.

At the same time, every billionaire in the country was receiving the same ultimatum. Quite a few powerful politicians were suddenly finding themselves under a deluge of phone calls.

Tony zoomed after the Potter kid, now feeling certain there was a definite pattern to the erratic flight path they were taking.

"Come on, Harry, you don't have to make this difficult. I know that registration is not ideal, but we need the people on our side. We can't just do whatever we want without consequences. People need to feel safe!"

Harry didn't slow down, and when he responded, his voice was calm (the kid wasn't even slightly winded). "Well, safety is easy to do. But I still refuse to do classes."

With that, Harry's speed kicked up. Tony sighed, and forced his systems to operate at 110% of optimum.

Stephen Strange rubbed his eyes, as another blast of above cosmic level magic filled his senses. A half empty bottle of rum sitting beside him.

Wolverine walked in from the living room. "All of the upstairs bathroom linens having started to throw around copies of the Communist Manifesto. The downstairs bathroom linens are tossing around Ayn Rand. The living throw rug just left out the front door, seeming rather angry, leaving behind an advertisement for Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Want me to track it down?"

Stephen wished that his magic wasn't counteracting the liquor in his system. He huffed and answered. "What I want you to track down is a bottle of Vodka from kitchen freezer."

Peter Parker AKA Spiderman was relaxing with his Aunt May and wife, Mary Jane. They were fugitives, running away from the law because Peter had decided to switch sides from the Pro-Registration side to the Anti-Registration side of the Superhero Civil War. He regretted revealing his identity to the world, because now he knew that his wife and aunt were in mortal peril.

Suddenly, his Spider Sense tingled, and he jumped to knock Mary Jane away from the window.

A crash followed by a loud "BOING" was heard.

Peter looked over to the window, seeing it creating a spider web around the unmistakable shape of a bullet hole. He then looked over at his Aunt May, who held the side of her stomach with confusion etched on her face.

Peter ran to his Aunt, his heart filled with fear and dread. He grabbed her and lowered her to the ground.

"May! Are you hurt?"

Aunt May looked down at her stomach, pulling her hand away. She was certain she had been shot, yet there was no blood or any damage.

"I'm… fine… it felt like a butterfly bumped into me and tickled me a little."

Peter looked at the bullet on the ground, and then covered his Aunt's body as his senses tingled again.

CRASH, BOOP, CRASH, ZING, CRASH, BIDDLY BOO.

Peter felt three bullets hit his back, tickle him, and bounce to the ground harmlessly.

"What the hell?"

Peter took off to find the sniper. He didn't even notice the window self-repairing.

In a demonic dimension, the demon Mephisto screamed in rage. "Come on! That's just not fair!"

The Majority Leader of the Senate looked at the SHIELD Agent wearing a green jacket, and holding a clipboard, as the man dropped a pile of papers on his desk.

Hermes smiled blandly. "Put simply, the ability to control superheroes is a known superpower. As politicians now can control superheroes, holding a political office with great power is now deemed a superpower. Under the terms of the SHRA, you need to register as a superhero where you will have to follow SHIELD orders in how you use your superpower, put in other words, we will decide how you vote in the Senate. The changes are effective in one week. If you fail to register, you will be sent to Prison 42."

Every member of the House and Senate was receiving the same ultimatum. As was the President.

When the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court was informed that the power to determine the validity of a law was a superpower, he asked what Prison 42 was.

Hermes shrugged. "It's a prison located in the Negative Zone, where the very essence of the dimension has a known harmful effect to the mental and physical state of people. One of the prison's designers, Reed Richards, has done a great deal of research there. As a fun fact, the first time he was asked to build a prison there, he said that it would be tantamount to torture. Luckily, it's not on US soil so we don't have to worry about constitutional protections, and you will be held there without trial until you register and then you'll give judgements that SHIELD deems correct. We'll see you in a week."

Once left alone, the Chief Justice reached for his phone.

Tony ignored the warning that his system had shut down tertiary systems (like his connection to his cell phone), as he chased after Harry. He was more interested in the erratic pattern.

"Hey Harry!"

"Yeah?"

"Your flight pattern… are you spelling out the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby?"

"Well, you do want me to collaborate with you."

Tony chuckled.

"Listen, kid, I like you. But you need to stop this and register. Wouldn't you rather be a role model that the children can look up to?"

Harry smiled broadly. "I hadn't even thought about the children."

Tony grumbled as he was forced to boost his power generation to 200% of optimum. This could not go on for much longer.

Huh, was Harry now spelling out Informer by Snow?

Stephen Strange took another swig of Vodka as he felt like a dozen sets of Infinity Stones were used at once.

Wolverine walked into the wine cellar, where Stephen was sitting.

"It looks like your Cloak has decided to settle down with your dining room tablecloth. The curtains and sheets have started an orgy in your linen closet. The upstairs and downstairs bathroom linens have entered a cold war. And three more Bed, Bath, and Beyond stores have started a very comfortable revolt, with the pillows being the primary front-line fighters."

Stephen waved away the news, as he prepared to shotgun a bottle of white wine.

Margaret Wilson stared at her five-year-old son, Billy, as he flew threw the air, bouncing off various hard surfaces without any apparent damage to her child. He had just gained this strange new power about five minutes ago. She barely noticed that everything that was broken by Billy was returning to pristine condition within a minute after breaking.

"I'm sorry," she said to the SHIELD agent, "what do these papers mean?"

Hermes smiled blandly. "Put simply, every child under the age of 18 has, due to a magical event, been given the superpower of flight. Under the terms of the SHRA, your son needs to register as a superhero where he will have to work for SHIELD for the rest of his life, where he will no longer have any rights as a US citizen. He has one week. If he fails to register, he will be sent to Prison 42."

As Margaret stared in shock at the man's back, she reached for her phone. She didn't notice the same man walking away from nearly every house on her block.

"OK, kid. I'm done."

Tony looked at Harry, as the kid looked back down at him, with a question in his eyes.

"I am almost out of energy, and I clearly can't keep up with you. So, you can stop playing with me. I like you, Harry, so please come in and register. The next people who come after you aren't going to be as nice, and I would hate for you to get hurt."

"Huh. Well, thanks for the race. I haven't flown like that since that one universe where I raced some guy on a silver surfboard. I guess I'll move on."

With the sound of an 80s laugh track, Harry Potter disappeared from the universe.

Tony came to a stop to recharge, and that is when he saw he had missed over ten thousand phone calls.

As Harry went on to a different universe, where he entered a hot dog eating contest with a guy named Galactus, he never knew the impact he had in Godric AKA Iron Man 2 The Quickening AKA Tony's universe.

He never knew that the SHRA was revoked within 24 hours of his departure (it was a race between the politicians and the Supreme Court), nor was it reinstated (apparently not many were keen on forcing their children to become effectively slaves of the State, nor were the rich interested in losing their wealth).

He was unaware that a race of shape changing aliens, called Skrulls, had been infiltrating the superhero community, intelligence communities, and every sector of public life on Earth for years. Nor did he know that their invasion was cut short when an army of Hermes Conrads served them with papers letting them know that they hadn't filled in the proper forms for an invasion of the entire planet (they had filled out the form for Rhode Island, but they lost their drive when they discovered their inability to cause any lasting damage to people or property).

When a wave of energy hit the planet, switching the moral compasses of everyone, the only real difference was all superheroes grew a goatee (except for Tony and Stephen who lost their facial hair).

Harry became slightly aware of the universe as he was finishing his hot dog eating contest (after several long years, he and Galactus called it a draw). Harry saw a rogue universe about to collide with his current one. However, as they impacted each other, there was a reality spanning sound.

BOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOING!

With that, the rogue Universe bounced away to eternal safety, led by its fluffy linen overlords.

Eventually, amongst the residents of this multiverse (one amongst an infinite number of nearly identical multiverses), Earth-616 was renamed to be Earth-Nerf.