Something Like That
Chapter Seventeen
The sound of pouring rain slowly permeated Derek's dream, rousing him into full consciousness. The alarm clock on his night stand cast a warm glow across his hands as he picked it up, squinting at the numbers. Was it early morning or late night? He found he didn't care either way as he dragged himself upright, gooseflesh breaking out across the surface of his skin when he swung his legs out of bed.
He could hear Rae's TV down the hall when he staggered out of his room, ignoring the chill creeping in from the floor. Scowling, he ran his hand through his hair as he made his way to her room, nudging open the cracked door, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dimness. She fell asleepwatching some anime movie, lots of bouncing breasts and censored nudity, and was lying face-down, her blankets tangled around a bent knee.
He closed the door soundly and ventured further into the apartment. The therapy session of Chloe and Rae spilling and trading their abusive boyfriend stories like little girls trading candy was far too fresh in his mind. Chloe, that delicate, petite little blonde who held her ground self-righteously in the face of his vicious wrath, had been torn apart and glued back together by Royce, the same one who'd driven Rae to needles and syringes and snorting lines off tables in seedy motels.
What a mess.
The kitchen was silent aside from the quiet ticking of the clock above the fridge and he filled a glass with water, taking a half-hearted sip. The cool liquid knocked away the last dregs of sleepiness and he knocked his head on the fridge as he leaned against it. Icy metal pressed solidly into the bare skin of his back.
He'd never known about Rae. He didn't know about what she went through with Royce.
Outside the rain continued, heavy sheets that slapped against the windows, window whistling and rattling trees. Lightning lit up the sky as he stood there, trying to make sense of everything he'd heard from both Rae and Chloe. He couldn't imagine anyone pinning her down and doing all that to her.
His stomach turned over at the mere thought of doing such a thing to anyone. And to lose that little life growing inside you so horrifically...He could feel bile start to rise, burn in his throat, and took a large swallow, closing his eyes. This had been about him in the beginning and now it turned into their stories.
Maybe it was time to share his.
His appointment was at three pm and he was anxious, his stomach flip-flopping with nerves. Like the last time, it would not be just him and Chloe; he'd quietly asked his siblings to sit in, so he could finally shed light on his dark past.
"Daddy, I have to go. I love you. Yes, I'll be there next Thursday. Bye."
Chloe's voice grounded him and calmed him like a balm, soothing his raw nerves, temping down his anxiety. He grasped the doorknob and the door swung open easily. Her office was bright and slightly cool, the AC kicking up behind her. Oh, he couldn't push the look on her face when he found out about Tori's betrayal—because that was what it was—and the pale, nauseous expression as Royce appeared from his mind.
She looked tired, rumpled even; her hair was pulled back into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder and her face appeared different; it took him a minute to realize she was missing her makeup. "Derek," she greeted with a slow smile that made his heart stutter, "Come in. Simon will be late, the usual, and Kari is on the way to relieve Tori. How are you?"
"I've been better. Tired," he managed to grunt, lumbering in and taking a seat, feeling his eyes boring into him. "Chloe, I had no idea...about—that. I met Rae right after I was discharged and we swapped terror stories but she never...not really." He couldn't speak after that, his throat tight.
Chloe fiddled with things on her desk, fidgeting."Sunny's doing better," she said after a long bout of silence. "That girl who quit coming here after her attempt."
Derek nodded. She had been so broken up that day, so over wrought with despair and agony.
"I thought about it. Just...ending it all. Leave all the pain behind, all the hurt and disgust and hatred and anger. I didn't though. I couldn't. I couldn't live with myself if I did, and my aunt and father couldn't take that," she murmured, her eyes still down-cast. The sun cast a soft yellow hue to the faded red streaks in her hair. "Derek, no matter what happens, please, if you feel like that is the way to go, please, don't hesitate to call me." She lifted her eyes suddenly, her blue gaze piercing him.
He had to look away. "I will."
The door opened and Tori shuffled in, curling up on the couch towards the side exit and watching them with large, dark eyes.
"When's the idiot coming?" she asked without looking up from staring at Derek.
Chloe sighed. "He's running late."
Tori snorted. "Shocker! I say we start without him," she grumbled, picking at her manicured nails. "He'd be late to his own wedding."
"I want him here, Tori. There's so much I haven't told you."
A pause. "Like why you went underground after you graduated and made Dad basically have a heart attack with worry?" she sneered.
Hesitating a moment, he nodded and then breathed a sigh that broke the quiet that had descended. "And I'd like to know why I was never brought up. Why I was hidden like a black mark and stuffed under the rug," he said long at last, his voice low and throaty, the words vibrant red with his anger.
Tori flushed all the way to her roots, her jaw set tight, and sat back with a low grunt, shuttering her gaze to the side. Her body language was wound tightly not unlike a coil and she picked at her nails nervously.
"We will unravel all that once Simon shows himself in," Chloe reassured the room; Derek's found his eyes swinging back to her, feeling his expression fall back into a scowl. Her smile faltered slightly and a slight color flooded her freckled cheeks, making the spots more pronounced than before.
The three fell into quiet, lifting a pen and scratching determinedly onto what appeared to be a memo-pad. Tori drew into herself. Derek closed his eyes and let memories wash over him, remembering everything. But all he could think of was Chloe.
He thought of the first time he walked through the door in her office and spotted her behind that ornate wood desk that seemed too large for her. She was unassuming in her work blouse and pencil skirt and sensible heels but it was her eyes that had taken him by surprise.
Blue like oceans he could drown in. And he wasn't certain he would mind it.
The door swung open and in stumbled Simon, grin fading when he took notice of the expressions. "Okay, who kicked Jacob?" he asked, referring to big chubby black lab.
"Derek, where would you like to start?"
Derek swallowed. "From the beginning."