"Myrtle, what are you getting Eric for Christmas?" Laura asked as she opened their third bottle of wine.
"A baby," she responded, grabbing another slice of pizza.
"Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. What about you, Max?" Laura continued.
"Knock-off sneakers and Bulls tickets."
Laura thought for a moment. "Yeah, maybe I could do that. Get him an experience instead of a present."
"Girl," Max replied, "you could give Steve dirty laundry for Christmas, and he would be happy. Stop stressing."
"He does really enjoy washing my delicates," Laura giggled as she sat back on the couch.
"Oh, Lawd!" Myrtle complained. It was not fun being the only sober person in the room.
Max took the bottle of wine away from Laura. "Ok. You have officially had too much."
"It's Myrtle's fault," Laura complained, grabbing the bottle back.
"How is it my fault, you lush?!" Myrtle exclaimed.
Laura pouted. "You got me so nervous about all this childbirth stuff that I decided to drink until I was infertile."
"Not how that works," Max said, taking the bottle back.
Laura went to grab the bottle again, but then the door opened. She leapt up from the couch. "Steve!" she exclaimed as he walked through the door with a large bag tucked under his arm. She ran toward him, and he set the bag down just in time to catch her as she leapt into his arms.
"Woah!" he yelped as he caught her. "Hey there, Sugar Cookie. Someone's in a good mood, huh?"
Laura grinned as he set her down. She pressed her body up against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I am now that you're home, Candy Cane," she purred.
Steve felt a shiver run up and down his spine. "What's gotten into you?" he whispered as he noticed her odd demeanor.
"About two bottles of wine," she giggled.
Steve's eyes widened. "Oh, Sweetums. Why don't I get you some water, and you can go lie down?"
"How about I grab that third bottle, and we go lie down together?" she suggested.
Steve felt his member grow fully erect, and so did Laura.
She wiggled against him. "Mmm… I think the Grinch's dick just grew three sizes," she whispered in his ear.
"Laura!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her shoulders firmly and pushed her back. "Honey Buns, I'm gonna set up the tree!"
Laura pouted. "Fine," she frowned. She stepped away just as Eric and OGD walked into the apartment.
Steve picked up the small bag and began to pull out their tiny tree.
"Eric! OGD!" She ran to where they were standing in the door and hugged them both.
Eric pulled away quickly as he noticed Myrtle glaring at him. OGD wasn't quite so innocent.
"Cornelius!" Steve barked as his cousin got lost in the moment.
OGD put his hands up and released her.
Laura stepped back, giggling. "Your name's Cornelius," she teased, pushing him gently.
OGD grinned. "I have never seen this side of you."
"There's a lot of sides of me you've never seen," she teased, "not that you'll ever get to."
"Oooookaaay!" Max exclaimed. "Laura, say goodnight to Eric and Myrtle. They're going across the hall now."
Laura leaned into Max's neck and pouted. "Noooooo! Don't go!"
Eric helped Myrtle to her feet. "We have to, Darlin'," Myrtle said, patting Laura on the shoulder. She glared at OGD on her way out the door. "And you! Don't you think I've forgotten 'bout all that money you owe me," she hollered before slamming the door behind her.
Max rubbed Laura's back gently. "Why don't I put you to bed?" Max suggested, looking at Steve in concern. He was starting to look a little perturbed with flirty, drunken Laura.
"Noooo," Laura frowned. "I'm not done havin' fun!" she slurred. She stumbled back to the couch and picked up her glass of wine. She took a sip and finally noticed what Steve was doing. "Is that our tree?" she demanded.
Steve glanced at her. "Yeah," he nodded.
"Why's it so little?" Laura pouted, looking at the full, green, three-foot tree.
Steve frowned, concerned he had disappointed her. "Well, I drove the Isetta, Dear, so I couldn't get anything too big. Do you hate it?"
Laura smiled sweetly. "No, it's cute," she cooed, "like you."
Steve grinned back at her shyly.
OGD took a seat by Laura and poured himself a glass of wine.
When Steve finally had the tree standing, Max tapped his shoulder.
"Hey," she said softly, stepping close to him so they could speak privately.
"Hey."
"I'm sorry about her. I shouldn't've let her drink that much," Max said.
Steve shrugged. "That's not your job."
"Don't be too disappointed in her. Myrtle was talking about pregnancy stuff, and Laura got really freaked out. Otherwise, I'm sure she wouldn't've indulged so much."
"Oh," Steve said, furrowing his brow. "What kinda pregnancy stuff?"
Max put her hand up. "I do not want to relive that. I'm gonna head out, if you've got everything under control here."
"Yeah," Steve nodded. "Thanks, Max. You're good to drive?"
"Yeah. Thanks." She hugged Steve. "See you on Christmas Eve," she smiled.
Steve smiled back. As Eddie's date, she was coming over for Christmas Eve for the first time. "See you then!" he grinned.
Steve turned back to Laura and OGD on the sofa once Max was out the door.
"You're so much fun," Laura laughed, hitting OGD on the chest harder than she meant to. "I never get to let out my hood side anymore like I do with you."
OGD dabbed at the wine she had spilled on his shirt with a napkin. "Steve don't mind your hood side," he reminded her.
She looked back at Steve. He was looking at her like he was about to give her detention. "Yes, he does," she whined.
Steve rolled his eyes. He sat on the other side of her. "Sweetums, that's not true."
"Yes, it is!" she complained. "You don't like clubs. You don't like the clothes I wear clubbing. You don't like that kinda music. You just like it when we stay home and read. We might as well be from Vermont. You want me to have six babies and stay home in our Vermont log cabin to raise them and wash your drawers."
Steve frowned at her, but OGD jumped in before he could respond. "Steve, don't start an argument with a drunk woman," he warned.
Laura scoffed. "I'm not drunk! I'm just… happy," she giggled.
Steve raised his eyebrows and nodded knowingly at OGD. "You know what, Sweetheart... Why don't you and I go to bed and talk about this in the morning?"
Laura thought about it for a moment. Then she smiled at him seductively. "You said, 'bed,' but you never said, 'sleep'!" she exclaimed, standing quickly and grabbing his hand. She began to drag him back to the bedroom.
"Dream Cake, slow down!" Steve ordered.
She released his hand and turned to look back at him. "I'm going to bed," she announced. Then she walked back to their room, her hips swinging seductively in rhythm with her slow stride.
Steve looked back at OGD. "Quit staring," he scolded.
OGD kept his eyes trained on Laura's booty until she had closed the door behind her. "You heard the woman. Get back there!"
Steve rolled his eyes. "I can't do... anything with her like that! I'll give her five minutes, and she'll probably pass out."
"Brother, she is your wife, and she made it perfectly clear what she want. You don't have to deny yourself so long as she conscious. Not like you a stranger."
Steve stared longingly at the door. "No, it's still weird."
"What a shame," he complained.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Good night, Cornelius," he said, walking back toward the bedroom.
"Night."