*bursts through the door panting and sweating, looking like death warmed over* WHAT YEAR IS IT!?

*keels over dead clutching this chapter*

fair warning, i barely proof read this bc i have a headache and i have a schedule to keep

"For shame Izuku! You already have Shouto, and now you want little old me as well? What would your mother say?"

I can feel my face flush with blood as mortification sets in. My eyes widen at Shi- Hitoshi, who's playing bashful as he covers his cheeks like a blushing maiden, and I squeal out my indignity.

"I- I didn't mean it like that!"

Shouto grunts behind me as I squirm and bury my face in my hands. He wraps his arms tighter around me, and makes confused sounds.

"Izuku? What wrong? What happened?"

"Oh dear god! Nothing! Ignore that I asked that!"

I spin my face back around after miming the word for nothing at Shouto, and flail my limbs some more as Hitoshi fully bursts into laughter. Needless to say, this doesn't reassure Shouto in the slightest, but he's not getting aggressive again, so that's a positive.

"Oh Lord. Please, I swear, I didn't mean anything by it! Its just, I'm sorry!"

I whine and hide my burning face in my hands again, while Shouto awkwardly attempts to soothe me, and Hitoshi continues to laugh. It's only when Shouto starts gently rocking me back and forth, that Hitoshi starts calming down. When I hear him starting to catch his breath, I peek out between my fingers- above the webbing- at him.

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean to say that, and I really didn't mean it in a dirty way!"

Hitoshi lets out a few more snickers and props his chin on his hand, giving me a sly look.

"Oh? How did you mean it then?"

I drop my hands down into my lap and glance down at the end of my twitching tail, trying to gather my thoughts. My fingers twist together, and I start picking at one of my long nails.

"I- I was just..."

I let out a long sigh, and decide to just get it out. I can't exactly make this situation worse, right? I look up at Hitoshi, and he quirks a brow up in a 'go on' fashion.

"I was curious because I have two sets of genitalia. Both male and female. From what I've seen of Shouto's, he only has male parts, and it looks a lot different than mine. I was just wondering if there was more to the differences between us than just size and fins. Or attitude, now that I think about it. That maybe it's an indicator of different genders, and not as arbitrary as it first seems."

"How scientific of you."

I pout up at him, and he chuckles and waves his hand at me.

"Relax, I believe you."

I huff at him, and he just smirks at me as he leans back on his hands. This gives me a good view of his toned chest and abs, as he looks up at the rippling surface in thought. Ugh, why can't I build muscle like him or Shouto?

"That would take a lot more exercise than you're currently getting."

My face starts to flush again. Stupid mouth, why can't I just keep my thoughts in my head? I think Shouto not fully understanding me has worsened my verbal diarrhea. Before I can lose myself in my embarrassment again, Hitoshi continues on.

"To answer your previous question though, you're probably onto something."

He shifts back upright, and looks at me seriously.

"In all seriousness, I don't think we can test it out though. Not properly anyway. I don't really feel like whipping it out for you to see, and I'm pretty sure that would get my throat torn out by your lover over there. I also don't want to see yours or his, in any context, nor anyone else's for that matter. So the theory is, for lack of a better term, already dead in the water."

I sigh and look down at the sand dejectedly.

"I guess you're right. Oh- wait!"

I look back up at him, excitement bubbling through my veins again. Hitoshi raises his brows curiously.

"I mean, you don't have to answer. It's still a rather personal question, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I- I mean- can I-"

"Jeez, just ask the fucking question already!"

He blurts, finally looking exasperated with me.

"I- right. Just, how long is it? Oh, and does it have barbs at the base of it when you, ah, release? Sorry, if it's a really weird question."

"If I didn't know you, I would think that you were coming on to me or something. That also gives me visuals that I'd rather not have right now. Or ever."

I look away and mumble out some more apologies.

"Relax, I'm ok with it. Just like teasing you. Uh, I guess its about average? I mean, the length hasn't changed much from when I was human, though the shape has. And barbs? Um no? Maybe? Look, I haven't been very amorous towards myself since the change. I mostly just looked at it to see that it was still there and haven't really gotten over the differences yet. You get me?"

"I- yeah, yeah I do. Sorry, I kind of forgot about it since it's been a while for me. I won't ask those questions again."

He waves his hand at me again.

"No worries, I said I was ok with the question. It's not like I'm upset about the transformation per se, at least not anymore, it just wasn't something I did with a whole lot of regularity to begin with. Doing something like that with something that doesn't even look like it belongs to you is just a bit daunting is all."

I nod in understanding, and then glance up at the surface. Oh it looks like it's getting a bit late. Oh no! I haven't caught food for us yet! I pull Shouto's arms from around me, which makes him pout and grumble. I shush him and start signing and speaking.

"I've got to get food. Go back home, you shouldn't even be swimming around right now!"

This makes Shouto bristle, and he glances over at Hitoshi. He glowers back at me and puffs out his chest, making an impressive effort not to wince from the movement.

"No. I hunt. You rest."

I scowl at him and open my mouth again.

"Not to interrupt your lovers spat or anything, but how about I hunt instead?"

We both look over at Hitoshi, and I frown over at him instead.

"I. I can't ask you to do that! you're a guest! And, and-"

Hitoshi holds up his hand, silencing me.

"I'm not just a guest if I'm planning on living here for the foreseeable future. Besides, let's be practical here. Both of you are injured and shouldn't really be moving around. Especially not when you've got an able bodied person right here to help you out."

I fidget nervously, still frowning a bit. He makes a good point, and it will be easier keeping Shouto from straining himself if I'm there with him.

"Are you sure? I can help you out if you want. I don't want to just take advantage."

He shakes his head and propels himself off of the rock.

"Nah, I'm good. Go rest and keep your man happy. This'll help me get familiar with your territory anyway, so it's a win win."

"O- ok..."

I watch Hitoshi swim off into the trees, and then turn towards Shouto, who's looking at me for clarification. I relay that Hitoshi will be hunting for us, and Shouto doesn't look too thrilled by that idea until I say that we can go back home and cuddle. He doesn't wait for anything else to be said after that, and insistently tugs us back in the direction of home, hand in hand.

Shouto settled down rather easily when we got back to the cave, and we both decided to just groom each other until I heard Hitoshi calling for me an hour or so later. We both kind of forgot to say/ ask where I live, so that was a good a time as any to show him the cave. Shouto didn't want Hitoshi inside, and I have to admit that I was uncomfortable with the idea too, but Hitoshi didn't seem to mind too much and left to find his own place soon after dropping off his haul.

We managed to eat three fish each, and I made a mental note to thank Hitoshi profusely later. Him popping back into my life was a real life saver. It at least makes things a lot easier now, I was worried we were going to be skeletons with how poorly I was hunting the past few days. We can at least sleep better now since we have full bellies. Him being here also means that we won't be as vulnerable to attacks, so I need to make sure we both get better as soon as possible, so we don't become a burden to him.

I tuck the last two fish away for later, and snuggle back into Shouto's arms. I take the time to check over his wounds again, and make sure his arm is healing properly. I think mers heal quicker than humans, because my bruises are already turning brown and Shouto's cuts are knitting together already. If it keeps going the way it is, Shouto may be all better in a couple weeks, tops. The thought makes me smile as I re-splint his arm, and we snuggle down to go to bed. Things are finally looking up again.

yeah, so, if you follow my tumblr at all you'll know i decided to take pity on you guys bc the random generator refused to choose this fic for my Totally Not Arbitrary update schedule. i'm taking to announcing on tumblr as well when an update is pending, like when i'm currently writing the chapter and when it's in the final stages kind of update.

related news, on that Not Arbitrary At All list is a new fic option at the end. this can either be the side story to this fic, or a completely new one. give me your opinions/ requests in the comments, and i'll decide what to do from there.