I do not own The Outsiders. All characters used from the book are borrowed with much respect to S.E. Hinton.

The first thing that seemed to hit me amidst the fog in my head, was the almost irritating silence that surrounded me. Nothing could prepare me for the utter lack of noise; it'd always been a constant in my life. A house full of teenaged boys arguing, laughing, wrestling and turning furniture over was a daily occurrence as was me always hollering after them to keep it down.

I could sense the brightness before I tested it out for myself; squinting my eyes before allowing my eyelids to open a sliver. The sun shone brightly through an unfamiliar window as I let my eyes adjust to the light of it. The warmth was welcome against my face until I felt the tickle caress the bridge of my nose and was unable to move either of my arms to scratch it.

"Ungh…"

My mouth was dry; my throat worn and raw as I tried to call one of the boys. It was clear to me that I wasn't at home in bed, or in Beth's bed for that matter, and I racked my brain trying to come up with an answer.

The ache started as I tried in vain to move again, and I heard myself groan as my head fell listlessly to the side; the sun becoming trying while I searched my mind for some sort of clue as to what had happened, and came up empty handed.

"Uhhahh…" I tried to call out again.

"Shhhh…"

I felt her hand as it gently stroked my face before helping move my head to face the other direction. I'd only seen Beth look that way once before; when I'd lost my temper and yelled at her to get out of my house. She looked white as a ghost with dark bruising under her eyes that came from no sleep. I looked at her worriedly, wanting to know what happened and if she was alright. Her eyes started filling, and I tried to bring my hand up to touch her face, but couldn't.

"Uhhhh…" I tried again to speak, but couldn't for the dryness.

Beth seemed to read my mind as she reached over with a cup and straw, placing it gently between my lips which started sticking to the plastic.

"Drink slow, baby. Don't drink it all." She whispered while looking at me with absolute fatigue.

I wondered why I barely had enough energy to take the few swallows I did, but then lost that train of thought when I felt my bottom lip split open while Beth had pulled the straw out from my mouth. I winced at the sting and quickly let my tongue roam over; tasting blood. I tried one more time; unsuccessful to lift my arm and looked back at Beth, still not knowing what was going on.

"Your arms are broken, sweetie. You can't move them, okay?"

"Why?" I tried to ask, and it only sounded like mumbled nonsense to me, but Beth seemed to understand.

"You were in an accident, baby. Don't you remember?"

Her hand was soft as it ruffled through my hair, and I tried searching back in my memory for some clue as to what happened to me, but I couldn't for the life of me come up with anything.

"Beth," I managed to garble out, and her face lit up like I'd just asked her to marry me.

"Yeah, baby. It's me. I ain't leaving; I'm right here."

I felt a sudden wave of heat rush at me as the world developed a misty halo in my vision, and a thought gnawed at my chest making it feel heavy.

"I was drunk?" My throat seized up as I broke out into tears with the thought that I'd been so selfish and irresponsible to put myself and my family at risk with such a stupid action.

"No, no, no! Honey, you weren't drunk. You didn't have anything to drink, sweetie. It's okay." Beth's voice was soft and her touch was reassuring.

"Really? 'Cause I feel drunk, are you sure? My nose is itchy." I was blubberin' gibberish and couldn't stop myself.

"Darry," Beth smiled while gently scratching my nose for me. "It's the morphine. I promise you, you didn't drink. I promise."

"I love you."

It was Beth's turn to burst into tears; burying her face into the side of mine while both of her hands cradled my head. I could feel the warm tickle of tears as they rolled from her cheek onto mine, and I turned my face into hers more firmly; the only physical comfort I was able to give her.

"I love you so much!" She weeped and I tried so hard to remember what happened, but just couldn't.

"The boys weren't with me, were they?" I mumbled at the thought that I could remember hearing my brothers talking to me.

Beth pulled back and stared at me with an uncomfortable expression before slowly shaking her head.

"They okay? They know I'm here, right? I don't want 'em worryin' about me. Tell Soda he's got the fort while I heal up, 'kay? Tell him no parties." I huffed a laugh imagining the way Sodapop would roll his eyes and probably stick his tongue out at me for that comment.

Beth pressed her face up against mine again, not answering me with words but with soft kisses to my face.

"Rest, Darry. Just get some rest, okay? That's all you need to do right now." She sniffed.

I nodded slowly as I closed my eyes and let the sunshine through the window take me.

I had no concept of how much time had passed when my eyes managed to pry themselves open again. In fact nothing was really registering except the fact that my entire body was consumed in deep, aching pain. My eyes clenched shut as I let out a groan; the ache growing every time I tried to move.

"Easy,"

I felt the hand rest on my forehead as the calm voice spoke; familiar and yet I couldn't come up with a name. I struggled again to move, and again was thwarted into that throbbing abyss of hurt that sparked my eyes to water, and a guttural cry from my throat.

"Diganeli, you need to take it easy. Don't make it hurt more."

"Greg?" I groaned in confusion. The name eluded me.

"Easy, Darry. You're safe. You're in good hands, it's okay."

His hand was warm and soothing as it gently rubbed the top of my head. I tried to concentrate on the tone of his voice and his words, but my body felt like it was screaming at me. I tried to open my eyes, but they were wet and dripping, and I felt an irrational embarrassment for them, so I just squeezed them tighter while I clenched my jaw; holding my breath while waiting for the pain to pass.

"No brother. Diganeli don't tense up, it just makes it worse."

"Hurts," I managed to grunt, and I felt exposed.

"I know, brother but you need to stay lax. Don't tense up, brother. Think of jello."

"You said don't move."

"That's right, Darry."

I managed to crack an eye open; its eyebrow pulling up along with it as I inspected the owner of that voice. I would've smiled at my copper skinned friend if I hadn't have felt so lousy.

"Jello jiggles. You said don't move."

His laugh was soft, and I felt my mouth curl up despite the way my body screamed at me. It'd been forever since I'd seen Eric. I hadn't seen him since the night he'd handed me the weapon that ended Martin Campbell's life.

"How do you feel, Darry?"

"Hurts. Cold."

"You're cold?" Eric looked at me confused.

"Yeah." I opted to answer instead of nodding, in an attempt not to cause more throbbing.

"Hold on, diganeli."

I watched on curiously as Eric left the side of my bed and made his way out of the room. I closed my eyes wanting to drift back into nothingness, but the ache was stubborn as well as the chill that seemed to settle into me.

As much as I didn't want to bother or worry my brothers, I wished desperately for them, and thought it was odd that they hadn't been around. I would've killed to have Soda there, knowing damned well those hands of his could've relaxed me into a coma. Where were they? I could feel that something was wrong, but thoughts were muddled in my head and I couldn't seem to piece things together.

My eyes snapped open when I felt heat envelope me, and I opened my eyes to find Eric covering me in a hot blanket. I immediately thought of my baby brother; Sodapop wrapping him in that flannel blanket and the way he snuggled right in like it cured every horrible thing he'd ever been through. It felt good.

"Thank you," it was more of a whisper as my voice seemed to crack.

"You're welcome. Just close your eyes, brother. Your Beth will be here soon."

"Where're my brothers? Haven't seen 'em."

Eric seemed to pale slightly as he looked on at me as though I'd grown a third eyeball right in front of him. That voice nagged at me again. Something was wrong. Why couldn't I think?

"Darry, what's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember the accident? Do you remember?"

"Accident?"

It was my turn to look at Eric like he was the one growing a third eye, but then the realization crossed my mind along with the thought that my brothers hadn't been around. My blood felt ice cold. I could barely catch my breath as I looked desperately over to my friend.

"Oh God! Were they with me? Eric! Where are my brothers? Are they okay? Were they with me? Oh God! Were they hurt? Please…Eric, where are they? Eric…"

"Darry, easy." Eric placed a hand on my shoulder in an effort to calm me, but all it did was terrify me more.

"Darry, your brothers weren't with you. Don't you remember?" Eric looked concerned.

I closed my eyes and tried to think back. I could remember faces and voices but I couldn't seem to place them in time. I had no idea how long I'd been laying there. I shook my head.

"It was a train diganeli. You got tangled up on the tracks. Cops said the road conditions were treacherous and you got stuck."

The sound of a train entered my mind as well as my father's voice.

"Whatever happens, you're going to be okay, son."

As I laid there with my eyes clenched shut, I could feel the back end of the truck crumble as it was torn off the road; flipping itself and me until I was no longer conscious. Lights and sirens were blaring like the forlorn sound of the train's horn. Blood—wet, cold, and aching consumed me as voices yelled at me.

"Hold on! Hang in there!"

Until there were more lights; bright and blinding as cold hands jostled their way around. Excruciating pain consumed me. I could hear the screaming—never ending. The physical agony only touching the surface, but deeper down…

"Us three against the world!"

"Pepsi…"

I choked on the name as I stumbled upon the realization. Soda was gone. He didn't make it out of Vietnam. Pony couldn't take it; shutting down, not able to accept the fact that his favourite person on earth would not be coming home again.

"Darry. I'm so sorry, brother. I'm so sorry about Oonahgwaya. I loved him, brother. We all loved him."

I couldn't speak. My chest felt like it laid open; empty and waiting for a mercy that would never come. Eric was quiet with me; allowing me my silent mourning over Sodapop.

Soda.

How the fuck were we going to move on without him? I couldn't fathom what life would look like with him gone.

The steady stream flowed over my temples, wetting my hair and the pillow beneath my head. Then a deep fear gripped me.

"Pony!"

"Shhhh…he's okay. You don't have to worry, Darry."

"No, he wasn't breathing, Eric. You don't understand! You gotta get me outta here! I gotta take care of him! I'm all he's got now!"

"He's breathing, diganeli. He's okay. He's looked after, we're seeing to it." Eric's confident voice was like a salve that was soothing my wounds.

"Who?"

"Don't worry, Darry. Greg would never let anything bad happen to your brother."

"Greg…"

I cried again, thinking about how different things would've been had it not been for Greg. Time and again, he'd gone above and beyond for me and both of my brothers, and even though Soda was gone I couldn't help but feel fortunate that I still had Ponyboy. It was all because of Greg Allain. There would be time to mourn losses, but thanks to him, I still had one brother by my side, and we could help each other through; it would be the two of us mourning together.

"What's going on? Did he wake up?" I could hear Beth coming closer but I wasn't quite yet ready to open my eyes.

"Just a minute ago." Eric lied as I felt him squeeze my hand before standing.

"Oh my God! Haven't they come to give him anything yet? God damn them!" Beth noticed the state I was in and immediately was on guard; ready to take care of me.

It was a strange feeling to be on the receiving end of that sort of care from someone other than Soda.

Sodapop.

"Easy, Beth. He's okay. You stay with him, and I'll go find his nurse. I'll get him another warm blanket."

"Eric…thank you so much."

Her voice broke and I could hear as Beth broke down into tears. I wanted so bad to sit up; reach for her and bring her into my arms where I could hold her, but all I could manage was to open my eyes to watch as Eric was there giving her the hug that I couldn't.

"He's okay, Beth. He's got a long road ahead of him, but he'll be okay. He's strong like his brother…his brothers."

"I know, I just…it's so much. I just…it isn't fair!"

Beth sobbed and I felt horrible. My life was one disaster and disappointment after another that I didn't mean to drag her into. She deserved so much better—her own life had its own pain and loss and I just wanted to be able to give her something more.

"Hey," my voice sounded froggy and I wished like mad that I could hold my hand out to her.

Beth jolted away from Eric and hurried into the seat he'd been occupying only seconds before. I wanted so bad to touch her. I could tell from experience, the look of stress and worry like a mask on her beautiful face. The ring I'd put on her finger sparkled as the light hit it and she wiped impatiently at her eyes before looking at me with a pained smile.

"It's okay. We're gonna be okay, doll." I winked at her and she let out a laugh before leaning in close to kiss me.

"I love you," she whispered as she pressed the side of her face against mine.

I nodded slightly as Eric swung into my field of view along with a nurse. He grinned as Beth sat up straight and held her hands out for the folded blanket that he was clutching, but helped her when she moved to cover me with it.

"Mmmm…you have to marry me for sure now." I moaned as the warmth seeped in deep, and even though the physical and emotional aches were still all-encompassing, I knew it was going to end soon, and I'd soon be oblivious to them again.

The nurse looked over at Beth before it seemed like she disappeared behind my left. I looked at Beth as I felt the fog settle in my brain, and as I'd predicted I fell asleep.