Jack watched his partner a long minute. He sighed and put away the supplies he'd bought. Mac had been in medical all of two-days. Jack had no idea how he'd blackmailed Doc Carl and Sally into letting him go; they had originally demanded he stay for a week. He'd had surgery to debride his gunshot wound and have his collarbone reset. He wore a complicated splint with all kinds of belts and straps over his shoulder and chest. Matty had originally backed medical, but changed her mind after a pow wow with Mac. Jack thought guilt motivated her more than any worry about Mac's health.

Jack scowled. Mac was still sweaty and flushed from the fever he'd been rocking, and he was quiet. Not just I-feel-like-shit-quiet, but I'm-drowning-in-my-head quiet. Jack was very worried. Jack pulled down a sports bottle with an inbuilt straw, what he teased Mac as being an adult sippy cup, and filled it with OJ. He pulled down bread and quickly made toast. He smiled pulling out his treat for Mac. Pecan butter. The kids loved it, but rarely "wasted" money getting it. For all the money he got paid, Mac rarely spent it on extras for himself. Probably considered his own comfort a luxury item. If he couldn't DIY it he didn't see the point of it. It made Jack sad. He slathered the toast with thick layers smiling. If Mac won't spoil himself, it was the duty of those around him to do it for him.

Jack cleaned the kitchen and headed toward the deck. He was stopped by his phone. He growled. Matty.

"Matty, what the hell-" He started. He'd demanded time off to care for his partner and Matty had argued. She wanted him on a mission with Desi.

"Stand down, Dalton! I'm not calling to bring you in." Jack took a deep breath, but the anger still burned close to the surface.

"And?" He could hear Matty take a deep breath.

"Look, Jack. I'm sorry." Jack's breath froze, but nothing followed.

"And?" Matty let out a long sigh.

"Jack, I'm worried about him too. I just wanted to call to update you...and Mac." Jack raised his eyebrows. Since when does Matty update them?

"I have met with the directors of the five I's. The Red House system is being re-evaluated. The so-called therapy Mac endured-"

"Twice." Jack growled. Matty's voice cracked.

"It's gone, Jack. All the Red Houses currently in use are being dismantled. They're looking into options of treating patients at home with traditional therapies or having private offices-" Jack snorted.

"You really don't see the irony, do you?" There was a long silence on the line.

"Jack...I am really sorry. Ever since James died, it's been a mess here…" Jack didn't speak. He didn't want to let her off the hook-well ever.

"How is he?" Matty's voice changed to a sorrowful concern. Jack knew she felt a heavy load of guilt. Jack sighed. He relented-a little.

"As well as can be expected."

"You know-"

"Yes, I do."

"I know you do. Jack-"

"I know, Matty, I'm a little sorry too." Matty chuckled.

"Dalton, sometimes you are so…" Jack laughed feeling a bit of the load lifted.

"What about that Xander dude? He had to be the one behind the whole thing."

"I think so too. We found out more about him, he has more PhDs than anyone I ever heard of. He was on the cutting edge of neurology, biochemistry-"

"And he was a bad guy, Matty." Jack rumbled, not liking the admiration in Matty's voice.

"I know that, Jack. Everything in the Red House was destroyed. But there were no bodies left. The fire might have been hot enough to burn the bodies completely or-"

"Or the bastard got away."

"Yeah. If he turns up, he will pay. Trust me on that, Jack." Her tone was savage and angry. Jack felt his anger melt away.

"I plan on that, Matty." His tone was just as cold and dangerous as hers. They were silent for a minute. Jack didn't know about Matty, but he was thinking of many ways of killing Xander painfully and very slowly.

"Bozer and Riley have been going through the data in the cube you brought back. If you hadn't stopped this from getting out our entire defense and civil grid would have been up for the highest bidder. When Mac is up to it, I want him to reverse engineer the cube. The amount of data it holds is unbelievable." Jack glanced at Mac and smiled.

"I think he'll appreciate that. But he won't be in for a long time." Jack's voice brooked no argument. Matty laughed.

"Yes, Jack. I understand. And I really am sorry." Before Jack could accept her apology, she was off the line. Jack left his phone on the table. Maybe Matty realized it wasn't Jack she owed the real apology to, and only Mac was the one who could accept it. Jack closed his eyes and let out a deep breath preparing himself to dig into Mac's mental-swamp and pull his boy out.

Mac stared up into the sky. The bright LA son calmed the chill he couldn't shake. Not for the first time he wished he had the ability to keep his eyes open for days. Every time he closed his eyes, he was in darkness on a roof...or in the middle of a burning village...Mac shuddered and ran his hand along his scalp. He winced at the greasy layer wet with sweat. He'd had to put antibiotic cream on his scalp. It burned and he felt like he hadn't taken a shower in a century. He wiggled trying to ease some of the pain in his shoulder. Mac grimaced reaching for his shoulder with his other hand. Of course movement caused more pain. Of course he knew it would, but he still moved. The weird quirks of biology.

"Hey, kid." Mac smiled as Jack walked around to face him.

"Who was that on the phone?" Jack huffed. Mac's smile grew. Did the older man still think Mac couldn't tell he was close?

"Matty." Mac's smile vanished.

"You aren't-" Jack handed Mac the OJ. He was a little surprised Mac took it without complaint. Mac set it beside him then took the toast. His face was less than happy about the food.

"No, you are stuck with me until that is healed." He waved a hand at Mac's shoulder. Mac slumped back, releasing a tension he didn't realize he'd been carrying. Jack frowned and sat down. Before he could open his mouth, Mac raised the toast and grinned.

"Pecan butter?" Jack rolled his eyes. Classic deflection, but not one he really hated.

"Of course. You need the calories." Mac's face sunk and he turned away. He sipped the orange juice. Jack could feel the wall going up. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"You haven't been sleeping." Mac's eyes darted to Jack then away. It was all the acknowledgement Jack needed. Jack nodded and laid back in the deck chair beside the blonde. He closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. The normal stink of the nearby city was oddly reassuring. If he didn't see the woods for another year, he'd be happy. He laid his head back. He could feel Mac's eyes on him, worried and wary. Jack sighed.

"Matty says the Red Houses are gone." He didn't have to turn to know Mac stiffened. Jack didn't know if it was a surprise or something else. He turned to face Mac. Mac turned away before Jack could figure out what was going on inside Mac.

"She said that if we hadn't broken the ring all of our security grid for the nation and around the world." Mac nodded, but didn't speak. Jack frowned. The kid's face was unreadable-too many emotions at once.

"She wants you to re-engineer the data cube we took."

"Reverse engineer." Jack hid his small smile. Mac shot a glare at Jack.

"What's that?" Jack frowned as if he didn't know. Mac raised an eyebrow and studied him for a long minute. He shook his head and leaned back pushing the toast away. He'd eaten half. Jack was disappointed, but it was better than he expected.

"Not hungry." Mac said wincing as he moved. He put a hand over his sore shoulder. Jack forced himself to stay sitting. He knew Mac hadn't taken any pain meds and had to be hurting. Jack also knew there were other hurts he had to take care of first. Mac glanced at him surprised then smiled and leaned back, relaxing more. Jack closed his eyes bathing in the sun. It was cooler than normal, in the high 70s, but Mac shook as if he were in a refrigerator. Jack could see drips of sweat beaded on his lip and run down the side of his face. Fever. Jack winced the memory of Mac sick from the bullet in his side brushing through his brain.

"Jack, are you ok?" Mac's voice was quiet, tentative, as if he knew he was opening a door he really didn't want to.

"Just memories, kiddo." Mac sighed and stared at the clear sky.

"I know what you mean. Mine keep playing over and over." Mac sniffed. Jack could feel the giant ball of emotions Mac was swallowing. His partner was going to burst. Jack let out a deep breath and slowly rolled to sitting. He studied Mac and remained quiet, trying not to spook the kid. Mac turned away. His lip trembled a little. Jack let the silence stretch. He knew he could outlast Mac every time. Finally Mac looked over at Jack. The sky seemed to move in the kid's deep eyes, distant and mercurial.

"It wasn't like dreaming." Mac said softly. He sat up, groaning and holding his shoulder. Jack twitched, but managed to stay in his spot. Mac turned and faced his partner. He avoided eye contact focusing instead on his bare feet. Jack winced at the healing cuts and bruises that peeped out from the dressings on both feet. It was time to change them, if the yellowed bloody crust was any sign. Jack shook his head. Was he really surprised Mac didn't stay off his feet while they healed? No. No, he was not. He looked up and caught Mac's eyes as they studied him.

"What were they like?" Jack asked. His voice softened until it was quiet and still as Mac's. Mac's jaw clenched.

"They were like I was there living it again and again."

"Like a flashback?" Mac closed his eyes and winced as he shook his head. His hand moved to his collarbone.

"No, worse. A flashback...after you know it was a memory, that it had ended-however badly. This...this was worse. It was real, but you weren't in charge. You're brain wanted to tell you it wasn't happening, that it was a memory...but something else controlled it. Your entire reality was in someone else's hands then…" Mac closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

"It...It really sucked."

"I bet. How's your head?" Mac looked puzzled. Jack smiled. He'd left it deliberately vague.

"Physically, I have a headache and my scalp feels like someone pulled it off and put it back on wrong. Mentally?" Mac sighed and offered a half smile, "I have no idea. Everything feels...off." It was Jack's turn to be puzzled.

"Off? How?"

"I don't know. Nothing feels as real as it did before...this."

"Like you're still back in the tank hooked up to that mess?" Mac closed his eyes and bit his lip. He nodded. Jack stood and moved over to Mac's side. He gently put a hand on the back of Mac's neck. Jack winced at the heat burning from his friend.

"You're here, this is real, kiddo." Mac snorted, a bitter humorless attempt at laughing.

"That's what you would say in the tank too." Mac's voice trailed off. He shook his head and smiled at Jack.

"Doc Carl said that derealization would last a while." Jack nodded remaining silent. Mac wiped away the tears that weren't there.

"I'm tired, Jack." Mac's shoulders drooped. Jack knew he was talking about more than physically.

"I know, kiddo. That's why I told Matty we won't be coming back until everything in that noodle of yours is back to normal. At least as normal as you ever get." Mac laughed. It was the first genuine laugh Jack had heard since they'd been home.

"I might resemble that remark." Mac said shooting Jack a quirked smile. Jack gently mussed his hair, "Jack! Quit it!" Jack laughed. Mac sounded like a frustrated ten-years old. Jack refrained from doing it again. At least until Mac had both wings flapping. Mac hissed and sank back holding his shoulder.

"Allright, bud, time for meds then bed." Mac kept his eyes closed. His face was pale and flushed at the same time. He held up his good hand. Jack bent and gently braced Mac as he pulled him to his feet. Mac huffed a minute getting his bearings. Jack steadied him.

"World spinning?" Mac opened one eye, glanced at Jack then closed it again.

"More like swimming in fifteen pools at the same time in different directions."

"Dude, that sucks." I think Jack silently added not exactly sure what Mac was talking about. Mac nodded and leaned on Jack more. Jack half carried, half walked, Mac inside. Mac headed for the couch. Jack shifted their direction to the kid's bedroom. Mac didn't argue. Mac plopped on the bed on top of the covers and stretched out. Jack stood looking down at him frowning.

"What?" Mac asked.

"I think I should check your temperature or get you an ice pack or-"

"Tuck me in with my teddy and binky?" Mac joked, but there was definitely more than a little irritation in his voice. Jack nodded.

"Aright, I can take a hint. I'll leave you-"

"NO-I mean, no you don't have to go. You can...you know hang out if you want to." Mac cleared his throat. Jack smiled and pulled over Mac's desk chair. He snagged the remote, kicked off his boots and rested them on the corner of Mac's bed. Mac kept looking straight ahead at the TV as if a knife commercial held all of his attention. Jack could still read the relief in his face. Jack nodded and leaned back.

"Sharknado 2?" Mac looked over at Jack as if to see if he was kidding, "Ok, that's a no...doomsday preppers?" Mac sighed. His eyes hung half mast. He waved a hand as they sunk closed.

"Great, I love this show…" glancing over Jack realized Mac was out. He smiled and turned the volume low. He settled in, one eye staying on his partner, as always.