Chapter 17
"Hi, Arthur," Harley said into the phone, busy trying to get all of the pertinent release details worked out with her Suicide Squad members while Bruce was in the mansion making his angry phone call to Bane. She wanted to be ready to call Amanda Waller together with Bruce whenever the Bat stomped or sulked his way back down to the cave after what Harley feared would be a catastrophically bad fight with his new friend.
Bruce did not have a lot of people skills, which was why she had insisted that he only listen in on the phone call with Deadshot instead of speaking up and making his presence known. He would have ruined everything, Harley knew, if he started poking at Floyd with his trademark Bat snark, and Floyd could really be so sweet and cooperative when he wasn't being insulted. Look how easily he had agreed to let Harley be his assassination booking agent! Really, it was just a matter of knowing how to talk to people, Harley mused, and treating them with dignity instead of derision.
She was all too familiar with the sting of judgment and disgust that normal folks greeted her with - from the prison guards who weren't in her pocket to the constant mockery that she received on social media, which she sadly couldn't avoid noticing as she had to lurk online to keep tabs on her amends patients. And yeah, Harley had earned the insults and attitudes, that was true… but she wasn't the old mind-fucked Harley Quinn anymore, either, and she still had feelings. Which were easily hurt.
So Harley had seen the pain and longing in Floyd's eyes when he'd learned a few years ago that he was a father, and she knew how much it ate him up that he wasn't allowed visiting hours with his child, Deadshot being deemed too dangerous a threat to be permitted that one little link with uncorrupted humanity. His baby mama sent photos and letters regularly, though, which Floyd kept carefully assembled in a battered manila envelope in his cell, and Harley's heart broke a little bit every time that Floyd took them out to show her the latest picture of his baby girl, because, except for the latest missives, the stack of letters and photos were creased and worn from Floyd's constantly handling of them.
But Bruce was doing a lot better at combatting his intolerance, Harley had to admit, even if she didn't trust him with Floyd. Letting Bane become Batman - well, that was huge. Considering what Bane had done to Bruce in the past. And reconciling with Jason - even if things weren't perfect yet, he was trying, and Bruce was trying to get to know her, too, and welcome her into the family even if he wouldn't have picked to have her in it. He was growing, Harley decided, but that didn't mean that he had arrived yet - and she was worrying in the back of her mind about what was going down between him and Bane even as Cluemaster picked up the phone.
"Harley," Arthur Brown answered warmly. "It's good to hear from you. Hasn't been the same on the Suicide Squad without you."
"I bet," Harley said sympathetically. "Are you all still working together good, though? Captain Cold's doing a good job running point?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah," Arthur said. "Him and Frosty even been keeping Boomerang on lockdown once we get to the drop sites since Waller won't let us ditch him for the missions. He's been pitching a fit about being left a sitting duck, but, hey, you leave your teammate to die, what do you expect?"
"Right?" Harley agreed. "That's good, I'm glad they're handling him ok. And you all are staying safe?" she asked.
"Eh, as safe as we can be," Arthur said wryly. "Given Waller's death-defying missions and lack of backup support for us. But we're getting by. You know us."
"I sure do," Harley said, a smile breaking out over her face as she twirled in her chair a little bit in front of the BatComputer. "So, I got some news, Arthur, and I need to know where you're at with a few things."
"Ok, Harls, what's up?" he said.
"I'm gonna get Waller to release the Suicide Squad," Harley said, "but I'm gonna let her keep hirin' us for pay with better backup and guns and stuff. But, I'm not a hundred percent sure you're ready to be out on the streets, Arth. I know how hard you've been workin' to get in control of your crime addiction and I don't want to mess that up for ya."
"Yeah…" Arthur said slowly, with disappointment in his voice. "I don't know, Harley," he said. "I hate to give up being on the Squad, though."
"Oh, you don't have to give the Squad up!" Harley said. "Sorry, honey, I failed to mention that. You can keep comin' on missions and you'd even get paid for 'em, too. But you can stay in Arkham in between 'em if you'd rather."
"Oh!" Arthur said, perking up and sounding pleased. "That would be great, Harley. I'd miss having the rest of the crew here, but if I can stay on the Squad and stay in Arkham…" he cut himself off and groaned a little bit. "Never thought I'd be asking to stay in jail, Harls," he sighed. Harley beamed to herself.
"Your daughter's gonna be so proud of you one day, Arthur. Really," she said.
"Well, I hope so," Arthur replied a little wistfully. "But nothing can change what a shitty father I was, or crappy husband, or how I fucked our family right up... "
"No," Harley said softly. "That's true. But it shows that you're tryin' now to be better. That's all any of us can do, Arth," Harley said, her voice echoing a little of Arthur's regret.
"Yeah," he said quietly. He cleared his throat. "Well, you take care of yourself out there, Harley, and tell the rest of the Squad I'll see them on our next mission."
"I'll do that," Harley said. "Take care of yourself, too, Arthur. Do you need some more books yet?"
"Yeah, another batch soon would be nice," he said. "I'm on the next to last one out of the last box you sent me."
"Ok, will do," Harley said. "Some more Agatha Christie? A lot of these newer mystery writers are crap but I'll try to find something decent out of the current bestseller list."
"Pick something with porn in it," Arthur chuckled. "That way the book won't be a total waste of paper if the plot sucks." Harley laughed, too.
"I'll do that," she said. "And I'll send more crosswords and word puzzles, too."
"Thanks, honey," Arthur said. "You're a good friend to look after us all so well."
"I do what I can," Harley smiled. "Bye, Arth. Be good."
"You too, Harls," he said as he hung up. Harley sighed in some relief as she ended her call with Arthur. She actually had known with one hundred percent certainty that Arthur wasn't ready to be released, but she had been hoping that he would make that decision for himself and she was both pleased and thankful that he had.
Because she still had her therapist ethics, even if no one except Jay believed that, and Harley would have forced Arthur to stay in Arkham for his own good if she'd had to, but she would have hated to impose that on him against his will. It was a telling sign of his therapeutic progress that he'd had the maturity to make that decision himself and Harley felt a good warmth in her chest.
Meeting his daughter Stephanie yesterday had made her care even more about Arthur's recovery, because she was invested now for Jay's adoptive sister's sake as well as for her friend's. It was nice when things worked out well, Harley thought happily to herself, before her anxiety spiked as she heard Bruce coming back down into the cave.
He looked tired, Harley thought assessingly, but not overly angry or despairing. Hm.
"How did your call with Bane go?" Harley asked him. Bruce sighed, but… Harley noticed that he seemed to be holding himself with a little more energy and alertness than he had been before he left. Interesting, she thought.
"We fought," Bruce said. "I yelled." He shrugged. "It was a fucked up thing for Bane to do, to try to hide it from me that he was off to kill someone. But we'll work it out when he gets back," he said in a mostly unbothered manner. "I think we could both use some time apart to cool off so it's not such a bad thing that he'll be gone all week."
"Ok," Harley said slowly, feeling some surprise. Because Bruce sounded a lot more in control and a little more like his old self. Very interesting, Harley thought, with some amusement beginning to quirk at the corner of her lips.
"Oh, I called Dick, too," Bruce said as he sat in his computer chair. "Him and Babs are going to come over after dinner. I'm going to hammer this shit with Dick out once and for all. It's got to end."
"Good!" Harley said, raising an eyebrow, genuinely surprised and intrigued now by the shift in Bruce's motivation. And courage, she thought to herself. He wasn't running and hiding anymore.
"Would you mind hanging out with Babs and getting to know her some while me and Dick talk?" Bruce asked her. "The kids can join in, if you want."
"Sure," Harley said, smiling. "It would be nice to get to know my sister-in-law." A snarky comment was on the tip of Bruce's tongue out of habit, but he suddenly bit it and stopped himself. Because Harley wasn't trying to annoy him, he realized, by rubbing the family connection in. She looked actually happy and excited and… well… dammit. That was a little touching and made him feel bad that he was about to crap on her parade. Well… fine. He could be nice. Or, at least, a non-asshole.
"Good," he managed to grunt out. "I thought we could have another game night after…?" he asked her. "The kids seemed to really like it and we haven't seen Dick and Babs for awhile." Harley's face lit up.
"That's fantastic, Bruce! You came up with the idea on your own!" she squealed, clapping her hands. "You're having a breakthrough!" she announced with glee.
"A breakthrough?" Bruce asked her suspiciously and a little grumpily, with a raised eyebrow to hide the little flare-up of pride that he felt inside at her words. Harley nodded enthusiastically.
"This is a therapist's dream moment," she sighed. "Not that I can take credit for it. Although, I will take credit for instituting game night, that was totally my idea first." She grinned. "But you are following up with it, that's really great," she said sincerely. "And you reached out to Dick on your own," she said with a big smile.
Bruce sighed and tried to hide the little smile tickling his lips and the faint flush on his cheeks.
"Don't we need to call Waller?" he grumbled. "Let's get that over with," he said, trying to recapture his Dark Knight persona, but he could tell that Harley wasn't fooled, even though she played along.
"Uh huh, sure," she said. "Waller. So let me talk first, but this time you can be the Bad Bat that you are, too, ok?" she told him. "Just back me up, whatever I say."
"Fine," Bruce said, and it came out perhaps not quite as reluctantly as he'd wanted it to appear. Because Harley grinned widely at him even as she dialed the number on her phone, which she set to speaker.
"Amanda Waller, who is this?" a sharp voice answered. "How did you get this number?"
"It's Harley," she said, and Bruce was surprised to hear a much sharper edge to her voice than he was accustomed to. She didn't sound like either her playful criminal self or her gentle therapist side, but she sounded… angry. And dangerous. He remembered her saying that Waller had been putting her team's lives at risk and it appeared that Harley took that pretty damn seriously.
"Harley Quinn," Waller hissed. "What the hell do you want?"
"What I want," Harley said coldly, "is for you to release the Suicide Squad, minus Boomerang and Cluemaster, and to let go of blackmailing their families."
"And why would I do that?" Waller sneered at her.
"Because I want that, too," Batman growled. There was a pause on the line.
"Batman?" Waller said disbelievingly. "Why on earth are you working with Harley Quinn?" Bruce glanced at Harley to see who should answer.
"Because I gave him a really interesting file," Harley said. "All about what his precious warden Amanda Waller has been up to at Arkham Asylum."
"Very interesting choice of extra-curricular activities," Batman said sarcastically. "I'm sure the governor and the Gotham Daily would love an exclusive."
"Now, Batman," Waller began in a conciliatory tone, "you have to understand, this is government-sanctioned. I'm not doing anything wrong here -"
"You're doing a lot wrong," Harley snapped. "You're threatening innocent people's lives. You're forcing inmates into suicide missions with no backup or support and inadequate preparation and resources. And you're not paying them a damn cent!"
"This is about money?" Waller laughed. "I should have known," she mocked.
"It's about what's right," Batman growled at her. "And trust me, Waller, government-sanctioned or not, your shadow organization won't take kindly to you being so careless as to let Harley get an entire brief of evidence against you."
"And full documentation of all of our missions," Harley added helpfully. "I think some hostile world governments might not take so kindly, either, to a few of the things that we've been up to for you," she said calmly. Waller paused again, then sighed.
"What do you want," she grumbled.
"First of all, the blackmail threats are over," Harley said sharply. "And I swear to God, Waller, you'd better pray to every deity you believe in that not one of the Squad's loved ones dies anytime in the foreseeable future, because no matter if it's a car accident or cancer, I'm gonna hold you responsible and Deadshot will deliver my sentence."
"Fine," Waller muttered. "No more threats."
"Next," Harley said, "you're gonna release Deadshot, Captain Cold, Killer Frost, and Killer Croc. Captain Boomerang is stayin' in prison, he's off the team. We told you he left Captain Cold out to dry in Nicaragua and you didn't give a shit."
"Boomerang's got good skills, so sue me," Waller snarked. "He has a lot more value to the team than Captain Cold. He made the right call."
"It's my call, now," Harley said with venom. "And Boomerang is off and stays in Arkham. Cluemaster is gonna stay on the Squad but he's also stayin' in Arkham, he ain't ready to be released and he wants to continue his treatment on the inside. But you better be treatin' him right, and he's gonna get the same pay and benefits as all the rest of us," Harley said.
"Oh, yes, back to the pay and benefits," Waller sneered. "By all means, continue." Harley didn't even bat an eyelash at her tone.
"We'll all be gettin' paid from now on," Harley said. "At my set rate per person. With health insurance. Retirement plans. Hazard pay. Oh - and full pardons," Harley said. Bruce raised an eyebrow at her. Harley winked and shrugged.
"You've got to be kidding," Waller said, sounding completely amused. "I can get you the pay and benefits. But pardons?" she laughed.
"Presidential pardons," Harley doubled down. "You say you're government sanctioned? You'll get it done. Or is the great Amanda Waller not so powerful as she thinks she is?" Harley asked slyly.
"I'll see what I can do," Waller muttered after a minute of silence. "It won't be easy, you know," she complained.
"What the fuck do I care?" said Harley. "That's your problem. You and the government been usin' us for free with no regard to our lives. Now you all are gonna take care of us. Or we're done and trust me when I tell you, that you won't be able to run a second squad because me and the Bat are onto you now, and we won't allow it. You like havin' a private merc army of villains? You'll give me what I want."
"You are a vicious and ugly woman," Waller growled at her.
"Why, thank ya," Harley said cheerfully. "They say it takes one to know one," she winked at Bruce, who grinned a little bit back at her.
"And from now on," Harley said, "I do the tactical prep for the missions and we get fully stocked with weapons and back-up and extraction teams and air support or we don't do shit for you. And that's final," she said.
"Very well, Harley Quinn," Waller sighed with agonizingly dry sarcasm. "Anything else you'd like? My head, on a platter?"
"Lady, Deadshot woulda got that for me in a heartbeat years ago if I'd said the word," Harley told her. "You don't gotta offer up what I can take for free." A growl came from the other end of the line and Harley smirked.
"There is one thing you can do for me, though," Harley said suddenly. "Stop callin' me Harley fuckin' Quinn. My name is Harley Hood." Bruce looked at her.
"Harley Hood?" Waller said. "What, like Red Hood?" she laughed in disbelief.
"Exactly like that," Harley said coolly. "I married him."
"Oh, I can't wait to see the Joker's reaction to that," Waller said with gleeful spite.
"Mistah J ain't been reactin' to nothin' since I killed him seven years ago," Harley said flatly and Waller actually gave a small gasp. "You think he's the Big Bad you've been dealin' with all these years?" Harley said with vicious triumph. "The Clown Prince was no match for Gotham's Queen, Warden Waller. And don't you forget that," Harley said with malice. "Because I can take you out as easy as I took him."
"And Batman is just fine with all this?" Waller asked sullenly.
"Batman has no problem with presidentially pardoned citizens who are doing private contractor work in patriotic duty to their government," Bruce said icily. "He does, however, have a problem with wardens who are abusing their inmates. You'd do well to remember that… Warden Waller," he growled at her. She huffed but stayed silent.
"I need the pardons in writing, tonight," Harley said to her. "And signed contracts by you and all of your little spooks who are financin' these operations, I'll fax them to you. Back pay for all past missions -" Waller squawked at that but Harley kept going - "in our Cayman Islands accounts, tonight. Enrollment forms for full health coverage and 401K's in my inbox by noon tomorrow. And as soon as I have the pardons and contracts and back pay from you, you're releasin' the Squad members I told you to, with all their personal effects," she said. "Weapons included. You have until nine PM tonight to get it all done."
"Or else what," Waller had the nerve to mutter.
"Or else Deadshot's gonna be bringin' me somebody's head on a platter," Harley said with an evil smile that only Bruce could see. "Chop chop, Warden. Time's a tickin'," Harley said before hanging up on her.
Harley stretched her arms out over her head and smiled with glee as Bruce just stared at her with what was possibly a little bit of awe. Or fear. Or both.
"That went good," Harley said to him cheerfully.
"I'm glad I'm not your enemy anymore," Bruce said to her completely seriously.
"You should be," Harley nodded. "I'm a very dangerous woman."
"No shit," Bruce muttered. "Why didn't you have Deadshot kill me during all those years when you wanted me dead so bad?" he asked her. "I wouldn't be here right now if you'd done that," he said.
"Eh, it was personal," Harley said. "I wanted to do it myself. Wouldn't have been as satisfying otherwise."
"Well, thank God you're a slightly worse assassin than you are super-villain," Bruce said, shaking his head at her in wonder. "How much of this town do you run, Harley?" he asked her suspiciously. Harley smiled at him and cracked her gum.
"Now that I'm in the BatFamily?" she asked him. "I'd say all of it."