"Ok so what exactly is this next world?" Mei asked in confusion, "Cause it sounds kind of white trash."
"Trailer Park Boys." Ranger replies, "Basically Todoroki, Midoriya and Iida commit various crimes from the trailer park they live in."
"What kind of crimes do they commit?" Ochaco asked.
"Mostly growing and selling weed." Ranger answered, "But sometimes they get stuck in strange situations, like the time Iida stole a valuable model train and Todoroki and Midoriya used it to smuggle weed across the US, Canada border to Sabastian Bach."
"They sold weed to the former singer of Skid Row?" Kyoka asked in shock.
"Multiple times, however this time it's going to be Midoriya's most amusing injuries." Ranger replied.
The screen turned on to show Iida waking up because of the cold from Izuku's stollen industrial air conditioner.
"Cold, so cold." Iida said to himself before yerlling out, "Holly fuck, Izuku!"
At this point Iida ran into Izuku's trailer with Todoroki following due to the yelling, only to find a completely frozen Izuku with half a joint hanging from his mouth.
"Jesus Christ man, thaw him out." Todoroki told Iida, while handing him an air dryer.
"Wait, wait. I think he's still breathing through the joint." Iida said while turning off the hair dryer and lighting the joint causing Izuku to finally wake up.
"Holly fuck thats good weed." Izuku said, with the joint still in his mouth.
"Why did he even have an air conditioner that powerful?" Momo asked in confusion.
"He insulated his trailer with 1,000 pounds of weed and that was to keep it from getting moldy." Ranger explained.
"Wait, you can insulate a house with weed?" Mina asked excitedly.
"No." Ranger deadpanned.
The scene shifted to an adult Eri explaining to a cameraman about some of Izuku's injuries while a montage of all his injuries mentioned played.
"Dad is pretty much indestructible at this point, he has been electrocuted, shot and in car accidents. We just thawed him out and gave him a joint and he was just fine."
"HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?" Everyone asked at once.
The scene shifted to Izuku arguing with an older, more annoying Mineta while a pregnant Eri and Kota watched on.
"Good thing you woke me with that bugle horn fuck, cause I got 15 proof piss I need to force from my body." Izuku said while pissing through an electric fence, "You can keep me out but you can't keep my cock out."
"Is that so?" Mineta asked before turning on the electric fence for 10 seconds, causing Izuku to get electrocuted through his penis.
"What kind of fucker turns on an electric fence on another man's cock while taking a piss." Izuku yells out in pain, "Eri, don't look right now."
"I love seeing those 1-A bastards get hurt." Monoma began insulting, not noticing the glare from everyone else, "Especially if it's that green haired bastard."
"You know kid that unlike my son, my quirk can pull small objects towards me. Including the neurons in your brain, so unless you want to spend the rest of your life sitting in a Steven Hawking chair then shut the hell up." Inko calmly said to the 1-B student, who at that point had almost shit himself in fear.
"And I thought MY family was terrifying." Ranger deadpanned.
At this point the scene shifted to Izuku and Iida hiding behind an extremely damaged car while a two year old child was holding a gun.
"Ok Motel, I want you to point it at the ground so gramps can get it." Izuku said to his grandson while Todoroki approached the two.
"Jesus Christ, how did Mo get a handgun?" Todoroki asked.
"I don't know, he must have found it under the couch or something." Izuku replied to Todoroki before switching focus back to his grandson, "Ok Mo, I'm gonna get the gun and I want you to keep it pointed at the ground."
As Izuku approached his grandson he threw the gun on the ground causing it to go off and shoot Izuku...in the balls.
"MO JUST BLEW MY FUCKING NUTS OFF!" Izuku yelled in pain from the ground, causing the screen to go black.
"So Deku got shot by a small child?" Ochaco asked in confusion.
"Seems like it. Got anything to add you copy-cat bastard?" Bakugo asked.
"Well I…" Monoma began before seeing the glare being given by Inko.
"That's what I thought." Ranger deadpanned.
"That reminds me." Power Loader began speaking to Ranger, "Nezu emailed some rules you have to follow due to your indiscretions."
"What kind of rules?" Ranger asked.
"Just look at them on the screen." Power Loader deadpanned.
At this point the screen then displayed all the rules for Ranger scrolling like the Star Wars openings.
At no point are you allowed to do anything involving peanut butter, toothpaste and astroglide. NO EXEPTIONS!
Do not try to disprove the existence of God again. We do not need the angry letters from the bible belt.
Do not question how Katsuki Bakugo hasn't died from extreme dehydration due to how liberally he uses his quirk. Even if it is a legitimate question.
"How are you still alive?" Izuku asked the explosive teen.
"How the fuck should I know?" Bakugo responds.
Get approval for any materials needed for all projects. Do NOT go to Yaoyorozu for materials.
Science for the Science God is NOT a viable excuse to build potentially life threatening devices.
You are NOT the Science God in any way. No matter what Hatsume says.
You are to rangle the giant robotic rabbit and dis-assemble it. It was a bad idea to begin with.
There is NO market for alternate universe pornography. Not even in Germany.
Under NO circumstance may you rent out the alternate universe theatre system to Mineta, Kaminari or any other perverted student at UA, no matter how much they are offering.
You are not to use the alternate universe theatre to watch anything alone.
You are not allowed to bargain with anyone for their souls. Not even if you can get them a "Good Deal"
Having Shinso mass brainwash students so you can make your own memes is strictly prohibited.
Chainsaws are not the solution to any problem. Neither is "More Chainsaws" or "Chainsaw Cannons" except that one time. It was dope.
No using school resources to purchase pornography. Not even anomalous pornography.
The following phrases are no longer allowed to be used:
Blood makes the grass grow, KILL, KILL, KILL!
Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfuckers
Someone is getting stabbed
The fire extinguishers empty, GET THE HAIRSPRAY!
The FBI are a bunch of pussys
Screw morality I got money
We need bigger kittens
For the horde!
Commies love us
Ranger is NOT a doctor, so he cannot prescribe any of the following procedures:
Enemas
Surgery
Homeopathic remedies
Holistic medicine
Any sort of medication
The healing power of laughter
Sexual healing
More cowbell
"Please tell me you never tried any of those on anyone?" Mei asked the support student.
"I have." Ranger replied.
There are no codes for any of the following:
Zombie Conga Line
Badass hat
Vampire can-can
Disco corpse
Intense homoeroticism
Extreme crotch violence
Man disguised as a tree
Man with a porn 'stache
Kung fu rasta
Puppy eating monks
Ranger family reunion (There is a code for this now, it's code brown. It is recommended that you lock your doors and leave an offering of booze outside your door)
You are not to publish your self-authored comic book: Ranger and the 79 Virgins
You are not to create anything from any video games and yes, we have confiscated your BFG 9000.
You are not to post UA secrets on any of the following sites:
Youtube
4Chan
Pornhub
Youporn
"That seems like a bit much." Ranger pointed out.
"You are a terrible person." Kaminari pointed out.
"You sound just like my mother." Ranger replied.
"So what's the next one suposed to be?" Mei asked.
"The next one is EpicMealTime." Ranger replied.
Authors Note: Trailer Park boys and 20 things Ranger isn't allowed to do (Most of them can be found on the SCP list of things Dr. Bright isn't allowed to do. The next one is EpicMealTime.
As Always
Later