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Chapter 20

Helga leaned against the bathroom door to catch her breath. What was going on with her? She was very hot and very bothered. How was she going to make it through the next couple of days? She ran her hand down her face and sighed.

"Jesus Christ," she walked over to the sink and rested her hands on the cool counter. The steam from the shower was filling the small space. Helga looked at herself. Her face was flushed and it wasn't from the shower.

'What the hell is going on with me?' She thought as she pulled at her shirt collar. She hadn't figured out her feelings for Arnold yet and couldn't afford to get carnal. She had to ignore her basic instinct.

"I don't even know if I have feelings for him," she lied. Helga knew full well that something was there, but to admit it to herself would mean so many things. Things she just wasn't ready to deal with. The last time she let her nether regions make decisions for her when it came to Arnold she ended up in a very bad situation. A situation she had to tell Arnold, but how. When?

A tear rolled down Helga's face. She watched it travel down the curves of her cheeks. She hadn't cried about it for some time. All these renewed emotions had brought the pain of that time of her life to the forefront of her mind. Helga sighed again and removed her shirt.

She couldn't think about this anymore. She removed the rest of her clothes and climbed into the shower.

Arnold took his phone out of his pocket and began to text Gerald. He stopped mid-sentence and stared at the words on his screen. Gerald was probably making love to Phoebe. They were newly engaged. He shouldn't bother him with his own mess. At least not yet.

Begrudgingly, Arnold shoved his phone back in his pocket. Instead, he rolled over and grabbed the hotel phone and dialed the front desk.

"Front desk," Helen's sing-songy voice answered. Arnold smiled even though she couldn't see him.

"Hi, Helen. It's Arnold Shortman, in 456."

"Oh Hi, Mr. Shortman. I do apologize again for your room confusion. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually, yeah. Is there a roll-away bed I can get sent up here?" Arnold waited patiently for her to give him a happy chuckle and send the bed right up to their room.

"Um, no," she said regretfully"

"Oh," was all Arnold could muster. His plan to 'be good' was getting more and more difficult. The roll-away bed was his key to keeping his hands to himself.

"I'm really sorry, sir. For the trouble you have endured, I can offer you free room service for the length of your stay."

"That's fine. Thanks, Helen." He didn't wait for her to reply.

Just as he hung up the phone, the phone buzzed in his pocket. It was an email from Mr. Langley.

Don't fuck this up, Shortman!

Arnold rolled his eyes. He really didn't care for the man, but it was his company. Just as he replaced his phone he heard the water turn off.

"Helga," he whispered. Langley's text had distracted him from the fact that her naked, wet body was only one door away from him. "No, Arnold. Think with the big head, man." He softly banged his forehead.

"Fuck you," he heard Helga say from the bathroom. She must have got the same message from Langley. Arnold smiled despite himself. He loved her feistiness.

A few moments later, Helga emerged from the bathroom in her full night garb. She had on a baggy old t-shirt that read 'Hillwood High' across the front and equally baggy sweatpants with bleach stains all over them. Her face was covered in a tan-colored paste and her toothbrush was hanging from her mouth.

Arnold jumped at the sight of her. "Jesus Christ," he held his chest from the shock.

"Shut up," she said through her toothpaste covered mouth. Arnold laughed as she spat a little on the carpet. She tried to yell at him again, but she just spat out even more. Arnold doubled over in laughter. Helga gave up talking and gave him yet another middle finger.

"Anytime sweetcheeks," Arnold replied without thinking. As soon as it came out of his mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said it. Helga stopped brushing mid-stroke and stared at him. She was grateful for the mask, otherwise, her extremely red cheeks would be visible.

"Sorry," Arnold rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Helga nodded and gestured towards the bathroom. Arnold grabbed his own bag and walked towards the steamy room.

Arnold's shower was considerably cooler than Helga's. He was exhausted and needed to sleep as soon as possible. The only problem was, he had no idea where he was supposed to do that. Once his shower was over, he got dressed and walked back into the room. Helga was standing at the door, mouth dripping. She pushed him out of the way and headed for the sink.

"Excuse me, princess," Helga ignored him and finished brushing her teeth and rinsed the mask from her face. Arnold gathered his things as she did. He placed his bag in the closet in the small hallway.

"So, how are we going to do this?" He asked once she left the bathroom. Helga looked confused but followed his eyes to the single bed in the room. She blushed.

"We can call for a roll-away," she suggested. Arnold shook his head.

"Already tried."

"Fucking Helen," Helga cursed as she sat on the edge of the bed. Arnold stood.

"I can just sleep on the floor," Arnold moved to pull a blanket off the bed when Helga stopped him.

"Don't be silly, Arnoldo." He raised an eyebrow. "We are both adults and we can share a bed without getting weird about it."

"Ok," Arnold wasn't sure about this, but he really didn't want to sleep on a hotel room floor. No telling what bodily fluids are soaked in those things.

"You stay on your side and I'll stay on mine,"

"Deal," Arnold pulled the covers bad and got into the bed. His body was craving to rest. Helga did the same and was equally as tired.

Arnold turned off the lamp on his side and plugged in his phone. Helga watched as his broad back stretched to reach his cord. She felt a warm sensation building that she very much wanted to go away. This was so much easier before she knew what it felt like to be with him.

Even though they fought all through high school and college, that didn't stop Helga's feelings for Arnold. She lost her virginity when she was a junior in high school and hadn't slowed down since. She would always fantasize about being with Arnold but never thought it would actually happen. Then it did and it was better than anything she could come up with. Arnold was the best sex she'd ever had. No one touched her as he did.

Helga felt the heat in her belly move down her body to her most sensitive area. He was right there. It would be so simple to just give in and experience that again, and again.

"Helga, stop staring at me like that," Arnold's voice was husky and pleading. His voice snapped her out of her line of thinking. Helga shook her head and turn her own lamp off. She rolled onto her side away from Arnold and closed her eyes, tightly. She just needed to sleep and ignore these damned feelings. She could hear his breathing began to slow after a few moments. He wasn't sleeping, but he'd calmed down.

Arnold nearly jumped her when he saw the look on her face, but he didn't. He needed another cold shower. Having sex with her now would only complicate their situation. Arnold wanted Helga, but he didn't want to pressure her or make her feel rushed. He needed her to come to her own conclusions.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Her proximity was making it very difficult to focus on anything other than her. So instead of the heat from her body, Arnold focused on her breathing. The rhythmic lull of it helped calm him. Eventually, her breath became even and slow. Arnold felt his own match hers as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Helga woke up feeling cozier than she ever remembered being. She felt safe and secure. The feeling was nice and she didn't open her eyes, but snuggle into the feeling and drift back to sleep. That is until her alarm went off signaling time for her yoga practice. Reluctantly, Helga opened her eyes and threw the blanket off.

"Oh," she mouthed as she looked down at Arnold's hand firmly wrapped around her waist. She turned her head to look at him. He was drooling on the pillow just above her head. He looked so peaceful. Helga smiled, despite herself. Arnold let out a deep snore. The sun hadn't come up yet and Helga didn't have the heart to wake him. So, despite her better judgment, Helga snuggled into his chest. Arnold's arm pulled her closer and he moaned into her hair. Helga smiled. She loved this feeling, way more than she should, but she didn't care right now. She let sleep take her again.

Arnold hadn't slept in for a long time. Even before getting this job, he was always out and about pretty early. His body really needed the rest. He felt something, or someone nestled against him. Part of him wanted to wake her, the nice guy part of him, but he didn't. He pulled her closer to his body as she snored softly.

Helga looked peaceful. The way she looked that day he watched her do her yoga. Arnold smiled to himself. He wanted this. He wanted to wake up with her in his arms every day. He wanted to kiss her but decided not to. He would respect her and give her time. He knew Helga was fighting him again. He could tell.

They were not due to meet the author until the evening, so they could lie like this for the rest of the day if they wanted to. Arnold knew better. As soon as Helga woke up, this nice little bubble would pop. As if sensing he was thinking about her, she began to stir. Arnold removed his arms from her. Helga moaned in disapproval without opening her eyes and reached for his arms to replace them.

Arnold smirked as she snuggled back into his chest. He took exactly three breaths before she pushed away from him.

"Um, sorry," she mumbled. Helga wiggled back to her side of the bed and picked up her phone. She lifted the device to try and hide her face. Helga's eyes grew large with surprise when she read the time. She'd only planned to lay there for a few minutes, she'd been sleeping for two hours!

"Did you sleep well?" Arnold joked as he stretched and grabbed his own phone. Helga stuck out her tongue at him. Arnold chuckled. His attention was momentarily pulled away from her as he read numerous texts from Gerald.

Keep your dick in your pants, man

Well if you're going to do it, at least wrap it up

Nobody wants more Patakis running around

I mean if it's yours I'll allow it

Arnold smiled and shook his head at Gerald's implications. He told Gerald his feelings before he left for work. Gerald wasn't happy about it, but he understood. He and Helga had never seen eye to eye, but he saw the chemistry between them and wished Arnold luck.

"What's so funny?" Helga inquired.

"Nothing," he lied. He tried to put his phone back on the side table, but Helga snatched it out of his hand before he could.

"Hey, don't read that!" Arnold yelled. Helga smirked as she held the phone out of his reach.

"Paybacks a bitch, huh?" Helga remembered when Arnold took her own phone from her last week. Arnold didn't want her to read Gerald's text so he reached for the phone. She moved it away.

"Come on, Helga." Arnold reasoned.

Helga ignored him and put the phone in front of her to read the text. Arnold tried to swipe it again and missed it. She held the device above her head and Arnold lunged at her knocking her flat on her back on the bed. He reached for it, but Helga twisted under him and wiggled a little further away from him. She was now hanging off the side of the bed with Arnold's heavy body on top of her. She giggled as she finally was able to fight him off and see the phone.

With her arms fully outstretched and Arnold climbing up her body, Helga began to read. She kicked playfully to slow him down but stopped the more she read. Eventually, she became perfectly still. Arnold finally grabbed his phone from her.

"Got it," he yelled triumphantly, but his feelings of joy were short-lived when he heard Helga began to cry.

"Hey, no." He frowned with concern. "I was just joking. You can have it back." Arnold was confused. An angry Helga he understood, but a sad, crying Helga was terrifying. Helga covered her face as she wept loudly into her hands.

"What's wrong?" Arnold lifted himself off her and brought her shaking body to sit in his lap. He held her as she cried and cried. She was inconsolable. He shushed her and rocked her, but nothing worked. Eventually, he just settled for placing feather-light kisses on the top of her head and stroking her hair gently.

After a while, Helga quieted. Arnold expected her to push him away and pretend as nothing happened, but she didn't. She just let him hold her for a while longer. Arnold loved the closeness but was so confused as to what happened. 'She'll tell me when she's ready,' He thought.

Helga sat in Arnold's arms for a long time. She was sick of crying. She'd cried so much in the last few days. She knew that if she opened her mouth, she would start all over again. Arnold was dense, but he wasn't going to let this go. He would need an explanation for what just happened. Helga sighed. She was going to tell Arnold eventually anyway, why not now.

"I have something to tell you," Helga sniffed and pushed away from Arnold. She readjusted herself to sit across from him. Arnold looked confused. She expected him to.

"What is it? Did I hurt you earlier?" Helga shook her head and wiped a tear.

"I have something to tell you that I should have told you years ago. Before I do, I just want you to know that I was scared and I was young. It's ok if you're mad or you hate me after I tell you. I will understand."

Arnold didn't like this. Helga had never talked like this before. Her tone and words were making him uneasy. "Helga, what's this about?"

"Just let me tell you. Please don't interrupt me. I might chicken out." She looked at him through tear strained eyes for confirmation. He nodded, reluctantly.

"I haven't told a soul what I'm getting ready to tell you, not even Phoebe." she took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "After that night at Rhonda's, I was so angry and confused. I just wanted to erase you from my life. I wanted you gone. I refused to come around if you would be there, or if there was a chance of you being there. Phoebe thought we should talk about it, but I was just done." She could see that Arnold wanted to say something, but he remained quiet.

"Anyway, after the summer, I went back to school and I was super distracted. I was failing my classes. I missed tons of work. I was broken, somehow. I just could admit to myself that I pushed you away. I hated myself for a long time. All my life, all I wanted was you and once I got you, I messed it up." Helga ran her baggy sleeve across her nose and sniffed. Arnold wanted to hold her, but he let her talk.

"A mopped around for the next few weeks, then I got really sick. I was vomiting every day, multiple times a day. I figured it was from not eating right. I wish that's what it was." Helga stopped and grabbed Arnold's hands before she spoke again. A hole started to form in Arnold's gut.

"Arnold, I wasn't sick." She swallowed. Arnold mimicked her. "I was pregnant." Arnold couldn't see Helga anymore. The room faded away and his ears began to ring. His eyes shot up and looked past her at nothing. Helga felt his hands go slack. She gave him a second.

"What?" he said after a few seconds of silence. He thought he heard her say she was pregnant, but that couldn't be right. He'd imagined it.

"I was pregnant," she repeated. Arnold snatched his hands away and jumped up from the bed. Helga watched as he paced and pulled at his hair.

"What, pregnant? Helga, I…" He stammered. Helga watched him for a few more seconds before getting up and grabbing his hands again. Arnold's eyes settled on her. It was tough to decipher a single emotion on his face.

"You said you would let me finish." Arnold nodded and let Helga led him back to the bed. His skin was a few shades lighter, but she continued.

"I found out and I didn't know what to do. I was so mad at myself for everything that I figured this was a punishment. The thought of aborting your baby was out of the question, so I decided to keep it. I thought maybe fate was giving me a way to be with you after all. I knew you wouldn't forgive me for the awful things I said, but this baby. Our baby," She smiled at him. Arnold tried to smile back, but his mind wasn't communicating with his body.

"She deserved a chance."

"She," Arnold, finally smiled. Helga nodded.

"Yeah, it was a girl. Anyway, I started to feel hopeful. The pregnancy was a bitch. I had really terrible morning sickness, insomnia, I got sick anytime I smelled any meat. It was bad, but I didn't care. I was having Arnold's baby. Anything was worth it. I took really good care of myself. I never missed a doctor's appointment." Arnold squeezed her hand as she reminisced. She looked up at his tight jaw.

"What is it Arnold?" he lowered his shoulders at her words.

"What happened to the baby, Helga?" He asked. His voice was small and he stared down at their joined hands as he spoke. Helga sighed.

"I'm getting to that. Anyway, I never missed an appointment. The doctors told me I was really healthy and so was the baby. Around 4 months, things changed." Helga felt the tears again but swallowed them.

"I got this intense pain at the bottom of my belly while I was in class. I thought I had to poop." They laughed. "I went to the bathroom and I saw blood. A lot of blood. So, I went straight to the hospital. When I got there, the doctors had me in the OR in 15 minutes. They had to take her or she would take me. She died, Arnold."

Helga couldn't hold in her sobs any longer. She released a fresh batch of tears. Arnold pulled her into his chest. A tear escaped his own eye as the reality sank in. His daughter, their baby had died and Helga dealt with this all on her own. Every mean thing he'd said to her since that moment she lost their child hit him like a semi.

"I'm so sorry, Helga. I'm sorry," He stroked her hair and whispered to her. Helga clutched at his shirt and resoaked the material. Arnold pulled their bodies back into the bed. He pulled the covers over them and held her tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you suffered through that alone. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Please, Helga, I'm so sorry." He chanted into her hair. Helga's sobs began to quiet. Arnold continued to soothe her. She clung to him like letting him go would mean death.

"You're not angry?" Helga asked after a few quiet moments.

"No, I'm proud of you. Nobody should have felt what you went through and you survived it. I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you then." Arnold kissed her forehead softly.

"Proud of me? I just knew you would hate me for not telling you. I know how important family is to you." Arnold shushed her and kissed her again.

"Helga, yes, I would have wanted to know, but you had your reasons for not telling me. It's not like we parted on good terms. You endured something that I should have been by your side with and it's equally my fault that you kept it from me." Helga sniffed and snuggled into Arnold's warmth.

"I am sorry, Arnold, for not telling you. I should have."

"Shush, stop it. Just rest. I appreciate you for telling me now. You had no reason to." Helga didn't speak for a long time after. She thought about everything that's happened in their life together. They'd been through a lot.

"Arnold," she whispered into the quiet. "Do you really love me?" The question surprised her.

"Yeah, I do. You were always looking out for me. What you did for me and my parents, I can never repay you for that. You are the reason my family is whole and at that moment, I understood the kind of person you were. I knew that I wanted you in my life, forever." Helga smiled but didn't respond. She'd released so much that day, she was exhausted as if she'd didn't sleep.

Arnold heard her breathing slow and grow even. His emotions were all over the place, but Helga needed this moment. He closed his eyes. A blue-eyed, blond, football headed baby angel kissed his cheek as he drifted off to sleep.

Please Review

A/N: WOW! What a chapter, right. I've been waiting to drop that little bombshell for a while now. Did you guys see Helga dreading this conversation a few times in the story? We are getting close to the end now. Maybe one or two more chapters. Thanks to all of you who have been here from the beginning and take the time to comment. It means a lot and is super motivating. Anyway, as always, review, review, review! Till next time folks!