Chapter Seventeen: A Smile – and Perhaps, a Tear

Selphie gave herself one last look in the mirror before heading out the door for breakfast and was surprised to see Sally and Dawn in their Garden uniforms standing across the hall from her door. "Hey, you two!" she greeted happily with a wave as she bounded over to them. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, chief," Sally greeted while her redheaded companion waved.

"Were you waiting for me?" Selphie asked with a broad smile as she bounced to a stop in front of her friends. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Not yet," Dawn replied with a shake of her head. "We were hoping to eat with you and talk."

"Sounds great!" the perky brunette chirped, and the three of them started down the hallway toward the cafeteria. "What'd you want to talk about?"

"Well…" Sally faltered, unsure of how to phrase her question as well as its timing.

"Is something wrong?" Selphie asked, glancing worriedly over at her junior. "Are you and Zell having problems? I'd have a hard time believing that, but…"

"No, no, it's not that," the petite girl replied, her pigtail wagging with the shake of her head.

Selphie slowed to study the younger girl before smiling sympathetically. "Well, I guess it can wait until we're sitting down and eating."

"Okay. Thank you."

They made their way into the cafeteria and collected their meals, then headed to a table in one of the far corners; students tended to gather at the tables closest to the entrance, so they would be able to talk with a reasonable expectation of privacy. "So, what's up?" Selphie asked as she poked a fork into a pile of fluffy scrambled eggs. "You two seem pretty serious this morning."

Sally's chewing slowed as she exchanged a glance with Dawn as though to ask Do you want to ask her? "I'm…not sure how to ask this, but…"

"Just spit it out," Selphie replied cheerfully, then wrinkled her nose. "Just the question, though; not your breakfast, please."

Sally giggled before taking a deep breath. "Okay, how to begin…"

"We've noticed some…unusual behavior from you toward the commander over the last couple of days," Dawn jumped in.

"We're not trying to imply that we think you're doing anything wrong, though, ma'am!" Sally quickly added while waving the hand not holding her fork. "It's just…"

"The way you act towards Commander Leonhart is more what I'd expect to see from…well…" Dawn trailed off, stuck by a sudden bout of awkwardness.

"Oh, for goodness' sake!" Selphie exclaimed, feigning ignorance even as a familiar ache started to form in her chest. "Squall and I are friends! We fought alongside each other! Of course we're going to seem close; we are!"

"Are you attracted to Command Leonhart?" Sally suddenly blurted before covering her rapidly-reddening face.

Selphie's breath caught in her throat…along with a piece of egg, and Dawn quickly rounded the table to thump her back as she tried to expel the offending morsel. "Th-Thank you," she was finally able to sputter in a raspy voice.

"Drink some of your water, chief," Sally suggested, nudging Selphie's water glass in her direction as Dawn reclaimed her seat.

As she drank the cool, clear liquid, Selphie's brain wracked itself trying to find a way to avoid answering the question. Unfortunately she still hadn't come up with anything by the time she set her empty glass back on the counter, so she tried playing 'airhead': "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your question."

"You're treating the commander like he's your boyfriend," Dawn said matter-of-factly, not buying Selphie's ruse for a moment. "Are you interested in dating him or something?"

"D-Dating…?" Even though the question was not unexpected, it still caught her off-guard. "Wh-Why would I be interested in dating Squall?"

"I don't know why you, personally, would be," Sally admitted. "But he's strong, both in body and spirit, he's handsome, and he has a heart for others; a lot of girls find that attractive."

"W-Well…" Selphie internally cringed as the younger girl's words hit her in the heart like an arrow.

"Kara's all but made a shrine out of the elixir bottle she tried to give him when he saved her from the collapsing second floor," Dawn remarked.

Selphie felt another arrow to her heart as she remembered trying to coax the female SeeD away from her cru-from Squall. "Sh-She did?"

Dawn nodded solemnly. "Of course she'd use it if she had to, but she'd prefer not to. Anyway, I was talking with her yesterday and she said she was planning on approaching him at tonight's dance to try and comfort him; everyone knows about what happened between him and Sorceress Rinoa, so…" She spread her hands in a shrug. "Most of the girls are too intimidated to even try to talk to him, but I think she's really going to go for it."

Panic seized Selphie's body, and she mashed one hand to her face and her fork rattled against the side of her tray as her hand shook. "N…No…"

"You love him, don't you?" Sally asked softly as she tried to gauge her senior's expression. "It's okay, you know?"

"Please don't tell anyone," the normally-perky girl whimpered, dropping her fork to finish covering her face. "Especially not Squall."

"We won't; we promise," Sally replied as Dawn shooed away a curious onlooker. "But what are you going to do? It's obvious that you can't keep going on like this; you're going to wreck yourself."

"Bu-But I can't burden him with my feelings!" Selphie shuddered from behind her hands. "He's still hurting from Rinoa, and…and…"

"Then be there for him."

Selphie's panic cut off abruptly at Dawn's simple statement, allowing her to take several measured breaths. "That makes sense, but I'm not sure why."

Dawn glanced over at Sally, who nodded her approval so she continued. "Just be there for him. We women are supposed to be there for our men, right? That's how I am toward Jim, you know."

"I feel the same way towards my Zell," Sally added. "When he's had a rough day, I want to be a 'soft place for him to fall', as the saying goes."

Selphie's hands slowly lowered from her reddened and teary face as she listened.

"We girls have read so many mushy romance novels that we think there needs to be a bunch of drama around love," Dawn remarked with a disgusted curl of her lip. "But real romance doesn't have to be like that." Her expression softened as she leaned forward to lay a hand on top of Selphie's, intensity in her rich, green eyes. "If you want to be his girl, act like his girl; laugh at his jokes, praise him, but most of all: be a comforting presence for him. No demands, no expectations, just give, be supportive."

Selphie found herself surprised by how much that described her desires. "That's weird… That's exactly what I want to do." She dabbed her eyes with her napkin. "I want to be his smile when he loses his. I want to be a… What did you call it?" she asked Sally. "A soft place to fall? I mean, sure, I'd want to be loved by him, but I know I can't make him do that."

"Model the behavior you want to see," Dawn suggested with a knowing smile. "Or, in this case, the kind of person you want to see."

"Why are you attracted to him?" Sally asked. "Why do you think you two belong together?"

Selphie knew exactly why but took a moment to think of how to phrase her answer. "I…feel like we complement each other. It's like… He's strong where I'm weak and I'm strong where he's weak."

Dawn blinked, clearly impressed. "Damn. If that's true, chief, then I think you two would be perfect for each other."

"But I don't want to stress him out," Selphie whined, returning to her prior concern, but then paused. "But…if it's okay for me to be there for him like I want to and like you've just said…"

Sally and Dawn exchanged a glance, both internally breathing sigh of relief at the hope that started to glow in the chief's eyes.

As had become a custom of sorts, the group met at their usual spot at the back of the Quad.

"Ya know, we've got to stop meeting like this," Zell joked as the group took their seats, once again in the same places as the two days prior.

"I don't mind," James replied with a grin. "Dawn and I have watched several movies by ourselves, but it's nice to watch one together with comrades."

"'Friends'," Zell corrected with a gleam in his eye, then alternated pointing between himself and the younger SeeD. "J-Man, as far as I'm concerned, you and me are homies."

The others chuckled and Dawn smiled affectionately at her man as he sputtered out an expression of gratitude.

"So what's this movie about?" Squall asked, trying to save his subordinate further embarrassment. "It's only fifty minutes; doesn't seem like it'd be much of a movie."

"It was made back in the early days of filmmaking, sir; films were a lot shorter back then," James informed the group, taking on the role of expert. "'The Orphan' is a silent, black-and-white film by the late Tommy Taylor of Centra and is about an abandoned boy who is taken in and cared for by the Vagabond."

"That explains the length," Squall mused. "I know about some of his shorter films, but I've never heard of this one."

"I think you'll like this, sir," James said, smiling over at his superior. "The Vagabond shows a noble character in this film."

"Then I'm glad we picked it!" Selphie exclaimed, though she sounded subdued, a striking contrast to her usual bubbly self, and Sally and Dawn exchanged a glance as the lights started to dim.

"ohmygooooosh.." Sally whimpered as the lights came back on. "That was sooo cute!"

"A smile and a tear indeed," James agreed in his own way before pressing a tissue to his face: next to him, Dawn was busy trying to make her reddened eyes presentable again. "I've not seen this in a long time, so I'd forgotten how…impactful it was. The music was beautiful as well."

"That was so sweet," Selphie sniffled, then turned to the young man next to her. "Squall, what did you-"

"So, what did you think of it, Puber-I mean, Squall?" Just like the day prior, everyone looked up in response to an arrogant tone to find Seifer standing before them, with Fujin and Raijin and the security detail following close behind; what surprised everyone, though, was the contrast between Seifer's typical sneer and the fact that his face was soaked, as though he was wearing his tears as a badge of honor. "That rooftop chase was the shit, wasn't it?"

Selphie looked over at her friend and froze; like everyone else, Squall's eyes were wet, but his expression was furious. "He loved that boy, that's for sure," she heard him agree.

"Damn straight!" Seifer retorted, then cleared his still-constricted throat. "That's what a real man is supposed to be like, right?"

"Damn straight!" Zell hollered as he pumped a fist, then blinked as he realized that he'd used the same phrase as his archenemy.

"His dedication to parenting the boy was admirable," James added, clearing his throat to try to clear the residual emotion. "Feeding him, clothing him, caring for him…"

"Dude, aren't you going to clean yourself up or something?" Zell asked Seifer as Sally offered a tissue.

"Tch. I'm not afraid of a few tears," he scoffed. "If I can feel, that means I'm alive, right?"

"IMPORTANT," Fujin intoned.

"Ya gotta be alive to be able to love, ya know?" Raijin added, apparently translating his partner's statement to something more intelligible. "And Seifer feels and Seifer loves so he's alive, ya know?"

The group exchanged awkward glances. "That…sounds kinda weird, but it makes sense," Selphie sniffled, then giggled. "…I think."

"Thanks for the wipe, Miss Regal," Seifer said as he reached down toward Sally, who quickly offered the tissue again, though with a look of surprise. "Hey, just because I'm alive doesn't mean I need to go around showing it off all the time, right?"

"R-Right," Sally squeaked, intimidated by the intensity in the tall man's blue-green eyes.

Seifer finished cleaning his face, then leaned down to look into his rival's fierce expression. "Jeez, Squall, you look pissed. But don't worry; later I'll show you a fight you won't ever forget."

"Maybe he doesn't want to fight you?" Selphie retorted.

"Maybe you should let him speak for himself," Seifer replied, mocking her tone of voice. "Jeez, Tilmitt; Squall's a big boy now."

Dawn bristled at his tone until her boyfriend gently took hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze, and she looked over to see him shake his head ever so slightly.

"Don't let me down, Squall." Then, before anyone could say anything else, Seifer turned on his heel and started out of the Quad, waving over his shoulder as he left. "See you all at the dance tonight." Fujin and Raijin quickly followed, along with the security detail.

"Is it just me, or has that guy gotten weirder?" Zell asked, more to himself than anyone else.

"Squall, are you okay?" Selphie asked her still-furious-faced friend.

"Yeah, what's eatin' you, dawg?" Zell added with a lopsided grin. "Didja get some bad popcorn or something?"

Squall's jaw worked vigorously before he spoke. "It's…" He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair; the motion drew Selphie's attention, to the mild amusement of the others. "It's the Orphan's dad…or, rather, his so-called dad."

Everyone knew who he was talking about; early in the movie the Orphan's father was shown consulting with an associate of some kind and knocked the photo of the Orphan's mother from the fireplace mantle into the fire. He retrieved it, only to toss it back in to burn as he returned his attention to his associate and his work. "Yeah, he was a real jerk," Dawn replied sympathetically. "I can't believe he'd brush her off like that, what with a baby and all."

"Ooooo, that baby was sooo cute!" Selphie gushed, momentarily forgetting her distress over Squall's situation. "The way he smiled at the Vagabond after he wiggled his mustache?" She squealed and kicked her legs as much as the beanbag seat's padding would allow.

"So what bothered you about the father?" James asked, genuinely curious.

"He… He just abandoned her!" Squall fumed, thrusting a hand at the blank screen. "And he abandoned his son! That boy needed a father, and… I mean, I'm glad that what's-his-name took care of him…"

"The Vagabond," Sally reminded politely.

"…the fact is that asshole still abandoned him!" Squall got to his feet and started to pace, unable to sit any longer; Selphie gasped, unused to her friend's use of profanities. "Son-of-a- bitch!

"Fuck him, amiright?" Zell said in support of his friend and comrade.

"Zell!" Sally exclaimed, shocked by her man's language.

Squall stopped short as his rattled brain finally processed what he and his friend had just said. "I-I'm sorry…" he murmured as he covered his face with a shaky hand.

Of course his distress was hard to miss, and Selphie quickly got to her feet and trembled her way to his side. "C'mon, Squall; l-let's get you to your room where you can vent, o-okay?"

Squall said nothing, but nodded several times with his hand still over his face.

"Excuse us," Selphie addressed the rest of the group as she took Squall by the arm. "We'll s-see you tonight, 'k?"

"Yeah, later peeps," Zell said in farewell, while Sally and Dawn exchanged a subtle 'air-high-five'.

Selphie handed Squall a glass of water as he sat on the couch in his quarters; as Commander of the Unified Gardens, Squall had specially designated quarters in the event he had to visit for an extended period of time. "Here you go, Squall."

"Thanks," he grunted as he accepted the proffered glass and took a sip.

She moved to sit next to him on the couch, but not too closely. "It's…about Sir La- I mean, Laguna, isn't it?" She saw Squall's jaw work as furiously as it had back in the Quad so she figured she'd nailed it. "Do you feel like he abandoned you and your mother?"

Squall huffed a sigh. "Yes and no. I figure he didn't know she was pregnant when he went off on his half-cocked crusade to find Ellone, but it still…" He pressed his free hand to his mouth in an effort to stop the tears from flowing. Tears of abandonment, tears of-

"I'm so sorry," Selphie murmured, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and it occurred to her that Squall may have had it the worst out of all of Edea's orphan's; while the rest of them truly had lost their fathers to the Sorceress War, Squall had lost his to his father's impulsiveness. Alive, but absent. "I…can't imagine what it's like for you right now, but I'd like to help if I can."

He glanced over at her and allowed a smile to flicker across his face as he patted her on the knee. "Thanks. That means a lot to me." He snorted. "I feel bad for you, though, listening to me whine about my dad when your parents are…well…with what you've been through…"

"I was just thinking about that, actually..." Selphie replied before giving him a brief description of her thoughts on the matter. "…so, in a way, I think you have it worse than the rest of us."

He snorted again. "I'd have to disagree, but I don't have the strength to argue the point right now. Thank you, though."

She simply smiled affectionately as she waited for him to speak again.

There were several moments of silence before he glanced over at her again and chuckled. "I'd better let you get out of here; I don't want to infect you with my sour mood."

"You won't infect me, Squall," she replied with a shake of her head and a twinkle in her eye. "If anything, I think you'd end up being infected by my cheerfulness."

It wasn't a hearty laugh but Squall laughed nonetheless, feeling his mood lift a little. "Thanks Selphie, but I have preparations to make before tonight and I believe you do, too."

"All right," she grudgingly conceded, her smile still in place as they both rose from the couch. "Just…don't turn back into a fuddy-duddy after I leave, 'k?"

He checked again as they made their way to the door. "I won't; I promise," he replied while raising his hand as though taking an oath, drawing a fit of giggles from her. "See you later." He reached out to press the button that would open the door, but he paused briefly before shifting his gaze to her. "Hey, Selphie?"

"Y-Yes…?" she stammered at the unreadable expression on her friend's face.

He said nothing, but lowered his hand from the console only to reach out and wrap her in an embrace. "Sorry," he murmured over the shoulder of the now-wide-eyed girl. "I meant to ask first."

It was a 'buddy' hug, but it still took her by surprise, shaking her to her very being. "Th-Th-That's okay…" she managed as she wrapped her arms around him as well, her hands sliding up his back to rest near his shoulder blades. "I…I…I'm h-here for you."

He eventually broke the hug, backing away to a respectful distance and with another unreadable expression. "I…appreciate that. Thanks." With that he quickly turned and pressed the button to open the door to his waters. "S-… See you later."

"Yeah…later…" She left the room, her mind in a daze as it tried to process what had just happened. As she approached her room, however, her mind started to clear, allowing her to come up with a plan…