Rose spent most of the day exploring the town of Chippewa Falls. She had to admit, she loved everything about it. The small-town feel, the fresh air, the small shops, and office buildings. The people were a lot friendlier than they had been in New York. They didn't even know her and would stop and say hello or start a conversation or just plain smile. It was the perfect place to live a simple life and to raise a family here. The perfect place for Cora.
It was late afternoon when Rose began to feel her feet begin to ache. She sighed, as she spotted the park where she and Molly had met Jack. Planning for this to be her last stop, she went and sat on a bench and closed her eyes, letting the warm spring air blow against her red curls. She had tried not to think about Jack anymore since that morning, but now that she wasn't exploring and was at rest, her mind went back to the memory of him kissing her hand on the grand staircase of Titanic. The vision was so clear. She could still hear the waltz. She could see just how blue his eyes were. The only thing she couldn't do was feel the press of his lips against her hand.
"Rose?"
She opened her eyes to find Jack standing before her, his portfolio tucked under his arm and his blue eyes warm and concerned staring down at her. He wasn't dressed in a tux, but he was still just as handsome as he had been then. Blushing, she made herself smile.
"Jack..."
"What are you doing here? Are you by yourself?" Jack asked. He was just getting off work and thought that an hour of drawing would clear his mind some. He had not expected to find Rose sitting on the bench with her eyes closed and a small smile on her lovely face. Seeing her there had made his heart beat in a way that it hadn't for the past two years and made his mouth go dry. He longed to wrap his arms around her and kiss her pink lips that he had missed so much, but he resisted the urge and remained standing. He had to keep reminding himself that that part of their relationship was over. He had Hannah now and he loved her.
"Yes. I spent the day exploring the town. It's quite lovely. The people here are so nice. I was just finishing up and decided to take a moment here and enjoy the last of the afternoon," Rose explained. "Are you just getting off from work?"
"Yes. I usually come here and draw some before heading back to the house. It kind of puts me in a more creative headspace, so I can tell Cora her bedtime story more easily. Kind of gets the creative juices flowing you can say."
"Oh. I hope I'm not disrupting you."
Jack chuckled and shook his head. He chuckled again, remembering on Titanic, how Rose had snatched his portfolio away in her outrage and was suddenly amazed and charmed by his work. It had been one of the few times that a woman had genuinely been interested in what he did and didn't just fake it just to get his attention. It was one of the things that made him fall for her.
"Is something funny?"
"Oh, I was just remembering the first time you had seen my drawings. You had been so mad at me, but all of that had melted away the minute you saw my work. Then we had begun to talk about art and you were so interested. You really cared. You were so amazing," he blushed and looked away. "I'm sorry. I should let the memory come to you on its own."
"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you told me. Would it be too…assuming to ask to see some of your work now?"
"You want to?"
Rose eagerly nodded. The more time she got to spend with Jack the better. Plus, she really was curious about his artwork. Art must have been an interest of hers and it must have bonded her to Jack as well, with him being an artist.
"Okay, sure," Jack sat down and opened his portfolio to the first page, which was a picture of a sleeping Cora.
Rose gasped, entranced. "Jack...this is exquisite work. You've captured her so perfectly," She was. genuinely amazed.
"She's my favorite model and my muse. I can't stop drawing her. There's always something new to capture."
He turned the picture to a laughing Cora, hugging her favorite teddy bear, another of Lisa standing against the tree and Weaver working on something with a hammer. There were other pictures of people doing different, everyday things. Each work seemed to come off of the paper to Rose, each intricate in detail.
"Jack, you have a gift, you do. You see people."
Jack stared at her, the words drifting over him like a warm blanket. "You told me that before. When you had first seen my pictures on Titanic."
Rose looked up, her eyes wide and curious. "Really?"
Jack nodded. "It's probably just a coincidence though...unless you do remember."
Rose sighed and shook her head. There had been no new memories since that morning. She smiled and looked at Jack, realizing that he didn't know.
"I don't remember that, but I did have a memory this morning. I was walking downstairs and I had this flash of walking down a grand staircase. I was dressed up and you were at the bottom in a tuxedo and you kissed my hand and told me you saw it in a nickelodeon once and always wanted to do it. Molly said that really happened."
Jack stared not knowing how to react to this bit of news or how to feel. "It did! It was the first class dinner! You're remembering!"
"It was just one little scene, but...everything was clear. The waltz...the people all dressed up...you...the most handsome man in the room."
Jack blushed. "There were plenty of handsome men in that room."
Maybe, but in her eyes, Jack had outshone them all. "It was a nice memory, though."
"Yeah it is and there are more nice memories to come. I promise."
Rose just nodded, then frowned, remembering what had happened to Titanic and why she had her mental break. "But there are bad memories too, right?"
"Rose…of course. But we're here for you, Rose. We won't let you relive those memories alone, I promise. You can always come to me or to Molly," Jack reassured, feeling that there was a need to. He wanted her to know that there was nothing off-limits with him. He'll help her through all of it.
"I must admit, I am afraid. I know that it must have been bad..."
Jack took her hand in his and held it tight. "We had a saying, Rose. You jump, I jump. I have your hand and I won't let go. I made that promise to you when we met, you remembered that right? Well, I'm making it again. I won't let go. I got you, I promise."
A tear fell from her eyes and he gently wiped it away with his thumb, his eyes meeting hers. At that moment, they were sitting so close to each other, their faces inches apart, Rose wondered if he was going to kiss her. But to her disappointment, he cleared his throat and pulled away.
"Do you want to see Cora?" He asked, his voice nearly a whisper.
Rose blinked, taken out of the moment. She had hoped that he would kiss her. She smiled and nodded. "That would be great."
"Come. We'll go to the house now. Maybe you can even stay to see her to bed for the night," Jack got to his feet and held out his hand for Rose to take, relieved that he was able to resist the urge to kiss her that had come over him at that moment.
"Okay," Rose took his offered hand and stood up from the bench. She hadn't planned to see Jack at all that day, but she was glad she did. The more time spent with him, the better she felt and now that he had promised to be there for her, she was no longer afraid of the bad memories still ahead of her. As long as Jack was there, she'll be okay. She was sure of it.
…..
When they got to the Dawson house, Rose was surprised to find Ruth already there. She was seated on a love seat with Weaver Dawson, baby Cora was between them, playing with a baby doll that looked similar to the child's mother and grandmother.
"Mother? What are you doing here?" Rose asked.
"Oh, I've been here for quite a while. I saw this gorgeous doll in the window of a toy shop and just had to buy it for Cora. She loves it," Ruth happily explained, her eyes never leaving her grandbaby. "Mr. Dawson here was kind enough to let me see her and keep us company."
Jack arched a brow at his uncle, amused. It looked like he wasn't the only Dawson male that had a thing for redheads. "Uncle Weaver, that was nice of you."
"Well, you did say she could see Cora anytime. I didn't see a reason why you'd object. Plus I like the doll. It looks just like her."
"It does," Jack agreed, taking Rose's coat himself and hanging it next to Ruth's on the coat tree.
"Where is Molly?" Rose asked, looking around, expecting to see the other woman somewhere in the vicinity.
"Oh, she's back at the bed and breakfast. She said she had some business to take care of and it would take her all day."
Rose was settling down next to her mother when there was a knock at the door.
"I'll get that," Jack smiled, heading towards the front the door. He blinked in surprise to open the door to Hannah. Needless to say, he was indeed shocked. He hadn't been expecting to see her that day, especially since they agreed to wait to introduce her to Rose. "Hannah? What are you doing here?"
Hannah gave a wry smile and shrug. "I ran into Lisa at the market. She told me to come for dinner. That Cora missed me."
Jack sighed. He should have known that Lisa was up to something. She had not been shy about letting her displeasure about Rose's reappearance in their lives known. "I can't believe her."
"Oh! Rose is here, isn't she? I should have realized...I'm sorry."
"You're not the one that needs to apologize," Jack sighed, guilt beginning to build. After all, not even a full hour ago, he had been close to kissing Rose. How could he do that to Hannah, who had been the very picture of patience and understanding?
"Hannah, you're here!" Lisa suddenly was behind him and reaching pass him to grab Hannah and pull her inside. "Come in! Cora is going to be happy to see you! She's missed you. After all, you've been the closest thing she's had to a mother."
"Lisa!" Jack nearly yelled, hoping that Rose hadn't heard that last part. Her absence in Cora's life hadn't been her fault and he will not have Rose feel like she's in competition with Hannah when it came to Cora.
"What?" Lisa turned to look at her angry cousin, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Did I say or do something wrong?"
"Both. You've done entirely too much here."
"Maybe I should go," Hannah frowned, not liking the situation at all. She did not know what she had been thinking of accepting Lisa's invitation to dinner. Yes, she had missed little Cora as well as Jack, but she also knew Jack's situation here. She should have known better.
"No. No, you're here now and perhaps it is for the best that you meet Rose now. She's going to meet you eventually anyway," Jack sighed, feeling guilty for yelling, even though Hannah was not the target of his anger.
Nervously rubbing his hands together, Jack lead at the way into the sitting room, where everyone was gathered. "Hey look who's here!"
Rose looked up from Cora to see the girl walking alongside Jack. Just by looking at her and seeing how close she stood to Jack and how she looked at him, she could tell that she was someone important.
"Rose, this is Hannah. She's..."
"Jack's fiancee," Lisa interrupted, deciding not to let her cousin hide who Hannah was to them. In her opinion, if there was a choice to be made, Hannah was it. After all, she had been there for both Jack and Cora for the past year.
Rose blinked in shock. Fiancee? How could that be if they were married? She looked at Ruth, who also looked confused.
"Fiancee?" Rose looked at Jack as if asking for an explanation.
"Well...kind of. I mean, clearly we're not engaged because we're still married by law...but...yeah," Jack rubbed the back of his neck, again feeling like he had done something wrong. Technically, his relationship with Hannah could be considered cheating, but Rose had been gone for two years, without a word, abandoning both him and Cora! He had never really stopped mourning her, but could he really be blamed for moving on after two years?
"Well it's been two years and you were gone. Jack and Cora were abandoned, they had no idea what happened to you. Surely you wouldn't expect him not to move on eventually," Lisa spoke up, seeing the guilt written all over her cousin's face.
"Lisa, don't," Jack frowned.
"Well, it's true. You look guilty for having the gull to move on after being abandoned."
"She was sick and..."
"She's right," Rose spoke up, not wanting this to turn into an argument, as well as accepting the blame in what had happened. She had abandoned both Jack and Cora. She had no right to expect things to go back to the way they had been, whatever that was...for Jack not to have moved on after so long. In fact, he had made her no promises. He hadn't offered to return to his place as her husband. He had only assured her that they could be friends and that he'll allow her to be a part of their daughter's life and to help her with her memories. That was more than she deserved really. "I had walked away from our marriage and it's only right that you had moved on after so long. I understand."
"Well, I certainly do not," Ruth spoke up, somewhat outraged. This boy had been the reason that her original plans had fallen apart! Now with Rose's memories gone and the boy seemingly with someone else, it had all been for nothing!
"I don't think it is for you to understand, mother. According to Molly, you didn't like Jack anyway. So you should be happy," Rose got to her feet and turned to face the new woman in Jack's life. She forced a smile, trying not to feel jealous. This was the woman that now held the place she once held...the place she would still have if it hadn't been for losing her mind. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hannah. I do apologize for my mother."
"It is nice to meet you too. Jack has told me a lot about you. I am sorry about your circumstances. It is completely understandable," Hannah nodded, feeling very awkward. This was not how she had pictured her meeting with Rose to go. She didn't expect this sudden feeling of guilt to rise up, and she definitely had not expected the discomfort of Ruth's glare as well. The older woman obviously did not like her.
"So where does this leave my daughter, if you're off to marry this...girl?" Ruth questioned. "Surely you don't expect her to just step aside where Cora is concerned."
"I don't think that is any of your business," Lisa spoke up.
"Lisa girl, sit down and stay out of this," Weaver hissed.
"Rose is Cora's mother. Of course, I don't expect her to step aside. I promised to help Rose rebuild her bond with Cora and regain her memory and that's what I'm going to do. Just because some things have changed does not mean that I'm turning my back on Rose. I was her friend before I was anything else and I will always be her friend and she will always be Cora's mother. No matter what."
Ruth fell silent at this. She still wasn't happy with the recent revelation, but what could she do?
"Cora looks exhausted. Why don't you and Rose take her up to bed? Hannah can help me in the kitchen," Lisa sighed, beginning to feel bad for her part.
"That's a good idea. Rose and I do need to talk...alone," Jack nodded, taking Cora from Ruth. He walked over to Hannah and smiled. "Say night night to Hannah, Cora."
"Night night Han!" Cora clapped happily, oblivious to the tension among the adults.
"Good night, Cora," Hannah smiled, gently touching the child's blond curls.
"We'll be right back," Jack reassured before leading Rose to the nursery.
An awkward silence fell between Jack and Rose as Jack placed their daughter in her bed. Rose walked up and gently touched Cora's soft cheek and smiled at the child's soft giggle.
"What a sweet girl. Good night sweet Cora, "Rose sighed, trying to keep her mind on the child, trying not to think about the recent introduction of Hannah and what it all meant for her future.
Jack took a step back and remained quiet as he watched Rose with Cora. In a way, it was almost like she had never left. Like this was truly their life together. But she had left and even though this could have been what their life together could have been like...well it was something that could never be. Not now. What was really sad was that it wasn't even her fault. It was just...fate.
"She seems nice," Rose decided to make the first step into the much-needed conversation. There was no point in putting it off any longer.
"She is. Cora loves her," Jack sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
Rose sighed and turned to look at him, noting just how miserable he seemed. It was written all over him, the struggle. It was obvious that what they had together, what had conceived Cora, was still with him...but there was a new part of his life now as well. It was like a game of tug and war.
"Do you love her?"
"Rose..."
"It's okay that you do. I mean...okay I won't say that discovering that I was married to you and had your child wasn't a pleasant surprise, because it was. I mean what girl wouldn't love to wake up and discover that she was married to a very handsome, kind, talented man? But I understand. It's been two years. You had no idea what had happened to me. You had a broken heart and you needed to move on...for Cora's sake as well as your own."
"I wasn't trying to hide her from you. That was never my intention. I was going to introduce her to you eventually, when you were more used to me and Cora. I didn't want to overwhelm you with too much too fast. I mean, it seemed so much already, to find out that you have a husband and daughter and then to introduce you to your daughter's soon to be stepmother...not to mention having to deal with the memories of Titanic..."
"It is a lot," Rose chuckled with a shrug. "But I think I can handle it. It doesn't feel like too much. Not right now anyway."
"I also want to reassure you that I want you to be a part of Cora's life. You are her mother and I already see that bond forming again. Hannah's presence, it doesn't change that."
"I appreciate you saying that. I mean…I love her, even though I don't remember giving birth to her and I...lo...like you. I like you a lot, but I understand that what we had is over. I'm lucky to even have the offer of friendship after what I did."
"It wasn't your fault, Rose. You had been through so much...more than anyone should ever go through."
"You went through the same thing, but you didn't lose your memories. You didn't walk away from your life."
"Everyone is different, Rose. Let's not forget, we had different upbringings, even though you were far from the regular first-class girl. You were...something quite different."
"What was I like? What made me so different from other high society girls? I must have been a handful, judging from my mother's reactions."
Jack chuckled with a nod of his head. "You were a handful. For your mother and Cal, that is. I loved how different you were. It was what drew me to you. You were...fearless. Brave. Creative…idealistic...funny. Headstrong. You had this fire, Rose. A fire that I had never seen in any high society girl before. You were amazing."
Rose looked away with a sad sigh. "It's too bad that the fire seems to be burned out nowadays."
"Are you kidding? It's still there. It hasn't left. You may not have your memories right now, but that fire...that thing that makes you Rose, it's still there," without thinking, he took her hand in his and held it tight.
Rose looked up into an intense sea of blue and felt her mouth go dry. She knew then, she loved him. She was in love with him. It was an undeniable fact, but it was a fact that she couldn't act upon...not anymore. She had lost the right to love him.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry for hurting you...for putting you and Cora in a state of limbo for two years and having the gall to come back and..."
"Rose, don't. Don't be sorry. Again, it wasn't your fault. We've forgiven you a long time ago, ok. All we can do now is move forward and rebuild your bond with Cora and regain those memories. Everything else, it can wait."
Rose nodded, hating the tears in her voice, yet unable to help it. "How is it that you don't hate me, Jack? You'd have every right to.
"I could never hate you, Rose. I won't lie...when you left...when it was obvious that you hadn't been kidnapped, I tried to hate you. I did, but I couldn't. Not really. I didn't know what had happened to you, but I couldn't manage to hate you and now that I do know what had happened, I'm glad that I couldn't have ill will towards you. It makes this a lot easier, believe it or not."
"I deserve your ill will, but I'm glad that you don't have it and that it makes all of this easier for you somehow," Rose nodded, silently adding that it was far from easy for her, especially now, when she had realized that she was in love with him but could no longer have him.
"You don't deserve any ill will. You deserve to be happy, Rose. After all that's happened to you, all that you've survived. You deserve to be happy."
"Happiness...is that even possible?"
"Of course it is. You'll get there. We just have to get those memories back and sorted."
Rose just smiled and nodded as if she agreed, but silently she knew that full happiness would never be hers, not with how she was feeling towards Jack. Not when she knew that he had moved on and all she could ever hope for was his friendship.
