Hi guys thanks so much for your reviews and messages for this story, there just a couple more chapters to go in this story, I had initially planned to Chapter 20 but I guess these characters have a little more to say ;) Enjoy the update.

Chapter 19

'I did warn you that you're going to have to sex it up..'

'And I told you for the millionth time that sex is what caused all our problems in the first place.' Haley said into the phone as she came in dropping her satchel bag on the bed along with herself. 'I'm back working Brooke so that's got to count for something right…'

'Yea but I guess if its supply work you're doing its very easy to up and leave…'

'I'm not going to.' Haley said.

'I know that but Nathan doesn't you're really going to have sit his ass down Haley and tell him exactly how you feel, lay it out on the table…what's it been two weeks since you got back.'

'He's gone all the time Brooke…like purposefully gone I swear he trains harder now for basketball than he did in college and that's saying a lot.'

'So he's avoiding you, well he must have picked that up from his brother, Lucas does it all the time.'

Haley sneezed then as she sighed into the phone. 'Ugh I feel terrible.'

'You're stressing way too much over Nathan, your job…everything, how about you come over here we can binge watch some terrible reality tv and not talk about boys.'

'It sounds dreamy Brooke but I think I'm just going to have a nap..'

'Naked and over the covers.'

'Brooke…' Haley countered smiling despite herself.

'Just an idea. Ok chat later girlie I'll be here vegging out if you're still feeling bad' She offered.

'Thanks Brooke..' Haley said as she tossed her phone beside her feeling completely drained.

Nathan slipped into the apartment dropping his gear bag by the door noticing it was shrouded in darkness at near 9pm. He came into the kitchen then flicking on the light as he pulled open the fridge door and downed a bottle of Gatorade. He knew he was possibly pushing it too hard in the gym and at basketball training but it was the only thing that helped him right now; helped keep his mind off her and from missing her even though she was only a few feet away.

Haley had been back 2 weeks now and not much had changed; he'd actually being out of New York with work and was surprised when he came home to still find her here. Maybe she was actually staying but he felt like he was just stuck at a standstill with that one; reluctant to let her in and missing her all the same. He missed their banter, their Friday night movies, Saturday mornings in the farmers market, cooking together, playing silly card games while drinking themselves silly on a midweek night. It was a double whammy suffering the loss of their friendship as well as their intimacy.

And just like that she padded into the kitchen and he had to let it in, if only for a moment, he wanted to see her and though she'd never believe it with the way he was acting right now this was the perfect end to this extremely long day.

'Hey…' Nathan said quietly as he put the Gatorade back into the fridge turning away from her. God did he long to go back to a time where he didn't wish to kiss her every moment he saw her.

'Hi..' Haley said gently smiling a little. Well that's a first. Usually she had to initiate the conversation. It was something so small that instantly perked up her which her body needed. She'd woken up from her nap wondering had that been a mistake, her body was shivering yet her forehead was all sticky and she felt completely out of sorts.

'Are you ok?' Nathan said eying her as she swiped her hand across her forehead closing her eyes.

'Yea…' She tried miserably. 'Am I think I've picked up a bug off those kids..' Haley tried to play it off but could she really see the concern shining in his eyes? She figured she was running a temperature and imagining things.

'When did that come on you?' He said as he stuck the toast in the toaster.

'Just there this evening I went for a nap and woke up feeling worse.' Haley mumbled as she took a sip of water feeling a shiver run through her.

'You want some toast? I'm making some.'

Haley nodded with a small smile and watched him slide more into the toaster. This was nice, even if he was just taking pity on her it was nice.

'So you're back playing basketball…' She said softly to him.

Nathan leaned back against the counter crossing his arm over his chest. 'Yea…eh I've joined the local team actually me and Lucas..'

'That's good Nathan you always loved it.' Haley said as they caught each other's gaze before quickly glancing away.

Nathan cleared his throat saying nothing more as he began buttering the popped toast. He handed it over to her while he snapped the kettle on to boil. She couldn't help but think it was just the most comforting and nicest toast ever because he made it for her and she knew that was pathetic but didn't care. A few minutes later he left a cup of hot lemon beside her before sitting down in the stool adjacent to her eating his own toast.

They ate in silence but for once it wasn't a tense as it had been between them the last while. She was grateful for the reprieve.

'My dad has his 6-month check-up this weekend, he has to go in for a full screening.'

'How is he doing?' Nathan asked.

'Good, mum has him doing cardio sessions now on the cross if you'd believe it?'

Nathan let out a small laugh at that and it warmed her heart. 'I'll bet he loves that.'

'He's lost a good bit of weight it suits him.'

'I'm glad Haley at least he's making those changes himself you know.'

'I guess.' Haley agreed.

Nathan pulled back then all too soon as he went over to the tap washing out his plate. He turned around then noticing her shiver a little as she sipped on her hot lemon.

'You should probably stay at home tomorrow..'

'I don't know if I can I'm only back after my leave…' Haley mumbled.

'Well you're not going to be much good to the kids if you're like that Hales.'

The way her nickname flowed off his tongue so effortlessly made her smile despite how cold and shaky she was feeling.

He walked out and came back in seconds later with her favourite sweatshirt of his handing it to her.

'Here. Put this on.' He said and she took it gratefully from him slipping it over her body immediately feeling its warm and his smell surround her.

'Thanks.' Haley mumbled shyly, a far cry from the usual way she'd steal his shirt and run away from him.

'Look I'm beat….' He hesitated a little then. 'But if you need anything….'

'Sure..' Haley said softly putting him out of his misery, she could kind of tell he didn't want to say it yet there was no way if hiding his concern for her. He did seem worried. 'Thanks Nathan.' He gave her a small smile before going down to his room and she missed him instantly.

XXXXX

It was around 7.05 a.m. when she heard the knock on her door. 'Hmm…' Haley mumbled coming out of her sleep to find her all body covered in a sheen of sweat, every part of her felt like it was on fire and yet as she moved under the sheets she shivered.

She could hear him stepping into the room then as she came out of her sleep feeling completely disorientated.

Little did she know he had actually snuck in to check on her twice during the night and he had a pretty good feeling she wouldn't be leaving this bed today, she looked even sicker than last night right now.

'Nathan…' Haley choked out miserably. She was vaguely aware of his hand feeling her sticky forehead then.

'You've a temperature…' He said as he sat down on the bed beside her.

'Yea I think I was raving in my sleep.' Haley mumbled. 'Oh god what time is it?' She tried to sit up then closing her eyes at the sudden sense of vertigo.

'It's just after 7…' He said softly watching her face contort. 'Oh god I've to be…'

'Haley I really don't think you'll make work today.' Nathan hedged. 'Where is your phone?'

'Nathan I can't I'm only back…I actually can't..'

'You're not going to be able to walk from this bed to the front door so you definitely won't be able to teach, where's your phone?'

'Bedside table under all the gross tissues…sorry.' She mumbled as she sunk back down onto her pillow again.

That got a small smile on his face as he rummaged for it before taking it and leaving the room.

She was dozing when she heard him come in sometime later. 'Ok I rang your principal said you're very ill she was really nice about it..'

'You didn't have to do that.' Haley mumbled feeling even more in love with him than she knew possible, now was really not the time to tell him that but she wanted to. He'd probably tell her she was raving.

'What or risk you going in there and collapsing….here take these.' He said handing her 3 types of tablets with a glass of orange.

She didn't question them just knocked them back before sinking underneath the covers again.

'Ok Haley I know you're very comfy under there but I'm going to move you into my bed and take these covers and give them a wash..'

'No then you'll get sick I can't go near your room Nathan..' She mumbled stubbornly.

'Haley I'm pretty sure if I'm to get it I will.' He said. 'Here do you think you can get up and then you can get into my bed?' He pulled back the covers gently and she grimaced at the waft of cold air sending her body into a shiver even though she had sweat through the sheets.

'This is gross I'm sorry.'

'Hales you remember the day dad found us on the beach…'

She scowled as she slowly sat up. 'That's not really going to make me feel better.' She grimaced thinking back to how Dad had made Nathan clean up her mess.

'I'm just saying I've handled a lot worse.' He teased his hand coming to rest on her shoulder as she stood up and he handed her fresh pjs.

She wobbled into the bathroom then swiftly changing before sitting down on the toilet seat when she felt weak. Nathan came in then glancing at her worriedly. 'I think I'll call Peyton.' He said.

'Oh no…please don't she's going to an art exhibition today and I really don't want to ruin that for her…'

'Ok don't panic it's just a thought I don't want you here on your own.'

'Nathan I'm ill not dying.'

'Well you look…'

She gave him a pointe look then and he smiled sheepishly. 'Sorry I'm worried that's all.'

'And I love you for that but really once I get back into bed and sleep this off I'll be fine it's probably some 24-hour thing…'

He didn't want to get to caught up in the casual way she said those words but it still made his belly flip-flop. 'Ok' He gave in not wholly wanting to. Haley went into his room as he stripped her sheets and threw them in the washing machine alongside her pjs. He strolled back into his bedroom then noticing she was already tucked in under the covers asleep. Nathan left a few more of the magic pills by the dresser for her as well as some hot lemon in a flask. He stared down at her peaceful sleeping form before leaving a gentle kiss on her head and leaving the room.

XXXXX

'Hey girlie I come bringing goods…'

'He called you..' Haley said as she pulled her heavy body into a sitting position on the bed.

'What is with this apartment and people in it greeting me with scowls on their faces.' Peyton teased.

'I'm sorry I knew you had that exhibition..'

'Which I'm currently on the way too so I thought I'd pop in. By the way Nathan rang wondering what magazines to get you cause he said you only read books usually and he was all in a tizzy it was actually kind of sweet.'

Haley smiled at that.

'Oh you are so gone on him aren't you Haley?' She mused.

'Yea a little too soon to joke about I think.' Haley said softly just as Peyton dropped some magazines by her bed.

'Thanks for stopping by you didn't have to though I really don't want you catching this.'

'Ah that doesn't matter at least if I got it, it would delay me going back.' Peyton joked.

'We're going to miss having you here.' Haley said.

'Yea I like this city Hales, who knows I might decide to make it home.'

'would Jake have anything to do with that?' Haley smiled at her.

Peyton shrugged. 'Maybe, I dunno it's too early Haley…you know how all that went down with Julian.'

'Jakes not Julian though..' Haley said softly.

'Yea.' Peyton drawled. 'Anyway enough about my problems, let's talk about yours.' She grinned.

'Funny..' Haley mumbled. 'Actually today and yesterday is the most we've talked and that's only because I got ill and he had to ask if I was ok…'

'Well it's a good thing you got sick then.' Peyton mused trying to cheer her up.

'Ok I think your skinny sarcastic ass can leave now…' Haley mused as she pulled a magazine off the bedside locker.

'Well at least your spunk is still in there.' Peyton teased. 'Well I was just dropping these off I am going to take my skinny sarcastic ass to this exhibition..' She said as she hopped off the bed. 'I'll call you later you ok.'

'Bye Peyt…' Haley said with soft sigh as she dropped the magazine down, she didn't even have the concentration or the energy to read. She was about to sink under the covers again when a sudden bout of nausea hit her. 'Oh god..' She groaned as she threw back the covers and raced into Nathan's ensuite.

Nathan came in the door balancing the brown paper bag with his own take out coffee and lunch. He gave the door a light kick closed behind him as he began making his way to his bedroom. 'Haley I got….' He began only to find the bed empty, covers thrown back. He grimaced then hearing the sound of her belching.

Nathan left the lunch and stuff on his dresser as he pushed back the door to his bathroom. 'Hales…'

'Nathan don't come in here.' She moaned as her head hung over the toilet bowl.

'It's nothing I haven't seen before.' He mumbled not really caring what her orders were at the moment, if possible she looked even worse than this morning, ghastly pale.

She whimpered shivering a little as she leant over the toilet bowl.

'Were you sick before this?' He asked worried.

'Yea earlier just after Peyton left, I can't keep anything down.' She said pulling back a little when she thought it was safe to do so.

'You look nice.' Haley mumbled as she took him in standing against the doorframe in a baby blue shirt and black slacks, his tie hung loose around his shoulders.

Nathan just gave her a small smile before he crouched down beside her. 'How's the fever?'

'I thinks I've sweated it out of me because I've been in bed since Peyton left, I can't believe I slept until you got here…'

'It's only 3 Hales…'

'Nathan…did you leave work? I'm fine..'

'Well you don't seem fine and I brought you lunch although I don't think you'll want that now.'

'Thank you..' She said then as the tears welled in her eyes.

'Hey…' He cajoled her. 'It's not that big of a deal leaving early.'

'No, no it's not that…' Haley mumbled swiping at her eyes.

'What…..are you feeling that bad?'

'No…it's just everything, Peyton said you rang about the magazines.' She got out although h barely understood as she was a bubbling mess.

She seemed to be a little all over the place but he figured she was obviously a little out of sorts with feeling unwell and the medication was quiet strong. 'Come on let's get you back to bed.'

'But I'm only going to be sick again.'

'If you are I'll bring in something so you don't have to run in here. Come on your shivering.' He placed his arm around her then one arm tucking underneath her legs as he picked her up and carried her back into his room tucking her into the bed.

'Thank you I know you don't want to be around me right now.' Haley mumbled her voice muffled by the covers.

'It's not that it's….' Nathan faltered then not really sure how or what to say to anymore. This, caring for her when she wasn't feeling great, it was safe it was easy…there were things you said and did like you would for anyone that was ill. But it didn't change anything, it didn't change the fact that their friendship was in a complete shambles.

As much as it felt like it did.

'Here, get some more rest I can heat your soup up for you later.'

It was much later in the evening when Nathan slipped back into the room.

'Hey..' Haley croaked out noticing he had changed out of his work clothes into sweatpants and a long-sleeved top, his hair freshly washed. 'I know it's like may but could you pop the heat on for an hour?' Haley asked him softly as she tried to wrap the blankets tighter around herself.

'Haley I've had it on since 5…'

'Oh really..' She mumbled her teeth chattering a little.

'Are you shivering?'

'Yea crazy right I was like a sweat box last night and now it's like the north pole in here.'

Nathan hated seeing her so ill, it had been forever since either of them had a dose like this and usually Haley was a lot whinier when she was sick, instead she just seemed evaporated somewhat. It only concerned him further.

Not thinking too much about it he peeled back the covers on the other side of the bed as he hopped in beside her. 'Come here…' He said gently then tugging on her body.

'Nathan what are you….' She sighed contentedly then as he pulled her against his chest his arms snaking around her shivering form running up and down trying to generate some heat in her body.

'That better?'

'Hmm…' She whispered as she wrapped one of her arms around him holding him close.

'I'm supposed to be brining my dad to that appointment Sunday I was meant to leave for Tree Hill tomorrow.' Haley whispered against his chest.

'I don't think you're going to be better to go Haley and even If you are you should probably rest.'

'I know and I wouldn't but I promised, mum is up with Taylor the weekend and I'm pretty sure dad would only love if I couldn't go you know how he is with check-ups…'

'What about if I go..' Nathan said and Haley pulled back just enough so he could see her.

'Nathan I can't ask you to do that…'

'I don't mid besides your dad would prob be less stubborn with me…'

'Haven't you a game this weekend?'

'Just training.'

Silence fell between them then as Haley cuddled back in close to him.

'I've already made up my mind just in case you're thinking of talking me out of it.'

'Can I go with you?' Haley whispered hesitantly then.

He wasn't sure if she'd even meant for him to hear it, she sounded so uneasy just saying those words. 'Haley…'

She caught the hesitation in his tone and bit her lip. 'Nathan I know things are a mess with us right now….. it's just I'd like to come with you unless you really don't want me to…'

'It's not that its…' He paused then swallowing hard as she peeled her head away from his chest again glancing up at him.

'It's what…' She said softly her eyes beseeching his ones that seemed so lost. 'What is it?'

'It's nothing never mind you should get some sleep.'

She sighed softly not having the energy within her to push him for more, it just felt so good to be cuddling him like this again even if emotionally he was miles away from her. 'If I'm feeling better can I come?'

'If you're feeling better.'

She smiled as his words then closing her eyes listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and it wasn't long after that he joined her.

XXXXX

They were about an hour and a half into their long drive when he finally spoke, not that she had been counting the minutes or anything. Haley figured Nathan still wasn't 100% about her coming but she was feeling fine energy wise, there was just the lingering nausea. She didn't tell Nathan she had been sick earlier and she was really hoping her porridge wasn't about to come up over his car.

'You feeling ok?' Nathan asked not taking his eyes off the road.

'Fine.' Haley said quietly as she threw her head into a magazine hoping her face didn't give her need to barf away.

'You sure?' Nathan said a little cautiously.

'Yea Nathan, you know it's more tiredness than anything I definitely wouldn't have been able to drive.'

He nodded then accepting her words which was unlike him. He'd usually press until he got the truth out of her. Nathan could always tell, she assumed he didn't want to talk any more than was necessary. Haley let out a small sigh, god sometimes it felt like they were making no forward progress at all.

Just then Nathan's phone started ringing and he shook his head before accepting the call through the car Bluetooth speaker. Haley ducked back into her magazine while he sprouted on about some client they had coming over earlier than intended.

'Well I faxed all of that across to the San Fran office…' Nathan said wondering what the big panic was. 'Yes they have it in time.'

Haley listened squinting her eyes curiously as the woman told him that Millicent had left all the updated files on his desk. He was telling the woman she was going above and beyond her normal job and to tell her to take a break.

'Sure yea am I'll be in earlier on Monday anyway so we can go through it then,…yea.' Nathan agreed. 'Ok , thank you Charlene…bye.'

She watched as he muted the phone then intent on not taking any more calls that day.

'Who is Millicent?' Haley said curiously, she hadn't heard of her name before.

Nathan glanced at her curiously wondering why from that entire conversation she had honed in on that.'Oh am she's helping me…' Nathan said not wanting to make a big deal of it.

'Like as in an assistant…' Haley wondered.

'Well yeah kind of…'

'You got promoted?' Haley said dropping her magazine on her lap as she looked at him wide eyed with curiosity and a silver of excitement.

Nathan just nodded. 'Yea.' He mumbled and she couldn't believe how monotone that was.

'Omg Nathan that's amazing…..when?'

He should have loved how genuinely excited she was right now but it just wasn't the same. 'In March Haley.' He said really not wanting to get into this conversation now when they were both boxed off inside a car.

And her excitement died hastily as she swallowed. 'Oh…' She mumbled hating herself even more. What a stupid question. 'I wish you could have told me.'

He bit his lip from snapping at her as she shook his head. 'Well after I told you I didn't want to speak to you until you came back I kind of figured you didn't want to talk…'

Haley sighed thinking of that last phone call they'd had in February. 'I tried calling you Nathan so many times…' She said softly.

'Yea well you heard what I said.' He mumbled staring straight ahead, his gaze piercing the road, his hands clenching the wheel.

'So what your ultimatum or nothing….is that what it was?'

'Yea I mean I was just taking a page out of your book Haley because you made the decision to leave and just expected me to deal with it on your terms.'

'How many times do I have to tell you it wasn't like that?' She said defeatedly. 'God Nathan….I chose to go ok I made a mistake; I know I did and god I was an idiot I know that but I also think the time apart was necessary, things had got messy and confusing with us and…'

He scoffed bitterly interrupting her. She was basically saying him falling in love with her was one huge, giant error.

'Whatever…'

She sighed her hand coming down to rub her nauseous tummy as she gave in realising it wasn't fair on either of them to do this here and now especially when he was driving. She couldn't help it though; she was desperate to continue chipping away at those walls he'd built around her. She missed her best friend so much and hell if she never asked for anything again she just wanted him back in her life.

'Is she pretty?' Haley asked after several silent minutes.

'What?' Nathan said befuddled with the sudden change in topic 'Who?'

'Millicent…' Haley wondered curiously.

'Ah….I don't really know how to answer that….' He scrambled, yes she was pretty he realised but he didn't think of her in that light. Especially seen as he'd set her up with his friend.

'Well it's a pretty simple question.' Haley mumbled self-consciously wondering why she was being so pathetic.

'I set her up with Mouth.' Nathan said not really sure why he felt the need to tell her that, maybe it was just to get out of this ridiculous conversation or maybe to ease her worry. But why would she be worried? Nathan sighed. Haley heard him and decided to let the conversation slide, simultaneously deciding it probably would be best if they didn't speak at all.

XXXXX

'So let me get this straight…you two are not together, you don't even look like you're friends and you're both taking me to the hospital?' Jimmy grumbled as he pushed off the couch.

Nathan was standing with his arms crossed at the door looking uncomfortable while Haley stood in the sitting room in front of her dad. They'd only just arrived 5 minutes ago and had to go straight to the hospital so he wouldn't miss his appointment. She was glad they had no time to spare, after the silence in the car they both needed to be distracted with something even if it was her father teasing them about their relationship.

'We are friends daddy.' Haley said defiantly crossing her arms just like Nathan.

'Yea seems like it.' He mumbled glancing at the pair.

'Mr James….I asked Haley to stay..' Nathan began and Haley cut him a look for trying to justify her father's apt judgement of this entire situation between them. She was annoyed because her father was right and dammit Nathan was helping him to be.

Nathan just shrugged.

'I'll bet and I assume you were stubborn about it darling?'

'I told you I was bringing you didn't I?'

'honey weren't you just bed ridden for two days?'

'She was.' Nathan said ignoring Haley looking at him then but he wasn't doing it to spite her, he was still a little concerned. She looked like she'd being about to throw up in the car for the last hour.

'Yea the key word there being was….I'm feeling much better I wouldn't be here if I wasn't…'

Jimmy just smiled at Nathan, the boy's concern for his daughter so obvious despite how clearly uneasy things still were between them.

'Right let's get going the sooner we get this over with the sooner you two can go back to pretending you don't care about each other.' He grumped. Nathan and Haley's eyes found each other then before they looked away as they all left the house. This was already turning out to be an incredibly long day.

They were in the waiting room of the coronary care unit now awaiting the doctor to come out and take Jimmy in for his assessment. Haley glanced around at the walls memorising every little crevice, stain and idle photo of somewhere scenic yet incredibly unrelatable. She'd spent many a day here when her dad was transferred from New Jersey.

Many a day was spent giggling on the phone to Nathan, he had really kept her spirits up during that time. They had been so close; it was after that night they shared in the log cabin. God just the way he had looked at her when they slept together that night. Nobody had ever looked at her that way.

Nathan bit his lip a little feeling Haley's eyes on him, he didn't even have to turn to know she was looking his way. He could feel it and he was biting his lip and it was making his palms sweaty and what the hell was wrong with him? Nathan bolted up then quickly, Haley watching him curiously as her father just shook his head knowingly.

Silly pair. Jimmy chuckled to himself at how fifth grade they were acting around each other today.

'Ah…I'm going to go get some food or something…' Nathan mumbled awkwardly wiping his hands on his jeans. 'You two want anything?'

'No thanks…' Haley said softly catching his eyes. He just nodded before taking a step back and turning away.

Jimmy just chuckled softly and Haley looked at him. 'What two days away from mom and you're going crazy?' She teased him.

'Oh I'm not the crazy one…' He told her.

'Dad…' Haley sighed.

'No honey, so what this whole relationship between you two was a farce for the wedding …do you really believe it was just that because if you do your crazy..'

'It was at the time dad.' Haley reasoned.

'I think you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted it or at least wanted to see what it would be like but you were too afraid to try…both of you that is.'

'Maybe, I don't really know anymore.'

'You do know darling, you do know.' He said gently as he gave her a pat on the knee. 'And just so you know I'm going in for my check-up alone.'

'Daddy…'

'No daddy me…you two have a lot to figure out, maybe you can do some of that while you're here waiting for me.'

'Nathan doesn't want to spend time alone with me.' Haley mumbled.

'Your mom doesn't like spending time alone with me and this is her first weekend away alone in 5 years.' Jimmy teased.

Haley just shook her head at him as the two of them shared a small laugh.

XXXXX

Nathan came back to an empty waiting room feeling relived they'd being called in. He was pretty sure Jimmy was eying him like he was the one that needed to go in and be checked with how strange he was acting.

He didn't know why but even just her eyes on him was sending him over the edge. God he was pathetic.

Nathan sat laying his back against the wall just deciding a snooze wasn't a bad idea when the nurse called him. 'Excuse me are you Nathan Scott?'

'Yes…why?' He said cautiously wondering was something up.

'Oh it's just your friend Haley, she fainted on her way out of here we've just took her down to the ER..'

Nathan jumped up from his seat. 'What?...is she ok? Will she be alright?'

The nurse smiled kindly. 'She's ok we're just running some blood tests but I can assure you it's nothing to serious.'

'Dammit I knew she shouldn't have come…' He mumbled to himself running a hand through his hair noticing the nurse was still there. 'I'm sorry she's just not being well.'

'Her blood pressure was quiet low but it's nothing to worry about, actually she's already coming around and asked if you'd stay here and wait for her father.'

Nathan let out a small sigh then knowing Haley would only get into even more of a tizzy if he went down there and left her dad up here even though he knew her father wouldn't' mind.

He wasn't sure how long it was later but Jimmy was a no show and he was wondering where the hell Haley was, he was seconds away from going down there himself when he heard her sniffling.

Glancing up he felt his stomach drop at her tear-stained eyes. ' Haley…' He started worried and then she smiled at him through those tear-stained eyes and he just felt incredibly confused.

'Are you ok? The nurse told me you fainted and I…well I tried to go down but then she told me to wait and I..' He was cut off as she all but ran into him throwing her arms around him and holding him tightly.

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't really formulate any words he was so taken back by the way she was holding onto him, that beautiful magnolia scent of her hair just wafted around him and then he felt her tears.

Her behaviour was just completely throwing him.

'Haley..' He prodded gently trying to pull away to make eye contact with her but she only huddled closer to him.

'I'm fine I promise.' She mumbled against his chest.

She pulled back wiping her eyes a little. 'God I'm so in love with you Nathan…'

She could tell by the look on his face he was stunned, too stunned to even speak or do anything. That was clearly the last thing he expected her to say in a public place and all.

'I know it wasn't supposed to be like this….in…well here.' She stuttered, an almost awe-stricken smile on her face 'But I just can't keep this in any longer and I'm sorry maybe you don't want to hear it now but I love you…god I have for the longest time.' She said through happy tears then.

'Excuse me…' The kind nurse from earlier interrupted them then as Haley practically jumped away wiping at her eyes. She hadn't even realised she had been crying god she must look crazy and from the look on Nathan's face she certainly was acting so.

'Sorry for interrupting but your dad is looking for you Haley he'd just like to look over some papers.'

Haley nodded before glancing back at Nathan rather shyly and embarrassed. He was still taken aback by her admission and she couldn't help but notice how bashful he appeared too; it warmed her heart how he seemed to be so knocked off from his usual confident self around her. She left him a small parting kiss on the cheek before she pulled away to go and find her dad.

XXXXX

Haley smiled as she padded into their living room where Nathan was sitting with his back rested against the couch, legs stretched out in front of him just watching the crackling fire. She smiled at the familiar scene in front of her, many a night after the two of them were out playing until the late hours would they come in and sit like this in front of the fire with hot chocolates laughing and joking trying not to wake her parents.

'I can't believe its mid-May and dad has still got the fire on.'

Nathan just sent her a small smile before he went back to staring at it.

'Did you go to the café?' Haley questioned him softly as she sat down beside him careful to keep some distance between them. She hadn't really seen him since her outburst earlier. Her father initiated the conversation all the way back from the hospital and once they had gotten home Nathan decided to give them some time together. She was cajoling herself for how hazardously she had let that out considering she had being carefully keeping it in the last two weeks until she felt he was ready to hear it.

How ridiculous that concept seemed now, there was never going to be the perfect moment. But right now felt like a good moment to try and explain herself.

'I went to mom's grave actually.' Nathan muttered quietly.

Her mouth actually fell open, she hadn't being expecting that. And for some reason she felt saddened by the fact he didn't need her there with him. 'I'd liked to have gone with you.' Haley mumbled quietly then folding her arms over herself.

He caught onto the meaning behind her words straight away. 'I didn't really know I was going until I ended up there.' Nathan spoke lowly, so low she strained to hear him. 'Besides I've been relying on you too much Haley we both know that.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' She sounded more sad than offended.

'I relied on you too much to cope with what happened Haley and I think I have been since; it wasn't fair to you then and it's not now.'

'Nathan you went through hell loosing Karen I wouldn't expect you or ever want you to go through that alone, ever. And I never want you to not come to me even if we're not….' Haley sighed then. What a ridiculous statement, she pondered, how could they ever not be friends? He was the most important person in her life, he always had been.

'You remember that night in your car after I dragged you out of that party?' Haley pondered softly then watching the fire crackle between them.

Nathan swallowed hard. 'Yea I was a mess.' He admitted.

'Yea but you were my mess.' She said with a small smile.

Silence befell between them again for several seconds until Haley spoke again.

'I wanted to kiss you that night.' She admitted in s soft whisper.

She lifted her eyes to meet his surprised ones, clearly the last thing he was expecting her to say to him.

'I remember sitting there on your lap in that tiny old corolla, you were crying…' She hesitated. 'And I dunno what came over me but I remember just wanting to so bad and I freaked out….like major freaked out Nathan.' She said a little more animatedly then. 'I'm talking like the moment I got home I went rooting through our old family alums at like 1am in the morning looking for the ugliest pictures of you as a child..'

He couldn't resist the smile breaking out on his face and she smiled along with him.

'I mean anything…but of course there were no ugly pictures because you were perfect remember?' She teased him for always taking the piss out of her wild mess of hair and gap tooth pictures, whereas he seemed to have complete missed that boat. 'I guess I was just searching for sanity because it fucking terrified me I mean you know we never..' Haley reasoned a little embarrassed 'And then to want to do that I just lost my cool, I even searched on the web is it normal to want to kiss your best friend when they're going through some major traumatic event….I wanted evidence…'

Nathan couldn't help but smile as she rambled on not the slightest bit surprised by the way she had dealt with that, it was so Haley after all.

'I wanted evidence for how I was feeling but I think maybe I knew I wouldn't find that evidence …because I felt it you know.' She admitted softly then, her tone more serious. 'Something between us that year was changing Nathan, before we lost Karen. And I was so scared, I'd never been in love with someone…'

'Hales….' He began there not sure why he was stopping her when a part of him so badly wanted to hear it but then another part of him was just scared.

'No Nathan…you need to hear this properly this time.' She said gathering up her resolve. 'I'm sorry for the way I blurted it out in the hospital I couldn't help it …..I know you don't think it but I have been holding this in for so long, not just since I got back…' She said letting out a heavy breath. 'I'm in love with you Nathan and I realised that before this whole Stanford mess blew up in our faces, I used it as an excuse to run because I guess I was scared as I was when we were 17 maybe even more….'

'Maybe you leaving was for the best…' Nathan mumbled sadly and she looked across at him eyes wide in surprise as those words left his mouth so hollowly.

'Nathan…'

'I have been selfish with you Haley, I was selfish when I lied to you about Stanford because I wanted you in New York and I've been selfish with you since, you lost your virginity to me and I kept on sleeping with you even though I knew that was a big deal to you…I just ..'

'I don't regret how it happened.' Haley interrupted him softly then and he looked just at her as though he was trying to read the mistake in her words. 'I don't Nathan.'

'But I do Haley…I regret how I dealt with it after it happened….I regret it all..'

'How can you when it brought us here Nathan?'

He shook his head softly at her words. 'We're a mess Haley.'

'Yea well friendships, relationships…. they're supposed to be messy and complicated it's not meant to be linear …so what we've both made mistakes it's supposed to be that way.'

'Nathan…' Haley said as she leaned up on her knees shuffling closer to him reaching out to clasp his hands in hers. Her thumb ran along the inside of his palm soothingly.

He spoke then, his voice seemed strained. 'I argued her Haley, your mom I told her that not letting you go to Stanford was a mistake, I said that I wanted to get you as far away from this godforsaken town as possible…there was so much pain and misery. And then she threw it back on me, she said I was about to lose the next most important person in my life and how could I let that happen when I had a chance to change it…then she said how would I feel if something was to happen to you..'

'She really lay on the guilt huh…' Haley said continuing to rub her thumb against his palm soothingly.

'Not just that this wasn't all on your mum Hales, the things she said… they just seemed to latch onto me, I think I was living in such a state of fear that I started to have all these irrational thoughts about what could happen to you and I panicked, I believed her and I made my decision there and then.' He said sighing regretfully.

She looked at him, the way his shoulders slumped with his words, the worry lines crinkling his forehead. 'Please say something…' Nathan said softly then after too much silence.

Haley sighed. 'I just wish you could have told me…I just…that wasn't your burden to carry not after losing Karen and I hate that you felt that way.' Haley gave him a small smile then. 'You know when I was away I was doing a lot of thinking and sometimes I wonder if I even would have gone, if I could have left…'

'You would have.' Nathan said in a heartbeat.

'I don't know maybe it was a blessing in disguise.'

'I love you for saying that but we both know you would have gone Haley, a dreams a dream right?'

Her heart fluttered at his words, he hadn't even realised he'd said it and that just warmed her insides even more how natural it sounded. 'Yea but maybe I was dreaming about it for all the wrong reasons.' She said earnestly biting her lip as she tugged softly on his hands again meeting those gut-wrenching beautiful blue eyes of his, god did she want to kiss him so bad.

'It's always going to be there though you know …..you accepting it doesn't make it go away.'

'No its you accepting it that will make it go away.' Haley reasoned softly. 'I think you've held onto this long enough don't you?'

His fingers absentmindedly rubbed against the palms of her hands now like hers had being with his. Such a simple touch had his whole body simmering with anticipation. 'Hales it's not that easy…'

'It is I can forgive you for being selfish if you can forgive me…' She said softly biting her lip.

His eyes met hers again. 'What do you mean?'

'I was selfish when I ran off without even hearing you out, I wasn't thinking about you…only me and yea I was scared of us, of it all but now..'

'Now I'm scared….' Nathan said so rawly and honestly she swallowed hard hearing his next words which he said so lowly and apprehensively. 'What if we ruin it?'

She didn't waste another moment then hearing the vulnerability behind those words shook something deep inside of her. Haley pulled herself onto his lap, straddling him as her hands rested on his shoulders. 'What if we can be better?' She whispered.

He swallowed hard, the warmth of her breath fanning across him, his body on heightened alert from her close proximity and her scent, her familiar intoxicating scent.

'I know we've had some of our best times in those weeks we were kind of together that's got to mean something…right..' Haley whispered. 'God I've missed you.' She said heartily, her voice filled with emotion as she rested her forehead against his relishing in the sound of his heavy breathing knowing this was effecting him as much as it was her.

She pulled back slightly then looking into those blue eyes that never wavered from her own. 'Kiss me…' She whispered watching him.

He leaned closer then rather hesitantly, his lips moving painfully slow towards hers, his nose rubbed softly against hers, her breathing was shallow now coming out it whimpering pants in anticipation . 'Nathan kiss me…' She sighed contentedly as his lips finally touched hers, the kiss felt timid and gentle at first almost as though they were kissing for the first time, seeking permission or exploring an unknown territory. And perhaps in a way it was now that they were kissing as lovers.

Nathans hands came up to wrap around her back pulling her closer to him moaning against her as their kiss picked up intensity, Haley pressed into him eliciting the most delicious groan from him as their mouths slanted open, tongues dualling together savouring the hot, wet heat. The gentle sucking sounds and drowned out moans filled the living room until there wasn't a breath of air left between them.

Nathan pulled back first panting harshly as Haley looked at him almost shyly, her lips parted and swollen. He gave her a small smile which she returned as they just gazed at each other almost in awe.

'I was actually more nervous kissing you then…' He admitted rather bashfully and she sent him the most endearing smile. 'I was nervous too.'

Nathan chuckled softly at that surprising her again, this time with his actions as he pulled her in against him hugging her tight.

They stayed like that, just holding each other for the longest time. 'I love you Haley.' He whispered softly to her.

'I love you too.' She whispered back feeling her eyes well up with the sheer emotion of it all. She pulled back. 'I always have.'

He captured her lips again, seeking out her tongue, seeking out the warmth of her mouth so savagely as their kisses fired up with intensity, their dual moans and grunts evading the once quiet space. Haley began to gyrate against him in the most delicious, tortuous rhythm as they continued kissing passionately.

He groaned into her mouth feeling her hands tease underneath his sweater, scorching every part of skin she touched. Nathan pulled away, breathing staggered from their heated kisses feeling her hands tug on his sweatshirt.

'We can't Hales your dad…' He grimaced just thinking about it.

'Nathan it's 1am…' She whispered back as she gyrated on his cock again so heavenly he bit his lip hard to hold back the loud moan.

'Haley….he always gets up for a cup of tea in the night you know that…' He barely got out as he felt her slowly and teasingly move up and down his shaft. 'Dammit….that feels a so good.' He painfully got out as she giggled and he opened his eyes in surprise at both her actions and her words.

'You know what would make it feel even better…' She teased innocently biting her lip as she went to take off her pyjama pants where he could already see the start of her cerise pink panties. 'Fuck Haley….' He moaned. 'Your killing me.'

She started slipping off her trousers then and he jolted from his pleasurable haze. 'No….you can't take them off.'

She couldn't help but hold off the giggle at his panic and his fluster amidst his obvious sexual frustration. It was actually kind of cute how much he was trying to fight this. 'Nathan…come on its past 1am, dad is out for the count…'

'I actually can't believe you're the one trying to convince me to have sex in your living room with your dad upstairs.'''

'Its 1am there is no way he is coming down here after today..' She argued as she began to tease her hand below the waistband of Nathan's sweatpants. 'Besides he can't even drink tea anymore since…'

'Well I'm pretty sure if he comes in and sees us we're going to give him another heart attack….' Nathan said as he stopped her hands breathing in deeply.

She was biting her lip co coyly and sexily when he opened his eyes again and he watched her looking for something and he wasn't even sure what he was looking for. He was full sure she was just playing with him but now she looked deadly serious, she wanted sex right here on this carpet…..which was so unlike her.

He was so deep in thought watching her features he hadn't realised how smoothly she had slid those velvet sweatpants of her down her legs until he felt her straddling him again, her wet heat dampening his own pants. 'Fuck Haley….'

She giggled then simultaneously so innocently and dirtily it only made him want her even more. Nathan held her then as he hoisted himself to the couch before standing up feeling her legs tighten around his waist. 'Nathan…what are you…'

'I'm not having you sitting in here looking like that….your dad will kill me, like actually kill me.' He grumbled as he walked with her out of the living room and crept up the stairs. Her giggling was a marr of beautiful nostalgia to moments they had shared growing up that were so like this every moment they were having now yet different all the same.

'Haley stop giggling we're going to wake him…' Nathan whispered chuckling despite himself as they clambered up the stairs.

That only made her laugh more.

They bundled into her room then chuckling together as Nathan set her down, both of them breathing deeply into the moonlit space listening for any sign they had stirred the sleeping occupant.

They glanced at each other then smiling heartily realising they were both listening for the same thing.

'I feel like I'm 17 again…' Nathan whispered. 'Listening to figure out if we've woke your parents…'

'Yea I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have let you back in here ever again if I left my sweatpants in the living room…' Haley teased.

'You left your sweatpants in the living room?' Nathan said his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

Haley giggled again at how adorable he was being. 'Relax you're like 7 years too late, the overprotective ship has long sailed…'

'You're a little troublemaker you know that…' Nathan said as he stepped closer to her then trailing his hand down her arm, goosebumps coating her entire body from that simple action.

She bit her lip coyly looking up at him. 'Yea but you love it.' She teased.

'Of course I do.' He smirked as he leaned in then kissing her so earnestly, not pushing for more just relishing in the feel of her mouth on his, her warmth, her taste, he wondered how'd he had survived so many years without it.

Nathan guided her back to the bed, his mouth never breaking the kiss, its intensity building like the thriving yearning in their hearts. They fell back to the bed, his body covering hers like a blanket, his rough callous hands smeared across her smooth skin, they devoured everywhere they touched, slid up and stroked every single inch of her as his tongue unmercifully implored her mouth, her hands too scraping down his balmy muscular back igniting every single part of him until they were finally joined again.

His thrusts so deep and heavy , so relentless he had to quieten her merciful cries with a deep, breathless kiss. He filled every part of her like he never had before and she met every single one of his girthful trusts lifting her hips from the bed each time.. 'Nathan….god….' Haley whimpered breathlessly as he kept up his steady rhythm, his eyes never once leaving hers, his breath fanning out so deliciously across her lips.

Brown met blue, eyes so deeply enthralled by how perfect their bodies fit and moved together, what it had always been and what it would always come down to; just the two of them in this bed forgetting the entire world existed.

And his final deep thrust was the culmination of them both; their impassioned love, their slickened bodies tangled together, their lips met much gentler this time savouring the very moment they made love in a bed they had only ever shared as childhood friends.