S is for Shenanigan
"A devious trick used especially for an underhanded purpose; high-spirited or mischievous activity"
Robert the Romantic was finally outnumbered, and he knew it. It had taken a while, but he eventually realized, to his complete heartbreak, that Tiger did not want him there. For some reason, she actually seemed to prefer the original Colonel Hogan, even though he never seemed to spend any real time with her. But here Robert was, ready to stay by her side and do all her bidding, and she chose to reject him. It was almost more than he could take, and he began to lose all heart. Clearly there was nothing he could do but give up and hope that she came to realize the strength of his love later.
Unfortunately for Robert, the fact was that Newkirk, Tiger, and Schultz had no idea that he was so close to giving up hope. They still thought that the only way to keep him under control was to overpower him by strength of number. They did not know that at this point they could have just ignored him and he would have given them no trouble, as long as Tiger did not show him any affection at least. So instead they all looked at each other uncertainly, unsure what they should do with Robert and what they should do with themselves. So it was perhaps for the best that Tiger did have a fellow underground member in the warehouse, even though she had previously thought it was unnecessary and might draw too much attention to them.
This underground member, who went by the codename of The Fisherman, made sure he did not disguise himself as a fisherman when arrived at the warehouse that day. Everything seemed to be going alright for him, aside from almost getting roped into helping out with the cattle still living in the barn in the next building over, but for a few hours he was mostly content to keep watch over the place until Tiger could plant the dossier and the contact could pick up the dossier.
It was actually a rather boring job for him, so he did not feel guilty about wandering through other rooms of the warehouse as well. Besides, doing so helped maintain his cover as an auction worker. But as he was making his way through the warehouse, browsing through a stack of lampshades that did not sell, he suddenly heard a loud voice yelling, "Tiger!"
The Fisherman instantly went on the alert, chiding himself for wandering off while on duty. He did not think he recognized the voice, and when he heard it again a moment later, he was sure he did not know it. Still, it had not sounded threatening, and he had not heard Tiger yell for help, so he decided she must have the situation under control well enough to where he was not truly needed. Still, he decided to head back to the other warehouse just to make sure. If Tiger had been discovered, the Underground needed to know, and if anyone asked why he showed up, he could always say he was an auction worker who heard someone yell and went to investigate.
That in mind, he headed back to the other room, peering into it cautiously when he finally reached it. He could see Tiger, along with three men he did not recognize, but one was dressed as a Luftwaffe soldier. He could not hear much that the people were saying, but Tiger had her gun drawn on one of the men, so he decided that the situation must be serious, especially when he managed to make out the names of Colonels Hogan and Crittendon. He had never met or worked with either, but his wife ran messages to Colonel Hogan's group sometimes. Still, Tiger seemed to have it under control, so he decided his best option was to wait on the sidelines until things became more clear.
Newkirk was doing his best to explain the situation, but he knew he was not doing a very good job. For one thing, he did not know if anyone could do a good job. The truth was simply too unbelievable for any rational person to accept, and Tiger was very much a rational person. Schultz would probably accept the truth as them not telling him the truth for his own good, but he had a feeling that even Schultz would not be happy accepting a cover story in this situation. He mainly accepted them because they let him pretend that the prisoners were normal prisoners. This was a little too much even for Schultz, what with multiple prisoners showing up in Dusseldorf (which was where Newkirk thought they must be based on what Schultz told them about the auction—Robert's driving was too mixed up for him to guess where they were without other clues). Thankfully Schultz seemed too used to the prisoners and their shenanigans to ask him why he was wearing a Luftwaffe uniform.
"Newkirk," Schultz said, "what do you mean that Colonel Crittendon duplicated Colonel Hogan? You cannot duplicate people."
"Schultz, I have no idea how it worked, but now there are three Colonel Hogans, and only one of them is the one we want to have around. Besides, it wasn't really Colonel Crittendon what did it; it was Langenscheidt, so you should ask him instead o' me."
"Langenscheidt? But you said Colonel Crittendon caused it. And Corporal Langenscheidt knows better than to do something like that, even if he knew how to do it."
"Look, all I know is that Crittendon started it and Langenscheidt finished it. And for all I know there's more that happened after this one here kidnapped me."
"Kidnapped?" Schultz sounded a bit faint when he heard what the prisoners had been up to. "Colonel Hogan, it is not nice to kidnap people."
"I'm not Colonel Hogan," the duplicate responded, sounding heartbroken. "I am not Colonel Hogan, I am Robert the Romantic, my own free person and a purveyor of all things romantic, but she does not love me! How has it come to this? I would give everything for her, but she will not have me!"
And with that, Robert broke out into an exceptionally loud wail of complete misery. Schultz looked horrified by the scene, and Tiger looked serious. Newkirk simply rolled his eyes at the man's antics, heartfelt as they truly were, but The Fisherman jumped in surprise. He had no idea what was happening, but the situation was making less and less sense to him the more he observed. And so he made his way over to Tiger as swiftly as he could without running, the long black cape of his costume billowing out behind him. He reached Tiger's side and came to a stop, looking at the man crying in front of them. The man shook one fist at the ceiling above them as he let loose another wail, but as he lowered the fist, he opened his eyes, and they landed directly on The Fisherman.
The crying man took one moment to process the sight in front of him, but when he did, the cries turned into a shriek, and he managed to yell, "VAMPIRE!" at the top of his lungs before dropping over in a dead faint.
The Fisherman looked down at his vampire costume in surprise. It was not exceptionally elaborate, and he doubted that anyone would recognize it as a vampire costume without the blueish face paint he found with it, but apparently it had startled the man enough to render him unconscious. Tiger turned to him in surprise, recognizing him in an instant. She looked over at the other people, and seeing that the Luftwaffe soldier and the large man were checking to make sure the sobbing man had a pulse, she ducked behind him quickly. The Fisherman, or the Vampire as he apparently was, was surprised at first before realizing that she was planting the dossier in the dollhouse while everyone else was distracted. That was good. Even with this absurd turn of events, the mission would still be completed.
A moment later someone else came running into the room, and the Vampire Fisherman recognized him as the warehouse manager. "What has happened?" he asked in a panic, and Tiger answered before he could even think of an explanation.
"This man," she said motioning to the one who had been crying, "wanted to buy something that was already sold to someone else. When we told him he could not have it, he overacted until he saw Herr Muller," here she motioned to the Vampire Fisherman, whose name definitely was not Muller. "He was in such a state that he fainted at the sight of a vampire."
The Vampire Fisherman was sure that was not the truth, but the two other men seemed to pick up on it as though it were. "It is true," the large one said. "I told him that he could not have the toy chest shaped like the ship, and he did not like to hear that."
"And what of this man?" the manager asked, motioning to the Luftwaffe soldier.
"He was coming to tell me that I am needed back at my post," the large one said.
"Ja," replied the Luftwaffe man. "Sergeant Schultz is the best man we have at making the prisoners behave."
"Very well," the warehouse man finally conceded. "I am sorry to see you leave early, Herr Schultz. Should I call a hospital about this man? Or perhaps the police?"
"Oh, nein, we can take him to the hospital on the way back to the camp," the Luftwaffe man explained. The warehouse manager gave them a firm nod before turning and leaving again, undoubtedly trying to prepare for the costume auction.
The man named Schultz sighed a bit, and the Vampire Fisherman thought he looked upset at what had just happened. "Come Newkirk. We should get both of you back to the camp."
"Oh, you don't have to come, Schultzie," Newkirk the Luftwaffe soldier replied. "Now that he's unconscious, we can just tie him up and I'll take him back myself, and you can finish your leave."
"Newkirk, you are not supposed to be out of camp. Oh, what will the Kommandant say when he hears about this?"
"It's easy. He won't."
"How could he not? It is past roll call and you are missing."
"See, the Kommandant is missing too. It was something about him being kidnapped by aliens, though, not kidnapped by a lovesick duplicate."
"I hear nothing, I hear nothing, I hear nothing," the Vampire Fisherman heard Schultz mutter as the two men carried the unconscious man away and out the door, leaving him alone with Tiger.
"What was that?" he asked her at last.
"I do not know. But we need to contact our people in Hammelburg so they can make sure Papa Bear's organization is okay. I should go right now. Do you see where I put my coat?" The Vampire Fisherman looked around for a few seconds before spotting it and helping her put it on so that they were both dressed in black. "Before I leave, I was supposed to pass this to you if I had the chance," she said and pulled something out of a pocket.
The Vampire Fisherman took it in confusion, wondering why she would give him what appeared to be a miniature shovel. "I suppose this is for me to pass on to someone else?"
"It should go the Man of the Sea. He will know what to do with it."
The Vampire Fisherman was still confused, but he accepted that it would have some significance to his main contact, even if he himself never knew what that was. But for now, it was his job to watch over the dollhouse until the contact picked it up, and he vowed to do a much better job than he had earlier that day.
Author's Note: The Fisherman, his wife, and the Man of the Sea are a reference to my favorite childhood fairy tale. It is not well-known at all, but when I was little, I used to have my dad read it to me again and again. It is called The Fisherman and His Wife, in case anyone is curious.