A Promise of Honor
"Here," the guard said, slipping her hand through the bars. She glanced behind her,eyes narrowing as voices echoed through the hall. "I managed to sneak some tea and extra rice for you. I hope you like it." She set the food down, then backed away, sitting against the opposite wall. "It's white dragon bush tea."
Iroh stirred in the darkness, disrupting the shadows around him. "Thank you." His voice cracked from dryness, making his throat feel like sandpaper. He inhaled the aroma of the rice. 'Seasoned rice?' He glanced at the young guard and saw the smile on her face.
"I bought spices half price at the market today. I figured you'd like something other than regular old rice."
"You have done this old man's heart some good." He broke the chopsticks, whispering a small thanks to Agni, and began to eat. Warmth rose inside of him as the rice filled his mouth. How long had it been since he had eaten something so good? He sniffed the tea, bringing the cup to his lips before inhaling again.
"General Iroh?"
"Yes, Ming?"
"Is it true that you helped the Avatar escape? I heard stories that you even went against Princess Azula…" Ming's voice trailed off as if her thoughts wandered ahead of her, her gaze becoming distant. "Why?"
Iroh set the cup down, running his finger around the edge. "A man must choose his path when the road splits. Sometimes that road is narrow." He looked at Ming, his brows slanting in reflection. "The wide and easy road of destruction is one I am not willing to travel."
Ming frowned, running her tongue against her cheek. "You think you did the right thing by betraying the Fire Nation? By betraying your own people?"
"You are angry."
"I don't understand! Why would you turn your back on your country? On your own brother?" Ming slumped against the wall, her helmet clinking on the stone.
"I knew a day would come when I had to choose which path to walk. The long and narrow? Or the wide and easy road?" He looked at Ming, his gaze firm. "I am one of the few who choose to enter through the long and narrow."
'He tried to kill me and Zuko. He tried to hurt Aang. Should I really help him?' Katara glanced back at Jin-Ho, his dagger shimmering in the dim light. 'I don't have a choice, do I?' The soldier had said it himself. If she didn't help him, he would kill Zuko. Her gaze shifted to the soldier bundled on the cot. Black hair framed his face, contrasting with his pale skin.
For a moment, she pushed down the feelings of sympathy growing in her heart. She stepped back, clutching her chest.'I can't just let him die. No matter what they've done to us.'
She sighed, her shoulders sagging and uncorked her water skin, kneeling beside the cot. "I'll heal him. But not for you."
Jin-Ho raised a brow at her, his lips twisting into a sneer. "You'll do it for your own twisted sense of virtue. That's laughable, little water bender."
She spun around, her gaze hardened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You won't heal him for me, instead you do it to quench the guiltiness in your conscious. Weren't you the one who almost killed him?"
"I didn't have a choice!" Katara balled her hands into fists, grinding her teeth in anger. 'I didn't want...to kill anyone.' She couldn't take back what she'd done. She had done it to survive! To keep her friends safe. 'And for Zuko.' "You don't understand. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I never wanted…to kill. I warned you to leave us alone. I had to protect Zuko!"
"You're not the only one who has someone to protect! Are you saying your actions are more justified than mine? That the life of a banished prince is worth more than five men?" Jin-Ho stepped toward Katara, his knuckles white from gripping the dagger. "Little water bender, do not speak to me from a crooked pedestal! Your hands are tainted with the blood of men."
'Your hands are tainted.' Katara's chest heaved as the words replayed in her mind, making her heart sink. She wiped her eyes, feeling the corners of them warm with tears. She placed her hands on the soldier's chest, focusing on the healing, she glanced at the young man's face.
He mumbled in his sleep. "Mother…"
At the sound of his dejected voice, the dams around Katara's heart burst. She tried to stop the sobs from shaking her body, breathing in deep.
"You've never killed anyone before, have you?" Jin-Ho stared at her, his gaze for a moment softening. "This won't be the last time. I can promise you that."
"What's his name? Your brother, what's his name?"
"Ashan, if that means anything to you."
"It's a nice name."
Jin-Ho snorted. "A weak one."
Katara made to speak, but thought better of it and continued working. Several minutes passed before she finished, Jin-Ho watching her the whole time. She wiped her brow as she surveyed her work. "His wounds aren't life threatening, but he'll need healing sessions for a while."
"How long?"
"A week or so."
"That's not good enough."
"That's how long it will take," Katara said, her voice firm. "He needs rest. The healing can't be rushed." She stood, bending the water back into the animal skin. "I need to fix dinner."
Jin-Ho held up his hand. "There is something I need to show you." He motioned for Katara to walk in front of him, directing her to the room where Zuko slept. He crouched near the cot, grabbing Zuko's shoulder and began to turn him over.
"What are you doing?" Katara asked, moving to stop him.
Jin-Ho shushed her. He pulled the cloth from Zuko's wound, revealing a discolored and oozing mess. "Your healing abilities aren't enough to save him. Look."
Katara gagged, covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve. 'It smells terrible. How did it get so bad?' "I don't understand…"
"The wound has become infected. The tip of the arrow has become embedded in his back, preventing the healing process from functioning. It's a trick some Fire Nation archers have adopted."
Her eyes widened as her arms dropped to her side. 'There's nothing I can do?' There had to be something. She was a master water bender. Katara's throat constricted as she gazed at Zuko's ashen face, his lips turned down in a whimper. "I can take the tip out—"
"You try to remove it and he will die," Jin-Ho said. He tossed the messy wrappings on the floor and reached into his pocket. Katara's eyes darted to his hand.
Jin-Ho smirked, holding gauze. "He needs fresh wrappings." He turned his attention to Zuko. "There are herbs and medical supplies in a village up the mountain. You heal my brother, I will save Prince Zuko for you."
Her brows slanted in suspicion. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"Fire Nation soldiers do have some level of honor. I will repay you for your service. You have offered to heal my brother. I do not lie."
"Offer implies I had a choice."
"You did." Jin-Ho tilted his head, as if in thought. "But neither was very profitable for you. You always have a choice." He walked to the hearth, tossing in wood and then waved his hand, igniting flames. "Start cooking, girl."
Katara huffed, snatching the fish. "I have a name. It's Katara."
"And I am Jin-Ho."
"You already said that."
"I did?"
She nodded. The man shrugged, sitting in the chair next to Zuko's cot. Katara placed the fish on flat stones, pushing them into the fire. After several minutes passed, Jin-Ho stood, pointing to the back room.
"You work on Ashan again. I will watch the food."
Conversation echoed through the mess hall as people piled inside, lining up to receive their meal. Several children ran around the tables, playing and laughing as their parents called out to them. For being underground, the refugee house had been well built and lighted.
"The grub is good," Toph said, the noodles filling her mouth with flavor and warmth. She smiled, shoving vegetables in. 'I haven't eaten this good since we left the cave.' She glanced around the hall. Rough wooden tables and chairs littered the room, occupied by people of all ages.
"Is everything to your liking?" Seung Hyun said, taking a seat at their table.
Aang nodded, smiling.
"Good food does something for the soul."
"I second that!" Toph said, placing her hands on her stomach.
Seung Hyun grinned, his eyes seemed to sparkle with genuine grace. "I'm glad. You all should rest up. Eat all you can. The next days will be hard as we travel."
"Travel? Where?" Aang asked.
"To Shu Jing. It's safer there and many of them can find work."
Sokka frowned, scratching his head. "How are you going to sneak all these people inside?" He looked around. "There must be over a hundred."
At that, the merchant's grin grew wider. "I have many noble friends there. The refugees will pass as servants. His insignia will be arriving in four days so we can show it at the gates."
"It sounds like you have everything planned out," Aang said.
"I've been doing this for years. I would hope I'd know what I'm doing by now." Seung Hyun stood, excusing himself from the table. "We leave in a week. You are welcome to with us, or remain here in search of your parents."
Aang nodded. "Thank you." He watched the man walk away, turning his attention to his friends. "We can't leave. Not until we find Katara."
"Right," Sokka said. "There's still a chance they might come here."
"What do we do until then?" Toph asked, leaning on the table. 'We don't even know where to start looking for them.
"We'll stay here for tonight and look around tomorrow to see if anyone can lend us a boat. Then we'll head to the forest." Sokka finished his food. "Let's get some sleep."
After eating another helping, the gang went to their sleeping quarters. It hadn't been the best place they slept in, but it was better than camping in the woods. The sleeping quarters consisted of rooms divided into different categories. The first and second large rooms nearest the mess hall had been for families. The third and fourth rooms had been reserved for other refugees.
The gang decided to sleep in the family room. Cots lined the room, leaving barely any walking settling in, it had only been several minutes before the gang slept. Except for Aang.
The steady breathing of his friends calmed his beating heart as he thought about the lost water bender. What was Katara doing now? Had she eaten dinner? Aang turned on his side as his thoughts began to wander to less than positive thoughts. 'What if she got hurt? What if Zuko decides to turn bad?'
He closed his eyes and breathed deep, trying to push down the feelings of dread. He stared at the ceiling. He tried counting himself to sleep, like the monks had taught him. 'I'm not going to sleep tonight.' Aang sat up, shoving his feet inside his shoes. He needed to get out. He needed air.
With that thought, he tip-toed between the cots, until he reached the door. Dim light shone along the hall as Aang made his way toward the cellar opening. When he got outside,Aang climbed up to the rooftop by way of a gutter on the side of the house. For several moments, he did nothing, only stared at the stars while his thoughts raced and his heart beat against his chest.
'Is Katara looking at the stars now?' he wondered, admiring the white lights above him. As he thought of Katara, his lips twisted in a frown, his chest tightening. If something happened to Katara, he didn't know if he could ever forgive himself. 'I love her. I can't let her get hurt.'
The words from his soul self came back to him, when he'd been in the catacombs. 'You have to give her up, Aang. You have to let her go.' What did that mean? 'What am I supposed to do?'
Aang buried his face in his hands. His failure in Ba Sing Se had shown him he needed to become stronger. Images of Jet's last moments filled his mind, making his heart feel as if someone had attached a weight to it and thrown it into the ocean. 'I can't let anyone else die.'
Azula had taken over the city and the Dai Li pledged loyalty to the princess. 'And I run away again.' He had run away a hundred years ago when the world needed him the most.
'I can't run away this time. How can I protect my friends if I don't stand up and fight? How can I protect Katara?'
Katara bit into the fish, chewing slowly as she watched Jin-Ho reach into his shirt. Her hands instinctively went toward her water skin.
Jin-Ho shook his head, showing her a small flagon. "Relax, child. It's only my wine jug."
She didn't relax, but she continued eating in silence. Staring into the fire, she watched the flames lick at the air and devour the wood. She struggled to keep her eyes open, resisting the desire to close them, if only for a few seconds. 'I can't sleep when he's here.' She glanced at the soldier.
Jin-ho drank from the jug, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He glanced at Katara. She couldn't have lived more than thirteen summers, but her attitude suggested she could be even older. He frowned, thinking back several nights ago as he watched her kill his men. 'She's too young to have to kill.'
When had children stopped being children? 'Whenever war comes knocking. That's when they stop. That's why I can't be a part of it anymore.' When he'd enlisted in the army, he'd believed glory would soon follow. What patriot didn't want to fight for his country? One particular battle had changed his mind. 'I can still smell the burning flesh in my dreams and see villagers' hacked bodies scattered through the town.' Jin-Ho fought the coldness creeping on his shoulders, as he thought back 10 years before.
"Jin-Ho, what are you doing?" his friend yelled, grabbing his arm. "We're supposed to be looking for the rebels." He stared around the burning village, his eyes narrowing. "These people were traitors. Don't let it get to you."
"Children, Zhao?" Jin-Ho yelled, back away. Something crunched beneath his foot, causing him to look down. A small corpse lay under him, charred beyond recognition. He covered his mouth to keep from puking, turning his eyes away. The smell of the crushed skull hit him like a wave, making his stomach churn and his sight hazy.
"Get it together!" Zhao yelled, holding onto him, as he began to sway."This won't be the last time you'll see burned bodies."
Jin-Ho tried to regain his balance, shielding his eyes from the particles of debris flying through the fiery night. Everything had been set on fire by the soldiers. The few villagers who had escaped would be hunted down and killed. No one would get away alive. 'Not even one child.'
"Zuko said you're a deserter…" Katara began, her gaze level. "What are you doing in the forest?"
"Hiding. The punishment for desertion is death. I'm not ready to die yet."
"I thought Fire Nation soldiers had honor," Katara said.
"My honor prevents me from killing innocent civilians." He stared at Katara. "Honor is a tricky thing. A man can commit odious acts in the name of it, but in the end, each man's honor is his own."
Katara's gaze shifted to the floor, her cheeks burning with shame. Of course not all Fire Nation people were the same. Zuko's decision in Ba Sing Se had proved that.
Jin-Ho sighed, rubbing his forehead. "You water benders and earth benders all believe that the Fire Nation is hell on earth. Did it ever occur to you that the Fire Nation civilians are often the ones to pay for our Lord's lack of empathy?"
"The Fire Nation killed my mother," Katara said, meeting his eyes."They attacked my village and murdered my people. The Fire Nation has brought nothing but darkness to the world."
"Darkness is a harsh term, don't you think?"
She frowned. "Harsh?"
"I would say so."
Katara stared at the floor. What could she say to that? She stared at him. "Why did you join the military then?"
"I believed it was the right thing to do at the moment."
"What do you want now?"
"To kill a man."
"Why?"
"It's personal." With that, he stood, and walked to the back of the room, sitting in the chair. "It's late and I am tired."
Katara watched him slouch in the chair, propping his feet up on a wooden bucket. She was tired too, but not tired enough to sleep in front of her enemy.
Jin-Ho glanced at her, his eyes shining in slight amusement at her restraint. "Sleep, water bender. I won't do anything dishonorable to you. You have my word." He watched as Katara slid against the wall, crossing her arms as she leaned her head against the wood. It hadn't been but several minutes before her eyes fluttered, leading her into sleep.
He wouldn't follow her example for hours, and allowed his thoughts to wonder as he rubbed his forehead. His earlier explanation to her question replayed in his head. 'To kill a man.'
"I'm not ready to die," he whispered to himself, glancing at the prince. "Neither are you."
Thank you all for reading the next chapter of, "The Weight of Hope,"! Sorry it has been so long. Life has been crazy but wonderful. Hope you all had a good start to your New Year!