Chapter 20 - The Tail Wags Back and Forth
They both returned home soon after the whole mess. Legosi had been right about the train being less crowded at least, but Louis still felt uneasy. Once they were back and safely to Louis' dorm, the deer told Legosi he had some stuff to take care of, but that he'd text him later. They parted ways.
Legosi entered his dorm room, immediately changing out of Collot's shirt and putting on one of his own. After that he flopped on his bed. Jack was gone now. He hooked his phone up to the charger, eager for the deer to text him.
He thought over everything that happened that day. He wasn't sure if he had felt such a rollercoaster of emotions before. And now he was committed to Louis' quest to free himself of his shackles. Such heavy shackles for one 18 year old boy to have…
His mind drifted back to that dark bathroom in that small cafe...Hugging Louis...it felt good. Felt right. He knew he had to push these feelings down as to not hurt Louis and his relationship with Haru, but he kept thinking about it.
Suddenly, the door opened. "Ah, Legosi, you're back!" It was Jack.
"Hm? Hey Jack. Yeah, just got here." The larger canine thought for a moment. "Hey Jack. What do you think of Louis-senpai?"
"Louis-senpai? Um..." He tapped his chin. "He's pretty scary."
Legosi held a thoughtful expression. "What makes you think that?"
"The way he looks at everyone and always crosses his arms! He seems so mad, it's scary!" Jack didn't know the truth. That Louis was really just a struggling kid.
Legosi could only picture every time Louis had shown him vulnerability. He knew he shouldn't tell Jack about it, though. He didn't want to reveal anything about Louis without his permission. "Do you think it's weird that I'm friends with him?"
"Not sure. You said his name quite a few times while sleeping. It was funny because I've never really seen you hanging around him before!"
"It is pretty recent and strange, but...he's not a bad guy at all."
"I'm sure it can't be very fun being around him, though! He's so uptight!" He was taking laundry out of a bag and folding it on the floor.
Legosi cracked a bit. He had to tell his best friend at least some of the details. "Well, only around others. Around me he's...different. And since the...kidnapping...It was hard on him." Legosi chewed on his claws.
Jack shook his head. "I still can't believe that happened! Everyone was so scared when they heard about it. If Louis-senpai can get kidnapped so easily, what does that say about the rest of us?"
Legosi slunk his head. It really was an awful situation, and Jack's question held two meanings. What did it mean for the vulnerable, and what did it mean for the carnivores that would be under even more suspicion now?
He sighed. "I don't know, Jack. Everything's so scary now but..." Legosi felt uncharacteristically optimistic for once in his life. "I think...things will be okay in the end."
Jack looked up and grinned. "Ooooh...Legosi being positive?"
Legosi looked away, embarrassed. "I dunno. Just a feeling I have." He looked back at his phone. He wanted to text Louis, but he did say he had things to do...
"You're never positive unless something really good happened." Jack came over and poked his cheek. "What is iiiiit?"
Legosi looked away, blushing. "Oh, just, uh, I've always admired Louis-senpai and I'm happy I got to become his friend."
Jack squinted. "You seem more than happy..." He gasped, tail wagging. "No way! Legosi! Do you like..."
Legosi rolled onto his side away from Jack, curling up in a tight ball. He couldn't hide anything from this nosy dog. Of course...that's the way he preferred it. His tail thumped lightly on the bed.
"Ooooh! Legosi!" He got up and started dancing and singing. "The tail wags back and forth, this is a sign of love. Le-Le-Legosi~ Le-Le-Legosi~" He pounced on him and hugged him.
"Y-you really don't think it's weird?" Legosi blushed hard, holding onto his best friend's arms.
"Well, do you actually love Louis-senpai?"
Legosi covered his face, muffling his words. "I-I don't know. I've never been in love before, and he's a guy too so...I don't know." Of course, deep down he knew.
"I don't think I've really met a guy who likes other guys! That is way different than the whole predator liking herbivore situation. Oh, but you have that too!" He laughed.
Legosi kept his hands to his face. "I'm doomed."
"You can tell me how you really feel, Legosi." He put his hand on his arm. "I will support you no matter what." These were similar words to what Legosi said to Louis, which made him think of him more.
Legosi looked up at Jack. "I...I'm happy when I'm around him. I want to see him smile. I want to make him smile. And laugh. I want to take him places where nobody knows who he is or what responsibilities he needs to fulfill. I don't even care if he'd never feel the same way for me...I just want to make him happy."
Jack smiled. "But is it love, Legosi? Or...your version of it?"
"Well, I guess everyone feels love a different way." He sighed. "Have you ever loved someone, Jack?"
Jack tapped his chin again. "Hm...Nope! You know we both always get made fun of for being virgins!"
Legosi blushed. Could...could he and Louis even...if they really wanted to...He shook his head. Nope not going down that line of thought. He sighed again. "Thanks for listening, Jack."
"I didn't know you were into males."
"...I didn't either."
"It makes a lot of sense."
"R-really? Why?"
"Not sure! It's like one of those things that once you hear it, it just makes sense!"
Legosi made a face. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He wasn't even really sure about his sexuality. It wasn't something he ever even thought about, but now it had barreled into him out of nowhere.
He thought about what his other friends would think. What his grandpa would think...What his mom would have thought…
And Jack was right. Not only was Louis another guy, but also a herbivore, but he was just so...radiant. Even when he was vulnerable and scared, he still held such conviction. His will to fight against the fate he was handed...Legosi couldn't help but be transfixed. Inspired.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed. Legosi jumped, heart pounding. He looked at the message.
Louis: Hey, Legosi-kun.
Legosi quickly turned away from Jack, typing quickly.
Legosi: Hey Louis-senpai! How do you feel?
Jack smiled. "Is that your boyfriiiieeeend?~"
Legosi tried to kick him off the bed gently with his foot, his tail wapping against the comforter again.
Jack almost lost balance. "Booooyfriend!~" he teased.
Louis: I feel bad. I ruined our time out together by making it about me.
Legosi: No! Please don't feel bad about that, senpai! I still enjoyed going to the city with you!
His heart fluttered.
Louis: I know, of course you did.
Legosi: Maybe we can go someplace one day where nobody would know who you are.
Louis: You need a nicer shirt for that.
Legosi: We can go shopping if it's a place nobody knows you.
His tail started thumping harder, something Jack laughed at from his own bed.
Louis: It feels like anywhere I am, someone knows me.
Legosi: We'd just have to leave the country then.
He blushed, quickly following up.
Legosi: That was a joke.
Louis: If only.
Did he mean it?
Jack was smiling goofily. "This could be good for you, Legosi."
Legosi didn't look away from the screen. He doesn't know about the true weight of the situation, of course. About Louis-senpai's dilemma...and I can't tell him. "M-maybe."
Jack knew he was turned around, so he slipped toward his bed very slowly.
Legosi: So, when should we meet again?
Louis: Whenever you want, I guess. You already know my situation.
Legosi: Maybe we can find a quiet place on campus to go to. I use the drained pool sometimes.
Louis: Maybe. This must be hard for you.
Legosi shook his head in disbelief.
Legosi: Nothing compared to what you're going through.
Louis: I am pulling you through all this mud with me, though.
Legosi: I've been through worse.
Legosi froze. He wasn't sure if he was ready to unpack all of that quite yet…
Louis: In the end it all balls up into something bigger than it started.
Louis: You didn't have to defend me back there.
Suddenly, fur slid across Legosi's ear. "So have you kissed yet?" Jack whispered.
Legosi jumped, accidentally hitting some keys and sending a message.
Legosi: hhhds
"J-Jack! No! Of course not! He has a girlfriend!"
Jack leaned back and frowned. "Oh."
Louis: What?
Legosi scrambled for his phone again.
Legosi: Sorry! Just my roommate startled me.
He thought about how lonely Louis must be crammed up all alone in his dorm. He even stated outright how lonely he could get…
Louis: Haha.
Louis: I've never known what that's like. Is it fun?
Legosi: Yeah, it's fun. I've known Jack for around 10 years now, though, and my other roommates for a long time too. Canines are generally pack-oriented anyway.
Louis: Does not compute. Robot Louis cannot comprehend this "fun" you speak of.
Louis: …
Louis: That was a joke. Please ignore that.
Legosi stared at his screen, flabbergasted. Then he laughed.
Jack's ears perked. "What did he say?"
"N-nothing! Just a joke!"
Legosi: That made me laugh! You are a fun animal, Louis-senpai!
Louis: Beep boop.
He's...so cute.
Legosi: Blip blop.
Louis: We can't have too much fun. My father might storm in and yell at us for not being exactly like he wants.
Legosi, feeling particularly bold from the good mood he was in, typed:
Legosi: Screw your dad.
He stared, wondering if he should follow up with anything.
Louis: No one wants to screw that infertile bastard.
Louis: He was so dry he had to get a kid from the black market of all places to be his son. Sheesh!
Legosi snorted, but was also reminded of Louis' past, which he had just learned about that morning. It seemed his mind had tried to forget about it already. Imagining Louis in that situation...it hurt his heart.
...Well, at least the deer could have a sense of humor about it.
Legosi: The only family I have left is my grandpa, but I haven't talked to him in years.
Louis: I bet he's nice, like you.
Louis: Not sure he can be as cute, though.
Louis: In a dog sense. Dog cute. Dogs are cute.
Legosi froze, watching the train wreck unfold.
Louis was internally dying, that had just slipped out of his fingers.
Louis: Haha surprise! I like dogs. They are cute. That is what I meant.
Legosi: Yeah, a lot of animals like dogs. Although wolves usually aren't included in that...
Of course Louis would like dogs.
Louis: CANINES THEN
Legosi continued to stare. It was as if another wall was gone when they were just communicating through text. A further glimpse at the true Louis.
Legosi: Well, I know that your father isn't nice like you, so I assume he's not as handsome as you are.
God, what was he doing.
Louis: I'm not sure. He makes grooming a first priority.
Legosi: Yeah, but I bet it's still true.
Louis: I can't believe it. That whole time I resented you for not using the strength given to you. I should have gotten to know you better first. But my mind sometimes doesn't work like it should…
Legosi blinked. He had known, more or less, that Louis's feelings towards his past actions were like this, but it was nice to see it in writing. Or typing.
Legosi: It's okay. I forgive you.
Louis: I'm disappointed, I just realized something else.
Legosi: What is it?
Louis: Once my dad finds out I don't want to be Beastar anymore, the money will stop coming in. I won't be able to buy a nicer shirt for you. That makes me sad for some reason.
Legosi: Well, then you'll just get a job you want to get, and get money from that.
He knew it was harder than that, but he wanted to be positive, dammit.
Louis: GASP! Job! Privileged Louis is furious! Delete that message right now!
Louis: ...
Louis: That was another joke.
The deer was groaning on the other side. He must think I'm a total idiot. Socializing is harder than it sounds…
Legosi: If you had the choice you'd probably throw the wealth away for a normal life, wouldn't you?
Legosi knew the answer.
Louis: I wish you could have met me as just a normal student. I could have little personal problems and everything and you'd treat them like they were the most important issues in the world...But now...We're playing a dangerous game of chess.
Louis: And you're my knight.
Legosi blinked. Was...was this flirting? He did call you cute just before...No, Louis was just unused to this. Clearly. Why would he like him like that? He couldn't jump the gun. Again.
Legosi: I've never played chess.
Louis: Oh. Uh...I guess that didn't make since then. It would have been even funnier considering the knight moves in an L-shape and your name starts with an L.
Louis: I need to put my phone down, this is ridiculous.
Louis: Sorry, I'm trying all this new stuff out. I think Robot Louis is trying too hard to be fun…
He honestly had just been trying to impress Legosi.
Legosi: Well I'm glad to be the animal you get to test it out on.
Louis: It's kind of awful.
Legosi felt like he couldn't be away from Louis any longer and it hadn't even been that long since they parted.
Legosi: Can we hang out tomorrow? If it's just in your room again that's fine.
Louis: Oh?
Louis: Okay, if that's fine with you.
Louis was curled up in his bed, with his legs behind him. I can't believe I just embarrassed myself like that...I also...Had plans with Haru-chan tomorrow...so why did I accept Legosi's request...?