Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
Chapter 18: Salad Days II
For but a brief moment, everything that surrounded Ermac – the table, the guests, the food, the candlelight – seemed to disappear. The music and the heavy downpour outside were suddenly overtaken by a silence so overwhelming that the construct thought his hearing had failed him. Only the whirring hum of his core, and not least the jarring echo of the statement issued by the souls within, proved otherwise.
He did this to us before in another timeline.
Ermac stiffened. No other words could match the bone-chilling intensity of this nine-word declaration.
What? Another timeline? What do –
The souls cut him off, striking his temples with a white-hot bolt of pain.
We have crossed paths with the swordsman in another time, another place, before this one … he hurt us then, as he is hurting us now.
Ermac wanted to shake his head, but found he could not – his throbbing temples were like weights, making it impossible to move even an inch.
That … that cannot be true, he opted to argue. We have no recollection of an alternate timeline, least of all one where we met Kenshi –
We know of what and whom we speak. The souls' response was harsh, banging against his eardrums. We would be insulting ourselves to even explain the insufferable agony that he put us through.
The construct grimaced for all he was worth despite his smarting. Fabrications were not an alien concept to him. Throughout his entire existence, he had borne witness to many a moment of deceit, treachery and dishonest behaviour. Shao Kahn, Shang Tsung, Quan Chi and Mileena had all exhibited these qualities without shame; the Black Dragon Earthrealmer, Kano, practically wore his ruthless guile as a badge of honour in any and all of his dealings; he had heard Erron Black and Ferra mumbling about the deviousness shown by Raiden's group of emissaries in their encounters with them a month ago.
And then there was D'Vorah's subsequent betrayal: it had taken him and his comrades aback when she betrayed them for Shinnok's cause, but none more so than his emperor, who for several days remained in a fury-laced stupor. Although he seemed to recover from the shock, Ermac found that the Osh-Tekk was … not quite himself.
It did not escape his notice that Kotal Kahn was in a disconcerted state of mind over the last few weeks as he went about his duties and personal affairs. He managed to pull himself together in preparation for Raiden's function, up until earlier tonight when Ermac sensed something amiss with him at the palace. Unfortunately, questioning him yielded nothing but "I am fine" – a feeble lie, yet a lie all the same.
So yes, lies were nothing new to Ermac, and yet … why would the collection of souls that he housed be lying to him? Then again, there was no way to confirm or challenge what they were saying about this other timeline and Takahashi Kenshi. After all, the multitude of souls that encompassed his being had lived for many millenia in comparison to his mere 25 years; the power that each essence carried could not be underestimated. There were surely those among them who possessed knowledge about the inner workings of temporal matters. Perhaps they also harboured memories of past lives from a timeline that simply remained dormant until now?
A timeline that was not at all kind to us. One made worse by … by …
Ermac clenched his fists. No. We cannot believe that Kenshi could do us any harm. His affable nature has proven otherwise, and that's that.
A brief silence.
Then, all at once, the souls within answered, uncharacteristically mild:
Is that so? Is this a belief that we must adhere to?
Ermac pursed his lips, but said nothing.
A hollow sigh.
We see. So be it, then. Go against our word, if it must be done. But consider this warning …
The voices of countless souls were lowered to an ominous murmur.
… continue to engage with the swordsman, and history will repeat itself. Before this dinner is finished, he will prove us right.
Their words had barely sunk in before Ermac felt the throbbing in his temples disappearing, leaving him feeling lighter and, above all, no longer in pain. At the same time, the sweet scent of the salad filled his nostrils, the entirety of the occupied table materialised before his eyes, and the sounds of the music and the rain became audible once more. In addition, he heard someone calling to him.
"Ermac? Ermac, did you hear me?"
Blinking, the construct turned to his left – a swift movement that would have been impossible to carry out minutes before. "Yes?"
Takahashi Kenshi cocked his head at him. His countenance, no longer creased by uneasiness, once again bore a cheerful expression, exemplified by the familiar smile that rested upon his lips.
"I was just telling you that you were right," he said.
Ermac blinked again. "About what exactly?" he questioned.
"The orange dressing. It is impeccable."
The Outworlder looked down at his lap.
"We are glad that you agree," he replied. "We admit to finding Earthrealm cuisine quite enjoyable thus far."
"I'm glad to hear it. If you'd like, I could ask Raiden, Hanzo and Johnny to share their recipes with you. The emperor might appreciate them, too."
"How very generous of you."
"I try my best."
There was nothing forced or arrogant about the way Kenshi said these words. Instead, they rang only of sincerity. Without thinking, Ermac found his own lips stretching outwards as he lifted his head to gaze upon the blindfold of the Earthrealmer.
"What have we done to deserve your kindness, Kenshi?" he quietly asked, almost murmuring.
Here, Kenshi looked mildly surprised.
"I think everyone deserves to be treated with a little kindness," he answered. "Treat others as you want to be treated, you know … Jax, don't you agree?"
Ermac looked across the table to find Jax Briggs staring at them through narrowed eyes that were sweltering with intense emotion. His metal fingers were wound tightly around both his salad spoon and fork, to the point that they looked ready to be bent out of shape.
"I'll go one better," the retired major rumbled, focusing on the soul collective. "It's called, 'Killing 'em with kindness.' And believe you me, I've got enough to go around."
Ermac felt his smile disappearing from his lips as he absorbed these words. As for the Earthrealmer next him, his own smile remained in place.
"If that's the case, then you'd do well to extend some of it to my son," he innocently said. "I'm sure he'd love to hear a kind word from you once in a while."
Takahashi Takeda looked up from his salad with apprehensive annoyance etched into his features.
"Dad, please don't …" he half-whined, half-hissed.
"Actually, I wouldn't mind you being nice to Takeda for once," piped up Jacqui Briggs, looking over at her father with a cocked brow. "Makes a change from acting dickish towards him all the time."
Takeda felt the colour draining from his face. "It's okay, Jacqui –"
"Dickish, huh?" responded Jax, furrowing his own brows. "More like being cruel to be kind, baby girl."
"Looks to me like you're overdoing the cruel part," was the specialist's retort.
Jax locked eyes with the pale-faced telepath, and he grunted.
"Kind word, my foot. You look like you need a blood transfusion more than anything right now." In a lower voice, he added, "Goddamn, boy, you look ashier than Smoke."
"Dad!" Jacqui hissed lowly.
"What? I could have said Quan Chi instead."
"That's not the point –"
As the younger Briggs and older Briggs exchanged a flurry of words, while poor Takeda's face shifted between shades of white and hues of red, Kenshi – still smiling for Earthrealm – turned his attention back to Ermac.
"So much for killing one with kindness," he remarked.
The smile grew bigger as the swordsman added, "I guess that sort of thing should be left up to me."
Ermac nodded, albeit without much conviction. Rather, as he listened to Kenshi's chatter, the construct found himself mulling over what he just heard.
"It's called, 'Killing 'em with kindness.' And believe you me, I've got enough to go around."
"I guess that sort of thing should be left up to me …"
A dull twinge wracked his temples as the harsh whisper of the souls reverberated in his mind:
Wait and see, for he will surely kill us with kindness yet.
"So Ermac, tell me about the palace in Outworld. Has it changed much since Kotal Kahn took over? My son was scarce about the details after he and his team, er, stayed over there for a short bit. Said it was nice, apart from a few flies –"
Just wait and see …
"How about that, Cass? Ol' Billy the Kid's actually Billy the Great-Great-Grandpappy!"
Cassie Cage snorted, almost swallowing a spoonful of salad the wrong away. She grinned at Johnny Cage, who had uttered that sentence in a hushed, amused tone. Then, she stole a quick glance at Erron Black, who looked reminiscent of a brooding child toiling away in sulky silence as he ate and drank.
"Guess that explains why he's damn miserable all the time," she whispered. "When guys get to your age, Dad –" ("Oh, f*** off," her father interjected without malice) "– they're only happy when they're miserable about something. Still, his ass doesn't look a day over 20."
"Honey, that ass is older than Sub-Zero and Hanzo combined."
"Er, pardon my eavesdropping on such an, uh, edifying conversation," spoke up Master Hanzo Hasashi, his eyebrows raised to high heaven, "but I'd rather not have my age compared to that of one's – ahem – southern extremities."
"Dang, you heard that, huh?" asked Johnny, vaguely sheepish.
Next to Hanzo, Grandmaster Kuai Liang let loose a sound that was akin to a chortle. He masked his amusement by trying to look unimpressed.
"Decrepit though you may think us, Johnny," he said, "our hearing is perfectly intact. And I must echo my comrade's statement: please leave my age out of any matters relating to a stranger's body parts."
The blonde-haired sergeant snorted again.
"So, if I wanted to rate that Texan tush out of 50-something …?" she asked, smirking.
Kuai rolled his eyes, although they twinkled knowingly as he answered, "Then your father can oblige you in that aspect."
"Okay, okay, we'll lay off the age gags for you mature folks," the actor conceded with raised hands, although he could not help but grin mischievously. "Hey, what's age but a number, right? Look at Raiden, for example – the guy's older than Earthrealm, but he looks like the love-child of Geralt of Rivia and a Rivendell elf."
"I will not even pretend to know who this Geralt character is," muttered Hanzo.
"All I'm saying," the other man continued, "is that you're as young or old as you feel. Kitana, you'd know all about that, I bet!"
Cassie, Hanzo and Kuai all turned towards the person whom Johnny was addressing: Kitana, who had overheard their entire conversation, was peering at him over the top of her wine glass with what seemed like a cool expression. Next to her, Liu Kang's face beheld a similar look.
"Pray tell, just what do you mean by that, Johnny?" the latter asked, his tone sharp.
Johnny merely shrugged.
"It's that whole Edenian life span thing," he answered. "Kitana, you must be, what, over 10 000-years-old? I wouldn't have known that just from looking at you."
Kitana's expression remained the same.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she stiffly asked.
Kuai quickly cut in: "I think what Johnny means, Kitana, is that compared to the average life span of an Earthrealmer, you look extraordinarily youthful for your age – and, may I just add, no less resplendent in your attire tonight."
Always gotta play peacemaker, huh, Grandmaster? Cassie thought to herself. Not that you needed to inflate Little Miss Fangirl's ego even more with unnecessary flattery.
Apparently soothed by the cryomancer's words, the former Outworld princess relaxed.
"A fair point," she replied. "It is because of my Edenian heritage that I am able to live a prolonged life, unlike my counterparts in Earthrealm. Although …"
Kitana turned her head to the right, glancing at the two clansmen – specifically at the Shirai Ryu. Her eyes were dazzling balls of flame.
"Although," she said, her voice a near whisper, "I am also able to live a prolonged life in my current state. Liu Kang and our guests enjoy this luxury, too, for the lack of a better word."
Hanzo's breath hitched in his throat. He could feel a twinge erupting in his chest as it built up pressure – a twinge that grew stronger as the former Shaolin monk slowly nodded, his gaze meeting his.
"Undeniably true," he declared. "The process that binds us still has bestowed upon us that benefit … if you wish to call it that."
On either side of the Netherrealm's rulers, Kung Lao and Smoke slowly nodded as well.
Even the act of gulping was too difficult for Hanzo to do. His hands, in which he held his cutlery, tightened around the handles until his knuckles – almost jutting through his skin – whitened. If one had to look closer, the cutlery appeared to be shaking minutely in his grip.
Reiseidearu ...
It was only when pale fingers brushing the top of his left cuff that the shaking stopped, and that he was able to release a mouthful of air, granting him instant relief. He looked up at his Lin Kuei counterpart, whose hearty visage smiled back at him.
"Just rubbing off a piece of fluff that I saw," he explained. "Must have been a piece of thread or a bit of hair. Perhaps it blew across from Johnny's side of the table; his hair looks on the thinning side to me."
Johnny grabbed his chest, pretending to look utterly affronted.
"Oh, you've got some old jokes now, huh?" he snarked. "For your information, Vanilla Ice, I take good care of my hair. Mama Carlton – bless her little soul – made sure I combed my hair and brushed it properly afterwards. Even when I made it in Hollywood, she insisted that I look after my luscious locks. She always used to say to me when I was a kid: 'John, you can thank your lucky stars that you've got beautiful hair like mine – not like your father who's got a head full of rats' tails. But you better look after your hair, otherwise you'll end up with rats' tails, too.'"
Hanzo blinked upon hearing this remarkable excerpt. Breathing freely now, and with the twinge in his chest subsiding somewhat, he gazed at Kuai from the corner of his eyes; Kuai's right globe met his, exuding that recognisable warmth that matched the smile upon his lips. Then, with a brief flicker before looking straight ahead, the Grandmaster commented:
"Your mother sounded like a formidable woman of note, Johnny. I've no doubt in my mind that she kept you in tow. At least, when she was present to do so."
The actor bowed his head, grinning. "She was a fierce little lady, alright. Ran our home like she was some sort of sergeant major … kinda like Sonya, but a firecracker times ten, with an unfiltered mouth to match. Dad and I adored her – he was more chilled, and always down for a joke or two. They were complete opposites, but they made it work."
Kitana cocked her head to the side.
"Sounds like two people that I know too well for my own good," she remarked.
"Your mom and dad, maybe?" suggested Cassie cheekily.
The former Outworld princess scowled at the other woman.
"Evidently, the apple does not fall far from the tree," she said, almost growling.
Cassie's glossy lips were puckered up into a smug little pout, but she said nothing. She was smart enough not to have the last word, for there was no doubt in her mind that Kitana would have whipped out her fan and cut her mouth clean off her face before she could even finish a sentence.
And God knows I wanna keep it 'til they serve dessert.
"Yessiree, my mom was a colourful character," Johnny continued to gush as he scooped up some salad. "Always had a snappy word for everybody, including me. She cussed me out when I told her I wanted to go into showbiz instead of something serious like accounting. Still, that didn't stop her from telling everybody else that her precious boy was in this movie or the other … provided she didn't tear my movies to shreds first."
Liu Kang nearly responded with "What right-minded person wouldn't?", but he held his tongue. So far, his compatriots had not yet made any leeway in terms of getting into Raiden's good graces. Between his reluctance, Kitana's coolness, Lao's lassitude and Smoke's bizarre behaviour, they were hardly endearing themselves to anyone … least of all Sub-Zero, the prime chess piece in their plans. Their former comrade was far too busy interacting with Scorpion to engage with any of the other guests. Barring Johnny Cage, of course.
We must make a show of being pliable … that we are eager to renew our relations with each other, regardless of our past actions.
A mute sigh.
And if it means having to entertain Johnny's nonsense for the next five minutes, I will do so.
Another mute sigh that was heavier than the first.
No other test of strength and patience that I have endured during my Shaolin training could compare to this …
"– so there we were, on the red carpet at the premiere of 24 Karate Gold, and I was signing some autographs," Liu Kang heard Johnny narrating in a loud voice. "Then this woman in the front of the crowd had the nerve to say to me, 'You look shorter in real life.' Man, I could have chewed her out for her fake Christian Louboutin clompers, but I was too much of a gentleman. But Mom heard her, and she immediately told her: 'He looks taller when he's standing on his pile of money.' We moved right along, and we left that gal's mouth hanging."
"Wow, Grandma Carlton was savage," tittered Cassie.
Kuai hmphed in amusement, shaking his head.
"Poor woman. Still, as long as she came to no harm, and that your mother was angry at someone else and not at you, then I suppose it was alright."
Liu Kang sat up in his chair and cleared his throat, trying his utmost to appear interested.
"A fascinating story, Johnny," he declared in what he hoped was a sincere tone. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that I would not mind hearing you regaling us with another one of your, ahem, charming tales."
Kitana looked sharply at her partner. "You do?"
Johnny also looked at him, albeit with a thrilled expression. "You really mean it, Liu-liu?"
The revenant inwardly flinched, but he nodded.
"Indeed, er, old friend," he replied. "I could do with some entertainment before we have to progress to the main course. That is if you could spare a few moments of your time to tell us one of your stories."
Hanzo stifled a groan.
Pandora had Epimetheus' box … Izanagi had his journey to Yomi for Izanami's soul … and now Liu Kang is courting disaster by encouraging Cage to run his mouth.
Clearly, he has succumbed to some strain of madness.
Looking as pleased as punch, Johnny tapped a deft finger against his chin. "Gosh, I have so many stories to choose from … it'll be hard to pick only one …"
"Perhaps one from your youth would be suitable," suggested Kuai, prompting his Shirai Ryu counterpart to stare goggle-eyed at him.
Good grief, Kuai, you are encouraging Cage, too? Is Liu Kang's madness that infectious?
As if he sensed his discontent, Kuai turned to him. In a soft voice that only his guest could hear, he said: "If Johnny must recount one of his stories, then rather it should be one from a time before he met General Blade and had Cassandra. In that way, he would be preserving their dignity."
Hanzo raised his brows in a sceptical manner.
Kuai bit his bottom lip. "Well, preserve it as much as he can. Additionally –" his register dropped to a deep octave that sent a wave of vibrations throughout Hanzo's chest "– I think it would provide a welcome distraction for you."
At once, Hanzo felt the heat of his cheeks rushing to the tips of his ears. Before he could make his reply, however, Johnny's voice rung out, making both the clansmen turn towards him.
"I've got one!" the actor proclaimed, snapping his fingers. "Ooh, it's a really good one, too, although it's a little embarrassing, considering it's from way back in the day. Still, I don't mind telling it, if it means brightening up the mood – it's been dreary as all hell this evening."
"Try not to go overboard, Dad," said Cassie good-naturedly, albeit with a slight hesitation.
"Trust me, punkin, it's a real side-splitter that'll tear Ermac's corset to pieces. Hold tight, Liu-liu, I just need to get everyone else's attention for a minute before I begin …"
Grabbing his wine glass, Johnny tapped his spoon against it. "'Scuse me once again, folks! 'Scuse me!"
Hearing the actor's loud voice, the rest of the guests at the table ceased their conversations and turned their eyes towards him for the second time that evening. The Shaolin musicians kept playing, although their attention was also drawn towards him. At the head of the table, a bemused Raiden was frowning.
"Johnny, is there something the matter?" he asked.
The actor grinned, making the Thunder God's frown grow deeper.
"Hope you don't mind, Raimundo, but I've had a request to tell a little story about yours truly. I thought it would be a great idea to share it with the rest of you!"
Next to Raiden, a look of exasperation flashed across Sonya Blade's features.
"Oh God," she groaned. "Don't do it, Cage."
Her ex-husband did not seem to hear her, for he added, "I won't take up too much time. Five minutes, I promise. That'll be enough time before we get to the mains."
"I – well, that is awfully thoughtful of you, Johnny, but –" Raiden started; however, Johnny cut him off with the clapping of his hands.
"Alright, then let's get into it," he declared, grinning for the Elder Gods and the realms beyond. Then, his voice took on a sing-song quality: "From the Page of Cage, between screen and stage, a story of mine from a young ol' age! So just sit back, relax, and let me work my Cagetastic magic."
Sonya was extremely close to hiding her forehead in the palm of her hand.
Meanwhile, Kitana and Hanzo aimed heated glares at Liu Kang and Kuai, both of whom seemingly shrunk in their seats from the sheer intensity.
As for Cassie, she grimaced.
Let's hope it's not too awkward like his rhymes, otherwise Mom is gonna snatch Dad's balls for a trophy.
Still, he told me that he'd make it up to me for embarrassing me earlier. I'm holding him to that promise.
Unfortunately for Cassie – and for the guests at large – Johnny was about to serve them a whole heap of embarrassment dipped in absolute awkwardness.
A/N: Happy belated Christmas, folks! :D I tried to upload this chapter before Christmas, but I've also had holiday work (and lots of holiday food splurges) to contend with.
Reiseidearu = "Be calm."
LoveLovers: Hee hee, then I guess I'm doing a good job describing the food. Yay, go me! XD I hope you have room for two more meals! Thank you so much, I'm trying to improve on the Kenshi-Ermac interactions as best as I can, so I hope their little exchanges in this chapter also sort of matched the quality of their interactions in the last chapter. Oh yes, Johnny is a natural at breaking up those tense moments ... it's just too bad that he's just as capable of creating tense moments for everyone else, as the next chappie will show. XP Thank you so much again, and keep well as we enter the new year!
Revenant Nonny: Not a problem, hun! I'm glad you were able to catch up on the last few chapters in your own time – as you can tell, everything is a little bit crazy at this dinner right now. XD Yup, I firmly believe that only someone like Johnny would be able to burn a darn salad (he should not be allowed anywhere near blow-torches). I'm possibly going to expand more on Sonya's relationship with her dad, since I've already covered Johnny's mother here (geez, imagine their parents in the same room together – their wedding must have been very awks, indeed).
Yup, Ko-Ko's not about to let Erron's age thing slide soon, and I can tell you right now we're getting some more Holsters and Arrows snarkery in the next chapter. I swear, they just need to blow off some steam somewhere other than the dining room ... thank you, writing the Kenshi-Ermac interactions is getting easier for me to do, and I enjoy writing 'em! I'll also be sure to sprinkle a little more Suchin-related moments in upcoming chapters (I'mma drown with you in the feels). As for the timeline thing, all I can say is that poor Ermac's souls are a complicated lot who just really don't like Papa-san. Hope you liked this chapter, hun, let me know if you did when you can! And yep, Raiden's concerns are about to quadruple when Smoke gets another moment soon. ^-^;;
Hope you all have room for more salad in the next chapter, guys! You're gonna need it after hearing Johnny's story (expect fish oil to be involved). Also, thank you all for reading this fic from its very beginning. The reviews, faves and alerts mean everything! Here's to a couple more chapters, have a happy new year, and be safe on your travels. :)
Reviews are welcome!
*~AI07~*