Some warriors prepared for battle by sharpening their weapons or polishing their armor. Some did so by praying, by renewing their vows and sacred oaths, or by thinking of loved ones and family. Some, he'd heard, would meditate on the inevitability of death, striving without fail to consider themselves every day as ready to die, as already dead.
Marco Diaz prepared for battle… by carefully applying eyeshadow.
He looked up at the half-size mirror he had smuggled back from Earth, along with his full make up kit, and the frilly pink dress he was now wearing. On that mirror, in the annex of Sir Lavabo's estate, in the candle-lit darkness of pre-dawn, Princess Marco Turdina stared back at him.
Well, almost.
He ran his comb once more over the long silky 'hair' of his wig, before tying it back into a waist-length ponytail. He looked back at the mirror, and smiled at herself. There. Now, that was more like it!
The whole thing wasn't as easy to do without Star's magic. His natural hair wasn't long enough by itself, for one. Plus, it had taken him a while to learn how to do his own makeup. Fortunately, he hadn't just had to master all that from yesterday to today. Far from it, actually. Marco had done this many times before. For photoshoots, mostly, and for modeling for merchandise. Those $650 didn't just come out of thin air, after all!
And, of course, he had kept the dress. That one was the original. The one Star conjured up for him almost a year ago…
Marco stopped that particular train of thought in its tracks. He just didn't have the time for yet another self-pity-fest about his former best friend.
Instead, as soon as he was done, Marco grabbed his dimensional scissors on one hand, and the iron-reinforced mop, which Lavabo had entrusted to him the night before, with the other.
He sighed. The hard part was just about to begin.
Not the mission itself. He wasn't that worried about old Miss Heinous, actually. Marco and that evil hag had crossed paths a few times already, and thus far he'd always come out on top. No, he was worried about a far more fearsome challenge than that…
Marco looked at his phone's clock. It was a quarter to six. He cut a portal through the air.
He knew exactly where Solaria's Plaza was, which is why he portaled two blocks away from it, into an empty alleyway. He was going to draw enough attention to himself no matter how he arrived, but the last thing he needed was a flashy trans-dimensional entrance.
At this time of the morning, there were very few mewmans out and about, at least within the town walls. Corn farm life was different, of course, but here in the city, people were just beginning to wake up. So, Marco was able to reach the plaza without being seen.
That luck, naturally, did not continue to hold once he actually got there.
He thought he would arrive early.
In truth, he was dead-last.
Lady Jaya stood leaning against the solid double doors of the eighth army barracks, flanked by two other knights: Sir Stabby and Sir… Thorncloak, was it?
While the other two were dressed in their usual chainmail uniforms, Lady Jaya was wearing full plate armor, everywhere except for her face. The pale silvery metal matched her solid gray hair, and there was an anvil-and-flame coat of arms etched into the center of her chestplate. Besides her, she had a bright red lance twice her own height, propped up against the building. The old lady knight gave Marco the faintest of nods and turned around to open the gates.
The rest of those assembled didn't seem to so easily take it in stride.
Sitting on the floor of the plaza, facing towards the three knights, and away from Marco, were the six squires. One by one, they turned to face him.
Nicholas' eyes were wide like saucers. Timore, too, seemed surprised, in that unexpectedly expressive way of hers, conveyed entirely by the shifting of flames and a skeletal jaw dropping slightly. Old Guy snorted, laughing at him, and Baby Man mouthed a half-silent 'Uh?'. The later seemed like he was about to add something, only to be interrupted by Meredith's loud whistling.
Higgs, for her part, looked thoroughly pissed off at the human squire. Well, no surprise there, at least.
But it was her knight's reaction that imposed itself over all others, and it did so loudly and violently, like the man himself.
"That's the outfit!?" he yelled. "It's even worse than I thought! What on Mewni was the queen thinking? It's already bad enough that we are forced to take the damn laundry squire with us, but this… this is pure mockery!"
"Ronald, calm down," came the quiet but firm admonition from Lady Jaya behind him. "We discussed this already. Everyone else: Squire Diaz is dressed in accordance with the mission parameters. I'll explain further in a moment, but not here in the open. Come on, follow me, all of you."
Jaya's words only made the knight more angry. "I've told you to call me…"
"Inside."
She picked up her lance and walked into the building. The two knights followed, and after that, the seven squires. Only then, and after closing the gates behind them, did Lady Jaya begin to explain.
It was, broadly speaking, the same explanation Marco had gotten from Moon's letter.
"So, we think all these princesses are being… tortured?" asked Timore, sounding surprisingly shaken for someone who had grown up in literal hell.
"We are going to another dimension for our first real mission?" asked Nick, trying not to sound too excited, and failing.
"So, at this school, are there princes too?" added Meredith, eagerly.
"Well, I think we have established there's been at least one," quipped Higgs, turning towards Marco. "Isn't that right, prince? Or is it princess now?"
The Squire of the Wash crossed her arms in front of herself, and in her best 'oh no, you don't!' voice, she retorted, "That's Princess Marco Turdina to you."
Higgs huffed and rolled her eyes, but turned back towards the knights. Marco was done taking shit from her, specifically.
"In any case," Lady Jaya continued, with the impassive expression of someone who is not only used to herding cats, but also making them march in formation. "We are not rescuing anyone just yet. Phase one calls only for determining, first, whether the intel we received from the Cloud Kingdom princess is reliable."
In other words, nobody was yet sure that Pointy Head wasn't just full of it. And Marco didn't exactly blame them. Of course, he knew a battle was inevitable, but it was better to play it safe, if only for the sake of getting the princesses inside St. O's away from the crossfire.
"With that said. Should the operation transition into a combat engagement, I expect full readiness from all of you," Lady Jaya warned them. "In the next few minutes, I'll be calling each of you to provide you with your assigned Armory equipment and instructions on its use. After that's done, we'll review the provisional plan of action. Please remember: this is not a game, this is not training, and it definitely is not a field trip. We might well be able to end the day without a battle, but we also might not. Remember your duty, squires!"
"Yes, ma'am!" they responded in chorus.
The first name called was Nicholas. The boy, still filled with elation for the upcoming mission, rushed to his knight.
Marco looked around, seeking for another friendly face. But Timore seemed to have already paired up with Baby M… with Claus. They were headed away from the main group, laughing together about something that Marco hadn't quite managed to hear.
That left… Oh, crap!
"So, 'Princess Marco Turdina', is it?" Higgs asked pointedly. "Guess I was absolutely, one hundred percent, right about you. Wasn't I?"
Both Old Guy and Meredith were looking at them now, more eager for the show than willing to really get in between the two feuding squires. Still, that meant that Marco had to watch what he said to Higgs, particularly regarding the whole robbery fiasco. Plus, Sir Stabby and Sir Thorncloak weren't that far away from them, either. They probably couldn't hear them, but he wasn't exactly sure of that.
"If this is going to be you giving me crap for dressing like a girl, Higgs, then get it out of your system now." Marco was channeling that Princess Turdina energy, hard. "Because we have a job to do, and I do not care what you think."
"Uh? Why would I care whether you dress like a girl or not?" Higgs retorted. "I care that you literally play pretend at impersonating royalty!"
Oh… he... honestly hadn't considered that angle.
"I always thought you were aiming to be one of them, and, big surprise," she added, "turns out you do, after all! Or are you going to deny it now, princess?"
"Uh… I only dressed like this in the first place to help a friend." Plus, he had led a revolt! Lady Jaya herself had mentioned it. How was that not a plus in Higgs' weird proto-anarchist worldview?
"Sure you did," she muttered. "And which friend was that, again? Your friend, the Cloud Kingdom princess? Or your friend, Princess Butterfly?"
There was no appeasing Higgs over this one. Was there? Maybe Marco could just try ignoring her instead, but he doubted she'd make that easy for him…
"Squire Higgs!" came the life-saving voice of Lady Jaya, calling the mewman girl over for her own weapons assignment.
Higgs sighed, seeming exhausted from the argument already. She gave Turdina, no, Marco, one last death glare before heading towards Lady Jaya.
As soon as she was gone, Marco ran over to Nicholas. He really wasn't any more thrilled about spending downtime with O.G. or Meredith than he had been at having yet another argument with Higgs.
He waved at the other boy, but, instead of waving back, Nicholas just stared down at the floor. He was partly hunched over himself, covering something with his hands, holding it near his chest. When he finally looked up to see Marco, his expression seemed hurt, and fragile.
"Uh, Nick, what happened?" Marco asked. Venting about Higgs would have to wait.
At first, the other squire didn't reply. Instead, he carefully slid his left hand to the side, revealing the blade that his right one was holding. It was a small dagger, and even calling it that was being generous.
Nicholas' hands weren't big, and the handle of the blade fit perfectly inside his closed fist. Yet, the blade itself was shorter than its hilt, and thin. It looked closer to a letter opener than a proper weapon.
"Lady Jaya said…" Nicholas' voice broke a little. "S… she said this is the only thing she had that she could see me using today."
Right. He had mentioned something about his knight not trusting him with any weapons, and how that was a sore point for him. But, well…
"Actually, isn't that an improvement from before, though?" pointed out Marco. "You told me she had said there wasn't a single weapon in the Armory you could use, right? And, well, that's a weapon. Isn't it?"
Nicholas looked at the tiny knife doubtfully. "Is it a weapon? Or is it just a joke?"
With a determined expression, Marco pushed his left foot back, lowering his center of gravity and assuming a combat stance. He pushed his arms forward and, with a defiant shout, raised the wet part of the iron mop he was holding towards the air, like a lance. "Hiii-ya!"
He wondered just how silly he looked to the other boy: wearing a dress, brandishing a mop like he was ready to meet a cavalry charge with it. Then again, that was part of the point he was trying to make.
"This is a weapon, Nicholas," he pointed out, as he slowly assumed a neutral stance again. "My knight gave it to me. I can fight with it. And you can fight with that knife."
"I… I suppose," said Nick, seemingly feeling a bit better. "And, like you said, it's an improvement. So, maybe all that training is paying off. Maybe if I keep at it, then it's just a matter of time before she can give me a better weapon, like a bow, or even a… huge sword."
His renewed optimism faltered again as he finished that sentence. Marco turned around, following Nicholas eyes, just in time to see Timore approaching. She was carrying a wide-bladed sword twice her own size. It was double edged, and wider at the base. The hilt had some sort of seashell motif to it. The Selkie Claymore, Marco assumed.
"Hey, Nicholas, um, Marco," Timore greeted them, oblivious. "You, um… look good as a girl," she added. She sounded sincere enough.
"Thanks, sister, you too!" Marco responded, passably disguising his own awkwardness.
The flames around Timore's goat skull face flared up a bit at the response, in that way the other two squires had come to interpret as a blush.
"So," Nicholas interrupted. "You got the Claymore again?"
"Yeah," Timore answered. "Claus got a mace and a Johansen Siege Shield. Old Guy got a bow and a bunch of Solarian Thunder Arrows. And I think Higgs is getting some sort of polearm, or was it maybe a poleaxe…?"
As the list went on, Nick's expression turned more and more sour.
"Meredith is with Lady Jaya now, so I'm not sure what she and Marco are getting," Timore continued. "How about you, Nicholas?"
"I… I…" The mewman boy began. His eyes were quickly welling up. Then, as if the effort of speaking and holding back from crying were too much for him, he abruptly shut back up and turned his head to the side.
"Nick…" Marco began to reassure him. But then…
"Marco Diaz!" came the call.
This time, Lady Jaya's timing hadn't been quite as great. Marco hesitated. Nicholas would be fine, but he still felt bad leaving his friend like that. It was clear this stuff really bothered him, and hearing Timore describe the other squires' gear had only made it worse.
"G… go ahead, Marco," Timore muttered. She moved past him and closer to Nicholas, then. As she was passing right by him, she whispered into Marco's ear. "I think I get it now. Sorry. Let me talk to him."
Marco nodded and, trusting that he was leaving Nicholas in good hands, rushed to where Lady Jaya was waiting for him.
"Alright squire," she began, sizing him up. "Let me see, what should we get you…" She began rummaging through a large wooden chest. Like the knight's armor, the chest also bore the anvil-and-flame insignia.
"Um, actually, Lady Jaya, uh, ma'am…" he trailed off. Lady Jaya was the Knight of the Armory. It would be presumptuous, no, beyond arrogant, to tell her how to do her job, but… "Would you… Do you think it would imperil the mission if I used this?"
Marco offered Lavabo's iron mop towards her, held horizontal in his open palms, as if - perhaps exactly as if - presenting it for inspection.
"Eyebrows' old mop?" she asked, seeming confused for a second. After checking out the mop briefly, her hard aged gaze fell upon the human boy. First his hands, then his eyes, then somewhere behind him.
Under the Princess Turdina dress, Marco's body became a stone statue, back straight and muscles tensed. He let himself be evaluated by the experienced knight, just the same as any sword, bow, or axe which might have passed through her care over the years.
Suddenly, Lady Jaya smiled.
"Oh, I get it now," she added. "You know, squire Diaz, your needs and young Nicholas' aren't the same…"
He waited for the rest of her rebuke. It would be a gentle one, perhaps, but a reprimand nonetheless. She would tell him what he needed in a weapon and, Marco knew, she would be absolutely right.
"That said, your concern for your friend is commendable, and I was planning to give you some sort of staff weapon anyways." It was faint, but there was something of a conspiratorial tone in the stoic knight's declaration. "So, no, I don't believe you using what is, after all, a traditional combat implement of the Order of the Wash, will imperil the mission. I'll… trust Eyebrows' recommendation as to your equipment."
Marco clicked his heels under the dress and saluted. "Thank you, ma'am."
She chuckled slightly at that. "And I trust your judgement in terms of standing up for your friends. I am glad to see you are not following your knight's footsteps in every way."
Right. It was Lady Jaya, after all, who had told Marco he had to make friends among his fellow squires.
At the same time, it was Lady Jaya who had given Nicholas that upsetting dagger. "So, ma'am… about Nicholas… if I may ask…"
"You may not," she stated, gently but firmly. "Tell me, Squire Diaz, do you believe you know more of what it takes to become a knight than I do?"
Marco kept his mouth shut on that one.
"Or perhaps that I wish my squire ill?"
"No, ma'am, but…"
She silenced him with a single raised palm. "At any rate, there is another business to attend to, and it is in a matter where I might actually care for your advice. But, first, Squire Higgs! Squire Meredith!"
Marco was about to ask if he should leave, when he remembered that the two squires called had already received their weapons. Instead, he stayed put, and was immediately rewarded for it.
Both Higgs and Meredith were wearing dresses and jewelry instead of their usual squire uniforms.
The latter seemed to have adjusted well enough to it, and even greeted Marco with a mock curtsy. Hers was a black 'victorian'-style dress. Well, technically it was an obscure side-fashion from the times of Queen Celena, and the Squire of the Wash could tell the difference, of course. But, in Earth terms, it was almost exactly a Victorian dress, corset and all.
Meredith had kept her usual goth make-up and Marco briefly considered showing her a few Japanese bands she might well feel at home in. Then he realized that might encourage her to sing some more, and buried the thought forever!
Besides, he had more entertaining things to focus on at the moment.
Higgs stomped towards the rest of them, holding up the hem of her long dress with one hand and clenching the other threateningly at the boy. She glared daggers at him, her eyes daring him to say a word, just a single word. A silver tiara sparkled on her head.
Marco smiled and purposefully raised an eyebrow. 'Not one word,' said her expression. 'Pass the tea and crumpets,' said her pastel-blue ball gown.
He kept grinning innocently and quietly enjoying every second of it.
"You three are team one," Lady Jaya explained, matter-of-factly. "Your objective is to infiltrate Saint Olga's and make contact with the princesses inside or, failing that, with Miss Heinous herself…"
Marco took another, much less teasing, look at the girls. Between Meredith's personality quirks and Higgs' searing hatred towards him, the squire wondered if he was really prepared for this mission, after all.
Once upon a time, in a far away land, called the Kingdom of, er, Knives, lived King Cleaver and his three unruly daughters: Princess Breadcutter, Princess Fruitstabber, and Princess Bonecleaner…
King Cleaver was, of course, Sir Stabby in disguise. Princess Breadcutter was Marco, Fruitstabber was Higgs, and no force on Mewni would get Meredith to let go of the name Bonecleaner, which was, or so she insisted, a valid type of knife.
As covers went, it was a pretty bad one.
"Not to mention, ma'am, Miss Heinous is going to recognize 'Princess Marco Turdina' instantly, no matter what I call myself," Marco had protested.
"That's the idea," Lady Jaya had retorted. "If Miss Heinous is the one to come answer the door, then you need only draw her attention while squire Higgs and squire Meredith sneak past her. But, I suspect it will be some of her hired help instead, in which case, well, maybe they will recognize you, maybe they won't, but whatever the case, they will want to bring you all inside."
And so, now here they were, right in front of the creepy dark front gate of creepy dark St. O's, with Sir Stabby pretending to be a concerned parent looking for professional help dealing with his three rebellious children.
Grumbling, 'King Cleaver' walked up to the iron grate and pulled the half-rotten piece of cord hanging from the stone frame. Marco had expected the doorbell to emit a blood curdling scream, like in a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Or, failing that, maybe a bell of some sort. Instead, there was a short, efficient, and definitely electronic 'ding-dong' sound.
They waited there a minute or two.
Marco was carrying his mop, while Higgs had actually taken her cue from him and was carrying a very large broom. Other than the fact that the handle was taller than her entire body, Marco had to admit she had managed to disguise the sharp metal end of the poleaxe as a broom's head in a very believable manner. You couldn't even see the gleam of metal behind the bristles.
Meredith, Marco knew, was carrying twenty-seven small daggers. She had dared him to search her for them. He had politely declined. More importantly, she was now wearing a plain mirrored brooch in the middle of the bust of her dress. There, hiding in plain sight, was their most important piece of gear: a magical compact mirror.
She had brought a sleek black electric guitar with her as well, complete with its tacky 'flaming skull' paint job. She also held it in plain sight. It wasn't a weapon, after all, and it certainly looked a great deal less alarming than the iron mandolin she had been carrying back in Quest Buy.
After a while, they heard a series of thuds on the other side of the door. Two masked guards came out to meet them. They walked in an unnaturally mechanical way, as if they were automatons instead of people. The reason for this, Marco knew, was simply that they were.
The fact that Miss Heinous' staff consisted chiefly of honest-to-God robots had been a shock to Marco the first time around, considering the otherwise medieval aesthetic of the princess school.
The artificial men stopped a step behind the other side of the iron portcullis, without opening it, staring silently at the new arrivals.
"Ahem," Sir Stabby began. "I am Cleaver, King of Knives, and I am here to enroll my three daughters to your establishment!" He waved his kingly robes for emphasis.
The guards didn't answer. Instead, one of them raised an arm, and pointed at a sign outside the courtyard walls:
'No solicitors. No drop-ins without an appointment.'
"Ah… yes… our… appointment," Sir Stabby began, clearly not in his element.
Marco was just starting to consider the pros and cons of announcing herself as Turdina and demanding to be taken to their leader, when he saw Higgs discretely elbow Meredith.
"Daddy!" shouted 'Princess Bonecleaner', with a petulant shrill whine to her that made Marco almost miss Meredith's usual singing voice. Sir Stabby cringed at the appellation. "You said we were going to Delphinidae! You said! I don't like it here! Daddy, I want a dolphin! No, two dolphins!"
Before the knight could say a thing, Meredith began wailing with all the force of her rather impressively powerful lungs - even constricted as they probably were by her corset. She was really selling the spoiled brat angle right there.
"I am sorry, I know we don't have an appointment," Higgs interjected then. No, not Higgs, Princess Fruitstabber. She was playing face to Meredith's heel, and she sounded prim and proper to a fault. "However, this is a bit of an emergency. You see, my sisters really could benefit from Miss Heinous' attention. And our dear father here, well, he means well, of course, but he is clearly at the end of his rope in dealing with them. Please, may we at least talk to the headmistress?"
The robots seemed to hesitate. Clearly, they were able to process all that, on some level. One of the two pointed a gloved finger at Marco. For a second, he tensed, thinking he had been recognized.
"And her?" the guard asked, in a gruff mechanic voice.
"Breadcutter?" Higgs nodded. "Well, she is a bit shyer than our dear Bonecleaner. But she is extraordinarily lazy, you see? Doesn't put a single care towards learning the graces of a proper princess. And, well," she seemed embarrassed for a moment. Hell, she actually blushed! Then, in a whisper that everyone there would be able to hear just fine, she added, "...she wets the bed. Like, a lot. Maybe Miss Heinous could help with that as well?"
Dammit, Higgs!
Still, Marco had to admit, she was a pretty darn good actress. She had actually seemed concerned saying that, rather than gleeful or proud. It was the kind of thing that could trip you up about Higgs, you wouldn't expect someone with such an explosive temper to be able to put on masks so convincingly!
The guard pointed then at Higgs herself. "You?"
Marco felt someone yanking the mop from his left hand, too quickly for him to react.
"Oh, I am here to help them in any way I can," said Higgs as Fruitstabber. "It's been my job…" she looked at Sir Stabby, feigning uncertainty. "It is my job," she corrected herself, "ever since my father died and my mother remarried his highness." She indicated 'King Cleaver' with a nod.
"I am honored to have become a princess by law, even having been born of less noble blood," she explained, and again, the fact that it was a personal sore point was obvious in her face; never mind that it was an utter fabrication! "So, in exchange for that privilege, I care for, clean for, and cook for my truly royal sisters."
So, she was goddamn Cinderella!? Or whatever the Mewman equivalent of that fairy tale was?
The guards looked at each other for a moment, then slowly walked towards the portcullis and raised it with a nearby winch. Higgs curtsied a thanks to them, and - secretly - to her audience of fellow squires and her knight.
Sir Stabby tried to enter as soon as the gate was wide open, but one of the robot guards stepped in front of him, raising a forbidding hand.
"Princesses only", he explained, curtly.
That was fine. Yet another thing Lady Jaya had predicted as a possibility, actually.
Meredith marched first, still acting like a petulant brat, which was an affectation, but an easy one for her to pull off. Then, Higgs followed, carrying her disguised poleaxe-broom and Marco's mop. Finally, looking towards the floor, trying to appear shy and embarrassed, Marco followed, with a hidden smile.
The corridors of St. O's were back to what Marco remembered. Unlike the photos Pony Head had sent Star sometime last Spring, there were no posters of him, or rebellious graffiti scrawled on the walls. There was some added wear and tear to the wallpaper, though, likely where those posters and scribbles used to be. Literal tear in some places, as if bits and pieces of it had been sort of… clawed out. But, other than that, it was the same place from his first visit: luxurious, elegant, and oppressively somber.
If anything, it was more oppressive and more somber than before.
It took a moment for Marco to realize why that was the case: it was quiet, really really quiet. Quieter than during Pony Head's birthday. There wasn't a girl's voice to be heard - not even one creepily muttering about pinkies and 90 degrees - and certainly not a princess to be seen.
Meredith kept at the front of the group, just as Lady Jaya had instructed. Her magic mirror brooch should be capturing everything they were seeing, and not seeing. Just outside St. O's grounds, Marco knew, Lady Jaya and the others were carefully watching the feed. It probably went out to Queen Moon as well, back in Mewni.
Meanwhile, Marco stayed the furthest back along the group. Higgs had even given him the perfect excuse for it too: Breadcutter was the shy one.
As soon as he was absolutely sure the guards were too far ahead to catch on, he tested the scissors. It was a small portal, barely wider than his own closed fist. He hid his end of the portal using Higgs body for cover, pushed his hand through to the other side, and gave the three knights and the rest of 'team two', waiting outside school grounds, a brief - in person - thumbs up. He closed the portal right after.
He had just confirmed what Lady Jaya had suspected: that Miss Heinous hadn't been able to get a new tramorfidian crystal up and running yet. Still, the older woman had instructed them to confirm that as soon as they were inside, just to be safe. Marco couldn't help but think that if the experienced knight had been the one planning the raid on Mildrew's castle, rather than Higgs and Old Guy, the whole thing would have gone very differently.
He picked up the pace slightly, until he was close enough to Higgs to nod at her, signaling his finding. She nodded back. All according to plan, so far.
Yet the march through the elegant halls of St O's was tense. The three 'princesses' continued following the two guards, deeper and deeper into the manor. Up a flight of stairs and then down another, along rows upon rows of cell-like 'boarding rooms' for the students, all conspicuously empty.
Occasionally, the group would run into another set of guards, always in groups of two, who would give the girls a look as they marched, but would return their focus to patrolling a second later. Their metal boots made the wooden floors creak loudly amidst all the eerie quietness.
Marco realized another reason he was feeling uncomfortable: it wasn't just the princesses that were gone, every single member of staff they had ran into thus far had been one of Heinous' robot henchmen.
That didn't seem right. St. Olga's had regular adult mewmans act as the teachers during its prime. Marco was a little too cynical to believe something like budget cuts explained the total lack of organic life around here.
Looking in front of himself, he could tell Higgs was nervous as well, if not for herself, then definitely for the fate of the other girls. Love or hate royalty, it was obvious she felt just as uncomfortable as he did with what this kind of silence implied.
He really hoped the princesses were okay…
It didn't help their mood that they seemed to be descending a great deal more than they were ascending, following their, um, guides, down multiple flights of stairs, interspaced by a labyrinth of corridors. Marco reckoned that they had long gone past the basement of the school, and then past the sub-basement as well. Down here, even the torn wallpaper was absent, and they were treated instead to bare stone walls and a series of terrifying ceiling mosaics showing some sort of winged creatures.
After what felt like forever, the guards finally stopped and turned right (at a perfect 90 degrees, Marco noted), unlocked yet another door, and hand-signaled the princesses to rush in. Meredith, Higgs, and Marco strode in, bracing themselves for whatever horrors might be waiting inside.
After his eyes adjusted back to the increased illumination, Marco realized they had been taken to an antechamber. Around it were numerous hallways that led to different rooms, but each exit from this exact spot was guarded by a robot. Atop each door, a powerful electrical lamp shone like a miniature prison searchlight. After a while of marching down gradually darkening underground corridors to get there, the effect was blinding.
Ouch!
A sharp elbow struck his forearm before he was done adjusting to the light. Higgs' elbow, to be exact.
Ignoring the pain, Marco looked over to her, where she subtly pointed at a large shelf. He quickly noticed another besides it. There were two such shelves between every two doors, going floor to ceiling.
The shelves were all full to the brim, and the stuff within them seemed to be the confiscated possessions of the princesses. Things like jewelry, compact mirrors, tiaras, Love Sentence magazines, every poster and merchandise related to Princess Turdina, and even some dimensional scissors.
It was like looking at a small portion of Count Mildrew's treasure horde (if he was a teenage girl, at least). But it wasn't the valuables on their own that surprised Marco the most. Heinous was already known for taking accessories that could so much as hint to a girl's personality. What was surprising were the tags that were attached to each individual object. He eyed the closest shelf to make sure, the one right beside the door they just came through. They looked like… price tags…
Marco was going to try to have Meredith point the brooch towards the shelf. It was the sort of thing they ought to be showing Lady Jaya, and Queen Moon. Unfortunately, 'Princess Bonecleaner' was already being confronted by a guard.
"No forms of individual expression beyond this point. You will be assigned a new instrument during homeroom," he said, placing his lifeless hands on the sleek modern body of Meredith's guitar.
"Hey! There's no way I'm leaving my baby behind with you creeps, so you can forget it!" Meredith growled as she began pulling her 'baby' from it's neck.
Another guard pushed Higgs out of the way, knocking her to the ground, racing to help his associate.
"Cut that out! Any disobedience will be severely punished!" He got behind Meredith, locked her in a bear hug, and attempted to pull her away from the guitar, without much success.
"A-are you okay, sister?" Marco asked Higgs, half acting and half legitimately concerned. He walked over and extended a hand to the squire to help her up, but instead she grabbed him by his dress' poofy shoulder and pulled him to earshot.
"What's the plan, princess?" Higgs whispered to him. "Think it's time to drop the act and call the cavalry?"
"Uh…" Marco looked up to see if anyone could notice them conversing, but all of their attention was on Meredith. More guards had joined in on trying to secure Bonecleaner's guitar.
"I don't think so," Marco whispered back. "We still don't know where Heinous is, let alone the princesses..."
Higgs looked confused. "Didn't you see those tags? They're selling their stuff in the black market. That's incriminating enough to arrest them. If we don't do this soon, they're gonna take away your scissors and our weapons, and then we're screwed. We're running out of time."
"Our mission is to make sure they're safe. If we start a brawl now, we can't guarantee their safety." Even if she had a good point, he couldn't take the risk of bringing the knights and other squires here yet. Not while they didn't know where the princesses were being held. It made it too easy for Miss Heinous to treat the girls as hostages.
"Marco, what makes you think they're even still alive?" Higgs retorted.
His stomach dropped at that. It wasn't like Marco hadn't considered it. They hadn't met a single living soul around here, and now they knew for sure Heinous was selling the girls' stuff. Whatever Heinous was up to, it was clear she was no longer concerned with running a proper school…
Lavabo told him to be prepared for anything with this job, but Marco couldn't accept that possibility. Anything but that.
He looked the redhead in the eyes. "They are. Just trust me on this one. We need to find a way to get taken directly to Heinous. She has to be with them."
Higgs didn't respond. Instead, she finally grabbed Marco's hand and allowed herself to be lifted up. She gave the boy one last look before turning towards Meredith and the guards.
"Bonecleaner, please calm down," she said pleadingly. "I'm sure they'll return it to you once we graduate from here. Why, I believe this is the perfect opportunity for you to learn the virtue of patience." She stressed the last word, as if trying to convey with it the conclusion of their secret conversation to her.
"Not a chance, Fruitstabber!" Meredith shouted, kicking at one of the tin men. "My soul is bound to this guitar. If I go more than twenty feet away from it, then this maiden's body that I'm possessing will regain its freedom!"
Somehow, the goth squire was still very much playing the role of a princess, while also maintaining her stupid evil band leader persona.
Higgs, for once, didn't seem annoyed at Meredith. If anything, it looked like she was expecting that kind of nonsensical response from her.
"My apologies," she said, addressing the guards now. "However, I must reiterate: this is normal behavior for my sister. I'm afraid she will not budge on this issue. Perhaps, if it isn't asking too much, we could talk to Ms. Heinous herself and get Bonecleaner a sort of diagnosis before we properly settle in?" she suggested.
It was a solid lie, but it fell on deaf ears. The guards were too focused on winning this game of tug-o'war with Meredith to consider dropping the issue. Or, maybe, Higgs' request just simply fell too far outside of their orders, or their programming.
The squire of the Wash tried to think of anything he knew about the troublesome musical squire, racking his brains for any argument that would get her to part with her guitar, even temporarily.
Suddenly, much to Marco's bewilderment, a thick cloud of smoke began rising up from one of the guards, escaping its mechanic body through the ears, then through the joints of its neck, and after that through its elbows and knees. A second later, the guard's clothes burst into flames.
"Aahhhhh! I'm on fire! I'm on fire!" the automaton shouted, in a deep metallic voice. It began running around in circles. The guards that were previously huddled alongside each other now kept a safe distance from him.
The guitar laid on the floor, undisturbed, in all its black, double cutaway, skull-and-flames glory.
"You must have accidentally strung one of it's strings," Meredith said, smiling. "Serves you right for messing with my stuff!"
Marco lifted an eyebrow. "What does that have anything to do with-"
Wait a second…
"That guitar was cursed all along," Higgs deduced, just a second ahead of him.
Right! Meredith had used her budget during the Squire Blowout to buy various cursed instruments, instead of Sir Scarsguard's actual equipment. The guitar she brought must have been one of them!
It certainly explained where she'd gotten an electric guitar. Or what looked like an electric guitar, at least, form-wise; for all Marco knew it was powered by demons or whatever. Either way, he should have realized they didn't make those in Mewni!
Not to mention the - in retrospect rather illustrative - 'flaming skull' paint job.
"But… why?"
"Because a guitar that creates flames with every strings' vibration is metal as hell, uh duh!" Meredith made a mocking face towards the squires. "And before you both start judging me, let it be said that I came prepared. I snuck in some flame-retardant gloves to go on my arms while playing. I'm no amateur when it comes to this stuff."
"And, pray tell, dear sister, what marvelous ten-second ditty were you planning to perform before this inevitably happened?" Higgs pointed at the guitar, its cheap poplar body now engulfed in flames and rapidly turning into nothing more than a huge chunk of carbon, strings snapping apart one after another under the heat.
Right, that one was definitely a Quest Buy product...
"S-shit!" Meredith exclaimed. "I-I thought the guitar itself would be fire resistant at least. This hunk of crap is literally useless to me!" The girl readied her foot to kick the mess of burning wood, until seemingly realizing what a bad idea that would be. She opted to glare at it instead.
Meanwhile the one guard who was unlucky enough to touch the self-immolating instrument was rolling on the floor, trying to put out the flames around its mechanical body.
"Someone, please! Get me some water," he pleaded to the other men.
Marco wondered if these guys were advanced enough to be equipped with some sort of pain receptors. He then realized he was more comfortable not knowing the answer to that question.
Several guards rushed back into the room, each holding a bucket of water over their heads.
"W-wait a second guys! I… take it back. Don't-"
Splash!
The large bucketfuls of water made quick work of the fire. However, immediately after the flames were quelled, the guard's body began to shake violently. Sparks of electricity flickered across its entire being.
"Bzzzzz Bzzz Bzzzzzz…"
Marco didn't like the sound of that. He reflexively grabbed the girls and brought them down to the ground. Perhaps that bubble gum incident had been a more applicable life lesson than he first thought.
As expected, the guard's body exploded into waves of blue flames. The noise reverberated several times over, bouncing off the stone walls deep within the manor's sub-basement. Smoke billowed through the antechamber. Thankfully, none of the squires was hurt, for now.
When Marco looked up, he realized the guards were rather intent on not keeping it that way.
"Halt this uprising now!" one of them shouted, as a dozen followed behind him. "Rebelliousness will not be tolerated!"
"Oh, yeah?" Marco yelled out, almost forgetting that he was supposed to be meek Princess Breadcutter, not rebel hero Princess Turdina. "And what are you going to do about it?"
"You two will be taken with the others," one of the guards explained. "Miss Heinous will see to her…" The robot pointed towards Meredith, threateningly.
That was…
Perfect, actually.
Marco glanced at Higgs, making eye contact and motioning silently towards Meredith. The more experienced squire seemed to think it through for a moment, then nodded back at him. 'She can take care of herself, for now,' she seemed to be saying.
"We are sorry!" Higgs cried out, lifting both hands in the air, sounding genuinely terrified, just as Princess Fruitstabber ought to be at this point. "We surrender."
She then glared briefly at Meredith, looking genuinely terrifying. "Right, Bonecleaner?"
"Uh, that's… um, that's right, I guess," Meredith muttered. "Anyhow, without the guitar, there is no point in fighting anymore. Soon my soul will fade from this vessel…" she added, with transparently fake anguish.
Between her and Marco himself, the trio of squires sure was lucky none of the guards seemed programmed to recognize bad acting! Instead, Miss Heinous' robot henchmen took that declaration at face value, and the 'death' of one of their own in stride.
Two guards quickly grabbed 'Princess Bonecleaner' by both her arms, and began literally dragging her away, with another four marching in tow. With them all looking the other way, Higgs made a quick gesture with her hand in Meredith's direction, too fast for Marco to see.
Soon after, the remaining six guards surrounded the two left over squires, took away the broom and mop from Higgs, and began marching them down a different door, out of the antechamber.
They were giving them only a foot or two of personal space. Three guards marched ahead of them, and three kept the rear. It was clearly a much higher security detail now, after the guitar incident. At least Marco and Higgs were allowed to walk on their own, unlike Meredith.
"Ten minutes," she whispered in his ear. "I signed Bonecleaner ten minutes."
The implication was clear: if it took them longer to find the other princesses, then they should proceed to phase two regardless, and go after her, mops blazing. Marco also noted that she had used the cover name, even when she was pretty sure none of the guards would hear, just in case. He had to give it to Higgs, she treated this sort of thing with a lot more professionalism than any of the other squires did.
Marco tried to keep count in his head, even as he was sure she was doing the same.
'...one hundred fifty-six, one hundred fifty-seven…'
Before the seconds rolled into minute number three, the guards stopped right in front of yet another closed door.
There were voices coming from behind it, whispering, muttering… weeping.
Marco lost the count immediately.
Those weren't the deep robotic instructions of Miss Heinous' guards. Those were girl voices. Some, Marco thought, or imagined, were ones he recognized.
The guard in front was fumbling with his keys. Marco resisted the urge to take them from him and open the door himself. This was it, the answer to the mystery of where all of St. O's students had gone.
The key went into the keyhole. It twisted around. The door creaked open. The sound of voices faded into an instant silence.
Finally, Marco and Higgs saw what was inside that room.
"Oh, crap…" Higgs exclaimed. Or was it Fruitstabber? It probably didn't matter. Most people would react the same way.
Marco, for his part, was rendered speechless.
Inside the long and narrow room were small iron cages, stacked three rows high one atop each other. Inside the cages, crouched, unable to fully lie down or stand up, were the 'wayward' princesses of St O's. They stared at them with shocked empty eyes and jaws agape, as the guards behind them pushed Higgs and Marco in.
The room smelled like fear and human waste. It was empty except for the cages and a large bulky machine, full of cables, knobs, and cranks. Between the contraption and the caged princesses, it looked like some sort of deranged laboratory, with the girls cast into the role of the terrified lab rats.
In fact, one of them was an actual rat. She seemed just as terrified and hurt as the others, and Marco wondered for a split second if that analogy hadn't been somehow a cruel one for her. Not that he had said anything out loud…
Leaning against the side of the machine was a bizarre yet partly familiar figure: a headless lizard monster, with one arm entirely missing and the other replaced by an electric chainsaw. His legs were also much smaller than the rest of the body. They looked atrophied somehow. The monster stumbled away from the contraption the moment the door was opened.
It was alive, even without a head.
Marco wasn't too surprised. Freaked out, maybe, but not surprised. Miss Heinous' monster lieutenant had seemed alive too back when he was only a single severed arm. By comparison, now his body was closer to being fully formed than not.
'Rasticore', was it?
"T… t…" one of the princesses began to mumble, clouded-out eyes blinking at the newcomers. It was Princess Arms. So named, apparently, because she had four of them. "…Turdina? Is that you?"
Rasticore's neck-stump turned violently towards Marco at the mention of the name.
Urgh. Given past experiences, Marco wasn't too shocked to learn that the mutilated monster could hear, even without ears, and maybe see, even without eyes. Still, that didn't prevent its partially formed body from looking like the stuff of nightmares.
Well, the gig was up, then. Not that Marco had intended to keep quiet in the face of this horror show, or let himself be stuffed into a cage too as Breadcutter.
He glanced at Higgs. "Phase two?"
"Phase two," she confirmed.
As she spoke, the redhead jumped forward, kicking the chest of the closest guard with both her feet, throwing him off balance. She used the robot's chest as a springboard with which to propel herself backwards, harnessing that same momentum to yank the confiscated broom and mop out of the robot's literal grip of steel. She landed in a crouched stance, right besides the other squire, and threw his recovered weapon back at him.
Marco caught Sir Lavabo's mop with the right hand, just as he retrieved the dimensional scissors from inside his dress with the left. Higgs, for her part, after throwing the mop to him, used her 'broom' to sweep to the side the remaining two robot henchmen ahead of them.
Marco turned around, brandishing the mop towards the three guards behind them. He plunged the head right into the face of the nearest foe.
Sir Lavabo's mop, one of the Wash's traditional weapons-slash-implements, was made of steel and nearly unbreakable. It was also magical, even if its only magic was that the head of the mop was always whole, and always clean, and always wet, no matter how much it was used.
Right now, that was magic enough. The robot's head exploded in a shower of sparks upon contact, as the water flowing slowly but endlessly from the mop leaked into the tin man's internals. The guard fell backward, its back impacting the floor with a loud mechanic 'clank'.
Seeing their fellow fall to the ground, the two other henchmen hesitated and took a step back from Marco.
That was their second mistake.
Trusting Higgs to have his back, the squire let the mop hang to the side for a moment and raised the scissors instead. Before any of the foes before him could capitalize on the opening, he was already cutting a portal. It led back to the outside of Saint Olga's, back to team two, who had likely been waiting to spring into action ever since Meredith - and her brooch - got separated from the rest of team one.
Lady Jaya emerged first, still dressed in full plate armor. This time, she was wearing a matching silver helmet. Its red visor was closed shut, leaving no obvious openings to her defenses. She assessed the situation in a second and lunged towards one of the two remaining robots. An instant later, she was kicking its unmoving body free from the long red lance with which she had stabbed its heart.
Sir Thorncloak followed, bashing the remaining robot with a black morningstar, smashing its head to bits.
Marco turned around to see how Higgs was faring, only to find her standing over three decapitated robots, the point of her poleaxe trained on an advancing Rasticore. She had even somehow gotten rid of the bristles from its broom disguise. She shot him back a triumphant grin.
Damn! Marco couldn't help but be a bit impressed by that. Higgs was a pain in the butt, but she was also sort of, well… amazing.
Not that he would ever tell her that!
"Out of my way, squires!" shouted Sir Stabby, emerging out of the portal after Jaya and Thorncloak.
He strode past Marco, while Higgs just stepped out of his way like the two of them were used to this sort of thing. Marco supposed that, like Sir Lavabo and himself, they probably were, in their own way, accustomed to fighting together.
"No way I am going to be left out of all the action!" the belligerent knight declared, as he unsheathed the vorpal sword and walked up to Rasticore.
'Bzzzzz,' went the dimensional chainsaw.
'Snicker-snack,' went the vorpal blade.
Rasticore's chainsaw arm flew up in the air, detached from its body. Sir Stabby swung again, and again after that. One leg followed, then the other. Then the torso was minced into fine pieces too. It would take the lizard monster a long time to grow back from any of those!
"What do you think of that!?" the knight shouted out, proudly.
"Sloppy. A vastly unnecessary amount of cuts, and way too much pressure on the downswing," admonished Lady Jaya, who had clearly not taken the question to be rhetorical. She flicked the visor of her helmet up before adding, "Have you ever studied, say, Queen Solaria's Field Guide on the Use of Vorpal Swords and Other Greater Magical Blades?"
"A damn manual? For a bloody sword!?" Sir Stabby asked, incredulous. "You best be joking, old woman."
"It's a short book, Ronald. Queen Solaria was not known for long-winded prose, and it would do you some good." She sighed. "Anyways, there are more pressing matters at hand."
As she said that, Lady Jaya glanced at the pocket mirror in her left hand, then turned back to face Marco, showing the display of the mirror to him. "Can you open a portal to this place?"
Right as she asked, Claus, following Timore, Nicholas, and Old Guy before him, crossed over into the room. With everyone around, Marco zipped the current portal and ventured a glance to what the older woman was showing him.
The image in the mirror was dark, so dark that Marco could only see the gray stone bricks of the wall on the left side and the short figure staring right back at the 'camera'. He seemed to be absorbed in examining something just above the lens. Meredith's face, probably. This had to be the feed from her 'brooch'.
The figure itself was familiar to Marco, too. It was Gemini, Miss Heinous' right hand man: short, hunchbacked, and with a, well… gem in his eye.
Uh. Did that make his actual name 'Gem-In-Eye'?
Marco decided it was not the time for wondering about that.
The feed was silent, at least on this end, but that might just be the way Lady Jaya was running her own hand-mirror, to avoid distractions. Marco couldn't see Miss Heinous in the picture, or anything else for that matter. But, if Gemini was there, then his boss was bound to be really close nearby. That is if she wasn't in the room already, and just merely out of frame.
"Sorry ma'am, I can't," Marco finally answered Lady Jaya's original question. "The scissors work best when one has been to the portal's destination. Sometimes you can make them work if you know where you are supposed to be going, even if you've never been there. But, well, that could literally be any room on this floor, or even the one above."
The experienced knight nodded. "Fair enough. Thank you for trying. I suppose we'll just have to do this the old fashioned way."
Lady Jaya glanced at Sir Stabby and Sir Thorncloak. She seemed about to say something but, before the commanding knight could give her orders, a faint voice asserted itself, with some trouble, over the momentary pause.
"P...princess Turdina…?" It came from the opposite end of the room. "Is it… is it really you?"
"Uh?… I mean… Yeah, that's right!" Marco announced, trying to project a great deal more confidence than he felt. "Hello princesses, it's your girl, Princess Turdina, and the fine knights and squires of Mewni, here to set you all free!"
It wasn't like he wanted to take credit for Lady Jaya's - or, well, Queen Moon's - operation here. But these princesses needed reassurance, at least, that the worse was well behind them. Marco figured a familiar face might help, and a positive attitude too.
He walked towards the voice.
It came from inside one of the cages furthest from the entrance, closest to the strange machine.
When Marco first heard it, it had sounded wrong. He had just realized why. It had sounded… old.
Everyone was silent for a moment, even the knights, as Marco peered inside the cage. They could all tell something was wrong and, despite his earlier boast, so could Marco. When he finally saw the person who had spoken, he let out an involuntary gasp. Of surprise, at first, then terror.
Princess Turdina could hardly claim that she had gotten to know the princesses of Saint Olga's half as well as they probably deserved, or half as well as they knew him, er, her. She didn't even know the name of the one who had just spoken. But she had definitely met this princess before.
When he first met her, she had brown eyes, fluffy white wool, and tiny ram horns over her head. She had been a girl his own age merely a year ago.
That was no longer the case.
The woman sitting in the cage wasn't just old, she looked ancient. It was as if she had spent decades, quarter-centuries, languishing inside that small barred iron box. Her eyes were now faded, her wool was gray, and each of her horns were about twice the size of her head.
"W-what happened to you!?" Marco asked, shocked, before he could stop himself.
The ram princess looked down, unable to answer, hiding her face. Marco saw a tear hit the floor of the iron cage.
"It's the machine," explained Princess Arms, all the way from the other side of the room, knowing all too well what 'Princess Turdina' had just seen.
Marco turned to look at the huge electronic contraption that took most of this side of the room. He noticed the iron restraints attached to it, and the suction-cup sort of mechanisms.
"Miss Heinous uses it to keep herself… young? … normal?" Princess Arms continued over the generalized silence. "It drains out your life, your energy, your living spirit. It leaves you weak and tired for days. Run it long enough and it takes your youth too, until there is nothing left. There are, I dunno, eight or nine of us who are that far along? A few more in between. Miss Heinous says she doesn't usually need that much, but… well… ever since Pony Head escaped, she only got worse."
"Oh, corn!" cried out Lady Jaya. "Squires, get these girls free. Now!"
"Yes, ma'am," replied Nicholas immediately, and set off to search the fallen robot guards. Looking for keys, probably.
Timore, on the other hand, took the more direct route. She walked to two cages near the middle and crushed the padlocks on both, one with each hand.
Meanwhile, Higgs used her poleaxe as a lever to break another lock. It was somewhat slower than the demon squire's method, but effective. Baby Man tried his strength against a single cage, to no effect. Old Guy just stood where he was.
Marco also didn't move at first, still partly in shock.
"We should destroy the machine, then," suggested Sir Thorncloak. "To ensure it's not used again."
"Very well," agreed Sir Stabby, smiling gleefully as he lifted his priced magical sword high over the contraption.
"Wait, Ronald!" Lady Jaya shouted, drawing a grunt of irritation out of the younger knight.
"What is it now, woman?"
"There is a chance that machine can be run in reverse," the elder knight noted. "Until we know for sure that's not the case, I'd rather focus on getting the girls out."
Crap! Marco hadn't even thought of that!
He looked at the ram princess, still in her cage in front of him. Maybe, just maybe, she would be fine, she could go back to normal. She could still get to be a girl again, and then to grow up, the right way, the long way…
"Um, Marco…? I mean, Turdina," a quiet hesitant voice interrupted his thoughts. "May I?"
"Yeah, of course." He stepped back from the cage, allowing Timore to crush the lock and begin helping the older-looking princess out. The recently freed girl glanced at Marco, pleadingly, then quickly turned back towards the floor.
"We'll fix this," Marco promised, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I swear. We'll fix this and make Heinous pay."
The ram princess nodded, faintly, but didn't look back at Turdina.
In the meantime, it seemed that Nicholas had found the keys. With those, plus Timore's powerful hands, they were making quick progress freeing all the prisoners.
Marco glanced back towards the entrance, only to see one of the already released girls was now walking right towards him, with Princess Arms not far behind her. The new girl had frizzy red hair, standing up on both ends, and her skin was green and scaly, like a lizard… or a dragon.
The latter seemed to fit better, somehow. That's not to say she was large and imposing, though. Quite the opposite. She was short, thin, yet round-faced, with pale purple freckles over her sea-green scales. That, plus her messy hair, standing up into a sharp U-shape, added up to a cute but somewhat awkward looking teenage 'dragon girl'.
Marco vaguely remembered having met her before as well.
"T… thank you, Princess Turdina," she said. "We are all very glad you are ok, by the way… really. When you didn't come to your celebration… and then, after that… Miss Heinous. Well, we thought maybe you were… you know…"
"Celebration?" Marco asked. He wasn't sure what the girl was talking about.
"You know, your graduation ceremony?" said Princess Arms, backing up her friend.
"G-graduation?" he repeated, equally confused by that.
"Well… more like… just another party," the baby faced dragon-princess clarified, embarrassed. Or was she a lizard-princess, after all? "Heh. I guess that doesn't matter now… it's just…"
"When you didn't show up to your ceremony, or even reply to the invite, and then Miss Heinous showed up instead, that same day, we thought she had captured you too, for sure." Princess Arms clarified, talking rather quickly. "And, since you didn't end up here…"
"We thought you were dead!" a third princess finished, less than diplomatically, as she joined the group. It was the rat princess.
"I'm sorry," Marco said, tentatively. "But I honestly don't know what you are all talking about…" Although he felt like he should.
There was a moment of confusion in the princesses' faces.
"You didn't get our invitation?" Arms asked. "To commemorate the legacy of Princess Turdina, and our… well, you know, our freedom from Miss Heinous." There was a note of bitterness there, of reproach. "We were planning to give you an honorary degree."
An invitation.
Marco felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He remembered having gotten a flier from St O's, back during his first week as a squire, the same day he got the Squire Blowout Sale invitation as well. He hadn't thought that one was addressed to him in particular, just another bit of junk mail.
Except Saint Olga's was a school for princesses. So, who else were they going to send a flier to in the middle of the mewnian countryside? Of course it had been for him!
He had blown off their invitation. And, that same day was the day Miss Heinous had returned?
Marco felt sick. If he had seen the letter for what it was, if he had been here that day…
"Knights, squires, I am afraid we are still in a hurry here," came the calm and collected voice of Lady Jaya, piercing through the turmoil in Marco's mind. "We are certainly well past the ten minutes squire Higgs promised squire Meredith."
Marco turned around, worried that he was once again leaving someone he knew in danger. The older knight just shook her head and glanced at the compact mirror. The human boy soon realized he wasn't the only one looking at her with concern, most of his fellow squires had done the same, and even Sir Stabby looked uncomfortable.
"She is fine, for now, but we shouldn't leave her alone much longer," the woman clarified. "That said, neither can we leave the princesses on their own. So, I am forming teams again. Sir Thorncloak, you three," she pointed at Timore, Baby Man, and Old Guy. "You are on guard duty. Get these kids out of here and keep them safe until we get back."
The gruff mace-wielding knight frowned at this, but nodded in acknowledgement.
"The rest of you are with me. And I am giving the order now, so there is no confusion," Lady Jaya continued. "We are to apprehend Miss Heinous. Alive, if possible. But, in any case, she is not to leave school grounds."
There was a collective shudder from the already freed up princesses at the mention of the headmistress.
The squires all nodded, grimly. Sir Stabby grinned.
"One more thing. Squire Nicholas, lend the extraction group the keys," she requested. It made sense, most of the princesses were still in cages after all, and Timore could use the help. "And… Princess Turdina, it's probably best if they use your scissors as well."
Marco noted that she had made an effort not to word that as an order, and also that she was addressing him as Turdina, not Marco or 'squire', probably for the benefit of his cover with the princesses.
He thought it through for only a moment. The dimensional scissors were precious, both in absolute terms and for him personally. Still, he was more than happy to leave them behind, if they guaranteed the princesses would have an easier time getting away. It was the least he could do for them, quite literally.
He walked past Sir Thorncloak and over to Timore.
"Take care of them, ok?" he asked her, as he deposited the scissors in her hand.
She glanced at him, surprise evident in the rapid flickering of the flames inside her otherwise unchanging eye sockets. In fact, she seemed to be too taken aback by his choice to properly react and take hold of the scissors. In the end, Marco had to close the demon girl's palm around the handle, using both of his own much smaller hands to do so.
He smiled at her, and finally got a determined nod in return, accompanied by a brightening of her flame. "Marc-, I mean, Turdina. I... won't let you down."
Marco just hoped that Sir Thorncloak wouldn't take it personally, but he trusted Timore and, on the other hand, knew very little of her knight. Plus, Lady Jaya hadn't specified who he ought to leave the scissors with. He saw Nicholas follow his lead, and give the key to Baby Man - or, well, Claus - and was glad for the cover that choice provided for his own actions.
"Well, squire, what are you waiting for?" Sir Thorncloak bellowed, looking only vaguely irritated. "Give us one back to the waiting point. I'll go ahead and secure it, then you can send them through one by one as soon as they are free. We'll wait there for Lady Jaya's vanguard group, before heading back to Mewni for a debrief together."
"Y… yes, sir!" Timore replied, nervously. With a lot more care than was really needed, she cut open her first dimensional portal. Despite it all, it made Marco smile.
Her knight rushed through. Then, a second later, his arm pushed back through the portal, making a clear 'follow me' motion.
Princess Arms nodded at the dragon princess, who would be the first to cross after him.
Marco couldn't stay and watch, however, as Lady Jaya was already racing out of the room, followed by Sir Stabby, Higgs, and Nicholas. Marco awkwardly saluted the other princesses, and then turned to follow the main group.
In the end, he was glad to be in the team handling the assault, rather than the evacuation. Marco wanted to believe it was because he was fixated on making Heinous pay for what she had done. But, if he was fully honest with himself, he also wasn't sure if he could even keep his composure in front of all those girls as Turdina right now.
Author's Notes: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Stay tuned for the battle against Heinous (as as an unexpected POV change)!