The eyes long, the heart cries Chapter 16, a sailor moon fanfic

Hi everyone,

Here's chapter 16 as promised. I'm sorry that it took longer than usual to upload this chapter.

So updates: They still haven't found my laptop, I had to go and buy a new one because I was losing my sight working on my phone and iPad.

My nephew is getting bigger each day and it's just amazing to go through this journey with him.

Now on to reviews. As always, I so appreciate the time you spend to read my stories and leave me a review.

whitaker87: LOL. I hear ya.

Darkenedheart101: I love looooove your reviews:D

Serenitysweety: I know so many others also said they didn't expect Hiro to be her first. But you know what, it was just inevitable. I didn't want Mamoru to be her first, because he's always been her first in everything. Cheers and Merry Christmas.

SailorGaurdian314: I'm sorry you had to wait almost three weeks for this chapter. But here you go:) Merry Christmas.

Zanahana: You know what, I agree with how you saw their sex. I mean, people go to bed for different reasons. Some of which might not be as noble or loving as others. But in this case, I think both Usagi and Hiro just needed to prove something, to themselves and to one another. Let me know what you think about this chapter. And Merry Christmas my friend:)

Sieee: LOOOOL.

hime-futatsu: I'm so glad you like this story:) Let me know what you think about this chapter. Cheers.

Syulai: Yup. Emotions suck sometimes, and you're right. Life is not always butterflies and beautiful sunsets. Merry Christmas my friend. Let me know your thoughts.

: LOL. I'm also angry with Usagi, but you know what? Anger is good, it means we still love her:) Thank you for your review. Cheers.

Oloferne: Laptop is gone dude:(( And I miss it every day. But hey, I still have this story and you guys:) And I still have my crown, which is the most important of all:D:D:D Merry Christmas. Let me know your thoughts.

Guest: Yes, they did have sex.

Krys7: Sorry it took long. I usually update every Tuesday. But with not having a laptop and being on a business trip was so hard to do so. Here's the new chapter and I hope that you're still hooked:) Merry Christmas.

Nicole7579: I hear ya. So many others also said that they're concerned about their sex. But hey, not everything needs to be perfect all the time and sometimes people do rash things, right? I hope you find some answers in this chapter. Let me know what you think. Merry Christmas.

Guest: LOL I know, I was amazed by that phenomenon as well:D:D

moon romance: Hope you like this chapter. Let me know your thoughts. Cheers.

kathrick: I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Cheers.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you all have an amazing time, and a great end to this year. 2019 sucked on so many levels, but at least I had this story and you guys to love:)

Enjoy.

Golak.

Ayane had always been a favoured child.

Her parents adored her as their youngest and her older siblings treated her as if she'd been a gift, sent to them from the heavens; the rest of the family followed their lead.

She had walked through life knowing that very little was out of her reach; what she wanted, she could have. Her God-given charm, her elaborate demeanour and pretty smile could melt the hardest of hearts; and not that she had ever taken advantage of it, but she knew fate had favoured her in so many ways.

But then, Mamoru broke her heart and she had decided that fate could only favour someone so much.

He'd loved her; she knew he did. Maybe not in the world-shattering, heart twisting, bone-melting way she had always imagined being loved, but in his own unique way, Mamoru had cherished her and she had grown to love the way he made her feel.

She had tried so hard not to break into a million pieces in front of him. He'd looked so torn, so utterly defeated when he'd sat in front of her and told her of a past she wanted to toss aside as a fairytale.

"You're lying." She had mumbled in between his hurried sentences more than once.

But then...how could he have lied about being a superhero who saved the city night after night? How many times had he left her to her own wits, without a word and had rushed away as if the world had been on fire?

It was funny now that she knew the world had actually been on fire.

She had watched Mamoru, as he sat at the small folded chair at her kitchen counter and stared at the green teacup in his hands and told her the truth he had kept from her all those months.

"How could you?" She wanted to ask but then thought better of it. She wasn't a child; she wasn't blind to the danger and horrifying life he'd been leading and probably had to endure for the rest of his days. And she knew that he would do anything, anything to keep her safe.

She knew he would always protect her, even if she was no longer the keeper of his heart.

"We were married," he'd whispered so slow that at first, Ayane had missed the words.

"I remember vowing an eternity to her...and now…," he'd pushed his fingers into his hair with agitation and fell silent; all the while Ayane could only watch him with wide eyes.

Usagi Tsukino…

It was strange, but from the moment her name had rolled out of Mamoru's mouth, in that rushed and almost teenage panic, Ayane had a hard time picturing the small blonde in her mind. She'd met Usagi countless times, so why the hell couldn't she remember how she looked? All she could remember was her blonde hair and loud laughs.

She could picture Sailor Moon clearly though; she even remembered the heroine's tiny smile at her, once, so many months ago. Weird creatures had invaded a shopping mall in Ginza and the Sailor Senshi had turned up to save the day. Sailor Moon had helped Ayane on her feet and had asked if she was alright; before jumping up high to the sky and vanishing into the shimmering light of the afternoon sun, she had smiled at Ayane.

That smile was the only image on her mind now.

"I tried to ignore my feelings...I tried to fight them," Mamoru said and Ayane wanted him to stop talking. She didn't want to hear it and yet, she felt a strange pull to the story he told. She leaned against her kitchen counter, her side to Mamoru and never looked at him as he poured out his heart.

She had held her full and cold cup of tea in both hands and refused to look away from her tiled floor. Had it always looked this dull? She loved that grey colour, why did it suddenly look so hideous?

"And then…" Mamoru's voice wavered and Ayane felt him shift in his seat, "I died...and she...killed herself…"

Ayane had turned towards the sink then, no longer able to conceal the emotions swirling inside of her. Mamoru stopped talking when the first sob jolted out of her throat.

"Why are you telling me all this?" She'd sobbed.

He didn't say anything for a long while and then, "you're...my best friend…"

Ayane had stood in the middle of her kitchen, sobbing and aching for the love she'd lost and the man who was clearly in pain; he was her best friend too.

Mamoru hadn't come close; he hadn't hugged her from behind like he usually did. But Ayane had felt his presence. She could feel the natural warmth that seemed to ooze from every inch of him.

She tried not to inhale his spicy odor; she feared that if she did, she would never be able to let go of this frightening jealousy and hurt she felt.

"You need to go," she whispered.

She felt movement behind her; Mamoru's warmth had gotten closer for a moment and Ayane had held her breath. Was he going to hug her? Was he going to say how sorry he was? How utterly devastated he was for letting her go?

His warmth was gone and a moment later, she had heard the gentle click of the front door. She'd collapsed on the ugly tile of her kitchen and cried her eyes out.

Mamoru had come back an hour later, with food and a bottle of her favourite Dassai sake.

They'd sat in silence and Ayane had only played with her food and never stopped filling up her cup. She felt tipsy after her third round.

The alcohol had loosened both their tongues and their brains.

"I fucking hate you…" Ayane sobbed in between a weird tune she had started to whisper. She couldn't even remember what song it was.

"I know. And you have every right," Mamoru had never been a cheap drunk, but that night, he'd slurred and paused and sighed; his grief had been too much.

Ayane had spent the next few days thinking about her new predicament. Her boyfriend, the superhero, was in love with his long lost soulmate, who happened to be a tiny slip of a girl Ayane had always seen as a child; in some faraway universe, he had actually been married to her for heaven's sake.

But as the days went by and her head felt less heavy with confusion, Ayane had started to see everything in a new light. Because, even though she had walked through life knowing that some things just naturally got going for her, Ayane had never allowed herself to take anything for granted. She valued life and morality and above all, love.

So it came as a shock to her when she saw Usagi walking down the street, her hand nestled on Hiro Kousei's arm, almost a month after Mamoru's confession and their breakup.

Ayane hadn't seen Mamoru since the last time he had gone to her apartment, more pained than ever, and had told her that Usagi didn't seem ready for his feelings.

She stood by and watched Usagi and Hiro disappear into the crowd.

Damn it, she thought. What was going on?

"Die…"

"You bitch…"

Makoto let out a loud laughter, detached her hands from the game's handles and did a little victory dance.

"Aw, what's the matter?" She asked Rei, who was still watching the screen in disbelief, "Let me ask you this, do you like to lose? I mean, is that something you love?"

Rei threw her an angry glare and lifted her pointer finger, "Why you…"

"Rei-chan, don't be that kind of a loser…" Makoto chimed and threw her arm around the shorter girl's shoulder, "embrace it with dignity."

Ami watched her friends banter like middle schoolers over a game. If anyone saw them right now, they probably wouldn't believe that these girls were the same people who risked their lives day after day to keep the town safe. Especially now that Rei was sticking out her tongue at Makoto.

The sliding door made a slow whoosh sound and Mamoru entered the arcade. He nodded at Ami once and walked up to the bar.

Ami watched him settle on the stool he always sat on and wondered if the parka he wore made him seem taller and a little thinner, though a tiny voice in her head told her that a piece of clothing can only do so much to a person's figure.

"I want a rematch," Rei hissed at Makoto.

The brunette raised her eyebrows and smirked, "You said that the second time you lost. Won't you give it a rest?"

"Do you want anything to drink?" Ami asked. She rolled her eyes and walked away when her words fell on deaf ears.

Mamoru was deep in conversation with Motoki. He had shed his parka and now he looked even thinner. His cheeks looked more defined and his neck seemed a little longer now that his hair was shorter. Ami could feel the aura of sadness around him.

She sat on the stool beside him and waited patiently for them to finish their conversation.

Motoki looked at her, smiled, and asked if she needed anything. She shook her head no and thanked him. Usagi might've been Motoki's most favorite in the bunch, but Ami knew that he respected her just as much.

"It's such a relief," Mamoru mumbled into his coffee. He watched his friend disappear into the kitchen and met Ami's confused look, "not hearing that ringing when you're this close."

She raised her brows and her mouth opened in a little "oh", "Was it...really bad whenever I was around?"

He took a small sip of his coffee and shook his head, "A subtle and distant ringing when you and almighty there…" he nodded towards where Rei and Makoto were still arguing, "were around. It was really bad when Rei was near…" he sighed and this time, he took a more generous gulp, "excruciatingly painful when Minako was there...and Haruka-san…"

Ami pursed her lips together and didn't say anything. They hadn't talked much about the past since the past had presented itself in all its heartbreak. It'd been obvious to Ami that Mamoru was reluctant to share his thoughts and emotions with any of them. Not that he didn't have every right.

They had spent months giving him the cold shoulder, watching him like hawks and controlling every little move he made, just to make sure that he stayed away from Usagi. Why would he trust any of them now?

Her eyes fell on the black communicator watch on his wrist. She'd been the one who had handed it to him a few weeks ago, per Luna's instructions. "You'll need this from now on," she'd told him.

"Whatever for?" He'd been hesitant to accept the little box.

"We need to protect you, as much as we need to protect Usagi, from now on," She'd pushed the box into his hand a little more persistent, "Minako has gone on a vacation…," she looked away from his questioning stare, "and with her gone, we need to be more prepared."

"Things seems quieter," Mamoru put down his cup and finally looked at her, "we haven't had an attack for…" He furrowed, "almost a week now. Don't you find that a little...concerning?"

Ami leaned her chin into her palm, "It is a little peculiar, but not surprising. We've had long gaps of silence before."

Mamoru took a deep breath, "I just have this feeling," he rolled his shoulders and stood up.

"What?" She asked.

Mamoru opened his mouth, but the words died on his lips. He looked at the entrance, Ami followed his lead, and their eyes settled on Usagi who'd just walked in.

She looked away from Mamoru quickly and gave Ami a tiny nod, before looking around and walking towards Makoto and Rei.

Ami had been aware of her companion's deep inhale and she tried hard not to stare at him. This hadn't been the first time she'd seen the same look on Mamoru's face, whenever Usagi had been around.

"Something is coming," he said, still looking at where Usagi stood behind her friends who had started to play another round and howling at one another, "I can feel it."

Ami wanted to tell him that Rei had had the same prophecy. She had been seeing an eerie vision she couldn't really explain in the fire.

But Mamoru had been quick to throw on his parka, grab his messenger bag and mumble a hurried goodbye to her.

She'd watched him walk towards the door with long and unsure strides, as if he'd been waiting for something, someone, to stop him in his tracks.

He lingered at the door, for just a split second and looked over his shoulder.

Ami's heart broke when she saw how quickly Usagi looked away from him.

Her heart broke even more when she saw the sad smile on Mamoru's face before he shook his head and stepped outside.

Mamoru had always been a light sleeper.

Living on his own had granted him so many useful habits, and probably some weird ones. But his sleeping routine had never bothered him before.

Until now.

Ever since he had allowed his head to listen to his heart and understand the depth of his feelings for Usagi, sleep seemed to be the only place he could have a few moments alone with her.

Sleep had become the utopia he could only dream of.

So, every time he woke up before sunrise and blinked into the darkness and felt that tingly feeling of excitement leave his body, he swore. And he swore even more whenever he woke up disoriented and confused because he'd been sure that this dream had been real; this time when he woke up, he'd be greeted by the sight of Usagi nestled to his side.

He worked hard and studied harder and fought harder, just to exhaust his mind and body to the point of fainting; maybe that way he could sleep through the night and the next morning and the next. Maybe...just maybe, he could live forever in the world of dreams.

In this world, he could do what he wanted and most importantly, he could be who he wanted, to her.

He could caress and touch and smell her hair; could kiss her worries away. Could listen to the sound of her voice, the ring of her giggle, make fun of her and laugh at her making fun of him.

Most nights, he would dream of the day he'd just had, but for all the loneliness he had to endure in real life, in sleep, Usagi was always there to keep him company.

His desperate heart commanded his head to shove him into a world much more beautiful than his real life. He walked in the park with Usagi, had ice cream with her at the arcade; played games and studied; and even in the world of dreams, she hated studying.

After a few nights, he had detected a pattern to his dreams and he understood how the day he'd just had set the stage for the sleep he yearned for.

If he hadn't seen her all day, at night, he would often be alone and cozy with her. They strolled down Asakusa, hand in hand, and took in the wonder that was old Tokyo.

If he had seen her, just for a little while, he would be thrown into the same place they'd met. The real world Usagi didn't say more than two words to him nowadays, but this Usagi was all talk and laugh and happiness.

If there had been a fight that day, where he had pulled her out of harm's way, or better yet, had pushed himself in front of her and had taken a blast or two, in his utopia she would always be there to comfort his wounds and his very soul.

Some days he would go to the arcade and the sight of Usagi giggling intimately with Hiro Kousei would force him to gulp down his coffee faster, shorten his conversation with Motoki and walk away. In his dreams he would often join them at their table and settle down; but not before greeting Usagi with a passionate kiss, because in this world, she was his and Hiro was just his good friend from school who happened to know Usagi as well.

Sometimes, God...sometimes he would see her at the arcade, alone and distant as she sat by herself at a booth and waited for her friends to arrive. He would occupy his usual stool, sip on his coffee and watch her; and knowing that she was well aware of his eyes on her only fueled his thirst to stare at her more.

And then he would go back home and sleep earlier than usual, because, fuck, he couldn't wait for what he knew awaited him on the other side.

"You want to get out of here?" He always asked in dreamland, whenever he found her alone at a booth in the arcade. She would always, always, nod with excitement. They would ride on his bike to the apartment and he wouldn't have the patience to have her in his arms until they walked through the door. This was his dream after all, and if his heart wished to have an empty parking lot and elevator, his subconscious would deliver.

My God, he couldn't get enough of her moans. He couldn't get enough of the feel of her body pressed against his; burning hot with desire.

He would have her again and again. It didn't matter where they were, he never could remember where they'd actually been whenever he woke up. But he knew they'd been alone and safe and happy...oh so happy.

Damn it, but he never wanted to wake up from these dreams. He didn't want to stop kissing her and eat her up in the way that had her howl into the void of their surroundings. He never wanted to stop watching her from above, as she teased him and played with him and had him right there with her hand and her eyes and her mouth.

"I'm never letting you go," he would whisper into her ear as she bit her lip and threw her head back because he had finally slipped into her and filled her up just the way they both wanted.

"Never, ever…" she would say and then moan because he had shifted them so he could fuck her deeper and faster and give them what they both wanted.

"Never...ever…" it was a mantra on their tongues as they pulled and pushed and groaned their desires into each other's mouths.

No...he didn't want to wake up from these dreams.

And then there was that day where he just wanted to crawl into his bed, pull the blanket over his head, go to sleep and never wake up.

"I can't do this anymore," She had walked up to him in the middle of his campus, where she had stopped by to visit Hiro.

"What?" He'd asked, his eyes glued to her face, watching every flicker and every move.

"I can't go through these dreams anymore...they're just...too much," She had whispered; her voice achingly broken.

"What dreams? You mean…" his heart pounded so hard he feared it would leap out of his chest and land right into her arms. Let it pound hard. Let it leap high. It would only get closer to its rightful heir.

"Control your inner thoughts or emotions or whatever," She'd said and looked around to find Hiro watching them from afar, "I can't live this dual life Mamoru...I can't be with him during the day and then…" she sighed and looked straight into his eyes.

Fuck...how could he say no to that face?

"It won't just go away Usagi…" he'd call after her before she got too far, "they won't just magically stop because I say so…"

She had walked away.

That night, he had stayed up past 2 am and set up his alarm for 5:30 am. He'd studied, watched TV and read a book. He didn't know when sleep had finally come.

He had jolted upright before his alarm went off and swore hard because fuck, Usagi had been crying in the dreamland and he had to go back and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

She was supposed to meet Hiro half an hour ago; it wasn't particularly surprising for her to be late; it was, however, confusing when she arrived at the top of the stairs of Ginza station and he wasn't there.

Usagi checked her wristwatch and looked around. They said they would meet at 6:00, right? It was almost 6:45 now.

She had rehearsed an overzealous apology as she'd rode the train and while she zig-zagged her way through the throng of people at the station.

She went up on her tiptoes and tried to look around; damn it. Had she missed him? Was he too angry to wait for her this time? Rei always said that one day her tardiness would get her into big trouble.

"She always has detention Rei-chan. I call that trouble enough," Ami would often point out.

"I said 'big' trouble, Ami-chan. As in, I'll hold her down and make her eat dirt the next time she makes me wait this long," Rei was always so blunt with her descriptions.

Usagi yelped when an arm snaked around her midsection and she was pulled against someone.

"Freeze…" Hiro whispered into her ear, "You are under arrest for being," he brought up his arm and looked at his watch, "almost an hour late."

Usagi tried to spin around and perform the apology she had carefully orchestrated. But Hiro held her there.

"You know," his mouth came closer to her ear, "as the saviour of the city, you could use some discipline…" he let go of her waist and Usagi turned around and met his playful eyes.

"I'm so sorry…" she started, "but I mean, it wasn't entirely my fault...Mako-chan wanted to…"

"It doesn't matter," Hiro cut her off and adjusted his bag on his shoulder, "you're here now. And…" he grabbed her hand and pulled her to walk, "I know how you can make it up to me later."

Usagi felt her cheeks burn and she looked away from his smirk.

Hiro was taking her to Kabuki-za Theatre. Usagi had never been to a kabuki drama and from what he'd told her, she had readied herself to sigh in awe.

They strolled the busy streets of Ginza towards the theatre. The sun would settle into the horizon soon and Usagi could feel the rush of excitement in her veins. Soon, it would be nightfall. Soon, she'd be greeted by the moon and all her worries would seem small and insignificant.

They stopped at a cross and Hiro let go of her hand for a second to zip up his coat. Usagi watched him as he tidied up himself and ran his hand through his short hair.

His dark suede jacket hugged his body perfectly. His short hair was tousled on the top and Usagi could see the subtle bling of his left ear piercing. It still looked a little pinkish and a tad bit swollen. She'd gone with him when he wanted to get it. She'd also gotten a second piercing on her right ear and he'd tried so hard to contain his laughter as she wailed and cried from the pain.

She was pulled out of her reverie when Hiro intertwined their fingers together and the pedestrian light turned green.

"Isn't it magnificent?" Hiro asked as they walked through the main entrance and Usagi looked around with appreciation.

"Aha…" she said without taking her eyes off the gold details of the building.

They settled in their seats only a few moments before the lights went off and a narrow green light was cast on the stage.

There, underneath that shimmering hollow, stood the most beautiful woman Usagi had ever seen.

She wore a dark red Uchikake kimono with gold and silver cranes and she had the biggest wig Usagi could imagine.

Even from that distance, she could see her exaggerated makeup, dark and matt and gorgeous.

Silence blanketed over the auditorium and slow music began.

The woman told a tale of a broken mythical phoenix. The bird, once the most beautiful creature in all the universe, had lost its wings and later, its will to live.

The yin/yang makeup the actors had on helped with emotional delivery and slowly, Usagi found herself enchanted by what was happening on that magical stage.

The phoenix longed to fly again; to sail the untouched borders of the sky, where no one could lay a finger on it and no one could impose another wound on its fragile being.

The actors moved like liquid fire on the stage; they sashayed and glided from right to left and Usagi couldn't take her eyes off them for one second.

"Do you like it?" Hiro whispered close to her ear and she could only nod. Because just then, the woman clad in that fabulous red kimono opened her arms wide and tilted her head to the ceiling. She looked surreal.

Silence fell on them once more.

"I love it," she whispered back and smiled in the dark when he reached out and squeezed her naked knee. His hand lingered on her flesh as they continued watching.

The phoenix had to fight hard to get back its wings. It had to become brutal and heartless in order to restore what had been left of its glory; "ego", the woman in red had whispered.

And all through this ordeal, a little mockingjay stood beside the phoenix; tiny, quiet and unimportant; it seemed that the phoenix never even noticed its presence.

Then the mayhem started. The bloodshed and the heartache. Usagi couldn't believe how a simple play could reach inside of her and pull out her heart.

"I shall forever hold you dear to my soul," the mockingjay murmured on its death bed, "I shall forever do so, for I am yours."

Usagi sniffled into her handkerchief and Hiro caressed her knee gently.

"I will always protect you. You are my purpose in life." Sailor Venus had choked out the words before leaping away from Serenity and landing right in the middle of the war that had destroyed their home and their lives.

Fuck. Why was everything so hard, so screwed up?

Usagi couldn't lie to herself; she was no longer angry with Minako or Rei; well, not as angry as she had been at least. She knew what they'd done, they had done it for her. But she still couldn't help feeling an emptiness whenever she looked at them. They had made a decision a long time ago, one that had robbed Serenity from a destiny that might've been different, maybe not better, but different than the one she had been sentenced to. Who was she kidding, Usagi knew that any destiny would've been much better than the one she remembered clearly now; if it meant being with him.

"Was it really that sad?" Hiro asked as he lead her outside.

Usagi wiped her eyes and pushed away her bangs; outside breeze felt nice on her damp face.

"It was. That music was just so…" She looked at him and pouted, "I don't know. It was just so emotional."

She didn't tell him how the last bit of the play had reminded her of her past life. Hiro hadn't quite accepted the fact that his girlfriend was a long-dead moon princess who was now fighting evil in a mini skirt. The last thing she wanted right now was to bring up Minako and their obvious uncomfortable situation.

As they walked leisurely back to the train station, Usagi's mind took her to that night, almost a month ago, when she had stood in the middle of his apartment and shocked him into a near heart attack.

She still didn't know what had encouraged her to tell Hiro the truth the moment he had woken up with the sound of her communicator. She hadn't even thought twice about it.

"I'm Sailor Moon," she'd told him, as she had scrambled out of bed, stark naked, "and I need to go and take care of a youma now." She had transformed right in front of his disbelieving eyes.

She had gone to her Senshi then and she almost had a panic attack when she saw Sailor Venus and Tuxedo Mask arriving at the same time.

"Did you just come here together?" Sailor Jupiter hissed at them before blasting the youma with a thunderbolt.

"What the fuck…" Sailor Uranus had snarled when Venus nodded and sent her love chain at the youma's head.

The youma had proved to be a difficult bitch. It took them a good hour to blast it back to hell and the whole thing had left Sailor Moon exhausted to her bone.

She had wanted to leave immediately after, knowing that Hiro was probably going crazy with questions and bewilderment.

But then Sailor Uranus had demanded to know what the "fuck" was happening.

"Sailor Neptune is seeing disturbing images on her mirror and Pluto is acting weird." She had thrown Tuxedo Mask a deadly glare as if he'd been the only one at fault.

Sailor Moon felt drained of energy. She felt a subtle soreness in between her legs and her body felt numb. She'd had sex for the first time only a few hours ago and she had abandoned her boyfriend, naked and confused, in his bed.

"I told Hiro who I am." She said out loud and wondered where her forwardness was coming from.

"What?" Sailor Uranus yelled, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"She knows what we did…" Sailor Venus' voice didn't have its usual ring. It sounded gruff and heavy and if it was any other time, Sailor Moon would've bent over backwards to figure out what was wrong with her friend.

She knew what was wrong and at that moment, she couldn't bring herself to react.

"Who knows what?" Sailor Neptune asked. The tension was so thick, only a magical knife could cut through it.

"Sailor Moon knows what we did...in the past…to Serenity, " Sailor Venus continued staring at Sailor Uranus.

The Senshi of wind furrowed and moved her eyes to Sailor Mars who'd been standing a few feet away from everyone else. She didn't look up at Uranus; she didn't look up at anyone the whole time.

She then looked at Sailor Moon and Usagi knew that whatever she was feeling inside right then, Haruka had understood perfectly; she saw how all the colour drained from the older Senshi's face and how she pushed her hand through her short sandy hair.

"I'm out of here." Tuxedo Mask had said and before any of them could do anything, he'd disappeared into the night.

"Do you want to come over to my place? I have ramen," Hiro wiggled his eyebrows as they went down the many stairs of the train station.

She did. She really did. But…

"I think I'd better go home. Kenji-papa is not very happy about my late nights...what?"

Hiro shook his head, "Nothing. I just…" they walked inside the train and managed to find Usagi a seat, "I just...miss you, that's all," he looped his hand around the handle and smiled down at her.

Usagi felt her face burn; not crimson with desire, she thought, but vermilion with shame.

She might've shared so many things with him about Serenity and Sailor Moon, and yet, she had decided to cast as little light as she could on Mamoru's role.

Mamoru's alter identity was his and his alone; Usagi would've never gone around and spilled his secrets to other people.

"This weekend?" She tugged at his shirt and smiled up at him, "I promise."

Hiro's genuine smile only added wood to the fire of shame she felt inside.

But she couldn't possibly spend the night with him. Not when her sleep took her places she shouldn't go to.

"I want to come inside you," Mamoru had groaned into her ear just the other night and the dream had been so vivid, so real, that when she had woken up, parched and on the brink of hyperventilating, she had looked around her room for him.

She knew having wet dreams weren't particularly shameful. Hell, she even had had sex dreams about Motoki when she was younger and had a giant crush on him.

The walk from Juuban station to Usagi's house was short and they parted ways with promises of calling each other the next day and a kiss that had left Usagi smiling like a fool.

What made her not go to Hiro's apartment hadn't been the sex dreams...per se.

"Yes...yes...come inside of me...deep, deep inside…," she remembered herself moaning pleadingly as Mamoru pounded into her much, much harder.

And that, that was what kept her from going to her boyfriend's apartment and spend the night.

Ayane knew Mamoru's schedule like her own. She knew when he woke up in the morning and the routine he went through; from how he made his bed the moment he lifted himself out of it, to how many coffees he drank before leaving the apartment; one cup before getting into the shower and the second while he had a light breakfast.

She also knew his school schedule. She knew what days of the week he had morning classes and which days he spent in the library and waited for his afternoon classes to start.

So it hadn't been completely out of the blue when she had appeared in front of the entrance of his faculty, two coffee cups in hand.

Mamoru had been surprised though. She could see it in the way he lifted his eyebrows, only slightly, and the way a thousand questions had entered his eyes.

"I just wanted to see you," She told him as she handed him one of the cups.

They walked shoulder to shoulder. She loved the Keio's Mita campus. It buzzed with life and whenever Ayane was here, she felt inspired. That's why she asked Mamoru to meet here, before their dates so many times.

"How was your day?" She looked up at him. Had he lost weight? Or was it his new haircut? His face looked more narrow and defined.

"It was alright. Finals are coming up and I'm not prepared," He let out a short laugh and took a sip of his coffee, "Mmm. Thank you for this," he raised the cup and smiled at her, "so; how was your day? Is everything alright?"

Ayane hadn't had a solid plan when she decided to come see him. But after seeing Usagi Tsukino with Hiro Kousei, she'd felt a strange tug at her heart. She had remembered Mamoru's eyes when he had told her how Usagi hadn't seemed ready for his feelings. His eyes had haunted her since then.

"I saw Usagi with Kousei-san the other day…" She tried to keep her tone nonchalant and maybe a little inattentive. Truth be said, she didn't know why she'd decided to come to Mamoru in the first place. Was it because she wanted to pry and see what was happening? It had been obvious from the way those two held hands what was happening though.

Or was it because she wanted to rub it in Mamoru's face that even though he had broken her heart for that girl, she still had chosen someone else over him?

She looked up at Mamoru's face and her heart sank. The lines of his face she had come to know and love for so long, seemed deeper. God...he was her best friend; how could she possibly take any pleasure in his sorrow?

"Do you want to talk about it?" they sat on a bench near the little garden.

Mamoru shook his head and stretched out his legs, "There's really nothing to talk about...I..." His voice trailed off as he looked at Ayane and a bitter smile lifted his lips, "She just doesn't feel the same way."

"And you're okay with that?" little by little, Ayane felt a strange anger creeping inside of her. What the fuck was he doing? Hadn't he died for this girl in a past life? Hadn't she killed herself for him? So what the fuck were they doing now? Could they just ignore all the history they shared, all that connected them to one another and walk through life as if nothing had ever happened?

"Do I seem okay to you?" He sighed and leaned his arms on his knees, "I'd spent months ignoring her. I can't just force her to forgive me for all of that now—"

"Who said anything about force?" Ayane could feel her heartbreak all over again. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea; coming to him and talking about his feelings for another woman. And yet, she couldn't just abandon him like this. Mamoru was her best friend, and for the longest time, she had been his only family.

Right now, she was all he had.

"You have to show her…" she turned to face him on the bench, "you have to show her how sorry you are and how much you love…" she gulped down the rest of her sentence. Damn it. She couldn't just say it out loud.

Mamoru had always been intuned with her feelings; He could read her like an open book. He reached out and grabbed her hand, "I don't know what I've done to deserve your friendship…" he squeezed her hand, "What I did to you...I can never take back and I'm forever ashamed of how things ended between us."

Ayane stared at their hands. She thought about all the other million times they had sat just like this beside each other, cocooned in each other's warmth. She remembered how they used to sit in silence, sometimes for long minutes, and just listen to the sound of their surroundings.

She looked up and smiled a sad smile at him.

She had come here today with the sole purpose of pushing Mamoru to be the man and get the girl he wanted, "You're a coward for letting her go," she had wanted to yell at him. But now, as they sat in the middle of this beautiful campus she adored so much, she understood that if you love someone, sometimes, it's just better to let them go. And it seemed that Mamoru had decided to do just that with Usagi; at least, for the time being.

"Minako is back…" Rei had said on the phone, "and she really wants to talk to you. I want to talk to you."

She had never heard such a pleading tone in Rei's voice. She wanted to tell her that of course, she was going to meet them. Of course, she wanted to talk to them as well. How could she think otherwise?

Well, maybe because you've acted like a total bitch for the past few weeks. Maybe...just maybe, your obvious distance is the reason why Rei thinks you might not want to see them.

Usagi felt sick. These girls risked their lives day and night to protect this planet, to protect her. And here she was acting like a child, over a fairytale of a faraway life that they'd once lived.

So she walked up the many stairs of the shrine, determined to show her friends how sorry she was for how she had treated them.

Rei had been standing by her room, waiting for her. She opened the sliding door and allowed Usagi to enter first.

Minako was sitting by the small chabudai table in the middle of the room, with her hands leaned against it and her mass of blonde hair on her right shoulder. She seemed thinner than the last time Usagi had seen her. She cursed herself for the pain her friend had gone through.

She wanted to say something, but another presence in the room prevented her to do so.

She looked at Mamoru, who stood by the opposite window, with wide eyes. His expression was unreadable and she couldn't quite figure out what was happening.

"Usagi-chan…" Minako started, "I invited him here, because, I think…" She took a deep breath and looked at Rei before meeting Usagi's eyes once more, "I think it's time for all of us to talk…"