Jane sits, staring at blood red hands.
There's nothing to do but wait in prolonged panic, run her living nightmare through her mind over and over. She barely notices when Zapata and Reade come in and try to reassure her that Weller will be fine, is still mentally lost in a puddle of plasma.
Jane is sure that the surgery is taking longer than it should, even though she has no idea what an average would be. All she knows is she needs to see him, know for a fact that she hadn't been too late. But the doctor doesn't appear with any news, good or bad; so there's nothing any of them can do but sit there, commiserating.
Patterson shows up while they've just done a second coffee run, talks to Reade and Zapata before going to sit beside Jane.
"Jane, calm down, you saved his life," she says, matter-of-factly.
"Not if he doesn't make it out of surgery," Jane replies, feeling guilty even thinking about the possibility.
Patterson shakes her head, gives Jane a serious look.
"Weller is so stubborn, there is no way this is how he dies," she says. "That is not how the universe works."
Jane looks at Patterson in disbelief, thinks she must have heard the scientist wrong.
"That is completely illogical," she says, even though she wants to believe exactly what Patterson is suggesting.
"Yeah it is," Patterson agrees. "But it doesn't have to be logical to be true. We all knew you would get to him, that you wouldn't let Weller die."
"But you all told me not to go," Jane replies, confused.
"By now we know you and we know Weller," Patterson says. "There's no telling either of you what to do. And somehow it all works out even when both of you are making the worst decisions."
Jane sighs, doesn't want to think about the bad decisions she's made in her short remembered life.
"Roman probably stayed to watch," she says, finally voicing her other concern.
Patterson nods, a worried expression on her face. "I'd guess so."
"So I've blown my cover," Jane states grimly. "He's going to try and kill me too."
"Not if we protect you," Patterson says. "We can double your protective detail."
"That would just leave more dead agents," Jane replies. "There must be another way. Some way to keep him away from Weller too, especially while he's recovering from this."
Patterson looks skeptical but Jane has a seed of dark inspiration, formed from half memories. She's only just started to twist together the strands though when her pocket vibrates, takes her back to the present.
Jane looks at her pager, then at Patterson. The idea of leaving the hospital without knowing the result of Kurt's surgery freezes her insides. But for her plan to work at all, she has to respond immediately, confront Roman before he causes any more damage.
"I have to go," she says, exhaling worriedly. "I have to stop Roman."
"How are you going to do that?" Patterson asks, sounding extremely skeptical.
"I don't have time to explain," Jane replies. "You guys make sure they take good care of Weller. I'll be back as soon as possible."
She sounds more confident than she is, really does not know her brother very well. But she has no other play, can't let Roman terrorize them anymore. It's already almost cost her dearly, and Jane's desperate, knows she has to end this situation, one way or another.
So she forces herself from the hospital, barely remembers to stop and wash Kurt's blood off of her hands along the way. Irrationally she feels like she's deserting him, that he'll know she's left. But she keeps going, walks out of the hospital because it's the only way to protect him.
Jane follows her usual routine of evasive maneuvers on her way to the meeting spot, tries to put herself in the right frame of mind to actually do something about her Roman problem. It's going to take something she's not entirely sure she's got, yet she has to go into it with confidence, in order to properly play her role.
When she gets to the spot, Roman is already there, rhythmically flicking his bloody switchblade open then closed again. It makes Jane sick to her stomach, the thought of that knife digging into Kurt. But it also gets a rise out of her, makes her insides flare red.
Which is exactly what she needs, a little fire to get her through.
"Did you think I wouldn't stay and watch?" Roman asks, his voice dripping with anger.
"Stay and watch me save the mission, you mean?" she snaps at him derisively. "That was incredibly dumb Roman, what the hell were you thinking?"
Roman looks startled, glares at her suspiciously.
"You're a goddamned traitor. You're working for them," he spits venomously. "You saving Weller is all the proof I need."
"Me saving Weller keeps the plan intact," Jane states, gives Roman her best cold stare, the one she half-remembers from being Remi. "Me saving Weller means you don't have to explain to Shepherd why her first choice at the FBI needs to be replaced."
"Bullshit," Roman replies. "You're working for them. You're in love with him."
Jane rolls her eyes, gives Roman an irritated, incredulous look.
"You think I did this for Kurt Weller? I did it for you, you idiot. I can't remember everything but I know he's a key asset and Shepherd would be pissed as hell to find out you killed him before Phase Two happens."
Jane mentally crosses her fingers, silently prays that she's channeled enough of Remi to cow Roman a little bit, make him question his actions, her motives. There's a chance he wants his 'real' sister back so badly he will disregard his doubts, fall back into his role as the little brother.
"You're lying," Roman growls, still fidgeting with his knife. "You care about him, I saw it in your eyes, how you touched him."
The best lies are made mostly of the truth. There's no way to deny her affection for Weller but she can still misdirect Roman, make him question himself.
"Sure, okay. I care about Weller. He's a good guy and I don't want him dead. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that is how Shepherd feels about him too," Jane says assertively.
Roman continues to glare at her but she senses a change in his confidence level, a tiny hint of doubt in his otherwise cocky expression.
"Obviously a lot of time and effort went into picking Weller, I remember staking him out. I don't know Shepherd's plan for him but it has to be pretty big. Did you really want to screw that all up just for the satisfaction of stabbing him in the shoulder? Because you're mad I'm not the sister you remember? How do you think Shepherd would react to you telling her Weller is dead, that a major part of the plan was destroyed on one of your violent whims?"
Jane pauses, exhales irritably. She can see Roman thinking about what she's said, flicking his knife open and shut rhythmically. But he seems to be leaning more towards anxious than angry now, his stare more troubled, less arrogant.
It's working, she thinks. Roman is used to being controlled by his sister, his mother. She just has to play to that instinct, pull on that fear. It's what Remi would do, what he wants from her.
"I bet you were even angry enough to threaten me, use my name with Weller. Now I'm going to have to explain that too. As if it's not enough to have to prove myself to Shepherd and to the FBI every goddamned day. Now I have to cover for you as well, come up with some bullshit to explain this all to the FBI. How I just happened to be outside Weller's place when he was attacked and abducted by an assailant from this organization I'm not supposed to know anything about."
Jane forces herself to not flinch at the memory of running herself ragged, finding him in a pool of blood. She can't think about Kurt right now, the crushing weight of his fate too much to bear emotionally while playing this part with her brother.
Roman seems to be teetering on the edge of belief. She just has to reel him in with what he wants. His heartless manipulative bitch of a sister.
"You can figure out how to explain this all to Shepherd, I'm sure she'll understand why we're losing time while Weller recovers from this pointless attack," she sneers. "You just better hope he doesn't remember much of your conversation, you're lucky he was pretty out of it. I didn't actually think you'd do something this stupid. It's a good thing I decided to watch out for you at Weller's just in case."
"Don't call me stupid," Roman flares at her, his first words in a long time.
"It was stupid," Jane states firmly. "And now I have to clean things up because of you. Why do I get the feeling this isn't the first time?"
Roman stops flicking the knife, leaves it open while considering her accusations. Jane can tell she's hit a sore spot, that her intuition was correct. Remi looked out for Roman, dealt with his messes. But she was also harsh in her judgments, would put him in his place.
Remi would disdain his weakness, giving into his paranoia. Jane is just afraid, both for him and of him. But mostly for Kurt, the sight of his blood still on Roman's knife eating into her.
She has to get this over with, one way or another. There's a gun in her waistband but that's a last resort. If she kills Roman now the consequences could be far reaching. She would be dead shortly, of course. But that was acceptable, her likely fate anyhow. The bigger question was an unknown; with the FBI infiltration plan destroyed, would Shepherd kill Weller too? Definitely if she thought he had any information on her or Sandstorm. Which made it too much of a risk.
So Jane just stands there, facing off with her brother. Mentally willing him off his much-too-valid paranoid ledge.
"Fuck you, Jane. Stop screwing with my head," Roman snaps.
"Well, stop screwing with my plan, Roman," Jane fires back. "Now are you going to let me to so I can go make a show being worried about Weller? I told them I needed to get some air, go home and clean up. If I'm gone too much longer they're going to get suspicious. There's already enough questions about why I was outside his place in the middle of the night."
"That's bullshit, you told them, that's why there was a fucking roadblock," Roman argues irritably.
"That roadblock saved your ass," Jane replies. "Shepherd is already going to lose her shit at what you've done. You think I'm a traitor? Let Shepherd deal with it. Don't sabotage everything because of a temper tantrum. It was stupid and you're lucky I was there to fix it for you."
"I told you, don't call me stupid!" Roman roars, stepping towards her with the knife out menacingly.
"Then stop acting like a child, Roman," Jane snaps. "I'm leaving now. You can figure out what to say to Shepherd."
With that she turns from her irate brother and walks away, waiting for a knife in her back.