Disclaimer: as always, I don't own Marvel, MCU or any characters in this. I am not getting paid, no copyright, yada yada.

"Kill him." You look down at the gun in your hand, frowning but holding it chest level to the man in front of you. Cocking the gun, you hear the small voice in your head telling you to put it down.

But the voice snarling at you demands you do it. Pulling the trigger, you watch as the man slumps forward, making you gasp and drop the gun with a clatter as you realize it is Peter. "NO! Kid!" You scream, running forward and pushing the kid's hair back as your heart races. You killed him... "Please! No, I wouldn't do that!" you sob as you hold the gangly boy in your arms.

Someone was calling her name, a hand on her shoulder as she jerked away from it with a gasp. Sitting up and trying to get her bearings, Jess' heart thundered in her chest as she realized she had her first nightmare... the others had been memories. This was a straight up nightmare, she had killed the only person she cared about.

Well... the only one she remembered caring about.

Her eyes finally focused on the man who was standing beside her, a hand back on her shoulder as she eyed the Captain in front of her. "Are you okay, Jess?"

Jess nodded hesitantly, clearing her throat and looking away from his gorgeous eyes. "I'm okay..." There was something about admitting she had a nightmare that made her feel weak, something she refused to do. Not after she had felt so helpless while unconscious.

Steve seemed relieved when she spoke. She understood why, she hadn't really been talking to anyone except for Thor occasionally and Peter of course. Silence; it was a hard habit to break. When she was Arachne, or rather when she thought she was Arachne, she barely spoke for days at a time on occasion. Days without speaking, and then when she did, it was all work. Except with Jared. They talked about other stuff, though it still wasn't as in depth as most would think for "lovers".

But this time after being taken, there had been no conversations. It was silence or screams.

"Do you need anything?"

Jess started to shake her head before realizing she was sort of thirsty. "Can I trouble you for some water?"

Steve smiled softly and nodded, standing up and leaving the circular room. Multiple times she wondered why it was circular like a jelly fish tank. Maybe so it felt more spacious...? It didn't work. It made her feel like an animal sometimes, though in ways she sort of had been acting like one. There was nothing to explain, mostly because Jess had no way to explain it. She would be fine, though Tony's name would make her tense up still, she could at least function. But she saw him, and it was over. Her mind seemed to hone in on him and suddenly, all she could remember was the order.

When you see Tony Stark, you will try to kill him. Every time. Until you succeed.

Looking up as she realized Steve had said her name and was waiting for a response, Jess took the glass with a mumbled 'thank you' and guzzled down the water as she realized she was parched.

"I want to help you, Jess... I want you to get out of here. Want you to be around the family again, not secluded here." Steve told her honestly, using the world family so easily, sighing and running a hand through his luscious locks. "But I can't until we can find a way to undo it."

Jess chuckled and shook her head, holding the glass tightly in her hand but trying to remain calm. "You can't fix me, Captain... I'm damaged. I've done too much to deserve what you're proposing."

"Jess, that's not true. Before, things were gr-"

"This is now, Steve! This isn't before. I'm a monster, and I'm dangerous! I'm not a garden spider, I am toxic." Jess snapped, not even flinching as she squeezed the glass so hard and it broke, pieces of it piercing her skin. The blood had already started dripping down her fist and was landing on the ground. "You can't fix me... I'm a weapon now."

Steve had jumped up, looking around before remembering the AI system. "FRIDAY, will you ask Bruce to bring a first aid kit to help Jess, tell him she accidentally broke a glass. And to bring a broom. Also, please tell... your boss... that he's not needed and to stand down." Steve knew Tony would be watching or at the very least listening to the monitor. Seeing her bleed would be hard for him to see and not try to help.

Jess was staring at the floor, not responding to Steve's gentle words or him trying to pick the bigger pieces of glass from her hand so he could apply some pressure. "I... I didn't mean to..." Jess whispered, surprising Steve who thought he had lost her for the moment.

"I know, it's okay. You didn't mean to, this isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

All of this was her fault. "I don't deserve your kindness." she said firmly, pulling her hand away from him gently and letting it hang by her side.

Steve knelt on the ground next to the bed she was still sitting on, not sure what to say for a moment. "There are times where we all think that... I understand why this is your time. However, you aren't the only assassin with a past on this team, you probably won't be the last. We have all made mistakes, some of us made them willingly... some of you were forced. Jess, please, let me take care of you. You're not alone anymore."

Tony had forgotten to breathe as he listened to Steve, feeling helpless as Jess sat bleeding and thinking she deserved it. The other man's words made him chuckle a bit; Steve always knew what to say. That theory was proven as Jess waited a minute or so before she let Steve grab her hand again. He tried to see how much glass was in it but it was hard, he had big hands. Instead, he focused on the woman in front of him, trying to find their Jess through the mess HYDRA had made. It had taken a long time for her to feel comfortable, for her to talk about how she felt... but she never gave up. The Jess in front of him looked lost, to put it simply.

"Is he going to be mad about the glass...?"

Steve ran a thumb over the back of her hand, almost asking who she was speaking of but realizing she meant Tony. She never used his name, even someone else saying it would make her tense up. "Nobody is mad, he's definitely not going to care about a glass. He will probably care about you."

She made a sound of disbelief, shaking her head. "Why would he care about me? I tried to kill him."

"Listen, if he stopped caring about people that had tried to kill him, he wouldn't have any friends or people to care about. I think he makes trying to kill him a requirement to be in his life."

That made Jess smirk a little, not used to the man being anything but serious. They both looked up as Dr. Banner entered with a bag and a broom, a frown on his face. "Is everything okay?"

Steve noticed the smile evaporating off her face as the other guy came into the tank, able to visibly see the difference in her comfort level. "Yeah, she'll be okay. Forgot her own strength and broke a glass is all."

As Steve and Dr. Banner started talking, the latter moving closer and speaking to her (though she didn't hear his questions), Jess blinked and chased through her memory bank as she realized something. "You're one of his best friends." It was a statement, not a question.

"What?" Bruce looked to Steve, as if he could decipher the random sentence.

"You're one of his best friends. A genius, that's why you get along. He said once that the only person he'd trust to heal me besides Dr. Cho is you." The words came tumbling out before she could filter them and try to understand them herself. It had obviously clicked for the dark haired man because he looked stunned that she had spoken to him finally. They all seemed to be surprised when she spoke, like she had been mute before. It was weird for her.

"... Yes. I suppose I am. Tony said that?" He seemed flattered, blushing a little and taking a moment to realize Steve was putting a hand on Jess' elbow as she hissed at the name and closed her eyes. Bruce glanced up at the camera that was hidden. "Sorry, I didn't mean... okay, let's get you healed." Bruce walked forward to sit in the chair in front of her and patted his knee, proud of the progress as Jess slowly let her hand rest in front of her on his knee.

Steve clapped the man on the back before exiting, promising he'd be close if he was needed. Jess didn't know if he was offering to her or to him.

At first, Bruce worked quietly. Taking pieces of glass out and talking to her softly. He explained that they were working on different medicines for her and Peter, antibiotics (though he was certain they could fight off most infections) and pain medicines, along with some others just in case. Every once in a while he would wipe a cut with some alcohol wipes that stung. "Since we're swapping memories... he once said to me that he had never felt the way he feels about you towards anyone else."

Jess looked away, sighing. "I feel the same way." The man looked up with wide eyes. "I've never wanted to kill someone like I want to kill him." His face fell as he cleared his throat and tried to fix his expression, realizing Jess had picked up on it and was looking away ashamed. "I... I didn't mean that like it came out. I wasn't trying to be a bitch. I just... I haven't felt this before. It's a raw, burning passion to act."

"I think they call that love, cupcake." Jess jerked away at the sudden voice, looking around and not seeing him but feeling disorientated as she moved away from Bruce. She was kissing Tony, he was covered in blood and she told him she loved him. They were ice skating, he caught her before she fell. Every image that came to mind, he wasn't hurting her. She was laughing in some of them, kissing in others... were these memories coming back to her...? She yanked herself from them, watching as Bruce looked towards the ceiling, talking sternly back to the man who could be heard but not seen.

"Tony...?" she whined, the word both soothing her yet burning her as she winced and looked around. As if he would appear next to her. There was a small part that wanted him to so she could hug him... but the bigger part still wanted him to so she could kill him.

"Jess... please... let me come see you. It's killing me not being there for you. It'll be okay, we can take it slow. Just... please." He was desperate to hold her.

She shook her head, fear creeping back in. "I won't let myself kill anyone else. Even you." Jess gasped as she closed her eyes tightly and worked through all the things going on in her head. Bruce coaxed her back over to the bed once the ceiling went silent at her last words, letting him continue fixing her hand.

"I think some of these could do with some stitches..."

"But they'll be healed by tomorrow." Jess finished his thought as he nodded.

"I am going to wrap your hand, though." Bruce made sure all the glass was gone before disinfecting the wound and wrapping it in gauze. Taking out an ACE wrap, he wound the tan bandage around her hand so it was snug but not tight. "We'll check on it again tomorrow."

"... Dr. B- Bruce... thank you. I really am sorry."

Smiling and nodding at her, Bruce grabbed the broom and started sweeping up, "You don't have to apologize to me about breaking anything, Jess. Any of the others will tell you as they laugh how much damage the other guy has caused."

And somehow... she knew who he was talking about when he said the other guy. "I think... I think I'm remembering some things. I don't know if they're memories though. It's like everything I need is a few feet in front of me, I can reach it but when I try to grab it it's behind a locked door." Jess growled, frustrated as she sighed and sat on the bed.

Bruce nodded, looking like he was thinking of what to say before shrugging at her with a small smile. "One day at a time. I think we both know the only person who can help you with knowing if those are memories, is him." He nodded to her before grabbing the broom and dust pan, medical bag on his shoulder.

He was right... she knew he was right. She looked up at the ceiling, battling her inner thoughts as both sides of her wanted him to come down for completely opposite reasons. No... it would have to be when she was more in control.

Steve and Tony stood in the lab, watching the conflict on Jess' face as she paced the room, shaking her head and wringing her hands. "I need to get inside, Captain. I need to be face to face with her. It'll help... maybe not right away, but it'll help."

"Tony..."

"Just hear me out; if she'll consent to it, we can have you and Thor and even the kid there to keep her calm and hold her. Just let me talk to her, see if I can say anything that will jar her memory. If not, we'll stop and wait to give it another try. Sitting here waiting for her to have an epiphany isn't working. What do we have to lose?"

Steve stood with his hands on his hips, frowning as the man said it all so casually. "Everything, Stark. We have everything to lose."