"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Chapter 17

My long, morning walk did nothing to center my thoughts. When I returned to the base, I found Harald was off sailing, giving me more time to think. But thinking was driving me nuts, so I took a break when Astrid and Stormfly landed by her hut.

"Hey, Astrid," I greeted her. "Have a nice flight?"

Astrid smiled at me. "You know it! During today's dragon hunter lookout patrol, Stormfly and I saw an interesting island near Glacier Island that we want to check out. It looked like there might even be dragon nests there. Come with me, Brennda. I could use the company!"

That certainly sounded better than running my thoughts into a hole. "Sure! Just let me grab Bolt."

Soon, we found ourselves hovering above an island as frozen over as Glacier Island. Hopefully it was not as dangerous. I looked around for any signs of life.

"What's going on over there?" Astrid said.

I turned to where she pointed. A group of Scuttleclaws were fighting off a Skrill. Bolt let out a low growl. He rubbed his neck soothingly. "I know, buddy."

"The Skrill must be an invasive species!" I said. "The Skrill is a much stronger dragon but the Scuttleclaws have an advantage in numbers."

"So, he's a bully," I said. Bolt growled again. "Of course, you're not like them."

"Look! A single Scuttleclaw isn't strong enough to fight off the Skrill, but the Skrill can't take on all the Scuttleclaws at once! The flock of Scuttleclaws acts in sync as a defense against predators. Each dragon performs a specialized role to help its flock-mates defeat threats."

I nodded in understanding. "That's pretty cool. Do you think we should get involved?"

"It does look like these Scuttleclaws need some help. We should lead the Skrill away from the Scuttleclaw nest. First, we need to get its attention. I'll stay at low altitude. Can you fly higher to get to a vantage point?"

"Sure thing!" I said. Bolt flew up high so we had a good view of the action below. Astrid signaled me, and Bolt shot a lightning bolt at the other Skrill. At the same time Stormfly swooped down in front of him grabbing his attention. Stormfly and Astrid flew off, away from the nest, with the Skrill in hot pursuit.

"Great, just like we planned!" Astrid called out to me. "Of course, now I have an angry Skrill on my tail. Help me out!"

Bolt flew after the Skrill before I could even command him. He seemed to take offense to the other male of his species. He shot at the dragon as we got close. Thankfully, Bolt was able to duck out of the way before we were spotted. With the Skrill slowed down, Stormfly was able to dart off into a cave on the island. Bolt and I soon joined them.

"That was a close one," I said as Bolt landed beside Stormfly. I dismounted and looked around the icy cave. There were odd ice chunks scattered all over that almost seemed to be glowing. "Whoa, what is this place?"

"I don't know, but it looks amazing," Astrid said, "and it doesn't look anything like the rest of the island."

Curious, I explored every inch of the cave. I stopped when I arrived at what appeared to be a snowy nest... with an egg inside! "Astrid, look at this!"

Astrid ran up beside me and gasped. "Is that a Flightmare egg? Wow! I think we might have stumbled on a Flightmare nest. Let's go out of here before she returns and thinks we're threatening its egg. Let's get back to Dragon's Edge!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" I said. I knew all about Flightmares and their ability to freeze you in place. That was not something I wanted to experience first-hand!

Luckily, we made it back to the Edge safe and sound. Astrid and I went over everything we discovered. Since the Scuttleclaws were the most prominent dragons on the island, we decided to name that place 'Scuttleclaw Island.'

"We need to adopt the mentality of the Scuttleclaw pack for the defense of Dragon's Edge," Astrid said. "Every one of us can't do everything. We need to specialize roles, so that we are all pitching in on different tasks to protect our base."

I nodded. "Makes sense to me."

Astrid smiled. "Thank you for your help, Brennda. I couldn't have done it without you by my side!"

I grinned. "That's what I'm here for!"

Astrid peered over the edge of her balcony. Then she glanced at me with a smirk. "Looks like Harald's back."

I flushed. "Oh, uh..."

She pushed me towards her stairs. "Go and have some fun... and then you can talk."

I swallowed hard. "R-Right." I still had no idea what I would say, but I would try.

I did have a nice time with Harald. Yet, it was only in the evening when we walked together along the Edge, hand-in-hand, that I finally got up the nerve to talk to him. The forest was was silent. All I could hear was my pounding heart.

"So, uh, Harald," I began without looking at him. I swallowed hard. "Do you know where you will go once you... leave here?"

He did not respond at first, and I dared not look at him. "I have an idea, yes," he said in a guarded tone.

I took a deep breath. "Somewhere... far from here?"

Harald stopped walking. He tugged my arm, forcing me to face him. "Brennda..." He tried to hide it, but I could see the pain in his eyes. "I have plans. I've had plans for a long time. I can't just change them on a whim."

I lump formed in my throat. This was exactly what I had feared. "I - I know. And I'm not asking you to, I just -" Words failed me. It was time to take a chance and just be straight with it. "I've come to care about you... a lot... and I don't want you to just leave, and... I never see you again."

"You will see me again," Harald said firmly. "I just don't know... the circumstances." Sadness leaked through his tough exterior. "I'm sorry, Brennda. I care about you too. I just -" He stopped and gazed off into the distance. "I don't want to make any promises I can't keep."

I could understand that. It was better than hearing him lie to me. Still, something seemed very off. He was clearly troubled, and it had to be about something more than an uncertain future. "Harald... are you alright?"

He looked back at me with a fake smile plastered on his face. "Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?"

I gave him a skeptical look. "Come on, you can't fool me. Something is bothering you."

His smile fell. "Yes, well, that is for me to worry about."

I frowned. "Maybe I can help."

He shook his head. "No. You can't solve every problem, Brennda. Especially not this one." He let go of my hand and took a step back. His coldness hurt.

"I could try. I just want to help."

He gazed at me with a mixture of emotions in his eyes. "You can't help me with this. No one can help me." He turned around and started back down the path.

"Harald!" I called after him, my heart pounding in my chest. Why did it feel like I was already losing him? "You can trust me!"

But he said nothing as he continued to walk away from soon. Soon, I was left alone in the dark.

Astrid assured me that Harald's behavior had noting to do with me. I was sure she was right. I did not take it personally, but it hurt that he did not want me to help him. That night, I fell into an uneasy sleep.

After feeding Bolt the next morning, I walked out of the stables and nearly ran into Harald. "Oh!" I said. "Hey."

"Hey." His expression was guarded again, but his small smile almost seemed real. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." I walked past him and started for the trail that led into the woods. We walked in silence, and my mind buzzed with possibilities. Once we were clearly alone, I stopped and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry about last night," Harald said. I noted the sincerity on his face. "I've been wrestling with a big decision, and I took it out on you."

I smiled slightly, feeling relieved he was not mad at me. "I figured it was something like that. I'm more worried about you. I know something's wrong, and I wish you could trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you. I just... I can't get you involved in my problems."

I took a step closer to him. "I want to help you, Harald, but I can't if you won't confide in me."

He stared at the ground for a long time. When he finally lifted his head, he had a dead-serious look on his face. "Do you believe in fate?"

I blinked. "Fate? I suppose it depends what you mean by that. I don't think everything is predetermined, if that's what you mean."

"No, I would not go that far, but... After a certain point and after we make a certain number of choices that lead us down a certain path, do you believe we are stuck on that path for life? We can have successes or failures along that path, but we can't change paths?"

I did not even have to think about this one. "No. Once you start down a path, it might be difficult to change course, but there is always away. You always have a choice. To deny that is to deny our humanity."

Harald gave me a bitter smile and glanced at the ground again. "I see."

"Do you believe in that kind of fate?"

He met my steady gaze. "Yes. And we... are on different paths that should not cross. That is why I reacted the way I did last night."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What kind of 'different paths' could we possibly be on?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't tell you that, love." He looked off to the side, seeming to gaze at something only he could see. "These past couple of weeks have been a break for me, and under normal circumstances we would not have met. There are things that you don't know about me. Things that will prevent us from being together."

Realization hit me, and I shot him a glare. "Hey, wait a second! You are the one who barged into my life uninvited! You can't just make me like you and then say we can't be together! It's not fair. You had to know this when you went after me."

Harald looked at me with a sad smile. "Yes, I know. And I'm sorry about that. I was just looking to have a good time with a new friend. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never thought it would get this far. If I had known -"

"You would have left me alone?"

He looked away again. "I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath. Despite my pain and confusion, there was one thing I knew for certain. "I'm not."

He turned to me, startled. "You're not?"

I gave him a defiant look. "No, I'm not. Even if the worst happens and we never see each other again after you leave, I won't regret a thing because these have been some of the best days of my life. I don't want to forget the time I spent with you or the way I feel. I wouldn't give this up for anything. So, don't you dare say you're sorry for liking me."

Harald closed the distance between us and placed a hand on my cheek. "I'm not sorry for liking you," he said softly. "Never think I regret the time I spent with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Never forget that."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his head down until his forehead rested against mine. "Then why can't you fight for me? Fight for us?"

The pain in his eyes killed me. "I would if I thought there was a way... but I can't stay with you, and my path is not one you should walk."

"And what path is this?"

He pulled back a little, moving his hands to my hips. "I'm sorry."

My eyes flashed in frustration. "Will you quit apologizing unless you can tell me why you're sorry? What is it you don't want me to know?"

He cast his gaze to the ground. "If I told you, you wouldn't look at me the same way."

"You're wrong." I touched his cheek, causing him to look at me. "I don't care what you've done or who you think you are. Nothing can change the way I feel about you." As I said it, I knew it was true.

For the first time that day, a genuine smile crossed his lips. "Thank you, Brennda. I'm not convinced it's true, but that means the world to me."

"Then will you tell me what you're hiding?"

His sad gaze returned. He let go of me and pulled away from me. I let my arms fall uselessly atmy sides. "Our time together has been like a dream - a fantasy I don't want to end. If I tell you what I am, that dream will end, and I'm not ready for that. I want us to continue to live each day in the moment... just a little longer. Because you will soon learn the truth, and once you do, you'll wish you hadn't."

I stared at him for a long time, thinking it over. There was no way I was giving up so easily. Still, I could not let my concern for the future ruin the time we had left. And perhaps, in time, I would figure out how to convince him he was wrong. I was not letting him leave without a fight.

"Alright," I said. "For now, I'll agree to your terms. But this is not over, you hear me?"

A smile flickered on his face. "I hear you loud and clear. And, believe me, I want you to be right."

"Then I'll figure out how to prove it for both our sake."

Harald chuckled. "I am sure you will give it your best. If anyone can do it, I know it is you. Now, shall we go find something a little more fun to do?" He held out his hand to me.

I grinned and linked our hands together. "I'm always ready for fun!"

"Let me get this straight. He can't stay because he has big plans, and they do not include you?" Astrid looked at me incredulously as I told the story back in her hut. I left out the personal details, of course.

"Pretty much," I said.

Astrid rolled her eyes. "Men. Did you tell him love doesn't happen according to a plan?"

I felt myself blush. Love? "N-No. Besides, it's more complicated than that. He implied there's some big secret that would change everything if I knew."

Astrid raised her eyebrows. "A big secret? What is he, a dragon hunter?"

I flinched at the image. "No, of course not."

"I'm kidding. It's probably not that serious. Boys are so dramatic."

"Yeah." I was not so sure though. Something itched at the back of my mind, like I had clues to the puzzle that I just had to put together.

"Do you want to know what I think is going?" Astrid said, breaking me from my thoughts.

I nodded. "Yes, please."

"I think he's scared. Remember what you said during your chess game about women handling losing their man better than men losing their woman?" She smiled triumphantly. "I think you were exactly on point. I bet he didn't plan to get this close to you, and now that you've bonded, he's frightened like a little kid."

I frowned as I considered the possibility. It seemed plausible enough. "So... what you're saying is... he's running away because he's scared of losing me? That makes a whole lot of sense."

Astrid shrugged. "Male logic. Leave you before you leave him, right? I doubt he's thinking of it that way though. Men have a talent for making their stupid actions look noble."

"That sounds about right." I paused. "Has Hiccup ever tried anything like this?"

"Well... When I first found him with Toothless, they were about to run off together."

My eyes widened. "Really?"

"And then when Stoick found out about Toothless and dragged him off to find the Red Death, his first instinct was to give up."

I frowned. "That doesn't sound like Hiccup."

"He's grown up a lot," Astrid agreed. "Strong emotion can cause any man to revert back to that immature behavior."

"Then what do you think I should do? Harald wants to focus on the present and enjoy our time together."

"Good. Do that. If you get even closer, it will be harder for him to leave."

"And if that doesn't work?"

Astrid clasped my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. "Tell him straight out how you feel. And make him tell you everything. If the truth doesn't change anything, let him know it. Lay it all out on the line. Figure out what you believe and don't give in."

I took in a deep breath. "Alright. I think I can do that. Thank you, Astrid. It's nice to have someone to talk to about this."

She grinned. "That's what girlfriends are for. Good luck, Brennda. You can do it!"

"I sure hope so..."

Why did it feel like we were on the edge of a dangerous storm?

A/N: Well, she's been warned...