Leaning against the wall next to the unlit Christmas tree, Drake stares absently out of the window, watching the sun slowly rise. Sleep hasn't come easy lately, his muddled thoughts racing, keeping him awake when he sorely needs rest. He tenses when he hears the door squeak and sleep-heavy footsteps thudding down the hall towards him, exhaling sharply when a kiss is pressed to the top of his head. "Hey, what're you doing up at this hour?" Ethan wonders, settling down across from him and taking his hand, brushing his thumb lightly over his knuckles.

Drake searches Ethan's face for a long moment, before looking down at their hands. "I... I don't know," he says feebly. This only makes Ethan frown harder and Drake attempts to explain, "I just can't stop thinking. I guess."

"Thinking about what?" Ethan wonders.

Drake mulls over his words, trying to formulate the right response, before he really looks at Ethan. Takes in his pale complexion, how unfocused his eyes are, his hair all over the place. It's really been an absolute shit year for both of them, in different ways, but as much as Drake may have an excuse for his actions, Ethan's the one who's taken it all on the chin and kept coming back for more. The wedding, Drake's weeks of obsession over the 24/7 title wiping away everything else that was once important to him, their being drafted onto separate brands, and now... Drake swallows hard. This thing with Dana.

It doesn't mean anything to him, he's just desperate and sleep deprived, and sometimes he misses the relative safety of 205 Live, where he could have the strength of his title behind him, but now that he's alone on Smackdown, he's just a small man still suffering from partial amnesia, overwhelmed and unable to do anything of any real significance. Flirting with Dana, picking fights with Elias and whoever else, at least gives him something to do to distract from the maelstrom going on in his own head.

He licks his lips, searches Ethan's face. Decides to tell him the truth. "I've been..." He falters, feels Ethan's fingers curl more tightly around his knuckles, silent encouragement. "I've been having memories. I think."

Ethan's lips part, and he blinks at Drake, suddenly well awake. "Memories? You mean... Like...?"

Drake nods. "I mean, I always kind of did? Little flashes here and there, but this is... full on... crystal clear memories of my career post 2002, things in England." He exhales shakily. "Us." His eyes are wide and desperate when he looks up at Ethan. "I remember pretty much everything, sir."

Ethan coughs into his fist, absolutely floored by this revelation. "For how long?" he wonders softly.

"I've been remembering more the last few weeks," he says. "Maybe a month. It's just the last couple of weeks, I..." He looks away, then squares his shoulders and faces Ethan head on. "I remembered everything about prison. I remembered you firing me, I remembered... our match." His free hand gingerly scrapes through his hair, eyes blank with memories.

Ethan closes his eyes and gently lets Drake's hand slip through his fingers, pain etched into his face. "No wonder you've been acting so distant the last few weeks, I thought maybe it was just the draft, you adjusting to being on Smackdown, but... I- I guess this all makes sense. Everything with Dana."

Drake flexes his fingers, biting his lip as a chill creeps up his spine. "Sir," he says feebly, waiting until Ethan opens his eyes. "I- I'm struggling to process everything. You truly, absolutely seemed to hate me back then. How- why are we still...?" He waves his hand around at their apartment, shaking his head in confusion. "It... That is still muddled up here." He knocks his knuckles against his temple and shivers when Ethan reaches out and clutches his hand again, drawing it against his chest. "It makes no sense," he whispers, beseeching Ethan to explain to him. "Sir, I try to understand it based on what you've told me, but-"

Ethan adjusts his grip before tugging Drake over to sit on his lap, curling a hand around Drake's neck and holding him close. "I'm just too good of an actor for my own good," he says softly. "We had quite a few conversations about it, maybe you don't remember, or maybe it's what's muddled up in your head with everything else. I don't know, but I told you before everything we did back then was for my aunt's benefit, so she wouldn't fight too hard to undo what Angle did by rehiring you to TNA under a performer's contract. My goal was to get your visa to the States reinstated, and it succeeded. It sucked, and it hurt both of us, but I was able to keep you here, and that was the important thing," he says into Drake's hair. "I never imagined you'd suffer head trauma and lose a good deal of your memories."

Drake slowly pulls away and rasps a hand over Ethan's jaw, searching his eyes. "Neither did I, sir," he says with a faint grin, Ethan huffing out a laugh at him.

"So," he murmurs, cutting into the silence after a couple of minutes, "you remember more things about us now? I know you say you remembered a lot of the bad, do you remember any good times?"

Drake's brows furrow for a moment and he rests his forehead against Ethan's, lips twitching up into a soft smile. "Yes, I think so."

Ethan hums. "Wanna share any of them... tiger?" he teases, and it's Drake's turn to laugh faintly.

"I would make a ridiculous gazelle, sir," he says, eyes gleaming.

"Oh, I don't know, I think you have the legs for it," Ethan says, lightly pinching his thigh and causing Drake to gasp. "Anything else?"

"Our wrestling session was interesting," Drake offers after a few moments and Ethan laughs again, his hands easing over Drake's hips.

"That's one way to put it," he hums. "Anything else?"

Drake stares at him for a quiet, pensive moment, and then, "I remember the first time you said you loved me."

Ethan takes longer to respond to this, remembering it too- trapped in the middle of the drama with Dixie and all of the fall out from jail and everything else, and... "Yeah," he breathes out. "It holds true to this day, you know." He smiles at Drake. "It always will."

Drake lets out a muffled sound, half like a whimper, half like a sob, and presses into Ethan, tangling his fingers into Ethan's sleep mussed hair and kissing him intensely, Ethan's hold on him tightening as he eagerly responds, feeling the truth behind Drake's words- he kisses differently now, more like before, when each moment was precious, emotions close to the surface, and they knew they could lose each other at any time thanks to Dixie or Drake's immigration station or just anything. He's breathing raggedly when he pulls away, eyes shut tight. "I love you too, sir. So much. And I'm so, so sorry-"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Ethan whispers, pressing a finger to Drake's lips. "Absolutely nothing. You know why?"

Drake shakes his head, eyes wet and desperate as he looks at Ethan. "Why?"

"Because it didn't matter- what you could remember, your marriage, the draft, Dana," he says dryly. "You always came back here, to our home, to me. That was all of the proof I needed about how you really felt about me." He cradles Drake's face in his hands once more and smiles down at him. "But to know that you are remembering more and more, ... this is the best Christmas gift you could've ever given me."

Drake exhales shakily and nuzzles into Ethan's palms, kissing them. "Oh sir," he whispers. "I don't know how I ever could've forgotten."

"Next time," he says dryly, "be more careful at the gym. Ok?" He kisses the spot on Drake's forehead where he'd been bandaged a couple of years back. "I can't go through this again."

"You won't," Drake promises, clinging to his hands. "I swear." His words falter as he yawns widely, blinking slowly, and Ethan smiles a little.

"Think you can sleep now?"

Drake quirks an eyebrow at him. "Maybe," he says.

"Maybe," Ethan teases back. "Well, I suppose we should find out." He keeps a tight hold of Drake as he stands up and steadies his balance before leaving the living room, Drake's legs wrapped around him as he rests his head on Ethan's shoulder, eyes already fluttering closed as Ethan carries him into their bedroom.

He's not surprised when he lays Drake down, just to find him fast asleep as soon as he settles into the pillows. "I knew it. Good night, tiger," he whispers, leaning in and gently kissing him on the lips. After watching him sleep for awhile, Ethan settles down and curls a protective hand around Drake's waist, sleep claiming him quickly as well.