She didn't know how much he meant to her until he was gone. His absence affected her. He was on her mind every passing moment. She missed him. To be honest, at first she didn't know why she felt this way. Perhaps because she was his wife, she was married to him or she supposed she was grown attached to him over their little time spent together. But she was never afraid to accept the truth. And eventually she was realizing her own state of emotions.
To overcome these feelings, she managed herself to submerged in the work she needed to do, trying to avoid remembering him.
She had been busy in doing all the paper work and inspections of every department in the castle. She knew she should not be slacking in any way that would give anyone a topic to talk. More importantly she shouldn't be disappointing him. She had already made him upset that she couldn't take a any risk.
She was working hard until the time she was completely worn out. She wasn't even eating on time which made her maids greatly concerned about her health. And it continued for few days. Finally, the maids decided to do something about it. Only option they could think was chief pharmacist.
Tonight, when garack suddenly shown up in her office, anna was surprised.
"Pardon my rudeness your majesty but I want you to come with me at this instant ."she ordered the queen in a commanding tone.
Anna easily figured what was it all about.
"Pressuring your body won't help you to work effectively."she then started and lectured her for a breif time.
And anna had no choice but to listen to her.
After a while, they both sat for dinner in one of the fancy rooms in the castle. Servants came and served the warm and delicious food in front of them.
"I don't know how does he do it."anna suddenly spoke, wondering deep in her thoughts.
Garack got hint of what she was referring to.
"My back and head are completely sour sitting in place and doing all that paperwork." She continued further, sounding exhausting.
"That's why he's the king. He has been prepared for this his whole life. And you know it too." garack replied, stating the most simple yet painful fact.
"That's right."she let out a sigh and focused on eating the food. She knew it was stupid of her to even ask such question. But still she did.
"But now he has you. You are by his side. The person he deeply cares about." garack commented little too confidently.
The last part of her sentence made anna questioned.
"Why do you think that ?"she muttered almost hesitantly. She felt strong need to ask her.
"Huh? garack seemed to be clueless for an instant.
"Why do you think that he deeply cares about me? she repeated.
As much other people knew, their marriage was arranged like any other royal marriage. They were no feelings and attachments involved. Then why would she think that? And the way she said it sounded like she knew something she didn't.
At first, garack found herself unable to answer her question. But in the end she finally decided to tell her the truth.
"You see, I have saw it myself."she began slowly, little hesitantly.
"The very first time I could read his majesty's expression clearly. And I could tell they were so true." She spoke remembering that day. "I still couldn't forget the look on his face when he brought you the infirmary that day. It was like he lost something precious to him."
Anna was listening like her life depended on it.
"And even the day when you collapsed due to the disease in lyrias he was so anxious. He didn't show it but for a moment that perfect shell of the prince was broken." garack finally finished.
"I see."anna looked at her and murmured in a low voice, pretending not be so shocked by her words. But internally she was having a mental breakdown. Many thoughts crossing her mind like storms.
"Its really hard to have someone you love by your side. And if you found it, you should cherish it with your life."garack stated, a smile plastering on her face trying to erase the pain echoing from her voice. Anna could tell she had also suffered in love in some way or other. She felt it in her words.
After the dinner was over, anna instantly excused herself and headed for sleeping.
She walked down the corridors brightened by the candles lightened high on the walls and the moonlight flickering from the dark night sky.
She was so lost in her thoughts. Was she a fool for not realizing it sooner or he was too smart for letting anyone know?
Of course he was very good at hiding his emotions by wearing that stoic expression on his face. And the fact he felt this way since a long time made her feel so many emotions.
She was remembering every moment she encoutered him. Past memories coming back in front of her like a heavy flood. Her memories were scattered over all her mind. Especially the time when she started hating him, the first time she argued with him.
It was that time in alarecia, when both princes of the clarines visited the country. Anna rembered, she wasn't there to greet the princes because she was on her rebellious adventure outside the castle.
In the night, she was secretly back into the castle. She was trying to head towards her room, jumping from a window for not being notice by the guards. But unfortunately she was spotted by clairens young prince. He had shocked expression on his face seeing her jumping from a window being a lady.
"I suppose you are prince zen." she spoke softly. It wasn't a question. Judging from his appearance she was sure who he was.
"My name is anna." she introduced herself with a friendly smile.
"You mean princess anna."he repeated for confirmation. Her attire wasn't like a princess. It wasn't lady like either. There was no way he could tell she was a princess.
"Yeah, you could say that." she mumbled under her breath.
"What were you doing?"he asked with greater curiosity.
"To be honest, i was sneaking back into the castle."she told the truth without hesitating.
"You shouldn't do that."
"I know."
"But I like to be myself for sometime."
"Really?"he was rather happy to listen to her answer ,"Can i do that too? " he asked hoping positively.
"Stop influencing him."
There was sudden voice breaking their conversation.
"His highness izana..."she said after turning back, looking at the first prince standing with stern look on his face.
"Zen, go back to your room." he ordered the young prince in all seriousness.
"But brother..." he tried to protest.
"I said go back to your room, zen." this time he strained on his words more sounding so heartless.
Anna didn't like the tone of his voice. She watched silently as the second prince timidly followed the path towards his room without any further comment.
Now, izana's full attention was on the rebellious princess. As she met his gaze, only thing she could find was his cold and intimidating glare. She hated it.
"It wouldn't hurt if you act more lady like."he commented harshly, thinking if there was small chance she could change. But in the end he knew it was hopeless.
"It wouldn't hurt if you can be yourself for once."she replied without holding back, turning the conversation into a strong heating argument.
She was the first woman who talked to him like that, looking straight into his eyes not fearing a little.
She was something. She made him feel foreign emotions whenever he saw emotions he couldn't let grow more than they already were.
His heart ached arguing with her, creating hatred in her heart and keeping a distance that would never be reached. Because deep down in his heart, he knew she would never be the queen clairens could proud of. Something he can never have.
She wondered if he could have listened to his heart and told her how he felt he didn't have to go through all the pain and suffering by himself. But she knew it wasn't something he would have done. It wasn't a option to begin with.
He was the man who bottled up all the emotions inside him for the greater good. It was clear to her that he always thought of his kingdom first then his own feelings, nothing else mattered to him.
But for once, he really didn't care. He lied and helped her. Or maybe he helped himself. For once, he wanted to be reckless just like her. He wanted to be honest with his emotions.
Now, she understood what really happened. She couldn't process what was she feeling into the words. She just wanted to see him.
She was awakened from her thoughts by someone calling her. She stopped in her track looking at the source of the voice.
"Your majesty..."
A maid stood in front of her, bowing low.
"What is it? "she asked, shoving her thoughts away from her.
"Your presence is required by lord haruka."maid informed, hastily.
Did she make any mistake? But as long as she remembered she didn't do anything that wasn't supposed to be done. On top of that, she wasn't feeling to meet someone at this point. To also add it was too late in the night.
"Tell him I'll meet him early in the morning."she told her.
"It's urgent."maid pressed on carefully, not wanting to sound rude. "Seems like there's guest."
A guest. And at this hour. Who could it might be? She thought.
"Fine. I am coming." she sighed and relecuntantly accompanied the maid.
As she reached room where the lord haruka was with the univited guest, she became stunned for a moment. She couldn't forget, she had saw him before. It was the same lord she didn't have chance to greet in the meeting before.
"This is lord sui from sui territory." Lord haruka introduced the guest to her in case she failed to recognize him.
Soon after, lord haruka told her the reason for which the lord was here. He claimed he was sent by his majesty. Then further lord haruka handed her the letter given to the uninvited lord by Izana. She observed the letter and read it carefully.
It was written in the letter that Izana was going to come tomorrow one week prior from the day he was supposed to come back. It was mentioned that there was some important matter to be discussed with the lord.
"I would like to have word with lord haruka for a moment."she announced after finishing reading the letter. Then after both of them excused themselves for talking in private.
"Shouldn't we have been informed first if his majesty was coming early?" she questioned anxiously, stating the obvious point.
"That's right."lord haruka agreed for an instance, "But the letter has royal seal and also his majesty's signature. There's no reason for us to doubt him."
"And besides that lord sui is one of the trustworthy person. His majesty himself knows him well." he further tried to convince her.
She did remember hearing about the conflicts between lands of sui and rid which were solved by Izana. And the current lords were given the position by Izana himself, after deposing the previous lords who were currupt and greedy.
"But still..." she continued on.
Something about this wasn't feeling right. The lord looked so uneasy to her like he might be afraid of something. Worth adding there were so many relevant questions hammering in her head. Why would he choose to come at this very time? When the second prince wasn't here along with the king. The castle was easy target at this moment.
"What are you trying to get at, your majesty?"he asked, frowning a little.
"We shouldn't trust him." she replied bluntly.
He didn't understand her worry but still considered her opinion. He couldn't take a risk as well.
"Fine." he finally said, "We will station guards for keeping an eye on him. Is that sound right?"
The part of her wasn't satisfied with that but still she nodded.
After taking care of essential preparations for univited guest's stay in the castle, she finally reached her chambers.
Oddly, all the candles in the room were off. She thought the chamber-maid must had forgotten to lighten them. As she was going to sleep anyway so she didn't mind. Only light in the room was of moonlight. It was splashing down through the window with gust of cold night winds which were swaying the long curtains.
Sitting in front of the mirror, she pulled her hair from its bun. Her hand moved through them, trying to ease the knotting.
The night seemed somewhat silent to her. Was it just her imagination? Maybe she was thinking too much past few days.
Suddenly, her hand stopped which was moving through her hair and then slowly dropped down on the dressing table.
While looking at herself in the mirror, her eyes caught another reflection in the mirror. The hair on the back of her neck bristled in a split second second. Her heart pounded giving a horrible feeling.
She figured. She wasn't alone in the room.
Her hand pulled the drawer of dressing table, taking out the comb along with hidden dagger, secretly.
She told herself not to panic. She took a deep breaths and calmed herself. Her one mistake and the situation could get more worse. Slowly, she felt so many eyes emerging from the shadows. The gleam of the moon shone weapons in their hands. She found herself gripping onto the blade in her hand more tightly, twisting her body around.
So what do you think of this chapter? I hope you enjoyed it.
The next chapter will feature violence significantly, so you have been warned before.
See you next time!