Conquering the Ambassador

by Harmonium-Kruger

Ayre Trevalyan is fearless in most things, and yet cannot seem to bring herself to tell Josephine exactly how she feels. Upon return from hunting a dragon, she is set upon by an awful sickness that brings the two of them closer. It also ruins a rug, however. (First Dragon Age story from me.)

19. Prayer for the Disillusioned

Prayer for the Disillusioned

Conquering the Ambassador

---

"She's dead. You killed her." Hawke's voice was shaky, and her entire body even more so as the mage paced before the broken and bloodied Inquisitor.

"She is not dead." Parthena sighed, repeating herself for what must be the fiftieth time. Morrigan had had to drag her back to their camp; Hawke had carried Julius and had been all the more affected for it.

Using blood magic… not favorable for her. Her only other charge she had tried it with had perished instantly; the infection of darkspawn blood having consumed them wholly. Honestly, the Inquisitor had a better chance of dying than anything else. She would just have to hope, and pray.

"If she dies-" Hawke collapsed to her knees in the coarse sand, clutching her head. "No, no, no… I can't do this again. I can't save the world, I can't-!"

"Hush, now." Parthena gripped her shoulders tight, kneeling before her fellow mage. "Hawke; focus." She gently shook the younger woman, ice staring into a shell-shocked gaze. "If she dies, she dies. I wouldn't dare ask you to take up a mantle that will crush you without mercy. If Julius dies, I will take that mantle."

"You would die as well." Morrigan piped up, idly reading a book as if she were simply bored at an afternoon tea. Honestly, these people and their dramatics.

"Yes. Thank you." Parthena's grave voice drowned in sarcasm. "I will die either way; Grey Wardens do not live long and I am nearly at my limit. But, if Julius dies, I will save Thedas once more-"

A sound slap ricocheted from Parthena's head to Hawke's, and the two of them hissed before glaring at Morrigan.

"Oh, do collect yourselves. The Inquisitor has been in contact with darkspawn blood before; you supplied it yourself you big buffoon." Morrigan narrowed her gold gaze on Parthena. "For her red lyrium sickness, if you would do so well to recall?"

Parthena opened her mouth to argue, but slowly shut it. "I… well, yes, but the blood never made direct contact to her own; it drew out the lyrium." Hawke whimpered now, and the warden commander tightened her grasp of her shoulders.

Morrigan sighed softly, as if discontent to continue this game. "As you say." She would let them continue to panic, returning to Julius' side to finish her reading.

The Inquisitor looked awful indeed; her own blood as well as Parthena's covering her front. Sunkissed skin was now paler than the moon on desert sands. Calpernia and her soldiers had escaped, what little of her small trapping party remained after their massacre.

Morrigan shifted her gaze from the book to Julius' body once more. No change for better or for worse, and that was the best news that could be given.

She was neither dead nor quite alive at this point; Morrigan would gamble her very soul was fighting with the veil for the Fade. If she entertained those ideals, of course…

Hawke had begun crying at some point, clutching all the more to Parthena. The eldest of them sighed softly, holding the distraught mage against herself. Even if she could save Thedas, without Julius, the morale of the Inquisition; of the world would fade away to nothing and she would have no one at her side to help-

"Argh!" All at once, Julius sat up and screamed; startling both Hawke and Parthena as Morrigan simply sighed.

"Tis about time you woke up-"

"-Get back, she could be infected." Parthena drew her sword before Morrigan, only to be pushed aside with surprising strength.

"Sit down. Shut up." Morrigan ordered, Hawke just dumbly gaping at the Inquisitor.

The witch of the wilds knelt beside their wounded friend, and deep faded eyes watched her with interest and curiosity.

"Did I die?" Julius finally spoke again, her voice raw. Parthena slowly calmed down, though realized what this meant with a cold sweat down her back.

She had conscripted the Inquisitor into the Grey Wardens… successfully.

"I believe maybe once or twice but who hasn't these days?" Morrigan dismissed the question, putting her palm to Julius' brow. There was warmth where there once was cold, and movement where there had been stiffness. Her eyes were worse than they had been at the Winter Palace; drowned completely in the cascading veridian of the Fade.

"I feel terrible." Julius managed to speak again, swallowing thickly and grunting in pain upon the action. A shaky hand lifted and was pressed lightly against her abdomen, but even the slight pressure made her almost buckle again.

"You should." Morrigan clicked her tongue, leading the Inquisitor to lay back down. Beneath the bloodied woman lay both Hawke and Parthena's cloaks, as they had worried that the ground would be too cold.

The two stunned women slowly began to calm, and Hawke started to maniacally laugh; Parthena jumping at the sudden intrusion of sound. "Makers hairy bloody balls! She's alive!"

"Thank the desert for that." Parthena sighed softly, leaning back to sit against her pack. She was exhausted from expending so much energy, and exhaustedly snaked a lyrium vial from a pocket to sip at.

"You have been exposed to darkspawn blood and are now a Grey Warden in all but true ritual conscription." Morrigan alerted Julius, and the Inquisitor sighed shakily.

"Parthena warned me that this is how I would atone for my past…"

"Yes, but I had hoped you would have died instead when I did it." Parthena admitted, shrugging. "Thedas would have been saved at the end, after all. Living past that would be a cruelty, especially as a Grey Warden. Yet there was no time, and you are cursed to live nonetheless."

"Are you okay?" Hawke had stopped cackling, and laid a hand on Parthena's shoulder. "I mean, I thought my life sucked, but you're kind of doom and gloom over here. Everything okay at home?"

"She has always been one for melodrama." Morrigan added to the teasing, and Parthena huffed softly.

"It is a half life we live and you know it."

"Perhaps there is a chance for a cure; haven't you been looking? With the Inquisition's staggering resources, I dare say you may find one."

"Yes… I remember I told you we would find one." Julius murmured, grunting more to Morrigan's ministrations. "Looks like the search just got more personal."

"Then if there is a cure to be found, we will indeed find it." Parthena nodded, relaxing once more as she closed her eyes.

Hawke moved to watch Morrigan, regarding the witch in more than slight fascination. "So, after this is all well and good, you'll teach me how to become an animal, yeah?"

"T'would be a helpful skill." Morrigan pretended to mull it over, quite enjoying the way Hawke squirmed waiting for an answer. "I suppose I could."

"Yes!" Hawke whooped, covering her mouth as her voice echoed throughout the desert.

"Shut up." Parthena growled over to her. "We may have won but I am too weak to defend your idiocy just yet."

"Sorry." Hawke gently whispered over, huddled with Morrigan as the witch focused on the hastily sewn together edges of flesh.

"Your blood magic needs to be sharpened." Gold cast to ice, and the warden sighed again.

"It's not something I would do again."

"Tis better that way." A gentler touch than she would accuse Morrigan of having met at Julius' very core; the scars of battle being reduced and less raised but remaining.

"Should we send a letter?" Hawke asked quietly again, looking between the three of them.

"...no. Morale is too low for my liking as it stands. No one outside of the four of us is to know about this." Julius ordered, feeling utterly drained.

"So it shall be." Parthena agreed, nodding. She scanned the horizon around them, but it seemed they were truly alone. "Let's rest… get back to our little 'hunting' expedition come morning. We do have resources to gather, after all."

"I think resting is all I can do." Julius sighed out, Morrigan finally done with the aftermath. The Inquisitor gazed down at her bloody attire, grip loosening over her stomach as the pain ebbed away. "I don't… hear anything. Isn't there something I should be hearing?"

"A false Calling, from Corypheus. I dare say you are stronger than the others, as I was. It shouldn't reach you." Parthena nodded, setting the vial away to lay back. "Careful with those dreams, though."

"Shite…"

—

To say a nightmare would have such a hold of her would be ridiculous. This was no terror in the veil between dream and wakefulness; this was all but a waking death at the hands of these merciless creatures so blighted by the Maker and any holy light. Darkspawn had never seemed so terrifying and yet so human; is this what happened to those Grey Wardens who lived so long? Did they ultimately become the creatures they sought to destroy if they didn't die fighting at the Deep Roads?

Blood frozen all around her as these creatures left absolutely nothing in their wake as they razed entire villages. Warlords still had some humanity, at least she had when she was one. When she was Ayre, Ire of the Red Marchers… she had left orphans and animals alive to starve to death. These creatures left not even fire behind; all life snuffed out and only the cold grasp of death in their shadows.

Julius thankfully woke, cold sweat sticking to her face and back. Everything was quiet still… If anyone else was awake, they were being silent about it. Shakily raising a hand to her brow, she used the heel of her palm to wipe sweat away. Cursing her usual lack of sleeves, Julius lay her head back and closed her eyes briefly. Exhaustion bit into the very depths of her soul and yet those nightmares… she would rather stay awake all her life than see them again.

Perhaps Parthena could help quell them…

"Hush now, t'is safe here. You're safe…" That was Morrigan's voice, but her gentle words were not directed at herself. Julius turned her head subtly, catching the witch embracing Parthena with the elder woman burying her face against Morrigan's chest.

It seemed even the strongest of them still was affected by such things… Julius watched them for a moment more, closing her eyes again. There seemed to be something between Morrigan and Parthena; something… odd. Romantic? Parthena has been given a ring from Morrigan, and if it were an innocent gift then why didn't Leliana know of it?

Leliana was too inquisitive to be lied to or to not know what was between them if there was anything and yet; here they were. Something was there.

There was a shifting noise in the coarse sand and Julius chanced another look; Morrigan gently laying Parthena back as the elder fell to sleep once more. Maybe calmed by a spell…

Harlow's boots twitched in the sand, catching both of their attentions. The Inquisitor feigned sleep again as Morrigan stood, the witch kneeling to Hawke's side.

"I swear no one truly rests anymore." Morrigan whispered tritely to herself, slipping an arm beneath Hawke's shoulders to pillow her head upon her own thigh. In the low flame of their campfire, Julius watched as comfort was given once more. This was… different from Parthena. This held more softness. Perhaps she was only imagining the witch and the warden held something deeper.

Or perhaps Hawke was just growing on Morrigan. Wouldn't that be something?

Amused if not comforted, sleep captured the Inquisitor once more.

—

If more nightmares came for her, she couldn't remember them when she woke up. Flaming hair was darker and matted with blood, and Julius felt the grime of sweat and grease on her face. They all desperately needed a wash, but to find water in the desert-?

"Fuck!" An ice cold cascade from a bucket slapped her awake and drenched her head. She would have sprung up were it not for a strong arm suddenly braced against her chest to hold her down.

"Harlow-!"

"It was an accident!"

Parthena huffed softly, taking a rag and cleaning up Julius' face at least. "Good morning, sunshine." She bit, but there was a ghost of a smile behind. "Sleep well?"

"Not at all, no." Being led to sit up, the Inquisitor held onto her stomach as the ache of soreness lingered. No worse pain, and it was as if she was only struck by a wooden sword. "I don't know how you haven't gone mad from those nightmares."

"Maybe I have." Parthena smirked, sitting back to wind her greying hair into a thick braid. She seemed clean; and the source was pointed out with Harlow seeming to try to blame Morrigan for the bucket.

"I did not say to spill it." Morrigan bristled, taking the bucket to fill once more with her staff. "Honestly, t'is basic magic. A child should know this spell."

"Children don't usually need to conjure their own water to bathe with." Hawke countered, though seemed utterly grateful for the new bucket. She began to strip immediately, and Julius averted her gaze with a soft chuckle.

"I see you two are getting along…" The Inquisitor tried to sit up again, and Morrigan planted a heel to her shoulder.

"As well as a Mabari and an Orlesian." The witch rolled her eyes, gold meeting swirling Fade. "Your gaze concerns me."

"What does that even-"

"Your eyes. They are Fade themselves." Morrigan fetched a handheld mirror; the pieces of glass cracked but seemingly mended back together.

"Oh. That is concerning." Julius took stock of her appearance; sharp cheekbones mottled by bruising and her eyes utterly dizzying. The mirror was pulled back and tucked away, and Morrigan checked her brow for a fever.

"T'is not anywhere you will adventure today." Morrigan finally decided after a moment, Hawke getting dressed again once clean.

"But-" "Don't fret; I'll keep you company here." Harlow happily offered, sitting by her again. "Phew… Morrigan, another bucket? I think the Inquisitor needs it…"

"I must stink." Julius huffed softly, attempting to roll away when Hawke reached for her armor to undress. She was stopped by Morrigan's heel once more, and Parthena chuckled; the eldest of them finally done braiding her hair.

"You cannot wash yourself and you must be cleaned to avoid infection."

"So summon a waterfall and just let me be." Julius tried to persuade, and Morrigan blankly stared.

"I would be a god if I could summon a waterfall out of the driest of sands in this desert. T'is only ice I filled this bucket with, melted by fire. Had you thought I filled it with water by itself?"

"...no?"

Morrigan stared down at the Inquisitor, tossing the bucket of water onto her and atop of her clothes. "Wish granted."

"Ugh…"

"You have to stop being insecure about your body." Harlow rubbed her shoulder, as if this was the only thing Julius could have possibly had reservations about. "You're fit."

"I think she just doesn't want to be nude in front of anyone but Lady Montilyet, Hawke." Parthena shook her head, a wry smile on her face. "Morrigan and I will gather some resources today; we'll need some meat and a few of the plants growing around here."

"Sounds great." Julius grit her teeth, Hawke grabbing the cloth to start cleaning her again.

"Would have been easier to just undress- She bit me!"

"Pray there is no infection." Morrigan dryly teased, no doubt the first to have bathed. She met at Parthena's side, crossing her arms. "Be good and stay here."

"Yes, dear." Harlow threw a grin her way, receiving a scathing sneer. "I think she's warming up to me…"

"Speaking of 'warm', my clothes are sopping fucking wet." The Inquisitor was clearly getting more and more agitated.

"And whose fault was that? Don't bite me again." Hawke warned, cleaning the redhead of the muck of sweat and blood. "Alright, so… lay very still." Tossing the rag into the bucket, Hawke closed her eyes and held her palms over Julius; flames gathering over the Inquisitor.

"This is- Hey, this is actually… super cozy. This is nice." Still wary of the flames lest they fall and light her aflame, Julius was gradually warmed and dried by the magic.

"See? So much better." Harlow dismissed the flames and shook her hands out, rubbing them together. "Think you can sit up?"

"If I try again I'm sure Morrigan will appear from thin air and step on me again…"

"Kinky." Hawke leaned back on her hands, sitting by the younger woman's side. She stared across the sandy horizon to the rising sun, humming softly. "You know, I thought you were dead. I thought you were going to die. I was scared… for myself. For everything."

Julius listened, frowning. "I know… it was stupid for fall for that trap… to chase Calpernia."

"It wasn't stupid. You know that's why we were here. It's why I was here." Hawke's voice lost all humor, and instead sounded tired yet sharp. The true face of the Champion of Kirkwall; a troubled mage with memories that haunted her.

"This woman, Calpernia… she took away everything that once mattered to you. Your mother, your father… your sister; Lilith-" Hawke jumped when her hand was grabbed, but it was only the Inquisitor. Julius was quiet; drowned eyes welling with tears.

Harlow quietly grasped her hand and squeezed it tight until both sets of their knuckles were bone white. "I wanted you to get your revenge. I wanted you to kill her and keep slashing until you were painted in her blood and all of the blood she has taken from you." Her voice was strong but began to shake, bright azure tearing up as well.

"I'm sure there's someone out there that wants the same taken again me. Against Ayre." Julius quietly spoke, staring up at Hawke. "What Calpernia did was something I've done a thousand times-"

"I know." Hawke whispered softly, squeezing Julius' hand again. "I know about the Red Marchers… I know."

How had…? Parthena had said it would stay between them.

"I've known a long while. We both grew up in the Free Marches." Hawke sniffed, clearing her throat. "A warlord fresh out of the mouth of the Waking Sea… I've known about you."

"...why didn't you ever say anything before this?"

"What would there have been to say? My eavesdropping when I arrived revealed you had only just now begun to remember what you've done and you're someone completely different now. Why would I have said anything? You never… the Red Marchers never touched Kirkwall, so rest assured this isn't some long plot for revenge." Hawke shook her head, looking back down to Julius.

"We all have our regrets, our mistakes… it's what we make out of them and out of who we are that defines us; not the bad we leave behind." Hawke sniffed again, using her shoulder to smear a tear across her cheek.

"I use humor, dry wit, false flirtations to try and pretend I'm alright. I'm not alright."

Silence built between them as the sun slowly rose to engulf them both in light and warmth "...those flirtations with Morrigan seemed pretty real to me." Julius murmured softly, watching the older woman. "I think there's something there."

Hawke chuckled softly, using her free hand to dry her eyes. "Well, she's gorgeous… who wouldn't throw their hat into that ring? But, I definitely don't think I'm her type."

"...she comforted you when you slept, last night. Don't give up, but be more serious about it. There's something there with her, too." The Inquisitor advised, and Hawke slowly smiled again.

"Then I will. And you will heal, and be better than we who came before you. That's your destiny."

"My destiny… that's a bold thing to say." The Inquisitor chuckled, closing her eyes as Hawke dried them gently.

"You're a bold presence. It suits you."

—

"Do you ever think the world's greatest minds will ever find a better way to mine ore?" Another heavy strike of a rudimentary pickaxe and the Nevarrite was jarred free. Sweat dotted Parthena's face and dripped from her jaw, Morrigan lingering nearby to fill a sack with the minerals.

"Perhaps when this world evolves, as it has in such ways before." Gold roamed over the warden, and Morrigan faintly smirked. "Have you told your young bard?"

"Have you?" Parthena shot back, beginning to strike at another source. "Does anyone in the Inquisition know?"

"No." The witch sighed, crossing her arms as she moved under the shade of a nearby dying tree. This desert heat was getting to be too much already.

"Then neither have I." Parthena took a rag and soaked the sweat from her face, slipping it back into her belt. "It's not exactly something I could even begin to explain."

"T'is far more surprising to me that it worked." Morrigan agreed, casting her eyes up to the sky. Not a single cloud in sight… the Hissing Wastes were beautiful in their own way, she supposed. Filled with all a manner of creature to make a man wet himself, or be devoured. Both, most likely.

"Morrigan? You know, with your destructive skill set… you realize you've also created, yes?" Parthena asked suddenly, depositing another vein into the sack.

"What are you prattling on about now?"

Parthena chuckled, lifting her head and stretching her back out. "You've created something out of almost nothing."

"I had your help."

"You had my cooperation. I helped in absolutely no way. It was your skills, your magic." Parthena turned to her, ice on gold in the heat. "Have you ever wondered if that's what is supposed to happen?"

"...what do you mean?" Morrigan drew close, out of the shade again.

"We read dusty tomes and ancient scrolls… to 'learn' a spell in a way, yes?" Parthena tossed the pickaxe aside, wiping her face of sweat again. "But we don't actually learn the spell. We learn that we can already use it."

"...I suppose that's true." Morrigan furrowed her brows, a little curious over where this sagely advice was truly coming from. They hadn't spoken for five years, after all.

"Then magic is really all dormant inside. I don't need runes or even to truly speak if I want something done." Parthena rolled her shoulders, flicking her wrists to loosen herself up.

"Why do I feel like you're going to-"

Parthena slammed her fist into the face of the rock wall, embedding her arm deeply to her elbow. Morrigan balked, striding to her side to admonish only to stand shocked.

The arcane warrior easily pulled out an entire unchipped vein of their desired ore, and her hand was without any marks of damage. "What do you figure this could be? Rock magic? The… singing of minerals with a hint of magic in them reacting to my own power?"

"...where did you learn this?"

"This is nothing learned. It's known, deep in my bones. In yours, too. You're a witch of the wilds, Flemeth's daughter, and your magic has always been so different from mages. It's because your mind is free; you were never taught that your magic should be leashed." Parthena seemed exhausted, and she dropped the vein into the sack and sat hard against the rock wall. "...that was a lot of energy regardless."

"You think too much, but you are correct. T'is something I've lived side by side with all my life; magic. Something you have repressed and hid…"

"My nobility hid my magic. If anyone had known I was truly a mage, I would have been forced into the Circle." Parthena frowned softly, laying her head back against the brittle rock. "...no. My mother would never have let me go. She always loved me no matter what. I hid it to save her; she knew and she was devastated I may have to go."

"You haven't spoken of your family in some time." Morrigan quietly sat beside her friend, placing her hand against the hard muscle of her shoulder.

"...not to anyone, no. It is still hard to think about them. My father, bleeding out. My mother, refusing to leave his side even though it meant her death. That coward Duncan, ripping me away instead of staying to fight like a man." Parthena's hand clenched tightly around a fistful of sand, and Morrigan gently laid her hand atop.

"You had your revenge, if I remember correctly." The witch murmured softly, gripping Parthena's fist. "Sliding your blade deep into Howe's belly as if he were made of nothing at all."

"He was made of nothing." Parthena's grave voice ground out, and she pursed her lips. "After the Blight ended… I razed his estates; his farms. I wiped the Howe name from all of Thedas; past, present, and future."

"Did it make you happy?" Morrigan asked, forcing Parthena's hand open. The heated grains of sand slid through their fingers, joining back into the desert as if never disturbed."

"...Yes."

—-

Julius had fallen asleep again, waking upon hearing the sand churn beneath boots. "How is she doing?" She heard Parthena quietly ask; her head being slowly shifted as Hawke moved to stand.

"Better, I think? We talked, so… and she hasn't died. Seems pretty good so far?" Hawke was trying to bolster some cheerful energy but even the Inquisitor could tell she was failing.

"Are you alright, Harlow? I know this is not an ideal situation and-" Parthena paused, seemingly sick of speaking politely. "It sucks. It's terrible and especially for us suffering from the aftereffects of war even after so long."

"Yeah… it sucks. This whole thing sucks." Hawke sniffed, Julius slowly opening her eyes.

"You're awake." Parthena moved forward as Morrigan took Hawke aside. The arcane warrior knelt, checking her brow.

"I'm okay… I feel… well, a lot of energy."

"Not tired, then?"

"No; not as if I have a lot of energy, just that there's energy waiting to be expelled. My hand-" Julius was led to sit up, and Parthena grasped her left wrist gently; the heat from the Mark was almost enough to burn her even still.

"There are a few rifts we've noted that need closing. You can expel that energy then." Ice peered deeply into Julius' Fade gaze. "It's a wonder you can see- you can, can't you?"

"Yes… but my vision is, ah, colored. It's not as it should be." The Inquisitor slowly stood with Parthena's help, and the warden softly hummed.

"Your eyes are absolutely swimming. Swirling with the Fade, completely gone."

"That sounds fucking terrifying." Julius shakily chuckled, covering her face. Everything felt so hot, but it wasn't the desert sun at play. "Where's the closest rift?"

"Just past the dunes, here. We've camped close enough to not awaken it." Parthena glanced towards the other two; Morrigan holding Hawke's hands a little firmly. She didn't look completely miserable… that was a start.

"Get your gear together." Julius murmured, loudly repeating it for the others as she pulled from Parthena for her daggers. She felt far too unlike herself; inhuman, otherworldly? Well, she was now, wasn't she? An instrument to be Fade completely, and now… a Grey Warden. Perhaps this life is exactly what she deserved.

There was no time to dwell; her arm felt like it may explode if the energy wasn't expended. Flaming locks were kept down instead of tied back, the silver clasp pocketed. If she was to be a legend, she needed to look like one; Andraste herself reborn and put through the gauntlet to save the world once more.

"Is everyone ready?" The Inquisitor regarded them, sweeping her gaze over the other three.

"We're ready." Parthena confirmed, her greatsword in place between her shoulders. Her greying dark hair was still wound in its braid from the morning, and she seemed more refreshed than she had in a while. Since their duel, actually…

"Then let's close this rift… and I can see how I've changed." The Inquisitor swallowed tightly, turning to survey the dunes. In just moments, she would see exactly what she had become.

"Don't overexert yourself. You've still got three legends behind you." Parthena reminded, smirking faintly.

"How many legends does it take to stop an apocalypse?" Hawke jokingly asked, shifting her weight towards Morrigan.

"I suppose once we stop it, we will count who remains." The witch shrugged Hawke off, and the four began to advance.

"I don't know how I've changed so… everyone start off far from me. When the rift awakens, the demons will pour out. Whatever manifests, keep them distracted. I've got to go for the rift directly or I feel my flesh may melt around this anchor." Julius advised, leaning her shoulder against the dune to peer over. The rift was strung in the air beside a long dead tree, no animals or plant life in sight. Even the sand below it had lost its tanned luster; grey and devoid of life.

"On your go." Parthena murmured, drawing her greatsword from her back. She cracked her neck to limber up, eyes narrowing against the sun. Perhaps she would try her new abilities as well… or better not to give Julius room.

Looking towards the other two, the Inquisitor nodded. "Now, go." She ordered, the four of them swinging over the dune to approach the rift.

Green lightning crackled around as the rift opened, and Julius grunted as her anchor became alive once more. The pain was splittingly dreadful, as if fire sparked in her palm and along her veins.

Parthena surged forward just as a Pride demon manifested; blocking its great arm from making contact with her greatsword and shoving the massive being back a step. "Julius, go!"

As the others provided a distraction for the Pride demon, the Inquisitor surged forward for the rift. Thrusting her hand into the air, a connection was made between the rift in the Fade and the anchor, only this one was much more painful than any before it.

Feeling as if the very nerves in her arm were singing with pain, Julius was forced down to her knees as she desperately tried to keep the connection open. With a sickening crackle, the Fade rift opened; a flash of light consuming everything.

—

"Oh… this is not good." After coming to, darkness gave way to light. Not light, no… it gave way to something more, yet something less all at once. She was in the Fade.

"No… not again." Just as it had been at the Conclave explosion, here she was; thrust into the Fade. Could she get her way back? If she created a rift and sealed it behind herself…

Julius crouched down, holding her head and rocking back and forth. "Fuck!" She yelled out into the void, no noise echoing back. This was a vast and dangerous place…

The Inquisitor stood again, glancing this way and that as she tried to pick a direction. Her arm felt worlds lighter and better; but it seemed the anchor was dormant. She felt absolutely nothing of the energy from before, and fretted she would be stuck.

The lack of energy also came with a lack of pain, and the Inquisitor could finally see clearly again. This place; the Fade. It may not have been what she had been born into but it certainly had become what she was to inherit. There was something about her that the orb had chosen; Genetic, a prophecy? Andraste born anew within herself? She could not say, but this place chose her for a reason.

Maybe it chose her to be a champion… or a destructor.

It wasn't without its dangers. Julius could see a massive being through the dense fog, but it was too far away to make out. Whatever it was, she was sure it wasn't friendly. "...Parthena?" She quietly called out, no sound returning.

It was silent and yet not; an ominous churning as if the very Fade itself were alive. Perhaps it was, it would explain so much…

Was she physically in the Fade, or had she passed out at some point when she attempted to close the rift? Grasping onto her own arms in an attempt to center herself and focus, she watched as the swirls of fog turned faded colors. Green was dominant here, but also specks of purple and gold. Black filled in only to be diverted by the sickening hue of mottled bruising yellow.

Was she safe here? Surely not from everything, like that massive being. How could she get back? Hands delving into fiery locks to hold her head, Julius groaned softly and fell to her knees. She was lost in the place where she had started this journey, and only hoped to be alive at the end of it.

A lilting giggle passed seemingly overhead yet all around at once, and Julius was startled to stand. That sounded like- "Calpernia." She hissed, taking stock of herself. She still had her daggers, her potions. She could still fight.

"Calpernia!" She followed the giggling as impossible as it seemed, running into a few jagged rock beds and burned buildings. This was starting to look almost familiar; like a dream you can only recall the feeling of and not the story.

Only when she came upon solid ground and tripped upon a rock did she realize; the Fade had started feeding on her memories. This was that chantry, the one with the wine-soaked rugs and the statue of Andraste weeping instead of praying.

The chantry in the town she had burned down when she was a warlord.

"...I don't understand." She spoke softly, as if she could disturb what time and herself had destroyed. It stood pristine, but she could smell the sting of alcohol drenched into the floorboards; she could taste the char of the fire consuming it all.

"What do you want from me? I already know this happened; I did it! I remember and I-I'm atoning! I'm trying to make it better; please, what is this?!" She fell to her knees once more before the weeping visage of Andraste, burying her face into her hands.

"What do you want from-" "Arlessamine!"

That voice. It put ice in her veins and bile at the back of her throat. It was not Calpernia.

The voice was coming from behind her.

"Arlessamine, we can't be in here! Mommy and daddy are already so angry at you…"

Nails once blunt now all but broke and splintered into her skin as Julius dug them into her cheeks. What madness was this? A trick, a trap? Calpernia's doing again?

This couldn't be- "Lilith…"

"What?" The agitated voice of her little sister huffed, and she heard the familiar padding of flat shoes near her side.

"You're dead." Julius refused to look, swallowing hard even as the toes of those shoes interrupted her vision of the rug beneath her knees.

"You'll be dead if you're caught in here-!"

"Listen to me!" The Inquisitor yelled, picking her head up. She wished she hadn't. She wished she had died before her family ever came to harm. Most of all, she wished Lilith hadn't looked so… normal. It only gave her an ounce of hope she wasn't ready to let go of.

Lilith looked everything like she remembered. Those freckles dusted across the bridge of her nose; the gap in her teeth and- "Where's the ribbon for your hair?" Her sister's crimson curls were unruly and faintly frizzed.

"Silly; you have it! Or, Cassandra does. Your new sister."

Wincing, Julius put her head down again. This wasn't real, this wasn't Lilith. She had to get out of this damned place.

"I knew, you know?" Lilith's accented voice drew her gaze back up. "That you were a bad person." Lilith elaborated, hands clasped in front of herself like a proper noble.

"Mommy always said you were too wild to be the heir. They wanted me to, and when you left it just made it easier. But I didn't want that." The manifestation of the younger girl sighed, moving to sit before her sister; legs swept beneath herself. Too much alike to Lilith.

"I knew you were bad but I had hoped you would come back. I missed you."

Biting the inside of her cheek hard enough to bloody, Julius sniffed to ward off tears. "...I missed you too." She grit from clenched teeth, hands clutching the fabric adorning her thighs.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying-" "Trying not to cry?" Lilith interrupted, dipping her head to catch her older sister's gaze again. "Well… why? It's okay to be sad; you need to cry."

Crying made her feel weak; made her seem weak. The Inquisitor squared her jaw, pulling her rust scarf from her throat to cover her face.

"What do you cry for?" Lilith asked, accented voice so full of wonder. "Is it me? Mommy; daddy too? The people you put down? The chantries you've burned?" Her voice began to wallow in sadness; not pity or even sympathy. Just overwhelming grief.

"Everything." Julius answered quietly into the rough fabric of her scarf, tears staining against it. "I'm so sorry, Lilith. I'm sorry you had to die, alone and scared. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when I should have; that I didn't write or… I'm sorry I never saw you again." Her shoulders shook, and the Inquisitor sobbed against her will.

"...you don't have to be sorry." Lilith spoke after a few moments, and the redhead woman felt a hand gently atop her head. "You can let go, you know? Of the guilt, the regret; your remorses, and shortcomings. Let it all go… this is holding you back; down like a weight stranding you at the bottom of a well. Drowning you in murky, freezing water; too heavy to breathe."

"I don't want to let go. I don't want to let you go." Julius argued, dropping the scarf and looking the spirit in the face. The face of her Lilith…

"Not me, silly… everything holding you back. You can still think good of me, yeah? Like when you smuggled wine out of aunt Lucille's party and gave me some? Don't you remember?"

"...heh. I do. You got so sick, even though I barely gave you a thimble's worth. Then we found out it was actually scented castor oil. I felt so terrible, I drank some too just so you wouldn't feel bad alone." The elder Trevelyan sniffled, cheeks wet with tears as she chuckled.

"It's your humanity, you know? That's making you feel so bad. Not saying you don't need it, but you didn't always have it before, did you? Not when you were Ayre… Not everyone can lose their humanity and gain it back again. You're special, Arlessamine. Though, I think you go by Julius now? You've so many middle names, it used to make me dizzy to say them all in one breath." Lilith smiled almost teasingly.

"You can remember the past and not be so shrouded in it. These things happened, and you can move on from them. Learn from these, please. I beg you to not try and live in the past."

"...I miss you, Lilith."

"I miss you too, Arlessamine. Julius." Lilith smiled, her hands grasping onto her older sister's. "Modest in temper?"

"Bold in deed." Julius finished their family motto, sniffing again. "I love you, Lilith…"

The spirit smiled softly to her, and vanished before her eyes as did the chantry around her. It was as if it was never there, and yet she could still smell the wine; the char.

She wasn't afraid anymore.

Julius rose to her feet, tying her dampened scarf back around her throat. This place… it was hers. It gave her what she needed, even if she was afraid to face it.

The anchor began to pulse, a dull ache acting as a beacon. The energy was slowly coming back, building up within herself. It was time to leave.

"Okay…" Julius took a breath, starting to walk. It ached stronger as she navigated the Fade, leading her to a broken mirror; hanging in the manipulated air before her. Peering through it, she realized it was a rift; one that was a portal through to the desert.

There were plenty more rifts, but hopefully this one was the closest to the one she had traveled through. "Okay… I hope this works." The pulsing had sped up, the anchor seeking out the rift to be let through.

Julius rose her palm up, sparking a connection immediately. She gripped onto the tether, pulling fiercely and opening the rift. Hopefully the others were safe…

—

"Where's Julius?!" Parthena roared, the rift having exploded outward and the Pride Demon losing its tether to life.

Morrigan strode forward to where the rift had hung, kneeling down to inspect the material left behind. A viscous fluid, as usual… but something else. A silver clasp. "I fear that she has… entered through the rift." Picking up the clasp and letting it dangle from her finger, the witch sneered. Disgusting…

"She went… where the demons come out? That's- oh, that's bad. That's terrible. How do we get her out?" Hawke stared with wide blue eyes, moving to Morrigan's side. She pulled out a cloth, taking the clasp to clean before wiping the witch's hand down as well.

Morrigan snatched her hand back, giving the younger woman a withering glare as Parthena approached them. "If we had an Eluvian, we might have been able to manipulate it."

"I do not mess with Eluvian's." Harlow put her hands on her hips, cocking a brow. She switched her gaze to Parthena, the warden giving a shrug.

"Don't look at me… the Fade isn't kind to anyone. I absolutely hated being stuck in there…"

"T'is not a good memory for me, either. Those pesky demons and impostors… so boring."

"Yes… I hated it because it lacked entertainment as well." Parthena dryly spoke, running a hand along her face. She pulled out a map and unrolled it, looking to where Leliana's agents had marked the rifts.

"There's another one close by; I think our best plan is just to go to it… hope she comes out the other side."

"Wow. We lost the Inquisitor." Hawke kept her hands on her hips, staring up at where the rift had been. "Wow."

"Oh, shut up." Morrigan hissed, yoking her fellow mage by the scruff of her tunic and dragging her along to follow Parthena.

"Everything's going to be okay." The warden sighed, rolling the map back up to tuck away. She hoped the Inquisitor was able to come back…

Julius couldn't be much use in the Fade, she imagined.

"There… it's dormant. Safe to approach." Parthena led the way and stood beneath it. The sun was beginning to set; sweat dotting her brow and seeping into her tunic beneath her armor.

"Should we set up a campsite here as well?" Morrigan stopped dragging Hawke over, placing her near. The witch strode beneath the dormant split to the Fade, pondering. If the Inquisitor was truly stuck, there wasn't a way to fix the Breach fully. It would remain an open festering wound, no doubt soon to consume them all-

The rift exploded open, startling them all as the sound reverberated and echoed across the sands. "Shit!" Julius shot out, crossing her arms to protect her face.

When the ground didn't meet her, the Inquisitor slowly opened an eye.

"Wow. Morrigan, you're very strong- agh!" Julius was dumped out of the witch's arms; Morrigan very frazzled by the incident.

"Blast and damnation!" Morrigan hissed, more than shocked. When she had dropped the Inquisitor, Hawke had dove and slid to catch her.

"This is precious cargo." Harlow softly murmured, Julius sitting on her back. The Inquisitor was honestly just as baffled as they were. That actually worked?

"That- what in Andraste's tits even was that?" Parthena could only stare dumbly at the scene before her. This was… a mess. They were a mess.

"I have absolutely no idea." Julius finally spoke, moving off of Harlow and helping her up. "I went to close the rift but it pulled me in; swallowed me up. I woke in the Fade. I-" She paused, clearing her throat. "I saw my sister."

"A demon?" Morrigan immediately rounded on her, clutching the Inquisitor's face in her hands. Her eyes… they were-

"No, not a demon. A spirit. It- she… it knew. About Lilith, what we did as children. Maybe it was just feeding off of my memories, but it wasn't malicious. It actually helped me, a lot." Julius murmured, not moving from Morrigan's grasp. The witch seemed concerned still. "What is it?"

"Your eyes. They no longer drown in the Fade. I've never seen them this color." The witch let her go, taking out the broken mirror again.

Gentle green eyes were reflected back; soft almost, as if she had not lived through what she had. "They're… normal." Julius rubbed them to look again, soothed by the sight.

"Well, that's- Huh. Is that good, or bad? I mean, your eyes were crazy before but in a powerful way." Harlow dusted herself of the sand, looking to Parthena. "Like yours; icy and cold."

"Mm." Parthena shrugged. "If her gaze has cleared, it could mean her influence over the Fade has gone too."

"It hasn't. I just opened a pathway back from the Fade." Lifting her left hand, she gestured to the anchor. It was alive, as vicious a green as her eyes had been, but the glow no longer traveled up her arm. It no longer burned either; maybe she had learned control?

"We will see…" Parthena rubbed the nape of her neck. "Perhaps just too much energy expended. If it builds up, it finds other outlets. Your eyes."

"Maybe. I can't say I'm an expert on this; though I've been there and back twice in full physical form." Julius chuckled softly, Hawke staring up at the rift again.

"...wow- Hey!" Harlow hissed, holding her arm where Morrigan had pinched her.

"Oh, do shut up. Back to camp. Now." The witch angrily strode off, the other three watching her go.

"This must be frustrating for her; not knowing the answer even after so much magical research." Parthena sighed, rolling her neck to crack it. "Like the lady said; back to camp."

—

Once back at their campsite, Julius relayed her experience in the Fade as the sun set and the stars came out. The other three listened intently, and even Morrigan seemed swayed from her original opinion.

"I am sorry Calpernia took away Lilith. She sounded like a fine girl." The witch softly spoke once Julius was quiet, and the redhead nodded.

"She was." The Inquisitor held a speared piece of meat over the fire, roasting it slowly. "I've been just so… so busy. With this whole 'saving the world' thing, I guess I forgot I needed to grieve. I thought revenge would help, but I don't even think I want that anymore." She confided, Hawke nodding solemnly along.

"Revenge isn't always what you think it could be; what it will be. Sometimes, revenge is just living your life despite what others have done to you. Despite what they try to make of you." Harlow's voice was rough again, lacking of all humor.

Julius nodded, noticing gold glancing Hawke's way with a faint air of appraisal. She hid a smile, taking a bite of the roasted fennec on her stick.

"I suppose we all have different methods of revenge." Parthena spoke up, washing down her meal with a swig of water. "Rendon Howe was eviscerated and his entrails decorated his castle. I had never felt more alive before that moment. It was fleeting but glorious, and I avenged my family and also the late King Cailan that night when I beheaded Loghain Mac Tir."

"I remember that night. It was amazing." Harlow spoke again, smiling. "I was so busy in Kirkwall, but news travels fast as lightning sometimes. You were such a walking legend then, even now! It's so surreal to be a part of this."

"Believe me; it's surreal for me too. I would have thought to be dead by know, but this world still needs me, I suppose." Parthena chuckled, Julius nodded as she finished her meal.

"Thedas needs us all, for whatever comes next… we should probably set up tents, though. I can feel the temperature dipping."

"I think we only brought three." Harlow moved to their pile of supplies, confirming. "Morrigan and I can room together." She teased, waggling her brows.

"Then it will be done." Morrigan nodded, shutting Hawke up quickly. What was that, now?

Parthena smirked faintly, standing to help. "Then let's set up." She grasped one of the tents, Harlow grasping another and tossing one to Julius.

The Inquisitor chuckled, standing to start erecting her tent as well. They would be out here for a while yet, they may as well be comfortable.

—

Back at Skyhold, Josephine worried an area of wood on her desk with her fingertip. Nothing had come back from the Hissing Wastes; not a single letter or even a package. She was concerned over her lover's wellbeing, and that of the mission. It was apparently an extravagant hunting expedition, and while Cassandra seemed convinced enough, she was not.

"Josie, you will warp the table if you continue that." Leliana's voice filtered in, distracting her mercifully. The spymaster approached, smirking faintly as she lowered her hood.

"Have your agents come back with news-?"

"Goodness, not even a polite greeting? 'Hello, Leliana, how are you? Did you eat dinner yet?'" The redheaded woman teased her, and Josephine became very flustered.

"Leliana, forgive me. I am just so very-"

"You're worried, I know. I'm only teasing…" Leliana smiled, perching herself on the corner of Josephine's desk.

"Reports have come back; The Inquisitor is being cared for quite well and is in good health. Though, my scouts say one full night is missing from the report but it doesn't seem to be anything amiss. Probably just nothing to report."

"Nothing to report? You can't honestly believe that, Leliana?"

"No, I don't, but I suppose if no one was injured then it really doesn't matter." Leliana folded her arms over her chest, though frowned slightly.

"My agents have reported that everyone looks normal and no one seems injured. They did run into Tevinter forces; they say they heard Julius shouting Calpernia's name."

"Calpernia… that wicked woman." Josephine sighed, looking up to Leliana before she stood. "One night missing with Calpernia mentioned? I don't like this, Leliana."

"Neither do I, but the aftermath seems in our favor." Leliana sighed, rubbing her brow. "The missing report is in line with Parthena's nature. She tends to leave details out."

"Well… if they're all alright, then I suppose we needn't worry so much. Instead, we should focus on a use for the supplies they're supposed to be bringing back." Josephine brought up a list only for Leliana to nudge the marble board down.

"Or we could go out to the tavern and have some fun?"

"Fun?" The way Josephine spoke made Leliana giggle; as if the ambassador had never known enjoyment.

"Yes, fun. Like we used to… you may even pin my smallclothes to the tavern board, who knows?"

Josephine tittered a surprised laugh, smiling as she set away the checklist. "That does sound fun. Alright, then."

"I even saw Cassandra down there encouraging on Maryden. And you know how our dear Seeker loathes entertainment."

"Did you get her drunk?"

"Maker, no… I got her started."

—

"Maryden, do you write all of your songs yourself?" Cassandra was leaning against one of the posts supporting the tavern roof, very close to the playing minstrel.

Maryden's cheeks were already red, and Leliana stifled a smirk as she escorted Josephine in. It seemed Cassandra was much more friendly with a few drinks. Though she already was familiar with that notion.

"Aye, Seeker Pentaghast. There's not a one I've not written myself. Though, for translating into Orlesian, I leave that up to the bards." The minstrel smiled almost coyly.

"As right you should. Never do the work for someone else unless they absolutely require it." Cassandra imparted her knowledge, nodding. "Like the Inquisitor-"

Maryden almost flinched. Was the Seeker about to talk ill of their leader?

"The Inquisitor is a tremendous woman carrying the weight of this world and the one to come next. She still polishes her own armor and even washes her own clothing. That is rare to see even among common soldiers."

"Cassandra is very cute when she's drunk." Leliana whispered to Josephine as they took a seat nearby.

"Leliana… it's improper to eavesdrop." The Antivan woman quietly spoke, though she did chance a look over her shoulder towards them.

Maryden seemed relieved and pleased, nodding enthusiastically. "Yes, I've had a hard time trying to write a song about her exploits unfortunately. Seeing first hand her abilities and power at the Winter Palace… it all but rendered me speechless."

"Executing Florianne in front of the entire Court… it was magnificent." Cassandra almost swooned, Leliana covering her mouth with a gloved hand to snicker.

"Seems you may have competition for Julius' affections, Josie-"

Josephine lightly hit the spymaster's shoulder, though couldn't hide a grin of her own. "You stop that."

Leliana let out a soft giggle, accepting a drink for herself and Josephine. "My own little stash of Antivan wine." She informed, discreetly sniffing both their glasses for any trace of poison. "Better safe than dead." She cocked a brow to Josephine's glance, passing the younger woman her wine.

The ambassador merely shook her head with a smile. "I do still remember being a bard; I can detect poison just as well as you."

"Maybe." Leliana playfully winked, taking a slow sip to savor the spiced wine.

"How do you think Julius and Parthena are getting along?"

"Famously, I assume."

"Is that a pun?" Josephine narrowed her eyes.

"They have similar moral compasses." Leliana ignored the question but smirked into her glass. "Parthena wants only to do good. Julius wants only to be good. They will benefit from one another as flawlessly as partners."

"If I may confess; I still find it hard to believe and stomach that Julius was… that person."

"Well, you know what my explosive reaction to that was…" Leliana winced, and Josephine briefly wondered if she was recalling the strangling of the Inquisitor or Parthena's punishment.

"It was… fitting. She could have been lying. She still could be."

"Perhaps, but when I look into her eyes, I don't think she is. We both know how perceptive I am in that regard. I think she is truly someone else now." Leliana took another sip of her wine. "Her name change from Ayre to Julius will be made worldwide. I suspect this may gather more attention from the Ferelden Kingdom; they've all but ignored us up until this point. Even taking Redcliffe they didn't bother to send but a letter."

"Mm, it does seem awfully strange. Isn't Alistair-?"

"He is more Anora's crown jewel, just like his half-brother before him. Honestly I would have expected her to grace our presence the moment we stepped foot in Redcliffe. Other issues at hand I can only assume."

"Perhaps we have enough sway behind us to demand an audience when the Inquisitor and company return?" Cassandra interrupted them both, now seeming stone-cold sober.

"How do you do that? I watched you down five whole tankards yourself."

"Training." The Seeker sat between them, declining another drink. "We are not ones who wait. We make others wait."

"That's not a bad notion." Josephine nodded. "We should invite them to a feast; we already have Orlais and Empress Celene at our side. Inviting them now would be insulting to their kingdom as we don't really need them or their support."

"The Game is on." Leliana confirmed with a nod. "Have one of the couriers write the invitation; that'll sting them good. It will also make them angry enough to actually visit."

Cassandra snorted with amusement, scar pulling at her jaw as she only faintly smiled. "The Inquisition has much influence… for that I am thankful. I was not sure we would gain so much when we first decreed it."

"Nor was I, yet here we are." Leliana gently nudged Cassandra with her shoulder. "You are one of the most prominent voices of the Inquisition. I expect you to be in the war room more often."

"I do not make the best diplomatic suggestions."

"It's a war room, Cassandra. It is not an area where the Game is in play."

Cassandra grimaced but nodded with a sigh. "Then I will join more often."

Leliana winked to Josephine, the antivan smiling pleasantly.

"You are one of its two founders, it would do us some good to have you."

"Now that that is settled… were you flirting with Maryden?" Leliana smirked, leaning in towards the seeker.

Baffled with her face turning red, Cassandra could only grumble as the other two laughed.

—

When Julius next awoke, she was surprised with how at peace she felt. No nightmares disturbed her sleep, and she felt clear for the first time in ages. Nothing was haunting her any longer.

Staring up at the fabric of her tent, she could feel the heat of the desert sun soaking in. Her bedroll atop the sand was also toasty, and she wondered if she could rest a while more.

"Do not touch me." It seemed not. The hushed voice was of Morrigan, and she idly wondered if Hawke was being inappropriate.

"I just wanted to show you this lizard!" Oh. Of course it would be something like that.

"I will burn it and you to a crisp and eat both for breakfast." Morrigan threatened, darting back toward Julius' tent as the redhead woman exited it.

Harlow had a wicked grin on her face as Morrigan retreated once more, this time behind the Inquisitor. "You can transform into a dragon but you fear a small lizard?"

"I fear nothing." Morrigan almost hissed, though a steel grip on the back of Julius' sleeveless jacket said otherwise. "I detest these creatures. They know not sympathy or empathy. All they do is bite, feed, and roam."

"You hate what has no order?" Hawke seemed surprised. "We have no order!"

"We have order in how we behave." Parthena argued, sitting on a rock. She seemed to just be watching, amused and content.

"Harlow, put the lizard down before Morrigan makes good on her threat. She's singing my shoulder." Julius smirked when she felt the witch's hand snatch back.

"T'was not."

The second youngest of them snickered and released the lizard back onto the sand. It scampered away as if truly understanding the witch's threat, kicking up sand on its way.

"You're finally awake." Parthena noted of the Inquisitor, drawing her greatsword to sharpen.

"I slept well." Julius shrugged, turning to Morrigan to assure there was no more of the lizard.

Golden eyes narrowed yet held a small warmth for the concern. "It has come to our attention that there is a dragon nesting nearby."

"A Sandy Howler, to be specific." Harlow added, washing her hands from her canteen. "We were talking of tracking it before you woke."

"Parthena and I were speaking of tracking it; you were finding a lizard."

"Agree to disagree." Harlow grinned mischievously.

"We should save the dragon slaying for last; just before we make our return to Skyhold." Julius decoded, Parthena nodding.

"Of course, but we've also spotted the varghests. Another pack, one close by. It seems they've been moving in the dead of night closer and closer to our camp. One more night and they'll be upon us."

The Inquisitor couldn't help the shiver that traveled through her at the mention. The Varghest, come to drag her away…

"We should deal with them, then." She nodded, brushing off her bare arms as the sand whipped faintly with the wind. She adjusted her loose belt, picking her daggers up. "Where are they now?"

"Just a few meters south. You can see them over this dune." Parthena stood to show her, strapping the sword onto her back again.

Harlow side-stepped to Morrigan. "So… when can we begin my animal training?"

Morrigan sighed, long and low. "I suppose after the varghests."

"Yes!"

"Do not celebrate. You may not even be able to achieve what you desire."

"Maybe not today, but I am patient." Harlow seemed to be speaking of more than just shapeshifting, and Morrigan gave her an appraising look.

"...then we shall see."

"Mm, I see them. Near that oasis…" Julius squinted against the sun. "Is everyone ready? Seems to be four of them."

"We have prepared." Parthena confirmed, rolling her neck.

"Then let the hunt begin."

—

As the four of them scouted the potential fighting grounds, the Inquisitor narrowed her eyes against the sun. The varghests were not an unfamiliar opponent, but still one not to be underestimated. "Four for four." She spoke quietly, settling a hand against the dune for better support.

"You should know things are never that easy, Julius." Parthena spoke just as softly. "We need to seclude one from the herd, lure it, and kill it."

"A master hunter, are we now?" Morrigan asked, Parthena huffing softly.

"Well, yes, I am. I'm a Cousland if you do recall-"

"Hey." Harlow hushed them, all eyes on her. "Now isn't the time. If we do manage to lure one from the herd, none of the remaining three will fall for the same distraction. Instead, they'll band together and be more of a force."

"...damn. She's right." Parthena furrowed her brows, Morrigan smirking to Harlow with a sidelong glance.

Watching the varghests behave almost as if sharing a hive mind, the Inquisitor hummed softly. "Well… then we need to drive all four into chaos at once. Storm them when they're panicked."

"Panic a predator and then attack them?" Parthena deadpanned, Julius cocking a brow at her.

"If it works on dragons, it'll work on varghests." She took a jar from her sleeveless coat, shaking the irritated bees within it.

"That really works on dragons?" Parthena furrowed her brows, intrigued.

"The wasps do more damage, but yeah. They distract while we attack; and both do damage."

"That's amazing. Whose idea was-"

"Sera's. You know her, right?"

"Oh, yes… we've met. She certainly has character, and with this now? She might be my new favorite."

"Hey…" Harlow threw an exaggerated frown and Parthena rolled her eyes.

"You and I are the same age."

"If you three are quite done…?" Morrigan softly seethed. Seemed she was itching for combat.

"Right, yes. Duck down." Julius shook the jar again, the rapid buzzing of agitated bees almost deafening. She tossed the jar right into the middle of the varghest herd; glass smashing as the bees began to sting.

"...you realize they have scales, right?" Parthena idly reminded.

"...shite."

"Now we have to deal with bees and varghests?!" Harlow ducked down completely.

"You three are children." Morrigan stood, tossing a sizable meteor of fire from her hands. It blasted the varghests and exterminated the bees, leaving behind the crispy and sweet smell of burnt honey.

"Well? Go get them!" The witch ordered of the three staring at her, and they stumbled scrambling over the dune to charge. "Utter morons…"

Julius was the first to make contact, sliding under one varghest as it reared back on its hind legs to attack. She cut into the soft of its belly, blood drenching her quickly.

Parthena met the next with her blade at its claws, barely avoiding the gnashing of its teeth. Blood and sand whipped with the desert winds and the strength of her attack as she beheaded the beast.

Harlow stabbed one of her varghest's eyes out with the end of her staff; alighting its orbital passageway with lightning to fry it from within.

Morrigan secretly rated each attack to herself, Harlow winning by a long shot. With the fourth varghest approaching her, the witch merely smirked.

As she transformed herself into the mightiest of dragons, the other three watched with utter awe. Morrigan tore the smaller beast apart, throwing it into the air and swallowing it whole.

"Maker's breath, that woman must be mine…" Hawke stared with mouth agape, Parthena tossing her an odd look.

"We all have our kinks, I guess…"

The Inquisitor chuckled, wiping blood off of her cheek. "That is quite the skill. She said she would teach you, didn't she?"

"She did!" Harlow admired more as Parthena began to harvest from the creatures.

"We should have enough scales even with her devouring one." The warden commented, and Julius chuckled lowly. "We did have a purpose for these, did we not?"

"Yes, the scales and the meat." The Inquisitor confirmed as Morrigan transformed back; the witch stumbled, weak.

"I've got you." Hawke braced her, surprised when Morrigan didn't brusquely brush her off.

"So… you did say you would teach me to do that…"

The witch sighed lowly. "I stand by my word, but we begin small. You begin small."

"As long as we begin." Harlow caught her gaze, gold narrowing as she realized their words both had a double-sided meaning.

"...I suppose."

Harvesting the varghests took little time with sharp knives; Julius sneering at the stink of steaming meat separated from the thin layer of skin below scales.

"We'll head back to camp and prepare a meal." Parthena spoke to the other two, shouldering Julius playfully. "I think they need to be alone."

"And you think that's a good idea?"

"Maybe not for Harlow, but not my place to say."

So, Parthena wasn't jealous, then? What was it between her and the witch?

Julius set aside the pack of scales back at her tent, Parthena laying the meat out to dry in the sun. The fire was still low in the pit, crackling gently in the wind. The sky was clear, and it was sure to be a long day.

Maybe she should just ask? No, too much had happened to ask about something as trivial as that. But, Leliana was one of her closest friends… and also the spymaster of one of the largest organizations even before the Inquisition. If Parthena was seeing other people, she would know about it no matter what.

"If you get lost in your head again, I'm not sure how to bring you out." Parthena spoke, snapping the Inquisitor out of her thoughts.

"I've got plenty to think about." Julius chuckled, tying the bag of scales up.

"Of that I have no doubt. But, have you made time to pray today?"

The redheaded woman winced, and Parthena noticed. "It's something I only do for… symbolism. Not for religion or strength, just a respect for the words and the power behind them. A power that often others hold too dearly." The warden explained, and noticed Julius' shoulders instantly relax.

"We've prayed together before."

"Yes, but I still had to say it. I'm not sure I believe in the Maker, but it is reassuring sometimes." Parthena knelt by the fire, nodding to a spot beside herself.

The redhead woman knelt as well, and they bowed their heads to the low fire.

"The Fade is separated from the World, and He knew He had wrought amiss. So the Maker turned from his firstborn and took from the Fade a measure of its living flesh and placed it apart from the Spirits, and spoke to it, saying: Here, I decree opposition in all things: For earth, sky. For winter, summer. For darkness, light. By My Will alone is balance sundered and the world given new life."

"Hm… do you think the Fade is opposite the Golden City; the Black City now?"

"Once, maybe. When it was Golden. Now? They are one in the same; parallels." Parthena held her hands up amidst the flame, letting her magic feed from the heat. She twisted the fire from its very image, turning it instead to lightning; sick and yellow as it formed.

"...you just-?"

"Yes, it seems that with the Fade bleeding into the real world, my powers have become more interesting. Morrigan can attest to that; I punched my hand into the rock face and pulled out an ore vein." Parthena faintly smirked, quirking her eyebrows up.

"That is… impressive. Volatile, but impressive." Julius wondered if all mages had discovered this. Then again, so many bred and led through the Circle? Even without any circle at all and all apostates, she doubted they would realize their full potential. Only those like Morrigan and Parthena; maybe even Hawke. Apostates from before, witches, and free mages…

Vivienne? They would need to have a talk.

"Not as impressive as you, Trevelyan." Parthena spoke again, watching the lightning crackle in their fire pit. It held the same warmth, but seemed colder somehow. "You are part of the Fade, now. I would say you even are it, personified. The warrior of the Fade."

"Fade-step rogue, first I've ever heard of it." Julius chuckled again, shrugging her shoulders. "It certainly is something different."

"You are too nonchalant. You're a powerful enemy. You could rival any kingdom, especially now, and win."

"All I want to do is fix this. Fix… what has gone wrong. Heal the sky, and send Corypheus to whatever awaits us after death."

"And I hope you do. More than anything." Parthena nodded solemnly to her. "I hate that you're a pawn in this diplomatic Game; where people with too much pride and power act as if they are immune to the end of the world. The end of all things. No one is immune to that."

"I don't understand it. I haven't understood any of it since Haven. How can you deny something that's happening right in front of you?" The Inquisitor furrowed her brows.

"Did you know there's some people who deny that the Fifth Blight even happened?" Parthena asked, chuckling when the younger woman gave her an incredulous look.

"A catastrophic event where the world literally almost ended… and people don't believe it happened?"

"Mhm… I've been spat on by old biddies and young idiots alike; spouting the same nonsense that it's just a scare mongering campaign." Parthena sighed lowly, running a hand through the lightning quickly just to barely grasp a bolt. "I think it's fear. Stupidity, no doubt… but fear too. Too gripped with fear to do anything pretend it doesn't exist."

"It's not fear." Julius frowned, rolling her neck. "It's hate. People use these events to blame the victims because of where they originate. The Dalish elves? The circles; the alienages?"

"Mm, yes, that too. Stupidity and hate are too powerful for how pitiful they are." Parthena nodded, top lip curling in disgust.

"The Breach to swallow the world; the demons to overrun it… once Thedas is saved, there may not be one person who believes this happened in ten years."

"I don't care what anyone will think in ten years. At least they'll still be alive to dispute it."

—

Morrigan led Hawke down towards an oasis, glancing about. No wayward enemies nor critters… and the sound of the water was something to focus on. "Sit. Listen." She ordered, and all Harlow did was smile and follow direction.

The mage sat upon a rock in the middle of the rippling water, gentle blue eyes following the witch.

"My mother… Flemeth, if you're familiar, trained me from a very young age. T'is from her grimoire I learned of such a high tier skill, though the translation was very old and hard to read. Hard, not impossible." Morrigan stood before her, frowning.

"I was already proficient in shapeshifting, but even transforming into a dragon is no easy task. It is exhausting and utterly draining."

"I understand." Harlow spoke softly, smiling more. "I do not ever expect to be able to turn into a dragon like you, but to become anything… it's a skill I would not squander." She sat straight, focusing.

Morrigan hummed thoughtfully, nodding slow. "Then… we can begin." She strode closer, hands moving to cup Hawke's ears.

"Take heed and listen to the sound of the water, and of my voice. Let only these noises in, and ignore all else."

Hawke closed her eyes, taking in a slow breath.

"Go onward and focus on your primal needs. Hunger, thirst, shelter." Morrigan kept her gaze trained on the mage. "T'is a tricky thing, changing your shape. If you make a mistake, I am able to force you back to your humanity, so worry not too much. Just focus."

Hawke felt something, burrowing deeply beneath her skin. It was… small. Fast; nimble and utterly repugnant. Deep blue eyes shot open as the mage squeaked, jumping out of her clothes and emerging as-

"A rat?" Morrigan spat, fighting the urge to step onto the stone and away from it. "You became a desert rat?" Repulsed but impressed, the witch reluctantly lowered her hand to allow the transformed Hawke into her palm.

"Ugh, you're disgusting. With your little paws and stupid tail." Hm, was it actually kind of cute? Morrigan narrowed her eyes. It couldn't be.

Squeaking happily, the tan desert rat ran around her palm, barely half the size of a throwing rock. Oh no, maybe it was cute?

"Do not make me drop you." Morrigan hissed, threatening this rat for daring to be almost adorable.

"I'm going to set you back down." She warned, doing just that and placing Hawke on the rock once more. "Turning back is trickier, now that your brain is the size of a pea."

The rat had the audacity to look even cuter. Morrigan swore she may step on it soon.

"Find your humanity; summon it forth and shed your fur."

The rat just stared at her, dumb and cute with its small ears. Morrigan seethed inwardly, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"T'is but a wall; break through and change back."

As if unable to understand, the desert rat began walking back and forth; body shimmying as if it were-

"Are you dancing?!" Morrigan hissed, feeling heat at her cheeks. She was angry, more so than normal; but this rat was… cute.

"Change back or I shalll smite you with lightning."

"Wha- Hey!" Hawke immediately burst forth from her former rat self, holding her hands up in defense.

Morrigan only narrowed her eyes, almost steaming. Now Hawke was just human, and naked. Muscular, too, though it wasn't as if she had had doubts about that. Was that a tattoo-?

"Put your clothes on." She grumbled instead, turning her back. She ran a hand across her brow, feeling the heat from her skin. It was definitely not the sun at work…

"Sorry, but hey, you've got to admit that was good, right?" Hawke's excited voice and the shuffle of fabric could be heard before Morrigan decided to turn back around.

Thankfully, the mage was fully dressed again.

"You've a tattoo?" Morrigan cocked a brow, and Harlow immediately colored.

"O-oh, you saw that? Aha, guess you got a look at everything, really… do you… want to see it?"

She did. Surprising herself, Morrigan nodded sharply.

Giving a grin, Harlow rose her tunic up to expose her lower stomach. The ink was very well done; strokes of the blackness like a fine artist with a paintbrush. The rendering itself was appalling. It was a thick anchor of a pirate's ship, no doubt; coils of rough looking rope and an opened scroll with the words 'J'aime les seins' painstakingly etched in a perfect Orlesian script.

"I love tits-?" Morrigan sighed almost as if pained. "...that is the worst thing I have ever seen."

"Isabela did that for me." Harlow grinned widely, unashamed and in fact very proud.

"And are you and Isabela in contact?"

"Not recently, no. She's sailing and I'm… I was hiding. But now I'm here." Harlow nodded, letting her tunic drop down. "You weren't asking if we were together, were you?"

"No." Morrigan sneered. "...are you?"

"I'm as free as a bird. Or I guess, a desert rat in the palm of a gorgeous witch." Hawke took a step closer, pleased yet surprised when Morrigan didn't back away.

"…We shall see if that is the situation once this expedition is over, hm?"

"Yeah… wait, what?"

—

"Maker's dominion on lust demons, my head…" Leliana's groan woke a few others, and she slowly crawled out from under one of the tavern's table. At least she slept alone… thank the Maker for that. She'd slit the throat of whoever had been cuddled close, anyway. She winced, grunting as she managed to sit on the bench. "My back-?"

"Hey, Red. Got you ice for that tattoo." The Iron Bull's deep voice bounced around in her head painfully. Ice sounded marvelous-

"Tattoo?" Leliana almost pounced at him, but any movement stung to be quite honest. Instead, she merely deflated into a more comfortable position. "...what do you mean, tattoo?"

"You asked for ink." Krem joined them, giving Leliana another tankard. He sat by the quanari, smirking. "The rest of the Chargers can attest. You asked for an extremely detailed tattoo of Andraste. Naked. On your back. Almost life-size, too, but we panned it down."

"...you're joking." Leliana honestly wished that the ground would open up and she could tumble into the hole. It would be less painful than this moment.

"Hey, I did a damn fine job. You want to see it?" The Iron Bull held up a mirror, and Krem held up a smaller one for Leliana to hold.

Groaning with contempt at herself and pure disbelief, Leliana glanced around. Everyone else was still passed out…

Gingerly, she pulled her lavender tunic up and angled the hand mirror to see. Though her skin was inflamed, the ink looked impeccable and very lifelike. "Maker, those breasts are divine-"

"Leliana?" Cassandra's accent was thick, and as she sat up, she got an eyeful of the spymaster's chest and the reflection of the tattoo.

Leliana immediately threw her tunic down, the Iron Bull and Krem snickering in the background.

Cassandra stared, expression stern before the armor of her features cracked. The Seeker began to laugh hysterically, waking several others as she pointed and jeered.

Leliana was furious now, moving to silence Cassandra as Josephine slowly sat up. "Don't you dare tell a soul-!"

"What are you two doing…?" The ambassador asked, cocking a brow as Krem fetched her a steaming cup of tea.

"Nothing." Leliana shoved Cassandra down, and the Seeker hissed when she landed on her arm.

"What the…?" Scowling now, Cassandra threw a glare to the Iron Bull and Krem.

"Oh… uh… I've got a signed confession about this. You asked for it." Krem handed Cassandra the form, and the Seeker deflated.

Gently, she rolled her linen sleeve up to reveal- "Is this the Trevelyan crest?"

"That's much better than mine!" Leliana huffed, moving closer to see it. It was just as well done as her Andraste rendering… that she would never admit to having.

Josephine, worried, looked herself over.

"Don't worry, Ambassador Montilyet… you said you wanted to wait to get one with the Inquisitor." Krem grinned, and Josephine audibly sighed in relief.

"This is far worse than smallclothes on the chantry board." Leliana groaned, taking the ice in a burlap sack the Iron Bull offered and laying back on it.

Cassandra was glad that hers was at least a sign of respect. She started to snicker again, getting Leliana's tankard against her head and falling back.

"Oi, Andraste tits! Keep it down." From the same table Leliana crawled from emerged Sera, and the drunken elf drained another tankard. "Shite, my arse is stinging something fierce."

Leliana cocked a brow at the elf, narrowing blue eyes. Had they been that close together under there?

"Oh, Sera. You got a tattoo as well." Krem informed, and Sera all but shot up to expose herself to everyone awake and sober as she looked.

"What the bloody shite is this?!" She screeched, and Josephine spat out her tea onto the tavern floor.

"Hey, you all are going to pay for the clean up!" Cabot seemed amused either way, grinning as Sera covered herself again.

"Why the absolute fuck would I want one of those stupid elvish mirrors on my arse?!" Sera rounded on Krem and the Iron Bull, almost foaming at the mouth.

"Well, you said the Eluvian was for the bee and then you just wanted some pumpkins decorating around it. Didn't make much sense to me honestly but we got a motto: don't argue with the customer and give them what they want."

"I was drunk!"

"Sorry, no refunds."

"I paid for this shite?!" Sera almost launched at them, but Cassandra caught and held the elf with a small smirk.

"No more tattooing in the tavern. At least not on the drunken people." Josephine decreed, thankful she hadn't been marked.

"Yes, Ambassador, of course." Krem grinned, bowing his head.

Sera drained the rest of her tankard and Leliana's thrown one, crawling back under the table and cursing.

The Iron Bull and Krem shared a smirk between them. They were definitely going to continue their side-hustle.

—

"I turned into a rat!" Harlow excitedly announced as she and Morrigan returned to camp.

"How could you tell the difference?" Parthena quipped, getting a slap to the back of the head by the witch. "Hey-"

"Quiet yourself." Morrigan threw her a withering glance.

"Mhm… I once turned into a rat; in the Fade during that blasted Circle cleansing."

"Rat sisters!" Harlow yelled again, draping herself across the warden's lap.

"I swear-"

Julius smirked faintly, sitting in front of the fire. Morrigan joined her side as the other two occupied themselves with each other. "Recovering well?"

"I think so. My anchor doesn't hurt, and its spread seems to have receded back to just my wrist." Julius showed the witch her arm; the faint glow just visible beneath sunkissed skin.

"Fascinating… the recede recent from the Fade encounter?"

"Mm. It burned so much and then… nothing. It feels so much better now." The Inquisitor watched as Morrigan took her hand to better inspect.

"...t'is cold?" Gold eyes flicked to normal green, and Julius shrugged with a smile.

"I thought it would be warm, too. But the pain was always cold in the nerves. So hot it burned like I was holding ice; a cold pain."

"That is curious." Morrigan hummed softly, letting her hand go. She eyed the fire, realizing it was instead yellowed lightning from when Parthena had changed it.

"With the Fade bleeding into the world, your powers should be more manipulative. It probably stands to reason that that is how they managed to travel through time in Redcliffe." Julius hummed, closing her eyes.

"I wish I could do that. Just… take everything and go back to the moment it all changed."

"What good would that do?" Morrigan questioned, turning to face her. "You would still be Ayre, Ire of the Red Marchers. Still a warlord destroying everything you ever touched. Your family may live in this altered world, but would you ever see them again? Ever be welcomed to?" The witch paused, narrowing her eyes. "And even still, what of the ambassador? Never met; not truly. Never known through the time spent together, never known love? Do not wish for such a silly thing."

"...as usual, Morrigan, you are right." The Inquisitor smiled, but the witch did not. Instead, she seemed morose now; Gold staring into the lightning.

"...do you have someone you love, Morrigan?"

The witch didn't cut a gaze towards her, instead, she seemed to soften. "I do, though not in the way you love your ambassador. I… have a son."

"A child?" Julius quietly inquired, surprised.

"Not so much a child but he is young, yes. His name is Kieran, and he is somewhere safe. Before this, I was unsure if I should divulge but this world is getting more dangerous by the moment. I should hope you would agree in letting him come to Skyhold?"

"Of course, Morrigan. He is your son… and Skyhold might be one of the safest places in all of Thedas as it stands now." The redheaded woman watched her for a moment, and she was sure Morrigan knew she wanted to ask her question. She didn't, and instead looked away towards the contained lightning again.

She wouldn't intrude on her privacy like that.

Morrigan noticed, and seemed appreciative of the unasked question. "Thank you, Inquisitor."

With the comfortable silence among them, Julius had time to truly think. In all ways but being read the writ of conscript, she had been made a Grey Warden. The time towards the end of her mortal coil had truly begun, and she feared her cowardice would take over. If healing the sky and defeating Corypheus didn't kill her, this new way of life would.

It was always give and take with this world, wasn't it? Give food, take life. Give power, cripple when used.

No… that wasn't the world as it naturally stood. It had been twisted, and she would be the one to right the wrongs.

"Well, we've gathered what we can from this desert." Parthena joined them, looking to the lightning with amusement.

"All that's left is to hunt and take down the Sandy Howler." Hawke added, glancing shiftily to Morrigan.

Julius also looked to the witch. It seemed something was budding there. Had Morrigan told Hawke of her son too?

"Do not look at me. Becoming a dragon is exhaustive; I shan't do it again today." Morrigan met Hawke's eyes, and Julius swore she saw the smallest of smiles.

"Don't worry, I'll just turn into a rat and dominate." Harlow dropped her voice, and Morrigan's lips twitched terribly.

Parthena playfully rolled her eyes, Julius chuckling as well.

"We'll see about that."

"Oh, before we do…" Parthena stood and made way to her tent. She withdrew a sketch pad and a piece of charcoal, returning to them.

"I wanted to immortalize our victory on those pesky varghests."

"Not the drawings again." Morrigan almost seemed to groan, and Harlow only lit up.

"Draw me like one of your Orlesians." She purred, sprawling onto her side in the sands.

"No." Parthena deadpanned, and Julius stood with a stifled smirk. The pile of varghests wasn't the most attractive, but she was sure the elder would actually draw them better.

It took the better half of two hours between posing and resting but Parthena finally excused the three. "I've got your basic shapes." She smirked faintly, sitting as the sun started to set. She would send the drawing with a letter back to Skyhold, and hopefully alleviate any concerns from their continued silence.

No one was to know Julius had almost died, and was now what she was.

"What about you?" Harlow questioned, about to turn in for the night.

"Sorry?"

"In the picture?"

"Oh, well I can't pose and draw at the same time. I know what I look like, and I'll add myself in later." Parthena chuckled softly, rubbing the nape of her neck.

"Oh, yeah. Makes sense… alright, goodnight." Harlow ducked into the tent she shared with Morrigan, a little nervous about being alone with the witch after their day.

Parthena watched after her before turning her attention back to the drawing. Everything was changing, so rapidly. Even her friends.

Into the night she sketched until an almost realistic rendition of the four of them was on parchment. She neglected adding colors as it may ruin the charcoal, and instead gently blew across the paper to clean it of any residue.

The Hero of Ferelden, the Champion of Kirkwall, the Witch of the Wilds, and the Herald of Andraste. Parthena chuckled softly as she admired the drawing, sealing it into a proper envelope with wax. She whistled lowly of a three-part tune, and a raven descended onto her extended forearm to take it.

"To Leliana, no one else." Parthena fed the raven a small mouse from her pouch, and sent it off.

She wondered how many more letters she could stand to scribe; how many sketches she could create before her vision was lost completely. Sighing, she turned in for the night herself; contemplating whatever future awaited them.

—

She was always staring up, these past few nights. Up at the fabric of her tent, blocking her view of the night sky. Of the stars.

Releasing a low breath, the redheaded woman sat up. She really ought to be sleeping, and yet here she was. Exiting her tent, the Inquisitor sat just outside of it and gazed up. The stars were much easier to see all the way out here; away from any sort of civilization. The Hissing Wastes were free; no one to control the land or the creatures that reside here.

She wished she could be free. She wished she had never picked up that orb. Try as she may to follow Morrigan's advice, Julius was sure everyone would be better off without her.

She started this, in her greed for power. She was so arrogant to think that she could have the orb and reshape the world as she saw fit. How ludicrous. But, if Corypheus had grabbed the orb, the world wouldn't be here at all.

At least she hadn't destroyed it just yet. Chuckling quietly to herself, Julius gazed back up to the stars. Perhaps somewhere in an alternate world, there was another person just like her. Being forced to make these decisions and choosing something else. Perhaps even the complete opposite of her own choices.

Would this person have been good from the start, as opposed to herself being a warlord? Would their memories have been intact?

Yet, if she herself hadn't lost her memory after touching the orb, what would she be? Probably a more effective leader… exactly what the envy demon had made her see. Effectiveness did not equal to violence, but if she had retained the memory of who she had been, it's exactly what would have happened.

She wouldn't have cared about Josephine; in fact she would have dismissed the ambassador on their first meeting and instead seduced the barmaid back in Haven. Ayre would have destroyed Corypheus by now. But by doing so, she would have destroyed any essence of how the world was.

Julius sighed, laying back in the sand to watch the stars. She was glad she had lost her memory, but she wished it would have stayed lost. She couldn't stand knowing who she had been-maybe no one really could. The longer you try to bury the past, the more corpses there are to tally.

—