Chapter 17: The Constant

***TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT ***

Connie couldn't sleep. How could she? The ground was hard and she was freezing. But she knew her insomnia was really because of the people sleeping all around her. How could she sleep among total strangers who also happened to be deadly lunatics? She was well aware of her outsider status by the looks she had received over the last two days. No matter where she went in the Whisperer camp, eyes followed her. Some were merely curious while most others looked at Connie with suspicion. One nasty group in particular looked at her with outright hatred. After all, she was the "enemy".

Connie laid on the ground near the fire, trying her best to keep warm without a blanket. The sky was clear and dark, lit up only by tiny stars. She stared at them above her, mesmerized despite her circumstances. She majored in Journalism and Political Science at Columbia University but she minored in Astronomy. She loved the the stars, ever since she was a little girl she had loved them.

Connie found Castor and Pollux, the two brightest stars in the Gemini Constellation. She named the others in her head as she found them. Gamma Geminorum, Eta Geminorum , Mu Geminorum, Epsilom Geminorum, Zeta Geminorum, Delta Geminorum, Xi Geminorum, Kappa Geminorum, Upsilon Geminorum, Tau Geminorum, Lambda Geminorum, Geminga, Iota Geminorum, Theta Geminorum, Omicron. Omicron was very difficult to find with the naked eye. Connie proudly wondered to herself if anyone else alive was still able to find one of the smallest stars in Gemini.

This planet was in shambles but the stars were still the same. They didn't move or change. They were the same stars she looked at on her camping trips her dad would take her and Kelly on when they were young. The same stars she studied in college and the same stars she pointed out to Jessi on their first date. The same stars that existed the day she was born and the thousands or millions of years before that. They remained a constant.

Connie thought of a scripture she read one time, long ago. Many times over the the last decade she had recalled the verse and was comforted by its reassurance. Look up into the heavens! Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing, she said to herself and smiled peacefully. If God took the time to number and name the stars, He knows my name too.

As Connie continued to stare into the dark sky, she couldn't help but think of Daryl. She wondered for the hundredth time if he was still alive. She hoped for it. She prayed for it. She couldn't help but smile at the euphoric thought of the kiss they had shared just moments before he was shot, and they were separated.

Connie closed her eyes as her mind drifted to him. She replayed their last moments together. His lips crashing into hers, the salty taste of his tongue as it met hers, the feel of his strong hands on her hips as he held her body close to his. Then when the kiss finally broke, Daryl taking her hand in his, walking towards their new lives with one another.

The thought of that being their last moment together made Connie's heart ache. If he was gone, it just felt like a cruel joke being played on her.

She let her eyes remain closed and rolled onto her side inching even closer to the fire. She decided she had to try to sleep. If you're going to fight these bastards, you gotta get some sleep girl. Sleep, eat all their food and smile at everyone.

As she drifted off, her mind teetered between the surreal place of awake and asleep. She fell into a trance and once more, thoughts of Daryl Dixon came to mind. They were at the cabin again. She was sitting on the small sofa and he was walking towards her. She smiled softly as she reached out her hand to him. He stared at her small fingers before taking them into his own hand. She motioned for him to sit down on the sofa next to her. He did. She placed her hand in his and spelled out words for him in the dark. S-T-A-Y W-I-T-H M-E she signed. P-L-E-A-S-E D-O-N-T L-E-A-V-E. J-U-S-T S-T-A-Y.

Daryl placed his hand in her hand. I-M H-E-R-E. I A-L-W-A-Y-S W-I-L-L B-E H-E-R-E.

Suddenly Connie felt hands grabbing her. They weren't Daryl's gentle hands...they were rough. They were coming from behind her on the sofa, groping at her chest. A sick feeling came over her as she stared into Daryl's face. She felt him frantically signing in her hand again. C-O-N-N-I-E W-A-K-E U-P R-I-G-H-T N-O-W! W-A-K-E U-P!

Connie's eyes shot open and she bolted upright. Powerful hands slammed her body and head back to the ground. Her head throbbed. She opened her eyes again as the sky spun above. The hands that had thrown her to the ground moved back to her chest. The man threw his legs over her body and pinned her left shoulder to the ground. He pulled his hand away from her chest and reached down to unbutton her pants. She squirmed beneath him as he tried to undress her.

A second man came over and helped hold Connie down. He pinned her right arm to the ground so the first man could have his way more easily.

"Mine!" the first man grunted under his breath, as he pushed the second man away.

"I help you, you help me," the second man argued quietly.

"No, she's mine," he repeated as he looked down to unzip his pants. Connie reached over to her left, feeling all over the ground for anything she could use to defend herself. Her fingers slid over a sharp rock next to the fire pit. She tried to lift it but it was too heavy. She kept trying, maneuvering her fingers underneath it. Her attacker awkwardly tried to push his pants down as he writhed on top of her. Before he could finish undressing, the rock slammed into the side of his head. He reached up and held his hand to his bleeding temple. Connie pulled the rock back and slammed it into the back of his head next. He rolled his body off hers, then fell onto his back. Connie immediately climbed on top of him and hit him with the rock again. She bashed it into his face and head over and over again as he sputtered and bled beneath her.

The second man came up behind her, pulling her off of the first. Connie flailed her arms around, landing a single blow with the rock on that attacker. He released her and held onto his face screaming.

Seconds later Connie was up and on her feet. The commotion had awoken dozens of the Whisperers and they all came to see what had happened. One woman knelt on the ground near Connie's first attacker. She placed her fingers on his neck. "He's dead," she said quietly. "She killed him."

Several people encircled Connie, ready to attack. Connie raised her arm, holding the rock up with both hands. She turned in circles, preparing herself for another assault.

"What is happening here?" Alpha's commanding voice was heard by all her followers. They retreated slightly and looked at the woman in charge approaching with Beta right behind her. What are you doing?" she asked the people gathered around Connie.

"She killed him" the woman spoke. "We were going to avenge him."

Alpha stood directly in front of Connie, trying to speak clearly to her. "Did you kill this man?"

Connie nodded her head.

"Why?" Alpha asked as she pulled the rock from Connie's hand.

Connie stared stoically into the chilling woman's face as she began to sign furiously.

He attacked me! He was trying to rape me and I stopped him. I killed him and I'm glad I did! If I could, I'd kill every last one of you! Do whatever you want to me but I'm not afraid of you, you crazy bitch!

"You have a lot to say, don't you?" Alpha asked in a soothing voice. "I look forward to the day when I'll be able to understand it all." Alpha turned to the others in her group. "Is there anyone here that can tell me what happened?"

The second man that tried to attack Connie stood in front of Alpha. He still held onto his bleeding face as he spoke. "He was trying to take her but she wouldn't let him. She hit him in the head with the rock and killed him."

"And what happened to you?" Alpha asked in her sick, velvety drawl.

"I...I was trying to help him...protect him and she, she hit me too."

Alpha crossed her hands behind her back and tilted her head as she looked at the trembling man. "Why are you lying to me?" she asked.

"I'm not lying," he replied, his voice shaking.

"The dead man tried to take this woman and he failed. She proved herself stronger." Alpha turned to the other man. "You were trying to take her too, weren't you?" The man vigorously shook his head. "Yes, yes you were. But you proved yourself no stronger than the dead man. She beat you too."

Alpha turned around and whispered to Beta for what seemed like a long time. When she turned back around, she looked at the man and smiled showing off her darkened teeth. The man stared back with wide eyes when Alpha immediately slid a sharp knife into the his gut. She quickly pulled it out and slid it in again and again. He gasped as he reached down to hold his bleeding belly.

Alpha addressed the others as she held the bloody knife at her side. "This woman is not to be touched. From this moment on, no one will harm one hair on her head. In fact, she is to be protected. She is my Gamma. Consider your lives of less value than hers. Is all that understood?" Everyone nodded.

Alpha walked back towards Connie and looked her in the eyes. "You protected yourself. You proved yourself stronger than your two attackers. Tell me, were they weak, or are you strong?"

Connie stood tall as she pointed to herself.

"That's very good. If they had been stronger, or if you had been weaker, they would have been free to have their way with you," Alpha stated as she grinned. "But you don't have to worry any longer. No one will try to harm you. In fact," Alpha said as she slid her grimy fingers into Connie's hand, "you'll sleep close to me from now on."

Connie choked back her anger and disgust as she nodded to Alpha. As they walked towards Alpha's tent, Connie's blood boiled inside. The only thing she wanted more than to see Daryl again, was to kill every last one of these monsters.

…..

Daryl took his last bite of eggs and set his fork on the plate. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes shot to the door when he heard the knob turn.

"Hey," Michonne said as she walked in. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah you too," Daryl replied. He meant it too. Daryl Dixon could count on both hands how many people alive that he actually liked to see. People that didn't make him feel like such an outsider...who he could be himself around. People that didn't irritate the hell out of him. Michonne was one of them.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she came to his bedside and took his plate off his lap.

"Helluva a lot better than I felt when I woke up yesterday."

"Sorry I didn't come to see you yesterday. Things are still crazy here and on top of that, R.J. had a stomach bug."

"He okay?"

"Yeah he's better. A little dehydrated but mostly back to bein' trouble today." Michonne looked at her friend and patted his hand. "Really though, I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I kept trying to get over here but..."

"Don't do that," Daryl said. "You got a lot to do runnin' this place and takin' care of a family. I'm a big boy and everyone here's been takin' good care of me."

Daryl watched Michonne as tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away but more immediately appeared.

"Hey what's wrong?"

Michonne shook her head. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Nice try," Daryl said as he squeezed her hand. "Tell me."

"When the Hilltop brought you here, I thought you were dead. You were covered in blood and barely hanging on. Then you had surgery and I still was so scared we were going to lose you."

"I ain't goin' nowhere...y'all are stuck with me," Daryl said, trying to comfort her with a slight smile.

Michonne didn't return the smile. "We've had a stretch of safety. We've had some wins over the last few years and I started to think that maybe our lives were in a good place. Like maybe everything was better – not just for a few weeks or months but for good." Michonne looked down. "Then the pikes happened. It felt like a nightmare from the past. And then you almost died and it all came back to me. I felt it all crashing down again. You almost died and things are far from over with the Whisperers. And I'm not ready for what it could cost us."

"We'll get through it," Daryl said in an optimistic tone.

"I would always say that to him. No matter how bad things were...no matter how dark or hopeless it seemed, I would always tell him that it would be okay...that we'd get through it. But the fact that he's not here, tells me that it doesn't always happen that way." More tears poured from Michonne's eyes and ran down her face. "Everyday, everyday I wake up and I still miss him. I still miss him like it just happened. Every time I look at R.J.'s blue eyes I miss him – every single time. You're a brother to me Daryl, and the thought of losing you or my kids or anyone else I've grown to love...it's just too much."

Daryl didn't know what to say anymore. He wasn't good at meaningless platitudes and condolences. He simply held her hand.

Neither of them was in a hurry to let the raw and tender moment end. They were both warriors, fortified by years of living in a sort of hell. But not right now. Physically, Daryl was certainly at his weakest and it had been years since Michonne had openly cried in front of someone. It felt cathartic to let themselves be vulnerable for a few moments.

"It looks like you're out of the woods with your injuries. We really are blessed to have some amazing doctors," Michonne said as she smiled at her friend. "I'm glad you're okay, Daryl."

Daryl nodded as he chewed his bottom lip. "Yeah," he grunted. "Me too."

"Well I have to go," Michonne finally said. "I have about a million things to do."

"I know you do. I'm surprised you're even here."

Michonne scoffed. "Where else would I be?"

"Figured you'd be out with the team Carol took out to get Connie."

Michonne knitted her brow in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Carol, she left to get Connie. I was gonna go too but she damn near tied me to the bed."

"Carol didn't take out a team. We're meeting with the other three communities this afternoon to discuss what our next move will be. We called our search party back and we haven't sent anyone else out yet."

Daryl sat straight up in his bed. "Carol told me last night she was leavin' right away. She said she just had to get the last couple members of her team ready and then she was headin' out."

"I don't know anything about that" Michonne stated as she shook her head. "Carol was supposed to wait for a unanimous decision."

Before either of them could say another word, the door to Daryl's room flew open.

Aaron stared gravely at both of them as he tried to catch his breath. "Hey we got a big problem."

"What's going on?" Michonne asked, as her eyes widened.

"It's Negan," Aaron replied anxiously. "He's gone."

"Gone?" Michonne exclaimed.

Aaron nodded. "Me and Laura just did a headcount and some others are missing too."

"Who," Daryl asked.

"Carol, Henry and Lydia."

Daryl threw off the blankets on his bed, stood up quickly and searched for his clothes.

"What are you doing?" Michonne asked. Daryl ignored her as he swung open the closet door and pulled out his clothes. "You can't go out there...you're still recovering."

Daryl couldn't lay in a hospital bed for another second. His best friend was with one psycho killer while she searched for the woman he loved, with a pack of psycho killers. It was too much and Daryl was jumping out of his skin. "I'm going to find Carol. I'm killing Negan and I'm getting Connie back," he declared stubbornly. "And y'all ain't gonna stop me neither."

…..

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this latest chapter and I'd love to hear what you think about it. Any predictions or suggestions? I have to say, my readers are the absolute best! You give me so much encouragement by being here and supporting me. I have had a really rough month and I've been incredibly emotional about it. But writing something and knowing you're reading it brings me more joy than I can express. I love being in this little world with these characters and all of you too. It's kind of fantastic and usually brings me out of my own small world of troubles. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know how much I love and appreciate you! God bless you friends!

The scripture is taken from Isaiah 40:26, the NLT translation.