A/N: Oh boy, to say this chapter has been a doozy would be an understatement. It's gone through a lot of work and rewriting for the past few weeks, and I'm for the most, satisfied with how it came out in the end.
Alright, so getting away from my writing rants, I want to give a shoutout to The Great Dullahan- Shinji wasn't using an EVA per se, it was an Entry Plug Simulation similar to the training exercise used in Episode-02. As for the EVA Shinji was using in the simulation test, I'd guess it to be a Mark.06 or Unit-01 model.
I don't know, I'll leave that to you all to think about! Hehehe...
Neon Genesis Evangelion (TV Anime and Manga), End of Evangelion, Evangelion: Death and Rebirth, and the Evangelion Rebuild series are owned by Hideki Anno and written by Yoshikuki Sadamoto. I own no characters, locations nor elements or songs from the original Manga, Anime, or Rebuild/EoE movies. I own only OC Shiro Ikari. Please support future Evangelion Rebuild releases.
That Said, Please Enjoy The Show!
Chapter 15: The Coming Approach
SCC Sarenidomu, Pacific Ocean
"I don't see the point in you insulating Section-31 incapability to support us, Ikari." Fuyutsuki looked towards Gendo, who took the time to look over his desk display after his meeting with Section-31. So far, only 10 of the 30 Production Facilities were currently active, meaning the factories were either lost to the environment or salvaged for parts by Section-31. "They've handled themselves on their own, even if their commanders are flawed."
"I didn't expect Cypher to react so childishly. For him to think I care about his expectations, and to think my mere words were enough to instigate him to combat, " Ikari inquired, sliding his hand over the desk to switch back to another project. "That alone shows me their ability to cooperate with us is forfeit."
"Admittedly, with the loss of SEELE, Section-31 is in question about the change in guidance. But perhaps the attack on Paris will the boost of self-confidence they need, to cooperate with us." The elder stated, fixing his collar slightly as he overlooked the ocean below. "Still, what are you hoping for, Ikari? You and I both know you're making a risky play sending out Cypher to handle WILLE subjectively."
"What makes you assume that?" Gendo's visor gleamed as he spoke, so the man wouldn't bother to look to see Fuyutsuki's puzzled stare.
"Aside from the obvious factor of Evangelion, the boy will find necessity rather than an obligation in taking back Wunder in the name of Armaros and SEELE. And we both know revenge is a dish not easily taken, especially not by Evangelion."
"Unit-16 is a prototype, Professor even if altered to Section-31's criteria. Whether or not it is destroyed or seized is of no relevance to us, not with Armaros and Towart in our possession." Gendo remarked, standing up for the first time since NERV. He motioned, and the pair left the bridge down the dark hallway of the vessel. "Besides, WILLE is skeptically the source of Cypher's hatred, it's only natured to that which he seeks most to him on a silver platter."
"Even if means his rage will blind him?"
It's human nature to want revenge, Fuyutsuki. It's in our blood, selfish desire to condemn the damned of this hell. Section-31 is no different, they seek revenge for the world which left them, and perhaps they may even have it." Gendo rebuked. "But it will only happen because I allow it to. Cypher and his senseless commanders have kept their distance from me, out of my grasp even, and the loss of NERV proves how insufficient their obligation is to support me. So, I'll simply use it to my advantage. I will remind them that they were nothing without the means I provided them. They are as human as any one of us."
"Even you?" Fuyutsuki raised a brow at that, and Gendo simply smirked.
"I am no exception to this rule, I admit. My hatred brewed when I lost Yui to Evangelion-to SEELE. And whilst they may be dead and lost to the winds of time, their deaths have done little to soothe my anger towards the world, the world that failed itself in the end. No-my vengeance will not be satisfied until Yui is in my arms once more."
"And what of your sons, then?" Fuyutsuki continued, making the NERV Commander fall quiet. "You know she'll want you reunited together, whether you want it or not."
"In the end, our reunion will end in death. But if that's what it takes to see Yui, alive or not, then so be it. I will burn this world in the fire of all Impacts, from 1st to 5th if I must. I will not allow anything else to stand in my way, no man, woman, or child."
So this is how far you've fallen, Fuytsuki thought sadly. Willing to give up your sons to a cause that, at this point, may not even be worth fighting for. Hell, I'm sure it never worth fighting for, to begin with. At this point, you're simply suing Yui as a placeholder to get back at the world.
"So who do you assume will come to understand your selfish desire first? Shinji or Shiro?"
"Shinji is a victim to the world like me, a boy rejected by love and family in the name of an ideal future, the future which humanity destroyed itself. And Shiro...?" In the small moments where Gendo went quiet, the old professor pondered if it were that he was trying to find the right words, or he simply didn't have a true answer to it. Finally, he spoke. "Shiro's hatred for me came the moment I split him from Shinji. His inability to watch him, to guard him, make him grow deep in resentment. And it only grew more after the tests, the Keel boy, and Bardiel all fell atop his shoulders."
"But soon, they will see why my evil is necessary for peace. In time, they will come to us and by the time they do," He smirked darkly, a look of malicious might hiding below the red visor. "We will be more than ready."
"So we hope," Fuyutsuki added.
"But for now, we must improvise. Armaros was strong, but the pilot was insufficient. His lust for torturing his enemies blinded him to WILLE's ability to improvise in his… episodes."
He remarked, starting up the tram system. It was similar to Wunder's- a simple metal tram cart held connected by a long wire which allowed it to roar across the belly of Sarenidomu. "And it's clear the Dummy Plug system, while easy to process, can easily be hijacked and turned against us. I need a weapon that can think and act better than Lilin and machine, without the need to rely on emotions or commands."
"And you believe Armaros holds this key?" Fuyutsuki persisted, taking a seat. "Pray tell, do you to reclone the pilot?"
"The EVA yes, but Akabe Keel is no use to us. Even if he survived the fall of the Black Moon, his body will remain intact, unable to decompose. That is the curse of Lilith and Adam's forbidden connection, the Curse of Evangelion." Gendo purred, letting the tram ride forward into the dark hangar. Lights came on to reveal Armaros' body. It was damaged slightly; the left leg armor was exposed, the shoulders were broken, several pieces of black armor were crack across the frame, and the head was cracked gravely. But it was nothing Sarenidomu could not fix.
"To think, such a young man who had a bright future ahead would fall this far." Fuyutsuki mourned nonchalantly.
"Akabe's belief in justice was tarnished when his brother fell to Bardiel. And when he learned the bond Shiro and Vincent had, he snapped." The elder Ikari continued, running a gloved hand across Armaros' larger palm. Smooth, yet rigid with cracks across the glossy form. "In the end, it was only the research we needed. With it, we will bring back one of our more… notable members."
"Another BM-Specimen?"
Gendo shook his head. "No, something vaster. I need something will strike the soul, enough to harm WILLE and NEVEC from the inside out. And this Evangelion and its core, are the key to that."
Hangar Bay Level 2, NEVEC Headquarters
Deep in NEVEC Headquarters, mobilization was in full swing. Troops rushed up ramps, important crates were lowered into large decks, and technicians ran or barked orders to prepare the newest transport for flight. The vessel was big, only half the size of the Black Narwhal in comparison.
It was built with a triangular front that acted as a large catapult runway, connecting to a rectangular body that ended only with two pairs of twin engines, separated by a huge rudder blade in between. Before the aft tail was the bridge, which consisted of two command bridges situated atop a large outer hangar bay, with a secondary hangar positioned before even that. The sigil of NEVEC sat on the tail, with the words "US NEVEC WHITE SUN" painted on the lower half of the front body.
"So again, remind why we're taking this spaceship?" Within the White Sun's bridge stood Shiro beside Shinji and Musashi. Mana and Kensuke had taken to entering the ship's quarters, while Touji and Kaji remained behind with NEVEC HQ. "It seems like a waste of resources with the Narwhal here."
"Because the Black Narwhal is needed on the East Coast close to the capital, we can't travel below the radar. So, instead of going underwater, we'll go above it. We're taking this space assault ship to get close enough for the stealth jet to get you on Wunder when we reach France." Musashi explained. "It's the only ship available as the rest of our forces are on guard with Ikari loose and Wunder in the sky, so the government doesn't want to take the risk of losing anything to either part."
"Okay, I get that part," Shinji stated, looking down the long runway. "So why don't we just take the stealth jet and leave this giant battleship here?"
"The stealth jet is sadly a prototype, so it can only get so far on standard and bingo fuel. Not to mention neither you nor Shiro have test piloted it, so there's that factor."
"Oh great.." Shinji groaned, rubbing his neck. He was hoping they wouldn't be flying, but luck just wasn't on his side anymore. But he did give props to whoever built the ship, they still held on account the design choice for the Black Narwhal, and that was easily seen considering the ship looked like the top of an aircraft carrier with the bridge towers at the back.
Shiro gave him a reassuring look. "Hey, look on the bright side!" Shinji gave him a dry look as he grinned. "You have me as a company. Not to mention Touji and the others."
"Yeah, I guess I have that on my side…" Shinji remarked, overlooking the ship layout. "I'll admit, compared to Wunder and the Narwhal, this is pretty impressive."
"Yep, she's one of the first ships completed, so her crew had a good idea on what to expect in these types of stealths run." Musashi described, tossing his captain's hat into the command chair. "And considering we currently have 20, it safe to say WILLE will have another thing coming if they try to invade."
"Yeah, but don't forget they have their own battle fleet guarding the ship. It'll be difficult to get past them all."
Musashi smirked. "All the better. Alright, all hands, prepare for departure!" He ordered, and like lightning, crewmen began buzzing and working as fast as they talked. The ship's engine cells hummed to life as the smaller engine cells glowed brighter. Cargo trucks floored it and crane shifted away at the carrier began to rise, the large landing gear systems entering the hull as the ship gently pulled out the dry dock and into the water.
Slowly the ship began to turn, taking up space at it rose higher and higher until the towers first appeared out of the water. Military sirens blared as the White Sun arose into the bright sunny day, the bottom engines coming to life and boosting the ship up.
"Main reactors online!"
"All hands aboard, sir!"
"Vehicle units accounted for and locked down."
"Anti-A.T Field system at 59% and rising steadily!"
"Hangar bay's are locked down!"
"Artillery systems, 9-18 are standing by."
"Sub-Commander Strasberg, Captain Ikari? We're on schedule and ready to take flight." Musashi nodded, looking towards Shiro and Shinji.
"Perfect!" Musashi exclaimed, looking over to a smirking Shiro, with his arms crossed. "We're all set, Captain. So, where to?"
"Paris, Old France. I feel itchy to see the supposed "City of Love'." he declared, determination flaring across his face. He turned towards the chair, pressing a side button before turning with crossed arms. "Attention, crew of the White Sun!"
"This is Captain Shiro Ikari, former pilot of Evangelion Unit-Null and head of NEVEC." His voice radiated off the ship's many internal speakers, gaining attention from all across the ship as he spoke. "I stand before you all embarking on the first official mission against WILLE in 5 years. While that may seem like a good timespan not being at each other's throats, it seems fate tells us otherwise today. Our mission is straightforward: Infiltrate the UN flagship, the AAA Wunder and steal whatever information we can. Our course trajectory will take us deep into the SEELE Dead Zone of Old France, occupied by NERV militia Section-31. Our communications with NEVEC Headquarters will be disabled, and we will be on our own.
"But the White Sun has something many ships in the UN are not known for. You." He continued. "We've come to understand in this world that there is no such thing as "the unknown," but rather temporarily hidden. And today we are hidden no more. Today we make the first strike, against NERV, against SEELE, against Section-31 and WILLE with hell at our backs, and we show those lapdogs why you don't screw with us!"
"Damn right!" A crewman called.
"He's right, we're done hiding."
"Yeah, let's show those fuckers who boss!"
"Let's give them hell!"
"To NEVEC!"
"To NEVEC!" Musashi declared alongside, finally yelling, "All engines, ahead flank! Let's show those bastards who they fucked with! To France!"
"To France!" The crew chanted, live with energy and hope as the White Sun roared across the land and into the Pacific Ocean.
Shiro turned towards Shinji with a grin. "Pays to give hope to those in need," He said, making his way to the far door. "C'mon, let's leave the crew to their work. Let's look for our quarters, we need to work on something for you."
"For me?" Shinji asked.
Crew Quarters Deck-04, US White Sun
"So this is what it's like to fly?" Shinji found himself overlooking the passing sea as the White Sun flew. By now it was closing in on nightfall, the sunset was calming in Shinji's eyes. Helped ease the worry building up.
"Not used to flying?" Shiro asked, walking up with a pair of soda cans. The room they were in was large compared to what they'd expected. It was a simple oval-shaped room with corners, several beds for the group, a wall-mounted mini kitchen and fridge, and a patio-like lookout. Mana and Touji were fast asleep in their beds, while Kensuke was with Musashi on the bridge.
"Not used to flying without getting shot." He chuckled. The pair drank simply, talking and pondering as to what would come in the next hours. Both knew what to expect, or at least Shinji did. Shiro couldn't stop the sinking feeling he had, and every time he thought about her it got worse. "I wonder what'll happen when we get there… If we'll even see one another."
"I hope not," Shinji said, glancing at his gloved hand. "I honestly hope she'll be on the bridge screaming about what to shoot and when. Knowing Asuka she'll be with Mari or on the ground, raising hell. I'm almost terrified to know just what'll happen if she discovers us aboard."
"I know what you mean. All this time, Misato's presumed I'm still dead but if we face off…" He trailed, discovering he never bothered to consider what would happen at that moment. "It's what she's become that scares us, isn't it?" He didn't reply. Shiro sighed sadly. "I know, it… It's a tough pill to swallow. Even now, I can't believe the things she has done to others."
"It's just that… I-I can't wrap my head around it. I know I should but even after the collar, the glove, and Kaworu I…." Shinji fumbled with his words, a distressed look on his face as he spoke. "I just can't believe this is Misato we're going up against."
"I know what you mean. Truth be told, I always thought it would be Akagi or someone else from Old NERV who would take charge. I guess as the months become years, and hope we'd find the real you faded, her hope and drives faded too." Shiro said painfully, looking to his hands with an ashamed stare. "I know it was the fear of losing more people that drove her to change, but sometimes I wonder if it was me who drove her to hide her emotions?"
"What do you mean?"
"You of all people know I don't see eye to eye with how we do things, Shinji. When it came to Gendo and me, it was apparent but I still forced my emotions aside for the good of others, the welfare of you. I guess in one sense she saw how I controlled my emotions and wanted to follow the same idea- bury your emotions in and stick to your guns. But, she forgot to open back up about it. It's not always are actions that make us who we are, it's our emotions too. They separate us from the monsters, from going down dark paths."
"Dark paths…" Shinji hummed at his response, and the brothers grew silent. They stayed quiet for a while, letting sea pass by before Shinji asked, "Do you think things could have been different? You know with NERV and WILLE and the UN and Misato..."
"Genuinely speaking?" Shiro's voice grew disheartened and sad as he spoke. "I think about it every day. I think of the times where we weren't at each other's throat, where there wasn't so much hate. When we were friends. Family, even... I think about that day, what we did, what we said, where we went wrong. Where I went wrong. I know I've always been held high in regards to my beliefs and actions, but... as much as I am, as much as I hate Misato, I am to blame for what happened."
"Shiro, no…" Shinji argued. "You can't be serious! You couldn't have known Misato would... Lash out like that, no one could have!"
"Even so, I should have!" Shiro counted, looking to him. The look in his eyes made Shinji's heart swell up. "I should have seen it, Shinji. Saw the person she was becoming, the pain she had for everyone. Instead, I… I gave into my anger and grief, and I made her fear and paranoia worse. She came back a monster, worse than Rokubungi even."
"Shinji, I've always thought about what could have changed, what could have been done if the situation was different. Sometimes, there are good endings, other times not so much." Shiro continued."I wonder about what Life could have been before even," He gestured out. "This. Before NEVEC, before WILLE or the Angels or before even NERV. I wonder what our lives would be like if Mom wasn't in Unit-01. If Gehirn had shut down the Evangelion plan…. If our lives weren't hell on Earth."
"And most of all I think about him…." Shinji paused and looked to his brother in confusion. Shiro didn't look back, staring into the deep ocean with sad eyes. Him? Does he mean Rokubungi? He thought.
"But, why? We both Gendo would have gotten involved in-"
"Shinji," Shiro stopped him, looking down. "I wasn't talking about father."
Now Shinji was confused. He assumed it was Gendo, but if it wasn't him then who? There were only a handful of people who came to mind when it came to Shiro's life- Misato, Gendo, Fuyutsuki possibly, SEELE, and… Oh, was all he could think. Him.
"But… Why? I thought you-" Shiro raised his hand, cutting him off.
He chuckled a bit. "No, I… I hated VEELE, I hated the man who had torn apart his own body and soul just to be greater than all. Greater than the Angels, greater than Gendo, greater than the whole damn world. I never once said I hated Vincent Keel."
"Keel? Wait, VEELE was…"
Shiro nodded. "Yep. Vincent was the son of Zath Keel and grandson of Lorenz Keel. He was my first ever real friend and one of the first pilots of Evangelion before you."
"But-Wait, I don't understand." Shinji shook his head. "You said VEELE was pure evil back then. He was a monster, he tortured you and harmed in so many ways."
"True," Shiro acknowledged. "I did. VEELE was, in fact, pure evil at its final moments. But Vincent Keel was the polar opposite to SEELE's masked lapdog. He was kind, friendly, compassionate, my first true friend in those long years in NERV US. The reality of our split never came from his obsession with harming others, but rather it came moment it arrived."
"It?"
Shiro seethed in anger. "That chrome demon… That thing….Evangelion Unit-04."
Flashback, NERV 2nd US Branch
Alarms blared all around as troopers rushed to guard and technicians barked orders to one another. "Okay, Commander! We're ready to lower the test prototype!" A technician yelled, giving a thumbs up to the observation deck above him.
"Solid copy, LT. You heard him, boys!" Cmdr. Ulysses called, turning around to see his crew working tirelessly to prepare the main chamber. "Get those doors open, and get that fucking mech in here! On the double!"
"Sir, yes sir!"
"Oh, boy. Looks like the Commander is pissed, wonder what's happening?" Shiro stood beside Vincent, softly speaking to not invoke the bald man's wrath. His hair was short, kept being a low fade to the sides and back with medium hair on his left side. His outfit consisted of a simple US NERV Plugsuit with black and dark blue colors, ankle-high black boots, and a black leather jacket.
"Knowing him, it's probably something about the men eating his breakfast biscuits." Unlike the 13-year old, Vincent Keel was a year older with light maroon eyes and dark silver hair which stopped just above his upper back. He wore a zipped up black-hooded jacket with red hemmings, grey pockets and matching flannel flaps, black leggings with red lines, short black shorts, and red/grey high boots. "But then again, who knows?"
"Heh, amen to that." The new warning alarm caught the boys' attention as chains begin rotating gears and metal runners groaned as the arriving cargo lowered. It didn't appear until the elevator platform arrived, revealing a leg of shiny feet which connected to a revealing humanoid body, mechanical shoulder blades, and a monstrous head. "Holy shit…"
"Is that… another Evangelion?" Vincent was taken back by the giant. It was sharp chrome, with black arms and red accents across the chest, shoulder blades, ankles, and head. There was also red armor which sat on the stomach, lined which white which gave the machine humanoid a superb look. "It's… It's beautiful."
"Ikari, Keel! Front and center on the double!" The pilots rushed forward, taking a saluting stance as Cmdr. Ulysses walked up to them with a dull look. "Quit your shitty act, I know you both hate my guts more than my goddamn wife. Now listen up!" They both lowered their guards. "NERV Command has seen fit to test their newest invention. I present to you maggots the latest in Commander Ikari's arsenal, Evangelion Unit-04!"
"Very… Shiny." Both had skeptical looks and mixed emotions in them. Vincent was both awestruck and troubled by this newcomer… yet, oddly excited by it. It was unique and it made their prototype EVA pale in comparison to it's fleshed out and seamless form.
But for Shiro… Well, he couldn't put his finger on it. The look the EVA had was one of virtue, maybe even purity to some. But to Shiro, it gave a very cold vibe to the boy. He couldn't make out what it was- maybe the colors? The red? The eyes? It had to be something, that or… maybe it was just him. "So um, Commander…. Who's EVA is this?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the humanoid mech.
"That's a good question, Ikari boy. After a lot of yelling and bitching and whining, the US finally got the better of your old man and got our boy, Keel here, to become the official test pilot of Unit-04!" The look of Vincent's face… It was priceless. It made Shiro snicker in laughter but also pale as the feeling he grew colder suddenly. Nevertheless, he was happy for his friend, and the clapping Vincent received helped him blend into the crowd of people happy for his best friend.
His friend was fulfilling his dream; he was becoming a pilot to save the world. And soon, Shiro would be by his side in Null-Unit. How better could it get?!
End Flashback
"Unit-04? Wait, I'm confused- Bardiel was in Unit-03 wasn't it? If that's the case then that means Unit-04 was the REAL Unit-03 and Bardiel was Unit-04 in different armor-Am I going to deep into this?" Shinji asked, getting a snicked as he paused his rant.
"Yeah, you kind of are. The reality is that, at the time, Bardiel didn't exactly have a physical form he would use, he was essentially a thunderstorm outside, so it wasn't a real threat then. But when Unit-04 came, the Angel managed to hijack and hide within the Core, acting invisible to our eyes until it was too late." Shiro explained. "Or at least a fraction of him did. As we saw in the Unit-03 incident, Bardiel was able to hijack it fully with Asuka piloting."
"No kidding. What do you mean by a fraction?"
"Well, it's a personal idea I've had since Kaworu explained he was the vessel of Adam's soul in a sense. So I figured that Bardiel did something of the same level. He couldn't fight us because he was a cloud and inside Unit-04's core, but when the test day came…" He trailed, frowning deeper. "That's when it all began to change."
"At first it was subtle, you know? Being in a hospital bed, Vincent was… quiet." The way Shiro continued began to feed a cold vibe down Shinji's spine. It didn't sit right as he spoke. "Not quite in the sense that he was unconscious and not breathing, far from it, he was awake, eyes open wider than ever before. Just… silent, thinking, you know? Calculating. Planning…"
"Over time, he grew sick. Not just mentally but physically, his body was struggling to adjust with the Angel DNA inside. The helmet he wore allowed him to breathe and see properly. It drove him nuts, forced to wear a respirator, forced to pilot a machine trying to kill him, all the pressure everyone put on us at the time, it all got to him. And eventually, he exploded and his victim was, well…." He gestured to his body, keeping his head down. "It was only two years later that I left, two years after he'd left that…"
Flashback, NERV 2nd US Branch
Shiro kept quiet as staff passed him by, walking slowly towards his room. This was one of the few areas he didn't enjoy going through anymore. Too many memories, good and bad. Too much pain to remember...
He breathes shallow, cold air, letting his prosthetic work as he moved. It was difficult to calibrate, both it and his new arm, after the surgery as the surgeons more or less let him loose afterward. It sucked, but it wasn't difficult to work on after reading on it.
As he walked through the hallway, Shiro froze when he heard a loud crash in the room before him. Glass pieces flew out, followed by a scream of untamed might. He knew exactly who it was, though the reason was more than likely a new one. He continued walking, only pausing when the door was a foot away from him. And then, Shiro heard something else, something… something he didn't expect. Was that…. Crying?
Shiro took a better look, peering inside. It was one of the restrooms on the base, the door was jammed into the wall. The roo was trashed-stall doors were thrown open, water was pouring in from the wall and sink pipes, and the glass mirror was shattered by a familiar object wedged in. It was VEELE's back mask, the black casing cracked and the screen fuzzing as the pilot himself sat slouched over a sink beside it.
"You know you were right about me…" He said softly, not noticing Shiro watching him. "About me being worthless. A disease, this… this cursed monster. About me being a freak. I'm a sadist, a demon, a monster in human clothing. And it wasn't even because of you…"
"I wonder what I would be like if I hadn't piloted Unit-04 then. If I had just kept piloting with Ikari in Unit Null." He continued. "Maybe I'd still be me. I'd still be good, be human again… But I can't be. I can't be, because you stole that from me. All of it… from me."
"...This world is rotten…" he whimpered, his ragged breaths cutting sharply as he spoke to himself. "This world is just a rotting, garbage nothing in the universe. It's made of nothing, housed by nothing, controlled by nothing. It's just a speck of just you want to take over. All it has are people with selfish desires. Commander Ikari, Commander Ulysses, Fuyutsuki, SEELE… All of them, still standing because of how they want the world to be...like me…"
"I had it all…" His body began shaking as his voice rose. "Everything… I had food, I had water, I had a family, I had friends. I had a brother who I never knew… A brother who piloted for the future of his brother. And while we may not have been of blood… He respected me. He trusted me. He cared for me. Knew me better than I know myself… And now, instead of being there for me, he hides in terror with plaguing nightmares, and broken body, because of me! Because of you!"
"And it's all your fault!" He bashed the shink in. "All of it! Everything I had! Everything I did! All the good I fucking did! All the joy and love and happiness I had! The family I had! The brother that loved me for who I was! The father who inspired me to save humanity from death's grace! The brother I never had!" He screamed, bashing the sink with his fists. "The friends I made! The love I lost! The mother who died for me! It was for nothing because of you! I lost it all because of you You stole my hope! You stole my future! YOU! STOLE! IT! ALL! FROM! ME!"
"I LOST EVERYTHING TO YOU, TO THAT FUCKING ROBOT! TO HIM! I HATE YOU!" He shrieked, the sink finally giving out and falling with a crash as he choked up. "YOU-YOU'VE T-TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME! ALL I HAVE IS MY HATRED! SHAME, RAGE, HATRED, HURTFUL-!" He fell forward, sliding down the wall as he began crying. "All… All I have is my loneliness now."
"It's all I have left..." He cried, letting his hair fall into his line of sight. He sniffled, letting out a sad chuckle. "Though I… suppose I've always been alone, right? A-Al-ways…" He let his head fall back, choking up in thought. "I have nothing left. Nothing to gain. Nothing to my name even. Just a nobody with a hole in his chest… and all I did was make his ten times bigger."
He continued to weep, crying into his pain as Shiro layed onto the wall, letting his tears follow suite.
End Flashback
"Oh my God. Shiro, I…" Shinji couldn't speak. How could he? What could he say? What could he do to soothe his brother's pain, the pain of not being able to help his friend as he fell into despair? "I'm so sorry. I never thought about VEELE that way, I-I always assumed he just-"
"That he had it out for me?" He asked, gulping with a shiver. "I-I know, I did for a while too..." He mumbled, looking at his can. "Sometimes I wonder what I could have done that day. What could I have said, did, what could I have done aside from just sit there and cry for my friend?"
"Shiro, you did do something for him. You brought him peace! He may have been evil, and monstrous to us but that Bardiel talking, not him. And we fought that day when we killed that Angel, we set him free. We brought back Vincent Keel. He may not be alive, he may not have been who he was in the moment, but we brought him peace." Shinji said to him, putting a hand to his shoulder. "And honestly? I think it's something he counted on you for."
"Hating and killing him?"
"Bringing him to peace." He finished solemnly. "Because he knew it would be you who could bring him back."
Shiro hummed softly, looking back out into the sky turned to night. "...Perhaps your right, little brother," he said softly, pulling himself up and turning to face Shinji. He had a tired look now, but unexpectedly, instead of falling forward he pulled Shinji into a hug. "Thank you…. For hearing and letting me vent."
Shinji smiled and returned the hug. "Anytime, it's what us brothers are for." He said, pulling back. "So what now?"
"For now though, I'm going to stay out here and think about what else we may need for tomorrow. For know, you can rest if you like."
"It's only eight thought!"
"True, but- and hear me out for a sec- counter argument- we have some training to do tomorrow morning."
Shinji paled. "Training?" He repeated.
"Yep, I wanted to start it sooner but we'll wait on it for tomorrow. To get your blood pumping for the mission." He explained, walking up and dropping in his bed, which was the opposite of Shinji's. "For now, you can relax if you want to. I'll see you in the morning."
Shinji chuckled, pulling out his S-DAT from his back. "G'night, man." He said, walking into the room. Shiro kept quiet, looking down towards the sea, thinking still about Vincent.
I wonder… Did you know it would come to this? Did you know you'd die that day or was that just it controlling you then? I wonder...
Flashback, NERV 2nd US Branch
Alarms blared as the screaming rose higher and higher, the growling, snarling sounds of Unit-04 echoing in the chamber. "Synchronization levels are off the charts!"
"Connections 6-9 are failing, I can't disable the main system!"
"Emergency shutdown codes are unresponsive, sir!"
"Sequence patterns are fading, I can't raise them any higher!"
"Pilot heart rate in increasing 130 BPM!"
"Activate LCL pressure increase-!"
"We CAN'T! Nothing's going into the system anymore!"
Another scream, louder than before and full of agony. "AAAUGHGHGH! OOOOH GGGGGODDODD… O GO-ODDDD W-WHWHHY…." He shrieked, his body gushing with all sort of agonizing pain in the worst ways possible. "GOD HELP ME. HELP ME! SOMEONE PLEASE… HELLLP MMMEEE!"
"We have to disable that damn robot!" Cmdr. Ulysses barked.
"Commander!" Shiro yelled, running to him. "Let me take out Unit Null! I can force the EVA down and rip out the Entry Plug with it!"
"Absolutely not! I ain't risking our best EVA to that thing!"
"If we don't, it'll kill him!"
"If it does, we'll replace him Ikari!"
"You can't be serious!"
"I sure as hell am!"
"He's my friend-I HAVE to help him!"
"It's not happening, Private! Deal with it!"
"Damn you!" Shiro roared, ready to lunge at the commander until he heard his voice.
"GOOOO-GOOOD HELP! HELP ME, SHIRO! HELP ME!" He screamed louder and louder. "KILLME….KILLMEKILLMEKILLMEKILLEKILLMEKILLMEKILLMEKILLE-JUST FUCKING KILL ME! KILL ME SHIRO!"
"Vincent…" Shiro breathed in horror, the pain building up in his chest. The pain turned to anger as he grabbed Ulyssess by this shirt, pulling him around and shaking him. "LET ME HELP HIM, DAMMIT!"
The Commander sneered, shoving the boy off him. "And I suppose you'll just go out and save him like a knight in shining armor, eh? Not happening, Private! I won't risk my men's lives over your petty ass needs! Corporal, get him out of here!" He snapped.
"Yessir!"
"No! NO! You can't do this to me!" Shiro wrestled against the guards, struggling and kicking as he screamed. "Damn you! Damn you to hell and back! You bastard monsters! You can't just let him die! He's my friend, my family! I have to help him! I NEED to! Vincent! VINCENT!"
End Flashback
Forgive me, Vincent. I left you there, in that EVA to die… His hands balled into fists and he could feel his eyes watering. I couldn't be there for you then, but I can stand for what we dreamed of now. He looked towards the room, towards a sleeping Shinji and smiled softly. For you and him. From now on, I look to the future, for all of us. I must.