Posted 2019-1-5: Many thanks to chayasara for her fine beta work. Any mistakes are my own.

I think this chapter nudges us a bit further towards our ultimate goal. As always, I am curious to hear what you think.

~ Erin

Sue had chastised Charlie roundly for suggesting it, pointing out that he would only be undermining Bella's confidence in herself by implying she needed help.

"She's doing beautifully, Charlie. Don't worry about it."

He had frowned and fretted over this. She'd been fine when they'd gone out of town before, but still, Sarah was so little, and she had few friends locally. Leah and Seth were busy with their own lives, and he hated, absolutely hated, that the Cullens were beginning to creep back into her life. Alice, well, she'd been fine, but Esme and Carlisle. They were the lead traitors in this whole affair.

And Edward. Charlie was glad that he hadn't dared darken his doorway. The boy had enough sense to avoid a man with a gun at his disposal.

Still. Bella was a natural, calm and collected. Perhaps she was too focused on Sarah, but it was early yet.

"It's important to me, Charlie," Sue said. He didn't miss the quaver in her voice. It had been Harry's tradition to go with his friends on this hunting trip. She'd declined last year, but she wanted to see them, have them meet Charlie, say goodbye to her husband in this last way.

"You're right," he'd finally said. "Thank you for listening to my worries."

She'd squeezed his hand, and they'd made their final arrangements.

Bella had, of course, assured him she would be fine.

"You gonna keep yourself busy with more than just housework while I'm gone?" he asked, a little worried she would.

"Oh, housework. Live for it. Of course." She'd rolled her eyes. "I'm good, Dad. I'll try getting to the baby group and finishing some more work applications."

"Okay," he'd said. He was packed. It would be the longest he'd been away from Sarah, he realized, and that pulled at his heartstrings. "Don't grow too much," he said to her, as she gargled over his hand.

The first day in the house, alone with Sarah, had been great. Bella had missed having some independence and quiet and was proud of herself for making it to the mom and baby group. It was hosted in the church basement, and Mrs. Weber greeted her warmly. "So glad you could finally make it!"

Bella was the youngest of the mothers there, but they welcomed her, and it was good to feel included in something beyond her family. The babies played or lay on the blankets set out, and Bella chatted with the others there. She was surprised how much lighter she felt when she walked home.

By the next night, though, she realized that in addition to a few possible friends, she'd also brought home the flu. As she checked her temperature, she tried to stay positive, telling herself that it could be worse—it could be the stomach flu.

The night passed fitfully, and she struggled to get up to feed and change Sarah. By the early morning, she didn't hear her crying.

Edward did, though, as did Rose. After fifteen minutes of Sararh's cries going unanswered, Edward took a step towards the house.

Don't. Rose thought. We will not help by showing up unannounced.

"She's a baby, Rose," he muttered.

"And humans sleep soundly," she said. "Especially sleep-deprived new mothers." Rose's thoughts were lost in her human memories of her friend and her young baby. How tired she'd been.

Edward frowned. Sarah was so clearly distressed, her simple thoughts very, very clear and very, very loud.

The sound of glass breaking and Bella's sharp inhale made them both stop still. When the smell of Bella's blood reached them, Rose stopped breathing.

"Move back," Edward said, hearing the bent of her thoughts. "Quickly. Go hunt if you need to."

Rose made herself think of Sarah and then fled before her baser instincts made her do something she would regret.

Sarah's cries were becoming more panicked. Her thoughts were loudly so.

Edward knocked at the front door. There was no response. Using the spare key in the eave, he opened it and flew upstairs.

Bella had cut her hand on a glass by the bed. It had fallen and cracked. Her hand remained there, as if she'd been too exhausted to move it any further.

Sarah was shaking with her cries, little arms vibrating, the fear now fully blossomed into a body-shaking panic.

"Bella?" he called. She didn't respond. Holding his hand just over her head, he could feel the heat radiating off of her. Her breathing was strained, but she didn't appear to be in any immediate danger.

He went to Sarah next, picking her up. "You're okay," he said, rubbing her back. "Let's get you cleaned and fed." He continued talking to her, trying to soothe her with his voice as he changed her diaper.

"Bella," he said softly. "Sarah's hungry. Can you feed her?"

She gave a soft grunt but made no movement.

Edward didn't want to touch her and was quickly reviewing his options. Only Rose, Emmett, and he remained within the reach of phone. The others had gone to hunt and would be out of cell service for several hours. It was too early to call on human friends.

He laid his hand on Bella's shoulder. "Bella," he said again, "Sarah needs you."

Still nothing.

He sighed. Cradling Sarah in one arm, he went downstairs and found the formula, which Sarah devoured. He had to stop her at intervals and burp her to make sure she didn't have too much and become ill. While she fed, he found the first-aid kit and walked carefully back upstairs with it.

The workings of Sarah's mind were calmer now, and as he listened, he marvelled again at their complexity. When she looked at him, she thought of Alice, his cold touch so like hers, and this soothed her. Alice had fed and changed her. Edward seemed to fall into the same safe category. So trusting.

Her hunger abated, Sarah was soon asleep, and he placed her in her bassinet. Then he turned his attention to Bella's hand. The cut was clean and fortunately free of glass. He washed it with antiseptic and then bandaged it lightly. It wouldn't do to smother it. He cleaned up the blood carefully, washing everything down with bleach. He didn't want to risk his family members' instincts being roused near Bella or Sarah.

His hands told him her temperature was far above what it should be, and he managed to get her to sit up and drink some water but couldn't quite get her to swallow the pills that would help reduce the fever.

By the midmorning, the others had returned, and Alice arrived, having seen what had unfolded.

"She needs to nurse," he said to Alice, gently rocking Sarah.

Alice was working very hard to stay focused on the baby, but the smell of blood, still lingering, was muddying her thoughts.

"Alice!" Edward said sharply.

"I don't think I can do this, Edward. I'm sorry," she said, then turned and left.

While Carlisle came quickly, he looked a little exasperated at Edward's request. "Sarah will nurse, Edward. She just needs to be given the opportunity."

This was not news to Edward. "And when Bella's not delirious and asks what happened? She might accept Alice's help, but mine?"

"I see your point," Carlisle sighed. "All right, go. I can handle this for now, but I need to be at work soon."

Sarah had, as predicted, nursed without difficulty. Bella remained largely unresponsive, drinking when water was presented but otherwise sleeping.

"I think," Carlisle said, "all things considered, she'll understand."

Edward disagreed but kept it to himself.

It was around noon that she began to mutter in her delirium. What she said was always of interest to him, but this was particularly so.

"No Jake, don't . . . s'not Edward . . . don't go."

She murmured other things, too, most of them having to do with Sarah and something about Charlie and the microwave.

By late afternoon, the cut to her hand had coagulated enough that Alice saw she could return.

"Okay," she said, "I can take over from here."

"I'll stay," Edward said, "in case you need an extra set of hands."

When Bella's fever broke a few hours later, Alice had taken Sarah downstairs, watching her play under the baby arches in the living room. She had just started to reach for things, and Alice loved watching the stretch of her tiny grasp. She knew Bella was waking up but could see multiple possibilities unfolding and wanted to leave them well alone. It was long past time for this conversation.

Bella wasn't sure she was dreaming. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair. Dreaming, she decided. She smiled. She'd enjoy it while she could.

Edward looked worried. This was unusual for her dreams. His eyes normally didn't look dark either. The purple smudges under them were deep. He leaned forward, handing her a glass of water.

She took it, not avoiding his touch. If anything, she sought it, frowning, feeling how real his fingers felt.

"You should drink something," he said. "You've been really ill."

She took a careful sip, her eyes not leaving him. The water felt so good, but so cold in her stomach. Her hand shook as she put the cup down on the night-stand. Something tugged at a memory, but she couldn't place it. Dreams never make sense, she told herself

"Sarah's with Alice downstairs," Edward said softly.

Sarah, she thought. Edward and Sarah usually didn't collide in her dreams. She decided she must be very ill. Or was she? Was it just the dream? No, the shiver told her. She was really sick.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked.

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to get Sarah?"

"No," she said, still watching him. She was wondering why he wasn't lying down with her, holding her, the usual substance of her dreams. She wondered if she needed to ask him to. "Why aren't you closer?"

Alice was meticulously counting the threads on the carpet, shutting Edward out from any glimpse of the near future.

His eyebrows shot up. "Do you want me to be?"

She nodded.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and she took his hand, lying down again, holding it close to her face. "I don't feel well," she said.

"No," he said, "you've been very sick."

She was asleep within moments.

He could barely contain himself, feeling the touch of her hand over his. The shock of her warmth travelled up his arms and directly into his non-existent heart.

Did she still feel the way he did about her? He'd hurt her so much. He had no right to claim any feeling from her. And yet, if his heart still beat, it would be pounding with joy. He let his fingers play over her cheek.

She slept until the next morning, only sliding up to the surface of sleep when Alice brought Sarah to nurse.

I don't think you should be here when she wakes up, Edward, Alice thought.

He agreed. Her patterns told him this waking would be more concrete.

When Bella did awaken, she knew it was real.

"Alice? What are you doing here?"

"You," Alice answered, "have been very sick. The flu, so I'm told," and she handed her a glass of orange juice. "Sip that slowly."

Bella didn't need to be told. Just sitting up made her feel woozy, her throat fuzzy and dry. Her stomach was more uncertain. She quickly put the juice down in favour of the water beside her, then frowned at her hand.

"You cut your hand the other night," Alice explained.

Bella looked at her sharply. Alice's control around blood was not the best. "Did you—?"

"No." Alice shook her head, snorting. "Edward did. I had to leave."

"Oh," Bella said, swallowing again. "Where's Sarah?"

"Right where you left her," Alice said, nodding towards the bassinet.

Bella was struggling to get up. Alice's hand was there, pushing her back down. "No way. You've been out for two days. Stay put. She's fine."

"Two days?"

"Very sick, remember?"

"Who—?"

"We took care of you both."

Bella's hands went to her chest.

"She's been nursing," Alice said calmly.

Bella blushed vividly. "Who helped?" she asked, this time with a hard edge to her voice.

Alice sidestepped the question. "What do you remember? You were awake for bits here and there, but you were pretty out of it too."

Bella's eyebrows creased together. Then her hand flew to her mouth. "That was real?"

"Not a mind reader. What was real?" Alice asked.

Bella only blushed deeper, but then the colour drained most disturbingly from her face, and she closed her eyes, leaning back against the headboard.

"Edward was here," she whispered.

"Yes."

"Edward helped Sarah nurse."

"Yes."

"Who else?"

"Carlisle. Me, once your hand had healed enough," Alice said, a quaver of shame in her voice.

Bella was repeating the phrase breastfeeding is better than formula over and over in her head. It didn't matter what it took or who it took she told herself, as long as Sarah was well.

"Thank you," Bella murmured, "for taking care of Sarah and me. Could you bring her here, please?"

Alice did, and Bella sighed, feeling her safe in her arms.

After a while, she thought it was safe to ask another question. "Did I really ask him to come and sit with me?" It was almost a whisper.

Alice nodded.

Bella closed her eyes again.

Alice was surprised to see tears. "It's not a bad thing to still have feelings for him, Bella. I'd be surprised if you didn't."

Bella gritted the words out through her teeth: "It doesn't mean anything, Alice."

"It means you still have feelings for him."

She huffed out a breath. "It doesn't mean they're good for me."

"No," she admitted, "it doesn't. But he still has feelings for you."

Outside, Edward froze. His disbelief was monumental, and the anger was not far behind. Alice had no business saying anything about this.

Inside, Alice continued to work with her emotional wrecking ball. "He still loves you, Bella. He never stopped. He only said he didn't so you would move on."

Bella's shock, and then Edward's shock, were equal in proportion.

But Alice hadn't seen Bella's reaction.

"Get out." she said.

"But—"

"Get out," Bella said through freshly clenched teeth.

"Bella, you're still really—"

"GET OUT!"

Alice stood and walked at a measured pace down the stairs.

When Bella heard the door close, she put her hand to her mouth and tried to stifle her sobs. She was not successful.

The conversation between Edward and Alice was much the same.

"Leave!" he hissed at her. He didn't trust himself not to do worse, given the virtual bomb she'd just set off.

She held her ground though. "No!" she said. "Enough! You lied to her, Edward. You broke her heart. And then you made us all leave. You demanded that we go. There was no choice. You broke my heart in making me leave my friend. I'm done with this charade of yours. Pretending you don't still love her, like that will make this safer!"

"It was not your choice to make!"

"No, it was yours to make, you idiot! And you've failed at every opportunity! You barely deserve her, but she loves you still. Either end it entirely, or acknowledge what everyone with half a brain and eyes can see!"

She was fierce, her head thrown forward, hands clenched in angry fists behind her.

He wanted to rampage through the woods, ripping up trees in frustration.

"Leave, Edward," she said, her voice with less of an edge. "Jazz'll join me. Run it off."

He'd never wanted to attack his sister more than in this moment.

I love her, Edward.

The chill that ran up his spine stopped him. What was he doing?

Alice did love Bella. He could see it.

And what had his love done?

He didn't have to look far to see.

DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.