"The crowd is truly alive tonight, Ed! They are more than excited for tonight's Main Event!" Jerry said, speaking directly into the announcer table mic.
"You said it, Jerry! Everyone here looks like they just woke up to some freshly toasted buttered toast!"
Jerry nodded in agreement.
"Now then, let's go live to three of our current wrestlers' LIVEY LIVE INTERVIEW with a few cast members of WWE!" Jerry The King Lawler yelled as the camera cut.
"Oh wow, it's the Undertaker! I love your work, man!" Marie said to the Undertaker.
The Undertaker stared at Eddy very angrily. Eddy looked like a bitch. This pissed The Undertaker off.
"Your face looks punchable." The Undertaker declared to Eddy.
"Well, at least my face isn't as ugly as yo--" *PUNCH* *PUNCH* *PUNCH*
Rey Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Sin Cara, Randy Orton, and Seth Rollins watched in horror as The Undertaker started beating the shit out of Eddy.
"Man fuck this noise, I'm going back to Triple A." Sin Cara declared in Spanish as he left the room.
"Eddy sure knows how to take a hit!" Ed commented.
"WAIT, A PILEDRIVER OUTSIDE OF THE RING?! IS THIS EVEN LEGAL??!" Jerry yelled as The Undertaker did a Tombstone on Eddy. This was not staged, though Jerry wasn't complaining.
"PLEASE NO!!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!" Eddy cried out.
"Rest… In… Peace…"
Eddy was tombstoned and suffered very painful, but not lethal, head trauma. Undertaker wasn't finished though, and quickly suplexed Eddy. As The Undertaker kept doing moves on Eddy, Marie admired his handiwork.
While this brutal beating was taking place, John Cena decided to start up a conversation with anyone.
"So, Brock...how's it feel to have the same first name as the guy from Venture Brothers?" John Cena asked.
"Good, actually. You know, it's always fun to have the same name as a cartoon character. Though I'm kind of jealous you were in Scooby-Doo." Brock Lesnar replied.
"YOU WITH THE STUPID TANK TOP! PLEASE HELP MEEEE!!!" Eddy pleaded while pointing at Seth Rollins.
Seth gave Eddy a very angry look.
"FUCK IT! LEMME IN THERE!!" Seth Rollins yelled, starting to beat Eddy up too.
Meanwhile, Brock Lesnar and John Cena continued their calm conversation.
"You know I was wondering. Would you rather do Velma or Daphne?" Brock asked.
"Neither! That shit's gay man." Marie commented.
"Well, it's like my dad told me once. 'Son, you are allowed to experience lesbian love.' So I'd do both at once, and also watch them!" John Cena replied smartly, being a man of culture.
Shane McMahon walked in and watched as Eddy was beaten. This gave him a great idea.
"Hey, Rey and Randy. If our rates are high enough for this show, then everyone will get a nice raise, and it seems like beating up that weird-looking guy is really bringing in the ratings."
Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton exchanged surprised looks, then joined in too. This was just to increase the ratings, but Eddy was still fun to beat nonetheless.
"Sorry fellas, gotta cut the interview short. Duty calls!" Brock Lesnar said to Marie and John Cena.
"WAIT WHAT??! NO NONONONO STOOOOP!" Eddy yelled as Brock grabbed him from behind.
Brock firmed his grasp on Eddy from the backside, proceeding to German Suplex the living shit out of him.
"AND LIKE THAT, EDDY JUST GOT TAKEN TO SUPLEX CITY!!!" Jerry commentated.
"He got suplexed like a T-Rex! ROOOOOOOAR!!" Ed added as he played with his dinosaur toys on the announcer table.
At that moment, Roman Reigns, Dolf Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, and King Corbin burst through the door and collectively started helping kick the shit out of Eddy as well. 'Macho Man' Randy Savage burst through the wall, red white and blue hat on, ready to kick some wholesale ass.
"The *BLEEP*? I thought you were dead, or at least retired!!" Marie yelled.
"I got sent here by some Buttered Toast girly guy, YEAH!" Randy Savage replied as he did a clothesline on Eddy.
As Eddy laid beaten on the ground, everyone got ready to slam down on him at the same time. Before they could though, the Spies walked in.
"What the fuck?! Are you all seriously beating up Eddy before us?!" Alex yelled, visibly pissed off.
The wrestlers all started to sweat and eyed the exit. Shane was already long gone. He was aware of the ratings the Spies could bring in, but not willing to get directly involved.
"You fuckers better run, or we'll COCK AND BALL TOURCHER EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!!!" Sam screamed.
The wrestlers all ran away. They were fierce fighters but not batshit insane. John Cena stayed behind, but only because of the match. If he could, he would have also-ran.
"Well with them out of the way, I guess we should size up our 'opponents'." Clover taunted.
Marie glared at the Spies, while John Cena shivered with fear. Eddy was still laying on the ground but could hear what everyone was saying.
"Well, we already know how fun it is to beat Eddy up, so we'll have to do something EXTRA special with him!" Alex declared, very sinisterly.
Eddy began to sweat as his eyes shot open.
"NOO!!!! NO MORE!!!" Eddy screamed while cowering behind John Cena.
Clover pointed at John Cena and said the one thing that could scare the shit out of him.
"I can see you."
John Cena began to violently shake, almost as if he was having a seizure.
"N-No! Y-You can't s-s-see me! YOU CAN'T SEE MEEE!!!!" John Cena cried out.
Sam and Marie stared each other down.
"OMG, that blue hair rea-"
Out of the blue, Vince declared WWE Jihad...IN YOUR PANTS.
"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, GEEEEEET REEEEEEEADY!!!" Jerry screamed like a banshee over the microphone.
Vince grabbed a microphone too and proceeded to give a list of rules.
"This match will be vicious, without mercy, no holds barred! There are no three counts this time folks, it's a submission match! BUT NOT JUST SUBMISSION, SUBMISSION IN A STEEEEEL CAAAAAAAGE!!!"
The crowd started yelling and busting nuts like Alvin and the Chipmunks.
"Wow Plank, listen to that! These niggas are about to get wrecked like Destroyed in Seconds!" Johnny said to Plank, speaking up a bit over the Louder with Crowder...crowd. Yes.
"Now, LET'S GET THIS MATCH STARTED!!!!" Vince yelled while the cameras did a close up of the six.
"Wait, the match is starting now?!" Marie asked.
"Well yeah, you dumb bimbo!" Sam replied.
"Last one to the ring is an expired condom!!!" Clover yelled while running towards the ring.
"Hey, I'm no expired condom!!!" Alex yelled, following behind.
Sam gave one last look at Marie and flipped her off. Sam then ran to the ring with the other two Spies. Marie grabbed Eddy and John by their arms.
"Let's get this over with…"
Marie ran with them to the ring entrance. She immediately stopped when she saw what was happening in the ring. Eddy and John Cena had the exact same reaction when they saw it.
The two Z-list wrestlers and the returning champion John Cena eyed their opponents a bit. They watched as a member of the crowd gave Alex a steel chair, and she did tribal rituals with it.
"I think we may have bitten off more than we can chew this time, guys," Marie whispered nervously.
"WE BIT OFF?! YOU GOT ME INTO THIS!! I NEVER WANTED ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGG!!" Eddy screamed in fear and premeditated pain.
"Relax Eddy, we can WIN THIS!!" Marie exclaimed excitedly but still nervously.
John Cena was too scared to comment on the situation. There were many mixed feelings at this event.
"Hey ref, is it legal for me to sharpen this steel chair into a set of spears?" Clover asked the referee,
"No." The referee replied.
"Is it legal for me to use this gun?" Clover asked as she pulled out a blue Colt Python.
"Unfortunately, no." The referee replied.
"Is it legal for me to cock and ball torture my opponent?" Alex asked.
The referee thought for a few seconds.
"Only if it's Eddy."
"Yay!" Alex exclaimed, readying a ladder for maximum crotch punishment.
Eddy blanky starred.
"WHY?! WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME SO MUCH?! ALLAH!? GOD?! BUTTER TOAST GIRL GUY BUTTER THING?! PLEASE TELL ME WHY?!?!?" Eddy screamed, while on the verge of losing his mind.
"Is it legal for me to make 'yo mama' jokes in the ring?" Sam asked, completely ignoring Eddy.
"No." The referee added, also completely ignoring Eddy.
"Dang! That's my favorite part of wrestling." Sam said with a frown.
The Referee rolled his eyes, starting to regret agreeing to this match.
"Wow Dick, those are some crazy women… My type!" George Bush exclaimed.
"You said it! Even Lapis would like a piece of those cherry pies!" Dick Cheney concurred.
The ref decided that the pay was enough to give some shit about his job, and went back to focusing on the task at hand. He looked around and realized that the Spies opponents weren't in the ring yet. It didn't take long for him to spot them.
"What are you three doing, the match is starting in a minute!"
"Oh cool! I'll just flick the bean for the last sixty seconds!" Sam added as Clover watched the bean flicking very intently.
"Well, no going back now. Looks like we'll have to see this to the end." Marie commented, not really talking to anyone in particular.
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!" Eddy cried.
"You can't see me…" John Cena added, very blandly.
They got in the ring and stood in their corner. The Ref quickly got out, and the cage started to lower down. Eddy looked up and started to freak out again.
"NOOO!!! I WANT OUT!!!! I WANT OUUUUUT!!!"
Eddy tried to run out of the ring but was pulled back in by Marie and John. Eddy struggled, but Marie and John refused to let go until the cage was completely lowered. The Spies laughed as he struggled.
All of a sudden, the bell rang. This caused Eddy to freak out once more.
"Fuck it, get in there!" Marie said as she tossed Eddy directly into the Spies. Like, she physically THREW the fucker at them.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU THOUGHT YOU GET A CHEAP SHOT ON US YOU LITTLE SHIT?!?!" Alex screamed, in an extraordinarily angry tone, while shocking Eddy.
Eddy knew he was fucked, but he didn't realize just how fucked he was.
Marie immediately turned towards John Cena.
"Alright, while Eddy keeps the Spies distracted, you and I need to come up with a plan."
John Cena nodded.
"NO! PLEASE STOP, I'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS ONCE BEFORE!!" Eddy yelled as Clover carried him over her shoulder.
Clover placed Eddy against the ladder and handcuffed his arms and legs between the bars.
"YOU READY FOR THIIIIIIIIIS??!" Alex yelled as she climbed the ladder from the other side.
Before Eddy could respond, Alex did a front flip into double foot stomp from the top of the ladder, slamming the full force of her body directly against his crotch. The ladder and Eddy were sent crashing down as Alex landed gently on the ground.
"EEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!" Eddy cried out.
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH! MY GOD, WHAT A BRUTAL BEGINNING!" Jerry commentated, having to speak up over Eddy's wailing.
"An angel just got its wings! And a new set of testicles!" Ed commented.
The crowd cheered and laughed at Eddy's suffering. But it wasn't over yet, not by a mile.
Sam picked up the ladder which was carrying Eddy and used it as a battering ram against a turnbuckle. She slammed Eddy with full force against the metal pole, knocking the wind out of him. Eddy was turned over and laid ladder-first on the ground, making him wonder subconsciously what the Spies would do next.
Alex climbed onto the turnbuckle and grabbed a steel chair with one hand, as Sam climbed over her shoulder. Clover leaped up from the top rope on top of the other two Spies, forming a tower, as the crowd cheered like madmen.
"WHAT ARE THE SPIES PLANNING WITH THIS ONE?!! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!" Jerry yelled.
"They told me that they call it 'Cirque du Ovary'!" Ed replied.
"That doesn't rhyme, but I like it!" Jerry added.
Eddy started to panic.
"MARIE!!! JOHN CENA!!!! HELP ME!!!!!" Eddy pleased while staring at John and Marie.
The two completely ignored him and continued to discuss their plan.
"You know, I do agree with the teachings of Plato. I think he gave a very religious yet scientific insight on the meaning of life." Marie said to John Cena.
"Mhm...though I found Socrates' studies to be way more interesting. Say, got any threes?" Cena asked.
"Nope. Go Fish." Marie replied as she flashed her deck of cards.
"WON'T SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE?!!!??" Eddy yelled.
"AND EDDY IS CRYING, BEGGING FOR HELP FROM HIS TEAM! BUT THEY JUST DON'T CARE!" Jerry commented.
"With good reason, Jerry ol' pal! This is the stuff that gets the crowd WILD!" Ed replied.
"Right you are Ed, and with that...OOOH, THE ELBOW DROP!!" Jerry yelled as Clover did a backflip, elbow dropping onto Eddy's sternum.
WHEEZE* "HeeeeeeEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" *WHEEZE* Eddy said as he gasped for air.
"AND THE TOWER CONTINUES!! OH MY GOD, IT'S CARNAGE IN THE RING TONIGHT!" Jerry yelled as Sam jumped off next and did a full 360 spin into a power knee, slamming right into Eddy's chest. No, this was not staged either. Not by a long shot.
Eddy tried to scream, but could only cough. The crowd began to cheer even harder while holding up Totally Spies posters.
Finally, Alex went last, jumping into the air and holding the chair. Eddy finally recovered from his coughing fit, only to watch as Alex fell towards him. She held the steel chair at a vertical angle, hitting Eddy DIRECTLY in the balls upon impact.
"MY GOD, A LOW BLOW!! WON'T SOMEONE STOP THE MATCH, GOOD LORD!!!!" Jerry yelled, visibly getting hyped up at this point.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Eddy yelled, almost passed out by this point.
The Spies decided to mix things up a bit and undid Eddy's handcuffs. They took a bow as the crowd cheered them on.
"You think my man will give up that easily?! You ain't seen nothing yet!" Lee yelled from the crowd.
"Oh yeah?! Well, watch this!" Alex replied.
Alex pulled out her thing of Gamer Girl Bath Water and began to open it up.
"OH, WHAT THE HELL??! IS THAT EVEN LEGAL???" Jerry yelled as the camera focused on Alex.
"WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Eddy yelled, desperately trying to crawl away. As fast as he could, anyway, given his horrific injuries at this point.
Sam and Clover grabbed Eddy by the legs as Alex opened the bathwater up and took a good sniff-slash-snort. Alex set it down and grabbed the ropes, beginning to shake them like the Ultimate Warrior.
"FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Alex yelled.
She immediately picked the bathwater up and shoved it violently in Eddy's mouth. The Spies kicked and punched Eddy until he begrudgingly swallowed every last drop.
"NO FAIR! YOU USED A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON!!!" Lee raged, about ready to get out of her seat.
"No way lady! THIS is a biological weapon!" Sam yelled, pulling her pants and underwear down to moon the crowd.
The crowd let out a loud gasp, while some people began to cheer louder and do wolf calls.
"MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING??! I CAN SEE THE MOON, SUN, GRAND CANYON, AND MARIANAS TRENCH!" Jerry commentated, now witnessing one of the craziest matches he's ever seen in his life.
Sam then pulled her pants down more and wiggled her rear end a bit, showing off the entirety of her ass and giving the audience a pretty nice view of her snatch too.
"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, NOW SHE'S JUST SHOWING OFF!" Jerry yelled.
"I like what I'm seeing here Jerry, huh huh! If only she had a penis!" Ed commentated.
"What the fuck?! Why did my boyfriend have to be the sexually confused one?!" May yelled.
"It's like the Ultimate Warrior said before, Ed! Queering doesn't make the world work!" Jerry yelled.
(Editor's note: The Ultimate Warrior actually did say this. We didn't intend this line to be fictional.)
"Not for you anyway, huh huh!" Ed said dumbly.
"I can't argue with that one, Ed! If you like a Slim Jim with your Moon Pies, I can't hate that!"
A very loud "FAP--I MEAN SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!" could be heard from Randy Savage in the background.
Sam did a squat over Eddy, giving the crowd a very good idea of what she was about to do.
"AHHHHGGGGGG!! I SUBMIT! I'M TAPPING OUT, OH DEAR GOD!!!" Eddy yelled, smacking the floor next to him as hard and fast as he could.
"That's it! He's out!" The ref yelled, while Eddy out of the Ring.
Eddy immediately ran away and started to vomit up the Gamer Girl Bath Water. The Spies were enraged and disappointed.
"What the fuck?! Now, who are we supposed to take our hormonal rage out on?!" Sam yelled while pulling her pants back up.
"Oh shit, it looks like Eddy finally tapped out. Come on John Boy, get out there!" Marie yelled as John Cena ran into the ring screaming like a lunatic.
Marie leaned over and started to whisper to one of the ring guards outside of the cell.
"Thanks for the cocaine, shnookums."
The guard simply nodded, while he continued to look through the crowd.
"Man, a good old fashioned dick sucking in the locker room works really well sometimes!" Marie said as she leaned back, proud of herself.
"What the fuck you talkin about? You sucked Double D's cock while paying me for the Coke." The guard replied.
"...Well, I sucked dick so fuck you!"
The Guard sighed and dropped the conversation. He didn't want to think about why Vince stripped Double D and tied him to a pole in the break room.
Marie then looked back and watched as her plan unfolded. Hopefully, a Cocaine fueled John Cena would win the day.
"Woah what the FUUUU--" Alex yelled as John Cena grabbed her by the head and slammed her repeatedly into the turnbuckle face first.
The Spies looked on, completely thrown off.
"AND--MY GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??! THE LEGENDARY JOHN CENA IS TURNING THINGS AROUND, FOLKS!" Jerry yelled.
Cena then grabbed Alex and went up to the top rope. Before Alex even knew what was happening, John Cena performed an elevated Suplex.
"MY GOD, HE'S KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF HER!" Jerry yelled as the crowd went bonkers.
"Nobody saw that coming, Jerry! For he is the Last Airbender!" Ed said dumbly once more.
Sam and Clover finally snapped out of their trance. Though, just in time to see Alex getting 5 Knuckle Shuffled.
"WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING OUT THERE, GUYS! IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE! HE'S BEATING HER HALF TO DEATH!" Jerry commented.
"He sure is frying her chickens, huh huh!" Ed added.
"You're damn right, Ed, he--OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HIM NOW! HE'S RUNNING TO THE ROPES!!" Jerry yelled as John Cena ran to one side of the ring and gained momentum from the ropes.
As he turned around though, Clover hit him directly in the face with a steel chair from the side of the ring. All the momentum had left him and he fell directly on his back. Marie started to get worried.
"You wanna play rough?!" *SMACK* "WELL WE'LL FUCKING PLAY ROUGH!!!" Sam yelled.
Alex got helped up by Clover while Sam punched John Cena a couple of times. Though, this only pissed John Cena off even more.
"Wait a second here, my god...THE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT??! THIS EARLY IN THE MATCH!?" Jerry yelled.
Alex and Clover heard this and immediately looked over to see that John Cena had Sam thrown over his shoulders.
"GAAAAAAAH, HELP ME! HELP--" *CRASH*
"Ooh, that's gotta hurt!" Marie commented with a cringe. She then got excited again and pulled out a thing of popcorn.
"Alright that does it, I'll get this son of a bitch!" Clover yelled, running towards John Cena.
"And I--OH MY GOD, THE BOOT! JOHN CENA JUST KICKED HER LIKE A FOOTBALL!!!" Jerry screamed with hype as John Cena did a front kick, sending Clover flying to the ground.
"There was a lot more ball kicking earlier today as well, Jerry!" Ed added.
John Cena did his signature "You Can't See Me" pose while facing the crowd. Unfortunately for him through, Clover was sneaking up behind him with a flaming baseball bat in her hands, doing a George Costanza pose.
"I CAN SEE YOU!!!!" She screamed while striking John Cena in his lower back.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" John Cena screamed in pain, as he fell to his knees.
"Uhh Ohh... " Marie said to herself.
"OH MY JESUS ABOVE, WHERE'D SHE GET THAT!!? AND WHEN DID SHE LIGHT IT ON FIRE??!" Jerry screamed, reacting to the flaming carnage.
"Clover just dropped her mixtape, Jerry!" Ed yelled.
"How about some burning wood for your 'wood'?!" Clover yelled, hitting John Cena in the crotch from behind, almost setting his pants on fire. John Cena dropped to the ground in cocaine-fueled hyper-pain.
"LOW BLOW!! And the ref is sperging out! Get the hell out of there ref, what are you doing?!" Jerry screamed in confusion and slight worry.
"That blow was lower than my grade point average!!" Ed commented.
"Hey! I told you that you can only hit Eddy in the balls! One more hit like that, and you're out!" The ref yelled, right before immediately running out of the cell. He knew the wrath he had just brought on.
"That ref has balls Ed, this is a fight even Mick Foley would've said 'no' to!" Jerry commented.
"Say no to drugs, kiddos! Huh huh!" Ed replied.
"Well, I'm sure ol' Mick said no to saying no to drugs, but that's a story for another time! And--OH MY GOD, SHE'S LAYING INTO JOHN CENA! THIS IS JUST BRUTAL!" Jerry yelled as Clover used the hilt of the baseball bat to clock John Cena over the face.
"I HAD LIKE, 7 DIFFERENT LINES RELATED TO COCK AND BALL TOUURCHER, AND NOW I CAN'T USE ANY OF THEM!!!" Clover screamed, while relentlessly beating John Cena.
"I think she singed his eyebrows with that last one, Jerry! And his dignity, huh huh!" Ed stated happily...but still dumbly.
"SAM! COME TAKE A SHIT ON JOHN CENA FOR ME!" Clover yelled, now very pissed off.
Sam got back up and pulled her pants back down, waving her ass cheeks over John Cena's face. This time though, she looked pissed off.
"My lord Ed, John Cena's about to 'see' some shades of brown in a few seconds!" Jerry yelled, very enthusiastically for some reason.
"That's what he gets for calling my Mexinigga Rey Mysterio a midget dominatrix!" Ed yelled.
"I hope you like having brown skin, Cena!" Sam yelled.
"What?! Eww! Brown is such a gross color for skin!" Clover yelled.
Most of the crowd gasped, but someone mumbled in agreement. The mumbling came from Johnny.
"Hey, she's right you know!" Johnny finally yelled.
Alex sat up and gave Clover a very annoyed and angered look.
"OH MY GOD, WHAT DOES CLOVER THINK SHE'S DOING?! I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH A LOAD OF RACISM UTTERED IN MY LIFE!" Jerry yelled.
Finally, Alex had enough of Clover's shit for one night. She yelled a bit and jumped up in front of Clover, grabbing her head from behind and slamming down hard.
"RKO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, SHE ATTACKED HER OWN TEAMMATE!!" Jerry yelled.
"Uhhhh, I didn't listen to a single thing you just said, Jerry. I was more focused on the lady on top of the cell!" Ed replied, pointing to the top of the cell.
"WHAT THE--"
Suddenly a deafeningly loud music track played, and fire spewed up from the ground as the lady did poses on top of the steel cage.
"MY GOD, LOOK WHO IT IS!! IT'S THE VILE, THE BITCHY, DESPICABLE, AND THE TOTALLY AWESOME MANDY!!" Jerry screamed into the microphone.
The theme song proceeded to stop as Mandy climbed down into the cell. The Spies all had looks of confusion, but mostly rage.
"Mandy?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" Sam yelled as John Cena ran off crying, effectively being replaced by Mandy.
Mandy was wearing an outfit that completely ripped off Asuka's multicolor schtick, but she did not even remotely care. She had a slightly skimpy Raven from Teen Titans-lookin' ass leotard on, so it wasn't a complete ripoff we guess. Plus the LGBT stood by her for what looked somewhat similar to rainbow colors, so she got lots of sponsorships.
"I'm sick and tired of hearing about all the fucked up, twisted shit you've been doing to people, and I'm not going to listen to it anymore, you hear?!" Mandy yelled, into a microphone she had with her at the moment.
"Wow, listen to her go! She's heated and ready to fight, Ed!" Jerry commented.
"She's also ready to bite! Which I saw her do on Pornhub too the other night…" Ed replied, as his attention was taken by a very familiar armored Jeep pulling up.
As soon as the Jeep came to a stop, 4 retard school truant officers-slash-soldiers hopped out with guns drawn. One of them came out with Sara in a wheelchair. Her face looked mostly normal, but it was obvious that she had been fucked up.
"LITTLE BABY SARAH?!" Ed cried out.
All of a sudden Ed's good friend Ghost came to help him. Ghost pulled out a steel chair and began to wrestle the other soldiers. He smacked the shit out of one guy with the chair, set it down and RKO'd another into it. He then took the others down to Lucha Suplex City.
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts!" Sarah retardedly yelled, getting out of the wheelchair.
"LITTLE BABY GOT BACK SARAH IS A RETARDO MONTALBAN NOW!? THIS CALLS FOR ACTION!!" Ed yelled as he ran down to get his outfit on.
Jerry just stared at Ed confused for a second. He wasn't sure what to do, and could only think of one thing.
"Well be right back, after this commercial break!"