Chapter 5

Pushed to the Limit

A/N: Oh, how I have missed this story and all of you. I'm so happy to be getting back into this. To all of you still reading, I appreciate all of your support. But, it's been long enough so I won't babble on. Let this adventure finally continue! Love you guys!

(March)

Everything still seemed to be going Roy's way for the most part.

Except for the whole, 'dying' thing.

Even though Roy knew he was living on borrowed time, he still felt himself being hopeful. The trust he had in his boys was vast, and those two sure had the will and determination to save him. It just bothered him that he didn't know where they were. The boys just up and left two months ago before Roy could get briefed. There had to be a reason why they hid it. Maybe they knew that if he did know where they were, they could be targets, or he himself would try to get them to come home for one reason or another. But when it came right down to it...

Roy believed in his boys.

Thankfully, he still felt the medicine Evans gave him working. One of his attacks hadn't flared up since he'd started taking it. Without the pain constantly reminding him of the death that awaited him, it allowed him to let himself get even closer with Riza. There were still feelings deep down inside that he needed to push her away, but it was as if the medicine cleared up his depression too.

Pushing her away was pointless—they both knew that.

So, he had called her to his office, for there was an urgent matter the two needed to discuss.

A little while after he had summoned her, she was knocking on the door and then stepped inside. "You called on me, sir?" She asked with a salute.

"I did." Roy said with a warm smile, coming from behind his desk and walking to her. "I have my first mission for you as Fuhrer."

Riza nodded, there was never a mission she wouldn't accept from him. "Of course. What are your orders?"

"It's a mission in June—late June." He told her.

Riza smiled and narrowed her eyes a bit. "That's around the time of the military ball."

"Exactly." He said. "It's where I'm going to be officially sworn in as Fuhrer, and as you can imagine, I'm going to need a bodyguard there with me."

Riza still wasn't thrilled about Roy being Fuhrer. If she could, she would make him step down immediately. However, he did seem to be back to himself the past couple months.

Roy noticed her face flicker a little when he mentioned his status, but he continued on. "That's where you come in." He said.

"Understood." She said firmly. "I'll be your protective detail for the ball."

"No." Roy said, shaking his head. "I want you to be my date and use all this 'bodyguard' stuff as a cover."

Riza blushed at Roy's bluntness, and she felt him take her hand.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, will you please be my date/bodyguard at the inauguration ball?" he asked, still smiling at her with eyes that made her weak.

Taking a flirtatious step closer to him, she said, "Is that an order?" Her voice was sultry.

Roy's grin widened. "Let's just say it's in your best interest."

Riza shrugged playfully. "Then it looks like my hands are tied."

Roy laughed. "That sounds about right, that's where my dates usually end up." he joked, Riza blushing further, grinning as much as he was.

Riza was giggling. "Then, yes, Fuhrer Mustang. I shall be your date/bodyguard at the ball."

Their moment was ended when the two heard a woman clearing her throat loudly. The two quickly released one another's hands. From where they were standing, no one should have been able to see anything.

"General Armstrong!" Roy said, feigning joy to her appearance. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Am I interrupting something?" She asked, sounding her usually annoyed self.

"Not at all." Riza said with complete composure. No one would have ever suspected that they were up to something. "I'm just to be the Fuhrer's protective detail at his inauguration ball."

"I see." Armstrong replied. "Lieutenant, I need to speak to Mustang alone for a moment."

"Of course." Riza said, saluting the two of them, seeing Roy shoot her a sweet and subtle wink before she made her exit and closing the door.

Roy settled back into his desk chair. "What can I do for you General?"

Armstrong sat in the chair across from him, she was holding what appeared to be more paperwork in her left arm. "I'm here to ask you some questions about King Bradley."

A twinge of fear found its way in the back of Roy's throat. "What about him?" He asked, his voice cracking.

Damn it!

The General's face didn't change, and it was frightening. "I want to know why you burned him to death and then tried to revive him with human transmutation."She said, jumping right to the point.

Damn, this woman didn't mess around.

Roy swallowed anxiously and tried to keep his voice from cracking again. "You think that I murdered Bradley? That's rich. I wasn't even there when he was killed, I was in the hospital fighting off the poison Fullmetal used on me."

"Then how and why was your blood at the scene, Mustang?" She said coldly, sliding the file of papers across the desk to him.

In the file was all the DNA evidence that it was, in fact, Roy's blood at the site where Bradley fell, and also the spot where Roy had performed the ultimate taboo with his blood.

Roy suddenly felt breathless as he peered through the file. "How did you find all this?"He asked, more serious now.

Armstrong crossed her arms. "Because you're shit at covering your tracks, Mustang." She said. "So, you killed the Fuhrer, regretted it and then tried to bring him back with human transmutation?" She asked, "Is that the case? Or did something else occur? How are the two connected?"

Roy sighed and put down the papers. "The events are unrelated, they just happened back to back." He told her. "I didn't perform human transmutation on Bradley."

"Then who was it for?"

Roy looked down with saddened eyes. "Fullmetal."

Armstrong narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Why? Was he hurt or something?"

"No." Roy said firmly, bringing his eyes to hers. "He was dead."

"And you think Bradley had something to do with it?"

"No. I know he did." Roy stated. He had shot Fullmetal and Greed with Philosopher's Stones and made them do his bidding. He used it to manipulate them somehow, the two were just two pieces in his sick game. He made Fullmetal want nothing more than to kill me, and the kid wasn't going to stop until he did." he said sadly. "Then...Fullmetal, he..."

"What did he do, Mustang?" Armstrong asked, sounding almost consoling.

Roy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, he hated reliving this moment, he never wanted to remember it again.

"Roy, it's okay. You can tell me." the General told him. She was using his first name now, and her voice sounded softer than he had ever heard it.

Roy sighed once more. "Fullmetal killed himself."

Armstrong looked baffled. "What? Why would he do that to himself, not to mention Alphonse?"

Roy brought a hand to his head, starting to feel a headache coming on. "Because the kid was terrified he'd succeed in killing me." He explained, staring down at nothing. "He'd said he didn't want to lose anyone else, so before that could happen, he took himself out of the equation."

"And you're certain Bradley was the one who brain-washed him and Greed?"

"Yes." Roy answered. "You know Fullmetal, he wouldn't use suicide as a way to get himself out of a mess so easily, not with so much he's endured and how much he loves his little brother. But he felt is was his only option, he couldn't live with himself if he took a life—much less mine."

Armstrong was still trying to wrap her head around all this. "So Bradley orchestrated all of this."

"Oh no, he isn't just Bradley, General, he's the homunculus known as Wrath."

A startled gasp left the General and her eyes shot open. "Bradley was a homunculus all this time?" She asked, not just to Mustang, but to herself. "How the hell did we miss all of this happening?"

Roy looked at her. "Because he's smart. He knows every pawn on his board and where exactly to move them. He figured that if he found a way to kill me, then I couldn't replace him as Fuhrer. Pretty damn ironic, huh?"

"Tell me what happened once Fullmetal perished." She asked, clearing her throat.

"I lost it." Roy admitted. "I knew that he was the reason that Fullmetal resorted to suicide, so I burned the fucker alive." He voice was dark and deep. "You didn't find any remains of him because I didn't leave any to be found."

"I see." Armstrong said, still seeming to be shocked.

"So what now?" Roy asked, accepting of his fate. "Am I arrested? Sent to hang?"

Armstrong looked him dead in the eyes. "My lips are sealed."

Roy gave the woman a 'yeah right' sort of look. "Really? You're not going to tell anyone?" He said sarcastically. No way she was telling the truth.

Leaning forward, Armstrong had a stern, yet sincere look on her face. "Not only won't I tell anyone...I'm going to help you cover it up."

Roy felt his eyes narrow.

What was her angle?

XXXX

Edward screamed with effort, his blond hair soaked with sweat, using all the power he had. Before him lay the femur bone of an long deceased animal. It was in two halves and Ed was tasked with connecting the two to make them whole again.

"Come on, Edward!" Lee cheered him on."You can do this! Concentrate!"

Edward summoned all the strength to try and fix the bone. Green electricity flickered around his hands and the remnant of the animal. However, after a few seconds, his alchemic light faded and flickered out completely.

Edward fell forward onto his hands and was panting heavily. Alphonse was soon at his side, patting his back.

"Brother! Are you okay?" Alphonse cried. "Maybe we should stop for the day!"

Edward raised a hand, back and chest still heaving, his lungs desperate for more air. "No, I can keep going. I just need to catch my breath."

"No." Lee interjected. "Alphonse is right, we need to wrap things up for the day."

Edward shook his head. "I'm fine you guys." He insisted. "Please, I know I can keep this up."

Lee took a knee to get down to Edward. "Remember what I said, son. This isn't about raw, physical strength. Your mind and body have to be focused and at ease." He said, handing Ed a bottle of water. "Look how far you've come in only a month. You'll get it. These things just take time."

After drinking nearly half of the bottle of water, Ed finally spoke. "I know that you're right. I just don't want to do this any way but perfect."

"And you're making excellent progress. You just can't give up." Lee told him.

Finally breathing easier, Ed smiled and looked to his little brother. "Not in a million years, right Al?"

Alphonse nodded. "Right! We can get you back at it in the morning once you've gotten some rest."

Edward nodded back to him with a smile.

That night Ed was settling into bed. Falling asleep after a day of training was never difficult for him. Lee wasn't lying when he said healing alchemy was hard on the user. Ed seemed to feel more drained than the day before. But he knew he could handle this, he knew he could do this. Failure wasn't an option.

Before he fell asleep, Edward found himself laying in his bed, arms behind his head, just staring at the ceiling in thought.

"Al, can I ask you something?" He said.

"Sure, Brother." Alphonse answered.

"You're...okay with putting off getting our bodies back for this, right?"

"Of course, Brother." Al replied. "Colonel Mustang is like our dad, come think of it, ever since we met him he has. Sure, he can be a little rough around the edges, but so can we. You especially seem close with him."

Edward pouted and blushed. "Do not."

"There isn't anything wrong with that." Al told him. "It isn't a sign of weakness to admit you care about somebody, in fact, I think it's braver to tell people how you really feel about them instead of trying to hide it."

"Maybe." Edward answered. "I guess it's just that...I'm not used to caring about anyone besides you and me. For so many years its just been you and me, and it's hard for me to break that." Edward looked over to his brother. "You know that you're always my top priority, right Al?"

"I do know that, and you're mine too, but now someone we love is in trouble and you have the power to do it. It's fallen to you to save our dad, and I'm here to help you every step of the way."

Edward smiled. "That's the first time you called him 'dad' around me."

"Yeah." Al said with a little embarrassment. "It was the first time it felt right. I mean, think about it. We had no one and nothing, and he took us in and looked after us. Made sure we were clothed and fed. He didn't have to do that, Brother. Come on, we do tend to be...rambunctious. Some more than others." He giggled, looking at Ed.

"Psh, I'm not the one constantly scaring the crap out of people with loud clanging noises."

"Touche, Brother." Al conceded. "Now that we're talking about it, I think that since we lost both of our parents, equivalent exchanged decided to give us another one."

Edward's mind was blown. He had never thought of it that way. Sure, they had lost their mom because they had performed human transmutation, but there was no discernible for them to of lost their father too.

"I never thought of it like that." Edward said.

"It wouldn't be very equivalent if we lost the Colonel now."

"That's right, Al. That's why we can't fail this, why we won't fail this." Ed replied, feeling full of hope. "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm turning in." He turned to his side and waiting for sleep to consume him.

"Sleep well, Brother." Al said.

"And Al?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

If he could, Alphonse would be smiling at his brother. "You're welcome, Brother. I love you."

Edward's response was a loud, obnoxious, clearly fake snore. Alphonse just giggled in response. That was 'Ed' for 'Yeah, yeah I love you too, now enough of this corny crap'.

XXXX

Edward was tossing and turning in his sleep. A nightmare no doubt. Whimpers left his mouth and beads of sweat formed all over his body.

In Edward's dream, he saw him, Alphonse and Mustang. They were all happily playing in the snow, much like their snowball they had not that long ago. They were all covered in snow, laughing and carrying on. No worries seemed to plague them.

But this moment's reprieve was soon squashed.

Roy took a knee and was grabbing his chest, groaning loudly. Edward made a beeline for him. The boy gently lay his Colonel down.

"Just hang on, okay! I can heal you!" Edward cried, clapping his hands together and pressed them to Roy's chest. Faint green light flickered around the Colonel's body and then abruptly faded, causing Roy to scream out in agony.

Edward felt himself panicking. "I'm so sorry! I can do this, I promise! Just stay with me, okay!" Then he closed his eyes and tried to focus and center himself just as Lee had said. And then he tried again, clapping, faint light...

And his father screaming.

Edward was feeling his efforts now. He fell forward a bit, fighting to be able to breathe. He held up his shaking hands to look at them. Why wasn't it working!? One hand was all he could muster to put on Roy's chest, but no alchemy came out.

"Please don't die." Edward said weakly as he kept hitting his hand on his dying father's chest. "Don't leave me."

Suddenly, dark and ominous clouds filled the sky and the heavens seemed to open up to reveal none other than Truth.

"Year's up, Fullmetal Alchemist.' Truth said with some sort of maniacal enjoyment. Hundreds of tiny black arms shot out of the being and darted for Mustang. They all merged into one and became a large black, pointed mass. This mass then rammed Mustang right through the heart.

Roy let out something of a death gurgle, blood spitting from his mouth. "Ed...ward..." He choked out before his body went limp and his eyes vacant.

Edward's eyes filled with tears as he watched more hands come and grab Roy, Truth taking him away. Using what little strength he had left, he managed to make it to his feet in a feeble attempt to run after them.

"No! Please don't take him away! He's my dad! Please don't take him away!" Edward screamed at the top of his lungs. Then he felt someone grab onto him—Al most likely—and pull him back. He fought against it but he was too weak to do it. So he struggled to no avail. "Let go! Don't take him! I have to try again! I know I can bring him back!"

"Stop, Brother!" He heard Al's voice call out. "You have to snap out of it!"

Edward couldn't bring himself to speak anymore, he just let out a loud, mourning roar.

The next thing Edward had realized was he was looking up at Alphonse, who was shaking his shoulders and begging him to wake up. His eyes shot open, they were red and filled to the brim with tears. For a few moments, he was confused, but looking around, he remembered he was in bed at Dr. Lee's house.

"Oh thank goodness you woke up!" Alphonse cried. "I've been trying to wake you for a long time!"

"Wake me up?" Edward asked in confusion, he sighed with relief, bringing his hands to his head. "A dream. It was just a stupid damn dream."

"Are you okay, Brother?" Al asked, uneasiness still hard on his voice.

Edward didn't verbally respond right away, he just clung to Alphonse and held him tight. Alphonse just hugged his brother. He often held Ed when he had bad nightmares like this, he tended to have them a lot. Undoubtedly due to all the trauma they've been forced to take in.

"He died." Ed finally answered in a soft, shuttering voice. "He died right in front of me." He said, burying his head deep into Al's metallic chest armor.

"Dad you mean?"

Edward just replied with a scared whimper.

"Yeah, I know it was. You talk in your sleep sometimes." Al told him.

"What if I fail, Alphonse?" Ed asked, his voice now obvious to the fact that he was crying. "What if I can't save him?"

"You won't fail, Ed. I just know that you won't. You just have to trust me, and yourself."

A small sob was heard from Edward. "I'm scared." He said. "I'm so scared I'm going to fail.'

"I know you are." Al told him, his voice comforting. "But it isn't over yet. You still have some time." He patted his brother's back. "It isn't over yet." He said again. "Would you feel better if you called him?"

Edward shook his head instantly, it was clear this thought had occurred to him before. "No. I can't."

"Why?"

"Because if I call and they tell me that something already happened to him, or if he sounds sick...I just couldn't handle it."

"What if he sounds fine?"

"I can't take that risk." Edward said. "Please don't make me call, Al." he begged.

"Don't worry, I won't. I get what you mean."

Edward broke away from Alphonse and lay back down in his bed, covering his head with his pillow. From underneath it, Alphonse could hear him crying and sniffling.

"Don't let one nightmare set you back, Brother." Alphonse told him. When he heard the door open, he stood to see Lee standing in the doorway, waving him over. The two left the room, leaving the door open a crack so Al could hear if Edward needed him again. The two then went to take a seat at the kitchen table.

"I'd offer you tea, but...given the circumstances..."Lee said uncomfortably.

Alphonse chuckled and rubbed the back of his helmet. "Haha, it'd just be a waste, huh? It's okay, I was never really into tea anyways. I always would drink cocoa before all this."

Lee smiled at the boy. "It's amazing how well you've adapted to your situation. You seem very cheerful despite all of this." The doctor was impressed by the kid.

"That's because I truly believe that Ed and I will get out bodies back someday." Al replied.

Lee nodded warmly. "I believe you will too." He said, clearing his throat before he changed the subject, his voice fell serious. "Does your brother usually have nightmares like that? Although, that seemed more like a night-terror than a nightmare."

"Brother tends to have them when he's under a lot of stress." Al told him.

"I see." Jacob answered. "Has he ever considered medication to help him sleep?"

Alphonse shook his head. "No. Brother hates medicines. He prefers to just power through things on his own."

Lee interlaced his fingers. "Alphonse, your brother has been traumatized. By this, and everything else that's happened in your past."

"Oh..." Alphonse said, his voice falling. "You think that all of these events caused him to have an emotional break?"

"I do." Lee told him. "Night-terrors are very rare. When they do happen, it's usually to infants or those with PTSD. Now, I'm not saying he necessarily needs to be medicated or anything, but he does need to talk to someone."

Alphonse sighed. "That may be difficult. Brother doesn't discuss his feelings with anyone, not even our dad. Only me, and it's rare when he does."

"These night-terrors will only continue to get worse until he learns how to express and accept his feelings." Lee said.

"But if he saves our father, then the nightmares will stop."

Lee shook his head. "No they won't. Even if the source of the stress is resolved, he still experienced it. It's like if someone is mugged in an alleyway and stabbed in the arm. If the culprit is caught and put away, and all the person's belongings are returned, it doesn't make his wounded arm feel better. And they still have the trauma of the encounter."

Doctor Lee had made an excellent point. Edward never had any nightmares back when their mother was alive. Now, he seemed to have them nearly every night.

"What about you, Alphonse?" Lee asked. "You should probably talk to someone too."

Alphonse shook his head. "No. I'm really okay. I'm not under as much stress as Ed is. I long accepted what happened to us, but he doesn't. He thinks all of this is his fault. He takes all the burdens on himself, especially when it comes to me, he refuses to let me take responsibility too. We both tried human transmutation, but Ed doesn't see it that way."

"Edward isn't beyond help. He just has to accept that he needs it." Lee said. A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Worst case scenario, let's say Edward fails and your father passes...do you think he would ever...harm himself?" Lee asked, the concern in his voice was clear.

"Do you really mean...do I think Brother would ever commit suicide?" Al asked.

"Yes."

"No." Al said confidently. "Brother would never do something like that. He swore to me years ago that he'd get our bodies back no matter what. Besides, he wouldn't just abandon me like our biological father did. Ed isn't that selfish."

Not long after the boys moved in with Doctor Lee, they had laid everything out on the table for him and told him all about Hohenheim and how he had just up and left them when they were still young boys. As far as those boys were concerned, Roy Mustang was their real dad, even if he wasn't their blood related one. However, the did keep from Lee what their father's name was. Lee may have taken them in to help, but if he found out it was Colonel Mustang, a man that participated in the war between Ishval and Amestris, he could stop helping them.

It wasn't a risk they were willing to take.

Just look at what Mustang was enduring just to make sure that they were safe. They owed him their lives as much as he owed them his own. Mustang knew the risks of when he performed human transmutation, yet he still did it anyway. Would Hohenheim make a sacrifice for them like that?

Absolutely not.

Edward stood by the door, secretly listening in on Alphonse and Lee's conversation. Al wasn't the only one that had decent hearing distance. Hearing Alphonse talk that way made him feel sick to his stomach. His little brother was certain that Edward would never submit to suicide and abandon him, but little did he know, Edward had already done that.

Edward had tried and succeeded in taking his own life.

Despite whatever reasons he had and as good as they were, the fact remained that he still did it. Looking down to his right automail arm, he saw he was shaking. For a second he saw it turn into a blade—they blade he used to kill himself. All this time he had been lying to Alphonse. He'd led him to believe it was Bradley that had taken his life, and sure, on some level he did, but Edward wasn't in the stone's power when he did it. Edward felt awful for keeping this a secret, but you know what?

He'd do it again in a heartbeat.